make new friends if you must.

[@MasterEth]

friends can energize you as much as they can drain you

[@nikoyaps]

^^^

[@haisay8674]

God loves you, seek him and if you want forgiven of your sins and want to be certain that your sins are forgiven believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved

[@Niamleeson44-5]

True

[@0bashie]

@@haisay8674 scary

[@Jeremonkey90]

“If you put cologne on and get in the car with a bunch of smokers, you won’t smell like cologne when you get out; you’ll smell like smoke.”

[@RedactedSubject]

Friends matter a lot, but I agree. Choosing the right people is what matters the most with it. It's worthwhile to make good friends.

[@bexiexz]

so well said

[@haisay8674]

God loves you, seek him and if you want forgiven of your sins and want to be certain that your sins are forgiven believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved

[@haisay8674]

@@bexiexz God loves you, seek him and if you want forgiven of your sins and want to be certain that your sins are forgiven believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved

[@bexiexz]

@@haisay8674 !

[@puglif3708]

you'll see who's really your friend once you start getting better than them

[@Yumpieee]

We tend to become the sum of the 5 people we are closest to Surround yourself with the people you want to be like😌

[@guyonyoutubee]

m

[@-Fidelis-]

@@guyonyoutubee m

[@LannShorts]

@@guyonyoutubee m

[@DreamerFromTheDepths]

What if you aren't close to 5 people? What if it's less than that?

[@-Fidelis-]

@@DreamerFromTheDepths You become the sum of less than 5 people.

[@ShreeNation]

I lost friends the moment I started losing weight and shifted careers. Now I only have 2 friends that I wouldn't trade for the world.

[@ryanspaceYT]

Ive had some bad friends in life, I had some good friends, I have been friends with a lot of people, and all I can say is: If you get a bad vibe with that person, dont hang out with them, trust me i have seen friends go down in horrible ways but I trusted my gut and now I am doing well.

[@bexiexz]

so real

[@thelucidcrown]

don't pick friends, or people in general; let them pick you. And when it's time to go your own way, don't be sad or angry but instead remember the good times. People come into our lives to teach us, and us them, and when it's over we drift apart onto the next experience

[@nikoyaps]

I sort of agree with the let them pick you, but you also have to make the concious effor to pick people yourself, for if nobody picked anybody then nobody would have friends. Thanks for your comment!

[@thelucidcrown]

yes of course, I guess I meant more like don't pick a type of person (smart, tall, dumb, funny, etc) we are all here to learn many things and most of those lessons come from people. Great vids keep them coming!@@nikoyaps

[@Yodio12]

If you don't fight for your friends, you will be alone eventually. That's when you will realized you messed up. Don't drift like a dead piece of mater.

[@Runelor]

Had a whole friend group back in high school. Used to hang with them a lot. Heck sometimes I called out of work just to be with them. Then a few personal things happened, not sure if it was my fault or if it wasn't. But they decided to distance themselves with me. Made me feel pretty guilty that maybe I did do something wrong. I always felt left out afterwards, them not inviting me to things anymore, etc. Especially seeing their posts on social media never helped because hey I used to go with them to those places, but those pictures don't have me in them anymore. Fast forward to today, I deleted a lot of social media and overall just worked on myself as a person. I can confidently say that I just did not fit in with that type of friend group. And nowadays have my own few friends with similar interests. I think even when you feel like you're the one that ruined it, you can still recover and make new friends and work on yourself.

[@donuttheperson]

i love how genuine this channel is; the uncut commentary, and gameplay.

[@yellow2347]

Can't stress enough how much I needed this at this exact moment, thank you

[@PlatinumComet]

Another thing worth pointing out is that you don't need to have all of your friends be in the same circle. I know a handful of people that are committed to one fandom, a handful of people in another, and some that just do their own thing independent of any pre-existing media. I care about my friends a lot, but I can't say I really have a dedicated "squad" per say where everyone I knew all knew each other. And in trying to bring together several people from different parts of the internet under one group chat, it was... really awkward. Trying to invite them for multiplayer sessions that kept falling apart if just one person wasn't interested, and the overall lack of things in common most of them had made it difficult to even talk about stuff at times. Two people can be really great on their own, but not function well in the same room, and that's okay. What matters is you surround yourself only with those that TRULY matter to you. And if they're willing to do the same back? Those are the ones you keep around.

[@jelofisk]

THIS.

[@pudznerath6532]

i mean the advice form the video just boils down to not have friends who are stupid.

[@lemonshne]

very true

[@half_invisible]

I used to think that I had commitment issues, but now I realize that I just don't stick around because my former friends weren't willing to be respectful towards me. Over time I also realized that some of my friends don't have other traits that a value, so I moved on and tried to find different people. Don't get me wrong, I'm chill with all of my old friends, but I no longer depend on them to socialize. That's an important distinction to make.

[@milesoyasumi]

It’s also important to note that friends grow apart and that’s normal.. We might have different priorities, circumstances, values or a goal in mind that takes account in friendship being distant and feels to be not the same as it used to be. However try to reach out often as you are still in a degree mean something to them . Lastly, Choose friends you can genuinely laugh, cry, live life talk about things while simultaneously complements and be there for u

[@AeonFM]

Been recently going through the process of making new friends after many years of being alone (both by choice and my inherent shyness). It's definitely important to have them, I believe even the most socially awkward of us still needs someone to talk to and connect on a personal level to feel like we matter. That being said, it's also very important to have boundaries. And if someone becomes too much of a burden to have in your life, cutting them off should always be on the table as opposed to continually interacting with something/someone who's toxic for you. (Doesn't always mean they're comically evil, just bad for YOU).

