Nurse faces backlash for her TikTok

[@carlaknight5130]

NICU nurse here. When you lose a patient you keep that shit together. You become the strongest person full of empathy but not fazed by your own emotions. You treat the family like they are at the 4 Seasons, making them comfortable and taking care of all the meaningful details that will be remembered for the rest of their life. And when you get a moment for yourself you deal with it Grey’s Anatomy style. Find a supply closet and break down. Unless you work in NICU, sometimes you, the other nurses, the doctors and surgeons shamelessly break down with the family. Sometimes you just can’t help being a human. But never once have I ever seen someone pull their phone out and start recording. Those moments are unforgettable and unless you’ve experienced it, you wouldn’t understand anyway.

[@bdhesse]

My oldest was a preemie and spent some time in the NICU. I can't help but think losing a patient in the NICU would be a special kind of hell.

[@eeveequeen15]

I'm going to medical school to be a doctor and I'm considering Oncology. I just need to know how I'll handle losing patients. I usually feel numb when it comes to someone dying but I'm sure it's different when the person dying is your patient. The other specialty I'm considering is Rheumatology and specializing in Connective Tissue Disorders. I have one and it causes so many issues but there's so few treatments.

[@carlaknight5130]

@@bdhesse Bless you and your family. I’ve never had a baby in the Nicu but from my seat, it is an emotional rollercoaster. Sorry that was your first parental experience but I hope you had a positive experience overall and I know you must’ve been overjoyed to finally take your baby home! 👶🏼

[@carlaknight5130]

@@eeveequeen15 Both of those are great choices. Rheumatology would be great because it always helps to have a practitioner that knows what you are going through. It helps so much. On the other hand, it takes special people to work in oncology and that is a great choice also. I don’t know how you feel about pediatrics, but I’ve worked a few shifts in pediatric oncology at a children’s hospital and the people that work there are extra extra special! Whatever you choose, I’m sure you will do great things!

[@eeveequeen15]

@@carlaknight5130 Honestly I love kids. I just don't wanna deal with difficult parents. Like anti vaxxers or anti medicine parents.

[@glazedandinblue8875]

I'm not a nurse but I once worked an awful child abuse case. My partner and I were with the children for 11 hours straight, listening to them tell us everything, talking to them and keeping them company. Halfway through we took a break to eat and we both started crying, finished eating, cleaned ourselves up and I went and read one of the kids my favorite bedtime story my mom used to read me. Thinking about it still makes me cry. But not once did we think about doing anything like this. This is... something else.

[@MessagesFromAurora]

💚💙💗

[@koellekind]

Thank you for taking care of them! 🖤

[@PuddilyOops]

It’s gross is what it is.

[@avicennitegh1377]

Yeah, it's low.

[@mostlyghostey]

I’ve read several comments about how as a nurse if your patient does pass away you go cry in a broom closet about it later. I wish that you didn’t have to go hide away in a broom closet to cry. I wish that you had support there for you too just like you support the family of the patient. I understand that’s not regularly possible but I still wish it were. Much love to all the nurses who have gone through this.

[@sleeplesssongbird7625]

Medical Technician who has lost Two patients this week and chiming in my two cents: It is completely atrocious to do. If you want to portray how some days the job hurts, do it on your own time. Don't tarnish the patient's memory for this kind of nonsense. Stevie's response was spot on.

[@missb6064]

Is medical technician like a medical assistant? Does involve a lot of math

[@missb6064]

I'm sorry for the losses

[@alexia3552]

I wonder if she thought she was, an empty hallway and replaying what she felt earlier that day or week. Still not received well and not having a good impact so maybe it’s something she should have just shared with close friends

[@kylaluv8453]

Which patient memory was tarnished? And how old was thus patient? What state and when did this patient die? Do you even know if there really was a patient or she just has an 8des for a tiktok and ran with it? This looks more like a scripted video to me. For all you know she recorded before or after her shift.

[@NerdyMystic09]

I'm not any doctor, bit it seems like something that initially wasn't that bad of a thought and quickly, and very easily, became very corrupted. Just like the skit. The first minute, he's just saying, "Let's show people what it's like when a patient dies" (which is still a bit odd, but better), then the next minute he's going, "This is going to go viral!" A much less self-centered seeming option would've been a sit-down explanation video (with no names or records involved). This just looks like a pity-post, despite whatever potential intentions were behind it.

[@lydia8779]

My mom was a doctor, and the most emotion I ever saw from her was a few tears and her saying she was sad because she lost a patient that day/night. She protected us (her kids) from the emotions and had deep respect for her patients. She had a collection of cards and gifts from patients and their families. She always worked in high poverty areas. It’s so touching that her patients spent a little extra money and time to express their gratitude.

[@bobaTJ]

People taking the time to document strong emotions always rubs me wrong. "Wait, hold on, I feel horrible. Let me record this for--" Clout? Clicks? Pity? I don't get it.

[@KoylTrane]

Clout obviously.

[@yourbudbuddy.]

Yeah people seem to love making everything and anything all about themselves nowadays. Personally don't understand it either. Nurses are one of my biggest fears of the hospital. It's like some don't fully understand HIPAA laws and don't care to either. There are good nurses out there too like with any profession. This younger generation in general doesn't seem to care about anyone/thing except themselves and the like button.

[@tmm6884]

That's all TikTok is about!

[@tempeverything1641]

All of the above. Welcome to the narcissism of our social media addicted society

[@k.999]

@@yourbudbuddy. agreed with everything but not about the hippa situation. She didn't divulge even the gender of the patient, time of death or which hospital it was. How did she break the hippa law?

[@joskubl6017]

When my mum passed, the nurses tried to be strong, as it was early in their shift. We invited them over, gave them hugs and said thank you. Your working here has meant and will always mean so much to us. Thank you thank you thank you. They also cried with us. Such amazing people Always grateful to the staff on the ward where my mum passed

[@nicolecodbrajoe5229]

I remember thanking my father's nurse after he passed away. They took such good care of him and us as a family during his stay in palliative care. Their care gave us time to spend those final moments together as a family. Edit. Should be Nurses. Plural. I tried to thank all of his nurses.

