Nick Mullen's Childhood

Chess, Cumtown, Nick Mullen, Stavros Halkias, Adam Friedland, TAFS, The Adam Friedland Show
/ cumtown

[@Garbageman28]

“It never fucked me up” - Nick “Perfectly Normal and Sane” Mullen

[@kareem9167]

Nick tells story about getting molested and stav explodes in laughter

[@ostsweinen5240]

hell yeah dude

[@ehlani6677]

Respect

[@TechnoSinister]

But don't tell Stav his eating is going to kill him

[@GaziRahman-rt2ep]

Male friendships are beautifully complicated

[@GaigeGrosskreutzGunClub]

@@TechnoSinister he has laughed before at that so I guess it depends on how gay he's feeling

[@squigpeels.1021]

Nick retelling the time the popular kid at school ruined computer monitors with a magnet and blamed it on him.

[@Wanup_Vodka]

"I don't want to talk about it anymore" :(

[@spinningchurro]

At least Nick didn’t turn into an abuser himself like a lot of other victims of child abuse.

[@ohlookitsbryan]

@@spinningchurro you don’t know that. He talked about being in play places in McDonald’s and would try to put other girls feet in his mouth. And that’s only what he’s admitted.

[@soanywayistartedblastin8463]

​@@ohlookitsbryan as a child.. You must be a retard or something

[@GaziRahman-rt2ep]

My best friend is much cooler than I expected

[@MikeOcksmallClips]

@@spinningchurroimagine thinking Nick isn’t for starters a bully and abuser 😂

[@yujiruffhanma3095]

Nick's manager, concerned and worried: "did you steal?" Nick, with the sunniest disposition he could possible have: "...yeah!"

[@TehMr]

Yemen!

[@philbuttler3427]

Nick was like one wrong decision away from giving pick and poke tattoos in a mental health prison.

[@RM_1917]

PICK and poke???? Wtf????

[@Max-zv8hm]

@@RM_1917AHHHHH!!!! Another horrifying reality REVEALED!!!! 😂😂😂🎉

[@Mr_Boifriend]

Stick n poke, my cracka Just a little insight for a fellow gay man

[@chilibeer3912]

I’ll stick and poke him with my little pricadel

[@orfeo793]

"I was just learning how magnets worked" lol, great cutoff to that story

[@weedtaco1443]

Nick was sexually assaulted at least twice. The older kid and the guy who gave him a ride when he moved to LA

[@rp1455]

was that second one real?

[@PoopyStevens]

Farout I only vaguely remember the LA story does anyone have a link or ep number

[@jigglypuff3311]

He did a stand up bit about it that's one of the best bits Ive ever heard

[@68able2]

i can never find that clip ive only heard it once i even used like the tafs metadata word search thingy

[@jackdawson5490]

My friend nick mullen is always getting up to no good

[@JohnSmith-wl7gf]

Nick is kind of a dark soul....thinking about suicide all the time, living in a box in New York, spending years drinking, molested by another kid as a child. Jesus. Kind of reflects poorly on me for listening to this

[@No1hyp0cr1te]

Yeah, it makes you look like a gay guy

[@calebp3283]

gay

[@alexnorth3393]

True. He's gay though so that helps.

[@chilibeer3912]

Yeah dude. This totally reveals how absolutely shitty you are and I can’t believe you are a fan

[@HC-qc5rp]

One of my science teachers in high school started the year off with a PowerPoint about herself. The finale was dedicated to her miscarried daughter and she started crying. Presumably she’d done this many years before and would do it a few more times that day for her other classes, so I don’t know what her problem was.

[@smokedoutpositivesquad1738]

Lol

[@mrscruffles801]

Sounds like she really wanted attention

[@coomr419]

😂

[@Robin-uu6eg]

Lmfao

[@over8124]

I've heard the bad kid segment at least 30 times now

[@FullmetalSP1]

Everything after finding out he got molested is irrelevant.

[@FloridaCactus]

I like how that song is just the cumtown clip theme song now

[@xiopia3940]

What's the song

[@tekkenchampion832]

So funny the song plays with no end slate like the video it's ripped from. Just one fucking gay boring game of chess

[@FloridaCactus]

@@xiopia3940 I forgot, find one of the og cip channels, maybe Nicholas Obama or Steven seagull? They used the same song and they creditied the artist.

[@andrewwilliams9887]

I like the way you move

[@hals6118]

@@FloridaCactus i’m pretty sure they just ripped part of the slip from a SS upload lol

[@austinsavage5962]

Nick having a fake argument with a hypothetical teacher is funny as fuck

[@goblinPing]

I can nowsee why Nick doesn’t believe in professional therapy. He created his own therapy medium by projecting here-and-there on the pod w/ his jokes. It’s like he thinks that if it’s in a joke form, it would be hard to relate to him since he has the “it’s just a joke lmaoooo maybe you’re projecting” defense mechanism. I hope he doesn’t kill himself…😕☹️. Bro follows the same vibe as Bourdain….idk I’m rambling now. I’m gay and autistic.

