Obeying The Husband? - Shaykh Hamza Yusuf | Part 4

[@AliA-nz1zc]

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: She is obliged to serve her husband according to what is reasonable among people of similar standing. That varies according to circumstances: the way in which a Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fatawa al-Kubra, 4/561)

[@Boubou2604]

very important

[@Zee_Sylvie]

Subhan Allah ! Islam gives so much rights to women.....I wish we cud study and understand and implement it properly in our lives! Insha Allah

[@toobad9295]

never have I seen a scholar say “be each other’s support, help each other out on things one knows better about than the other, be a team, two brains is better than one” it’s always about who’s the boss who’s not like what is wrong with you people get over yourselves so power hungry

[@amalayni9478]

@too Bad yaaaas sister!!!!

[@toobad9295]

@@amalayni9478 right? Allah (swt) has made us in pairs for a reason like I think people have some kind of power complex honestly

[@studentemounirines8664]

In fact the Qur'an says that, the obedience of the husband is only a misinterpretation of a verse.

[@studentemounirines8664]

It was a way to limit men and they took it as superiority or right.

[@toobad9295]

@@studentemounirines8664 yes I know, it's obedience to Allah (swt) which only make sense as Allah (swt) is the only one to be obeyed except for your parents of course

[@abuubakarsidoow5607]

Islam is way of LIFE

[@xadam1964]

Really 🤔

[@xadam1964]

@أنور luminous you are wrong.

[@xadam1964]

Explain what makes Islam the way of life, the sharia law?

[@AliA-nz1zc]

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen said: the custom of the Muslims has always been that the wife should serve her husband in the customary manner, by preparing food, washing his clothes and vessels, cleaning the house, etc., according to what is appropriate. This was the custom at the time of the Prophet and has remained so until the present day, and no one has objected to it. But the wife should not be burdened in a manner that causes her hardship or difficulty, rather it should be in accordance with her ability and what is customary. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

[@TheLazyGuyWay]

well said!

[@niraanwar9787]

Didn't you read from the life of Hazrat Muhammad (SM) peace be upon him, that he used to help wives in household chores?

[@inkofknowledge]

As Salam Alaikum, next part in the marriage series will be uploaded tomorrow! Make sure to Like and Subscribe!

[@EB-gt1pq]

Love hamza so much! Yes, husbands need to listen to their wives as well! You can’t just boss women around for everything you want.

[@AliA-nz1zc]

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.” [al-Nisa 4:34] ‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view of Muqatil, al-Suddi and al-Dahhak. (Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 1/492)

[@thetruth27786]

No Allah did not say in charge of women he said responsible for women in maintenance....and the righteous wife obeys her husband TO WHAT ALLAH HAS ASKED HER TO GUARD,not what anything the husband just says and this verse is meaning to keeping her chastity not any obedience,hence you cant strike your wife for any obedience you say its specific for disloyalty....and btw strike doesnt mean hit here it means to strike out like in baseball to go home,to send her home....... Hence in (4:128) Allah says if you fear disobedience from your husband then you can seek a divorce ....if you saying the verse blindly means to obey your husband then the same word is in (4:128) which will also then mean obey your husband but its for specific disobedience only.Its not feminist you are not accepting of Allahs law and a misogynist

[@AliA-nz1zc]

@@thetruth27786 Ibn Abbas, Ali ibn Abi Talib, Muqatil, al-Suddi and al-Dahhak and Ibn Kathir > your opinion. And before you cry and say I did not address your points I will in shaa Allah. But do not be arrogant and insincere. You commit the fallacy of applying english terminology on Arabic. I am not sure if you are aware but Arabic is a very literal language meaning that its rare to find metaphors & symbolism. And with regards to the Quran if you open the door to non scholarly interpretation then you will have all sorts of distortion. And I do not care about feminism. I just look at what Allah and His Messenger ﷺ and if its not 100% clear then I see what the Salaf and great scholars have said about it. Also Ibn Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ put his hand on my shoulder and he said, “O Allah, give him understanding in religion and teach him the interpretation of the Quran.” Source: Musnad Aḥmad 2874 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Ahmad Shakir. interpretation

[@AliA-nz1zc]

@@thetruth27786 So who would be correct, a man that Muhammed ﷺ supplicated directly for to know how to interpret the Quran or you? And I will not assume anything about you but you are definitely misguided and need to stop spreading this misguidance. May Allah guide and help us all.

