No More Jockeys: Live - Game 3 [08.04.21] (with Alex Horne, Tim Key + Mark Watson)

This is an edited version of a game originally streamed live. No More Jockeys is a game created by Alex Horne, Tim Key and Mark Watson.
✔ HOW TO PLAY
On each turn, players name a person plus a category they fall under. That person and category are then eliminated, and subsequent people must not fall under that category. As more categories are added it gets harder, and eventually impossible, to name anyone new.
★ TWITTER
/ alexhorne
/ timkeyperson
/ watsoncomedian
★ MERCHANDISE
teespring.com/...
♫ MUSIC
Suite bergamasque (L. 75) (Debussy)
► VIDEO
Alex Horne + Haiminh Le
♥ THANKS
Josh Barker + Morgan Davies
#AlexHorne #TimKey #MarkWatson

[@meganrussell3596]

Tim calling Alex ‘Honey’ brings me so much joy.

[@leona6455]

My favourite thing in this whole world is Key's very heartfelt head movements when he's singing...

[@cameronhall3168]

Shame that Tim couldn't make it to this one; but didn't expect Sir Elton John to be his replacement - and a great game by him too.

[@SteRDLK]

Shame that Alex couldn't make it to this one, but didn't expect Alexis Taylor from Hot Chip to be his replacement.

[@Azeria]

mark was great though

[@Jayk-kz7sh]

This was my first show i attended. The chaos from Horne’s nose bleed, and everyone below the line going “first blood! No more jockeys is a blood sport now!” was absolutely brilliant. Definitely a Thursday night i’ll remember fondly! 😄

[@franksimon8375]

Me too, I fell genuinely robbed by missing game 2 though

[@judasboogie]

Bop bop - pool of Horne blood

[@mister_scott]

I’ll tell you this from Below the Line: when the 15-second stationery challenge is finally an event in the Olympics, Britain will take the gold.

[@Jambobist]

Maybe in the first couple of Olympics after it's introduction, but as soon as the Chinese and Russians start training their kids to root out stationary from an early age it's all over.

[@SteRDLK]

He was knackered after four trips, we'd be completely fucked.

[@reelkonversationswithryank4945]

@@Jambobist - Many things are stationary but I think you would be hard pressed to find something that was stationary which is also stationery. For if it was indeed stationary, could Mr. Key transport it to in front of his camera from it's previous location?

[@drwoo6090]

As long as we have a Key player!

[@mightymiffed]

I’m almost certain he bring an arch lever folder initially

[@Monanarchist]

I'll tell you one thing, there's a lot of talk about all the money in the sport, but you have to admit Key deserves as much as any player in the league. He's one of the 15 second stationary greats.

[@keytostart7053]

Key is the Ronnie O'Sullivan of 15 second stationary

[@mister_scott]

Key is the Penelope Pitstop of 15-second stationery challenge. With gloves!

[@reelkonversationswithryank4945]

To define key as a stationary great, would defy the concept that he had to run and return with the declared item of stationery. I would call him one of the mobile greats of stationery.

[@WaunGronChampion]

Big fan of the stationary game during this episode

[@tombeast17]

I think Tipex would have done him 🤔

[@VideoNozoki]

@@tombeast17 : That is because Key doesn't make mistakes that he's willing to admit

[@ontariobeer5644]

Anyone else want to see Key's laminator?

[@valerieholt4057]

It's the king of the stationery

[@reelkonversationswithryank4945]

@@valerieholt4057 - Excellent Taskmaster reference.

[@NoukSilver]

This looks like a 90s boy band fallen on hard times. Tim's still a heart-throb though.

[@leona6455]

You couldn't be more correct with this assessment 👏

[@neilmeadowcroft7569]

The look of joy on Key's face when Watto said "stapler!".

[@morganonmonday]

I would let Mark compose and sing a soundtrack of my every activity.

[@Jonathan_Finch]

Two years later and here I am still wondering if Penelope pit stop is over 50 years old

[@bearhustler]

While my son was doing his homework this week I found myself involuntarily singing 'don't look at your bookshelf, don't look at your books' at him. Didn't go down well.