[@cornbabyproductions]

Didn't have to say you we're gay and autistic, it was implied

[@SpiritOfMontgomery]

Dw. I get what you’re saying:). That’s kind of what I do myself tbh. Also autistic and gay

[@bigpictureguys8415]

It’s a chicken S*** move imo

[@sugarhigh4242]

"bad kid" could 100% be a Comedy Central show.

[@AJ1990.]

You're definitely right. If they cast the kid right. A kid who has that little bastard look. It would kill

[@mrscruffles801]

I would watch that

[@likemy]

Adam Friedland: "That [girl getting molested] is hilarious"

[@noobslayer1196]

it is

[@PuddingAtheist]

one time after telling a relevant story about my childhood to my therapist his response to me was "yeah but kids have sex all the time" It was one of the most shockingly retarded and therefore funniest sentences anyone has ever said to me in my life.

[@Severian_of_the_Guild]

Hiarious, or hot Adam? I'm on to you

[@jakeklutts864]

23:50 The manager that liked nick always sticks out during my CT relistens

[@CMike44]

How have I never heard that second story about Nick

[@anthonyalexander6266]

Old episode

[@levitation2114]

Nick and stav seem to project A LOT lmao

[@goblinPing]

Oooohhh the classwic you’w prowjecting agwuement

[@Digitally-Cirkumzysed]

@@goblinPingexactly what a projector might say

[@thebargainbin6020]

Nick needs to just take that leap and tell all his stories on stage. He’s a good story teller like Theo but he never puts these stories on stage. Go on stage and tell the story about seeing your dad jack off it will kill

[@booognish]

That leap frog story with his uncle?

[@shaftmonkey]

He’s so much funnier than Theo too

[@thebargainbin6020]

@@shaftmonkey I consider them comparable honestly. Both are like top 5 for me in terms of how much they have made me laugh over the years. It would just be nice to see Nick get more recognition. I think he’d like that even though he wouldn’t ever admit it

[@gallusdomesticus5478]

His standup is decent but his stories and impressions have literally made me pull over into a parking lot because I was crying laughing.

[@supwititproductionz3738]

@@gallusdomesticus5478 his impressions off the cuff are criminally underrated

[@BIacklce]

nick sure did know a lot of mal-adjusted kids in his youth.

[@nono9543]

Poor Nick was so molested

[@dobfeldman5026]

If we’re cutting and pasting, are you going to cut yourself and eat pastries

[@dumbsathanass8669]

You forgot the story where he disapeared in the mall with a stranger

[@PoopyStevens]

What

[@dumbsathanass8669]

yep, its on an episode somewhere. He goes on to say , "i have this spotty memory of disappearing at a dept store w/ a stranger, and my mom being really angry when she found me..."@@PoopyStevens

[@thecaptain6520]

​@@dumbsathanass8669 "I don't believe in repressed memories." - Nick Mullen

[@balladofthebroken7569]

I wanna see a remake of The Butterfly Effect but with Nick instead of Ashton Kutcher

[@rickredmanwallart1766]

Stav's stories (in this case the pregnant teacher knocking out a child) always feel like lies that he makes up on the fly

[@kaxmo69]

i used to listen to the pod a lot and thought he was funny, after some years i’m coming to the same realization that he’s maybe .1% funnier than his fat compatriot Bert Kreischer

[@cowboygeorge5056]

They are

[@tonyreyes3780]

Then you probably aren’t familiar with how batshit insane the Baltimore public school systems are. Especially during the 90s

[@thelokifiles]

He is a lying POS.

[@SkeletonWord]

I'm inclined to believe him on this one considering he was in the Baltimore city school system. A visual aid that may help you understand is to search "Baltimore Walmart/McDonald's/Popeye's fight".

[@harrysachz6395]

The Bad Kid described here is basically Kenard from the Wire but is white and has glasses

[@JammerAma]

"Hitting for the Mullen cycle" is one of my favorite jokes on this entire gay show that I watch because I'm also gay

[@arealbigboss]

"it never fucked me up"

[@Cardboard-Tree]

Stolen valour! Had me tears😂

[@R33fth3b33f]

The bad kid perfectly describes my youngest brother. Hes a asshole and has zero filter and is stupid smart.

[@mrscruffles801]

So he's an autist

[@paradopx8618]

So nicks always got that 90s serial killer vibe then? Lol

[@Mclean824]

stav can’t lie for shit what even was that pregnant teacher story 😭

[@thanksyoutubefortakingmyhandle]

we used to steal all those balls from the mouse in the computer lab / library hahah computers were just unusable after that

[@CartersRemasters]

Mullen is awesome.

[@yeomanbasket]

“Shitty Kid” is what Dennis the Menace should’ve been. “Mr. Wilsonnn didn’t your friend from the war get his legs blown off and die slowly in front of you? What was that like Mr. Wilson?”