[@TheMrpalid]

@@thetruth27786 She is to obey him. Get your head out of the feminism cloud.

[@nazeefalabiba7747]

I 💖Islam, Allah and prophet Muhammad (SM). Each time I face a confusion or question , I get an answer. Alhamdulillah

[@frengsapien2722]

Like wife can refuse to cook for husband , husband can also refuse to buy his wife more than two clothes and feed her the basic food that can help her survive Allah has only put resposbility of basic needs and not luxuries on the husband towards wife ....that is why if we only talk about rights things will get ugly so everyone should be encouraged to live life at the level of ihsan doing for other more than their rights only then life can be beautiful and peaceful rather than just talking about rights.

[@CathyKitson]

Women shouldn't be reliant on you. She's able to buy her own clothes and food.

[@qamar1041]

@@CathyKitson No. In Islam the woman has a right that he has to provide for her. It’s a must. In a Hadith I will loosely say is that the Prophet Pbuh said: “The woman has these rights over her husband, whenever he has food, he must feed her, whenever he has clothes he must clothe her, (he must provide) and he must not hit her in the face” And that the best men are the ones who are best to their women. Allah knows best.

[@CathyKitson]

@@qamar1041 But women don't need providing for. They're perfectly able to provide for themselves.

[@qamar1041]

raphael44ify That is Islamic law, if you don’t like it then leave us. Men have duties and women have duties that God has given us. If a man refuses to provide for his wife he has disobeyed God.

[@CathyKitson]

@@qamar1041 But justice is justice. What if a man is unemployed and his wife works?

[@rayanaray8281]

Да, жены всегда должны слушаться своих мужей. Это их право перед женами. Если каждый будет давать права друг перед другом, можно избежать многих семейных проблем. Пусть Всевышний поможет нам соблюдать права каждому члену общества, особенно перед мужьями и родителями. Аминь.

[@Samantha_22]

Obedience is abuse

[@greyarea5164]

lets reverse the role: and he has the right to refuse to pay for her guests food. (He has to pay for her and the children). He does not have to buy more than basic clothings; so he can refuse to go shopping as long as she has good functional clothes for everyday of the week. If you wanna play games of providing only the basic and actually following the way of the prophet; he only provides the basics and you do the basics; great marriage that will last. Also he can marry 4 wives according to all madhabs if he can provide for them all.

[@thetruth27786]

He cant because Allah made it obligatory

[@thetruth27786]

Allah says "the believing men and women conduct their affaira by mutual consultation" ....whatever is inbetween not obligatory like cooking etc and like polygamy is not fardh,you have to consult each other....this entire thing of you want your wife to cook and clean and you also dont want to consult her about taking other wives is oppression,islam doesnt teach this islam says to make mashoora,so if you going to sat im not obligates to consult her shes going to sat shes not obligated to cook and clean

[@greyarea5164]

@@thetruth27786 how did i disagree with what you wrote? i never talked about consulting the wife before marrying again. Do not get emotional. We do not disagree, i am agreeing with you that marriage works by consultation and working out roles.

[@ldrago6031]

@@greyarea5164seems like you’re the only emotional person here 🥱

[@MessiWorldCup-th2de]

@@thetruth27786well it’s obligatory for u to obey ur husband so cook if he says u wanna play fard game then go cook it’s an order

[@muslimsloveforallhateforno6998]

I don't cook for my husband also I don't clean for him. My husband does it all him self. Thank you Allah swt.

[@baller3026]

so what do you do?

