Stop these NICE PERSON habits they're SABOTAGING YOU
Пікірлер: 226
@lonahakinyi461510 ай бұрын
I'm that person who will go to an extent of borrowing from mobile lenders to help others. It's been really hard to say No and I always end up stressed when I don't help. I'm learning and unlearning.
@bellaachiengodhiambo609610 ай бұрын
I was like you but this days I lost all of them because of saying no.. Girl you better wake up!! Start saying no and they will dissappear
@EngBMashanga10 ай бұрын
I have learnt, if something is not in my budget, then I can comfortably, guilty free, tell you am not in a position to help. That has helped me a lot.
@mushmorrytv10 ай бұрын
Same here😢
@daphinenamuli756610 ай бұрын
You'll need to develop a thick skin and master to say NO otherwise you'll be depleted
@lonahakinyi461510 ай бұрын
@@daphinenamuli7566 Yeah I'm learning to say No and mean it and be at peace.
@efe30979 ай бұрын
My mother was always concerned about helping people, making them happy and carrying their burdens even most times more than mine. She also had a lot of friends. When she passed away none of the people she cared so much about and served came for her funeral. It made me realize that in this world you should put God first on your life cuz He is the only one who is faithful. After God put yourself first and take care of yourself very well. After yourself if there is any one who genuinely loves you and you can see it in their actions towards you, treat them well too. Be good to all but never play the role of God in people's lives. Also never make it your responsibility to be concerned about the happiness of people that don't care about your own happiness. They have a Creator.
@wanjiruwarutumo93889 ай бұрын
Very true. I figured out early enough not to carry other people's burdens and not feel guilty about it. Ihave no regrets
@estherndungu5909 ай бұрын
Thanks for speaking to me
@derrickmawanda69279 ай бұрын
I’m glad I read this comment
@isabellopes8909 ай бұрын
That’s so sad.
@junic27948 ай бұрын
You may be my twin coz my late mom did exactly this and later 😢😢non of those people she helped appeared to stand with us
@njeriWaKinuthiaCA9 ай бұрын
😮 No wonder in my mid 50s and still have nothing but always working. I have been VERY NICE all through! I wish I heard this 30 years ago 😳
@benjaminzuluglobal9 ай бұрын
It's not late, in 10 years you can do a lot.
@samuelmuriuki45410 ай бұрын
"If the Tables Turn and You Need Help,This People Usually Flee." May God Help Us.
@isabellopes8909 ай бұрын
Yes. Or never have nothing for you.
@josephkiwale3748 ай бұрын
Now days people care for their own family,,,hard to consider relatives problems while his or her own family's problems hit the spot
@nasasirarosette87788 ай бұрын
As i am watching this show, i am thinking about how much other people have taken care of me my whole life. Till now i still find myself running back to the same people for the same kind of need and looking back on how other people have stood up for me, i wonder what it would have been like if they said NO to me. I have not done anything to them to pay back and i know i can not pay back, the only way i see is to pay it forward and thats why i find it so Hard to say NO when i am in position to help. The same people that help me are not the very people i help back😢
@brendanekesa250110 ай бұрын
My take home, YOU CAN NEVER BE A MESSIAH TO EVERYONE SOMETIMES LET THEM SEE YOU AS A DEMON. GROW AND ESTABLISH YOURSELF IN SILENCE. MAJORITY OF THOSE WE HELP HAVE VARIETY OF OPTIONS OF SEEKING HELP. ACTIVATE SELF-LOVE❤ AND YOU WON'T DEPEND ON THEIR TIMELY PRAISES. REMEMBER EVEN THE DEAD ARE PRAISED NOMATTER HOW BAD THEY WERE.
@auntiemylee31578 ай бұрын
🎉🎉🎉
@wawerusarah2519 ай бұрын
A big sister of mine borrowed me small money (200 bob) she got mad when i asked for my money back but never showed me. She thinks my life is easy and i have no business asking for my small money back. Over one year now she doenst talk to me. 😔
@steventhomas67210 ай бұрын
I refused to cry with people coz when it came to my time, I cried alone. Let everyone cry their cry. I don't borrow money. Niliamua kama nitakosa rent na Mungu aninyime,acha nikalale kwa milango ya duka. Nisaidie watu halafu wanitukane. One had the gutts to tell me "tends wema nenda zako" when she gave me a deal ya 9k and took my cut 1500 nikampa the rest, I had to send her all the money, kept nothing...I analyzed that statement and asked myself, on a serious note, what have I been doing here all this time thinking this is my friend? I paid her bills in hospital for two weeks when her family couldn't even show up,today naambiwa niende zangu aftet kutenda wema. Nijikute tena mimi Steve,nijikute!!
