NZ Army/Airforce training exposed!

[@Bee-ks8tl]

Have you guys considered he pulls off the tight pants incredibly well?? My man has legs for days and calves for the gods…

[@cuandotumedasunagalleta7169]

Why hes so good at being Stede, 90% calf work

[@AdAstraBaby]

My thoughts exactly 💯

[@jezg]

Leggey blonde

[@marycanary86]

he was born for those silk stockings and for that general air of utter incompetence

[@gretchenzick]

The tight pants are the main thing I’m noticing.😊

[@dumbalek6001]

I love Rhys's "young Rhys" impression. It's so adorable my girlfriend and I just keep saying "bullets bullets bullets" in this voice to eachother randomly at least once a day.

[@followingwaves]

It gets me when he cracks himself up. Love a comedian that loves his own jokes 😂

[@NewYorkCityUtopia]

I can't get Mystic Time Bird in video in my country, only audio (grr), and the little chuckles stand out... love them.

[@wolfganghendery8298]

Yeah my mate was in the RNZAF, they couldn't afford to train them with actual helicopters so they made the recruits wave their hands in a circle going 'chkachkachkachka' mimicking the sound of a real helicopter while the instructor trained them lmfao.

[@P.Subaeruginosa]

I love how all of these new Zealand army training scenarios may as well have no simulation and instead have you do it in your head but for some reason they chose the most comical way to do it

[@jacobroscoe6433]

@@P.Subaeruginosa they don't do that since they raised the budget now it's nearly 6 billion and they use blanks like every other army

[@jacobroscoe6433]

Dude 😂 they have a 50 million dollar helicopter simulator I know your joking but just in case you didn't know

[@P.Subaeruginosa]

@@jacobroscoe6433 I'm very serious and I'm clearly talking about this time period as hes talking about this time period, nationalism is a poison.

[@jacobroscoe6433]

@@P.Subaeruginosa you haven't even been in the military 😂 my brother is an officer in the army and in about to go into basic training in 1992 the defense budget was at it's lowest the military uses blanks and live rounds for training now days you don't know what you are talking about

[@ris_harp]

We did “bullets bullets bullets” in the US Army, too. And “simulated kill”.

[@bri4935]

the New Zealand army out there LARPING "BULLETS BULLETS BULLETS

[@zacandmillie]

Early days in my army career in the mid 90s we'd yell 'Buckets of bullets, buckets of bullets' when we were carrying the machine gun

[@ericthompson3982]

This dude is one of my favorite comedians. His command of the adorable and absurd is so fun to watch.

[@breefeez]

This crowd was so lame, Rhys was brilliant!!

[@DinoPimp]

I love how hopelessly low budget New Zealand used to be. I work with quite a few old buggers who are ex NZ Army, and I seem to recall a couple of them saying how farcical it could be at times. Oodly enough those who served during that time and made it to their pension date got a better deal than those who are entering the military now.

[@zaynevanday142]

I was in the Army around the same time and I can confirm we actually did this shit usually Territorials (Part time)

[@zaynevanday142]

Fkn ole Bullets Bullets Bullets

[@darrylhobbs3200]

Wait till the other guy says Tank Tank Tank.... @@zaynevanday142

[@johntavish8750]

Also true for the French Army, back in 2008 I use to shout a lot of "BRATATATATATATA PEW PEW PEW". Yep. Fun times.

[@greshaw89]

They are some rather tight pants.

[@sarahday6016]

I can't even hear what hes saying - his pants are so tight

[@Beveck1]

@@sarahday6016 he is trash who is he

[@CaptainKirkDiggler]

I agree. The bottom of those pants are awful tight... Rhys still rules though.

[@kore5080]

​@officerbarbrady3975wait, when?!

[@efnissien]

The bit about the NZ army running out of money because of the Steyr AUG isn't unusual, Ireland bought the Steyr too and ehhh, yeah well, ummmmm. Oh and am I the only person who's intrigued by the irony of the New Zealand airforce having a Kiwi as it's symbol, yeah I get 'Kiwi' as the nickname for New Zealanders but a Flightless bird for the airforce?