[@lic.ma.delrosariotorresnor7803]

you should make a video about the grief of a relationship, i think its important to talk about it and not many people know how to grief or what to do in order to not feel sad all the time

[@OO0RI]

This was valuable to me. The part about adaptation stuck out. I’ve been in a bout of depression and I thought something was wrong with me when I didn’t really feel like connecting with those around me. But you make an excellent point: sometimes it’s not your inability to connect, maybe it’s just the people you are trying to connect with that makes it difficult for you.

[@aquawrld]

people say your friends can’t influence you but realistically they can. My friends have beyond influenced me. I’m even taking some of the stupid things they say and saying it myself just because i hang out around and hear them say it enough. For the most part your friends become an extension of you and will influence you for bad or for good after a while. That’s why it’s important to bring good people into your life

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

fr i literally just absorb my best friend's humor and mannerisms like a sponge lmao, good thing theyre awesome :)

[@Gwendalooni]

I needed this video as I ended a friendship that didn't serve me anymore recently. she had changed a lot over the span of a year to the point i didn't recognize her anymore. she threw away all of her morals and opinions for some guy she dated, and that was only the tip of the iceberg. I'm glad we're not friends anymore.

[@oscillis]

Heh! Sounds similar to my past situation. Some people just can't let go of their deathly obsession of attention and unconditional love, sadly I didn't notice the pattern until it was really just too late.

[@xemiii]

As someone who had a falling out with all their friends recently this hit close. I really relate to the story about the small town friend, being in a position where you didn't have any other options for socializing. It really sucks realizing that you don't relate to any of your friends and that you have to cut things off, especially if socializing and making friends is hard to begin with. I can say from experience that going off own your own, away from a group of people you no longer feel comfortable around, really helps your mental state. The only issue comes from how you wanna leave, because man some people can be so cruel when you want to set boundaries. Things do get better though (I think at least).

[@halfi593]

I have two friends who I treasure more than anything. One from Russia, one from my home country of Denmark. I've known them both for over 10 years now, all the way since my childhood, to my adolescence, to now, my adult life. We've grown up together, and my life would not be the same without them. But those ten years didn't happen without disagreements or conflicts. We all had to make sacrifices, own up to our mistakes, compromise with each other, accept each other's differences in interests, and adapt to our ever developing personalities as we aged. I am not blind to the possibility that one day, we may grow apart. But I think that's okay! Because if it's okay for us to outgrow other people, it's okay for them to outgrow us as well. I've made my peace with that. A friendship doesn't need to last forever to have served it's potential. And your video reminded me of that, Niko. Thank you

[@cal7961]

I just found your channel and I love your videos so far. Very chill and down to earth advice. Feels like we’re chillin on the couch playing Minecraft and we’re just talkin. Idk how old you are (I think 17 based off when you moved to the US?) but anywho you are wise beyond your years. Some of the stuff you’re saying here I don’t learn till I was 25. I’m nearly 30 now and I’m still learning the value of good friends.

[@SonyxApexGuides]

Great topic Niko! I recently covered a similar topic myself with finding the right people in a video. Some of my friends kept peer pressuring me into drinking and I was simply uncomfortable with it. Eventually they drew a line, which is when I realized I needed to find some real friends that respect my boundaries. Keep up the great work!

[@nanam6403]

Good job. Real friends don't pressure you into something that is bad for you.

[@kamjr]

all my friendships suck 😎

[@nikoyaps]

easier said than done but make some new friends!

[@kamjr]

@@nikoyaps Definitely easier said then done, especially since im home schooled :)

[@bobmarsh-ql3wt]

⁠​⁠@@kamjrwhy home schooled?

[@kamjr]

@@bobmarsh-ql3wt mix of reasons, alot being mental health related

[@jacextreme6432]

@@kamjrShiet I’m in the same boat man

[@matipont]

my best friend, with whom i've shared basically every day of my life for the past four years, is about to move abroad. I've been feeling very tense about it, apart from helping him through the process and just being supportive of his decision. This video helped me feel a little more relaxed because I know I will survive it, and our friendship will adapt to the circumstances. thank you again for what u do. You are an artist.

[@nikoyaps]

I'm glad this gives you some solace, to this day I still talk to my friends abroad, even daily during certain time periods. But even when sometimes months pass without us talking, we pick up right where we left off. It's truly a beatiful thing if you find people like that to surround yourself with

[@pudznerath6532]

5:46 this is why its important to travel and go places out of your comfort zone. people think im crazy wanting to blow my life savings on a plane ticket over seas, but what they dont understand is, im trying to form a personality, to become interesting. even if things do go wrong and im stranded, and have to beg for work at a local village to make the money for home, thats just another epic story at the dinner table, compared to your "i went to chilli"s and saw a rat"

[@AbyssalSoda]

Remember though that you ain't the main character nor invincible, I heard of and to extent know of cases close to home where people did just that only to end up dead. It can be a wild ride or your demise, but give your best effort and decide what story you want to live, you are in control of the steps you take not necessarily the final destination

[@blizzard_the_seal9863]

i mean tbf, if i saw a rat at chili's, i'd probably mention it at dinner lol

[@jaretallen4516]

This topic really hits deep because I recently ended a 5 year friendship that spanned all the way back to highschool. Could I have put more effort into it, yes, but at the sametime I really tried to help him in his darkest days. Would spend hours trying to help him navigate through other relationship problems, or really what to prioritize in life. The biggest issue is that I was the only one putting in effort, and he would barely reach out anymore. After getting busy in life and not having as much time to reach out, we just hadn't talked for months. Sucks, but I only help he's doing well in life. Moral of this story is that surrounding yourself with people who also want to see you succeed is important.