[@baller3026]

Akil Ali relax bro I understand where you're coming from, but we don't know the full picture. Maybe they both work? Or something like that

[@blackpearl8574]

I'd like to say this: it makes a difference if one says I don't cook FOR MY HUSBAND, and when one says I don't cook , period. What does it mean in the former? I cook for myself and he cooks for himself, right? In the case of the latter, we can see that every family may have its own arrangements for a variety of reasons, one cooks, the other one cleans, etc etc. We marry because we want to do things for each other, because I don't do something "for you" , I do it FOR US, we are the union.

[@schreingeiss]

I can't believe the low manners of speech by people watching Islamic lectures. What are you benefiting from these lessons when your speech is full of profanity and aggression to people who have no effect on you?

[@a2isha]

@@shadowplay9516 you have serious issues

[@AliA-nz1zc]

Ibn al-Qayyim said, concerning the story of Asma: When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw Asma with the date pits on her head, and her husband al-Zubayr was with her, he did not tell him that she did not have to serve him, or that this was unfair to her. He approved of her serving him and of all the women among the Sahaabah helping their husbands. This is a matter concerning which there is no doubt.

[@jangodarkblade3360]

I always look forward to your videos

[@msalum_]

Footypal 2017 Aslamualeykum, PLEASE check out and subscribe to my channel, for beautiful islamic content! jazakallah (:

[@jangodarkblade3360]

SalamWithISLAM ok thank you

[@blackpearl8574]

Yes, there are such concepts as haqq, naashiza, etc etc. But the way I see it, "go cook for yourself" shows wrong understanding what marriage is all about. Yes, some of us need to know what exactly Islam says about the rights of partners in marriage, but many of these things are the common sense, and understanding why I am his wife and he my husband. I assume we are together because we love one another, and the attitude "I do something for You" and "go cook for yourself" is not acceptable way of relating to each other. Marriage is not a restaurant where everyone orders his or her dish, but a voluntary union of two people who share love, emotions, feelings, sentiments between each other, and on this premise YES I want, I need, I love, to cook for you, even if we all agree on the wording "for you". And I don't need "instructions" even from such a grey eminence like Hamza Yusuf, or anyone of his stature to tell me about my "rights" in marriage. Because my common sense and my love for my husband tell me what is right or wrong.

[@pinar8735]

I agree with you, but I also see the need for his reminder. I believe his reminder is for those who lacks Islamic knowledge and who uses verses and hadiths to meet their own agenda. I personally know of people and situations where the wife is expected to do everything whether she works or not. She is expected to clean, cook, and do whatever he says and the husbands just sit and do nothing. And they quote verses and hadiths and say to their wife "you have to obey/listen to me". And I think you will agree that thos behaviour is wrong. Alhamdulillah, their are people and relationships that work because people use common sense and can truly understand marriage and how healthy relationships work. I think this was a reminder to men that if their wife does something they should be greatful because she is not obligated to do it and she doing it out of love.

[@blackpearl8574]

Pinar , They should be grateful, you said. I will respectfully disagree with such an attitude. In marriage, the closest union of a man in and a woman, we should not feel "grateful" to each other for what we do in this union. It is normal, it is natural, that we do various "jobs" in everyday life. And of course that one of the woman's duty is to take care of the kitchen, it's so normal, this is her realm, which shouldn't be looked at as "obligation" , where she is doing a favor to her husband, who has to be especially thankful for her kindness to do so. Who is cooking if I live alone? Me, myself of course, unless I hire a cook. So, will I leave my kitchen when I get married, and let it be his realm from then on, or will I naturally continue doing what I have always done, except this time for two people, i.e. making tasty food and enjoying it now in the company of two of us!

[@pinar8735]

BlackPearl Lily I appreciate your response and respect your opinion and views. When I said grateful, I meant both should be grateful for each other. In Islam there are certain rights and responsibilities for both the husband and wife. Nowadays, I see individuals who only do exactly what the islamic teachings are and nothing else. For example a husband is only required to give the basic needs, but if the husband took his wife out to eat she would be very happy. This is common sense, but a lot of people lack the basic understanding of marriage and love. I personally wouldn't have any issues cooking for my husband and I don't think cooking is a big deal. However, if he didn't treat me well, consistently complained, and never did anything outside of his responsibilities, then I wouldn't want to cook. Yes you do have to cook when you are single, but most of us don't cook really nice meals. Btw in Islam it never specified that women must cook or clean, but she does get rewarded from doing so. May Allag grant us a good and pious spouse

[@blackpearl8574]

Pinar , Yes dear, I agree with you, thanks for your comment, may Allah Grant us a good and pious husband! Ameen.

