[Not] Being Condescending | An Autie's Guide to Neurotypical Social Skills Ep. 2 [CC]

Autistic people are often perceived as condescending... while we think we're just having a regular civil conversation. So here's an explanation of why people often perceive us this way and how to manage that if that's not how you want to be perceived. (And also for non-autistic people to learn more about how we naturally communicate to bridge the communication gap between neurotype)
Learn about other social skills things here - • An Autie's Guide to Ne...
The Hannah Gadsby clip - • Hannah Gadsby Doesn't ...
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Autism Resources:
Ultimate resource guide - www.disabledau...
How to support an autistic person - www.disabledau...
Help! I think I’m autistic - www.disabledau...
Unmasking/How to Start Over - www.disabledau...
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Also a new EP you can check out here - • Bold full
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Buy me a smoothie! - www.paypal.com...
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Start Over (Album) - li.sten.to/sta...
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Find me on Bandcamp - sydneyzarlengo...
Check out my #ActuallyAutistic playlist made of entirely autistic artists!
open.spotify.c...
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Hello my dears!
My name is Sydney and I’m an actor/singer-songwriter who writes music about my experiences being autistic, disabled, gay, gender fluid and in general, a human. My goal is to fill musical gaps and write about things people often forget to make music about. I’m also a vintage enthusiast and disability advocate (among other things). I’ve now released 3 albums and, most importantly, my favorite color is buttercup yellow.
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[@freakyfridayfun]

I love that you made this whole video about communication issues while repeatedly and very naturally using sarcasm. I, beeing a very sarcastic person because trauma (yeih) have had a lot of problems with people thinking I can't be autistic bc of that. So this is just very very satisfying. Edit: Also I enjoyed the video as a whole

[@haniyyahn]

Yes, I really have never understood why the "textbook" understandings of autism talk about how autistics can't understand or use autism. No one I know who is autistic (and that's not to say there are none) doesn't know how to handle sarcasm.

[@freakyfridayfun]

@@haniyyahnRight?!! I honestly think sarcasm is one of the easiest things to understand logically even if you completely suck at reading body language. Might be a tad bit difficult with complete strangers, but as soon as you have a baseline for somebody it's pretty easy to tell if they say something completely out of line with their character or the rest of their argument. Add to that the trauma that most people who are "different" experience and the fact that sarcasm can make it a lot easier to talk about difficult (emotional) stuff et voilà.

[@natural3362]

Please make more videos about this. You're helping more autistic people in this world. I'm learning a lot

[@andiralosh2173]

I'll never forget my father calling me 'superior,' in a fight in my 20's. A man who I'd never seen admit being wrong, or had till then apologized, about... anything. Called me superior. Cool

[@LoveCrumb]

Oof, I Identify with so much of this. This really helped me to contextualize some of my behaviours and the reactions I've recieved. I'mo also guilty of thinking my autistic brother is frequently condescending, so I guess autistic people can also misunderstand autistic people (or maybe it's more of a sibling thing, IDK). For more social skills topics, I need so much help with keeping neurotypical friendships. I always feel like I'm open about my needs as an autistic and disabled person, but inevitably my friendships suffer because I'm not given grace for things outside of my control (I'm guessing the other party doesn't see it that way). I feel like there's always a communication issue or difference, even when I've tried by absolute best to be communicative and take accountability for things gone wrong, and it's often confounding.

[@disabled.autistic.lesbian]

Noted!! I do have a video called "Autism & Relationships" that might help a good deal in that department? Maybe?

[@LoveCrumb]

@@disabled.autistic.lesbian Thank you! I think a re-watch is in order!

[@thesincitymama]

I’m so glad I found you! Your communication style makes me gleeful 💗 I was LOLing the whole time

[@cassandragimbert8193]

Thank you for this! I had no idea other people understood 😢I must find autistic friends who are like me and get it!!!

[@SuperKeithers]

sometimes i like to ask more questions when in conversations as a way of empathizing, cause when i relate people's experiences to my own as an empathy effort it can go sideways sometimes just how you say

[@KellyCDB]

I just. Can't wrap my mind around *how* they interpret these communication styles this way. I need to understand *how* it works. I can't avoid doing it if I don't understand what I'm trying to avoid. Additionally - the other day a psychologist told me that the thing she was doing, telling me stuff that she already knew I already knew, was intended to *show empathy!* My mind was blown by that because a) I just experience *that* as condescension, and b) I can't understand *how* it's supposed to do what she said. She doesn't seem to understand the question when I ask how anything works. If anyone has insight into the *how* of either of these, I would be very interested!

[@michaelattenborough5359]

Still struggling with whether I feel I can call myself autistic, but this was all incredibly relatable, thankyou.

[@nicholaslandry6367]

this is one of my absolute favorite series

[@lizad6030]

MAMAMIA 6:26 SO REAL OI AND 7:08 SO REAL

[@haroldgifford852]

Etiquette and protocol 📙

[@adamzak6055]

thanks for the video. comment so the algoritm "likes it" more

[@JJ-ds2get-her]

Personality is adorable Advice is useful Topic is very relevant Video is not boring So thank you very much. Also, the story you shared is relatable and inspiring to me. So thank you for that too.

[@liddellasya]

Thanks for the video. I hate myself little less now. I was pretty sure I'm just an asshole the whole time

[@auroraproschnewman7460]

Algorithm food ✨ thanks for a great video!

[@carolinearthur6628]

I love you're style. It makes me smile, learn and feel really positive

[@Roswell33]

I make the mistake of trying to explain to Allistic people what my experience of Autism is and what it's like being Autistic from my perspective. The issue is I'm doing it in respose to them making innacurate statements about Autism online. Guess how that conversation unfolds. I am wrong about Autism and my experience doesn't count because it's a spectrum

[@miamoore8954]

Best video. Thank you.

[@rhihidi]

so excited to follow this series, so helpful!

[@Sleeper_6875]

Ty for this

[@machauninvited1475]

i love your vibe!!

[@madelineobrien7132]

my partner tells me i am mansplaining and making them feel belittled when i overexplain so i soften my voice bc in my head mansplaining is harsh and angry but then with the soft tone and the same words it’s condescending and i don’t know how to find the middle ground here, do you have any advice

[@ruruch3n]

don't overexplain !! ;)

[@thesincitymama]

***I’m in this video and I don’t like it***