[@fingif]

your content is actually so unique and different from others ive come across in the genre, its refreshing to see. youre one of the more relatable channels and give such versatile advice while not feeling like one of those youtube shorts motivation influencers, its honestly impressive. im glad your channel is growing a bit and i hope others can use the experiences you share to their own benefit :)

[@Ollie_sm]

this type of content is so refreshing, I'm so glad ur channel is growing quite a bit

[@Absoluuttinen_Totuus]

I have yet to meet a single respectable or non-superficial person in my 18 years of living, and it's really starting to take a toll on me: not only do I have to experience constant anxiety due to the problems in this human society, but I also need to suffer from the stress of loneliness. I don't know what it was, but I always felt annoyed when I was playing with the other kids in kindergarten. They were too loud and energetic for my static self (no, I didn't have any family issues during my early childhood). I never felt connected to the children around me, which made me practice masking and making the real me stay inside my head - that was where my actual self ended up staying for most of my childhood. However, adults - especially my parents - understood me, and that made it easy to take off the mask around them. Well, holding actual conversations with adults instead of playing boring games among other kids made me develop way quicker than my peers, which (I think) made things worse when I got to elementary/primary school: I hadn't developed important social functions like others due to my previous isolation, and none of my classmates were able to hold conversations with me because I had unusually advanced thought processes behind my words (or at least that's what the teachers said😅). This led to some bad experiences regarding friendships, I'm afraid. Anyways, my emotional/general intelligence kept developing faster and faster, which made school work in middle/lower secondary school extremely easy - I didn't need to study much. This allowed me to gain a few honest friends, but I sometimes felt overly "inactive" in their company too, since there was a longing for deep conversations always present. High school/upper secondary school was no better. I had hoped that there would be a significant change in people's psychological capacity, but I was met with disappointment. This is when a dark cloud started forming above my head; I just felt like I was trapped in a cage with total monkeys. Although I did detect a handful of people who were potentially smart, and I kinda blame myself for not talking to them. Not to be too harsh on myself though, high school was actually hard for me because no other education level before that had made it necessary for me to develop strong studying methods, and learning to actually study drained my emotional and social batteries. Now I'm an upper secondary school graduate and, as sad as it is, my only hope left for finding friends resides in the labour force. So my question is: WHERE ARE ALL THE SMART, SOCIALLY AWARE, METACOGNITIVELY INCLINED, OBSERVANT DEEP-CONVERSATION-ENJOYERS A

[@DABUNGINATOR]

Well, the way you talk about these other people sounds rude. You say that you haven't met anyone respectable, but you imply that you've only met dumb people. Many people are smart & aware of what's happening, but they simply like stupid, fun conversations. I have a close friend kinda like you. He told me that he was tired of talking about dumb stuff, & he wanted to get philosophical. But he seemed to have an ego over everyone else, thinking he was a deep thinker among sheep. If you're gonna keep thinking like that, I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes, it's nice to have deep conversations, but there are also other things to talk about, even if it's something dumb like an anime McDonald's ad. People got a lot going on, & they just wanna relax with their friends, not constantly ponder about their crappy lives. I'm not saying you should transform overnight, but keep in mind how other people feel. If you're always thinking that the masses are full of monkeys, most people are gonna have a hard time respecting you.

[@Absoluuttinen_Totuus]

@@DABUNGINATOR Ahh, I should've made my point of view more clear. I like discussing stupid things. In fact, I rarely take things seriously. Humor is the only way I can ignore my anxiety about the direction our society is going towards. It's not that I hate having fun conversations or being childish, but _never_ doing deep analysis is both boring and bad for your brain. When nobody is even capable of comprehending the things that come out of your mouth, it starts feeling like you don't have one. I mean, have you seen the level of intellect these underaged gen-z people express every day? Doing group projects with people who can't even grasp a thesis that goes beyond normative ethics or - even worse - get behind a theory that requires you to handle Newton's second law is actual torture. I live in Finland, for fuck's sake - we're supposed to have some of the smartest, most highly educated citizens in the world. Why the hell can they not even come up with a single contradiction in the Ten Commandments or something?? Yes, I am aware of the fact that I have started developing narcissistic thought patterns, but can you really blame me? If you can inform me of a single person (under 30) who can give me a new perspective on things through their own theories and reasoning, I might regain my hope for humanity. It's no secret that IQ and EQ have both been on a rapid decline in most countries, and it has gotten to the point that schools have to bring mentally disturbed kids to normal classes in many places. It really just seems like nobody besides a few quiet kids learns sufficent critical thinking skills in school now. Even adults, who I used to enjoy the company of as a kid, have started cultivating polarized and short-sighted opinions just because the society has gotten a little more unstable again. I mean, look, I don't think a person with an IQ of about 80 is even aware enough to actually be called an authentic moral agent. But the average IQ, globally, is around 85. Being an INFP also makes it easy to analyze people's emotions/intentions and to predict their courses of action, which enables me to really compare the status quo of today to the past and to attatch aspects of different psychological theories to the mental pictures I make of the people I meet. I usually predict people's actions right, and that makes it hard for me to find anything interesting about others around me - there are so many copy-paste people in this generation, it's not even funny. Don't interpret me wrong, though. I _never_ judge anything/anyone before gaining a huge amount of information on it/them. Hell, I have even done in-depth research on inbreeding and law just to argue for and against incestual relationships. I easily gather data from people by simply observing them and listening to their (unnecessarily loud) conversations, and I use said data to make mindmaps of the variety of people in different functions. My conclusion so far is opposite to yours. There are most likely not many smart people in this generation (relative to size). Simply put, I've lost hope in the future, and school has made things so much worse. If I don't find a single fully authentic person who uses slow thinking before quick, less metacognitively emphasized thinking in college or my future jobs, I'll probably become a damn hermit😂 TLDR: I like having fun and talking about childish stuff, but what I meant by the first comment was that I've never personally met anyone who is even remotely capable of deriving deeper meanings from the world around them. This makes it impossible for me to find any reason in befriending these people. Thus my current hardship.

