Obi Wan Doesn't Drink Anymore

A lot of people have been asking me which comedian this is, so just wanted to let you guys know it's John Mulaney.

[@Rebel_Friend]

“Luke asked me what happened to his father, and I told him he was murdered by Vader. You know, like a liar.”

[@issytheamateurnerd9877]

Laughed way too hard at this!😂😂😂

[@issytheamateurnerd9877]

@@guardianvalor962 100% agree. Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader are two different people. Vader used to be Anakin, and he's aware of that, but they're not the same person.

[@electrosindustries5299]

@@issytheamateurnerd9877 Yeah, Anakin only genocides people who directly hurt him.

[@wannabehistorian371]

Congrats for the pin.

[@mitaftsis3919]

I don't know why but the way he told that story reminded me so much of technoblade

[@saberfaber3203]

The best thing is i can absolutely see padawan anakin smashing a glass and yelling scatter

[@nathanielrobinson7533]

I disagree Yoda stealing the antique photos (holo crone) that is hilarious

[@Rhea_North_2026]

Same lol

[@johnnygyro2295]

Is it weird that I can see Leia doing that?

[@Lavenderblood111]

I can see knight anakin smashing a bottle-

[@salvagedude625]

would upvote except for 420 likes

[@inception_bwah1218]

"On Monday I went to school because that's what we did back then" damn that hits different now

[@loneshadow0844]

Damn man, my entire Senior year was just virtual. I haven't even stepped foot in school this year. Edit: Spelling

[@dacstudios1168]

It sure does! *I have only 3 months of actual 8th Grade, that could change thought perhaps.*

[@bobmartin9918]

yeah....

[@thomasalvarez6456]

@@loneshadow0844 Good thing you didn’t step in any food. Wouldn’t want jelly on your shoes.

[@loneshadow0844]

@@thomasalvarez6456 🤣 I just now saw that.

[@meggoldnight]

THE FACT ITS YODA WHO DID IT, IS JUST PERFECTION

[@atomix1876]

Steal old family photos, I must

[@man-oy6pl]

klepto is the way of the jedi it seems hmmm

[@lhaureencariagge9668]

On ketamine I am. Must ruin families, I must.

[@jesussfavoriteginger699]

Must ruin family homes, I must

[@quartiermeisterf9875]

I wouldnt be suprised if he actually did something like that

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

Climbing a fence that high was a pivitol moment for me! It taught me the true power of the High Ground!

[@oldrelic2690]

General Kenobi....

[@dexoearth9167]

You are the master of the high ground,Kenobi. Maul:KANOBI!!

[@rapscallionsnipe]

@@dexoearth9167 kenobi*

[@randyking2057]

SPACE JESUS

[@Dovah22]

Hey kenobi, did you ever tell luke and leia this story?

[@moonflame1170]

I think the genius of this is in the tiny details. The fact that it's the clones partying hard, that it's Anakin who smashes the bottle and yells "scatter", that Ghost!Obi is telling this story to Ghost!Qui-Gon years later. This is art.

[@VulpisFoxfire]

No comment on it being Jar-Jar who broke the pool table? :-)

[@nathanielrobinson7533]

Yeah

[@nathanielrobinson7533]

@@VulpisFoxfire that’s who it is

[@Rhea_North_2026]

Ikr

[@sonianadashkevich927]

Anakin has a robotic hand

[@theflickchick9850]

WHEN JAR JAR HIT THE POOL TABLE, I SAID OUT LOUD- “JAR JAR WOULD”

[@Rhea_North_2026]

Jar jar would break the pool table anyway lol

[@jarjarbinks4744]

1:12

[@joejr.537]

Lol 😂

[@Webshooters1]

Complete with the "OH NO!" voice.

[@AnakinandPadme1231]

And ofc r2 would shit in the office lol

[@fredjones2170]

“A hundred drunk white children” works a little too well when you remember the clones are 10 years old... Seriously though, this is amazing!

