O, Death!

MERCH: horses.land
/ horsespt
/ horses.ig
First and foremost, thanks for clicking on my video.
This essay is a little different than others on my channel. It is a wholly subjective interpretation of the topics and works discussed. It discusses only what I personally take away from a couple of Tolstoy’s writings. Thus, this video leaves out significant parts of both The Confession and The Death of Ivan Ilyich (the former of which is largely a religious text). I would not recommend this video as a substitute for reading either of those works.
Sources:
The Death of Ivan Ilyich and Confession (Peter Carson translation)
God, Guilt, and Death: An Existential Phenomenology of Religion

[@HorsesOnYT]

Hi Everyone: I now have a Patreon: www.patreon.com/HorsesPT Get more material and help keep these videos sponsor-free by supporting me over there. On the Patreon, I will be doing a whole bunch of fun, creative stuff that will never be on the KZbin channel, including: -Exclusive Giveaways -Audiobook recordings -Exclusive video essays -Process/BTS videos -Q+A’s -Sneak peeks -and more! Some eagle-eyed viewers may have noticed that none of my videos have sponsors or product promotions. By refusing these “opportunities,” I am able to prioritize the creative process over the whims of advertisers. Supporting me on Patreon is a great way to help all of this happen. Plus, you’ll get all kinds of extra stuff. Thank you for everything!

[@lunarmoon4596]

Congratulations Horses from 29k to 600k proud of you man!! Keep going & I'm happy i was one of the first ones in the beginning you make my evenings much much better your videos are so entertaining

[@lunarmoon4596]

I love your videos Hemingway napoleon rich people white people seasoning fascism i could go on & on & am still happy to have find like minded individual like you & proud of you for going on here to speak unlike me who only ever thought about it.... wish you'd reach new heights this coming year to mars & beyond the milky way too:)😂

[@Marlowe_Bloem]

I really enjoy your videos and find them both intelligent and informative however I am disappointed in your perspective on God. It is equivalent to that of an 11 year old atheist. I recommend you do some more research on the concept so that you have a more accurate view on God.

[@sarasotauptoseattle]

The law of polarity answers the question of death. The deepest level of terror that you can experience as a result of grappling with death is the exact opposite of what you are capable of experiencing in life and to experience such an opposite is to live a life worth dying for. Problem solved.

[@tauba99]

I am thankful for death, but am afraid of one of its possible consequences. All you have is this one life and your deeds, which you take with you into ur grave. No second chances. After death, all control is taken from you, no choosing anymore. From then it will be chosen for you in the most just way. I am thankful to be a Muslim and don't have to search for answers about death anymore.

[@ThorPalsson]

As a caregiver in hospice I can say that the majority of the deaths I have witnessed were pain and anxiety free

[@hornedgod2873]

Thank you for that. I’ve been thinking of volunteering at a hospice.

[@grobble7321]

For you or the person?

[@ItsSeaOtter]

What about the ones that were full of anxiety and pain

[@Tandle779]

For relief, I always tell myself not that my death won't be horrific nor painful. But that it won't be what I expect. Nothing in life is ever what you guess, so likely death will happen and take over in ways that I can't meta-analyze it as a I do in my morbid fantasies

[@MusicEnthuZone]

Thank you for this. Today I found out my Dad, longterm illness, hasn't got long. I'm currently making plans to travel to my home country and basically say goodbye. I hope he feels peace when his time comes.

[@viktor__]

Horses has quickly become one of the best YT channels of 2023. The consistency in quality this guy puts out is remarkable.

[@AS-lt7jj]

Agree asf

[@BOZ_11]

would bang

[@jiminut]

Top comment on every Horses.

[@domdominique2603]

Equinophilia is real! 🎠

[@ETime97]

Fully agree with this .

[@HigherSelfKorea]

No music, just white noise in the background, and still a masterpiece of storytelling. Thanks for proving that it's not all about flashiness. Grandiose!

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@dr.berryfx8580]

@@lazar9754i😮 ooooooh o😅oooo😮

[@yasin7068]

​@@lazar9754why do you respond with the same message to multiple posts

[@2ethereal4u]

No music in videos is so so so peaceful. hate the new videos with all this annoying music in the background

[@ATLxstayxawakex]

"i will not delude myself with notions of legacy; all people die, some just take longer to do so" is (ironically) going to stick with me for a long time. absolutely gorgeous piece, thank you for this

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@lazar9754]

Through a legacy you can still have a good effect on the world after youre dead. it is a good thing.

[@yoyoma17]

@@lazar9754 Ok, but what is god?

[@SleepWavezzz]

@@yoyoma17 definitely not a word !

[@cranky_gat0r_]

I’m convinced this guy is physically unable to upload a bad video. You’re a legend man

[@beyondtheillusion333]

I have yet to see a good one...

[@RealityHasAWokeBias]

​@@beyondtheillusion333Then you aren't listening.

[@tydonmusgruv]

@@beyondtheillusion333😮

[@beyondtheillusion333]

​@@RealityHasAWokeBiasI've posted my criticisms, they're in the comment section. The fact is that you are incapable of comprehending his ignorance due to the nature of your own... he is not wise, he's not even a fool. Just a false intellectual, making money off of pathetic broken nihilists.

[@bastadimasta]

He has a hidden TikTok channel.

[@mockley987]

I'm a firefighter/paramedic. I also moonlight as a deputy coroner. I have done both for quite some time. The ever present thought of one's death in the face of so many others is difficult to explain. You do a beautiful job of explaining the nuances of fighting for a good and righteous life, while worrying that what you do may be meaningless. You're videos have helped me greatly. You have my thanks.

[@maxhilliard1]

Work in the same field as you. One of the things those calls taught me is there is no point in worrying about it. Something very comforting in that.