[@ilovefamilyguy64]

well said@@DABUNGINATOR

[@DABUNGINATOR]

@@Absoluuttinen_Totuus I'm sorry for judging you too quickly. I have a bad habit of doing that. I'm probably not a fully authentic person, haha. But I get what you mean. There are also many people who don't seem to think past the surface. They only read the first Google result, & they easily believe in misinformation. Not that my lazy self is much better, but it frustrates me to see thousands of people online take extremely narrow views, all the time. I don't wanna think that I'm too different than everyone else, but I've also noticed there are lots of people who act the exact same. When I was a high-school senior, these two guys would always mess with me. I already dealt with guys like them in middle school, so I could predict their actions & intentions. For example, one dude randomly asked me, "Are you gay?" To humor him, I replied, "Yeah." Then, he said that I was disgusting. I knew he expected a big reaction, so I just stared blankly before going back to my schoolwork. They would also pretend that they wanted to talk with me, but as soon as I talked for two seconds, they would stop listening to me. So, I never got too invested in talking to them, & I would just ignore them once they ignored me. This type of crap became routine for me, & I'm afraid that I'll keep meeting assholes like that. Luckily, I've met people different than that, & I watch KZbinrs who don't seem like predictable assholes. But still, when I've experienced so much garbage & continue to see so much blind negativity online, I lose faith. Even I can get sucked into a hivemind. Besides all the shitheads, I just don't think I'm compatible with most people. Nearly every person I meet & see online seems to have the same humor that I dislike. Obviously, that's not their faults, but I feel so lonely when everyone is laughing about something that I find unfunny. I'm already a bit reclusive, but if I didn't have a few certain friends, I might've became a hikikomori.

[@Absoluuttinen_Totuus]

@@DABUNGINATOR You didn't do anything wrong. Misunderstanding my first comment is completely understandable, especially if you thought I was another one of those annoying jerks. Even I don't understand myself sometimes😅 Anyways, you have some good points. There is definitely a lot of unnecessary negativity around nowadays, and I think social media especially "inflates" small problems and makes them seem unreasonably big. Social media has so many negative effects on people's thinking. I completely agree on that. I also relate to what you said about not being compatible with others. I feel that way too. It gets tiring. I wish you well. Maybe I will find a few friends one day as well - I know at least _some_ smart people exist, after all. I just need to find them. Although that's very hard for me, since I'm so antisocial. I often tend to express myself in a very straightforward manner, and people don't really like that either. Humans generally fear the unknown because of our evolutive history and the neurobiological underpinnings of it, and when I accidentally spout out a truckload of ideas they don't have a clue about, they get uncomfortable. I don't know, humans have always just been so hard to be around for me. I connect with nature way more, which makes living in this capitalist, consumerist society all the more frightening. Stories seldom have happy endings in real life, and even though I want to believe that there is hope, I honestly can't see it. All these modern developments in toxic values and hurtful habits, you know?

[@RotorSpotter_]

I'd rather be alone than accept that my only "friends" are simply not on my same wavelength; but at the same time I'm scared to meet someone who's exactly on mine. It's the loneliest feeling in the world.

[@mintstah]

Hey man great video! I agree that just like a regular relationship, a friendship is a two-way street and you have to be willing to compromise.. I've had a lot of friends over the years that I've drifted away from and I've also had friends from elementary/middle school to now university that I still talk to very frequently.. i think with the ones that work, you both have to show up and show interest/care about the friendship.. otherwise it could be really draining if you're the one that constantly shows interest and its not reciprocated back.. with the ones that didn't work, I noticed that the other person would just selfishly use you for their own interest and when you stop showing up, you never hear from them ever again..

[@Mxionic]

great message man, keep up the good work!

[@zeroesssssw]

dude i move a lot too, this hit deep for me. thanks for making this. never seen one like this before

[@capnewton]

after 2021 i was just not really left with any friends, one of my childhood friends moved to Texas and many others just went to other schools. it was in early 2022 that i started hanging out with some guys i had common interests with. we've always stayed friends since then but i've realized over time that they're not the right fit for me. they went from actually having fun and including me to just talk about girls all the time and excluding me. if i was more social and stuff i would've parted ways a long time ago, but i just have a really tough time finding people to talk to. i feel they don't put as much effort as i do and they could just stop talking to me and replace me if they don't like me.

[@Quennium]

*Calls Mom* "WAKE UP! NIKO UPLOADED!"

[@rogerweng1150]

As it is and so it goes… thanks Niko, this video means a lot when recent stuff that has happened in my own life. Senior year of high school is coming to an end and I feel some of my friendships have changed overall because of that looming fact. People face changes differently and it’s interesting to see how we all do. I considered a lot of this before and I think your video helps me see this situation better.

[@Da-Teddy-Bear]

It's so neat seeing someone who just does his videos raw without adding cuts or anything special he just talks about what is on his mind that is awesome.

[@magicgeek]

Hey Niko I just wanted you to know everytime I see a new video pop up it makes me happy . For some reason I like the way you talk and explain life and things. It’s weird because I don’t look forward to many things anymore . But watching a new. Video from you is one of them .