[@johnjames2397]

Try to have zero looks

[@danielcooper8964]

During his biology homework, just start mumbling "does a spider have a heart" at him

[@alecsoutham2028]

“Haven’t done the challenge jet” deserved more

[@johnjames2397]

Have a great day below the line, above the line, wherever you are in the world.

[@petergilbert7106]

are those unicorn mugs now Job Mugs?

[@JoQeZzZ]

I said it before and I'll say it again. A prop plane is not, your friend and mine, a jet

[@JamesCalbraith]

Also, jets can be quite small. There are, in fact, after all is said and done, jet microlights.

[@izzyw2089]

Glad the art submission hype made it in. Another fantastic job by, your friend and mine, Haiminh. (and Key, Watto and Hancock, as well, of course). Looking forward to the decider edit!

[@passonyourpostcode]

*Boggle ;)

[@izzyw2089]

@@passonyourpostcode maybe I was thinking of old Techno Jizz 🤔... There's so many players it can get confusing sometimes 😄

[@JoLum_doesnt_eat_cheese_a_lot]

feeling really honoured to be in the edit! i was sure theyd cut it out 😅

[@MrListentoeverything]

On Wednesday imagine my amazement to pass Watson and Horne and Key exit a fashionable west London pub. I cycled up to ambush and say NMJ was great. I'm worried I got it wrong but I hope you had a lovely evening. Below the line is all around us 🧘

[@biquinetto]

Great show ! and I've heard what you have to say... but I'm a bop bop guy all the way.

[@una_10bananas]

Key calling Horne "honey" at under 7 minutes is setting up this to be excellent Edit: we just skipping over "fooh-tage"? Edit: I love the stationery sub-game

[@dralfredcarroll9567]

It's the No More Jockeys 'Middle Class Men At Glastonbury' edition!

[@froghornleghorn]

Honestly had a little tear in my eye when I got to hear "does a spider have a heart" again

[@RhianWilkinsonMusic]

Refreshing my KZbin notifications on a Friday morning like a complete mad man has become possibly the most relaxing part of my weekly routine.

[@ZmakiZ]

6:37 Excellent use of the interrobang, caption writer!

[@thomasimon]

Horne giving off strong Fear and Loathing vibes

[@TheDrugOfTheNation]

I suspect "Ovid? The duck?" will be on official merch soon.

[@jht22222]

Least stationary game of Stationery I’ve ever seen. 10/10

[@lucypotter746]

This is exactly what I needed today, thank you from below the line. Wishing everyone a great day :)

[@Williamwerenberg]

Same to you :)

[@justinelouise2655]

I'm all for Watto's beautiful falsetto

[@googleuser859]

Key, you look like a young boy and your beautiful, youthful exuberance is a huge boon to you. Your astute mind is full of knowledge and wisdom. Your mere presence blows me away.

[@PaddyRoon7]

Definitely an interesting long term game plan from Key: always play job gloves as a category, refuse to admit that anything is a job. Can't knock it.

[@musical3lottie]

I have nosebleeds all the time, to the point of buying cheap tampons to put up my nostril so I don't get through loads of loo roll (and it kills my hands to hold tissue in place and squeeze for long enough to stop anything) - but this is genuinely the first time I've ever seen another adult have one. It was weirdly validating, sorry Alex.

[@praalgraf]

strong watsongs in this one

[@RiyaSDesai]

25:29 i think about this on a weekly basis

[@peterking3196]

So now we know that Key currently lives in his local branch of Staples. Astounding stationery retrieval, there.

[@ZaphodTHEBeeblebrox]

13:50 horne looks like hes getting emotional over spiders heart and soul

[@notmydesk]

Oddly enough, John Travolta does in fact own and pilot a passenger jet.

[@jadebass9685]

I think weirdly ‘fuck off’ 😂😂😂 love marks sudden outbursts of anger he’s a take no crap kinda guy I want him as My older brother 😎🤟

[@markcox5385]

Please, please, please find a way to bring back We Need Answers!