[@safiyas3373]

It's true but I think it's just an example. Because in certain cases, one of the spouses takes advantage of these verses for the wrong reasons but to express control. And it's always good to understand what Allah asks of us

[@yus3158]

1:55 what are the four criteria?

[@keepitreelcatfishing5883]

Feminism and Islam don’t mix

[@ihtishaamislam356]

If we knew this we wouldn’t ever get married 2021 dangerous

[@Ihavemadeit999]

So we shoumd hide this so sister fall into mens trap?Inshallah more people find this video and marry the right ones

[@ldrago6031]

Men trying to hide women’s right 😂 jahil

[@syed_21188]

As Salaamu 3laykum, sorry I disagree with the Shaykh's point regarding cooking. This is not balance that is taught in Islam. When a man has to work and spend time and protect and guard and guide the family. It's not for the wife to sit around at home and do nothing.

[@redemissarium]

I also disagree. Man, all those career woman and college woman when they single they clean and cook and do everything willingly, when they have husband suddenly they start counting who do what. This is a form of rebellion and disrespect and if the husband simping it wont end well for the marriage. at this rate no man should married anymore

[@halimasadia2413]

I love u sheikh

[@aidahabdghani3173]

Good information.But allowance should be given to discussion between husband and wife to arrive at a decision.Marriage is sharing of life between a man and woman.

[@rehanac]

I also met Yusuf quite a few times, he is also Greek

[@ihtishaamislam356]

Yes because of this many many marriages broken n in danger zone

[@ehsanulmajidify]

If Allah says hooqok then there was no reason to give this verse as haq applies without saying. Rather Allah said why she should be obeying, because Allah choose one upon another in terms of giving superiority and because men spend. So clear and easy to understand.

[@mdriyaz8837]

Allah no anywhere said directly that women should obey their husband.but Allah says in quran to obey Allah and his messenger and to whom who has right/authority over you.here Allah is talking about religious leader, political leader, husband. So one have to obey husband on those things which have his authority explained in quran.

[@thetruth27786]

No Allah did not say in charge of women he said responsible for women in maintenance....and the righteous wife obeys her husband TO WHAT ALLAH HAS ASKED HER TO GUARD,not what anything the husband just says and this verse is meaning to keeping her chastity not any obedience,hence you cant strike your wife for any obedience you say its specific for disloyalty....and btw strike doesnt mean hit here it means to strike out like in baseball to go home,to send her home....... Hence in (4:128) Allah says if you fear disobedience from your husband then you can seek a divorce ....if you saying the verse blindly means to obey your husband then the same word is in (4:128) which will also then mean obey your husband but its for specific disobedience only.Its not feminist you are not accepting of Allahs law and a misogynist

[@ehsanulmajidify]

It is so easy to say Allah did not mean this or that, rather Allah means something else. I can also give my opinion on this because interpretation is open, but praise be to Allah there is something called Hadith in Islam that protects the true meanings. That's why many in mordern days feminist type of Quran Interpreter hesitate to use hadith in parallel. Obeying husband is not slavery, or it doesn't mean humiliation. This is also streamly logical to function a family. Responsibilities and authority always goes parallel, in every part of our live. But the feminist only like to take fro. Husband but not giving.... next reply I will show what is Obeying in Hadiths.

[@peacefulvibez8694]

I wish he made it more clear. I don't think it's fair to say the husband gets to choose wherever they stay at whatever time... ofc the wife has a say too.

[@inkofknowledge]

In the full lecture, Shaykh Hamza does go in to a lot of detail explaining the 4 categories. I decided against adding that because it would have added 10 mins to the video.