@susanmaina620510 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@untamedsafaris500310 ай бұрын
So sorry for that, good thing you've learnt your lesson
@Haustine35079 ай бұрын
Pole sana, but continue helping
@newlymade.87749 ай бұрын
Got that statement too alot.. pole.. it's hurting...
@isabellopes8909 ай бұрын
Just block her.
@heldaojuang450610 ай бұрын
Realy needed this the self importance image, someone was requesting 200 Bob for lunch in the name of "tajiri wangu" in a month l had spend a lot
@monicalewisky492510 ай бұрын
The only thing you didn't mention is my name . Just the other day I took one niece to college without even thinking because of putting myself in her shoe(being an orphan myself and struggling). It's been 8 years of working and earning considerably good amount but with so little to show for it. The biological clock is ticking, I still have to push myself harder .I'm no longer happy with the job and day by day I feel more and more unhappy.I wish I could start a life and a family but I'm somehow stuck on this side. I've seen my brother to university only for him to turn out alcoholic,he's been using me all along . Thanks Benjamin
@consolataogola9769 ай бұрын
Hey, sorry for what you are going through.Hope u find an opening in this season.
@zipporahmwaniki9 ай бұрын
May the good you did to others trace you. I understand you v well but wait God is not blind. What you gave with good heart to help others to be better persons but turned against your generosity, don't regret it. Move on, learn and be focused. It's not all lost
@wanfuda9 ай бұрын
It's never too late to start a fresh
@priscanganga4139 ай бұрын
Its never late
@jacklineachieng113110 ай бұрын
Hehehe i know someone wah! 10k she paid 4k the rest she refused to pay me then i told her not to pay because i was tired of asking her.The next shock was when she came back to me that she needs help her daughter wants to travel abroad,i told here go to the bank that's how our relationship ended and am happy now.People have habits that you wonder what's wrong with them.
@sizjoenaturals18029 ай бұрын
Thank you so much, I have had it enough being nice. I'm done rescuing people. Spend all my twenties attending to other peoples emergencies.... I'm going to recover my life in my 30s.. its sad to work and have nothing for yourself 😢.
@mamawatorotalks82089 ай бұрын
Well done am out here recovering in my 40’s
@7488j9 ай бұрын
You don't have to be nice in this world,you should be KIND. 👌👌👌
@tpmash10 ай бұрын
This clip IS FOR ME!!! ALL OF IT🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@Kobe_2549 ай бұрын
For us living overseas we are the most vulnerable and exploited the best by family members and so called good friends -- I have been a victim of circumstances, paid school fees for the nephews and nieces, remodeling my parents house, paid hospital bills for my dad ... And not mentioning daily support that is uncounted for, things hit hard on me the time I need them help either building my house or telling them am really struggling and need time to help myself too... I became an enemy, niliambiwa--- am throwing blanks that I don't have kids, am stingy, am not responding to take care of my parents, people are building apartments in kenya and i have nothing, honestly i threw the helping keys to the sea and now its myself first not them.. op tjings will turn ut well.. giving people unpaid cash is a no!!😊
@ChrisMonaco20249 ай бұрын
My dear, you're right. Hmm
@jennyrhein30318 ай бұрын
You have described my exact story. ..Am hated but am in peace now.
@auntiemylee31578 ай бұрын
After finishing my mom house on got broke ..Guess what a story for another day as I typing tiz mom chase me out of her compound...but doing well got job they are begging be back
@auntiemylee31578 ай бұрын
@@jennyrhein3031🎉🎉🎉
@puritykm8 ай бұрын
You would have experience that even if you were here in Kenya. It's your nice heart that was being exploited. Stay alert!
@IamJemoh8 ай бұрын
Wah! I thought I was the one being addressed throughout the conversation. Damn! I have been a tap of help for the last 4 years. I have never grown myself. Saying NO has been a hard thing for me. Today onwards, "No, thank you" will be a norm.
@cynthiaomollo97710 ай бұрын
Vice President: Kijana Wamalwa gave so much to his Family. He did not even own a house , the government had to buy a house for the wife who was about to be evicted. N some family members r busy frustrating his kids right now.
