No Molestar a Mutisia sinuata (con gas) - Alpine Plants of the High Andes

While simultaneously pissing you off as well as teaching you about biogeography, Tony goes off on a series of rants on about 600 MG of caffeine at an elevation of roughly 10,000' (3250 meters for you pompous bastards in the back complaining about feet as a unit of measurement).
Here we will dissect a Mutisioid Aster (Aka "Dinosaur Sunflower") while threatening fluffy violence for those that cannot distinguish between a bilabiate floret corolla and a non-mutisioid composite-family corolla. Consolation points will be awarded for those that cannot distinguish between sarcasm and authenticity.
Can patrons at a high end ski resort and rare alpine plants of the Central Andes live together in harmony, even if the fresas 🍓 don't know said plants are there? Why did security meatheads not escort field botanists out or threaten them with a fine for visiting this area? Do Great-Horned Owls shoplift (we hope so)? Watch his episode of CPBBD to find out.
Species List :
Puya alpestris (Bromeliaceae)
Trichocereus chiloensis (Cactaceae)
Eriosyce curvispina (Cactaceae)
Tropaeolum sessilifolium (Tropaeolaceae)
Chaetanthera euphrasioides (Asteraceae)
Mutisia sinuata (Asteraceae)
Triglochin alata (Rosaceae)
Leucheria runcinata (Asteraceae)
Melosperma andicola (Plantaginaceae)
Anarthrophyllum gayanum (Fabaceae)
Oreopolus glacialis (Rubiaceae)
Nassauvia lagascae (Asteraceae)
Oriastrum pusillum (Asteraceae)
To ensure that low-brow educational content (an antidote to the depressing nature of modern human society Aka "the modern tumor") continues to be spewed forth onto the expensive suits of the humorless and mundane, consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt or throwing a couple bucks to PayPal account : [e-mail]
Questions, hate mail, advice, semi-coherenr sociopathic ramblings : [e-mail]
To purchase shirts, hoodies and other merch that will emphasize your fascination with evolution, floristics and biophilia; as well as your irreverence for most of the rules and standards of modern human society :
www.bonfire.com/store/crime-p...

[@Eblis840]

This botany loving bastard always puts a smile on my face.

[@seanc6128]

Absolutely everything is fascinating if you look at it right.

[@CheeseBon]

Sean C LSD25

[@lilcrumb6420]

Skip the coffee and go native and chew the coca leaves. It's great for high altitude situations and keeps you alert like caffeine. It's not addicting and will help the local economy. Coca tea is also excellent way to ingest the leaves active ingredient. My wife is from Peru and we visit often.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

They help with altitude, yes. Chewed them in the north but I don't like the effects otherwise. Prefer to stay away from them.

[@alexreifschneider6709]

Hard on the teeth with the lime.

[@Buzzygirl63]

I just crack up when you say "ohhhh that's so naaaaaaaaaiiiis!" LOL. Equally annoying is the way us Minnesotans say "bag."

[@penpal141]

Thanks, I wondered how you spelt “naaaaaaaaaiiiis” 🤣

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

So how do youse say baag?

[@teddybear713]

TheFuzzieWuzzie we say it like baaayg

[@danielcamilleri1213]

ohhh datsssss naiiiiiceeeeee

[@NewMessage]

2:19 "What are we gonna call that new Eriosyce with the curvy spines, Bob?" "Um.. curvispina?" "... You're dead weight, Bob."

[@WayneTheSeine]

Thank god for Teddy Roosevelt or there would be condos hanging off of the Grand Canyon or crowding out the flora and fauna of Yellowstone...public very unwelcome.

[@andybaldman]

Yep. They'd all look the way Niagara Falls does now.

[@claytonp1111]

He should have gone a step further and required a 20+ mile hike to access any natl park... maybe it would thin out the hoardes of lazy inconsiderate idiots that infest the parks today

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

Clayton P ~ I’ve heard of people doing all kinds of unspeakable shit in the Nat Parks, aside from the two fat hyucking bastard Boy Scout ‘Leaders’ who knocked over that toadstool formation and found themselves in a world of well deserved shit.

