How to treat ROCD (Relationship OCD)

[@ocdandanxiety]

Do you have ROCD? What treatment strategies work for you?

[@lorrainecorbin2180]

Hi Im taking zoloft 50 mg but I want to get out of it and beat the anxiety by myself but I dont jnoz what to do or if it's gonna be difficult

[@kr1zm1tchell50]

Yes I def have ROCD, over the years I have tried lots of different things to overcome it. It all started for me 2 months after the sudden loss of a close relative to cancer, it was very traumatic to witness. I thought I was just grieving as I felt so low, empty, irritable, paranoid, angry, but I didn't realize I had slipped into depression. I felt like my whole world had been shattered. 2months later something scary happened, I had a very nasty intrusive thought that I didn't love my partner, it was totally not me at all and it frightened me so much I couldn't stop thinking about it/trying desperately to work out why I had that thought, is it really true?. I didn't know what the hell was happening to me? My mind would play out horrible storylines were I had to run away and leave my partner and kids, only that would stop the thoughts ... this led to daily rumination, panic attacks, high anxiety, sleepless nights. I went to see a grief councillor but that didn't really help that much, other than explaining the grief stages. Another close relative passed away, and that made my depression worse. So, I kept fighting through the thoughts each day, some really bad days, some really good days thinking its just grief and eventually I'll come out the other end and be OK. Unfortunately I got worse, as well as the ROCD thoughts I got so low I was having suicidal thoughts, and developed harm ocd too. I eventually got to see a councillor, she helped a lot with depression and the suicidal thoughts, but didn't help the ROCD at all. So I struggled through abit more then got to see a councillor for complicated grief, she was very good, helped me understand what was happening to me and helped me to come to terms with loss and bereavement. I was kind of OK for a while but then ROCD came back with a vengeance, the thoughts of not loving my partner came back and were so so hurtful, my g.p put me on sertraline, the first 3 months was awful on these tablets, my anxiety/thoughts went through the roof, it got so bad I nearly walked out on my partner twice even though it felt like my heart was breaking. But eventually I balanced out on the tablets and started to feel OK, I'd have the odd bad day or two but I was mostly OK. I was meant to start more ROCD bases counselling but due to corona virus that's been put on hold. Then I discovered Nathan on KZbin, his advice on sarcastically going along with the intrusive thoughts and sitting with the anxiety/uncertainty helped enormously. Also I discovered a channel on KZbin called youhaveocd with a lady called Ali Greymond (I think?) , her recovery tips about disregarding thoughts, sarcastically agreeing with ocd thoughts also helped enormously, over the past few weeks I have used both Nathan's and Ali's videos and really have pushed through the anxiety/ROCD/harm ocd thoughts and had some really really good days of nothing but genuine heart felt love and fun with my partner and family, it felt so so good and Iv been so happy and really did think OMG I'm finally getting better now that I understand what to do ... But unfortunately (I hope Nathan can help with this) Ali says that during first steps of recovery your ocd will throw everything at you, its normal, just keep pushing through and it will pass. Well that's what happened, OCD threw everything at me ROCD thoughts, Harm OCD, but I still managed to keep doing ERP and pushing through, I was even laughing at how ludicrous the thoughts were ... until two things set me back again. 1, in one of Ali's recovery videos she says some people that recover from ROCD realize there relationship was wrong eg abusive, violent, or they were just staying in it as its at least better than no relationship, now I don't fall into that category but my ROCD has now latched onto it and I feel really low again. 2. This is the worst, my ROCD is now telling me I don't love my kids anymore, words can't express how hurtful upsetting and crippling that is, my anxiety keeps spiking and I feel so scared and low again. I was expecting ocd to throw lots of different themes at me to keep me afraid but not this, it really has set me back again. Any advice Nathan, or anybody else? I know I have to pick myself up again and keep doing the ERP/disregarding/sarcastically agreeing with the thoughts and I am trying to, but its really hard at the moment.

[@kr1zm1tchell50]

Bit of a update on my above post. Since posting I have continued to do ERP , some good days, some not so good day, but the themes of my thoughts have kept switching which is a sign of recovery progress. Basically OCD can't get you on your usual themes as ERP has taken away the power of said themes, so OCD tries to up itself by giving you variations of your thoughts or new themes to try keep you in fear and doing compulsions/rumination. Now at first the new themes/variations set me back, but I just kept doing ERP for them and it was tough but I pushed through them all!. Now I still get the thoughts but anxiety has reduced even more than before. My mood can be abit low and irritable but that again is just symptoms of your brain reprogramming itself as OCD loses its grip on you. I know Iv still got a long way to go but ERP really is the way forward to recovery! Setbacks and low points are normal part of recovery, just keep fighting and doing ERP as much as you can and you will get there.