@Mama-A10 ай бұрын
Good topic...but on behalf of the gulf team hapo kwa investing in family is a big Noo!!!....they suck everything inabidi useme nlikatwa salary because they drain to the last coin...uzuri pia umesema kuwe na limits..
@Ruthie-eh1we9 ай бұрын
😭😭thank u Lord for saving my life through this message....God bless you sir
@maggiemuhanji808 ай бұрын
Am one person whose learnt that NO is actually a complete sentence. You don't have to be everything to everyone!
@martinjacobtv986410 ай бұрын
I have been unable to quit fuliza whenever I fuliza it's not for myself, society work, matanga, hospital, school fee fundraiser, church building, saving the old days friends, family members even some with more valuables that myself but looks for your intervention.
@armoncakes73189 ай бұрын
Sorry. This happens a lot. I stopped drawing from my savings to "help" others when I realised that they were only "needy" because they were paying loans for their huge investments Investments which I can only dream of. #LenderBeWare
@ruthnancy19899 ай бұрын
My God, this came at the right time, thank you Jesus🙏. I feel so sorry for my Grandpa who was a victim at his peak times & right now life is too tough for him, so sad.
@lornasusanakello99679 ай бұрын
Just recovering, went through this so much . Zulu you are spot on your topics. This one you just didn't mention my name. Thank you so much.
@Zee-qm3vr9 ай бұрын
I need to stop this giving 😢😢😢😢. Nimelipia watu maternity, kuzaa, school fees ya watoi, food for family rent....na mi hata sina mtoto. Am soo tired
@bernicerogo919010 ай бұрын
This is soo deep and relatable..I am a recovering people pleaser Thank you Benjamin for your wise nuggets
@tpmash10 ай бұрын
Me too😢!
@majestympofu58519 ай бұрын
Me too im glad i came across this
@majestympofu58519 ай бұрын
Im glad i came across this. Been too good to people they forget after. I need to change
@catherineellis836510 ай бұрын
Thank you, benjamin. I have learned a lot.i have been one of the nice people you are talking about.never again.
@boazodhiambo660010 ай бұрын
Benjamin,this is the most potent message and education ive received from you since i vegun following you,ill lesrn to control myself going forward! I sort other people's financial issues onetime i forgot to psy my bills only to be awakened by. 40k bill arrears when i tried to ask the people to keep their promises to pay back noone moved! Round hi wataona!
@collettenakabuye91809 ай бұрын
Watching from Uganda at 4:22a.m. What a very educative topic! Learning something.
@sharmaoffial97659 ай бұрын
This is me you are talking about.Thanks so much Benjamin.Its time to think of me.
@janenjoroge8689 ай бұрын
Waah,very dis heartening, for good hearted people,the society need to shape up n take up their crosses,,no one has enough,people are just too selfish n they pretend to be friends,,thanks so much Benjamin n the lady for this enlightenment
@isabellopes8909 ай бұрын
Do not forget that sometimes people will tell you sad stories and play victims, just get help. I’m saying it doesn’t happen, only for that reason. But be careful.
@jamiilamuthoni30829 ай бұрын
Mr.Benjamin your intelligence hits me hard😢i needed to hear these words,giving out has been my order of the day where i never receive back even a sweet!!
@AriseandShine-world6 ай бұрын
It is well my dear. We are many. Even when we don't have people still don't believe we don't have. And we are the specie type of people who don't know how to ask for help.
@jaqueKN9 ай бұрын
You don't know how to feel important unless you are rescuing people😮😮 Help me God I'm tired I can even fail to eat feeding others😢
@virgymuigai22789 ай бұрын
I can relate... learning to say no to people
@KasiTvForKasiTribe6 ай бұрын
I saved this video (watch later) 2months ago😊n today I just felt like I should watch it. Guess what 😋 that's my new resolution from now on. Thanks bro you really nailed it there. I've been giving n giving, I had to run away from people n went to another province to start my own life. God bless you guys✊🏿
@danotieno7499 ай бұрын
Thank you Benjamin, I've learned this when I'm almost 40.
@EngBMashanga10 ай бұрын
This Session For Today Needs To Trend,..👏👏👏 Point, After Point, After Point.👌👌...
@amalaoude537710 ай бұрын
Now i understood i hv problem of being too nice to people, i hv been con by people 😢lend me money i wll pay back, tht moment i will send what i hv,i find myself too making alot of contributions to people,not anymore God knows please I need a heart of stone, no helping anymore
@georginaasantewaa11758 ай бұрын
So so true Benjamin, keep the good work up
@eunicemulwa7329 ай бұрын
I used to take panadols for people 's headaches , thanks to God I outgrew that.