[@abraxaseyes87]

I'm not in the field but I think of the importance of my worry in relation to the moon or 100 years and relax. And believe conscious is what we make it

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@Shmethan]

​@@lazar9754do you know what overpopulation is? We don't need more people when there's massive refugee crises and the world is ending within the next 100 years anyways

[@user-ob9zo9cr4c]

respect, wish best

[@siichaq]

Never heard someone articulate how I feel about death so perfectly. It’s comforting just to know others worry about it the same way I do

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@guerimjj]

This hits home. I have always been obsessed with death/unaliving myself since I was only a little girl, I think I was only 13 or 14. I was scared I might actually do that, and end my life there. I had to get rid of things I could use to actually do it. The main reason being that I didn’t want people to think of me as a pathetic girl who couldn’t bear all this sufferings. So I sort of internalized it and whenever I get tired, I would wish for death of myself. I am now 23 and I had come to a conclusion, that is to live. Live and see. As much as I hate living, I will continue to live. I still don’t like life but I don’t hate it anymore, still though, I don’t wish to live long. I am still obsessed with death. But I will live with my depressive thoughts and continue to live this lonely life doing things I love, and watching arts like this video. I don’t know if I made sense but yeah this is my philosophy, my agony and I will take this with me till the end.

[@Dir_Grobbman]

Amen.

[@richard4short5]

You're a female and I've heard it said that females ARE nature. That's a fascinating fact. If I were female, I'd either spend my life investigating the natural sciences or be a mother - the most creative endeavour in the universe!

[@katraylor]

​@@richard4short5That’s an incredibly weird thing to say.

[@missnob0dy287]

realest thing ever

[@LTABITV]

​@@richard4short5nice 🙂 comment.. motivate her to not 🚫 Un. live herself, but to know that she has a Purpose ❤️ thanks dude

[@6FootFungus9]

I used to think about death constantly, almost 24/7. I was also pretty suicidal. I don’t know why or how, but one day I said to myself “Why do I ponder something so out of my control, why would I ponder things that are in my control?”. I realised that there is nothing to do, but to enjoy every single day. I have gotten to a weird state where I don’t really understand ‘being sad’ anymore. What do I gain from it? Why not just be happy? The past is the past and the future is the future. If I can’t change the past, why bother to whine about it, if I can change the future, why whine about it?

[@itolver]

i like this

[@carlosdelsol76]

You can change the future, not completely but you can

[@Narko_Marko]

I kinda went through the same phase, but the weird thig is, it happened when i was like 9 or 10. it lasted months, thinking about death a lot, probably as a new concept i never really thought about up until then. But when that phase passed I became incapable of being depressed like you explained. Even when there is nothing to look forward to and be happy about in my life for months, when im living on auto pilot, i dont feel depressed, i just feel bored and i look for little things to get excited about like drawing, sculpting or a video game or movie. Even when something big happens, like a month ago my friend had to move to another country after being here for a year and we were really close, i felt absolutely nothing as we were saying our goodbyes, while some other friends cried. I figured there is no reason to be sad that it's over, i should be happy that it happened.

[@maximuscolby799]

*** it is what it is ***

[@eddiee9147]

@@Narko_MarkoIn the words of Dr Seuss “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened”

[@wordytoed9887]

Your grandmother’s words are profound. Thank you for sharing.

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@roshanpk9101]

Your videos are probably the only ones on KZbin that I can watch completely without having to pause or do something else in between.

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@TheBestRoddy]

Is your attention span that garbage?

[@weaponizedmemes3461]

“If we die, why do we live?” I never thought to ask the question of death in that order.

[@semajaijones2873]

Glad to know I'm not the only one that feel hopeless while thinking about death and life after death, and how insignificant I am compared to the universe.

[@harrywatson2694]

its quite common for some people to think about death i dont care i dont want to die but it must happen so why should i cry about it?

[@DevonMiniFlicks]

There is no life after death in the same way there is no life before birth.

[@harrywatson2694]

you cant remember when you were 1 years old does that mean you were even there? without picture records and people how do you know?@@DevonMiniFlicks

[@thecolorgreen9022]

Those who fear death are fortunate and to be envied. For me, death will be the greatest joy. A release from all the evil people in this world, and all the selfishness and rancor associated with them.

[@janfrydrych3498]

I find a strange comfort in the insignificance. The universe is so vast the concept sort of twists on itself for me. My life is so small and fleeting that it becomes the most important and valuable thing in all space and time. I won't experience anything before, nor after. This time is the only time out of all time when I get to live.

[@LividImp]

For as much of a cesspool as KZbin can be, there are some great essayists on here. Subscription earned.

[@krisxaero]

Any other essayists you can recommend?

[@wordytoed9887]

The Canvas does great work, too, if you are into paintings@@krisxaero

[@sanketm1663]

@@krisxaeronerdwriter,Sisyphus55,Folding ideas,now you see it, Whats so great about…?.

[@agnorat]

Honestly surprised that this didn’t get taken down by KZbin know how bad this platform has become but yet there it is the beacon of light in the darkness I ain’t religious but bless this channel

[@iameternalsunshine]

exurb1a

[@meema844]

I’m 23, I’m only just starting to understand the importance of, well, everything. I spent a long time drowned in my emotions, and my actions taken to mask them. Almost died a few times. And I think because of that I sit in a weird limbo, as far as my fear of death goes. I’m not very afraid of dying, I’m afraid of death itself tho. The act of dying doesn’t scare me, especially if I’m dying for a good purpose in my mind. But whatever lies on the other side scares me, the recent entry into lucidity to reality forces me to want to stay, so as to REALLY experience life as it’s meant to be. But I’m ready should the time come, when I die, I’ll die afraid of what could’ve been, not what will be.