[@ravenchaos9216]

You've helped me sooo much i can't even begin to say how thankful i am to have come across your video. you've changed my perspective and well, changed my life!! Thank you so much! I've been so much happier recently and enjoying my relationship, you've helped me realize that i was giving so much power into my thoughts, by embracing them and realizing THEY ARE JUST THOUGHTS has helped tremendously. 🙏

[@ocdandanxiety]

Wow! Thanks for the kind words!! You’re too nice!

[@christeningg8084]

if you looked for this video, you found your true love. keep trying, stay strong and just know we’re all going through it together. ❤️

[@insightmetal]

I hope so... I am on therapy but sometimes (as today) I have the actual sensation that I am wrong, that I am not in love with my partner. Or even worse, that I haven't ever been. But I am committed to do whatever it takes.

[@ejaybravo2621]

Yeah, I can get the feeling. I really love this person. And I wanna be able to fix my mental illness to be better for her and for myself. I hope things get better soon.

[@ralu5784]

@@insightmetal this is what OCD does. She will do all to make you feel this way.

[@sukanyamukherjee696]

Thank you

[@yevasage5653]

I can’t believe how many people can literally relate to what I’m going through rn and it makes me feel less alone and more hopeful thank you!✨💕

[@John-xx5zb]

It’s not easy, guys but it’s definitely do-able. Watch the anxious thoughts with a neutral mind, choose to agree with the bully in your mind (maybe even laugh at the bully) and have a “let’s wait and see” Attitude. Also remember, OCD is attracted only to the things that mean the very most to you.. let that sink in!! ❤️

[@sidakkaur2644]

The last line of your comment made me feel so comfortable, really❤

[@John-xx5zb]

@@sidakkaur2644 you got this 🙌🏻

[@Bigchickens]

Thank you!!

[@kylecountryman9542]

Thank you! That last line gives me some comfort i appreciate that!

[@physis6356]

Thanks for that last line I really needed it!

[@Catz.in.hatz.]

Anybody else almost crying with relief

[@tyranno6_]

Not really. Glad you are, though!

[@dljarman3708]

Careful not to keep revisiting for relief x

[@maybug88]

@@dljarman3708 Guilty! Ugh

[@ss6515]

Yessssssss. Thank god

[@ssmledii]

Thought I was the only one

[@Liv-gn3uk]

I’m so terrified that my rocd and anxiety is going to drive my boyfriend away. Even though he says he’s never going to leave, my rocd makes me feel like he will at any moment.

[@Krishanapanchaal1]

Same same same

[@mariadrinkstea2297]

same same

[@wakeupwithvictoria4816]

I feel you. I'm terrified my husband will finally have a breaking point

[@Krishanapanchaal1]

@@wakeupwithvictoria4816 we are soo psychotic for real... i hv insecurities about my bf evryday

[@ge-annsalapa6961]

Me too, girls how are your relationships?

[@adventureswithgeno8879]

My obsessive thoughts about my relationship are torturing me, but leaving her is the last thing I want to do because she’s the best partner I have ever been with. I’m holding onto hope

[@naibackwards22]

May I ask how do you feel now?

[@d1ss0nantBecca]

this is how I feel about my relationship also

[@adventureswithgeno8879]

@@naibackwards22 unfortuantely things didn't work out, but my mental health is improving now that i have time for myself. i realize that i wasn't ready for a relationship, and that's okay. relationships that don't work out help you to learn more about yourself

[@mpesposito6973]

I’m with you man. I know for me as a guy it’s tough cause usually I see more women dealing with it, but we can heal and move on 🤙🏼

[@thelife_ofkhushi]

@@adventureswithgeno8879 hey can you help me please

[@MadManEtv]

if you're watching this please stay strong. I didn't figure it out quick enough and I left my girlfriend when things were great leaving us both broken. Now I know what it is I refuse to put her through the pain again. she deserves to be happy. if you're still in a relationship, fight for it.

[@anis141]

How did you get through this?

