Nightwatching/Rembrandt's J'Accuse - Brows Held High (NSFW)

Original Upload Date: 5/29/2013
In a double feature review, Kyle goes abroad to talk about the mysteries of the Rembrandt Code.
All third party clips are used under Fair Use.
Follow me on Twitter: / kylekallgren
Tumblr: / actuallykylekallgren
Or see my archive on Chez Apocalypse: chezapocalypse.com/series/brow...
You can support the channel on Patreon: / kkallgren

[@dannytheman1313]

So born in DC, raised in the Netherlands, and currently lives in New York, Kyle has lived a very interesting life.

[@samuelesalvatico7259]

the Take On Me music with the line drawing filter was a touch of class

[@rodefshalom]

I am totally down for a BHH episode about RoboCop! Who's with me?

[@ChickenGeorgeClooney]

Nah. I like learning about movies I haven't heard of from Kyle or movies that I've heard of but no one has ever talked about, like Myra Breckenridge or Forbidden Zone.

[@cremetangerine82]

He newest video of his does mention “Robocop”!

[@captainnesan]

I don't start giggle until Kyle tells the audience to stop giggling. Only feels slightly less childish then giggling at the name.

[@patadams7282]

How interesting it would have been if Kyle had reviewed "The Human Centipede" for this Dutch-centric episode.

[@CasaiAgicap]

+Pat Adams There was that time he did a review of A Serbian Film, although that was back when his show had a rather different format (much more oriented toward riffing than discussion), so I don't know if it would make sense for him to review Human Centipede at this point.

[@ChickenGeorgeClooney]

You could discuss Human Centipede. It's surprisingly more than just gore porn. I don't exactly know what, but I'm not as smart as Kyle. He'd be able to find something.

[@UberMan5000]

It's not like it's the only time he's ever done a geek show movie. A Serbian Film is most obvious, but some of us no-doubt have trouble shaking the memories of Zardoz, Sweet Movie, and Vase de Noches. Still, like someone pointed out, that was in an older format of this show. He's not as interested in geekfests as he used to be, and really, just about the only thing Human Centipede wants is for you to watch it and discuss it, in spite of yourself.

[@Nagoragama]

"So Banninck Cocq and van Ruytenburch are Gay Roman Satan and Horny Pimp Jesus." May be my favorite line from any of your reviews. This is one of my favorite videos of yours!

[@cremetangerine82]

My favorite quote is Kyle calling “A Birth of a Nation” as “a three-hour hate crime”. True and darkly funny, as an African American woman film fan who has had the “brilliance” of this movie explained to me by others.

[@bokkodo1]

When "stop giggling" is what makes you realize and you giggle xD

[@madameversiera]

I can't stop laughing after the Sherlock Rembrandt gif, my goodness

[@baileybussiere5216]

Greeneway had a lot of trouble saying "j'accuse". It sounded like he said "z'accuse".

[@mildetryth]

"The Dutch fans will eat this up" - OH YEAH WE DO

[@GLAASJEMELC]

mildetryth yeah we do! GEZELLIIGGGG

[@Doornenstroom]

Probably a bit late to be posting this on a video from 2015, but one of my favourite Dutch movies is Karakter (English title: Character). It is about a very toxic father-son relationship, where the father tries to destroy his son in the hopes of making him strong, and the son tries to destroy his father in the hopes that he will finally accept him. Pretty dark stuff, but very well made.

[@alfje5492]

Jan Decleir is, as always, formidable in Karakter and having won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, I'm hoping it reached a large(r) audience than most Dutch/Flemish movies.

[@moviehoofd]

As a Dutch fan, i am very impressed with this video! never would have guessed you had such a big link with this country!

[@ConvincingPeople]

The logical answer to the Dutch film question, for me at least, is Spoorloos, or The Vanishing.

[@buckleygeneration]

I love this episode.

[@BendeLeijster]

Discovered your channel this eek and binged most of it already and suddenly this video... where it turns out you hung out at the same place as me when i was a teenager, young adult. Good memories about zeekantje

[@SUZE.]

And to think I became a fan before I knew you had connections to the Dutch :D Leuk dat je de taal nog steeds een beetje kent. En het verklaard plotseling ook heel goed jouw liefde voor kunst en cultuur.

[@caitlinerickson7355]

I think I'm going with "Greenawegian"

[@danielallen3454]

Same.

