No One is Born with Self-Confidence | Simon Sinek

[@PracticalInspiration]

You have a problem, but you aren't the problem. Some really important words there from Simon

[@scotttovey]

Yes, BUT! If a person is, rather than making mistakes; being malicious and intentionally working to sabotage you, that person is the problem. A wise person, understands the difference and eliminates the problem.

[@thenitpicker911]

Scott Tovey the statement is still true at some level, those people you mentioned they have mental problem embedded so deep into their brain. But now the question is if its worth the effort to help them and if you are capable to do so

[@scotttovey]

@@thenitpicker911 "those people you mentioned they have mental problem embedded so deep into their brain." Let us be clear; all people have the same embedded problem, it is called sin. The Bible tells us that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. There is none righteous no not one." Despite this being the case, we are not to have so much empathy with those that refuse to abide by ethical and moral standards that they do not bear the consequences of their actions. There is a big difference between a person acting out of fear; such as Simon's assistant, and a person acting out of malevolent maliciousness. I heard on the radio this morning that the leftest AOC claimed that the democratic party is conservative. They are not conservative, they are leftist, marxist, socialist communist. They are evil people seeking to rob people of their rights all the while claiming to be pro America, they stand for everything that is antithetical to everything that is America. While one may duly argue that such as these are mentally diminished and support said argument with all the lies that those such as AOC tell, the fact that they are mentally diminished does not justify giving them any sort of assistance in pursuing their clear and obvious goal of destroying the Constitution of the United States and following a design to reduce the people under absolute Despotism which is their clearly stated goal. The point here is: if you cannot tell the difference, you cannot give that person the assistance they need. Regardless of which category the person falls under, you, due to your inability to discern the difference, will have to let them go. So we are clear: if I came across a situation where an employee was clearly and habitually lying to me about their mistakes; that employee would cease to be my employee. I'm going to err on the side of protecting myself and my company, not trying to help that individual, as that individual could intentionally violate regulations and set the company up for hefty fines all the while declaring compliance with the law. Lies can kill, as such, I'm real touchy when it comes to people lying to me.

[@scotttovey]

@Jessica Marie Baumgartner "if you focus on the issue and working to fix it people move forward." Not always. Addicts will continue to opt for their addiction rather than moving forward and recovering until they hit the proverbial "rock bottom". And some people will opt to be worse than they were because they were told to correct their bad behavior. Then there are those people that fall under the heading of: "You can't fix stupid!" I can't read into people's minds or their souls, so I will always err on the side of caution which is to say; I will always respond in such a way that will protect myself and those depending on me, from the bad behavior. The problem here is that you prefer to keep giving people the benefit of the doubt. A couple of police officers, and three or four others ended up dead because they did not arrest an individual that kept calling in a false report to 911. He called in the last false report, shot the two responding officers and then set fire to the house killing all occupants inside. "When you reprimand someone as if that is all they are it ruins their ability to grow and improve," Not focusing on what is bad behavior and informing them of what is bad behavior, can and will do a great deal of harm to the moral of the staff. If they do not feel that you have their back, as opposed to that the one that has bad behavior, their attitude and outlook will suffer. Whether one can give an individual time to grow up and move on is highly dependent upon the level of bad behavior that is being displayed. The person being reprimanded for bad behavior is not a victim. Those that witness and experience that bad behavior are victims. While one may sympathize or empathize if the one acting out was victimized in their past, that fact does not warrant, permit or allow the that individual to subsequently act out and victimize others. You may be sympathetic to the abuse the one acting out has suffered. That sympathy does not grant you the license, authority or right to insist that those being victimized by the abusive acting out, continue to be victimized and suffer abuse while you work to help their abuser grow and move on. You won't keep good employees by doing that.

[@scotttovey]

@@Trumpisthevillageidiot "you fully disregard the 10 commandments and 80% of the bible but only apply the convenient parts that make you think you're justified or correct." Yet, you have not quoted a single one of those commandments that you accuse me of. Needless to say, you are the last person on planet earth I would take advice from let alone one of the pastors that received assistance from me, yet would not give assistance to me. My believing in Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God does not make me better, it makes me redeemed, washed by the blood of the Lamb, and with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, empowered to successfully grow and be transformed into that image of Christ that my heavenly Father desires me to be. You clearly have not read enough of the Bible to understand that clearly spelled out message within its pages. Repent therefore, and believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation and remission of sins, and the Lord will remove the blinders that are so evidently; blinding your eyes. John 3:16: For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17: For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18: He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19: And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20: For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21: But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. Romans 8:29: For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Romans 12:2: And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 1Corinthians 15:47: The first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is the Lord from heaven. 48: As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly. 49: And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly. 50: Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption. 51: Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 52: In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53: For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54: So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. 55: O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? 56: The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. 57: But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58: Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

[@halfbee7886]

Getting yelled at when you make mistakes, but being ignored when you make contributions, will lead you to find out more ways to lie.