[@inkofknowledge]

Of course the wife has a say. I think this will addressed in my final video Husn al-Ishra (beautiful companionship).

[@bilaleltimbukti7297]

I think clarification on this is important, a lot of people may get the wrong idea

[@bilaleltimbukti7297]

I think clarification on this is important, a lot of people may get the wrong idea

[@peacefulvibez8694]

Nabil Yasini exactly. Like a man can't decide that... especially if the woman is helping around

[@toobar1316]

what if your husband forbids u to go out with female friends within same town ? or school college trip to another city ,while he is free to go anywhere anytime and can have fun

[@mdriyaz8837]

Prophet said it is right of man over women that she do not go outside of house if he do not allow her. Women will be sinful if she go out of the house if her husband do not allowed her.

[@tisko7188]

@@mdriyaz8837 please check about opinions of scholars on that hadeeth because scholars duffer on that opinion

[@mah9455]

He should provide for you with basic needs. Going out without his permission is a sin. But his family comes first not friends.

[@thetruth27786]

You dont have to obey if his being unfair...you can divorce him

[@ThePlatineist]

Honestly, my instinct says he needs to learn what it means to be a man first. Stop trying to control another human being's actions. On the other hand, the context is important. Are you going out every night while he is working hard and he feels like no one has his back to cook for him while he was out working all day while you're jobless? Or is it really what you said, he just wants to do whatever he wants and restricts your movement because he thinks he can. In that second case I'd find it unacceptable. There are boundaries and responsibilities to the role he has been given. It should have a higher purpose if he ever gave you some type of request to alter your behavior. It should be done with respect. He is not your boss. Or he risks dying alone 'cause no one wants to stay by his side. Because now we women are lucky that we can go find a job in most places and provide for ourselves whereas before we'd be bound to a guy like that forever.

[@yakobadamovich1813]

Allah says in Surah An-Nisa, Verse: 34 "Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand". The rest is feminist speculation

[@thetruth27786]

No Allah did not say in charge of women he said responsible for women in maintenance....and the righteous wife obeys her husband TO WHAT ALLAH HAS ASKED HER TO GUARD,not what anything the husband just says and this verse is meaning to keeping her chastity not any obedience,hence you cant strike your wife for any obedience you say its specific for disloyalty....and btw strike doesnt mean hit here it means to strike out like in baseball to go home,to send her home....... Hence in (4:128) Allah says if you fear disobedience from your husband then you can seek a divorce ....if you saying the verse blindly means to obey your husband then the same word is in (4:128) which will also then mean obey your husband but its for specific disobedience only.Its not feminist you are not accepting of Allahs law and a misogynist

[@salaahkhayr2398]

@@thetruth27786 so what do you have to say about the hadith that a woman cannot fast without the permission of her husband?

[@ldrago6031]

@@salaahkhayr2398the women can also make the husband break his voluntary fast so what’s your point 😂

[@MessiWorldCup-th2de]

@@ldrago6031she can’t 😂

[@eawadallah09]

Can you please link the full lecture.

[@abukhalid7447]

So what if the man can't cook and the wife won't cook . What sort of relationship would this be. How can that be a loving relationship? WIfe refusing to cook? Each of the partners should do deeds within the marriage for Allah's reward and race towards jannah. Hamza yusuf,didn't speak with wisdom here. By what he said may have caused fitnah in some homes.

[@toobad9295]

then you learn to cook? it's not that deep :)

[@abukhalid7447]

@@toobad9295 I wouldn't have time as i work in a factory 9 hours day ,6 days a week. I work so i can provide for my family. Can you suggest another way around this? Maybe my wife who is at home should cook? Or wouldn't that be correct?