[@Sunrise-hj3yx]

Wat een geweldige video :) It's so cool that you have such ties to the Netherlands, and yes I loved you trying to speak Nederlands. The 'g' is hard for non native speakers

[@sirrliv]

I tried watching "J'accuse" based on this video, but had to turn it off after only 30 minutes. My main issue, apart from knowing that all of Greenaway's accusations being nonsense, was Greenaway's tone throughout the narrative; he is so dismissive and condescending to the audience that his points come off more as insults. Why should I, for pleasure, listen to a smug ass spout nonsense theories and lament his own superiority and the rest of the world's inability to understand art in the right way, which is of course his way?

[@TulseLuper]

+sirrliv The film is not meant to be taken literally.

[@CasaiAgicap]

+sirrliv I think that's just how he talks

[@Sigmundfruit]

+TulseLuper like hell it isn't

[@TulseLuper]

Robert Pysh It isn't. Read any interview with him. One quote reads, "I think Rembrandt would have been amused by this film." Greenaway made the conspiracy up.

[@Serraphyst1]

may I suggest "greenwegian", styled after the norway/norwegian split

[@Kuroukaze]

I come back to this video regularly because I love this as an example of Squall Is Dead high end theory-hilarity.

[@TooFatTooFurious]

I cant wait to see that Prosperos books video

[@JustAwesomeT]

He already made it, but it was on Blip, which shut down last year. So to see it, we just have to wait for Kyle or someone else to re- upload it

[@ShootingStarNeo]

"Haha, no." I rewound that moment to see the visual gag and was disappointed it wasn't Discworld.

[@Inlelendri]

ShootingStarNeo Thank you! I had the exact same thought and I’m glad I wasn’t alone in that. :)

[@wess9900]

If it makes you feel any better the Rijksmuseum seems to have buried any mention of this movie. ALSO I HAVE BEEN TO THE I AMSTERDAM SIGN SINCE I LAST SAW THIS VIDEO AND THAT MAKES ME SO WEIRDLY HAPPY

[@dechha1981]

I think I’ve been drawing in Rembrandt lighting for years without realising it. It’s a relatively simple way to create the illusion of 3D; pick a spot, decide that’s where all the light in the room is coming from, shade everything that’s facing away from that spot and, if it’s metal or leather or something, highlight anythinfacing towards that spot. It does not suprise me at all that it was invented by a painter but named by a live action director. a 2D artist might not even realise he’s doing anything odd, whereas a live action director has to set up the entire room especially to create the same effect. The reverse is true of Sitcom lighting. In live action; like make sure there’s enough light bulbs everywhere to see everything; boom! Done. But in 2D art, to re-create that, you either don’t shade anything at all, or figure out how the hell to create multiple different shadows on the same object to create the illusion of multiple light sources.

[@jaydee4697]

All the little angels rise up, rise up- whoops, wrong Night Watch.

[@Sigmundfruit]

I would be very happy if i found that Van Gogh fangirls were an actual thing

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

+Robert Pysh There probably are, ever since he showed up in that episode of Doctor Who.

[@SabciaGraal]

+KyleKallgrenBHH SO TRUE.

[@gregorsamsa9264]

+KyleKallgrenBHH I personally do prefer Van Gogh to Rembrandt, but that's consistent for me. I've always enjoyed the more expressionistic stuff. (I know that he was a post-impressionist, but I mean more generally a focus on visceral and personal imagery over realism. That's why I'm a Blake fanboy.)

[@gregorsamsa9264]

+KyleKallgrenBHH Also, there's a great Atlantic article about our changing perceptions of art, from Craftsman to mad genius to professional scholar to artisan again. I forget it's title, but it's really interesting.

[@ChickenGeorgeClooney]

Just go to Tumblr and you'll find fangirls for almost anything.

[@theweinmeyerrepublic1097]

I wonder if Greeneway called it J'accuse as a refference to the scandalous expose on the Dreyfuss affair of the same name.

[@denolaj]

So you're actually a closer neighbour than I thought! Groeten uit Vlaandren! Nu Rubens! LoL

[@HellbirdIV]

Rembrandt, the greatest Dutch painter of all time... was born in a windmill? Please tell me that's accurate, because it sounds like something Tiny Toons would do for a gag.

[@femoman]

Thanks for letting me know about the Rijksmuseum Kyle! My gf and her friends have been planning a trip to Amsterdam sometime in the next year or two, and I've been looking for things to look at, so we wouldn't end up just endlessly trawling the 'coffee' shops and red light district, as their current plan seems to be. Any other recomendations?