[@aztecakidgames3672]

I will

[@terezafiserova2480]

I broke up w him too..

[@SNZhere]

How did u manage it???

[@shraddhapatnaik2585]

Thankyou so much, I love him so much, I'll fight for him always

[@ashleemcdaniel1523]

when you really think about it, it’s kinda hard not to laugh about it when you aren’t having the anxiety in the moment

[@mariadrinkstea2297]

bro after it goes away and i feel at ease again, looking back at what i was worried about actually does make me laugh. it's usually ridiculous shit that i can't deny matters more than anything in that moment

[@maungoakkar3929]

@@mariadrinkstea2297 how did u overcome it ?

[@mariadrinkstea2297]

@@maungoakkar3929 sometimes it really goes away over time. sometimes when I get frustrated, I just "follow the fear" which is basically where I try to think about what I most fear happening around the relationship. think about it till theres nothing left to think about. until you've thought through every aspect of the anxiety and make sure you dont turn away from any thoughts. explore them completely and just keep doing that over and over and you'll notice them not affect you as well. the thoughts are sometimes still there, but they dont bother you anymore. it really truly gets better. and remember, BECAUSE you are this worried about it, that's enough to tell you that you love them. people who really lose feelings will not feel guilty or concerned about it. it takes time

[@mariadrinkstea2297]

@@maungoakkar3929another thing - and I've noticed lots of people say this - it's possible that many of us have relationship OCD when we are settled with a truly good partner and our anxious brains cant accept that so we look for new problems to focus on so we create this one.

[@thetinyscientist9487]

YES WTF. I feel like I have multiple personalities with this disorder. It freaking sucks.

[@tendainjovu721]

Wow, I feel so normal... I'm actually tearing up ...🌸

[@hunnyfish7592]

Hey you got this!!!

[@meaganbastos]

Same!!

[@princewiseleemama]

I have explanation about myself

[@ALEXANDERSTOEV]

Beautifully said, I hope you're doing okay 3 years later

[@danibessette]

One thing that gives me comfort is knowing that...maybe this relationship isnt for me, or maybe it is. But even if its not the "right" relationship, that doesn't mean it has to end today or tomorrow. The whole point of dating is to get to know each other. It takes a while to really learn a new person. Sometimes you know within 6 months, but sometimes you may not break up for a couple years or more. Thats normal. You dont need to see the end result to enjoy the journey. True "security" doesn't come from knowing you will spend forever with someone. Security comes from taking care of yourself and knowing that if it doesn't work out, its not going to end your life. And who knows, maybe it will end up being absolutely fufilling. Also, if you are obsessing about a partner too much, maybe thats a good time to call a friend and talk about something else. Or explore a hobby. There are healthy ways to take your focus off your partner. If its not gonna work out, you will know in time. But in the meantime you can enjoy other things. Obsessing over the outcome isnt going to change the pace of the process.

[@idreamtadreamlastnight]

I have this. My therapist told me these thoughts are a form of OCD so it's nice to know I'm not going crazy. It's awful, they came out of nowhere, telling me "you don't love your partner" "you're lying to yourself" "you're fake and are hurting him by not breaking up with him". It's scary. OCD makes me doubt everything. We are long distance, have been together for a year (it's my first long-term relationship) and with covid my mental health has been awful. Every time I facetime him I feel safe, I know that I love him but when I'm alone, it's awful and the thoughts attack me. My therapist said that we are going to work on this and I really hope it will get better. Please, tell me it gets better. If I actually think of breaking up with him I feel awful and sad, so I know I shouldn't. I just want to be hugged by him. The rocd is very difficult to deal with...

[@filippavinkel4752]

Hey, are you doing better?

[@x3zeezeex3]

Please update us

[@caydenscribner2640]

How are you now?

[@Jasmine-th3tb]

Hi ! How have you been? How's everything going now?