[@cheapskateotaku7123]

So true! currently I'm working in my new job and my reporting manager would choose to not tell me anything when ever she ask me to do something. So I will do what I can and feel it is right with the given assignment and she would reply and say it is not right or wrong. She use words like, if you do not know, why don't you ask or check with me. Where when I approached her to ask her the job or just wanting to confirmed the work I do, she would use words like don't you know how to think for yourself. Every day, when ever I want to ask something, I have to see her mood. Because when I make a mistake she would yelled at me in public or when it is right, she will just ignore and stated that I did not comment anything means it is right. In the end, I have to lie just so that she will proceed to not yelled too long. Your comment is just damn relatable XD

[@8koi139]

Welp that explains a lot about myself actually

[@weavorjjohanna5619]

i love this quote, save it for a near future

[@moatasemkassab4517]

Fuck, I relate to this

[@krishnarajg2778]

We are sooooo LUCKY...... to have someone like this on earth.

[@sheikfareed8012]

But who on earth did DISLIKE him bro? 🙄😑

[@pazzodi3]

@Tokero Peterson needs a lot of self reflection.. many times that man is lost in acceptance of things he doesn't understand, to judgemental.. he needs to relax a bit more

[@WillKlein]

@@sheikfareed8012 The bossy bosses that like to yell and abuse others.

[@wethdtdi]

"If you face your fears you will realize it’s not that big. Once you face it, you will realize you spent all this time running from it when it was so small. Energy is never lost it’s transferred, that negative energy, that fear destroyed comes back in as confidence"

[@aaronglanville8430]

Love Greg Plitt

[@8thMusketeer]

Why can't more people be like him

[@AnnabellaRedwood]

Exactly!

[@Youbeentagged]

I like what we have right now. People belittling others for mistakes allowes other leaders to rise and take their place. That just makes it much more satisfying, to see someone you hate loosing to someone you love.

[@utkarshgajal8066]

Maybe because of our attitude... We tend to ask "why can't more people be like him" whereas we should ask "why we can't be more like him".

[@molnarcsaba3537]

You have to born like him,that's why.

[@ROMANEMPIRE69]

Parents, grandparents, teachers, siblings, all destroyed me out the gate. Been one hell of a challenge moving forward. Still to this day every day I learn more and more.

[@OAB9282]

Man I wish I had people like you in my life when I was young.

[@dianewiegel7136]

i learned this early on, telling a very calm boss I had that I made a mistake and he smiled and said calmly , just do it over. Owning our mistakes is priceless with caring people.

[@pppinto97]

The fact that Simon needs to say this loud speaks the fact the almost 99% of the people do the opposite. Associate problem with the employee & destroy the employee. A built employee gives better productivity & commands loyalty

[@OlivePopeyeRed]

I wish someone told me this before. I struggled with confidence after my 5 years relationship ended. Couldn't figure it out how when why. Then I realized I was vulnerable with my partner all along and he was not empathetic at all, and I would always end up feeling ashamed of myself. As a result, my self worth just lessen day by day.

[@acoolducksloveryeahweexist]

Sending love and hugs your way 💖

[@pfontanesi]

Beautiful: "we have a problem, you are not the problem"

[@robertpiang6793]

You're absolutely right! This resonates with my own experiences. When people are constantly subjected to criticism, their confidence is eroded, leading them to resort to lying in an attempt to avoid further blame. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is common in our lives. As Simon Sinek wisely pointed out, the key is to remember that while we may encounter problems, we ourselves are not the root of the problem. I find immense inspiration in this quote. Indeed, cultivating confidence can be challenging, while undermining it often happens effortlessly, as confidence stems from encouragement and support.