[@shawn6669]

That Sherlock GIF made me spit my drink through my nose. Just sayin.

[@diegolatruwe6444]

Your accent is actually pretty great! But to add something to the discussion: I think J'accuse could be used as a manual to read the rest of his oeuvre, which is full of over the top symbolism leading nowhere and, as you already said in the video, beautiful imagery taking priority over everything else.

[@schleichnaldo]

Borgman (2013) by Alex van Warmerdam would be a great Dutch movie for you to review on this show.

[@gregorsamsa9264]

6:21 How about Greenawayesque?

[@thebookworm1997]

Greenaway has a FANTASTIC voice

[@philipdetombe7054]

if you're looking for Dutch films for this show, the films of Alex van Warmerdam could be a possibility. Not saying they're the greatest films ever, but for this show they are probably sufficiently weird, good for a joke, and out of the mainstream.

[@TheYellowGoggles]

Hi there, Kyle. I was just wondering if you've ever seen/heard of a movie called The Fall. I'm not usually into "art films" (for various reasons), but this one is actually one of my favorite films of all time. It's one of those "thinker movies" that actually has meaning behind its symbolism (but doesn't shove it in your face). It's also beautifully shot (and the costuming is incredible), cycles through moments of both the adorable and heartbreaking variety and I think beautifully captures how children see the world. I've never seen anyone talk about this movie and next to no one seems to have heard of it, so I thought I'd toss it your way. Keep up the amazing work!

[@TheYellowGoggles]

Oh man, thank you! I'm gonna go hunt for it now. :D

[@tatehildyard5332]

I went back to said video and he described it as "Bend over backwards, leave your home and job and all that makes you happy high bouncing gold hatted lasso around the moon and get stabbed by an iron raver just see a smile on her sweet face, gorgeous!"

[@Prometheus8999]

This movie is ICONIC GREENAWAY STANS UNITE

[@brandyloutherback9288]

You could comment on Girl with a Pearl Earring a fictional account of a maid who sat for arguably one of Johannes Vermeer's most famous paintings "Girl With a Pearl Earring" created in 1665.

[@pinkcloudsnightlightbell]

Aw this opening sequence, y’alls family is cute!

[@Prometheus8999]

“Useless plot about Vermeer…” I would re-evaluate that statement, don’t come for Z+00 🤣🤣🤣 . No shade, just happy to see a video on one of my favs🧚🏻‍♀️❤️ love ur videos!

[@NightmareLyra]

Honestly, an episode about the Human Centipede movies could be really interesting, as each movie seems to be made based on the audience reaction to the first. HC1 being a cheesy slasher film, but people called it the most disgusting movie ever, so HC2 was made to be the most disgusting movie possible, and when people said it was artless dreck HC3 was made as a artless exploitation movie.

[@nocturnGER]

I hope you smuggled all the Vla Pudding you could legally carry back overseas, Kyle. I sure do whenever I visit Holland

[@djstarsign]

Well done sir 😆

[@toverkleet]

Dont worry Kyle your dutch was pretty damn good... wait you lived in NL? :o my sweat flat home of mine? :p ps Rutger Hauer is very dutch ;)

[@kwaksea]

Man... I mixed this one with Emil Zola's J' Accuse

[@duffman18]

Wasn't the night watch painting restored, and it turns out all this time it was a day-time painting, and the varnish had just darkened so much that it made it look like it was night-time?

[@guidokreeuseler9566]

If you're looking for a Dutch movie that may fit your show: The Flying Dutchman (de vliegende hollander) made in 1995. It's set in the Dutch Golden age, references an old seafarer's myth, has some pretty weird (and also beautiful) imagery and has a great cast of Dutch and Flemish actors. It's actually in the top 100 of best movies of the 20th century in the book "making pictures: A century of European cinematography" (2003), so really worth a look. also, it begins with a surprising Zardoz reference in relation to the Dutch Iconoclasm (Beeldenstorm). Just watch ;)

[@oddanderson9131]

lol I would love to see Kyle do a review of Robocop

[@miraclemanoutoftime]

Does anyone know what Kyle says at 16:56? "If you look closely, you can see a celluoid?"

[@rafmeinster]

Sail boat.