[@endislayerb9850]

This is LITERALLY the 9yr old army

[@dummkopf7981]

@Rene Jones that may be, but their armor is white (and in this video they're depicted as wearing their armor so it works)

[@fredjones2170]

@Rene Jones Oh, I was referencing their armor, not their complexion

[@Joe-pm8de]

@@fredjones2170 Fred whats your catchphrase shaggy has zoinks or something do you have shit?

[@fredjones2170]

@@Joe-pm8de No, I say "Fuck". (also any resemblance to ascot-wearing Scoobert Doo characters is entirely coincidental; I actually didn't know his full name was Fred Jones until years after making this account)

[@kerrinmangan8379]

of course anakin is the "scatter!" guy. It could never be anyone else

[@PhantomToast304]

Agreed

[@cody_monkeybutt3697]

What about Ahsoka Tano? I would see he doing that but she does take after Anakin a lot too

[@draconianscout]

You see the character design for anakin? Ahsoka ain't even there yet

[@cody_monkeybutt3697]

@@draconianscout I only said Ahsoka because the person said “it could never be anyone else” so yes I know it was anakin but the only other one I would see doing something like that if it wasn’t anakin would be Ahsoka.

[@troglodyte280]

@@cody_monkeybutt3697 Ashoka doesn’t have a kid that’s why anakin was chosen because Jedi don’t have children except him

[@42meep13]

Using the clone helmet as a giant chug cup was amazing. And since both clones in that scene had their helmets we can only assume they snatched another clone's helmet to use as a giant mug. Also R2 being the one who took a shit on a computer

[@aperson9023]

Time stamp?

[@vadernation1233]

Nah the guy drinking probably took his helmet off to drink. There’s 3 guys two helmeted ones cheering the helmet-less chugging guy.

[@darkpool7289]

He probably cover it in oil

[@nillanaphid]

I'd really love to chug jug with you

[@AnakinandPadme1231]

Ikr

[@grassblock7668]

Pool table : *breaks in half* Darth Maul:"Welcome to my world"

[@krisgordon3116]

Guess their members of Bills Mafia

[@greerjpeg]

I WAS WODERING HOW ANAKIN WAS GNNA FIT INTO THIS AND WHEN HE SAYS SCATTER THAT JUST KILLS ME

[@enigmaodell6806]

That was such a perfect illustration too

[@firestriker3580]

@@enigmaodell6806 Nah

[@honoramongassasins8056]

This is the kind of content I came to the Star Wars fandom for.

[@lennysummers6672]

I came for star wars and stayed for this shit

[@daseapickleofjustice7231]

Ah yes because it's some sort of small fandom and not like the thing literally everyone knows everything about. The day star wars becomes some small nerdy community is probably decades into the future

[@LordVader1094]

@@daseapickleofjustice7231 The sooner the better, because that'll mean big corps don't have their hands on it anymore. Also you COMPLETELY misunderstood what OP was saying about why they joined the fandom lol

[@goroakechi6126]

I like that Aayla is the most responsible Knight in the entire order.

[@aayla9982]

Thanks

[@htyrohoryth6698]

Aayla? Wasnt that Shaak Ti-ts?

[@Bubbly_Dragon]

@@htyrohoryth6698 Sir, this is KZbin, we don't have any shark tits here

[@stupidstudiosproductions2179]

@@htyrohoryth6698 Boi

[@demi-femme4821]

@@htyrohoryth6698 Ayla was the one who said "something, something, Jedi Council", while Shaak Tii was one of the council members.

[@Meeko4eve39]

This is also why Obi-Wan doesn't want to buy any death sticks anymore 😏

[@tr1stan706]

Lool

[@ezekielmartin4323]

In hindsight, Elan Sleazebaggano definitely should've made an appearance lol

[@renetrograde]

i love all of this. the drunk clones. shaak ti being impressed. anakin smashing a 40 on the counter. r2 being a baby and a tauntaun being a horse. but most of all, i am fucking FERAL over how much i love the idea of yoda stealing holocrons. not because he foresaw a great tragedy in the force and wished to preserve some record of the jedi. not because he grabbed them as he was leaving the jedi temple for the last time. no. just to fuck with people. absolutely golden.

[@wannabehistorian371]

R2 is a dog here not a baby. But yes agreed with all of this.