[@VoidDragon82]

I was with a company for 12 years, from customer service advisor to upper management. I struggled to lie when I messed up, and I refused to ask for help (at the beginning) because I didn’t want to seem incompetent. As I grew and had my own little team and trained them, I always said; “I don’t care if you mess up, what I do care about is if you lie to me and don’t ask for help”. When I became GM I kept that mind set, almost like a motto, which I made sure my teams understood that; mistakes and normal and asking for help is normal. Build people up. Genuinely care about them. We can’t do things alone, we need each other.

[@rhyg3344]

This video speaks to me as a student who struggles with teamwork. When I made a mistake on a PowerPoint slide show, the team leader would shout at me. I'm gradually becoming frightened to make powerpoint presentations. But now, thanks to the assistance of other team members from different projects, I've learned how to create a fantastic powerpoint presentation that is relevant to the topic at hand. She has helped me to gain confidence.

[@DavidChandra]

Scolding after scolding for each mistake that I did, make me lost of confidence

[@naynikag7792]

I relate to this - being scolded or pointed out for a mistake made me combative and bitter, but at the same time, it chipped away at my confidence. It's important to acknowledge our mistakes but also surround ourselves with the right ppl

[@IA10105]

Scold when making mistake and no appreciation when doing something right for so long I dont even know what I'm doing anymore I cant even make a decision for my own

[@AgentZero-00]

@Megha Shastry frrrrr

[@naynikag7792]

I'm struggling a bit with self-confidence at the moment, but this has helped me see my problems more clearly and take action. Thanks Simon

[@lethargic_cow]

Everything in our life is connected. Our hometown, our upbringing, our schools, best friends... It's good to reflect on things every once in a while 😊

[@naynikag7792]

@@lethargic_cow True, I've had self-confidence issues in these areas of my life, but they've also shaped my personality and helped me become a better person today. Thank you Hatem for your insight 😊

[@lethargic_cow]

@@naynikag7792 happy to hear so Naynika. Sending you positive vibes in these tough times. Stay safe & always remember to smile 😊👌🏼

[@naynikag7792]

@@lethargic_cow Same to you 👊

[@johnnylovesannie]

I can so related to this - 11 years in a job that systematically chipped away at my confidence. Now redundancy is making me look at the positives that I can take from that job - they are there, just buried under a history of slow-death of my confidence. Thanks.

[@chirag1764]

You can do it buddy!!! I believe in you

[@RozzzaSsarcasmo]

I know this is about the workplace and professional relationships but I take a lot of this and feel that it applies to my personal relationships and friendships and how upbringings and how being honest or open has affected my self-confidence. That line about "we don't know what kind of trouble they got into before for being honest" made me think about times where I've been honest about myself and it gets used as an opportunity for people to hurt/ridicule me and then dampens my self-confidence and trust

[@HungryEagle2610]

Thank you! This simple thing helps a lot. It intrigues me how you have the ability to imbibe ideas in people's minds by merely using 3-4 lines. Another of one of your speeches which awed me was in which you asked the audience to place a "yet" after every negative sentence to make it positive. For ex. Instead of "I can't do this, I am not made for this" you say "I can't do this yet, I am not made for this yet" Gives a lot of self hope. A simple 3 letter word. Stll powerful enough to drive a person. Simple and beautiful! Love your speeches.

[@VillageofMurderers]

Thank you for telling me that I have a Problem But I am the Solution.

[@vdigit]

Your way of promoting empathy has touched my heart and lessened the loneliness in my attempting it. Thank you 💜

[@AnnabellaRedwood]

Sending hugs your way Vanessa xx

[@ninadnagpure880]

I just LOVE this Human Being..! Would Love to work for a leader like him, who cares for his employees...

[@davidramsey118]

If this guy was a drummer his name would be Neil Peart. This guy is writing the next earthly manual on life! Such an inspiration!

[@marianapretti2866]

I really love your work. You inspire me so much and give me hope leaders can be better! Thank you!!!

We might not be born with confidence, but we aren't born with insecurity either. There are instinctive fears of course, but we grow up and learn a lot of things, how to handle different situations and what we're good or bad at. I do have confidence in things i find to have control over, even if i'm not always good at them. But when i can't be good enough in something, no matter how hard I try, that will burn the last pieces of confidence in that area of life. This speech sounds great, but yeah... there are times when i am the problem.

[@thabanemhlongo8888]

not comforting words but true

[@Kazy_Tkg]

0:12 you said everything !

