NOOB'S GUIDE to VOLKMAR the GRIM

[@swefress]

I'm Guvenoren, the creator of the 2 mods highlighted here, I am very happy to see that I am not the only one who craved white mustache for volkmar! Thanks! Thank you so much for high-lighting White mustache and Foundation skill trees mods that I have worked a lot on! A thousand times thanks!

[@codybonds]

I also use your smoke and gunpowder effects mod. I'm a long time fan, so thank you for making them!

[@swefress]

@@codybonds There are better mods that does the same as that, but I thank you none the less for using it :) I shout-outed you on the two mods you featured here!

[@codybonds]

@@swefress @frolof Actually, you've been dabbling in new units lately. What do you think of a Warhammer DLC style mod that adds a new lord, hero, and units to the game for Brettonia? Do you think players would respond to the packaging? Ever since I started modding for Thrones I've wanted to give Warhammer a shot.

[@codybonds]

@@swefress I appreciate that your mods stick to a Vanilla Plus style - not looking to drastically alter the world but enhance it. When I see your name I know it's a mark of quality- the mod will work, won't have wild edits, and will respect the game's design.

[@TheManofthecross]

nice and hi on youtube from the community. :)

[@Delritho]

The Grim cruising the Undead countryside in his Volkswagon.

[@DylanJo123]

Bravo

[@obsidironpumicia4074]

Volkswagrim? Volkswagrim.

[@Aspiringamoeba1997]

TWELVE THOUSAND ANGRY MEN WITH CHAINS JUDGING YOUR HERESY INTENSIFIES, LED BY A MAN ON A PIMP WAGON

[@fritz6462]

BrokenSky you mean pope wagon

[@chaosnightravngaming88]

@@fritz6462 there isn't a difference

[@Achillez098]

"So when you start your next Empire campaign and pick Karl Franz for the 127th time" This is so true, Karl Franz gives his consent.

[@markusnavergard2387]

we should have gotten Valten aka SIGMAR INCARNATE!

[@NZBigfoot]

Ive had WH2 and WH1 for about 7 months... I have yet to play Karl Franz, and the only Empire ive ever played is Gelt... and i only really got to turn 40 with him. That being said, ive played Norsca and Beastmen more than any other faction... and im hankering for another run... burn the Empire!

[@Achillez098]

@@NZBigfoot SIGMAR FORBIDS THIS!!! Haha xD

[@Spewaks]

Presumptuous Pseudonym i got 400hr across both games and completed 2 empire capaigns, 1 as grim and 1 as gelt. Franz is boring

[@TheInnerstrife]

I only pick gold daddy when playing empire :(

[@GrandMasterNutBusterYoda]

You may be badass, but youll never be "Ripped myself from the banner of a Greater Daemon and beat the bird shit out of him with the very chains that held me there " badass.

[@Erkille7]

this is the most badass thing in warhammer lore i think

[@freshboy3968]

*I CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS*

[@joaogomes9405]

You may be badass, but you'll never be "parked myself between an entire city and the most powerful vampire alive at the time and told him to fuck off back to Sylvania before I throw him off the city walls like my predecessor did his daddy" badass. Yes, Volkmar did that and it actually worked, he got Mannfred to pussy out of besieging Middenheim.

[@Rammkommando]

​@@joaogomes9405please tell me thats in the vampire wars omnibus

[@TheIronMarshall]

​@joaogomes9405 as a two for one special, the Head of the Sigmarite Cult performs the most badass acts in front of the capital of the Ulric cult

[@lonestar6709]

_"You can't win Archaon. If you strike me down, I'll return, more powerful than you can possibly imagine."_ -Volkmar. Quite literally, it seems.

[@patrickhill8494]

It's also interesting that Volkmar's research is essentially Archeon's early life. He may have become another Everchosen if the Endtimes hadn't happened.

[@GumshoeClassic]

We need a mod that enlarges his moustache by 1000% and changes his name to "Stachemar the Groomed".

[@mrfrost6211]

*Ikets mustache workshop hammers away!*

[@mrbigglezworth42]

In the Empires defense, literal witches are in fact a big problem so Witch Hunters make a lot of sense. Also the Sisters of Sigmar exist who have their own separate orders doing their own separate thing. Usually smashing faces with hammers, as a proper Sigmarite is want to do.