[@toobad9295]

@@abukhalid7447 if your wife doesn't have a job she can cook but if she's raising kids at the same time you should still help out as raising kids is a job itself, and obviously you should still raise your kids as you're their father if you don't have kids she shouldn't have a problem cooking as she's not occupied with anything else but also why don't you both work part time? some days you'll be working other days she'll be working some days you'll be cooking and cleaning other days she'll be cooking and cleaning plus you'll both get time with your kids (IF you have kids) as kids need both their parents, not just the mom (personal experience) BUT if you're happy with the way things are going in your family and if your wife is happy with the way things are going in your family then you should keep doing whatever you're doing, because all I care about is both of y'alls happiness and your kids happiness at the end of the day Allah (swt) just wants your marriage to work and wants there to be love between spouses as long as that's the case and you're not sinning you're not doing anything wrong wish both of you all the happiness :)

[@TheMaghi85]

Take away

[@papitrapstar1575]

@@toobad9295 No a RealMan will leave her ass for a woman who Will do the things his current 'wife' won't do. I'd leave her for anything aha Ong!❄️💯

[@immigrationlaw1984]

The cooking part dont make sense.

[@rehanac]

That’s Yusuf Islam, he is Greek, and he also a revert.

[@springwinds7208]

♥️

[@rammohmad966]

ikr

[@beataslupecka1177]

Women must obey husband ! Period

[@principlemethods5281]

Seems like someone's beating around the bush. keeping it "PC" I see.. Many situations fall under a gray area as to who has the right to do what. Who has the authority in such situations?

[@Sorel366]

how is he beating around the bush when he starts by saying "it's binding upon the woman to obey the husband"

[@brianfinnegan3465]

yes my wife is obedient to me

[@beataslupecka1177]

That how should be !

[@khadijafulan8308]

Yup, marriage is not for me..

[@navstamustaghfar631]

the sunnah is not for you, ok....

[@CathyKitson]

@@navstamustaghfar631 Not necessarily. She can be a good Muslim and not get married.

[@studentemounirines8664]

Don't get conditioned by this video, in fact allah swt is right and injustice is caused only by the ignorance of man, he fails to understand the wisdom of Qur'an and tries to make right what is evidently not.

[@theecologist10]

​@@navstamustaghfar631if slemones afraid of being a bad wife isnt it better to stay single?especially since most of hell will be women. It's why I've also decided to stay single, why risk my afterlife if I'm stuck with a man who's hard to please

[@frenzybuzz3703]

Me too

[@aymanalmadani4663]

حسبي الله ونعم الوكيل thank this is all what we need now … go cook for your self !!!

[@navhuss958]

Women are not loyal to their husbands anymore and don't even listen once they are scandalous and only listen to the non believers

[@EB-gt1pq]

How do their husbands behave? Like a good husband’s? I think not.

[@papitrapstar1575]

Yoo mydarg Ong realtalk, they not loyal n don't wana submit too. They Don't even fear allah either myG astag!❄️💯

[@SISTIC1]

What’s the use of her if she can’t cook?

[@deedeee6271]

What woman alive would ever think you’re worth it? If your single it’s no surprise.

[@jonathanjones5554]

@@deedeee6271 Well if I'm obligated to support her in Islam, I expect her to take on most of the domestic duties and have dinner ready for me on the table. That's common courtesy and respect for your partner who comes home tired. Otherwise I will allow her to get a job and pay half the rent and bills if even this much is so hard for her.

[@RA-jk4gn]

@@jonathanjones5554 islamically if she refuses to pay, then you can't force her. But in terms of cooking, I have never seen a woman who hands down refused to cook. At times maybe, if she is tied for example, but that should not anger a husband, because she is human too. My wife sometimes can't cook, because she was too tired, and I accept that. Women are not robots.

[@jonathanjones5554]

@@RA-jk4gn I agree with you, women are not robots, but neither are Men. Marriage in our Deen is about serving and helping one another for the sake of Allah. If we try to make it a conpetition of "these are my rights," such marriages won't last. Husband and Wife should most definitely help one another, but my message is more directed to the feminists who don't know the value of a husband despite the evidence given by many hadiths and Quran. There is much reward and Ajar for respecting and obeying your husband in this life and the hereafter, but Feminists don't seem to understand that.

[@RA-jk4gn]

@@jonathanjones5554 I agree with you. All I'm saying is if a woman doesn' serve food one day because she is tired, or she came back from somewhere, the husband shouldn't be angry.