[@reelkonversationswithryank4945]

I'm telling you I absolutely love the sub-game of "15-Second Stationery Challenge."

[@dalveenakorotana8158]

This whole time I thought they were sharing the unicorn cup and sending it back and forth like in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

[@emilybitzel7242]

only 39 seconds in and completely smitten with all of them

[@bujuminodstrom2076]

tim key is a sacred being.

[@tantryl]

Sweet, another episode of Gnome or Jockey

[@wglifestyle4179]

Baloo definitely owned a plane. The series Tailspin was literally about it.

[@Shaun742]

Propeller plane though surely, not a jet.

[@puckerings]

@@Shaun742 Absolutely, not that any of the three of them see to understand the concept.

[@jessejames8871]

Because of this (dare I call it) show, Watson's voice has become the default English voice in my head.

[@pooroldnostradamus]

Ah.

[@savagehenry8286]

“Unicorn mug” sounds like a line said by a tough prison guard in an imaginary film about a ‘snowflake’ wrongly sent to jail. Ray Winstone would be ideal for guard. Jimmy Carter would play the convicted killer who keeps several mice hidden in his cell as pets. Damon Albarn as the kindly lag who takes the ‘snowflake’ under his wing and shows him how to survive in the clink. Biggins as the eccentric Prison Guvnor. Bob Mortimer as prison psychologist. Jeez, this is writing itself.

[@VideoNozoki]

John Travolta does own and fly not only the Gulfstream jet, but also the very large Boeing 707 jet airliner (along with many other planes). His house in Ocala, Florida has 2 runways and he parks some of the planes at that home (with a golf course on the other side of the house).

[@jamesismyname3690]

Well my fellow jockstraps, I do love to see a Key win, but that felt a bit like Horne handed it to him. Has Key ever beaten Horne properly in a NMJ duel?

[@emmafrost1210]

Isn't Pitstop a woman over 50?

[@sebastiandangerfield9462]

Depends if it would be the fictional characters age (in which case; no) or the amount of time the character has existed (in which case; yes)

[@prinpi]

Congratulations to Key for the win and for his delightful role in the brilliant "This Time with Alan Partridge"

[@MusicalJackknife]

Actually impressed that Tim got that ring binder in 14 seconds.

[@bras2090]

Oh! We're in love

[@jamesen01]

I love the fact that Horne nearly played Ken Bruce the second after Watson banned anyone with any of their initials! Saved

[@CaraCompass]

I like the idea that Bodger is himself a job glove

[@ChrisBillig]

Anyone else doing a little "Let's Meet the Contestants" dance?

[@C.I...]

It's a shame that show can't come back, what with phone answering services being a relic of the past.

[@ChrisBillig]

@@C.I... I've wondered if they could do it with a place people ask questions online like Quora or something.

[@lexo42]

#TeamBoop (but also #TeamDoWhatMakesYouHappyAsLongAsItsNotBup)

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

Funky looks today guys. I wear eyewear and it's nice to see

[@mister_scott]

Raise your hand if you will be smelling next week’s episode via your phone that’s sealed in an envelope.

[@davywalters5161]

For what it's worth, I always thought it was "bop, bop unicorn mug" not "boop, boop", and certainly not "bup, bup"

[@DarkHarlequin]

I lost it at Watto forcing Key to play what was essentially 'Stationary fetch!' 😄😄

[@davidrysdam902]

Running with scissors, too.

[@whatiwasgoingtosay]

I have to agree with Key, there is a difference between a jet and a plane.

[@daupomatic]

A Cessna is no "private jet"! And Travolta's crazy Scientology jet is amazing.

[@jessesutton7985]

21:35 I can't be the only one who started moving an arm awkwardly and smiling.

[@J.L.Media.]

Let’s meet the contestants 🎶

[@siobhanhalloran347]

I was glad about it, because it meant a decider, but Horne warning Key about a hasty Iain M Banks decision there was a beautiful moment.

[@neilmeadowcroft7569]

Was the casio adjustment official? Category said Melanie Sykes, no edit made.