[@bolikde9389]

Yes, but the ladies arent well liked. And the Witch Hunters do root out vampiric,- and chaos corruption. There are a couple of hundret innocent burned among the guilty but that are acceptable casualties for them.

[@Dave-bd2eo]

@@bolikde9389When a single cult or vampire can decimate dozens of villages or entire towns if given enough time it makes sense. Brutal and ruthless, but it makes sense.

[@godofemergencyfood5432]

@@bolikde9389double effect: if more people are saved than harmed then the action is good

[@PainRack]

You are aware that's a satire of witch burning in medieval Germany right ? There's a reason why Warhammer Online had the some are more deserving than others short story bit ​@@Dave-bd2eo

[@anthonyarguelles7471]

"Proto-Talos" That's a good one! 😂

[@baronnolanvonstraya5743]

Anthony Arguelles CHIM CHIM CHIM CHIM CHIM

[@DarkDoomguy]

Ah, Volkmarr. The man who walked out of a city, and told Mannfred's entire army to fuck off. And they did. What a lad.

[@charlottewalnut3118]

Just as a note there are actually a group of Sigmarite nuns They were called the sisters of Sigmar or some thing but most of them got wiped out during a war with the Skaven I think

[@codybonds]

I originally had a line about them as they're in the game Mordheim. But the video was running long and that bit wasn't funny, so it got cut.

[@charlottewalnut3118]

Cody Bonds ah well that’s to bad

[@maxducks2001]

1:14 For those who’ve played Vermintide 2, that right there is the exact image the statue at the end of Last Stand is based on.

[@EdTheDragonSlayer]

BY SIGMAR, YES.

[@Naedrelian]

Ah, Volkmar. The answer to the question "what if Jesus and Bismarck had an angsty kid?"

[@borgar1765]

Can i just note how weird it is that we got Knights of the Blazing Sun, a Myrmidian order, in a dlc with Volkmar?

[@veermudambi5795]

It’s a reference to the source material. They wanted to come on Volkmar’s anti-undead crusade but he was hesitant since they weren’t Sigmarites. He agreed at the last minute the day before they set off though since they shared a common goal (and you don’t turn down good cavalry)

[@CynicBlaze]

you get a like for "Womb Broom"

[@codybonds]

So does your mother Trebek.

[@marcodatreviso9619]

Proto-Talos?...By the Nines! Loving these noobs guides, even if I don't have the game(I probably saw one of the videos because I follow Total War content from older games). I'm following the channel from a couple of months now, quality content and great humor!

[@codybonds]

I'm glad you get a kick from them! The goal is always to create something that can be enjoyed even if you don't play the games. When I'm forced to cut content - humor always wins over actual gameplay tips.

[@jasperbakker261]

Literally every Empire campaign I do, I make Volkmar the Elector of Sylvania so he can spend his retirement bashing the remaining zombie heads in.

[@alexbattaglia8297]

Proto Talos, finally someone said it

[@Rick586]

4:30 That Discworld reference just solidified my fandom for this channel.

[@Zayl1016]

"pick Karl Franz for the 127th time" You don't understand, he buffs Reiksguard, and I love them!

[@janfranc8458]

Siegschranz Karl is second best after daddy Gelt, but I still pick emperor, confederate Gelt and then I create meme stack for Volkmar 😆

[@Zayl1016]

@@janfranc8458 Yeah Gelt is fun for a variety of reasons as well. Like having an ultra-mobile caster lord, or making artillery heavy armies.