[@l.l.j.rouwet]

I know a movie; 'de lift'. There's also an american version of the movie made years later

[@kevinvanveen3260]

Why doesn't he have more subs

[@legofanguyvid]

if you say stop giggling Im only going to giggle even more hehehe ^W^

[@McNoat]

Ben X, a film about an MMO obsessed young male, is Dutch and probably the only Dutch film I ever watched.

[@brunilda12]

oh Kyle I love your videos. But where is your first shakespeare month? and I wish I could see the beatles one again...

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

+brunilda12 The Beatles one is currently not viewable in the US due to copyright problems, but the first Shakespeare Month is viewable in its entirety on this channel. Check my playlists!

[@brunilda12]

+KyleKallgrenBHH hey! Thanks for answering! Merry christmass! But I ment the kenneth branagh one. That shakespeare song...priceless!

[@estopasowner]

Now I understand where his pretentiousness comes from.

[@LethargicScientist]

I mean... You could talk about the Human Centipede as an allegory for WWII?

[@louiswolf8688]

isnt let the right one in originally made in the Netherlands?

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

Sweden.

[@louiswolf8688]

Yea, I looked that up after I commented. Should've removed this or made a follow up comment...but then I wouldn't have your response. Thank you for commenting Kyle, big fan. If I may, a recommendation for the future if you have not seen it, The legend of 1900.

[@ThAlEdison]

Greenawegian

[@tomasstitny2275]

I like this channel and the quality of analysis here is way higher than it usually can be found in so called "video essays". but this video was a little bit disappointing. I see that Kyle is fond of Rembrandt and history of fine arts but this double feature is a work of Peter Greenaway in the first place. and it fits perfect to the ideas he developed in his movies from '00s which are quite different from his "classic" works from 1980s. 3 years before "Nightwatching" he released a large mockumentary called "The Tulse Luper Suitcases", a 6-hour visually stunning biography of never existed person - and at the very end of the movie it turned out that Tulse Luper never existed even in the world of this movie - he died at young age and his whole life was imagined by his friend (again, this thing is discovered after more than 5 hours of the movie!) This was a total trolling and a great question about our belief to narrative. "Rembrandt: J'accuse!" is quite the same thing: it's YOUR problem that you believe (or even listen carefully) to the stuff which this "expert" tells you, these theories should contradict each other to compromise the text (or the plot or the sense coming from narrative) and to praise the image which always goes before any text. and "biographical" movies (later Greenaway shot movies about Goltzius and Eisenstein and I'm looking forward to his newest work about Brancusi) are built on the same unlikeness, I guess we should take them as beautiful Greenaway-ish studies or stories where the real people and places are just the fuel for unleashed fantasy. and despite their historical inaccuracy, these movies about great artists bring us the atmosphere of Rembrandt's painting or Goltzius engravings or Eisenstein's avant-garde carnival nature very well.

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

Yeah, there's a reason I haven't posted any videos older than this one. I was still finding myself as a writer, and still trying to break the old habit of writing primarily for the joke instead of the insight.

[@tomasstitny2275]

And you really did the great job! Your channel is perhaps the best among the channels about cinema and the essays about King Lear and Ran are truly awesome.

[@Foxpawed]

The jokes were still excellent, though. I'm sad I didn't nab more of them when you reupped them for patrons before they inevitably got eaten by youtube bots, I used to love leaving the blip playlist running in the background.

[@faolan1686]

If the little girl "mascot" isn't suspicious, then what is?

[@HouseholdWheel]

*HILLS!*

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

I love your coat.

[@ThaX14]

NEDERLAND REPRESENT!!!

[@acidshrimp4476]

Turks fruit is a pretty famous dutch film

[@becuaseimbored3481]

14:25 actually, the emotional blackmail is true

[@henryglennon3864]

Nice use of Giovanni Sollima music throughout. Anyone in the comments who likes contemporary classical music should check him out, if they don't know him.

[@gregorsamsa9264]

14:09 Someone make an ace attorney game out of this.

[@l.l.j.rouwet]

We have hills in the south; not much tho

[@idunno...someguy3252]

Heh. Sailboat... I love a Mallrats joke.

[@l.l.j.rouwet]

Oké, dat is indrukwekkend

[@RoonMian]

You want a Dutch movie you can talk about? THE FUCKING FLODDERS!!! :D

[@nathanperquin9910]

just go watch old material from herman finkers , laugh a bit and feel bad for everyone who cannot speak the dutch language enough to appreciate it

[@fantaghiro1389]

How did your parents came to Netherlands? Are they diplomats?