[@SonOfHandorf]

I'm in the same position right now too where 2 of my oldest friends, since we were 5, we don't have much in common anymore. We used to go outside, play the same games, talk about girls, music, and trash talk about the things we don't like. But its become boring and repetitive with them. They also never left town, didn't get into anything after high school. No trade, no military, or college, they just work at their odd job, come home, smoke weed, play video games. And that's it. Whenever I talk to them I don't feel the enthusiasm and fun lighthearted way I used to. It sucks because that's really the only friends I ever knew. But I'm at a time in my life now where I don't like to do the same things every day. I want to expand and explore other things. I want new experiences. I want to expand my comfort zone. And yeah, like you said in the video, sometimes friends grow apart. It can suck to feel like you have nothing in common and they don't want to hangout with you. We grow apart, we move. And I'm thankful you were apart of my life for a time and the memories we made. I'm feeling pretty good about because I've got a fun plan ahead for me so I'm looking forward to the future

[@KudLawyer5]

watching you build this house is more satisfying than minecraft parkour, and the advice to listen to is better than just bad reddit stories and stuff.

[@nozeekah5035]

I moved away once from my childhood area, basically elementary school. I made really good friends. Then, at a band concert thing, our two schools were there, I met my best friend. I don't know if he recognized me, and he said something I didn't hear, didn't know what he said. It was then I knew, I think it was best to move on. I don't hate him, and I know he doesn't hate me, if I see him again, I might reach out. But I don't think I'll go out of my way to see him again. Life is just such a huge thing, and I don't think I have the strength to get that thing out of the way. It's like a boulder up a mountain in a depression, even if I had the strength to lift it out of the way, it might go downhill.

[@capboy43]

Its always a good day when you upload. You help me get better and continue with life. Thank you

[@EdgiB0Do]

My first childhood “best friend” was the absolute worst type of person anyone could have as a friend. He would spread rumours about me, laugh at my failures always trying to put me down. Later in life he would go around to other friend’s girlfriends and tell them they too good for them. Just a very weird jealous guy. I never had a girlfriend for him to insult me to though because having him in close proximity for so long took a big toll on my confidence

[@Aspeiren]

I'm not sure how much reputation this comment will get, but this video was a wake-up call for me. I've been dealing with the exact situation recently and my "friends," who were ultimately just bullying me under the guise of jokes, continually made me uncomfortable even after I asked them to stop. I realized that their behavior was changing me because over time, I was starting to evolve and like their humor, which disturbed me since it was so vulgar and honestly demeaning to others. I confronted one of the two people in this group and he simply told me to grow some skin, which hurt me quite badly. They insulted me for being bad at a video game, once again calling it jokes after I mention it to them. This naturally started to hurt over time, and despite my overwhelming niceness and empathy towards not wanting to hurt their feelings when confronting them, they didn't want to change. They even acknowledged my most genuine request and almost gave me the idea that they were going to finally stop saying hurtful and hateful things towards me in the name of jokes. At the end, though, they continued on with the same stuff. I had to tell them both that I wanted some space and needed time away from them. I also reminded them of how much I valued the friendship, and I clarified it wasn't because of just one person in the group, but just a drain as a whole. They were in a Discord server with me that I created, so it was hard to avoid their online presence. Ultimately I am thinking of just disbanding the server to avoid making them mad at me for kicking them out. I'm not too sure on what to do there, but I do know one thing, and it's that I want to get away from them. Honestly, I don't think they ultimately care whether or not I stay a friend of theirs.

[@RoemYT]

Hey man! I know you're probably not gonna read this but this whole video is painfully relatable to me. Back in 2020 I made these 3 friends and we were all kind of a group that always stuck by eachother. Me and another kid (I'll call M) in the group live im California while the 2 others (I'll call S and A) live all the way in New York. I met them through friends of friends and very quickly we all started talking. Eventually in summer 2021, I flew to New York to meet up with all 3 of them. And it went really well! I did it again in summer 2022 and it also went really well. I was the closest with S throughout all of this. I still consider him my best friend of all time. I was also nearly as close with A as I was with S. In summer 2023, A started acting not like himself. He made some new friends and then started to message me some REALLY offensive things and then he started to try and get the whole group (specifally me and M) to become one of those edgy, alpha male, red pill type of people. Eventually it got to the point where I was sending A full paragraphs about how I felt he was acting and how it really hurt me but he never took it seriously. He mostly just responded with weird emojii's and random stupid jokes. To make it all worse, at one point my mom figured it out, and she threatened to send him a cease and desist for cyberbullying (which I NEVER wanted to happen), after that A finally apologized and we tried to go back to how our relationship was before, but it wasn't the same. He changed for the worse due to many reasons that I can't really explain. Because of this random personality change into a whole new person, we weren't compatable with eachother anymore. Thanks for sharing your story about friendships and how some work and some don't. It's a really interesting topic and I'm really glad you brought it up on this platform.

[@tomservo75]

I had a large group of friends in college, but that was an anomaly in my life. Ever since moving across the country, taking a new job, then working from home, then COVID, I just lost all desire to go out and meet people. My childhood friends, I've just lost touch with. My hermetic nature comes from two things: 1) Not being encouraged socially by my parents (there were no such thing as "play dates" at the time, no social media), and 2) my parents separation at 10, being a "latch key kid" I learned to do things for myself and not depend on others and that became hardwired in my personality. I don't like having to trust or depend on others, or let people into my space. I have a lot of online friends now, and it's great, but not really the same.

[@marcandre8832]

The most important thing I heard in this video was "its okay to look at your childhood friend and decide you have nothing in common anymore". Happened to me recently with a childhood friend I was living with in the lockdown year.

[@Warzulu77]

When you mentioned that friends can be the best thing that happened to you, I started to cry for no reason. It's like I've been missing that my entire life.