[@loverlei79]

I got to be honest, i worked in a locked alzheimers ward and have literally held dnr residents while they died in my arms so they wouldn't be alone. Anyone who thinks that moment is to be shared on any media outlet deserves to be stripped of all rank and tar and feathered in the public square. You go in the broom closet after everything is said and done, cry your eyes out, then go back and do your sworn duty.

[@adria89]

thank you for doing a job that most wouldn't/couldn't 😢

[@loverlei79]

@@adria89 i was very blessed to have amazing teachers. It was an all or nothing job. I retired many many moons ago. They teach nurses different now. Back then the first day of class my teacher said "Your job will be to save patients, to comfort patients and then to hold them while they die in the manner they choose, in the religion they choose. If you can't do that. Leave. " She was the toughest person I ever met. I do feel sorry for the new nurses. They were taught that they were heros and entitled. My generation was taught we were servants and caregivers who took an oath to provide care with dignity, to do no harm and be selfless. It was tough and the average hospice worker retired after 5 years if they made it past that they were lifers.

[@adria89]

@@loverlei79 I used to work in a clinical setting with mostly elderly patients. They were so easy to bond with but sometimes hard to let go. I still think about them now and then. I helped care for my grandma when her vascular dementia was severe. Doing it repetitively as a job is not something I could do. Truly thank you, because I know only a tiny taste of what you have done and it is quite something indeed.

[@TheHamadanners]

Memory care is hard. I've been bitten by more sweet old ladies than one should.

[@Ohboycommentsection]

Thank you. Just...thank you for being there for them/us

[@traceywarren5573]

I’ve been a nurse for 20 years. Unfortunately I’ve cared for patients who have passed on. Trust me, the last thing I would think of is “let’s save this moment for posterity.” That little girl doesn’t give 2 shits about losing her patient. And you are right, whoever filmed her sucks just as much. Unfortunately that particular TikTok completely sums up everything that’s wrong with humanity right now.

[@It_Is_I_I]

Looks like she just put down her phone, too stable to be done by a person

[@gabs1224]

I agree with this 100%

[@grannykiminalaska]

Having lost several family members over the last few years.... I would go nuts if someone did this immediately after they lost my family member. Time and place. My cousin has been a nurse for 50 odd years so I've seen the fall out when it all goes sideways. ❤️

[@shab3134]

Disagree...it's her way...not mentioning names...it's okay!

[@doctorcrew2388]

I mean I’ve literally been threatened to film a very suggestive TikTok… so depends on the circumstances darling :/

[@alicia4790]

Being a nurse myself, her video was highly inappropriate. This weekend was horrible for me and my unit, we lost several patients. Not ONCE would I have though 'i need to document this!' The only people need to know how you feel are your coworkers, the pts family (within reason), and your family/ friends. Every time I lose someone I talk it out and have a good cry, no need to have evidence of it on video.

[@bryanrobertson6844]

I agree. Documenting time of death is horrible enough. Ask me and my wife how we know😢

[@noname8354]

Eh I'm not going into a healthcare field but imo it's probably important to let people know this aspect of the job. I can't imagine how horrible it is watching someone die and then just shake it off like it's nothing. So if people make actual videos discussing this, that could be insanely helpful in multiple ways

[@alicia4790]

@@noname8354 I understand having a need to know. But not while we are still in the hospital, on the unit, working. There is a time and place, and this is not it.

[@noname8354]

@@alicia4790 that's what I meant by actual videos: something where you actually explain what this is like when you're not on a shift and have to actually work.

[@alicia4790]

@@noname8354 i get wanting to have a deeper/ clearer understanding of what the medical staff go through when there is a patient death. Most of us dont want to talk about it though. Its hard enough having to deal with it, and even more difficult now with social media sending varying messages/ misunderstandings. I think there is a better way to promote awareness without trying to get likes on a video.

[@iyunoluolawuyi]

If someone saw her and document it without her knowledge... then said something like "hug a nurse today! You don't know what they've been through" I will sympathize. If this was after she got home and made a video about how hard it is, I'll sympathize. I don't know how to respond to this besides "WHY IS THIS OK?" I just went numb seeing that end clip.

[@mamaray8903]

Ive made vlogs for my personal documentation after losing a patient but like hell I'd post it for the general populace especially in uniform AND at work

[@FairbrookWingates]

@@mamaray8903 Don't most medical places prohibit personal phones on the floor, anyway? Granted, I'm sure it's a rule broken daily, but to do so in such a blatant manner seems...foolish.

[@funkichooki]

Yes, years ago I saw a photo someone took of an emergency doctor who lost a patient, he'd gone outside and was crouched next to a wall in the dark under a street light. That was perfect. It was raw. It was not staged. It was even a bit blurry. It followed with the story how he went back in after 5 minutes and kept going with his shift.

[@iyunoluolawuyi]

@@FairbrookWingates Yes and no. Now I'm not a nurse but one of my twins is currently in the NICU and a few days ago the phone line went down so they communicated via their cell phones. They do have walkies but they don't always work so for emergency reasons, they carry their cells on them too. At least this is true of where me babies were

[@teresamessenger5399]

The only patient that made me cry was a woman in a car accident who looked fine but was 9 mo pregnant...arrested at the scene...emergency C-section, in DICs. Kept it together in OR but was relieved after baby taken to NICU, closing mom. Bawled and bawled...I just erupted. Mom and baby were buried together ...took them a day or 2 to die. No family saw me, thank God. That was a rare instance for me.

[@nickyjones867]

That’s awful. You are amazing x

[@cherylcogan3542]

Sad story, just about made me cry. 😢

[@christinesmith3711]

Mine was a young child in the emergency ward. Came in a history of months of headaches and worsening coordination. GP had been reassuring family that everything was fine. Did an MRI. Huge cancer, coneing.