[@ryPish]

39:22 This rather skeptical bird can be found inspecting dodgy human infracstucture all over the Americas, looking for abandonned barns and collapsed giant bookcases to reclaim and inhabit.

[@__hetz]

26:20 and I about choked on my coffee. It's a fast mover as far as tectonics goes. Wouldn't be surprised if it put that hubris in check in our lifetime.

[@harveyyoung2612]

I grow trichocereus chiloensis in my arid bed in London, U.K. Its so great to see mature specimens 😁🌵😁

[@junglie]

The owl was a nice bonus at the end.

[@austynross]

The structure of those Nassauvia look absolutely like they could belong in the Crassula genus, and those Violas could hang out in a Sempervivum-only bar no problem. More of that glorious convergent evolution!

[@JoveRogers97]

I thought the same! "Asteraceae my ass, that thing's gotta be Crassulaceae"

[@royahold1966]

It's always nice when one of these pops up in notifications. It makes the day go by better some how.

[@larryclark1518]

I took the time to watch you climb, listen to you opine, but I do not mind, as I find it to be fiiiine. ‘Til the next time (thyme?), I am forever indebted to you for the knowledge you share.

[@JerseyJimFish]

8:59 is why I watch this. I have ABSOLUTELY no use for it, but find it most interesting... and entertaining!😁

[@saltytech5546]

I'm planting trees because of you.

[@A7X062388]

Love your passion man! I got a passion for animals, and photography....I love to see when people put in the effort to do what they love and to educate themselves!

[@troyclayton]

Finally! I love dissecting flowers and was starting to wonder why you never pulled them apart on video. Thanks for another great video.

[@papapetad]

Kickin' rocks in the andean mountains, throwin' a coupla jabs at snow junkies and their resort architecture, chattin' up an owl. Quality video. Class act.

[@kc-gl9wv]

I enjoy your vids man, thanks 👍

[@wendysalter]

Those species are the bees knees!! Especially that tiny Lassauvia. Wonderful views... and I am totally with you on the resort freaks. You have really spiked my interest on looking for gems in the waste places (S. England) coz we have no deserts or mountains here. The horned owl at the end was incredible. Thanks for lifting my day Mr Botanist ;)

[@CR-di1lg]

Another amazing video. Thank you so much for all your work.

[@mezmarionybarra]

Ur live share was cool, thanks! Me n my husband just joined the Berkeley Botanical Gardens yearly family package, I hadn't been since I was a kid, U reminded me how Amazing it us, Thanks !!!

[@allysajones64]

The Trichocerus Chiloensis bloom was really pretty. Thanks for sharing your hikes with those of us that can't get out as often.

[@QWerty-ii6ip]

Awesome footage! My wife and I are home with flu...we love your channel. Stay well.

[@profereyes4465]

Could you do a video on the effects of the fires in Australia and how it's going to affect plant life? Also, thank you for sharing all this great content.

[@katiekane5247]

Suggest a few channels that do bat rescue down there. These important pollinators are in serious trouble. Megabattie is a good one & Toga bat hospital. The remaining plants will need the sky puppies to recover.

[@qzh00k]

Food sources for the animals left are gone. Hope humans can help, and we can.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

The fires in Australia are the beginning chapters in a huge landscape change and mass extinction that is occurring down there. Many beautiful forms will be lost. And yet Grandpa denies climate change because the talking pundits he follows on his favorite news channel and quack-science hacks on KZbin tell him it's a lie and a conspiracy by hundreds of thousands of scientists. If you have no personal investment in the evolutionary masterpieces and precious biological relics that will be lost forever, the whole phenomenon of climate change and especially climate denialism is very much amusing.

[@katiekane5247]

@Robert Phillips watch a few vids, they're amazing critters!

[@mezmarionybarra]

Ur shares are so Wonderful! Thank you !

[@djchefmark]

Loved the conversation with the Great Horned Owl.....We have Barn Owls on our property living in the Phoenix canariensis.I often have conversations with them as I collect the owl pellets for my tiny scull collection.I use the rest of the bones for garden amendment.