[@artemis_smith]

Yoda's behavior is consistent with the fact that he does ketamine and hits people with his 2003 Civic

[@detectivealex12]

“Mmmmm. Because the one thing you can’t replace it is.”

[@ninjaked1265]

I’m disappointed that there’s no Ahsoka

[@te_arts7085]

She's too innocent that time 😂

[@stsnmarsh823]

me to

[@aayla9982]

me too

[@droidmaker7932]

Wait, was still technically a kid as he had the ATOC clones look during the story. He was 19

[@MadChristoph]

This was a little bit after Attack of the Clones, so Ahsoka didn't make her appearance yet

[@rosieg6989]

I love this, this might explain why Obi-Wan went from a crazy Padawan to a zen Jedi.

[@grassblock7668]

literally no one: Council:"We can't help Mandalore or it's duchess in this situation" Obi-Wan: 1:46

[@ElleLillian]

Underrated comment

[@blackbearflower4251]

I've been laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thomashills2470]

Obitine for life

[@stupidstudiosproductions2179]

Obi wan is a Satine simp confirmed

[@grassblock7668]

@@stupidstudiosproductions2179 they loved each other since they were both like 14/15,so yep😂

[@Ashy-zz5ug]

I love how the clones are like 'yeah general, we can party hard with you.'

[@mhillxK]

"An elegant story, for a more civilised age"

[@wannabehistorian371]

For some reason John Mulaney kind of started sounding like an American Ewan McGregor to me. But one of the best things might be imagining Old Ben Kenobi saying these things. Aside from everything else of course. Also Obi-Wan’s blank, stoned expression. And I was just waiting for Anakin to smash that glass and was not disappointed. But is it me, or would Jar-Jar have fit as Steve Urkel.

[@ocularzombie6679]

the laughing audience is the rebels

[@kiwikipedia]

mace's wife is ponds confirmed lmAO

[@Courier6FNV]

To bad aura sing killed him

[@ocefloww]

F

[@LordVader1094]

I miss Ponds ;(

[@macewindu3492]

@@LordVader1094 yeah, Ponds was a Chad

[@retrorenegade8562]

I love how Qui Gonn is listening like an older sibling or parent, it’s hilarious.

[@valmid5069]

*Trying to find Obi Wan Kenobi’s KZbin Channel’s comment*

[@thepizzatime3502]

Sup

[@godbloodspilla7154]

@@thepizzatime3502 you sit upon a throne of lies

[@thepizzatime3502]

@@godbloodspilla7154 changing my name was a mistake

[@godbloodspilla7154]

@@thepizzatime3502 it will haunt you for life

[@thepizzatime3502]

@@godbloodspilla7154 Noooooooo what have I done

[@StarryFandomGirl]

Omg Obi Wan and Maul at the “saw our legs off” made me laugh so hard 😂

[@tollywallace8468]

plot twist: Obi-Wan started order 66 while drunk

[@RonnieFlare17]

0:55 Vibe Check. But seriously oh my goodness this ENTIRE THING IS HILARIOUS

[@generalgrevious5841]

Omfg this is art

[@johnlesbianwick4676]

unrelated but you have the best pfp i've ever seen

[@annim.2611]

hello there

[@ElleLillian]

Your profile picture is art

[@kstu3215]

Leader of the clankas this is art

[@nyan_katz]

amazing pfp

[@raptalos9412]

“Another story I heard about myself” is one of the best John Mulaney quotes And the way he says “Rat-tat-tooey”

[@thewerewolff7248]

oh my god yoda being the thief is so good! hes not "freaking out about it" with the other council members too which is great touch! well done!

[@randomsquidproductions4061]

Young Boba should have been the one taking a shit on Mace's computer.