[@Andrew-yi2ee]

After the pandemic, all of my friendships ended and it’s been really hard for the past two years. It feels like as I got older, it also became so much harder to find likeminded people and that nobody really wants to form a connection anymore. And, as you said in the video, we are social creatures so extreme isolation has slowly gotten me to a really bad spot. I hope one day to be able to make friends again though, you never know

[@Red-ne]

I, at some point, realized that it became impossible making friends and being your genuine self at the same time. Ever since I started choosing my friends I became the loneliest of all. And it’s been the case for years and years. I survived on my own, not a single friendship lasted more than 2 years. And it’s always either 2 or 3 sometimes only 1 friend, and I barely hang out with them, like at all.

[@SlendyBlue]

Something what i also learned... Stay close to the people you've spend years with, rather than the people you've known for a couple or months or so. No one can and will replace my friend i've known for years. You can become another good friend, if you'd also spend years with me and befriend him as well. Smaller friendgroups is something i'd prefer anyway, since being close with each other is what i call a real friendship. That's something you can't do with a big friendgroup.

[@LucasPlay171]

Its refreshing to just hear someone talking here tbh

[@craszypie]

pretty much any and all friendships and relationships are transactions at the end of the day. Once you realize that you're putting in more than others, or vise versa, it's over. I heard a good quote: "if you dont respect your friends or what they're doing in life, why are you even friends still?".

[@gosu_bg5818]

NIKO BRO I LOVE U, I’m 18 and I’ve recently found your channel and it’s helped me in many ways and relaxes me when I get home from work. Keep it up bro

[@Oscarcabrera6604]

I'm 21 bro

[@gosu_bg5818]

@@Oscarcabrera6604 young fella, still got plenty of time to do greatness and beyond. Keep it up ur doing amazing

[@byjoelsamuel]

This video actuals means something to me because almost the exact thing has been happening to me right now, believe it or not and finally to relate with someone truly is a different feeling. Thank you for making these videos Niko ❤

[@gymbmymb3465]

I can say for sure it's undoubtably a good idea to curate your social circles, in fact it's a very huge improvement to anyone's life once they start identifying all the elements in it that bring them down or impede them or generally reduce the quality of your day-to-day experience. But in regards to the example given I would say that individual isn't so much an impediment but more so a relic of the past. Static, unchanging and consistent. I've filtered out some folks who were drains on my life but I still give a few rings to the relics I know since I honestly have no qualms with them, they're really not interested in most of the things I listen to or work on but they were there for me when I was younger so I'm there for them now. It's pretty common for life to take you and friends to completely different places. Perhaps your friends are also moving on from you, their minds no longer dwelling on the same thoughts that you both once shared. Just keep in mind that any filter you apply upon your social circles will in turn be applied to you, and if you're quick to make cuts on what's around you then expect no different from the ones around you.

[@AbyssalSoda]

I wouldn't really say it's about choosing your friends wisely, rather coming to understand change. You change and your friends change, and that causes a rift to open up between the two of you that can grow over time. Personally I have lost many friends after they went to college - despite graduating college alongside or to higher academic criteria; many of us ideologically no longer see eye to eye. It's unfortunate but at the end of the day it's not my choice to tell others what to think and how to act. Other times though it's less cut and dry people will ditch you to save face on the larger stage whether or not you are guilty of gossip asserted against you, rather than ask many decide it's not worth it. So there are plenty of aspects outside of your control, you should cherish the time you have and accept not all things will last.

[@deewey65]

Tysm for posting this today im currently deciding if i should leave one of my friends. It's been hard to decide but i think this video will help me decide. Edit: I finished the video and it definitely helped me, thank you Niko!

[@ShroomM4n]

same omg

[@deewey65]

@@ShroomM4n glad it helped you too :)

[@DABUNGINATOR]

There's a certain friend group I left for a reason years ago. I just didn't think they were funny, & I got really bored when hanging out with them. Later, I transitioned into another group that I really liked, & I looked forward to playing games with them almost everyday. Looking back, some of our friendships were quite shallow, but I still liked them. However, that group only lasted around two years. Ironically, I'm back in that original friend group that I didn't like. It's not exactly the same, but it still has similar people. One part of me wants to just leave, but the other part is really lonely & wants to stay, despite that I'm not happy in this group anyway. There are some friends I like, but they usually want to hang out with the group. I can either join them or stay by myself. I dislike either option, but I've considered going a bit solo mode for now, because I'm tired of being around people I don't like.

[@jacoblowe8426]

Finding the right friends isn’t always easy When I started friendships there were those friends who always told me to do stupid things Peer pressure was a big part of my life throughout high school and middle school And it took me awhile to realize that they were not my friends so I understand what it’s like to have the wrong freinds

[@izumijojo]

"Chose your friends wisely" have changed to "Choose who you're following wisely"

[@daskomika2708]

this vid is super relevant for me atm as I realized that many of my friends are just not right for me anymore some time ago. after a while, I proceeded to kinda leave the group and started making new friends and god damn, life is fun again. I seriously love so many of the "new" people in my life and it makes me so incredibly happy to be with them. only problem is that my oldest and presumably "best" friend is also part of that group and we barely hang out anymore. but it seems that he is happier with the old gang and whatever they're doing (even though I see him as one of the smartest people I have ever met, which makes me quite confused on what he gets from them on an intellectual level).

[@EvanDaGr8]

Your house is looking great so far. Love the tinted skylights.