[@cherylcogan3542]

@@christinesmith3711 😢

[@kapirk2244]

As a medic of many, many years, it should never be about us. It’s about the patient, the family, the bystanders who are in shock cuz they have never had to do CPR before. We are the professionals, we cry or talk it out later, when appropriate. That’s why you make good friends with strong shoulders.

[@geekchick4859]

AND WHY YOUR MENTAL HEALTH HAS GONE TO SH1T.

[@HaNFnfnfnf]

your comment makes me understand what is criticised here. Thank you

[@vwynnr]

I’m a CRNA at a Level I trauma center- for more than 20 years. And worked as a CRNA on a transplant team before that. Unfortunately I have lost patients. The last one just a week ago. And yes, we do have to pull it together and finish the shift, because there are other patients who need us. Counseling is available, and most of us do our grieving at home. But not once, and I mean never, have any of my anesthesia, nursing or surgical colleagues stopped, while in uniform at work, to record a TikTok or other video and post it for public consumption. We grieve in private and support each other, but don’t invite the public in. Our job is to care for and support the public, ie our patients and their families, not expose the very people who need us to our personal trauma.

[@benitaavera873]

Thank you. Just because you don't have MD after your name doesn't still makes you less important and unappreciated. You are because you care ❤

[@mma771]

Time to retire old lady... people are free to express themselves the way they want and you can roll your comment anf put it somehwere where the sun doesnt shine

[@carmeltabby]

@@mma771 yes people are allowed to express themselves how they want, so OP is free to express their opinion that is apparently shared by many in their field. No need to be rude.

[@dorianplummer2167]

Well..... at least we now know what nurses go through and how rough it is.. I think she was trying to show us what it is like being a nurse and what nurses have to go through.... I am sure she has seen many patients die before but maybe felt the need to show others what it is really like.

[@purplepixie274]

@@dorianplummer2167 did this really highlight anything? Is it hard to imagine staff feeling losses of patients?

[@samJ..]

For all the people in the medical line of work, I just wanted to say thank you for helping so many people daily, I can't imagine how difficult it is dealing with death and still being strong enough to go back and help the next person, but you all are amazing 😊❤️

[@kendrapatterson8941]

As an RN who's lost many patients over 30 years I'm on the side of her video being inappropriate. Yes it's a hard profession but to make a video and post it is just wrong.

[@melissamayhaps8990]

Why?

[@shannonfilialunae1359]

What about it is inappropriate? She’s showing the truth of the moment and she is only showing herself. It’s not something people outside of this career think about too much, and this did make me think about how hard this would be. I’ve lost many people in my life who had amazing RN’s - for some I was too young to recognize it at the time what they were doing for people in my life. This is a reminder and made me really appreciate them more than I already do.

[@pembrokelove]

Agreed. Maybe I’m just too old to get it, but no. You hold your fucking shit together for the patient’s family, be a professional, and go help the next patient.

[@magnarcreed3801]

@@pembrokelove I didn’t see the patient or family anywhere there so she’s fine.

[@traceywarren5573]

Here’s why I think it’s inappropriate: because true emotion doesn’t wait for a cell phone to get pulled out to film a moment. It’s manufactured. True sorrow just wants comfort, not a camera. I’ve been there. In those moments you are comforting family, calling physicians, washing bodies for transport to the morgue. You aren’t making videos.

[@catzie17]

Peds nurse of 10yrs here. I agree with many of the other healthcare people chiming in. I’ve lost patients and when I’ve been in that moment I never once thought to reach for my phone. Our job is to take care of the family. I do think it’s ok if you cry when your patient dies but still maintain composure, we’re human and sometimes tears break through. I think it helps that we have tasks to do to help the families through it. It helps us focus on what needs to be done instead of the sadness we may feel. We can grieve when we’re clocked out.

[@chicane7752]

Ped cardiac parent here. I will never forget the screams of a mother whose child lost their fight, and the nurse who came in to care for my daughter 5 mins later. I could tell she was heartbroken but keeping it together, and she comforted my daughter who was scared by what she had just heard. I was- am- in awe of good nurses. God bless you all.

[@arkboi2145]

Sweet baby Austin is too precious for this world.

[@Bilal_Aslam_]

God damn it … laughed in the beginning … cried in the end … RESPECT for all healthcare professionals … can’t imagine doing what you guys do

[@somenerdyblonde]

+

[@sydneyg5316]

I’m happy he brought up this topic! He showed how ridiculous it is and fake to do something like that!

[@rochelleb973]

Thank you to all the health care workers. 🙏 👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@gailnix5462]

Thank you 🙏

[@lania3717]

When an RN and a narcissist collide. I've been a nurse for 23 years, first 13 in the NICU. I've lost patients who died the same day they were born and lost patients who suffered for months. Never have I once thought "hey, let's make this about me.". Edit: I'm not saying I never cry. But I don't call attention to myself. I go to the lounge, the restroom, the supply closet because it's not about me.

[@alicekoscianski]

I lost 2 patients this Friday and two more the Friday before. Never crossed my mind to pick up my phone and post about it. This is insane

[@BelleDreamer7]

Thank you for this. I’ve been reading the comments and I want to say a big “thank you” to all the nursing staff. I have lost loved ones and had amazing men and women there. Thank you for what you do and know that we do not think you all are like her. We know you are not.

[@YSO992]

My mom's a nurse and she usually holds it together until she gets home where she can safely break down or just talk it out with us. She'll always think about the person she lost and her interactions with them, a time when they made her laugh or if she made them laugh. That's how she gets through it, not making a freaking tiktok. Like... What in the actual f was this woman thinking.