[@pedrolima7944]

That would have made so much more sense than r2d2 (not saying it's bad, it's great, it would have been just awesome with boba)

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

No he shouldn’t

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

@@pedrolima7944 no it doesn’t make more sense. It makes sense with R2

[@Sonic_the_Hedge-hog]

@@godzpeedx7ii75h yes a robot taking a shit is more plausible

[@victoriaanne6332]

⁠@@godzpeedx7ii75seeing as boba tried to murder mace and r2d2 saved his life boba makes way more sense

[@issytheamateurnerd9877]

Original Trilogy version: (I know Luke and Leia didn't know each other before the destruction of Alderaan, but bear with me here.) Luke: Another story I heard about myself, this one happened my early days of being a Jedi. There was this senator back then who's adopted daughter was my sister, his name was Senator Organa and his daughter, Leia Organa, was my sister. She was a princess and I was a farmer so we were very different. And Senator Organa was.... an ashhole. So one weekend he and his wife decided to go off planet, which you should never do if you're an ashhole. And Leia Organa decided to throw a party...at the senator's house.... Hooray.... And all the rebels heard about it.... And we all got up individually and thought, "Okay, let's go over there and.... DESTROY THE PLACE!" I walked into this party, everyone I'd ever met was there, and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the universe! People were drinking like it was The Clone Wars and the Separatists were coming to shoot our heads off! It was totally unsupervised! We were like R2 units without Protocol Droids, we were running wild! I walked down... I walked down to the basement, they had a sabacc table in the basement. One dude took a running start, threw his body onto the sabacc table, and broke it in HALF! Another kid, found out which room was Senator Organa's, went upstairs, and pooped on his telecommunicator. ....... So the party was going great! I'm standing in the basement, and I'm holding my drink, and I'm starting to blackout, and I guess someone said, like, "Something...something...Bucketheads!" And in a brilliant moment of word association I yelled...., "KRIFF THE BUCKETHEADS! KRIFF THE BUCKETHEADS!" And everyone else joined in.... A hundred......drunk......rebels.... Yelling, "Kriff. The. Bucketheads." With the confidence of guys who've already been captured by the Empire and aren't afraid of them anymore, y'know that, "I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU ANYMORE! YOU COME AND TAKE ME!" confidence. But from drunk rebels. The reason someone had said, "Something....something....Bucketheads!" Was because the Empire was there! So a Stormtrooper walked down the stairs, got to the bottom of the basement, and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling, "Kriff the Bucketheads," In his FACE! And he was almost impressed. He was like, "Wow...." Then he leaned into his radio, and went, "Get the carriers!" And my friend, Han, who is now a father, this man now has a BABY! He grabbed a bottle, smashed it on the ground and yelled, "SCATTER!" And everyone ran in a different direction! We all ran in different directions! We were like womprats on Tatooine when you try to shoot them from above with air-canons and they all go in different ways! We all ran in different directions! I ran into a storage room, and I climbed onto some boxes, then I crawled through a window to the backyard, and now I'm running through the backyard and there was this big electric fence, and I thought, "I've never climbed a fence that high before!" And then I woke up at home. On Monday, I went to Alderaan, because we could do that back then. And I'm exiting my ship and who do I see? But Leia Organa. She was like, "Hey, were you at my party on Saturday?" And I said, "No." Y'know, like a liar... And she goes, "Things got really out of hand... Someone broke the sabacc table.... Someone pooped on my dad's telecommuincator.... But the worst thing is that someone stole these old holos of my grandmother. And my parents are freaking out about it!" And I had that thought, that only blackout drunks can have... "Did I do that?" I figured, "No, I wouldn't have done that." But I was never sure, Untill four years later.... So, I'm hanging out with this guy named Lando, who was also a friend of ours. Four years later, we've blown up the second Death Star by now. So we're hanging out for a couple hours, when Lando says to me, "Hey, c'mere, I wanna show you something." And he takes me into his bedroom.... Then he takes into a side room, off of his bedroom.... Never a good thing to have. And he shows me a tiny room that is covered wall-to-wall in stolen holograms from different people's parties over the years.... And I said, "Why.....why do you do this.....?" And Lando said, "Because it's the one thing you can't replace!"

[@Mev-ni2mi]

got to admire the effort you put in

[@issytheamateurnerd9877]

@@Mev-ni2mi Took a while, but it was worth it.