[@janfranc8458]

Siegschranz exactly and he has the Best line 😆

[@Zayl1016]

@@janfranc8458 As well as a pretty great voice. I love the slight metal twang in it

[@janfranc8458]

Siegschranz he is like some nerd like him, his speeches are also great

[@GamerGrovyle]

2:25 That's a great way to put them. Also now I want Armor-clad cheerleaders

[@Juria1987]

I'll admit, I loled just like I do with the other ones. Great work man great work! Still hoping for Grombrindal's noob's guide, the angriest dwarf to ever live. So angry he came back from the dead, so god damn angry that no matter where your other dwarf armies go on the world. They can still hear on the wind him screaming at them to go farther, fight harder, and stop being such a bitch about that axe in their gut. No seriously he got skills that affect the entire faction for replenishment, movement distance on the map, recruitment discount, higher ranks for new recruits, and so on...which is again every army you got. Which makes me think of some army on the other side of the world somehow still hearing that old Dwarf giving them angry grandpa encouragement to settle some grudges. All the while his own army of dwarves are just staring at their leader screaming and frothing with unbrindaled rage into the sky, Out of all the dwarf Lords he is by far my favorite just for the sheer amount of stuff he gives you as a reward, add onto him being still dangerous as hell on the field of battle and it just a win win really. Also his lines in his quest battles are pretty funny.

[@codybonds]

I do love the idea of an angry old man screaming at the young'uns.

[@Msatthew]

@@codybonds Aka "the dwarfs main schtick"?

[@Galdenberry_Lamphuck]

I just wait for the skav... i mean rat beasymen to eat kislev. When the faction dies you get a new quest to just raid the area that used to be bearland.

[@ironlegion5989]

Recently Kislev has been pretty strong especially if they go to war against hellpit early

[@Sir_Bucket]

@@ironlegion5989 Personnaly I've seen Kislev getting recked by HellPit and the local Norscan tribes

[@zacharyoneill7018]

Always look forward to this content the most... can’t say how many times I died laughing listening to Repanse and Malus! Please keep it going my man!!!

[@lachlanbold8319]

Volkmar the Hammer Pope! Lord of high quality moustaches.

[@brotheralaric7177]

0:20 i've laughed Ho damned yes, i remember of Henry Caill with a mustache. . .it was a curious choice.

[@darthralin]

Okay, guys, hear me out here, I think Volkmar's partially based on the Ottoman Sultan Selim the Grim. Here's why: Selim's known for two major accomplishments, being a successful commander who basically never stopped campaigning and winning until he died of sickness, and being a very religious man who claimed the office of the Caliph for the Ottoman crown and became the head of the Sunni Muslim faith, then got up and kept fighting. Now, the Cult of Sigmar's clearly based on Christianity, as the Empire's based on the Holy Roman Empire and it borrows heavily from German examples in most cases, including the flagellants mentioned in the video, but the popes were not warriors (except Julius II, who led his own troops to battle while fighting the French), which may have been what motivated GW to reach for a fightier alternative when creating a Battle Pope to lead the Battle Priests. Moreover, Volkmar has the same style of mustache that Selim bore, particularly resembling the one in the famous profile-portraits of the man that turn up on the first page when you search his name on Google. Which is what first led me to suspect this. Oh, and, he's got the same moniker. The religious leader of a vast empire called "the Grim" would already be a decent coincidence. Combined with the rest, it feels like a tad more than coincidence.

[@TheManofthecross]

So that’s what he is based off of I will need to check this out etc.

[@Rush2201]

An entire faction that thinks Wrath of the Lich King was the best WoW expansion? Shit, I didn't realize I was a follower of Volkmar.

[@garetjaxusmc]

I love these. After each one I want to play that faction just for the laughs!

[@bennconner1195]

The music for this DLC is epic.

[@CthulhuOnCam]

Crossbreed the Pope with the Iron Sheikh. You sir earned your Like and Love early in this video DAMN!

[@hawkticus_history_corner]

Volkmar's redo is so nice and I actually prefer him over Karl. Cuz boosting Free Company is so fucking good.

[@Snakedude4life]

Choas Boiz: “heh heh, wrap inner gee.” VOLKMAR, miles away: *_”... I can SMELL the Heresy! ”_* 🎩 🐍 no step on SNEK! 🇺🇸🇭🇰

[@Beer_]

When even your staff has a hammer on it

[@stephencronin1080]

"womb broom" dear God my sides

[@janfranc8458]

Very nice video! I am excited for daddy Gelt, the SUPEREME PARTIARCH!! Or daddy Louen.