[@rottenlemons540]

I had serious problems when thinking about death. The feeling of being out of breath because of the certainty that I wouldn't be able to avoid it, the stress my brain self-generated as it tried to understand the fact of its final shutdown, etc. I would normally avoid the subject in conversations, thoughts and discussions and basically, I would never let my brain analize it thoroughly and actually try to understand it. Then, while on a trip to Asia (furthest from home I've ever been, and thus, the most uncommunicated I've ever been from my own world), I realized something that, to me, is the most beautiful way of portraying and understanding death: as our goal. Let me elaborate: Picture your life as a series of hikes. Maybe you're going through hell while climbing a mountain right now, but you know you'll love the views from up there. Maybe you'll be going through a desert for the next three months and you'll desperately want to leave. Maybe you're hiking alone. Maybe you're hiking with someone you love... whatever you're going through right now. At the end of your hikes, you'll rest peacefully, but it is your responsibility to appreciate your hikes so that when you finish them, you can look back and say "Man, what an adventure". Please note that nothing is beautiful by itself. It is the action of appreciating that something what makes it beautiful (the Mona Lisa can't be beautiful to you if you close your eyes because you're not appreciating it correctly). That being said, death (to me) is something to be celebrated if the person that died had the intelligence to appreciate its own hikes. The best part of it: we can all be educated in the art of appreciating what surrounds us, so we can all celebrate our own deaths and, while we're alive, be thrilled for the next adventure that awaits us, because we know that, having appreciated our path correctly (however it turned out), we'll be happy and proud of ourselves when we finish it. I don't know if this will help someone, but it certainly helped me, so thank you Horses for working on this video and helping me formalize my thoughts into text.

[@Cherry_picked00]

Nice perspective 💯

[@joshuagonzalez9693]

Thank you for sharing this, your perspective certainly gave me some clarity

[@juliabertham]

hello, I feel quite the same about death. ive accepted long ago that i will die and therefore am not scared of death. using hikes as a metaphor seems quite enlightening. i will use this ideology, before i also used to believe that things will pass, but im privileged enough to guarantee it somehow. Thank you!

[@wabbab]

Tolstoys confession is one of the most influential pieces of media I've ever read, and I've reached many of the same conclusions you have. Glad others find comfort in his work

[@benk4088]

I don't know whether you read every comment, but thank you so much for the profound video. I want to add, death is so hidden and taboo in society. Which makes it so refreshing to hear a conversation around it that is honest and vulnerable. The few times I have talked to people about it, about the terror associated with it, they knowingly nod their head, as if it is a truth and feeling they know well but don't ever hear expressed. In modern movies and media, how many main characters are 'invincible'? How many seemingly return from the dead, miraculously survive what would should have been an end to their life? It's as if we reject death completely. We live as if it isn't inevitable and lurking around every corner! I think when I am particularly cynical I believe in reality I am no more conscious than a rock, and that the only answer to death is that I was never truly alive to begin with, in the sense that we all feel. I am only a flux of atoms. But this doesn't help. In the musical Bugsy Malone there is a song with the line: "You give a little love and it all comes back to you // You know you're gonna be remembered for the things that you say and do" that's always stuck with me. And I also think back to Marcus Aurelius' conviction that men are born for the sake of each other. Ultimately I think the only way for me to die with courage is to die with a clear conscience. And doing what is good is a daily struggle, so it should keep me occupied for the rest of my existence.

[@HorsesOnYT]

I do read every comment - glad you found value in this video. This was an insightful comment; I would agree that ignoring death is probably the worst way to deal with it. Thanks for watching ❤️ -Michael

[@lucnotenboom8370]

Another of Marcus Aurelius' words on death helped me a great deal too: "All men die, but not all men die complaining". In his view, it is our duty to die as much as it is our duty to live. It is in our nature to stop being. My cessation will come, and it will be nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever. So as long as it still seems a little while away, I'll enjoy whatever there is to be enjoyed, and love whatever there is to be loved, or be otherwise content with the life I conduct; the curtains will draw at some point.

[@m4rtxn]

Good comment. I have recently realised that that I have many thoughts about death and think about it often and sometimes I am terrified by it. BUT this works like an outlet, letting the thought come and go whenever and not pushing it away leaves me in peace after and between the times I think about it. Is this common for you too? @bebk4088 @HorsesOnYt

[@benk4088]

⁠@@m4rtxnI like that a lot, letting the fear come and go. It’s a nice way of accepting the feeling without dreading it. When Krishna reveals his divine form to Arjuna, he is also terrified. He sees the universe without limit, no beginning, no middle, no end, and is utterly bewildered. I think there is a similarity in when we face oblivion, and only try to begin to comprehend it- it is natural to be afraid. Incidentally, when Arjuna asks what he must do, the answer is his duty.

[@marieemma2826]

Joan Didion had an interesting view on the taboo-ness of death. She says that before the reality of death was more common; some of your children necessarily die and you at a much younger age. Most importantly she says death wasn't tucked away in an isolated hospital room, but happened right there in your living room. Confrontation with this reality, she says, allowed for it to be a lot less taboo since everyone faced more death and also death amidst life and not separately in a place made for it.

[@MrFaceSpace117]

Your segment about your grandmother nearly moved me to tears. I had to stop myself at work. This has been like therapy for me. This and your Marcus Aurelius video really touched me in a profound way.

[@clo1187]

The last thing my grandfather said to me was a joke..he was trying to make me laugh so I wouldn't be sad..😢

[@BastienGr999]

I'm a French listener and I listen to your videos to improve my English and become a better person. I learn a lot from each video, and I thank you for that!

[@benk4088]

Wow. This video comes at a time when a death-fear is for whatever reason returning, regularly. At each occasion, my heart sinks right down into my gut and I feel terror and hopeless despair. An urge to hug somebody overwhelms me. A sheer naked panic that I must cling onto life with all I have, and the morbid knowledge that it is futile. It reduces me to an absolute coward. And then I stop thinking about it. That has been my only solution and I am yet to figure out another. I'm leaving this comment a minute in to the video, just to see if my feelings change after watching this!

[@yvettevitacaponigro]

Hug’s sent to you, please know you are Loved! 🧸

[@leesaunders1930]

you could be suffering from health anxiety. I suffer from it too, it was debilitating about 3 years ago I kept thinking I was gonna die of a heart attack or had heart disease or was gonna have a stroke etc etc and I'd get sudden feelings of dread wash over me and it would make me.pace up and down.