[@ramanmehta3619]

I simply love ur words.Brings tear to my eyes.

[@avanskow9302]

Simon, just want to tell you, your insight and explaination of modern society is enlightening for me. I am grateful for your sharing.

[@lakshmikishoreadapala1150]

Exactly. People have problems. They are not the problems... Fantastic Simon, as usual. Cheers.

[@AliIqbal]

Well done Simon.... Love your voice.... Please make more content on Self Confidence.

[@Shiva_Yaram]

I remember you saying that sometimes we are the problem and take accountability for that as well and i accept this more than that we are not problem, we have problems. I mean the first one makes more sense to me and yes its not always you have problems or you are the problem, its different from time to time. Thank you Simen❤️

[@codacreator6162]

50 times is precisely why we need leaders like Simon. I wouldn't get 5 chances. I like to use the NFL as a model for the way leadership can be observed, when it works and when it doesn't because it's so visible. Say what you will about Jerry Jones keeping Jason Garrett for as long as he did. He understands that a winning team is not a recipe, that you can't keep starting over with a new mix of players and coaches every year and have anything like cohesion come from it. A team, like a great recipe, takes time and care to develop. There are no short cuts. Tom Brady in a different scheme, with a different coach, might never have become the player he is. Greatness doesn't flourish despite its leadership, it flourishes because of it.

[@AFuller2020]

coda creator He’s a law student and self help guru, is that being a leader?

[@AFuller2020]

coda creator Have you ever tried to build a team with current crop of ingredients? Good luck and make a video of your findings.

[@monnaojangsenye3095]

You add up my level of see things in a right way not in different ways but right way, you are not only an eye opener, you are a LAW to be followed, thanks my very good sir

[@khaleedprottoy4840]

The way you see things sir is really amazing.

[@angeliqueopoue7263]

Merci pour le partage ! J’ai un grand respect pour ta Soeur ❤️

[@erwincuellar5806]

Except for the Russian Dancing kid (the one with shades in the club). That guy was born with confidence.

[@swetasinghsonee1314]

true story :)

[@blacksheepwall79]

Stop trying to build your self confidence. Build your self competence and confidence becomes a natural outgrowth.

[@setntando3871]

Fact

[@nandu1770]

What is self competence?

[@blacksheepwall79]

@@nandu1770 Being capable is the best way to be confident.

[@Fujtajblus]

Whoever wants to have kids, they absolutely need to obey this. And approach it the same way as Mr. Sinek describes here.

[@sarkarabhik]

Just what I needed to hear this morning...

[@soniahachemi4025]

It's a hard task for a loyal boss, how to solve the problem of mistakes, I find solutions thanks to you Sir : I was helped thinking about your posts : Be a giver, Be the boss you want to have, Let's help each other, Leaders eat last.. & today : Employees are not the problem BUT they HAVE a problem 🌺 Thank you SO MUCH 🙏🌺🌺!!!

[@toinspirando7591]

Às vezes a pessoa é o problema,outras vezes,ela tem um problema. Gratidão por compartilhar.

[@path_ethics]

I just love this guy.

[@joelwilliams9636]

Thanks for these words, some people are really part of that society that make you feel like you're the problem

[@dancole2994]

Too often an unideal behaviour is misunderstood and then the behaviour is associated to who we are, and told enough times we adopt the identity.

[@ngoziebenezer8028]

Thank you Simon for this video. It's changed a lot about my perspective.

[@acotnoir]

I'm so late finding this but THIS IS SO GREAT!!

[@emilygowor]

Always love a Simon video!

[@mikemuragemi6]

This made me relax a bit

[@ash.b9829]

I love this guy 💪❤

[@Prando34]

Absolutely true. I often self doubt and hesitate with decisions and now that I'm older, I noticed the behaviour came from my upbringing and the people around me. I feel way more confident when someone I trust gives me their backing and reassures me they'll be there if I stuff up

[@sohanughosh]

Wow! A whole different way of thinking. You're great Simon.

[@saratanartist]

Thank you, Simon.

[@awadelrahman]

I feel the opposite is right. We are born with self confidence which is then affected by how we are raised either by degrading it with negativity or keeping it at that same level at which we born with..

[@JamesMakesFilms]

I wish more bosses/managers had Simon's approach.