[@ValetinoLovebird]

'Yeah, one day there will be a battle, and one side will win' - Volkmar 2020

[@greenmushroom4258]

Actually informative vid. Never thought of volkmar strategy like this

[@codybonds]

I take flack for these not being helpful Guides. But if you're a noob...

[@ragoth6207]

I actually just started the game with Volkmar but as I'm now informed on the mods I now know what to install. Thanks

[@codybonds]

Tell me what you think of the mods! I found his early game a bit challenging until you can build flagellants. It's very turtley until you can defeat the secessionists.

[@joaogomes9405]

Volkmar's story did not end after Storm of Chaos, because he had one more moment of titanium-balled chadness still in him. After Archeon was sent packing, eternal fuck-up and all around worst character of the setting Mannfred Von Carstein saw how weakened the Empire was and decided he would strike while the iron was hot. He reached Middenheim, at which point he marched up to the city gates where Karl Franz was waiting for him and told him to surrender or die. At that moment, a single magnificently bald moustached legend marched out of the city, parked himself between Karl and Mannfred and told Mannfred that the last time a Von Carstein demanded a city surrender or die, a grand theogenist threw him and himself off the city walls, and by Sigmar he'd do it again if Mannfred didn't fuck off back to Sylvannia. And Mannfred did just that, so not only did Volkmar single-handedly prevent a vampire invasion and siege of Middenheim, he also bought the Empire nearly 3 months of peace after years of war. Absolute gigachad.

[@pedromoura1446]

I swear i sensed the spit reach me through the internet when he said "Pope mobile of death"

[@Wclipped]

I've been kicking tomb king and khorn ass with this guy in the immortal empire campaign

[@jetlagjonny]

Even if you don't know the lore you know he's definitely the leader of hammer wielding bishops when even volkmars staff even has a mini hammer on it

[@joaogomes9405]

In my last Volkmar campaign all the Dwarfs died out. Karaz a Karak got sandwiched by Grimgor and somehow Azhag who managed to take over half their territory, and Karak Ziflin got beaten by Grom and Skarsnik.

[@partydean17]

That was awesome thanks for the mod suggestions

[@xXGalacticSniper50Xx]

3:42 😂this makes my life

[@WhoIsIanMcGovern]

I always just have volk handle the VC by himself while karl franz and Gelt tag team the empire into submission and maybe even add a few princedoms to their kill count...then an alliance with dwarfs to keep chaos at bay.

[@YouWarhammer]

You teach me so many new expression with these videos. I can't wait till I can use 'womb broom' in real life one day!

[@Comicsluvr]

Thank you for the Mods suggestions! As much as I love TW:WH, there are bits and bobs that I feel need tweaking.

[@codybonds]

That's the great thing about mod support. You can tweak it to your heart's content!

[@connorshaw-case6030]

love these, be cool to get a video on gotrek and felix.

[@marimoss253]

I do agree with your mod recommendation. They are splendid.

[@yamahadrag69]

After the last video I kinda wanna see Volkmar and Settra play bumper cars with their battlewagons. Lol

[@keizoxd5623]

There was also an Priest that was whoreshipped by many Peasants and gathered together 100k of Followers, many Peasants, Serfs but also Knights. It was during the First Crusade 1097 and they Killed and Plundered through whole Eastern Europe till they got too tired and ripped off. Then they got killed. I Think the Piest even survived this. But yeah that was the "Crusade of the People" or something similar called. Could also be an Conception for Volkmar

[@raguna4231]

omg... That pope crossed with the iron sheik has opened my eyes to the truth

[@Aredel]

I love these videos. Maybe next you could do Tyrion or Teclis, the second most dynamic duo in all of warhammer.

[@janfranc8458]

Antonio Sonntag That would be best!

[@alfarabi73]

Both entertaining and educational - the best combo! ;)

[@JasoTheRed48F2]

Surprised you didn't mention his death in the End Times. It was... not great.

[@boyanpenev9822]

Most things around the "End Times" weren't.

[@nguyenanthinh4364]

I heard everyone said "End Times" is bad fanfiction

[@colossusslayer1234]

@@nguyenanthinh4364 pretty much. It's mostly garbage.