[@Wildduckpro]

Now I want to see Mark Hamil narrate this

[@issytheamateurnerd9877]

@@Wildduckpro LOL! I'd probably pay like a million dollars to get him to do that! That would be awesome!😂😂😂

[@wyatt_76]

The effort is admirable, and the fact that it was Han doing the bottle smashing makes this even more golden cause it’s something he’d 100% do then get slapped in the arm by Leia 😂

[@crabsnake4556]

Seeing obi wan's mouth open up like a muppet and him yelling fuck da police is just beautiful

[@ShinobudRUski]

After the fall of the Republic, Obi-Wan needed a way of living, so he turned to comedy.

[@izzywood2874]

If only star wars detours

[@miketrujillo3677]

For a drink

[@victoriaanne6332]

That joke was funny and you all laughed!

[@mikaya4187]

0:45 did he just... drawed a jedi using the force to drink ?😂😂

[@rapscallionsnipe]

Yes yes he did

[@ghaniKSW2]

ah yes the past tense of draw

[@Madison-iw8ix]

The fact that Depa, Obi-Wan, and Yoda are also on the Council makes this 100000% funnier.

[@basedbattledroid3507]

I need to see more of Prison Grievous... so much more...

[@badbraingotobed7640]

Grievous would run the prison. Nothing would get past him. Ever.

[@basedbattledroid3507]

@@badbraingotobed7640 especially not jedi slime

[@ChupeTTe]

@@basedbattledroid3507 And republican dogs

[@basedbattledroid3507]

@@ChupeTTe Roger Roger

[@kirbo-withknifo7428]

My favorite part is the “SCATTER” part because I can actually see Anakin doing this.

[@jessicashultz8325]

I like the scattered because it reminds me of Helluva Boss.

[@jacobortiz172]

"It's the one thing you can't replace" bro that shit is straight up EVIL 😭

[@thomasw4422]

This is going to haunt me. I am so glad for digital backups these days though

[@cadaverriffic9533]

So 3+ years since I made this, just wanted to say that I love that Anakin smashing the bottle on the ground is the most replayed part of this video. It was literally the first scene I thought of when I decided to make this video and it's still probably my favourite.

[@ViewTube_Emperor_of_Mankind]

WoW.. i'm glad the thief went with his psychopathic obsession into something that doesn't have killing in it..

[@saltyteenager5865]

For some reason R2 being the one to take a shit on the computer sounds completely in character for him

[@LedosKell]

I love the thought that Yoda was at this party, probably disguised as a youngling, and he stole a bunch of holocrons just because.

[@comediccenter7233]

"Say police" "Council" "No no, say Poe..." "Poe..." "Leece... Police" "Leece... Council😃"

[@ashleyd9310]

this is PERFECT

[@stsnmarsh823]

ikr

[@baller9045]

69nth like

[@masterqui-gonjinn90]

This is extremely entertaining

[@obiwankenobi1113]

Master you're alive

[@satinekryze2893]

Obi-wan weren’t you the one telling him the story

[@obiwankenobi1113]

@@satinekryze2893 well yes but he was able to comment the comment so

[@depressedgwyndolin]

@@satinekryze2893 wait your dead

[@enderlazerblade]

@@obiwankenobi1113 so you don't drink anymore

[@Fallen_YT]

Anakin yelling “SCATTER!” Just did it for me

[@mr.l8723]

Considering this is Qui-Gon’s apprentice, he’d so say this

[@banjofrog9951]

the facial expressions are so simple but so good

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

Not simple

[@halfofapicture]

*Antique Photo Exists: Alex: This will be a fine addition to my collection

[@NameName2.0]

Quigon just like "It's ok buddy" so wholesome.

[@Ashy-zz5ug]

Order 66 be hitting different. No that's like order idk 67 or whatever.

[@acerookie1173]

Man, the jedi can party.

[@MrKrossix]

2:53 Me to my OT-fans when the Star Wars Forum gets out of hand...

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

OT sucks

[@katiecooper1387]

THIS IS GOLD! XD I love that it's Anakin who smashes the bottle! But the whole thing is glorious!

[@Emma.Lou1]

The fact that Mr. McNamara represents Mace Windu makes this all the better.