[@angeliqueopoue7263]

Ta Soeur est ici , je ne peux pas parler ! J’ai honte 🙈 de ta Soeur ! Je lui donne tout mon respect ❤️

[@soundsfromtheneighborhood]

Great as always, and nice outro music!

[@VacationImpossible]

More people need to see this

[@cparedes2302]

Excellent! Many thanks for posting such a video.

[@ConfidentFitness]

if it was truly 50 times he's had to do that with that person, he has an insane amount of patience and is a saint, because that is going above and beyond for that person and that person was definitely becoming a detriment.

[@Happinessandhealth1]

Ten stars! TY!

[@pawelzabicki7785]

Everyone is borned with a self confidence, you’re being stripped away of it throughout your life.

[@Jasonkenny-]

I had a manager who is still to this day destroying his teams confidence, not allowing them to make decisions, keeping them in the dark. I think he does so because he is lacking in confidence and is scared he will get found out for being a bad manager. He has burned through so many managers that you have to believe eventually his boss will see through it but as is the case with these things, they stem from above.

[@nadlena]

Same happened to me at my former employer. I’m thankful for the experience, but they are jerks with sick leadership behaviour. And yeah, it took a while to recover my confidence. Thanks for your speech, Simon

[@paulmathew2373]

Man I love you

[@samnkemdirimagoha]

Great and powerful, NA we Dey Here from Munich Doings

[@codynielsen305]

I agree with most of this but I do believe we are sometimes the problem and need to improve ourselves. Sometimes no one else can do anything but us.

[@mirayadingabay5520]

THE WORLD SOMETIMES IS INJUSTICE WHEN YOU PUT YOUR HEART AND SOUL IN EVERYTHING YOU DO, IN JOBS WITH PARENTS AND BROTHERS NEVER GET APPRECIATION LIKE YOU ARE INVISIBLE AND HURTS YOU N MANY WAYS, THE LAZY AND THE PROBLEMATIC ONE IS REWARDED N EVERY WAY, SO IT DESTROY YOUR TRUST. I LIVE AND DO THINGS WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS FROM PEOPLE.

[@vitiate7750]

Babies have endless confidence!

[@karishmabagla4956]

❤️

[@muneerdeen6390]

I am in same situation. My boss joined 5 months ago. In my 19 year experience first time i feel i am useless and afraid to talk in office with my peers. My confidence has been completely annihilated even to do a smallest task.

[@Zemohc]

Trying to get into law enforcement here. I think this is totally applicable to this line of work. At least it should be. People need to learn from their mistakes. Not get beaten to a pulp whether quite literally or through financial or restrictive hardships.

[@vanshikbhatia8183]

The moment I saw your channel I subscribed 😄😄😄😄🤗🤗🤗

[@sevincmemmedova6758]

Thank you

[@stevenoverlord]

This is gold

[@divyamurugesan5557]

One of your great Talk. 👌👍

[@thaizahonorato]

This a really nice video. Sometimes,I get worried and scared to make a mistake. Now,I'm always gonna remember these words. Thank you

[@nguyenhoainam9602]

really helpful, tks Simon!

[@Auj-n7j]

Great speech

[@worldrider9087]

I wish fixing broken people like that cost less energy or we could somehow recharge ourselves like awesome SUPERCAPACITORS! Mentioned for inspiration.

[@kill3rbyysight]

yes people do born with tons of confidence...

[@lisah1687]

So true

[@walaaleid5850]

I beg to differ, I have twin sons, one is a fearless daredevil and has been that way since birth, while the other is careful and a less confident. They just turned 3 and it was clear from birth that most of their personality traits are born with them.

[@justatallguy]

I don't think his talk negates personality traits that are genetic. I think there are many reasons why someone will be confident, and some of them are from birth, while others are environmental. It may take more or less to destroy or built the self confidence of a person based on their original personality. Hhis point is that, when you are working with people in companies, you don't know. You don't know which of your twins you are dealing with, if it's the "fearless daredevil" or if it's the "careful and less confident". You don't know their personality, you don't know how confident they are. So you need empathy to find it, and build it up to where they need, and you will have a better team member.

[@sergebyishimo4121]

i needed this so much!