[@ZODIACALMIGHTY_]

I know exactly what you going through. Always remember the truth and you have a choice. If you didn’t love him you wouldn’t be with him at all besides whatsthe endgame really. Always remember you have a choice and you don’t need him. That’s what love is not being with the because of need put purely want. My mind definitely does the exact thing you said it does but when I’m with my gf I feel the complete opposite. In fact my ocd is so bad that if I call my gf my girl my brain wants to say my wife 😂. But she is. Get the point

[@yeet-hc9ds]

you saying all the uncertainty exposing phrases made my heart just drop.. damn

[@ocdandanxiety]

Whoops! 🤪

[@jessgrenier1539]

Thank you so much for exploring the topic of ROCD. I've been with my partner for 3 years now. They are the best. Patient, loving ,caring and giving... I love them. I don't want to leave them. There are many hardships in life and I want to tackle them with this person by my side. But these doubts "Do i really love them?" "Am I lying to myself?" "I am a terrible person and taking advantage of this person"... They are horrible. They are sneaky and always come back. Learning about ROCD is life changing. Now i realise all those compulsions i've been doing and understand why they aren't helpful in the long time. "Seek uncertainty" really struck me. Thank you ❤

[@alourajane5702]

This may or may not have just saved my relationship. Thank you!

[@ocdandanxiety]

👍🏻😃

[@thesyrianrajiaswad2682]

@@ocdandanxiety How can I do ERP for obsessing over my partner's nose ?because I keep checking if it is nice nose or not

[@aspenx-qc3rm]

so proud of you!

[@jd15469]

Update?

[@alamp95]

I suffered with this years ago. It took me so long to find out I was suffering from OCD. I used to sleep just to avoid the anxiety and panic and suffering I felt when awake. SSRIs and working on my daily happiness and filling up my own cup really helped me, as well as exposure therapy as explained here. Now I don't suffer anymore. :)

[@marcus558]

Are you Fully healed?

[@brandifjoy]

That’s currently the boat I’m in, I just force myself to sleep as long as I possibly can do I’m not awake with my thoughts and so anxious I can’t do anything.

[@Gazonkie]

Hi there. How did the SSRI’s work for you? Did you find any negative side effects or any problems coming off them?

[@Smileysahana]

This man’s presence makes me feel so calm

[@chanelmartin1624]

i trust this man with my whole soul

[@ocdandanxiety]

That's a lot of pressure! 🤣

[@kattmora3550]

“Only text someone when you want too” That really was a 🤯 moment. Thanks for the video!

[@maverickmondala4845]

i hate how i’ve had meaningless relationships before and never had these thoughts. then i meet a boy that loves me and i actually love them and now there are times when i think these bad thoughts. like why him?! i finally meet a boy that really likes me and makes me feel good and i love him exactly the same. i just don’t want this to be the end of my first meaningful relationship 😢💔

[@ralu5784]

What is only this boy? Because you really love him end you don’t wanna get out of love for him. If you wanna get rid of it, agree with the thoughts, but in a funny way. Like: yeaaahhh you at right, saying in a sarcastic voice.

[@yana212]

Meee

[@marcelusdarcy]

Awakening Love has a video on this. It's because apparently we're not used to those kind of loving relationships due to trauma, parents being distant or watever, and so our brain is scared and doesn't know what to do with itself, and so just creates the conditions it already knows. Makes our relationships shittu because it is used to shitty relationships basically.

[@Hotgirlkamiko]

Omg I feel this!

[@jshaka3769]

@@marcelusdarcy your spot on marcelle

[@michelehaas5825]

My problem is that I have the feeling that everything I think and feel is real. I am convincing myself that I don't have rOCD and that my thoughts are real. I often think that it would be the right choice to break up but I always get this feeling of anxiety. Then I think, that I love him. But then I start to question it and think "maybe you're just too scared to break up, you don't want to hurt his feelings". I often am anxious and panicked and feel like I'm losing myself. I often think I don't love him and am completely numb, totally believing that I truly don't love him. But that will be later on followed up by anxiety. I can't feel very many positive emotions right now, I'm not even happy to see my friends anymore. Since I realised I was out of the honeymoon phase this started because of course the feelings have changed. And I've been questioning myself for over 1 month now and it hurts really badly. Sometimes I have moments of "realisation" where I don't feel any emotion and think "I don't love him anymore. I have to break up ". But shortly after I'm panicking again, falling into a hole of my thoughts etc. And I am crying a lot. It just feels so real, that I wouldn't love him anymore, even though there's no reason not to be anymore. Is that normal for rOCD?

[@celiacanchez]

100%

[@meringue3288]

Yes, thats one of the most common things in ocd, but the numbness feeling can also be caused by your attachment style (possibly dismissive-avoidant) but make sure to do ERP

[@akaunderdog4223]

Inform yourself. Check rocd reddit there are many with same issues...