[@ryanmorris2479]

Because technically right is the best kind of right: The name for volcanic mud-flows is "Lahars". They leave behind those tumbled, messy, muddy deposits. A pyroclastiic flow is a super-heated gas, ash, and rock from an active eruption. They leave behind "tephra", an ash flow deposit that is often sort-of welded together (vitrified, glassy) from the heat. Anyway, thanks for all the amazing content, You are really on a roll with all these Mexico, Australia, and Atacama videos lately!

[@Hollywiththeflowers]

I’m in love with plants anyway , so when I found your channel I was made up with a downto earth view on botany. Explained in a way even a beginner can understand. No pretentious shit. Makes me wanna explore more of the world and even more of the world around me .

[@caveman420bc]

Dude, your videos are kick ass, KZbin gold. Thanks man.

[@igorjee]

Those high altitude dwarf plants are so compact and attractive. Most families are familiar, but the genera are totally different from what I see here in Hungary. It makes me slightly anxious to know that there are so many plants I will never get to know in person and by name. European plant biodiversity is not too big due to the glaciation periods sweeping the continent clean for the last 2.6 million years.

[@happyninjafighter2]

Lol i am, embarrassingly yet fortunately, one of those people that found a love in all life through psychedelics. It started with me being a polysubstance junkie and trying to add more substances, but the mushrooms made me want to get sober for myself first, then to help all life once i was better. Love yoir channel brother! Im from Arlington Heights SW of Chicago. That sad beautiful fucking big apple of concrete pollution. Anyways, im ramblin!

[@benjaminfb764]

The central zone of Chile, it is going a great drought. So it is no surprise that they find some dry bushes and affected by the lack of rains and high temperatures :(

[@michaelhockus8208]

Haha fresa is new to me, thanks for all your glorious work

[@swaddington9399]

Thank you this video and area is awesome. That dinosaur sunflower was super cool. Trying hard to memorize the terminology, I’m going to start taking notes so I can remember this shit better. Hope your well Joey, thanks for sharing your adventures and knowledge with everyone

[@PeterMJJacob]

"There's too many fancy-sensy nature boys with ponytails out there" "just a couple jabs, no right hooks, its fain its fainne" I feel personally attacked. The funny part is that most of your viewers might just be angry grandpas and fancysensy nature boys with ponytails. LOL Love the conversation with the owl. You're doing god's work. Keep up the epic videos. Easily the best on youtube.

[@margeauxmcclelland3338]

Wow! I keep a purple oxalis at my desk and I love it. I had no idea there were others that are so beautiful!

[@alohathaxted]

As a bat I can finally say thank you for mentioning that we pollinate cactus flowers.

[@cruelcimmcia859]

We've been seen.

[@snuugumz]

...uh...ohhh...for fuck’s sake, where is Dr Thompson when those bats start circling? CHECKED OUT, that’s where...

[@matildagreene1744]

Just had this wonderful vision of those monstrostic (in the OTHER dictionary) high rise buildings ..toppling over and rolling down the mountain

[@cynergy4]

I'm an old hippie, and don't have a thing for nasturtiums, would rather have natives. Sadly, the previous tenant planted nasturtiums and I have a tsunami of them each spring. Obscene is a good word for that blight on the land. Condos, sheesh! The Andes are breathtaking, thanks for taking us along! The GHO is stunning, the wolverines of the sky

[@Rachel-vz7yg]

I remember another video when you asked if folks were learning anything or if they were just listening to hear and be amused by your accent. FWIW I don't learn well from only books or only videos, I always learned best in a classroom. It's hard for me to remember scientific names by just reading them (no context for the way it sounds) or just hearing them (no context for the way it looks written down). I guess you could say I need both a visual and an audio description of something to learn it well. I appreciate how you put notes into your videos to show what things you say look like written down, and I hear "Lamiaceae", "Fabanaceae", "Asteraceae", etc. in your voice in the back of my mind when I'm looking up these things. For awhile I've been trying to learn plants native to N. Illinois and have just been going off the common names, because those names tend to be easier to remember since they build on a preexisting context (i.e., Cardinal flower is red, cardinal birds are red) but you've helped me build a new context for phylogenetic classification (cardinal flower is a lobelia, this other blue flower is a lobelia, this white flower is a lobelia, and here are the ways they are similar). Because you keep using the scientific names and giving simple descriptions, and the repetition reinforces the information. Anyway as long as you like making the videos I'm an example of someone who's actually getting something out of them. So thanks for taking the time to do it.