[@EuroGuy85]

to mimic their flightless planes bro 😂

[@leviroch]

It's coz the entire country is full of smartarses, same as straya. They recently voted a bat as their favourite bird for the exact same reason lol

[@nzgunnie]

To be fair, the Skyhawks were purchased new in 1970, and Hobsonville didn't have tarmack, it was a grass airfield. However I've also run around with a steyr yelling bullets, bullets, bullets.

[@megadox3713]

This is very factual, I have fired “bullets” and also pretended to be a Punzgauer in a field

[@monkeyspankerful]

In the build up to the Gulf War, we needed to conserve ammunition... I carried the big, black gun, the GPMG, we shouted "Banana, banana, banana!".

[@rhysdarby8315]

Brilliant.

[@followingwaves]

Looking respectfully at these tight pants 👀

[@stanista]

Those are THE skinniest jeans I have ever seen

[@followingwaves]

@@stanista he must have bought them specifically for the first part of his stand up too. Just imagine him going to the shops asking for the tightest trousers they had.

[@xadrikxaulxu]

The nz A4 look out...and the Semple....weelll cast a glance botno touchie!!!

[@CaptainKirkDiggler]

🎶Everybody's talking bout his tight pants... he's got his tight pants, he's got his tight pants on...🎶

[@elyandoly]

Am I the only one who was distracted by his legs the whole time?

[@belumptuous]

Did you put your jeans in the dryer Rhys? Robin Hood called, he wants his tights back.

[@rhysdarby8315]

I'd give them back if his legs were as good as mine!

[@mobrien7618]

This man did once win a Sexy Legs Contest though

[@toothpastehombre]

"some of this isn't true"

[@JoshuaFletch]

Great name for a stand up special.

[@Beveck1]

True

[@Beveck1]

Facts

[@cynsini9211]

Needed a Coran fix, found "bullets bullets bullets" - thank you for the "laughter laughter laughter"!

[@xomniacpictures]

So NZ airforce training was theater camp? Love that

[@gloriadevilliers2900]

Yup, bullets bullets bullets for the steyer and banana banana banana for the light support weapon...

[@skuney4851]

i think the nz army in the 90s was just a dance camp

[@Apis4]

I'm pretty sure the Skyhawks came from the Australian Air Force, when the Australian Navy decided to decommission the HMAS Melbourne (the aircraft carrier they were used on), and no longer had need for them (Australian Government had just signed a deal to buy a ton of F18s, so even if they replaced the Melbourne ...which they were not sure about, they had better planes for any future carrier). I think the plan initially, was simply to canvas wrap them, and bury them, just like they eventually did with their squadron of F111's, but then New Zealand put their hand up and said they could take them off our hands, and the Australian Government was like "Bonza, not our problem now" I think it was field guns the NZ Army salvaged from the sea.

[@robertlefale7995]

I used to throw pine cones! Grenade!

[@addrock7695]

Me and my old man, ambushed the airforce sprogs, who were on a training course at the back of our farm, many moons ago.. All we could afford was a bucket of over ripe peaches.. But still better than “Bullets Bullets Bullets”.. They lost a lot of men that afternoon, good men..🤣🤣

[@rustysmith540]

There's not enough pants where there should be more pants

[@sarahday6016]

For the love of god, give your pants back to your girlfriend

[@fenoftheforest]

those pants are so distracting. damn this man has legs for days

[@richardward2469]

Hello Rhys, I remember working with you on wrecked in Fiji 💖I was a dolly grip.

[@burntsconeoops4692]

Wow, he is so funny *stares at pants* hah... thats a good machine gun sound...