@captainbosingwa722610 ай бұрын
Good advice surely I need to stop being sympathy with people in need every time.
@joannekibeu256610 ай бұрын
Timeless advice, Great value
@tabithagithuka79609 ай бұрын
Thank for speaking directly to me.
@MercyNaomi_10 ай бұрын
I have this problem of being too nice...i have gotten some loans before to help people out and to this day some people have never paid me back and i dont know how to ask for it back 😭😭 i do like helping out tho 🤷🏾♀️ and not for clout. I treat people nice and with kindness because i also want to be treated the same
@daphinenamuli756610 ай бұрын
@mercy not everyone has a heart like you, save your energy
@maryasiko168310 ай бұрын
You just people pleasing my dear .....one day it will backfire on you😢
@user-he5nd4hm7l7 ай бұрын
This man all i can say is God continue to use ,you are like a father i never had ,be blessed Benjamin
@josmag665310 ай бұрын
Benjamin, thank you for the helpful information you share. I am unlearning this nice person trait it's very draining and steals one's confidence. People can walk all over you. Healthy boundaries and self love is a must when dealing with others. Change is as good as a rest.
@nomfaneloroboji61899 ай бұрын
Thank you very much. You are referring to me. You gave me something to think about.
@michellegrace336610 ай бұрын
Yes Mr Zulu you need to talk about finances in both family and friends
@puritykm8 ай бұрын
Thanks so much for this priceless advise. It's sad I didn't know this early enough 😢. Now it's time to live. thrive and flourish🎉
@jorumkaranja1179 ай бұрын
Where had you not taught me this long ago bein in a foreign land makes them think I have alot n been giving but sai nijikute tena.thanks much
@nancymwende374810 ай бұрын
Thank you for this.❤❤ God bless you
@AriseandShine-world6 ай бұрын
Awesome session with a lot of wisdom. Mr. Zulu, there are also those family you will labour hard and give everything and even go extra mile. And when you no longer have to give. No one believes you. Even when you are dying
@hannahwanjiru112910 ай бұрын
Great topic!!! have learnt so much
@mazikode669710 ай бұрын
"I am taking that child!!!" 😅😅
@joy_wendo9 ай бұрын
I'm a victim. KZbin suggested this for me 😂😂😂But honestly last night I went to bed thinking about how to start being selfish and save the small monies I always give out just like that.
@wangui00119 ай бұрын
Mother Teresa Syndrome… huko niliokoka, sitarudi tena! 😅 weh! Learnt boundaries the hard way. “No” is a whole sentence.
@lolguy-x9n9 ай бұрын
Good for you. We learned it the hard way too.
@carolcarolyn89289 ай бұрын
Thankyou for saving me from some almost sticky shitty situation.
@eunicewekesa45959 ай бұрын
Thanks so much this message was someone like me, being nice😢
@ednakiplagat61439 ай бұрын
Thank you Benjamin.Since i started following you,my life improved so much .i think i should start paying fees
@benjaminzuluglobal9 ай бұрын
Thank you 😊 just buy the books and sign up for our conferences. You'll have supported us and also invested in yourself. Benjaminzuluglobal.com
@antonymwangi605210 ай бұрын
This is me into dimensions nilikuwa na ombwa sasa nini mi naomba nikiombwa😢😢 I thin i need more than deliverance 😢😢
@risperkubai84318 ай бұрын
Some Families are toxic. So if it means you helping those homeless children so do it. Family, can be the best gift or the worst nightmare. Don't compare families. This topic is very informative and important to everyone who cares to listen. Thanks for sharing
@cynthiaomollo97710 ай бұрын
Making Friends is a good and important topic. Thanks Lily😊
@lilliangithui9 ай бұрын
Karibu😊
@janemugwiria984610 ай бұрын
you have helped me for real.i have changed
@geraldchege583510 ай бұрын
Superb one ..kudos
@carolina215810 ай бұрын
This is me 😢also am in the situation where by I have to provide for a parent who is capable of working but won't all in the name of she don't want to be employed
@susanmaina620510 ай бұрын
😂😂😂kutumiwa vibaya
@SyrianSanguli9 ай бұрын
Toxic parents
@isabellopes8909 ай бұрын
Tell her your living home soon
@josephinejumba992310 ай бұрын
Great advice have learned alot
@catherinekwamboka20658 ай бұрын
Thank so much you have helped me understand more
@newlymade.87749 ай бұрын
This is me, i will deny myself to give to others, i will put my problems aside to listen to others..but when it comes to my time most do you dirt yet you were were there for them without expecting anything in return but atlst was good for them to be good to me. Am too patient and nice to people and since there is rare reciprocation i have ended up with resentment...juzi a frd i helped so much turned the tables on me n even insulted me coz now she has money n i dont yet l asked for nothing from her but a shoulder to lean on.