[@FrankAtanassow]

If you want a Dutch project, you could compare Tim Krabbé's novella _Het Gouden Ei_ (1984) with the film versions, _Spoorloos_ (1988) and _The Vanishing_ (1993).

[@humanexperiment5644]

that better have not been a insult to doctor who my good highly intellectual friend, you leave my British Science Fiction Alone....

[@ThePa1riot]

0:57 So could someone maybe explain that to me? Does the Netherlands also have "Japanese schools" or "Russian schools?" If it's a language thing, why not just call it "english speaking school?" I'm just curious. 5:42 Hehe what must have people been thinking when they passed him doing that? XD

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

+Anthony Clay (Steel Accord) The American School of the Hague (ASH), the school I went to, was structured around an American-style curriculum. K-12, AP courses, SATs, all that. Its students were all the children of various families which were drawn to The Hague; it being the seat of the International Criminal Court, a major branch of NATO, and multiple international companies and all. I don't know if there were Russian or Japanese schools, but ASH had sports rivalries with the International School of the Hague and the British School in the Netherlands, both English speaking. All of our student bodies were quite diverse; my class was about 40% American, the rest being Dutch students who'd grown up abroad in other international school systems or from various other countries, Russia and Japan included.

[@ThePa1riot]

KyleKallgrenBHH Wow, didn't expect the man himself to respond. Thanks for answering Mr. Kallgren and very informative as always. Interesting place to go to school and grow up in. The "Russia and Japan" remark was more meant in jest. While I have you for a second, just want to say I really love your videos and maybe I could ask for a quick protip? Just as someone who loves movies and is a writing major right now, any quick advice you can give on how to convey a sense of idealism in my stories? What I'm referring to mostly is the idea that's formed most of my artistic drive, that cynicism itself is what restricts capability more than what a cynic says is the actual failing or limitation of humanity. How can I make a story *about* the power of faith and hope and the limitations of despair and nihilism without actually *saying* that's what it's about? If you don't have the time to respond, I completely understand. Thanks again for the response and you keep doing what you're doing, always a fun education your videos. ~Sincerely Anthony Clay

[@KyleKallgrenBHH]

Simple. Demonstrate your ideas through the characters' actions, not their words.

[@ThePa1riot]

KyleKallgrenBHH Simple but poignant. Thank you again.

[@johnny196775]

I am curious: if the author is dead, what happens to satire? Doesn't satire depend upon intent?

[@scrambled5948]

Ik zou ooit op een dag naar Nederland willed gaan (and no, I definitely did not put that into google translate, shut up.)

[@Cybjon]

I used to like Greenaway, then around the time of Prospero's Books he terminally disappeared up his own arse never to return. He makes banal pseudo-intellectual pronouncements about how everything is trite and cliched (like "cinema is dead, long live the cinema") despite still doing the same schtick he was doing 20-odd years ago. Nowadays even some Hollywood film-makers are doing stuff more innovative than he is, let alone cutting edge film-makers like Matthew Barney (whose monumental levels of creativity just plain intimidates me) and Guy Maddin (who is an interesting case in himself, since he uses very early film-making techniques to be new and innovative).

[@benmcfee]

8:33 Best conspiracy theory ever! And this is coming from a guy who actually thinks actors from within the US government aided and abetted the 9/11 attackers.

[@JR-hi9bu]

You draw lots of stupid comparisons (sure, Nightwatching and the Draughtsman's Contract are similar when abstracted in the sense that apples and salmon are similar by both being food). And what on earth to you mean, of course? Of course? Of course? How is it obvious? The whole case is laid out for you, thoroughly, twice, and you dismiss it because it strikes you as a little unlikely? Then you try and dismiss it further by criticising obvious dramatisation? It obviously dismisses unimportant specifics for the sake of making the point.

[@JR-hi9bu]

And what point are you making with the photoshop comment? That you don't like filters used for less than a minute? And? And did you miss the point of the soldiers discussing the painting outside? Did you miss Greenaway's justification for the copy? Clips from the narrative are used to illustrate the point being made, offering easy reference for people watching the companion. But at least you get the wider point, which you also contradict earlier on. Lose weight.

[@nocturnGER]

I hope you smuggled all the Vla Pudding you could legally carry back overseas, Kyle. I sure do whenever I visit Holland