[@michelehaas5825]

Thank you guys. Currently I'm in a phase where I sometimes have good days and I feel really happy. But I carry this anxious feeling in my chest most of the time because I think "We're probably not meant to be", "do I really love him", "should I really stay with him". It's so tough to go through questioning myself, I just want to feel the love again. There's nothing wrong in out relationship, in fact, he is the first person to really appreciate me and love me and I don't want to lose such a treasure. But I always get into those spirales of thoughts, mostly if I just stay with him because I'm scared to be lonely etc. all of you probably know the drill. But I'm fighting and I'm hoping to come out good, with him by my side. I'm currently trying to get a therapist and informing myself about rOCD through the videos of Awaken into love. Thanks for your responses, I hope you guys are doing great too, we'll make it hopefully

[@akaunderdog4223]

@@michelehaas5825 does he know? I mean your partner?

[@dragonkunia6798]

This destroyed my last relationship im glad that i found out about my ocd before i let it destroy my current one

[@Garf2004]

This video is insanely helpful. I've been racking my brain with intrusive thoughts lately so this video couldn't have come at a better time. My partner and I have been together for 4 years and we're very open with my mental health as I've suffered from anxiety for much longer than our relationship. She is so supportive and really helps me with progressing past it. Great video as always

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thanks so much for the kind words! It means a lot! Thanks for sharing your experience!😀

[@MaisiPounsberry]

This is me and I can’t believe it. Thank you so much. My anxiety goes wild the weekends after I see him, when I’m with him ok then I go home for the week and my head hurts with these thoughts it’s torture

[@eboy8526]

Same

[@ToneupwithTiffany]

Are you guys still together?

[@eboy8526]

@@ToneupwithTiffany u got rocd?

[@ToneupwithTiffany]

@@eboy8526 yes!

[@moonlites2028]

I'm so glad I found this video by chance, I thought I was just an awful person :( In past relationships I never knew why I would get so panicked and overwhelmed and always break things off after a short amount of time, I think this is probably why. Back then I thought I just didn't care about the other person enough. Now I'm in a relationship where I know for sure I love them but I keep getting all those intrusive thoughts like "Do they love me? Do i love them? I'll text them and if they text me back they don't hate me or I'll do this and if I do this it proves that I do love them" and stuff like that. It's so confusing and exhausting and sometimes. I'm glad there's actually a name for this and ways to deal with it.

[@Anaonfire]

One obsession stops, another comes :/ gonna save this video. Thank youm

[@Val-bd8ro]

You got this lovely just keep reminding yourself it’s not yours it’s anxiety,it can be hard sometimes but even try meditation.

[@Flawdaboishawn]

Yessssss!!

[@Lentilboots]

My partner has rocd and is nearly at the end of his guided ERP therapy just like the hierarchy you talk about! And he is doing so so well. We did a lot of those exposures and it really does work :) It's so helpful how I watched your first videos when I was trying to understand OCD and now that my partner is recovering, I can see how the process makes so much sense and is exactly what worked for him! There might be intrusive thoughts that come up for him, but now we know how to deal with them and not let the OCD bully win :)

[@gregbakerproductions]

hello I'm her partner and she is amazing and I don't think I would have recovered so quickly if it wasn't for her patience, her faith in me, and ... well, she's just wonderful

[@ocdandanxiety]

That's amazing! I'm so happy for you guys!

[@moroccanbabe7635]

Hi...can you please tell me the methods you follow to recover...I really need help!!

[@euloge280]

What type of Erp’s did he do

[@Lentilboots]

@@euloge280 So many things! It depends on the person's triggers and fears. We did ERP activities around kissing, the sound of my voice and my appearance. For example, I did no makeup or bad makeup or strong makeup.

[@Harz77]

So true, if I didn’t want it I’d leave. My ocd is making me come up with the bad things and filling me with doubt. The only reason why I’m doing this is because it’s good! What a relief.

[@emilycarter2446]

I feel like every time I broke up with somebody, I broke up with them when I wanted to. I didn’t sit there and ruminate about it for weeks and then stop eating.