[@slCHARACOUNSELING]

I work with a hospice and have witnessed many deaths. Never would I consider filming any portion, because it's not about me or anyone other than the patient and their family. That work prepared me to see my dad pass. What affected me most were the nurses who came after his passing to clean his body while we waited for the funeral home. I am forever grateful to them for treating him with such respect and dignity and didn't make it about themselves.

[@amjPeace]

While my mother-in-law lay dying in the nursing home the nurse and aides were tenderly caring for her. I'll always remember the one nurse who pulled the shoulder of her scrubs up to dry her tears while she was leaning over her patient to check her vitals. It touched me also after it was all over that when I exited the room a few of the aides were sitting on the floor in the hallway, leaning against the wall, just worn out and quiet. I hope you healthcare professionals know how much you are appreciated.

[@oakpkdude]

This reminds me of my sister during the worst of COVID. She's and RRT at a hospital and forming relationships with many patients who were dying at an alarming rate really took a toll on her emotionally.

[@z6886]

I know this feeling too well. It's truly heartbreaking.

[@milmillington1709]

Yes . That is so true everytime we lost patients and yet ure need to continue ur work 😭

[@DH-gk8vh]

Totally agree. Completely inappropriate. Years ago when I was in my first pregnancy at my Obgyn visit I overheard one of my doctors in the next room with another patient. All I could make out was "I'm so sorry" and crying. The rest I couldn't make out. I just knew that was the doctors voice speaking to his patient. Months later I found out that was my sister-in-laws sister being told her baby had no brain. She was given a choice to carry the baby to term if she wanted. She did just that. Held the baby after it was born in her hospital room in privacy until the baby's heart stopped. Yeah, he broke down, but he kept it private. He was an awesome doctor.

[@meagain177]

To all the Nurses out there that have experienced the loss of someone they fought for and still had to let them go. Thank you. Your strength and compassion truly means the world for patience and family members.

[@Tink545]

As an RN, for 23 years, that has worked in the ED, ICU and ran a department I can tell you this would never be myself or one of my nurses. Losing a patient effects us definitely,however, in that moment you focus on your deceased patients family and friends. Later you talk it out or cry it out with co-works, your personal support system or some literally work out at the gym or run miles. We don’t count the hours we have left on a shift and we don’t poor me! It hurts, it’s tough but we never lose sight of the fact it’s not about us or our feelings in that moment period.

[@LulaMae21]

Lol every nurse I know counts the hours even on good days, and we like our jobs.

[@dustin4450]

Immediately after this video her and 12 other female nurses probably went up to a Male patient who was unconscious and under anesthesia and lifted his gown to laugh n gawk n sexually humiliate the innocent defenseless unconscious male patient. Ya female nurses really care about Male patients... so much so they find it hilarious to sexually assault them while they are unconscious and under anesthesia

[@giovannigiorgio4622]

@@LulaMae21 BAHAHAHA too true.

[@Large_Sarge]

People. We all sympathize with nurses. Being critical of her does not mean we don't acknowledge how hard it is to be a nurse. But, she took the time to record and edit this. How can you defend that? It comes across staged and fake AF.

[@teshgsgsh1791]

Yeah, sometimes those feelings are a make or break moments for your career. To slap it on social media for clout feels a little... disingenuous.

[@Khakasa]

Not healthcare professional. But a frequent flyer.. I have painsomnia and I don't know why, so many deaths would happen just at the beginning of night shift. Or at times the whole family finally gathers around to say goodbye and the machines switched off. The nurses would keep a stoic face for the family. Take care of all the plans, move to mortuary, remove sheets etc Then just come break down in my room. So, don't know about her specifically, but I know for a fact that I've seen that scene many times esp with long-term illness patients who become family. I know for sure if I go during several of my nurses' shifts. They won't have to act. Someone could take them right at that breakdown moment, no edits needed..

[@Absbabs88]

Maybe it was. I didn't see anything saying the patient literally just passed. Maybe the nurse was recreating a moment.

[@tmm6884]

So, it's the staging that bothers you?

[@Absbabs88]

@@tmm6884 if she did it in the moment it happened, people bitch. If she did it later to express a feeling, people bitch.

[@marvahinspace]

You captured really well how the whole situation felt. Everything does have its own place and time and hers was not it.

[@mishac6857]

I’ve lost many patients over the years as a hospital based Physio. I’ve hugged family members and cried with them, I’ve participated in blessings, I’ve said silent prayers but not once have I felt the need to video it.

[@dustin4450]

I'm sure 15 minutes after that video her and 10 other female nurses went up to an innocent defenseless unconscious male patient under anesthesia and lifted his gown up and laughed n sexually humiliated while he was unconscious. Ya female nurses "care" so much about their Male patients.... so much so female nurses find it HILARIOUS to sexually assault and sexually degrade them while they are sedated

[@xaleypoo4779]

Patient transporter here, and I'm of the generation that would record this. I've only ever lost one patient. She wasn't even supposed to be my patient, I just happened to be there and the nurse grabbed me and said "We need a CT." So we went right down and the patient coded and passed on the CT. I took my break early that day and all I did was sit in the break room quietly with a cold drink, reflecting and collecting myself. I will never forget her name. It's rough, and people cope in different ways, and I believe it's okay to talk about your experience with others, but recording a video for clout is completely inappropriate.

[@AshleySmith-k5k]

People often forget how important support staff like yourself are! And how you too are effected by the sad things experienced in medicine. I am sure that nurse was so grateful she was able to grab you to try and get her patient a scan. And if they family knew, they’d be grateful for your quick transport and attempt to help❤️ and the patient is probably happy 1 more person here on earth remembers her!

[@starshadow3210]

I'm late in replying but, I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

[@Magdalenasfears]

When my dad had to be taken off a vent during the beginning of covid because there weren't enough, the doctor and the respiratory therapist cried while we said our goodbyes over speakerphone. We felt so bad for them. They fought so hard to save my dad. It's good to know that even though we weren't allowed there, people who fought for him for 2 weeks were. My sister, who had covid as well, went to pick up his belongings and the icu doctor brought them down and started crying, trying to hug my sister. My sister had to wave her off, reminding her she had covid too (they suggested my infected sister pick the stuff up instead of me risking infection with asthma). I don't know how we'd have felt if they decided to make a tiktok instead...