[@andracatheduckking257]

watto has gotten really good at improvising songs lately

[@SlothBird]

spiritually connected when horne started having a nosebleed at the same time as i was

[@Frostfly]

why do i get the feeling you all got started drinking early this time...

[@sammich3000]

Interesting gaslighting attempt from Watto. We all know it’s always been bop bop Unicorn mug! not boop boop. I believe it was Watto himself that started the trend

[@sqoomsh]

I’m surprised nobody challenged on Pitstop with an exclamation mark! Haven’t you heard that guy from Cars?

[@sammybots]

When I see Watto put his phone in a Jiffy bag, I see a guy who’s hurt

[@passonyourpostcode]

He's a sensitive bloke.

[@SChappellaz]

Well played gentlemen. Properly fun!

[@silsonsteve]

A good, clean game, despite the blood

[@clarkegreen]

24:30 I detect a flash of real anger frustration here, when you think about it.

[@tomhorrid]

your friend and mine

[@cormacm1982]

Could have challenged on Penelope Pitstop being over 50

[@sebastiandangerfield9462]

I always wonder with fictional characters if it would be the age of the character or the amount of time the character has existed. For example would Bart Simpson be the character age (10) or the age of the Simpson’s tv program (30)? So with PP it would be fine on one hand (character age) but not the other (amount of time the character has existed.)

[@cormacm1982]

@@sebastiandangerfield9462 It's challengable and debatable. I don't mind it.

[@SixteenJacobsCreams]

@@sebastiandangerfield9462 i think usually they go by the age of the character, not the show/publication etc

[@VideoNozoki]

@@sebastiandangerfield9462 : Same question. But I know Disney had a celebration of Mickey & Minnie Mouse's 92 birthday (they share the same birthday, November 18, 1928).

[@ohanra5003]

Badger isn't a glove

[@ithryn]

You still have to win by 2 right? So there's at least 2 more games

[@SchrodingersCatalyst]

key to spill

[@phil7031]

Of course Key pours his drink out!

[@scottwilkinson8378]

Nice tribute to Spencer Silver who passed on recently, one of the creators of the Post It note.

[@VideoNozoki]

Well spotted. RIP

[@scottwilkinson8378]

@@VideoNozoki I'd read of his passing not long before watching Mark start slapping Post-Its to his forehead.

[@MyNameIsJakeBolton]

The looks “we’re in love” was met with

[@leemartindale3149]

BOP BOP........UNICORN MUG. TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF YOUR EFFING FACE

[@squeezyjohn1]

I don't know about you lot, but when I'm calling a car in for a pitstop over the radio ... I always use an exclamation mark!

[@tomleeming3135]

Ken Bruce = K = Key Initial am i right was that a challenge???

[@sammybrown5726]

Horne didn't end up going with Ken Bruce. He went with Jeremy Vine.

[@MatONeill]

Best show since Moschops.

[@themeparksaustraliaicathle7042]

Bold start by Key, but I love it

[@puckerings]

I would propose the very controversial definition of "jet" to be "an aeroplane with jet engines." Radical, I know, but at least consider it.

[@benjamesbp]

Don't know what I'm watching right now. But it feels like outtakes from fear and loathing in Las Vegas!

[@nuisancepenguin5210]

25:30 I gotta say, one hell of an opportunity missed to chime in with "... yet!" though I suppose it done or dusted, over.

[@noone-re3zp]

18:21 i dont know why but key doing an american accent saves my life constantly

[@lnfreeman]

"Jazz Bezos"

[@RFC-3514]

Penelope does fly a plane, but it's not a jet, it's a prop or possibly a turboprop.

[@Jnoooooo]

Bop Bop......

[@ginnywong7797]

Unicorn mug!

[@markamscientist]

Love the show but the songs are becoming a lot or else it's Wattos levels that need sorting.

[@themeparksaustraliaicathle7042]

I couldn't see what you wanted to say Key when the NZ interview started 😁

[@julianlineham]

Great fun. How much fancy dress does Horne have?

[@AllTheGoodNamesAr]

Oh, I didn't realise we were doing art submissions.

[@jonathanross149]

I think Key meant the sir names is an interjection on the first rule.