[@Harz77]

@@emilycarter2446 so it was natural impulse? As in you were convinced it wasn’t right where as now you know it’s rocd because you keep thinking about it

[@hannahhillig9970]

I wanna cry, this explains so much. Thank you

[@thomasarnett8759]

Anyone else feel so relieved from ROCD during this video

[@slamedine]

Can't thank you enough for this. I've had small ROCD moments throughout my relationship of about 2 years, but this past week I've been overwhelmed with doubts day in and day out after having a conversation with a friend about my relationship. I've been looking everywhere for relief: outside advice, conversations with my partner, articles about how to know if you're doubts are legitimate concerns, but nothing seemed to work. I was able to tell myself that I love my boyfriend and want to be with him, but the thoughts didn't stop. I keep focusing on issues that happened in the past that have been fixed or addressed since then. Just knowing that there is a reason for my feelings in incredibly helpful. My boyfriend and I are currently long distance, which tends to make the doubts worse, but after watching this video I feel much better about dealing with how I'm feeling. Thank you!!!!!

[@BlackCat-W04]

I was very naive to think that I was the only one feeling the feelings I was. Thankful that I found this video!

[@lili-vn2en]

thank you for making this- so many people seem to make love out to be fluff and rainbows and “just knowing” they’re the one, when factually love and relationships are what you make them which is why (i believe) God gave you your EQ. THANK YOU!!!

[@nomoregunsinthevalley]

Yes yes yes yes. Oh my god. My ocd needs to always be about something: my health, work, platonic relationships, but romantic love is my big big big one there’s probably a dozen themes that accompany it. When I feel good about one aspect it jumps to another and another and another. I am SO done and have been on such a good path with the rest of my ocd but holy moley this is like my biggest boss battle out of all of them.

[@Itsalwaysdash]

Guys it’s hard it’s so hard the guilt and shame runs so deep due to these thoughts, I’m so glad there’s clarity of these feelings and there’s videos to help ERP is HARD!

[@bluerivers5053]

I’m so grateful for finding your channel. I hope I can find an OCD therapist as insightful as you.

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thanks for the kind words my friend! I'd look at iocdf.org -- they should be qualified! 😃

[@chloemcneill2151]

Thank you so much for this, i love my boyfriend with my whole heart but my thoughts get in the way, I used to get so upset thinking too much ‘have I made the right choice?’ ‘Omg I just look at another guy what does this mean!!??’ THANK YOU SOO MUCH!! Subscribed ❤️

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thanks so much! I hope you're doing well.

[@rezarizkiyanto4606]

DUDE YOU ARE AMAZING!!! THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT THIS ROCD IS CRAZY!!! I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW!!!

[@Annie-ix1jk]

Thank you so much for making this video, your voice is so calming. I have dealt with ROCD with all of my romantic relationships and is also forming again the third time around 😂. As you go through relationships it makes it easier and easier each time to recognize these spiraling cycles. The most annoying part of this is once you overcome one thought the OCD shoots an even harder one at you. The most important part which you hit right on the nose is not getting reassurance ESPECIALLY from your partner. I think a lot of ROCD comes from feelings of guilt, shame and judgement. This OCD theme is so intricate and diverse. By far the worst form of OCD I have experienced. But having a relationship is possible as long you continue work on it and I truly respect anyone who has had to go through this 👍👏👏

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I love hearing experiences from others. I hope you can find some relief soon! 🤗

[@Annie-ix1jk]

Thank you!

[@ToneupwithTiffany]

Are you still with your partner?

[@IanRippin]

You're amazing, best OCD video I ever saw. I feel like the" bully will run away", Naw, he always finds a other way to come back swinging harder.

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thanks! You’re too kind!

[@fedor6595]

God thanks so much I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am. It’s changed my life

[@gemmagill8552]

Thank you so much for this - it speaks to me on a level I’ve never seen on KZbin before - I nit pick about my partner constantly - not tall enough, voice can be irritating. The eye colour one ( as silly as it is) has become my focus over the last few weeks “I want my kids to have brown eyes and he has blue eyes, so maybe I won’t think my kids are cute because they won’t have the eye colour I want” It’s so ridiculous when you see that written down but when it’s just in your head it can be so upsetting. Thank you for creating this kind of content cause it does truly help people like me.

[@MrQuentini]

Heaaar this!

[@VanessaLjungdahl]

OMG! Thank you SO MUCH! This video may have changed my life! THANK YOU! *Watching this video while smiling out of happiness and relief*

[@ocdandanxiety]

I am so glad! I hope that you can get the treatment and recovery you deserve.

[@jessicautech9152]

THANK YOU - In Germany this kind of anxiety or OCD is not that known. You helped me with the sentence: when its connected with anxiety and overthinking it’s ROCD. And for me it feels Like that.