[@jlmann8109]

What country was this?

[@Magdalenasfears]

@jlmann8109 the US, in the state of Michigan where they refused to send extra ventilators in the beginning of the pandemic. He went in in March of 2020 and was taken off the vent April 9th. He was the 166th death in my state and we were one of the hardest hit in the US at the time. I believe the death rate was 24% back then.

[@stephgall72]

Thank you to all of you that are there for us and our families! It may seem silly but I’m sending big ((HUGS)) to each and every one of you!!!!

[@amberpennington1217]

I appreciate this. Loosing patients is the hardest part of the job and what caused me to burn out very fast as an ER veterinary nurse. I appreciate the awareness this brings to the pain this job has. Stuff like this makes it real for others and makes people like me not feel so alone. So many at the hospitals I worked at were just angry. The feeling of heavy depression is real too and needs to be shown. People think human and animal nurses and doctors are bullet proof, when in reality we are the most feeling of them all out there.

[@victoriadavis4608]

I’ve lost many patients as a nurse & never once did I think, let me get on social media about it & reveal myself 🤦🏽‍♀️. I’d go cry in the restroom, wash my face, take a deep breath & get back to work. In my 7 years of nursing, I’ve witnessed the shift smh.

[@Pohlmaster]

That’s how you deal with this stuff and others deal with it differently. Are you tough for ‚just‘ crying in the bathroom on your own? I personally think it is tough to show this to others because unfortunately in our society it is locked down on. Steveioe is also dealing with the stuff he experienced online in the form of videos, he just does it differently than she does. Have you criticized steveioe for doing it? No. Would you have the balls to show to others how your job makes you feel sometimes? No.

[@KristinHall0918]

I recently lost my fiancee. He was in ICU for a week and then transferred to hospice care in hospital. He never woke up from the time they brought him in but every single nurse who took care of him was absolutely amazing. They spoke to him like he could answer, treated him with dignity and respect. Not only did they take care of him but me as well because I wouldnt leave his side I lived there with him. They cried with me during the worst parts, laughed with me when talking about good memories, listened when I told them who he was, and cheered with me during brief moments of hope. When he passed they were nothing but supportive and understanding. I cannot imagine a single one of them using one of the worst periods of my life for "views". I am forever grateful to them. In fact I really wish I could think of something to do to thank them. There were quite a few and I dont have much money but I want to do something just to show how much I truly appreciated every single moment they helped us fight.

[@BellatrixWolfDean]

I don't know what to feel about the situation.. I moved bodies in covid into refrigerator trucks I was security I had no nursing degree or even emt at the time wasn't supposed to be our job.. iwas moving 14 bodies per shift normally and at one point we had to stack them , we'd do inventory of the bodies twice per shift.. I didn't think it effected me. But I started seeing the people I put in trucks in real life and then when I would see someone pass I'd be overwhelmed with emotion walk out start crying.. I got diagnosed with ptsd at the end of 2021. But I didn't ever record my feelings. I know she probably felt the way I did.. or maybe that was her way of coping?

[@caroljo420]

My doctor was in training at County-USC Medical Center in Los Angeles in the '80s. He told me how devastating all the deaths were, and how they would go outside and cry after losing a patient. As he told me about it, I could see the pain he still feels from going through that. It broke my heart.

[@squidward645]

The hospital I used to work at had a strict social media policy that would get your ass fired immediately if you pulled a stunt like this. And thankfully none of the medical staff were stupid enough to film themselves dancing while their patients died alone like some hospitals (cough cough).

[@nickyjones867]

You would be in deep sh** if you filmed this in the UK as well.

[@terminatort2t800]

Respect to all the medical staff who endure the pains and stay strong

[@Fiery154]

Worked in a SNF and also SPED, when I heard “lost a patient” my mind first went to ELOPER, and I’m like “BETTER GO FIND THEM!” I got accused of losing a tiny angry old lady with dementia on my 2nd day on the job. They found her at the bus stop, and also it wasn’t my fault.

[@tintinismybelgian]

My mother worked at a nursing home where a guy got out and was found walking along the train tracks.

[@tbella5186]

Sorry, but I giggled at tiny angry old lady! Had a 100 year old spitfire call me a B*** cause she wanted a roll with her lunch, I smiled and said yes ma'am. May we all have such fire into old age!

[@marysalmon2367]

YES LOL! the only time i've cried is during covid when the deaths just kept coming, too hard to absorb but you didn't display emotions in the hallway, that a closed door kinda thing. social worker here, we're supposed to be the support system. the thing i love most about our nurses and docs are their cool demeanor under pressure. do they have ways of releasing it later? they better for their own mental health, but they dont do it at work.

[@Robynhoodlum]

This is why Silver Alerts are so important!

[@kathleech8044]

I am a mental health nurse and I thought lost as in AWOL too……

[@sarap9431]

I feel like she could've found a different way to get her message across that wasn't as seemingly self-serving. I do think people need to understand what healthcare staff go through but this doesn't really help anything.

[@iyunoluolawuyi]

Precisely @Sara P... the motive seems self serving.

[@LadyBern]

The TV show Scrubs was able to teach me that in a nonoffensive way in an episode's b plot.