[@Izontheprize1]

my best friend is both one of the best people I know super respectful at times and always inviting me to do cool stuff and at the same time the worst person because at points he will choose to not care about anything get high on occasions where its annoying and makes him hard to deal with. he has influenced me for both the better and worse, i am a better person because I've become more respectful but my humor has deteriorated to dirty jokes which have affected my parents too so now they are making dirty jokes when they were supposed to be my anchor so now I'm trying to drop him off in the nicest way i can but its gonna be difficult because its not like he's the only person in my school who smokes so if i drop him for new friends i might end up with the same bad qualities without any of the common interests and those trustworthy people are hard to find

[@SvengelskaBlondie]

Considering that you will get influenced by those that are close to you, it's quite true that you need to be careful when considering who you choose to have as friends. Just look at how many people have done bad things, all just cause they surrounded themselves with people that where a bad influence to them. If anything, you should surround yourself with people that you wish to become like. That way, your friends will have a positive effect on you rather than a detrimental effect.

[@Exzyll]

I stumbled upon your channel not long ago but you've taken 60k since then, you deserve it all

[@Cakeboy667]

Niko. I just discovered this gem of a channel. You are on the right track. Let me just slide in one wish. Don't fill silences with the word "right?". You don't need validation to state your opinion. Keep preaching!

[@nikoyaps]

Bro I'm trying it's a filler word hahhah

[@Cakeboy667]

That's all anyone can do :). Looking forward to your next upload! Hehe.

[@c_eyler]

Hey man, im a new viewer and stumbled across your videos by chance. Honestly its really ironic because I lost my two closest friends today. We stopped talking and we got in a huge fight over something really dumb and I was ditched. Although I grieve the relationship and it hurts, they'd constantly leave me out and I'd have my issues disregarded by one of them constantly. Watching this video made me feel a little better about my current situation along with your other video about loneliness. Thank you for this man, this is helping a bit.

[@thepieisalieofficial]

Dude I just wanna say I love your content so much. Please keep making more, you’re a hidden gem.

[@Glatier]

“A man is known by the company he keeps.”

[@MrDylpickle27]

This feels like old KZbin, you’ve really encapsulated it perfectly keep it up

[@plebisMaximus]

I've always had 2 very close friends. Not the same people and it's not like I'm deliberately restricting myself to only 2 close friendships, it's just pure chance. Funny how life works out.

[@thelifeofgabbie]

this is such a difficult concept for some people to understand, and I'm so glad I found this video because I've just had my own jake and breaking the connection has been hard but the answers pretty clear now, thank you

[@ProPlayer_ofc]

Friends are important, but you must understand what a friend is.

[@Skylxr_404]

Making friends is hard,, for me my strategy is to be myself and if anyone wants to be my friend, sure , but i won't instantly give them my whole trust :") I've had plenty of terrible friends and not-too many good friends as i've strayed away from the idea of making friends as it kind of scares me

[@mariozucchero6167]

A friendship I have, in these months, for his behaviors and for what is happening for me in this time of life that is affecting everything, has been affecting me on a deep emotional level, he's close-mindness and his inability to listen the other person, hurts me, he makes me feel rage, and all these negative things that bring me back in the bad things of the past and that makes me de-evolve, on an escalated level, and I dont know, if its because he is a close and special friend of mine, or not, I think that makes a great part, but I think is also because I might be borderline, in reguard of how I live relationships with people outside the world and in my inner world, I feel all things that I see nobody feel the same like me, on a really escalated scale, on a level that affects me daily emotionally and mentally, and that could probably scar me, but the borderline thing is solely an assumption. I dont know what to do with this friend, in life, specially with people, it always appeared and appears something that will for the definite, ruin everything, and I'm in this fase with this friend, i dunno if the things Im saying are corralated at all, Im just bursting out things because everything isnt going well, I dont talk about these things rarely and now I've been isolating me, feeling alone, not being understanded by others, but the thing is, things are like this with my friend, I told him that I want to not be with him for a while, but I dont know how to do it and want to do, we have the same friends and the only friends I hang out with, he is always there, and here is difficult making new friends that I dont know where to start, everything is always been an absolute with people, specially the "going down" part, so I dont know what to do. Sorry for all this negativity and for bursting out all this, I might turned this into a mess to understand, sorry if something isn't written too well, English is not my native language, and if you used your time for reading all of this, thank you really much, I hope everything turnes out good for you.

[@oscillis]

5:40... I kinda get that. Had a friend that often lashed out at people, she had a lot of issues that she never ended up trying to get over in the next eight years of her life. She would be incredibly reckless or destructive and expect me to be completely, 100% okay with it and support her in anything she would do. Even though she hadn't for me. She didn't really try to do anything different. She was so obsessed with receiving love and attention that she started dating a child over the internet when we were 19 and in college. Defended it. Lied about it right to my face, and ended up choosing dating a child over getting any sort of help. Almost nine years of this idiotic cycle. Middle school, highschool, all of my memories of her are completely tainted and I feel like I wasted my life away trying to care for and about her. Things were good from an outside view, but we hadn't talked much about our issues that we faced in the early parts of our friendship, so it lead to her becoming more withdrawn any time we had an issue with eachother and she wouldn't talk about anything and just blame me later for doing something supposedly wrong. She never changed, she didn't want help, she didn't want to change AT all. In the end it was her choice instead of mine because I was still stuck in the previous years, so resentment has been a loud voice in the back of my head. I was 14 or 15 when I met her and defended her from a bully. We were kids, she was my single and only friend for many many years, and sadly I never quite broke out and realized shit was bad. In the later years I actually had to cut contact with her multiple times for boundaries I had asked her to respect. The situation with her has messed up my view of people in my life really bad.