[@benk4088]

@@leesaunders1930 thanks, that’s interesting I haven’t heard if it before. I don’t think i suffer from it though, I don’t fear that I might die from any specific cause, more just the knowledge that i will die and the existential crisis that arises from that

[@cloudboy08]

i feel the exact same way i had many panic attacks about it

[@cloudboy08]

@@sonnenshiro6045 have you found anything that has helped you so far?

[@Becks1986]

Not sure why but the line "All people die, just some take longer" really hit me, as well as the rest of this video. I've been on this platform for 17 years but you're rapidly becoming one of my favourite channels I've watched, so please keep it up, I need these types of videos in my life

[@kylewyatt2681]

another perspective to that quote is “all men die, but not all men die complaining”

[@bukasajonathan8828]

As a religious person, I want to say that I enjoyed this video and it made me realise how much religion has given meaning and purpose to a lot of people. I think the gest of religion is the idea of reward after death. It has given people a lot of stretght in the past and it still does today. great video

[@redclayscholar620]

It helps put people at ease to believe that all bad will be punished and all good will be rewarded as well as the possibility of seeing lost loved ones and famous historical figures.

[@mario8833]

Can I ask what religion do you believe in?

[@toasty2324]

Man, your channel as an absolute hidden gem, so glad I found it. The consistency of quality in your videos is incredible. Also, The words of your grand mother where profound, thank you for sharing such a personal moment. Everyone struggles with these ingulfing thoughts and hearing someone relate makes us feel less alone, bringing us closer together in this clusterfuck of an existence.

[@lazar9754]

Lets say the meaning of life is doing the best you can. We are body, mind and soul. The most important biological function is reproduction. With intelligence comes moral burden to help others. If you believe in it or not, the best thing to do for our soul is to praise God and do his will. So i think the meaning of life is to make children and raise them to be good humans, help others with doing what you love, to praise God and enjoy while that. What do you think about that?

[@tobybatram3510]

As someone who thought that they were the only one to think almost all the time about death and have people telling me to just forget it, I’m so grateful for this video. You’ve perfectly encapsulated what I’ve felt throughout my life. I like you have reached the conclusion that at 21 all I can do is live. Thanks for an amazing video!!!

[@JustMe-vn5pq]

I'm a lot older, so I can say that a life well lived is the best answer to these kinds of questions. When I was 21, I searched for "the meaning of life." Now I no longer have time for philosophical questions that don't matter to me personally. So now I only try to discern the meaning of life FOR ME. For Bach, the meaning of his life would be to make beautiful music. MLKing, Jr. found the meaning of life for him, but that threatened the powers that be enough to have him killed. People like Bach and King have found meaning for themselves by fulfilling their own destinies, and by so doing, they're much better able to accept the inevitability of their deaths with grace and acceptance.

[@CESTLAFDTJEUNEPD]

^ This is the thing right there it don't go further than that best believe it holy tits phenomenal

[@T_D_B_]

You are not strange. This is one thing that separates us from animals.

[@eddiee9147]

At 19, I’ve come to the same conclusion you have

[@papahairy5315]

​@@T_D_B_obsessing over it is strange. It is inevitable so why fear it? I cannot understand that

[@MrMannyfresh78]

My only real fear (as I’m sure is the case with many). I normally would skip a video on death because it triggers anxiety. However I clicked this video without hesitation because I knew that this channel would provide an unmatched examination that would leave me better off than I was.

[@Teddyknockou]

Uhhh there was nothing about horses in this video.

[@nguyenhaid867]

oh dead

[@hollyhuntington2913]

The four horsemen, one of which is death.

[@FlappyOW]

This was probably my favourite video that you've put out. Fully agree with the concluding points. Hearing about your grandmother reminded me of mine as well. Similar situation, 3 kids and a single mum, my nan had to look after us after school while mum worked, she taught me how to cook among other things, we were very close. She passed away in Jan 2015 after battling with COPD in the hospital for 3 days, with us being by her side. Your grandmother would be proud of how far you have come, and by how many people you inspire and give hope or comfort to daily. Thank you for the really insightful video

[@daddydastardly376]

My grandpa just had his third stroke at a rehabilitation facility that was supposed to help after the second. I sense the end is near. Me and my Grandpa have grown apart mostly because I have heard of the wrongs he committed before I was born. I still mourn. This video couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you.

[@docappy]

You should be truly proud of the actions you make on this channel. It feels that you find happiness through this. I’m happy for you.

[@MatthewAvenue]

This was absolutely beautiful. One of the best videos on the platform. Thank you for making this!

[@mythperson9999]

Sometimes KZbin randomly thought a creator like you my way and it always ends the same way, with me watching every video you have to offer. Thank you for everything you have created and I cannot wait for more content truly

[@dionysus6027]

you’re making some of the most intellectually stimulating content i have ever consumed on youtube. it’s not content, it’s art.

[@angel_dot_data]

Was feeling very isolated and worried about being close to the threshold of giving up entirely. This video helped me rethink that, thank you.

[@WobblesandBean]

Hey. I've been there. I know it's hard to see it, but things can and will get better. It sounds silly, but there have been times where the only thing keeping me on this earth was my pet houseducks. Now, unexpectedly, my life is doing so much better. Life is hard, but I sincerely hope you find happiness, too. Your life has meaning.

[@mezmarionybarra]

🥰🫂🥰🫂🥰🫂🥰

[@Riskofdisconnect]

As someone who had been on the verge of it for a long time, the most actionable advice I can give you is, if possible, make a real big change in your day to day life. What helped me the most was moving to a new city, getting a new job, and spending more of my time volunteering. I know that's not possible for a lot of people, both for reasons of finance and fatigue, but if you can I highly recommend it. The rut felt inescapable to me for a long, long time, but changing my circumstances, and feeling actually useful are big.

[@hermanirishman4525]

I'm truly thankful for having come across your channel. The beautifully articulated thoughts and profound wisdom act as a kind of tonic even when the subject matter is as dark as death. You deserve a much wider audience which I am confident in time you will have.