[@disneyprincessintraining2725]

So I’m a nurse. Good grief, every time I think humanity can’t get worse I see people act like this. I have cried over patients, especially working hospice. But never have I done a video about them and put it online. That poor family. We’re nurses, we hold it together and give care. It is NOT about getting glory

[@tenderprecious]

Glad you touched on this

[@Blake-tg2vg]

When my dad was in the hospital he had this awesome nurse and one day he came with red eyes and it was so devastating when we asked him why. I appreciate him so much ❤

[@ariellas.5150]

This would've never crossed my mind doing a video abt it. I worked many years in nursing and hospice. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@annieainegoolie1749]

As not a nurse and several times a patient, I was not offended by her tiktok. She did not disclose any personal details about her patient and the circumstances of that death. She seemed to make more of a comment that she (and by suggestion other nurses like her) were left alone in a hallway to cope without any emotional support. So I wasn’t angry, I just wanted to give her a hug.

[@Lashlove16]

I recently lost my cat . I ran to the vet thinking she might still have a chance . This was in a new state I just moved to and they never met me before . They immediately rushed her without me signing any docs . A few min later they brought me into a room and 2 of the techs sat with me as brought my cat to me. They were so kind , they told me I can stay but I wanted to go home with my fiancée and be alone . They were so kind . They never even asked for a penny . I did go back and buy them some donuts and thank them a few weeks later when I felt better . Medical professionals are the best and thank you for all that you do

[@lawanam7201]

I don't think anyone will say losing a patient is easy. Personally though that moment of "I just lost my patient" normally hits later. After the adrenaline fades, the shield put up to talk to the family is down and you are still. Then that wave hits you, and for myself that pep talk never happens out in the hallway. It's alone somewhere to have a little breakdown then put that professional face back on to care for patients the rest of shift.

[@dustin4450]

15 minutes after this video her and 10 other female nurses probably went up to an innocent defenseless unconscious male patient under anesthesia and lifted his gown up to laugh and gawk and sexually humiliate the UNCONSCIOUS Male patient. So ya female nurses "care" so much about their Male patients.... so much so female nurses find it HILARIOUS to sexually assault and sexually degrade them while unconscious. Ya ya ya I know I know I know.... you never seen or heard of this happening before. Ya ok 😂😂😂

[@sinneadfert]

Worked long term care for over 2 decades. I am really of two minds about this. Yes, this can actually help "others" understand how the death of a patient we care for can affect us, we have to go on regardless. And while I get how/what she is feeling, this was the wrong time. Make something after you get home.

[@Sinvention]

God, the fact I knew which video it was beforehand 😳

[@sherryblake7618]

You are so crazy ,,and I LOVE IT WE NEED more like you in the hospitals

[@noxirs7059]

Professionals whom film themeselves being overly dramatic for clout are absolutely distasteful.

[@angeliquefortenbach6769]

It take special people to be able to even handle such a hard thing to go though, I pray for you all!

[@heather5540]

We unexpectedly lost a long term patient the other day, although not on the ward as we had sent her to the ICU for intensive antibiotics and fluids etc and honestly, the first thing I or anyone thought about doing was consoling her partner and hugging it out. Recording myself didn’t even enter my mind

[@preciousonejewel]

thank you nurses for all you do. i spend a lot of time in hospital because my health is pretty poor and ive always been cared for so well.

[@pancakeday4866]

She may be a great nurse, but this was inappropriate. Definitely a lapse in judgement. Having said that, I think most of us have done something that could be judged as inappropriate, possibly even at a job. Unfortunately for her, this one is recorded for all posterity.

[@GinEric84]

Oh she for sure is NOT a great nurse

[@sandygee1927]

😬 I don’t think you’d see a great nurse in this type of video

[@its_ieshiawhite_and_co4596]

You worded that very well

[@JackieOwl94]

I have a feeling her social media clout-chasing might have contributed to the patient passing, but don’t quote me on it. It just sounds suspicious.

[@KMx108]

​​@@JackieOwl94her priorities while on duty certainly don't appear to be self-managed all that well.

[@carlycharlesworth1497]

I laughed at first but that was because of your dramatic 'gone too soon' bit, Steve, but then I sobered up real fast when I saw the terrible grief on that nurses face. I now feel guilty because I laughed. You guys do so much for us, but sadly despite your best efferts, when life ends it ends and that's not your fault. You can only help the body so far. I feel for you and I am so grateful for all the nurses the world over, you guys are hero's of the greatest kind alive! Thank you for your service. God bless you and all those you love.

[@isisbenny404]

The first time I lost a patient I ran into the break room to cry, called my mom for comfort and went right back to work after. Was a miserable traumatic day that I won't forget.

[@Bailemos888]

thank you to all those great professionals, God bless you.

[@Fauna4ever]

This is disgusting behavior, I'm not a Doctor, but as a CNA, I have stood by the bedside as someone fades from life...never would I glorify the loss of a person just for views, if I had a channel or TikTok, or whatever. I believe this is showcasing just this, how inappropriate this would be! Keep up the good work Steve-o

[@darcy5761]

As an RN I agree with you 100%.

[@murdermittens007]

I saw that video. I think it needs to be seen. We need to know what nurses go through and have compassion for them. Her video hit me in the gut, as it should have.

[@elpaso2855]

My RN husband has seen similar things at work, except from the grieving (?) family members. He witnessed one young adult who had just lost her grandfather film herself crying about how it wasn't fair over and over and over, until she was happy with her performance. Sickening narcissistic behavior.

[@bunnyolson9484]

I've watched for 2 yrs.and have never seen this.brillant.luv your w0rk.from the frozen praire of South Dakota peace

[@sandygee1927]

When ever I’ve lost a patient. It was never about me, it was always about them. What she did makes me cringe. It’s like a guilt trip…

[@barbararich3060]

My mom worked as an RN in Oncology. Till her dying day she mourned this one young woman. She left a husband and a six month old, it really got to my mom.

[@Supernova71288]

You don't need to bottle that shit up, but making a tiktok like this is just disgusting. Take a few moments to center yourself and get back into helping the rest of the patients who need you. If you really need to vent about it as a way of stress relief, do it after you leave for the day...

[@tintinismybelgian]

Or, if you must film yourself contemporaneously with the moment of expiry, save it to your private videos, never to share with anyone.