[@goproxy1]

this is true for me, for my story, experiences

[@andnowyouknow3363]

Expecting childhood friends to stay forever is delusional. People grow and often go their own path. I ended a 9-year-long friendship. Simply because we grew into 2 very different people. For me, I couldn't bear his negativity and disrespect anymore as he used me as his emotional punching bag whenever things didn't work out for him. There were also some blessings and achievements of mine I knew for sure he was jealous of. Things can become toxic fast, either due to incompatibility or just poor personality.

[@iXx4L]

i fucking love the rise of videos like this with minecraft in the background lmao

[@maxymeq07]

Guys, please accept that he doesn't want to talk about his life and backstory outside of the topic of the video

[@Elf0_]

yea friends are important like you become of you hang out with like if a friend steals you might say no at once but after him stealing for a while you might start doing it and its like that for other stuff and you meet threw out life a lot of bad poeple that do bad stuff and that you always gotta make the good decision

[@ok-sq5rg]

considering doing that as I'm basically the gc's punching bag and when I insult back one of them threatens me just because he said it's "compassion" while insulting me and telling me to grow up. Even when I felt like life was useless and stopped coming into the discord calls no one asked if I was good or not.

[@dee23gaming]

The problem with people is that they forget about you very quickly. I don't talk to a single school friend, because nobody talks to me. I've been out of school for almost 7 years now. Everybody needs to hustle and pay bills. There's no time for "friendship". I can understand why maintaining friendships are just tedious and take up energy which could be allocated to making more money. Money is my only purpose. Making 1s and 0s in a bank account. The more I make, the more "successful" I am. And then... I don't know. Life has literally no other purpose, lol. It's just "eat, shit, and then die". It's especially hard if you really dislike being around people and you have social anxiety. I avoid people like the plague, except for my family. Also, there's so much competition where people my age speed run marriage, success and children, that I feel left behind and jealous of how easy they just fit in with society. I feel like I'm frozen in time. I don't get how people can do this "friend and soulmate" thing so easily. Why was I born with such terrible RNG? 😂 Everyone talks about dealing with problematic relationships, and I'm just like, "Y'all have relationships?!"

[@oscillis]

Two way road, man. Why expect people to talk to you if you don't give them a chance?

[@bananaspilt1988]

@@oscillisthat is facts bruh one of the reasons I don’t have friends is because I don’t give them a chance to get to know me

[@HoshiKami-r4f]

Man, I love your vid, touching these topics with this kind of olden days KZbin vibe, make me really nostalgic about it, keep it going on my friend!!

[@pekar43]

Yeah man I had to let go of my best friend of 9 years recently. I just kind of realised that he kind of stagnated and he was just a bit too annoying. Me and him never had a fight in those 9 years but yeah all of a sudden I started to get really annoyed by him and I had to let go. I also changed my way of thinking as well so that was a factor. Also he never wanted to adapt to me, he is very hardheaded, and he's really bad dealing with the concequences of it now. Pretty unfortunate but it is what is

[@Cerystia]

GANG WAKE UP, NEW NIKO VIDEO YIPPEEEE

[@Danny_saur]

I don't have many friends outside of a friend group of mine but I'm what you would call an easy target, They are the kind of people to make plans right in front of me and not invite me, like if i say a joke its not funny but if someone else dose it is. I don't know if they even think I'm their friend anymore, or just an annoying kid who follows them around, I've tried asking if i do something wrong but i just get ignored, i just want to be heard.

[@yuki-rd3mu]

wake up soldier, niko is gonna teach us about life

[@4sk3wrecital]

thank you so much for sharing your experience. this helped a little with my current situation. Thank you again.

[@kostnigamer]

You are becoming one of my favourite channels on KZbin. Keep the vids up, they are amazing :)

[@ThrakGorshun]

Awesome video dude. Love the house style too! A little sad I didn't get to see the final product though!

[@JTthegreat06]

Niko you are a great KZbinr and a dearly respect you and please know that you matter to KZbin and everyone else

[@kakilaki1360]

In your life you will meet hundreds of people, but only have a maximum of 10 real friends. Hold them close.

[@Poizin77]

This came exactly when I needed it thank you

[@Daflamingfox-878]

Dude if u start a podcast id listen to all the episodes, I rly like how authentic and honest your videos are : )

[@tzatzikilover89]

Thank you for this. I'm going through a time where i really needed to hear what you said and coming from someone like you, with some calm minecraft gameplay in the background, it really helps me relax and collect my thoughts

[@OtakubeePunpun]

obviously, it's hard to immediately know who's compatable for you in any given relationship. even the perfect friend, sacrifical, trusting and actively improving your life can end up being something that is toxic for you. while they might abide to the small things (like not playing music while talking in a call in an annoying fashion), there can be underlying issues that are far too large a demon for you to have to deal with. one has to consider whether making friends is good for them, as mental health can eliminate the idea of cooperation traditional to friendships. you can't fight someone's battles for them, and you can't make friends in order to fill the hole you yourself are missing. while humans are social creatures, they're also ones who love nuance. for those with repetitive lives who are itching to make new friends, regardless of quality, the message "make new friends if you must" wrings true... but also false. you'll need friends as you can't always fight alone. however, a captain must attend their own fight, as your army trusts you to lead them. you'll neglect them until they became scarred from the losses on the battlefield. i've lost friendships because i wasn't there for my own battles, and i've cut people out who i've realised don't want to commit to who i've become. i know i've grown and i know i'll never be perfect and that's okay. people hurt eachother just by existing. let's take care that the connections we make are worthwhile for everyone involved, shall we?

[@dev_ression]

therapy ❌ niko ✅

[@Bruce-MC]

good video again! I really enjoy your content, its refreshing and kind off old school content again. I started making the same "old school" type of content. its has been nice so far.