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

No

[@Violet_Jedi_Sylveon]

This is so hilarious! I've watched it five times already and it still makes me laugh! I also love Yoda's proud face at 5:06

[@mariselanitschmann4430]

This is the best thing that makes my day

[@bridgetdunleavy3549]

I gasped when Alex was Yoda

[@philhenderson5113]

1:12: "Mesa tinks me broke me bombad spine..."

[@rapscallionsnipe]

😂😂😂

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

No

[@funmenpowell2092]

Satan speaking to the kid who stoled and take photos of past family members: welp i will say i am a huge fan

[@IronPiedmont]

Saw Aayla Secura in the thumbnail, stayed for the comedy.

[@aayla9982]

Ok

[@grantpodue39]

same

[@thrawnedits5860]

Same here

[@trissy1598]

"the party was going great"

[@Magpie_Thistle]

Why do I feel like after they beat the emperor and the second Death Star he would have told Luke this story!

[@jasonyoungkin1117]

I’m really convinced that this actually happened at the Jedi temple!😂

[@RandoClone]

This is why we need a comedy in star wars

[@macekreislahomes1690]

My Jedi General explaining Order 66 after returning from The Mandalorian Campaign be like:

[@Just_normal_youtube_channel]

4:48 “THE SACRED JEDI TEXTS!”

[@itsATrappp]

"I was bitten by the radioactive pig!"

[@nitzel9909]

0:38 is basically order 66

[@sexyatheist69]

Mace: CITIZEN R2: Shit on the computer

[@Rednova08]

5:15 Talk about turning to the darkside 😂😂😂

[@madisongoodwin5246]

I had no idea what this was going to be and the. I heard “and another story I heard about myself” and I died laughing this is my favorite one of John Mulaney’s

[@jaredstrange3071]

Did I hear John Mulaney just say... “ra-ta-touille”

[@hannahblue7002]

2:03 My favorite part.

[@rapscallionsnipe]

True

[@richardgeorge2250]

The idea of yoda going around and stealing holocrons from everybody is amazing

[@philipharney8907]

I wish a scene like today stealing holocrons was in the movies

[@yaboi5893]

Order 66, a quick summary: 0:32

[@thomasalvarez6456]

3:02 He says Ra-TAA- two- ee Too many E’s

[@Jackson-ub1uv]

2:18 I came for this

[@Spike_365]

This is great especially the part where he said “a doctor coming to saw our legs off” xD Great job dude

[@coopsxo5877]

i have been BLESSED by this video

[@rapscallionsnipe]

Yes

[@markparkinson6947]

I came here because of the smokin' hot Twi'lek in the thumbnail.

[@leenaleewitch3731]

Yoda...no

[@xanderdoss5665]

Deleted Scenes of The Prequel Trilogy

[@certified_geek7536]

I clicked on this on accident. This is the best accident I've ever had

[@core6831]

Plot Twist: This is really all a dream he made up to cope with Order 66.

[@khajiitimanus7432]

Yoda playing as "Alex" is pure GOLD.

[@MoonLight-zj8iu]

That clone was doing a shoey but with his helmet. Amazing

[@ButFirstHeLitItOnFire]

3:21 That hits harder now doesn’t that?

[@rapscallionsnipe]

Yes

[@JoaoPedro-ol7sl]

The story itself is hilarious but with this animation is even better

[@godzpeedx7ii75]

Not

[@lennysummers6672]

Damn, dude knows how to tell a story. Animator and comedian

[@wannabehistorian371]

The artstyle also gives me some LEGO Star Wars vibes and it’s incredibly fitting lol. And Force Ghost Anakin is adorable. As is Old Ben inexplicably. Occasionally I have trouble telling apart Padawan Obi-Wan and Anakin because of the hair, Anakin at 2:48 to 2:55 looks so _Anakin_ to me despite the simplistic art. And I have no idea why.

[@guesswhatthisisnotmyrealna9510]

"Anakin!? WHY, is your padawan DRUNK!?"

[@mrmann2353]

This is extremely underrated

[@catching.rainbows]

Oh, it’s beautiful

[@eliotsennett3003]

I heard this story before but this makes it 10 times better

[@obiwankenobi1113]

I have no memory of this tragedy

[@redstonecasey4713]

"The one thing, it is, that replace it, you cannot."