[@KAM-rl6tz]

I loved ALL of this!! 👏🏾👏🏾🥰 We’re living in some absurd times.

[@lmatthews39]

As a former EMT I can say the last thing I ever thought was to make a tik tok. Smh

[@Jane-qf5pl]

Love all your characters. You are hysterical !!!

[@shannonc8087]

As a health care worker, I try to remember... If I'm having a bad day because someone else's day is going even worse.

[@sagharawolf]

Sometimes you need a minute or two, it's hard but rewarding to be a nurse

[@KessyEileen04]

As a nurse, honestly, who has the time to do this? When someone passes there's so much to do! Even if you're trying to give the family time with the patient, you're paging a chaplain, calling organ donation, checking on another patient, charting, and notifying others. I don't know when you'd get the time to do it.

[@huhi7930]

exactly this 💯

[@michellemartinov6267]

Sadly that’s the reality of what nursing is. Stuffing food down your throat while charting, running to take a 1 minute bathroom break 9 hours after you started your shift. You probably already have a new patient before post mortum care has been done and you’ve finished charting and allowed the family some time to come to terms with the death of their family member.

[@BlackSeranna]

That’s kind of what I wondered. All the nurses that ever took care of me were hustling from room to room.

[@MyFiddlePlayer]

Exactly. I've always played stoic with the family and my coworkers so that the things that need to happen can get done. Then I go home and have a somber moment later. Everyone grieves differently, but making a scene in the hallway (however quietly) while on camera wouldn't be my style.

[@Celestia18]

When my father in law died, his doctor tried so hard to keep it together, to be compassionate but professional. But in the end, he cried with us, and I think that actually helped my husband and mother in law, knowing others were affected as well. I think the difference is, some people in these situations seem to show their emotions in order to get sympathy and support, and some do it to show solidarity and that they're feeling pain or grief like the family, but they're doing it as a form of support, not to detract from what the family is going through.

[@ashleyboudreau8341]

Ya it definitely rubs me the wrong way...death is absolutely the worst part of working in this field. I work in an assisted living home so we get to know our residents very well, many fee l like family. It's beyond gut wrenching when someone dies and you gotta just keep on going cause there's still 100 other people you need to take care of for the rest of your shift. But recording it for internet clout? Cringe. I'm grateful I've got awesome coworkers and we can lean on each other during those times but I would feel very icky pulling my phone out during those moments. It's weird.

[@appleonaya2659]

As in inpatient trauma trained phleb I'm often holding onto somebody when they call it or still trying to get blood even though they know it's a DOA. There are often times when the family is called in. I'm poking and moving people around that we lose or aren't going to make it - often with family screaming and crying outside the curtain. Then right back to work. We don't paid time off or grief counseling like other professions and I often say people have no idea what we are expected to deal with. I want to grab you, hug you, and cry on your shoulder. There are no works for how grateful I am that you posted this.

[@migglemaggle9500]

Thanks. It must be hard. They try so hard to help.

[@howdoyouknowthat]

Brilliant commentary, made your points with biting humor, not a direct diatribe, you rock! I refused to watch her video, yet now I'm totally, painlessly, educated on its content. You rock!

[@enenenergp]

I saw a version with the same idea of showing what it’s like for the nurse on tiktok but it was clearly an acted scenario and I don’t think that one was distasteful but idk what you guys would think. Basically it went like: 1st scene, someone announces time of death. 2nd scene: nurse goes out of the room to take a 5second breather in the corridor, no dramatics just a deep breath, 3rd scene: she walks into the next patients room smiling to ask something mundane. I think it was a good way of demonstrating how you have to put your own feelings to the side or process them really fast because you can’t let your emotions affect how you treat your next patient.

[@ArchFiendFolio]

I really like the real life... it makes it really hit home, well done

[@paulakaye2108]

You’re a genius, and you’ve shown us that this nurse was truly struggling with the feelings of futility that were overwhelming her. This is what burn-out looks like. That said; WHY would she put this up on TikTok unless it was to somehow justify her leaving the Nursing profession? Because, let’s face it, I don’t know of any body who would feel comfortable being taken care of by her.

[@jennakhivkapratt8751]

That's a really great point! We collectively don't want her as our nurse.

[@somenerdyblonde]

+ I also think she shared it to show the struggle and burn-out. I wonder how many struggling, burnt out medical professionals scroll through TikTok at night and could relate to this.

[@jennakhivkapratt8751]

@@somenerdyblonde is relatable for sure .... and that's why you're seeing a lot of nurses voice that they don't like it. This is a *SACRED* moment that she turned cheap. It's in poor taste and turns the focus to an attention-seeking person as a stunt and means to get attention.

[@tommiegirl2441]

The nurses I know go the exact opposite direction in dealing with loss - on both sides of the equation. During the loss of a patient, their thoughts are pretty much all on being there for the family. However, when one does break down, it's usually in a supply closet or a staff room or somewhere that they won't be immediately overheard or seen. The others protect his/her privacy, and if someone stays, it's to be there for a colleague - it's sure as hell not to pull out a phone and start filming! Some moments should be personal! Shout out to all the medical professionals who leave it on the floor every night because that's what you freaking do. And yet another standing O for Steveieoe. Good show as usual!

[@kaysplace4264]

Never easy to loose a patient.

[@JustinAdamsMD]

Even harder to lose one.

[@ryanfoley2939]

@@JustinAdamsMD that made me laugh so fucking hard

[@Squiglebot]

I'm an ITU nurse. During the height of the pandemic... The beds weren't even cold before we were putting another dying pt in them. There were days we lost so many. Honestly, you kept your shit together until you got to your car on your way home. I never once thought... I know... I'll make a tiktok.