[@tmacmillan4066]

Thanks for another interesting video. Viewing all of the different flower shapes, colors (some of which we of course can’t see), and sizes, do you ever think about doing a complementary study of pollinators, since they seem to drive some of this variety?

[@deepgardening]

So nice to see and hear of old friends, Puya, Trichocereus, Mutisia, Erythroxylon and the rest.

[@anotherluckydad]

Loving the nightshade over here. It's amazing how something so purdy' can be so deadly.

[@tephlon-wrap7185]

For the record, repetition with the vocabulary words is super helpful for me. I got Latin for gardeners and a botanists vocabulary but hearing even the simple words getting applied in the field is super useful

[@thedudegrowsfood284]

Thank you for posting the list of Botany texts!

[@insanelymundaneproductions7169]

Hey Tony! I love you you bastard. I bought a book on rocks because of you. It came with some neat flash cards. My friends hate me now! come back to Australia sometime, when it grows back.

[@RSxMVxSN]

love taking inspiration from this fever dream of a biology video! ;p

[@catdimond1996]

feeling so called out over my hippy nasturtiums haha! I like them because you can eat the flowers and they taste peppery. Also the butterflies and aphids go for them and not my other plants :) I am trying to grow some birch seeds and branch out though. Love your videos

[@SteveIgnat]

Thoroughly entertaining, sir.

[@mrpieceofwork]

Hippies: Nasturtium! You can eat it! Me: (Chewing on some snow peas...) Why?

[@deepgardening]

The flowers are a great contrasting combo of flavors is why. They go just fine with snow peas too. But those wild nasturtium species might be a bit strong!

[@carboxysome2630]

I just want to thank you for the source for those free botany books!

[@junglie]

Wow! 21 mins before you nearly broke yer ass, thats gotta be a record in that terrain....Good video keep up the good work.

[@ARGOS-THOR]

what a great intro shot lmao

[@vmr6771]

You need to visit north all the way to Perú , Ecuador and Colombia. You'll be surprised on the beautiful rain forrests and the plants oozing from every nook and cranny.

[@mykneegrow]

Great videos !

[@antonstegen1737]

You out did yourself on this one. Love your videos. From grumpy old grandpa😁

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Took me a while to figure out if you were antagonizing me or not. The Chicagoan in me wanted to get defensive and pissed off thinking "os this guy fucking with me?", then I looked up what "outdid yourself" means and realized it was a compliment. So I'm a jackass, and thank you 😂.

[@dage316]

Yes you're absolutely correct I got my love and interest for Plants when i found a plant that contains thc

[@jizzer6969]

"I'm so hyped up on Yerba I can't even hold this fucking flower straight"....😆

[@penpal141]

“Normies” 😂

[@samueleclarke7736]

What?.. 1400 views and only 176 likes?.. Come on people.. Educational, Entertaining and chock full of useful insults, all this for free.. Go on give it a thumbs up.

[@demonorse]

Grandiosity is in the eye of the beholder.

[@waskozoids]

40:04 , man that landscape is amazing.

[@TheFuzzieWuzzie]

Who in the hell is gonna live there or even vacation there?! It would be like living on the moon, ffs.

[@ElxCriiO]

you're so nice man, keep educating

[@KJ-vt4yj]

Favorites from this video are the viola philippii and the nassauvia lagascae. Just a note to myself. (Thanks for the education)

[@SaraJean85]

Curvass?? Like dat?! 🌵🎶you can take ur cactus to the movies if u want to....🎶🌵

[@sheikie]

I just saw the short documentary about you and if you got someone to film you while you talked it would beef up your content because you are a natural in front of the camera

[@alonsosepulvedavega3774]

love the fact you roasting fresas, but down here we call em cuicos

[@arnoldmmbb]

thanks for the video tony!

[@kristinkulman3221]

Amazing! Thanks.