[@liljemark1]

Unfortunately OCD and ROCD is poorly understood everywhere! We just went to yet another couples therapist with my partner, and the therapist said "sounds like you just need to break up". I was like noooooo you clown, not another OCD ignorant therapist 😂

[@Cheyloveslexington]

I recently found out about ROCD through reddit. Some kind person linked a video to your channel as he suggested me to watch this if i feel uncertain about my relationship. I WAS IN TEARS... I relate to so many of these things and im so glad to hear that its probably from ROCD. Ive been feeling awful cause of these thoughts, i was able to let go for a long time but man... they are leaving me feeling depressed and anxious.. i will talk about this with my therapist and see what he can help me with.... Thank you so much for this video

[@tdavis85]

It's so great to find these videos on youtube and seethe comments of so many other people having felt the same as me. It makes getting over my ROCD worthwhile, thanks!

[@sarahconran4524]

The relief flowing through my brain after watching this video realising I’m not alone, thank you ❤️

[@tangerinescreen]

Great analogy about the bully! It's already making me feel less scared of my thoughts (for now...?)

[@Kaydenfs]

How have you been doing?

[@sm0g-810]

I never even knew this existed. I am sat in my bed at 4am as I watch this with tears streaming down my face. I went out with one of my best friends the other night and met his girlfriend for the first time. Its literally the first relationship he's been in so I was so happy for him. I got on with her really well but at odd points throughout the night I started to feel somewhat jealous. I went home feeling like this and started to feel like I didn't want to be with my partner anymore. I have started asking myself if this is true and I feel so uncertain about what I want. I am now finding myself thinking about flaws in her. These things are mostly to do with her attitude towards money and could be a problem in the long term but not so much in my present living circumstances. I plan to discuss these with her. I also find myself focusing a lot more on her figure in a negative light even though it has never bothered me that much before. I really hope this is OCD. I have had periods of OCD in my life before. This couldn't come at a worse time as I am going on holiday with her in 2 days.

[@mikaylamorrison6610]

I haven't made a comment on a youtube video maybe ever but I had to.... I have struggled with persistent ROCD for years and watching this video and practicing what he says to do has literally started to give me my life back. I saw this video two days ago and I have had the first two days of consistent mental peace and freedom to feel like myself that I've had in literal years. You are not alone and there is a way out of ROCD that doesn't involve leaving the person you love so much! This is a tool I will take with me forever, thank you

[@preludeine]

SO GOOD: "Who wants to come up with exposures that make them feel anxious on purpose? Hello."

[@ocdandanxiety]

Haha!

[@hannahmarie3161]

Your energy and kindness radiate in this video. Thank you for putting things in perspective. I will practice leaning into the things that make me anxious in my relationship and seeing what happens

[@SruthyS-cv1hc]

only today morning i find out about ROCD. i wake up everyday thinking "am i doing anything wrong... what if im faking.. what if i lose interest.. why i feel so uncomfortable when i and my partner having different opinion on anything.." always a voice is saying something to me in my head. and i almost lost trust on myself. BUT, watching these videos along with different comments i feel relieved. there is this comments saying" if u don't love Ur partner, u wouldn't have been here watching this video.." and i cried with happy tears while reading so many positive comments...whatever ur ocd says, dont listen. just fight for ur relationship.. dont give up on your self.. im fighting for my love... please, dont take immediate actions.. just go with the flow

[@brittanyhinkel972]

Thank you so much. I am in tears over this revelation. I feel less trapped and imprisoned by these horrific thoughts. I also love the bloopers at the end...it adds a relatable humanity and helps to relieve my own anxieties of imperfection.

[@milci0491]

It’s a relief to know that I am not alone, and that these intrusive thoughts don’t mean I need to breakup with my boyfriend. I’ve been suffering with symptoms of rocd (feeling like I don’t love him, or that I’m not attracted to him) for a few months. The thoughts are crippling. I wish I knew for sure if it is rocd or if I really have fallen out of love. Then I think about not being with him and I go into a panic. Sigh, I just feel so so depressed. When I talk to him I feel so guilty. I just want to cry all of the time. Thanks for your video, maybe I really should see a therapist. I don’t want to break up with him but will I have these thoughts forever?? I cannot imagine feeling this way forever :(

[@jasonkingston4750]

How do you feel now..

[@fayebolan9589]

@@jasonkingston4750 hope you're OK now, but I feel the same. So much guilt!