[@chloemonet]

Guys listen 👂🏿 I think it’s really just a way for them to one get their emotions out and two to just share to the world how hard doctors and nurses work and that it’s not an easy job not for clout or money , while there are some people who do do it for money and clout I really think a lot of people to it so we really understand

[@orihallmark]

in this situation though, her breaking down when the camera is already rolling seems more like faking it rather than actual emotion. If it was so emotional and upsetting that you would have your head in your hands, why would the thought even enter your mind that “I should video this and put it on tiktok?” And why would she even take the video while still on her shift? The fact that she also took the time to edit some uplifting music “I’m unstoppable” seems even more self serving. It feels like she just wanted people to feel sorry for her, not for other nurses and doctors in her situation.

[@chloemonet]

@@orihallmark that is a valid point. I completely agree 😁😁

[@hollygonzalez6298]

I'll add that usually you do find a private spot outside or in the building to do it.

[@brandonp7503]

Let me be the billionth nurse to comment here that this nurse's video is inappropriate, and is obviously staged "grieving" to stroke her narcissistic ego and get pity points. The only option other than shaking it off and getting back to work is going home and leaving the unit short so the remaining, living patients can receive more minimal care. If you don't like having to shake it off and get back to keeping the rest of your patients alive, then please kindly get out of my profession, and stop making the rest of us look unprofessional. Hilarious video, though, Steveioe, and good commentary on a timely professional issue.

[@heathercollier3491]

Well said

[@taylorbritt499]

I mean you don't have to like it, but you still have to do it. Saying "if you don't like it, leave" is kinda harsh. I wouldn't _like_ having a patient die and having to still work for 5 more hours. Id do it because it's my job but it's not wrong to acknowledge how much that sucks. That being said I do agree her video is wrong. But the "suck it up buttercup" attitude coming off your comment rubs me the wrong way - it's totally human to be upset by death, especially the death of someone you've cared for.

[@brandonp7503]

@@taylorbritt499 Yeah, you're right. I should've said "If you find that unacceptable." No one likes it.

[@anomalousoddity]

I agree totally with what you said and that Taylor is just nit picking. Ignore that shit. You're entitled to have that view.

[@taylorbritt499]

@@anomalousoddity they're entitled to have that view and I'm entitled to think it's a harsh and unempathetic way to word it. They already agreed with me that they were wrong to be so harsh so idk what your point is.

[@JannyMaha]

Perfect reenactment. Spot on.

[@alatheiaproue4839]

I think it would be one thing if it was done as a vlog, but staged like that: how do you have time on shift? WHY would you make it on shift? I’d love to know her thoughts/feelings, like a recap in her car at the end of the day to process and/or share her feelings and provide a “real” glimpse…this just makes me cringe if it’s even real…

[@FairbrookWingates]

Lol, time indeed! I can just imagine such happening at my place of work (medical); they'd be glared at and snapped at by everyone else busy *working* around them. And if they were on break, they'd be told to stay out of the way and go to the break room. That being said, filming a "okay, rough time here" while sitting in a private (non-patient) space such as a break room, that could have worked.

[@Pohlmaster]

@@FairbrookWingates if nurses have a break, they are not allowed to go around? How do you know where exactly this is filmed? You are just assuming that 1) she was on duty (talking about how others would glare at her) and 2) that she is on a break (what about after her shift?) 3) that she is not allowed to be there IF she was on a break 4) that she would be in someone’s way standing there in this big hallway (how do you know? Do you know this hospital? Do you know the exact time this was recorded? Do you know how busy it was there?). You have to make A LOT of assumptions to justify your opinion.

[@FairbrookWingates]

@@Pohlmaster If you'll reread my first response, please, I did write "at my place of work". So I did not state I knew anything of her place. You made an assumption there yourself. :) That being said, a breakroom would still be best due to HIPPA laws and most medical settings technically not allowing personal devices on the floor.

[@jamesflynn8443]

@@Pohlmaster As a nurse for 41-years and a Nursing Instructor for 21 of those years I can honestly say that in spite of all your excuses for her behavior in the video she seemed histrionic and unprofessional. Period. She presented herself as an active nurse who had just lost a patient and still had more hours to go on her shift. She was leading the viewers to believe that she was in a hospital and on a ward. Making a video of that scene was like stopping at an accident to see the carnage. It was just inappropriate and indefensible. Look at all of the nurses commenting on the video. When so many see so much wrong with her having herself filmed you have to realize that nurses don´t do this kind of thing. It was just embarrassing to the profession. Maybe she needs to reconsider the profession she joined--it is not just a job.

[@hoofarted]

I've lost patients in the hospital, I've lost a patient in the field before they were even hoisted into the van. Hell my first night ever working in medicine (EMT-Basic class) I got half a leg all over me due to necrotizing fasciitis. The poor patient had free flowing air from medial thigh up to the URQ (upper right quadrant of abdomen) And *None* of those patients bothered me after I had to run a code on an 11 year old and I never got to know the result. *Those* patients are why I'm still in therapy

[@bilindalaw-morley161]

Also, I was honestly waiting for a punchline about chasing the patient. "Austin, go see if she's in the cafeteria" so the ending had even more oooomph

[@TinaKins87]

Thank you to all the nurses and doctors who go through the pain of watching their patients die. Yes we need to be more aware that they go through this often but that nurse that made the og ticktok went the wrong way about it

[@lenaeospeixinhos]

Don't be angry with me, nurses of KZbin, but during the pandemic TikToks of hospital personnel desperate because of all the loss were important to get out since there were so many deniers going around saying the hospitals were empty and it was all a lie. Meanwhile, you were under an insane amount of pressure and mental break. Not sure it applies to this situation but you're human and some people don't get that and think you're robots or something. Love you all for your work, stay strong, friends ❤

[@eviep7134]

First of all it's not like she is the only one who had posted a video it's been a hard on our nurses doctors and staff showing what emotion and showing the truth yeah that's hard I guess to watch but it's the truth I'm sure we lose people everyday but when it's your profession that doesn't mean you're not human I'm glad she made the video I'm glad they all make the videos I think it's a good healing process as well❤💯🙏