@apriliacess80539 ай бұрын
Thankyou.l noticed when l relocated to another Country that we 'kenyans' never learned boundary.
@MercyNaomi_10 ай бұрын
Learnt alot from this session
@elizakimeu35169 ай бұрын
On Point!!! Thank you
@serahnjuhi1109 ай бұрын
wow.... thank you for this
@passionateforjesus40199 ай бұрын
This is not a coincidence that I come to this channel. I am a nice person unlearning certain belief system. Thank you Benjamin Zulu
@moshemitchel41569 ай бұрын
Thank you Benjamin.
@Farmingisgood10 ай бұрын
Thank you Benjamin God bless you Asante sana uncle
@carolinekendi399910 ай бұрын
Woww lily as a host is just amazing for this show...so engaging and participative..I love it...am learning alot from you sir..keep going please 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💝💝💝💝🔥🔥🔥
@lilliangithui9 ай бұрын
Thank you so much ❤
@charleswachira738610 ай бұрын
Thank you Benjamin Zulu for this insightful advise 👏 👍 🙏 🙌
@carolcarolyn89289 ай бұрын
Just as am listening.....'hi teacher nimejaribu kilajia nairobi siwezani njaa itanimalizia hapa' ... This is a guy we worked together in a home. It has been like this for years. Now i know better.
@junic27948 ай бұрын
God sent Man BZ may God bless you ❤
@divineinfinity106010 ай бұрын
Timely Timely....takers never have limits indeed...
@kamboa18 ай бұрын
That’s true some people invest big on their nices ; nephews and left over for their own children, what you call this act!
@Carolynmurungikamakune8 ай бұрын
Wow… thanks for this wisdom
@SharoneMarion9 ай бұрын
As from now I'm changing ......I'm done Thank you BZ
@Janebartunen8 ай бұрын
Very eye opening I told my friend ww should have a foundation and setaside an amount for these kind of charity
@IryneChumbs8 ай бұрын
Thank you Zulu, you are so right, Joshua selman said he had taken care of so many problems untill one day he saw a pic of Jesus on the cross thats when it dawned on him that he never died for anyone Jesus did and thats when he decided he needs to ne going for vacation.i need to stop being nice too
@CarImporters9 ай бұрын
I like the conclusion. We love you Benjamin
@eunicemulwa7329 ай бұрын
I love this .
@maryasiko168310 ай бұрын
You not alone 😅😅 jipende aki
@tropicalservices9 ай бұрын
Why are you discussing me on TV? Who else feel he is the target? From now on I am no longer a lender but will refer😂
@annishkim51708 ай бұрын
Thankyou very important
@stephenkiarie50879 ай бұрын
We learn everyday. Waah you have talked to me.
@mercymacharia44659 ай бұрын
Thankyou Benjamin,Godbless
@irenepi95839 ай бұрын
🎉🎉🎉yes yes yes Zulu you're a star....
@prossiejames21289 ай бұрын
Am a victim but trying to heal from this
@joycemwangi945210 ай бұрын
Thanks mr
@jackmutua53088 ай бұрын
Taking care of your child is not a task but love
@michaelmarlow67899 ай бұрын
I believe the church plays a bigger role of us being extra nice by asking us to think of others highly than ourselves
@emmanueligwe86969 ай бұрын
The bible is clear about this. After you love God with all your heart, soul, might and strength, you then love your neighbor as you love yourself. If I love myself to cut back at self gratification just to save up for a better life, to avoid being a burden to anyone, then I will expect same from you. If I don't pity myself, I won't pity you. If I must give it must be to someone who has also met my discipline of living. Whether it is to a church or an individual. Again when there's a moving/prompting/leading of the HolySpirit, on that I'm a servant.
@annewenjiku-oc8bk10 ай бұрын
So educative
@uwinezahope23429 ай бұрын
😂takers will always see something to take In whatever case,I think taking them off may work,though I don't know how!
@Pamela-nn7zi10 ай бұрын
Now what do we to am in that habits of giving to help than my self 😢