[@gc8972b]

I feel I'm starting to distinguish self-confidence from arrogance and the difference between both is brutal when you make mistakes

[@sukhvindersingh5079]

Some very WISE words from Simon. I am not sure how many bosses practice it. Lucky to have a boss like Simon. You have a problem and you are not the problem - So we should not ATTACH it to people. Like - I am SAD or I am feeling SADNESS. These are two different feelings. I am SAD is like you are attached to your Sadness and I am feeling Sadness is like you are keeping a distance. :-)

[@Sara-tp6zd]

Glad you got your own channel

[@ynaartsasyouliveandbreathe3533]

"You HAVE a problem, you ARE NOT the problem". Based on his past talks, this only holds true if you're not a leader, because if you are, then every problem that comes up, especially a behavioral one, is your fault because you're not leading the right way. If you listen to his other talks, the example he gives here would be reframed against the leader under the "your people do not trust you" and "you should be coaching this person" banner. In reality, no leader worth his salt gives an employee that many second chances because a person who lies all the time and has emotional reactions when caught cannot be trusted, irrespective of where that comes from and sooner or later it will affect the team and the whole working environment. Sure, have compassion and invest in your people. But integrity isn't exclusively a leader's obligation. As a matter of fact, you're doing your whole team a disservice by protecting this individual ad nauseum.

[@matheusalves3256]

Awesome!!

[@VJNIKS]

Superbly explained ✌🏻🙏🏻 No one is born with confidence it's developed !✌🏻 You are not problem you have a problem !

[@janhippo97]

Straight facts right there

[@julibar5598]

So true 🖤

[@NehaSingh-ty2vk]

Before I can help anyone I need help for my self confidence.🙂✌️

[@amaymankad121]

I have had my confidemce destroyed in a Corporate environment. By not being yelled at but in chaotic environment where it was high stress and high pressure environment that had run the theories from the 90s

[@Jonas-gl9ke]

It’s easy to conflate self-confidence with self- esteem. Self confidence is a belief in your abilities and self-esteem is a belief in your inherent value. Self-esteem is determined through an assessment of your “Big 5” personality traits and is measured as the amount of extraversion minus the amount of neuroticism. It is difficult to make large changes in this value especially in adulthood. Self-confidence can be improved from voluntarily facing your fears, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, improving your skills, etc. Is Simon really telling us something most people don’t already know?

[@unzahid]

powerful.

[@Nesdude42]

Like how we can love a person but hate some of their behaviors. We have a problem with the behaviors, not the person.

[@XXveny]

What if we all are born with self-confidence and actually lose it during very young age because of how people treat us? Is self-confidence something to be learned? Or is the lack of self-confidence something we learned and we need to get rid of later? I mean yea, basically until the adulthood (sometimes even later) most people treat us unequaly as "too young to know" or "too young to understand" or "the one who did not achieve anything". And later, we are just trying to get it back, to prove everyone (including ourselves) that we are worthy and equal and not worse than others.

[@DannyDierickx]

This is also my believe. We are born WITH self-confidence, there's no doubt about that. Look at what things kids do at young age, thinking they're going to get away with and in some cases falling down, getting hurt. If you've got something around you that doesn't judge you but explains things, then you won't loose self-confidence and you'll learn for the future. On the other hand if you only have someone that only criticises you all the time, telling you you're stupid, that will break down you're self-confidence. I'd like to include a comment from my shrink (15+ yrs ago) , you've got 2 types of confidences. You've can be like a crab (or so) with a hard outer shell to protect the soft insides. Or you can be like other animals (or humans) with a central strong structure and the soft tissue on the outside. From what I learned (for me) it's better to have a strong core (self-confidence, my new self) , than protect yourself with a hard shell (my old self) . Once i learned that my life completely turned around for the better.

[@suwan1986]

i am not the problem, i have a problem... thanks!

[@MrRoboto81]

The problem, though, is that today’s workplace has been infected by the “instant gratification” bug. Employers aren’t interested in developing or investing in someone because they think that person is just going to leave in 2-3 years anyway. So now, they want people who can hit the ground running and be perfect all the time. And when somebody makes a mistake, it’s an immediate final warning. A second mistake is instant termination. So it’s no surprise that people are terrified to admit they made a mistake, because they know once they do, they will immediately have a target on their back. Source: my own personal experience

[@JesusGarciaParrado]

💡

[@nickolayzaytsev]

Actually everyone is born with self confidence 😀 Small children, like animals, never question their actions or deeds. Self confidence is tuned and sometimes destroyed by society.