[@m3cht1tan53]

This is the best video I have watched. I recently have been binging all of the content on this channel. You have a mind that reminds me of my own, and it seems to me that maybe one of the best ways to cope with death, is not to understand it but to fight it. You are here beyond immense odds on a scale so cosmically large that it’s incomprehensible. Death will come, but you must fight it as long as there is still breath in your body. Even when life contains suffering, by whatever odds that be, you are ALIVE. Rejoice, rejoice for life and rejoice for death. Just the fact that I’m ABLE to be terrified of what happens after I die is a splendor in itself and should be cherished as with every other moment.

[@montananerd8244]

My neurodivergent family often overintellecualizes things but in the case of death, I'm glad we've talked so much about it, in any way. It makes it easier to talk now that my folks are in the process. We really focus on legacy and both of theirs is minor but solid, and protected. My dad's artistic mind lives on in his students, his art has been collected by a museum (via a huge donation, one has to be truly famous to have a museum in our area pay for pieces), my mom has done museum oral history interviews (she was a disability rights activist), & we are secure in our tiny, insignificance that is also lives of tremendous impact. Even if no one ever recognizes me specifically, I was an activist and continue to do community work. It's not as altruistic as it seems to volunteer and get involved, it's a beautiful piece of security that one's life was of value to the community. It feels really good, even when everything else in my life is going wrong...

[@carlosdelsol76]

You sound like a lib

[@KB8Killa]

God

[@dalcon555]

Like it was prophesized this video drops right when i am experiencing an intense death anxiety that wakes me up in the middle of the night in panic, thank you for making this.

[@travisgaye8003]

This is such a remarkable channel. Thank you for sharing what many of us can’t.

[@lutetium2367]

it absolutely amazes me how you can produce some of the best content on the entirety of the platform at such a regular pace.

[@dec________________]

Thank you very much for your amazing videos. I'm 21, a senior in college on the brink of true adulthood. For many it may feel like the beginning of an exciting journey but for me it feels like I'm standing at the open door of a plane flying at a height which is unknown to me, about to jump. With this I have recently done a lot of reflection, thinking, and have come across much of the same sentiments which you and Tolstoy have pondered, and your videos have been a wonderful complement to this new aspect of my life and could not have come at a better time. I look forward to further exploring various wonders of human thought and creation through your videos!

[@moshdragon]

As someone that graduated college (somehow 5 years ago) but feels like yesterday trust me you're going to enjoy the change, but you will have to adjust to having SO MUCH FREE TIME! Try finding social hobbies and enjoying life it'll be very important for your next few years

[@dec________________]

@@moshdragon thank you for the advice!

[@jackatomizer196]

I absolutely love your content! This has, without a doubt, quickly grown to be one of my favourite KZbin channels! Please continue this greatness ❤❤❤

[@mathiuseden9605]

Horse seriously amazing work! You know exactly what clips to use to draw us in- your voice is both something i can pay attention to and sleep to its blissful! Honestly your gonna get millions if not hundreds of millions of views as time goes on

[@ballisticcranberrypeat7777]

Thanks for making this stuff man. You’re helping a lot of people.

[@jacksondowden6846]

Just want to say I love this channel. No matter what the subject is I find myself completely engrossed in every video. Thanks for making such awesome, informative, and easily digestible videos. Keep up the great work!

[@angelicovers]

I also lost my grandmother at 92, and I understand how you've expressed your feelings about yours passing away. I think it's a testament to her wise council that, "life is long"--when you are constantly making such thoughtful and inquisitive videos, reaching so many people by sharing the knowledge you condense for us in this art form. Life is long, but also so beautiful when we can see it as such. You're awesome, mr horses. Much love

[@Supercohboy]

20:02 Your grandmother was an incredibly wise woman, and I must thank you and her for the insight this has given me. Thank you for making this video and memorializing her last words, they've given me some peace of mind that I've been looking for, for a very long time. People like to say that life is short so that people don't waste theirs. Life is short when compared to the expanse of existence and time, but truthfully our experience of life is going to be much, much longer than our experience of dying/death will be. I surprisingly find comfort in this. The greatest monster of all time will terrorize my soul but once, even if I dread that day's arrival in the meantime. I can dread it a bit less now at least.

[@clintnorthwood94]

Man, you literally are one of the best out there. Thank you so much. I beg you, never stop making these videos.

[@PhantasmASMR]

Goosebumps just about the whole way through, this video is especially excellent work of yours

[@tirtheshjadhav1898]

Yeah, it was phenomenal

[@dont-call-me-et-al]

I love to see how much your audience has grown lately. I remember first stumbling on your videos and being baffled at how you hadn't blown up yet... looks like you're blowing up now! Seriously man - congratulations, you deserve infinite praise for the insanely high quality of every single video you put out. Calling them merely videos feels wrong - because they're all philosophical masterpieces! I hope you know how meaningful of an impact you leave on your audience - your channel has provided me with so much knowledge and peace. I found your Marcus Aurelius one to be so profoundly ... comforting towards my existential dread, but this one is just ... chef's kiss! Thank you so much for feeding us all

[@incredabbles]

I had a conversation about death with my mother yesterday, and this video pops on my feed today. She said she has become less concerned with dying as she's gotten older, as she's experienced it more with friends and family passing. I hope that I gain that clarity as I age. This was a beautiful video.

[@stanfez]

I am profoundly calmed by the fact that this specific video exists. I feel atleast a great sense of sonder. I search youtube often when I’m suddenly overwhelmed by fears of death more so the fear of the end of life. I never quite find the content I’m looking for. Thank you for this video. I hope you can find solace in life’s passage. Recently I have found the most rewarding and life affirming thing is making your love known to your loved ones. The connection makes me feel alive and softens those anxious nights. I feel safe in the knowledge that we persist through this together that no matter what the meaning of life nor the truth of our reality is. It is shared by fellow beings and we can choose to wallow in our on suffering or reach out and share the comfort of our fellow beings.