[@Fauwkes]

“Excuse me Mr Wilson? Isn’t it true you called a napalm strike on a village? And you didn’t even know if Charlie was there? What was that like?

[@jonvia]

As gay as Nick is as an adult, I knew his childhood would be quite gay as well. In fact, as a kid Nick's real name was Jonathan.

[@levitation2114]

Is that true

[@mikeystir3333]

this aged crazy

[@drinkinouttacups2665]

Why that nigga

[@robbanuelos741]

This was prime era CTown

[@BlastinRope]

what game is that

[@ericwhatley5831]

*MiNDKRaFT*

[@BruhMayne]

not checkers

[@sbz666_]

That realization you were the Derek/Jonathan in school...

[@lindboknifeandtool]

I see so much norm Macdonald in comedians these days. He lives!!!!!

[@johnstory2996]

They call it a dirt nap

[@lilpukey]

Sounds gay to me

[@weedtaco1443]

I wonder what norm is up to these days?

[@joceyno]

My first grade teacher threw a chair, because we had a shitty kid in our class. This was the 80’s, so that shit was considered perfectly normal back then. But I remember it landed two feet from where my friends and I were sitting. I still remember my parent’s reaction to me telling them what happened. A few phone calls were made in private that night. Haha the best part? He didn’t leave the school/retire until I graduated from college. I’m convinced he had pictures of someone.

[@wshuff]

nick looks like lorne malvo on the thumbnail

[@clipsamuraii]

always figured nick is the one gaming while they talk

[@Scrumdawgrizzillionaire]

In like 5th or 6th grade I had this history teacher who was like 29 but had gray hair and male pattern balding and he had this vase on his desk that was from Egypt that his fiancée got him and I accidentally brushed it when I walked by his desk. He had it on the fucking edge of the desk in an elementary school class what does he expect? It spun around on the edge of the desk and then just dropped off and shattered and this eccentric history teacher who tried too hard to be cool all the time just went red in the face. He straight up looked like he was gonna punch me in the face. Then he paced super hard across the classroom and back and just put his hands on his head. Then sat down and fucking started weeping. I was just standing there like “holy fuck”. He told us all to sit down and we just basically waited out the rest of class. Nothing ended up happening because the school probably said “why did you have a precious vase on the edge of a desk in a classroom?”. Guy was pretty pathetic he tried to be tough on me the rest of the year as revenge… on a 5th grader.

[@Peef_Spogdar]

I can’t believe this “Biden” guys been talking like that since the VP days

[@Peef_Spogdar]

@@TheCrusher72 you never heard of this Biden guy??

[@Peef_Spogdar]

@@TheCrusher72 incoherent prattle huh. Someone thinks pretty high of themselves don’t they

[@WeedGuyMike]

how do we live in peace

[@tonyreyes3780]

The shitty kid premise is basically Dooley from King of the Hill

[@saferabies]

Seems like those kids had fun playing Titanic

[@coomr419]

2:33

[@PoopyStevens]

stolen valour

[@spennysatdennys8143]

Alright!

[@jakeklutts864]

3:25 😂

[@stevelibby6852]

Hey gays. What's up? Gay stuff?

[@cobra050]

Fine

[@mattk1631]

Always brother

[@garrgravarr]

Heaps

[@sayLeotardbutsayitChinese]

I'm fucking gay as shit

[@hiiipowerbass2337]

Shit, nicks life seems tame

[@zehsackett6132]

Photoshop nicks head onto a child's body

[@M3TaGh0sStT]

I forgot about adams laugh

[@DerelictCountry]

what's the song at the end?

[@HC-qc5rp]

Ekoth Desert - Demo

[@kxkxkxkx]

Now we know how Nick turned gay 😚

[@radricdavis8508]

Jack Black would be so funny

[@vilentman111]

nick used to be really cringe sometimes. 'bad kid' was just embarrassing.

[@lilpukey]

Cool fedora gaybo

[@jjgeoffphhcinkkllee]

Guess you can't relate, perfect-childhood-having dork.

[@Toxodos]

what do you mean, that's what's funny about this whole thing. It's a guy who's simultaneously a garbage human being at the rotten core, while being extraordinaly intelligent, funny and charismatic. Even understands finer moral points, but only so he can condemn people better.

[@Toxodos]

like that's the whole show, it's funny sure, but even the funny largely comes with a dose of antisocial

[@calebmalpin6926]

Thumbnail is my favorite picture of Nick Mullen but I'm straight so nevermind

[@Max-zv8hm]

Lmao jeeeez

[@TimoshiKami]

Lmao i did the same thing but to random peoples TVs

[@yojeli]

That's pretty gay

[@TimoshiKami]

@@yojeli Aww you mad because your dad beat you for a broken TV?

[@Garrett1240]

Respect

[@null7879]

Hell yea dude

[@TimoshiKami]

@@null7879 lmao the best feeling is them not knowing it was me