[@Ruthun92]

@@nguyenanthinh4364 SPOILERS Let me put it this way, the Skaven manage to blow up a moon using a nuke, Teclis gives up his brothers own child and steals the flame of Ulric from Middenheim causing the resurrection of Nagash and the fall of Middenheim respectively. Tyrion gets pissed and turns evil so naturally Malekith becomes good for some reason? Archaeon does nothing but get ridiculous plot armour, Mannfred joins the empire armies but betrays them at the end for no reason, causing the Old World to destroy itself but luckily some of the Lizardmen escape in a spaceship. Its really wild

[@boyanpenev9822]

@@nguyenanthinh4364 A few people came out ok, like Settra, but for most it was very bad.

[@smellslikeburny]

I was hoping that you would bring up the Sisters of Sigmar 😅 good vid all in all

[@hate513]

i have never played this game but I have watched every one of your videos because your that entertaining I kid you not

[@Milkshakist]

One man will fight against the darkness... Not alone, but with others

[@leathalEly]

Just finished a volkmar playthrough, by the end game you can solo armies with him

[@codybonds]

Correction. His moustache can solo armies.

[@LS-gc8bj]

Me, waiting for the video: I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. Also me: I NEED IT!

[@Harte74]

I thought more of Paul von Hindenburg with that mustache. Or Erich Ludendorff. But again, I just LOVE your noobs guides. 🤩

[@LucianoRototom]

For all of you interested, there are still active flagellant groups in the world, in Italy to be precise. Just search "Vattienti Flagellants" on google and see for yourself

[@bepper66]

For the record, Wrath of the Lich King WAS the best Addon!

[@Veqtronic]

So where did the picture of the Iron Sheik busting out of the crucifix come from?

[@Al3xtheMeh]

Been looking forward to this since you announced it on your live stream! Time to crush some heretics with that fabulous mustache!

[@slaaneshshewhothirst9136]

I know it probably won’t happen but I would like CA give the LL from the first game their own starting location (or at leas make them be the ones on the diplomacy screen). I would be happy with only seeing them on the diplomacy screen too... (Isabella, Grombrindal and Volkmar)

[@codybonds]

With Game 3 I've heard at least one suggestion he'll be moved north of Kislev.

[@slaaneshshewhothirst9136]

Cody Bonds I thought they would move him to the Chaos waste, so the demons could at least have something to eat

[@Brondo765]

Your wish was granted

[@connorworsnopquirkcardcast4703]

@Cody Bonds 6:34 that's cause it was the best

[@justinkeir8989]

Orangutan levels of strength to swing books around.... I see what you did there.

[@Mjolonir12]

Hmm I mained a Ret paladin in Wrath of the Lich King. Guess this is my guy

[@deni140492deni]

He reeeeeeally needs an armour piercing buff for flagellants.

[@AzureRoxe]

Anyone else here because of the recent teasers? It seems he was right and now we must trust in him to save us during the upcoming Chaos diddling.

[@codybonds]

Praise Sigmar!

[@lordpeacock2656]

The Templars were mostly French and British and The Hosplitars are Maltesian (yes they’re still around today) other than those two though the rest had direct ties to the German oligarchy

[@mrsullied]

Well both the Templars & Hospitallers are technically from Jerusalem but while the point about the Templars being mainly French is accurate (if we're considering Flemish as French in the context of the borders at the time of the order's founding), I'm not sure where you got the idea about the British you mention. The bit about the Hospitallers is a little misleading. Yes, they were eventually referred to as "Knights of Malta" (or something to that extent), but their headquarter was in Jerusalem and, upon its capture, Rhodes. Malta became their seat hundreds of years later, meaning you can't really consider the Hospitallers to be "from" Malta. Using the same logic as we did with the Templars, that'd make the Hospitallers Neapolitan. Take the above with a pinch of salt though as I didn't deep dive here...

[@pappy374]

OMFG! The Iron Sheik as Volkmar!

[@aarovit4257]

Oh boy a birthday present just for me!

[@mr.charcoal5426]

Aarovit 42 you too man

[@codybonds]

Happy Birthday to you both!

[@aarovit4257]

Cody Bonds Thank you!