[@gerardozg9700]

A ponderous video indeed. The section of your relationship to your grandma really resonated with me. I too was raised by her and I too lost connection by virtue of distance. We were reunited after 15 long years, but by then her mind had left her body. No one was home. I reflect on this a lot and beat myself up for letting our connection slip between my fingers. I recently found some old pictures of her during the time I was not around, and was relieved to see her happy and sharing great moments with her other grandchildren. The thought of being replaced in her heart provides me with some comfort, even if not true.

[@ottoleonardo4243]

You are a blessing for today’s KZbin landscape. I love the topics you discuss and how they make me question many aspects of my young life. I appreciate your work and would love to see you keep going! ❤

[@jasonwhite2028]

This is serenely beautiful. Thank you for introducing me to tolstoy, to put so much thought into death, life, and its meaning to the point that being unable to answer these questions sufficiently for himself he no longer even desired life itself. I feel if only he could have spoke to the right person who had a different thing to say he may have had a different conclusion, perhaps someone inspired by his very works on these thoughts, i think tolstoy didnt know that he wished he had been able to speak to you. Thank you for reminding me how precious these moments truly are.

[@Zoe-rb9kq]

This was absolutely beautiful. I think of death, life, purpose, philosophy, religion near daily and just knowing there is at least one person alive out there contemplating these topics as well makes me feel so connected to. I appreciate and see you.

[@scottfree6479]

You’re not alone. I’m 5 minutes into this video and I have shared your viewpoint the entire time. That actually offers some comfort to me. Not enough, but some. I do pray even though I’m not religious. My prayer is simple: Please God, exist. That is all I wish; for the existence of God

[@thelordofnuggets629]

We should be religious, not because we know it to be undoubtly true but rather than we must believe in good. We must believe the world will get better not because it will but because it is the only sensible belief when death is evercoming.

[@jaxxgotit643]

Im w/ you scott! We must hope so! ❤

[@mebW]

This channel and the art you produce on it has quickly become some of my all time favourite, I hope you realise how beautiful your art is.

[@martinaa-ev2zn]

do u know any other channels similar to this one

[@mebW]

@@martinaa-ev2zn Exurb1a, Sisyphus55, Savannah Brown, and Duncan Clarke are some, all in their own styles and about different subjects of course

[@martinaa-ev2zn]

@@mebW meb, thanks for the reply which ones ur favorite and do u know some that talk about the absurdity of life and absurdism overall, but not just the idea of absurdism and the theoretic side of it but more from a subjective point of view

[@mebW]

@@martinaa-ev2zn In that case I'd start with some of Exurb1a's videos. He has one about Absurdism uploaded 9 months ago, but many of his videos tackle the subject here and there, other than that his writing is amazing!

[@martinaa-ev2zn]

@@mebW ok, thank u very muchh

[@edgarramirez3137]

This video is insanely good. Just started getting your videos recommended and they are all really really good.

[@JuliaHope1]

This is truly one of my favorite things I’ve listened to. I’m not sure how something can be as universal as death and yet it feels like we’re all the only one who grapples with these worries, thoughts, and dread. Next time I wake up at 2am and my brain immediately starts ruminating about it all, I’ll feel a little less alone ❤️

[@Chadohfax]

I enjoy your videos, so when I saw your new upload, I watched it. This one is thought provoking. I often thought about this topic, and came to same conclusions. It gave me strength to push through often in my life. "Worst thing that can happen is that I die. Conclusion is same even when I fail at this, so why not try my best so I at least don't have regrets in my deathbed?" Thank you for the amazing video.

[@ucud_murphdog5452]

An absolute masterpiece in writing and a great thought piece. Keep it up you’re doing great!

[@juhibairwa1396]

Fatefully discovered this channel today after a sleepless night. Feels like home. This video is nowhere less than a Tarkovsky film..Eternally subscribed!

[@poisonjackle5964]

It's reassuring in a way to see someone articulate these thoughts and processes it took me years to work through, and to do so in a such a simple yet eloquent way. To find someone else who understands these supposedly common thoughts that so many view with such distain. Thank you for once more opening my eyes to are broader human condition, and giving me some hope as to see someone else struggle and yet grow as I hope I might have.

[@ICE-yu5ps]

It’s the death of my wife or kids that scares me the most. I would die willingly for all of them. To be alive without them would be an unbearable emotional pain. I’ll take non existence every time.

[@dianasfabulouschannel9825]

Exactly well said

[@lrgui9792]

Thank you! It's always comforting to see someone acknowledging their fear of death. I'm always asking people about death, and it's crazy how easily they are usually able to dismiss and disrespect this fact. I have many thoughts about the subject of death and meaning of life, I want to pick some of them as a summary to share here: It doesn't even make sense for a human life to have a human meaning, given the process that built us and given what we materially are. If we try to force an answer, then no, the human life has no meaning. But we are meaning builders, we can't help it, so instead of looking for meaning, we should put effort on our crafting skills, and claim purpose as our artifact. The very tools by which we perceive existence and act upon it, our bodies and minds, are made in a particular way so as to exist as stories and games. We, our "selves", are stories we tell. The brain tells. The situations we participate are always games, and games within games. We are tricked into thinking there is an actual "me" or an actual "meaning" because we are already born into the games and stories. As we move away from the personal illusions of existence, we start to understand that there is no person inside ourselves. Then, living a pleasant and meaningful life is being able to build one, while not desperately trying not to suffer with the illusion of the ghost in the machine. Suffering will happen, tragedy will happen, we should fight against it, but we should also accept it as it comes. There is no other way. I, for example, see a lot of purpose in community, in love, in colors and games, but I know it's because I choose to see and enjoy it, my body chooses. The stories and games making my mind will flow towards these things, and I see my job as paving and embellishing the way. Being alive and dying are also personal things, they happen to a person, to a particular consciousness. But, since there is no person in nature, they only happen inside our local perspectives. No experiential death is happening from the outside. What is the death of a wave to the sea? My subjective belief about this is that, as impossible as it is for us humans to imagine, each human consciousness can't belong to itself. We are all the same thing, somehow atomized in particular bodies. Therefore, we never actually die. If we experience existence now, this experience is not ultimately local, it will keep happening somehow, as it already happens in parallel, between different people. I am not you, but the thing that is being me is also being you, and that thing isn't going anywhere. Ha, from a material perspective, a body is actually a whole community of synergistic beings, and the cohesive "human being" exists only in a very particular spatial scale happening in a continuum of a much larger dynamical process, without actual boundaries. All boundaries are defined within games, by us, the stories we tell ourselves. Now, coming back to fear. Still, I fear death and tragedy everyday. This is huge in my story. I happen to really like the game of craving life. But this whole idea, for me, is much more terrifying than death. An unfathomable eternity as a solitary universal dance generating purpose inside itself while conjuring finite perspectives, humans included. An eternal sea casting itself into multiple waves, again and again and again. Experiencing joy, yes, but paying in horror. THAT is my nightmare fuel.