[@thelaughingtiger146]

So beautiful! I can't believe you got that close to the owl! (What did he say off the record?) Thank you

[@DavidArcuri]

I know you're looking at the ground but Jesus the views are fucking beautiful, thanks for showing them too

[@camerongraves8398]

Your videos are a beam of light on my bleak day to day life. take it from me housing your grandma is the worst idea ever.

[@dancarrigan5039]

Thank you. I’ll definitely start nursing a fetish for the asteraceae.

[@SetTheCurve]

This guy knows more about Andean botany than I know about the weeds in my own yard 😖 wish I knew how to start knowing stuff like this.

[@wendysalter]

You just did

[@AdrianHepburn-vz9yr]

6 vegetables disliked this video. Could be the next flora to be assessed.

[@richm70]

Any idea of the name of the ski resort? Or lat/lon, just looking for the spot on google earth. Nice video, beautiful spot.

[@grantraynard]

Repeat, repeat, repeat... the only way I'll learn!

[@thesonicbunker477]

GOOD MORNING from here, Tony

[@willi-fg2dh]

you forgot to mention one thing about pyroclastic flows . . . those rocks rushing down at you at 100mph . . . ARE ON FIRE!!!!!

[@calamagrostis88]

I wonder if you have any thoughts about the evolution of flower color and morphology. It seems like there might be some form that would be the most effective in attracting pollinators and that most plants would converge on that form, but instead we have all this diversity. Are these forms just historical accidents, or are they catering too the diversity of pollinators?

[@CHASRIZM]

Hahaha this was a good one. Your full of it lol in a good way

[@juanjuri6127]

If you're ever back to north-central Chile, I hear the fruit of the acacia caven is traditionally brewed into a type of 'coffee'. It's hard to come by for sale since the tree itself isn't considered good for much more than charcoal, but can't be worse than Nescafé

[@jeankaiwi4522]

Oh, god, I'm totally addicted.

[@CynicalScientist261]

Great vid keep it up.

[@kimberawification13]

I can't stop thinking about the nescafe thing...instant like the machines at the gas station?? I looked it up and that's what it seems like... I just got the Mr Coffee café barista, it makes real espresso and froths milk for latte or capp, puts it right in the cup for you! Not much more than the Nescafe, works great! Every time someone mentions coffee I want to make some...I guess its a habit! Thanks for the vulgar descriptions, your channel feels normal for me! You might be interested in the group I help admin on facebook, Psychedelics & Philosophy....if you aren't already a member LOL ;)

[@FrankFactor]

It's ok if you repeat the same info/terms. Its helping me learn this stuff

[@talanigreywolf7110]

You need to do an episode on the cholla cactus, a.k.a. jump out and getcha plant, otherwise known as "Ow-ow-ouch!"

[@k33k32]

those violets and sunflowers look almost exactly the same to me - thanks for the ID'ing; and the knowledgeable entertainment...edutainment ..garg i hate that word.

[@seanclapper9965]

Such incredible biodiversity at all the various elevations in the Andes where Tony is. As dry as it is and yet so many botanical wonders. I liked the desert before, and now the more I watch on this channel the more i want to plan a trip somewhere like the Andes. Time to check out the Guyana highlands and the botanical beauties that grow there while you sit at home washing your ass!

[@peggyhuddleston2509]

Thank you!

[@Something-behind-you]

Oof, those are some ugly buildings.

[@jesusxsmn]

Token abuelita plant is absolutely spot-on to describe brugmansia lmao

[@CPickswell]

Those condos on the mountain at 22:52 will make some bizarre ruins one day.

[@JefesGarden]

Owl knows what's up. He winked at you ;)

[@earsybun]

my new Tinder bio: "Don't you just want to study non human life on Earth? You don't see any redeeming quality in it? What do you get into, video games, cars? What the fuck."

[@KendrickMan]

Nazca plates' one of my few friends in life apparently.

[@Nhoj31neirbo47]

(36:20) - The best video of the flora of the Guiana Highlands and Tepuis, aka tabletop mountains, that I’ve found on yt is titled; Tepuis of the Venezuelan Guiana Shield. I’ve got it on my ‘Nature’s Garden #2’ playlist.

[@matambale]

Guessing that off camera, that owl told you to GFY. He looked miffed.