[@xsveron1287]

stay safe we need you in this time of isolation

[@recklessmadman1597]

If you are grim from 'just marauders fanfics'...This boi has a LOOOOOOONG way to go.

[@codybonds]

I almost put a DO NOT GOOGLE advisory on that one. Or at least make sure you have filtered results on.

[@wolfmirebacta8710]

I'm loving the plate mail and other heavy armor they wear... But I just can't help but see Space Marines and Inquisitors.

[@kelman727]

The faith wasn’t founded by the nobles. It was founded by Johann Helsturm, a commoner.

[@12345DJay]

bonus meme points for the reign of chaos intro footage

[@TacticusPrime]

I hope Volkmar leads an Imperial crusade in the north eventually.

[@nicoium6698]

A german would not want you to forget the genozid. It is important to remember, so it doesn't happen again. At least most of us think like this.

[@SrGroszek]

oh nononon. why do premieres lke this?! I just have nice beer, hoping for a nice video... 20 hours?! wht((

[@codybonds]

It makes for a fun time that everyone can get together for. Especially with all that's going on a sense of community and expectation goes miles.

[@aaronbiduk813]

It worked hella well for astartes

[@JasperLane]

A Premier? God dammit and here I was hopping that I would be entertained today but now I got to wait another 20 hours.

[@MyViolador]

6:33 pulling my heartstrings man

[@codybonds]

There are dozens of us. Dozens!

[@dmmlong]

'Mouth merkin' 😂 holy shit!!!

[@valdemarramirez6015]

Am I the only one who only ever gets to recruit Volkmar after I already bodied the Vlad and his brother? The order of my shit list usually goes: Empire Secessionists, Skarsnik, then beeline it straight for the Sylvania before they and Azhag finish wiping out Elector Counts. Then run back east because Rakarth is destroying the Elector counts there.

[@aguwith]

Man he should just always have sabatron playing in the background

[@Zwijger]

0:57 The Germans very much do not want themselves nor anyone else to forget WW2. They are perhaps the country that is most open and honest about their past misdeeds of anyone. Japan still hasn't apologized for anything and they were about as bad.

[@thecursed01]

Worde even. But everyone loves Japan. And thanks to their strong culture thanks to nationalism, most love the culture. While migrant politicians in germany say, germany doesn't have a culture . The biggest sin for humanity is not committing atrocities, but apologizing and being responsible about it. China never apologized for dozens of millions of dead, west Africa and Arabians never apologized for the centuries of slavery in which the americans/brits were merely another customer, nobody yells at their entire ethnicy for it. So the rule is: do what you want to whomeveryou want, just never admit or apologize

[@thecursed01]

He is volkmar the reasonable after getting a snickers

[@manfredthegreat]

Yeah warhammer fantasy is really close to real history :D We have the Germans as the Empire, the French as Bretonnians, norsca as Vikings, Kislev as Poland/Russia And even Egyptians and the Aztecs 😁 And now even Cathay as China dont no why some people cry over Warhammer 3 because they cant get their Medieval 3 (which will come eventually)

[@winterfalcon]

Referencing Terry Pratchetts Discworld, Mony Python and more! Nice!

[@gabrielrubens4505]

Skarsnik or Durthu could come next

[@Ezekielepharcelis]

Durthu !! :)

[@hugovasquez8222]

Im asking for skarsnik for months 😂

[@NMahon]

Would really recommend reading the Skarsnik book it's really good!

[@deverd9771]

As I said, worth the wait

[@sethleoric2598]

Every geek and nerd who loves Crusader memes but is still kind of a degenerate must all learn from the awesomeness of Volkmar

[@louisclark9900]

A womb Broom .......... bro ...... that actually fkn killed me i am in tears ... A FKN WOMB BROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[@0ld_Scratch]

I'm Sir Generic Lord and Protector of the Common Folk!

[@Seraphj77]

Let’s be real...Wrath was the best WoW expansion

[@notaskaven964]

Comparing Volkmar's beta Paladin faction to the Argent Crusade was heresy tbh

[@trixzify]

No, it wasnt

[@notaskaven964]

It's TBC or wrath