[@jerrysonrai0106]

Dear Horses, I am so happy I stumbled upon your channel. Just simply amazing information and stories. Thank you and can’t wait for more/and the future posts!

[@S1L3NTIGamer]

I don’t have general anxiety or depression but I also find the idea of death paralyzing and often times when I’m alone in my thoughts my mind wanders on the subject of death and I find myself literally screaming in fear and panic. I initially wanted to stop watching the video purely out of fear that it might cause me, sitting alone in my car with no one to talk to and alone to my thoughts, to panic and scream. But after forcing myself to watch I instead found myself tearing up at your grandmothers words and I finally felt as though I am not alone in this crippling fear. I’m still afraid. But no longer alone. So thank you.

[@PPSH-Riley]

Found this channel on a fluke and im happier I did with every new upload. Thank you for sharing, i deeply agree with many of your points made, especially the strength of religious people that i cannot understand, the strength of their faith.

[@DrTako]

While I hope many other people might chime in to your comment, I felt compelled to share a simple response as to 'why/how' that strength of faith is possible at all in the face of death. In Christianity, the strength and faith that is seen is only possible because it is God's/Christ's/the Holy Spirit's (the Trinity's). That is why it is so hard to understand for those that do not believe in God's providing strength, because His work and strength is what overcame death, not our own. This is where the idea of 'salvation' comes from. Salvation, meaning Jesus Christ's atoning death on our behalf to the sins we have commented and separated us from a relationship of God, now restored through faith in Jesus Christ alone. Without losing the point of strength, here is the core: The Bible places an emphasis on God’s strength in our salvation. Man can in no way save himself. Only God can save. Paul makes this clear in Ephesians: “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9). These verses are a powerful summary of the dynamics of salvation found in the Bible. That is not our works that save us, but Jesus Christ's. All we have to do is believe in Him and what He did for the world in the Cross (Ephesians 2). And finally, the source: Our strength is found in Christ. In our having a vibrant, dynamic relationship with Him/God. It is Christ who empowers us to do whatever is necessary to accomplish God’s will: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). There is no other source that gives man the strength to 'overcome' (not just fail through) the world with its trials and temptations. Christ is the core and source of where (for Christians) find their strength and faith in the face of death. Because Christ is the one who overcame and destroyed death on the cross. I know this video was positioned against the religious view, and its answers to the problem of death. But I hope this helps, even slightly, to your honest query in "i cannot understand, the strength of their faith". God bless and I will pray for you this evening in your seeking! (sorry for the edit, I wanted to space things out for cleaner reading)

[@Matthew-pw5iz]

Been enjoying the text of your videos quite a bit. Also, I appreciate the editing. It all just seems to work together quite organically

[@Jackspiring]

I suffer with the same never ending affliction, i’ve thought about my death and death in general since i was 11 years old, i have what someone else described as “mini- panic attacks” about it, less frequently than i used to but definitely monthly. The fact that you even made this video or this channel at all is a testament to how much stronger you are in the face of this all-encompassing thing. I am trying to live, better late than never i suppose

[@TheTrillaTron]

These are some of the best video essays on KZbin. Keep it up!

[@RiskyPizza]

I don't know what to say other than thank you for your content. This video may be the single most important thing for me this season of my life. You do a lot and I really appreciate you.

[@cobravonkleist7136]

Absolutely incredible and moving. I was not prepared to have this existential weight dropped on me, but now I am glad for it

[@Pitstop_]

i discovered your channel a few weeks ago and i don't think i have ever become hooked to a channel faster, the content and presentation of the videos speak to me in a way few others do. you speak of ideas scattered in my conscience i never even knew were there before they were presented to me. Your style of content hits a niche i think many others have failed in, rather by letting their ego or opinions get in the way. but you do not force an idea onto someone or shame those who against your viewpoint, but instead simply present the idea and leave the viewer to consider it. i know this comment may get buried with the others saying the same thing but i thought it would be best for me to say thank you and that your effort does not go unnoticed

[@bsl17]

God I am so glad I found your channel. Everything you touch is filled with such care and vulnerability. Much love, horses

[@sunhillsband]

This was indescribably horrifying and beautiful, and shocked my entire system. Thank you for what you do

[@simonockas]

Your videos are the rare kind you simply cannot call "content" because it's so much more than that. Your work inspires me and I'd definitely tip more if I had more money.

[@HorsesOnYT]

Ty ❤️❤️

[@nannyalberte]

This spoke to me in a very intimate level. Thank you for another excellent essay. I'm sorry for your lost, I hope you can acomplish your goals

[@Peewee50]

You can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink, I'm just glad I found the horse. Thanks for always picking topics many of us find relevant this day, ill never get over your beautiful writing and delivery. Its clear many of us feel the same.