[@michaelahsin2187]

That’s true, everything on a budget

[@Beveck1]

Its not true fuck off

[@jcom3837]

@@Beveck1 it’s true

[@MattDawson01]

I've heard the story about the source of the sky hawks before, but it was actually the source of our artillery pieces. Story goes, at the end of WW2 USA was dumping m101 105mm howitzers in the Mississippi and NZ came and pulled them out and took them home. Bound to be an element of truth in it somewhere. Great story about bullets bullets bullets, was still doing it in '99, takes me back.

[@kashiichan]

"YA BUGGERED!"

[@colonelkurtz2269]

The A4 Skyhawk was developed in the 50s to replace the prop Douglas Skyraider. It was an ground attack jet and also had a nuclear mission.

[@zaynevanday142]

I joined in 1992 as a 16 year old 1 year too early 😂 I was still at high school

[@goodshipkaraboudjan]

Funnily enough the Skyhawks actually came from Australia after HMAS Melbourne was sold.

[@mathewfoster7027]

I threw wadded up foil balls lightning bolt!lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

[@zaynevanday142]

Remember the time they sent us to Bosnia without proper Armour 😂 there was a shit storm in Parliament over that 😂

[@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim]

HOLY CRAP!!!!!

[@zosowon]

so if i ran up to a army guy from new zealand i could point a fake gun and say bullets bullets bullets and he would know what i meant? lmao

[@xadrikxaulxu]

We yelled "fkn BANG!"

[@izzyspell2629]

That just sounds like summer camp

[@crystalskullsucked]

This was great- lame crowd tho

[@TheManCone]

As a kid watching the army in t.v. use laser tag style attachments and gear to train...18 yrs old one week of field training where you sit around with a rubber gun with a flashlight taped to the end of it, and a third of your squadmates are carrying wooden cut outs.

[@jacobroscoe6433]

Thankfully the military is a thousand times better now that the budget has raised a couple billion dollars we have helicopter/plain simulators and the army now trains with blanks and real ammunition alot of the time

[@bubik04]

This video is my comfort thing. Anytime when I'm in a bad mood I watch this video then everything going to be better. Thank you Mr Darby that you exist! But I have only one question: Why do you say "bullets bullets bullets" against "pew-pew-pew"? Is it for because "bullets" could any type of bullet?

[@Degenevesting]

Best airforce roast from an army vet 😂😂😂

[@mel6938]

I love that he makes himself laugh too hes sof funny

[@steviiekixx]

audience sucks, great set

[@graham6132]

The New Zealand army now consists of a man in a room with a telephone, who goes: “Hello, is this America?”

[@kore5080]

Sounds a lot like the Canadian army at that time.

[@mariamforsmark509]

This is brilliant!! 😂

[@jvissers3086]

I chose not to join the military here, but the NZ army sounds like a blast. 😅

[@jameskellard5075]

Brilliant

[@zaynevanday142]

We got our APC’s M113’s and Helicopters as well thanks USA

[@Aloockhard]

it is so cute it should be illegal 😂❤

[@bme9092]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, One Ha for every bullet 😂

[@admiredelta2740]

#RNZAF, *Raises hand* I am going in. XD

[@nomesy81]

Is it a man? Or a bush?

[@rob1399]

Steyr AUGs rock

[@portillamail]

A bit too tight? Old people can't wear those pants

[@ДмитрийЗверев-л1ь]

hi russel

[@thisisjamsomewhere]

😂 😂😂

[@WHANAUPEACE]

Its ALL TRUE!!! LOL!!!

[@Beveck1]

Lmao this is fucking lies

[@jcom3837]

@@Beveck1 all true

[@joenicholls4658]

I am 14 and I live in New Zealand but I want to move to the US and join the USAF

[@bama1usaf]

Fly Fight Win

[@atfjacknz]

Why the RNZAF is far superior.

[@syedmohsin18]

@@atfjacknz in what

[@jamiehamilton6887]

our school slogan then was the army should be doing raffles for bombs and it did seem a waste of money whatever the government was giving them when there was no war

[@Beveck1]

Lies

[@mikk.]

He legit said “some of this isn’t true”