[@Loanwolf387]

I really enjoyed the words of wisdom at the end. “Life is long,” is so true. I think people stuck in a state of hopeless depression forget that things can get better, with time, patience and effort to turn things around. I would recommend the book “the Happiness trap,” by Russ Harris (or KZbin videos by the author) to anyone who is struggling with hopelessness and thoughts of, “what’s the point.” The advice there in was helpful, and putting said advice into practice was worth it. Essentially, the book tells you (or at least my interpretation) that life is not meant to be easy, and no one is meant to be happy all the time. All we can do is find out what are the things/activities/people that bring us the most joy, and start making an effort to do more of that (obviously excluding activities that bring temporary joy and long term strife, such as addiction). Even when times are most difficult, you make effort to include those most joyful activities in your life. If you enjoy helping others, volunteer, if you like to travel, but can’t afford to right now, take a day trip to somewhere in your back yard that you can enjoy…I could prob go on but I suggest reading more from the author if you are interested :)

[@conspiracybrew]

This heartfelt reflection on the nature of life and death is profoundly moving. The narrative, interwoven with Leo Tolstoy's insights, beautifully illustrates the complex emotions surrounding mortality. It reminds us that while we may never find definitive answers about death, the journey of living, cherishing moments, and seeking fulfillment is where we can find meaning. This document is a poignant exploration of the human condition. 🌟💭💖

[@allthingslela]

Right before you posted this, I was doom thinking about death for a day! Then I found this on my recommended. this helped my anxiety sm, thank u for your amazing videos

[@Lolz43083]

I cannot express how much I love your videos thank you for filling me with philosophy and stories I didn’t even know I needed in my life, and I can truly say I’m better for watching your videos :)

[@TharinduHasthika]

I started along this path when I was 22, 5 years have gone and learned a lot, but I still feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface of what life is for me. This is one of the best video essays I’ve seen so far. As always won’t expect nothing less than this brother!

[@matejkonetzny7397]

Im glad you have 450k subscribers, you deserve it

[@FreeWaves9]

Your grandma was incredibly wise. Thank you for sharing. I found myself in this video, and it helped me a lot.

[@mandoceps1026]

This took my breath away and made me emotional for a multitude of reasons that are so mixed up I cant even express fully. One big one is a feeling that im running out of time to gain the ability to help others deal with this harsh existence mentally and financially. Yet were all headed to the same place eventually and that what I have worked for all just meaningless? Will people even remember? Am I living selfishly wanting people to remember? Or is that a fair thought to have because the thought of it could help someone through challenging times? So many questions, I love how thought provoking this video is and how it reminded me that I live in a society that does not speak on it in normal day to day conversation. That we use the word “pass” instead of “died” when speaking on someones death so if not to remind ourselves too much what will happen to us sooner or later. Subscribed.

[@andydragtstra4707]

Very interesting perspective on the subject, since I do not have intrusive thoughts about this ever. I never actually felt that strongly about death, but I probably came into contact with it too much at an early age. I see this life as a storm passing by, and I actually don't have a problem with that. There are many around me who don't feel the same way about this, and I don't really know what to say to them. Where some people see a wonder of the universe that is too short, I see myself as a wonderful particle that gets to float around in this wicket universe. I do not want to die. I don't know what I would do if a doctor said I had X amount of time left, but I don't fear death, at least not actively.

[@GamingLiveToday]

x amount of time leftt? The answer's opium, like genuinely. As as an "former addict" I found the stories and my own of many addicts to be useful; death is peace, its a calm presence truly happy to welcome, despite what your Life may look like.

[@andydragtstra4707]

@@GamingLiveToday Half a year ago I would have said; cheers buddy. Yeah, you are on to something here...

[@GamingLiveToday]

@@andydragtstra4707 I’m fully sober for a while now and I still stand by what I said 100%

[@chadjameshapshe4798]

I'm 45 years old, consider myself a proud working class academic and I am a history teacher at a Catholic school in New England. I've experienced a lot, I've studied and open myself up to many ideas and philosophies, and yet I am consistently blown away by the ponderings I happen to come across on this channel almost daily. I got to say, you are one smart f****** kid man, please do not stop uploading these precious tidbits of philosophical prowess. EVER!

[@Bozo_Lord]

i started listening to philosophy essays from people like eternalised and came across Horses. absolutely amazing and enveloping content. amazing work dude, seriously. amazing. keep making this great content !!! love from texas

[@gock_enjoyer]

I’ve been dealing with death and thoughts of my own mortality since 2020 lately it has grown to a point where I have to turn off some of your videos because you speak of death and it reminds me that there is no escape from mine. This video helped remind me that I am not alone in my feelings and I am not alone in my search for answers.

[@DangeistYT]

O , HE UPLOADED.

[@hybridhazza]

Your channel is absolute quality and become one of my favourites

[@BehindtheCurtain]

You deserve all of the attention you're getting right now. I'm glad to have found you in this last month or two. Simply amazing work!

[@absolutetrash4278]

I love sitting and thinking about things like this, as depressing and mortifying as they are, they are incredibly interesting. Can you put the quotes on screen when you read them?

[@galante6545]

Subtitles?

[@quantensprung9520]

I know the channel since 5k, and i love that you have grown ❤

[@johnlong1499]

The stellar quality of ALL this channel's videos is something that needs to be noted; the talent and the skill required to achieve such consistency are massive and sincerely worthy of praise. Any research done for a video is clearly exhaustive and undertaken with great care; the subject tackled in any given video is approached with erudition sans the inflated ego that usually accompanies the work of 'specialists' and academicians; the script is always crisply written, with perfect pacing + an elegant manner of allowing ideas to logically & organically flow, each into the next, with humor appropriately peppered throughout; and the images are always carefully curated and sequenced with serious style, reinforcing the narration and the ideas contained therein. An absolutely essential voice in the digital wilderness. Sui generis + worthy of whatever time you can devote. Cheers!

[@monagorgan7288]

this is like reading my mind i swear :)). As someone who tried to take their own life, I can concur with what Tolstoi stated...Just live. Nothing matters anyway unless you make it matter to you. Death won't matter, hons. Take care