[@ansh4751]

I was in the same situation... I broke up with him 2 days ago... I feel better and relaxed but still not sure if it was the right decision... Was sad cried a lot today I'm feeling okay Maybe it was the right decision or i will regret it Only time will tell

[@milci0491]

@@ansh4751 @faye Bolan @jason Kingston Its been a year since I posted this comment and happy to report that I stuck with him through those feelings and over came them.. I realized its normal to fall in and out of love with your partner throughout the years, you just have to remember why you love them and focus on all of the good things! Eventually I stopped having the intrusive thoughts and I feel like im more in love than ever. If you are with a good person and believe the relationship is worth it..do not give up.. all relationships have ups and downs. it will not always be fairytale-like!

[@Rushdia-di5by]

​@@ansh4751how are you now?

[@sydneyproulx5174]

I’m pinning this for later super excited to get informed! I’ll revisit later tonight :) Thank you so much

[@ocdandanxiety]

I hope it can be helpful for you! 🙏🏻

[@Autumn-jz8bw]

This is THE biggest relief but that response prevention is extremely funny :)))) my ROCD will go crazy I love it 😂😂😂😂😂 you're absolutely amazing thank you so much!!!!

[@SWITCHXXXXBLADE]

Ohmygod so THATS what that is! I stumbled across an ROCD video that led me here and I'm so so grateful. Thank you for this amazing video, I feel so relieved and happy, like I can exhale and let it go. Much love to you and all 💗💗💗💗💗💗

[@krisbuko9034]

If your reading this, you got this. WE got this ❤️

[@christi4631]

Thank you so much for this. For a long time I thought thinking about every little thing I worry about would give me answers but overthinking is the worst I could do. It's like it feeds off of thinking.

[@HeliaAkbari]

2 mins in and i'm feeling sooo called out. I'm laughing hysterically.

[@libraboyfriend]

Thank you for the help ❤️ I feel very seen. I cried when you listed off all the thoughts in the beginning. I have them all. Thank you for pointing out to stop doing compulsive things to “love” them.

[@BrotherBadger123]

I have OCD and Man, it's a Complex Thing to Deal with. I don't Understand How the Doctors and Therapist have Figured it Out, but I'm Glad they have.

[@liljemark1]

So many good points for also the partner of someone living with ROCD! If only many more social workers were as knowledged about OCD as you are. Those out-of-the-blue "I love you" comments that happen so often that you wonder whqt's going on. Those times when you're relaxing after work and your partner who usually doesn't sit next to you wants to all of a sudden be next to you. It helps me to understand what might be the trigger. If course the comments and seeking closeness might be genuine, but when otherwise the behaviour suggests otherwise, it's pretty clear what's going on. The sad part is my partner is so fused with her ROCD that she denies to suffer from it but instead it's all the fault of my behaviour that we argue in the evenings and generallu have a hard time in the day-to-day life of our family.

[@julietamagnetto7357]

Thank you so much for this video. I´ve been suffering so so much the last couple of months due to my obsessive thinking, and I just can´t stop crying out of relief now that I´ve seen this.

[@radioactivebeverage]

omg thank you so much. i love my partner SO much, i'm super scared of letting them down or leaving them. i had constant fear that went like "but what if you don't love him? what if you cheat on him??? what if-" etc etc...i had to realize that the questions OCD tries to ask are not real questions and there are no real answers to them. i feel much better now, and i'm doing my best with controlling intrusive thoughts. helpful video, thanks! (:

[@radioactivebeverage]

hi! let’s get this straight. You don’t want to get rid of the thoughts! ocd is like this sadly. it will persist the more you want to get rid of its delusions. what helped me was some meditation/introspection and spending lots and lots of time with my partner. i also learned to sit with anxiety when it appeared out of the blue. remember that you don’t want to get rid of it, you have to welcome those thoughts. This will scare them and eventually, they leave. It’s common to experience higher anxiety when you cut out compulsions but it’s worth it. i recommend this phrase every now and then; “i don’t know, and i don’t need to know.” plus, endless self-love. and another tip: you don’t agree with thoughts. you just accept that you have them. guilt may appear. you don’t need to deal with it. It’s just the brain doing brain things! throwing stuff at you. ah, it’s useful to find the root of anxiety, because rocd usually has nothing to do with your partner, rather, you. i found that i lack self-trust and i had a fear or becoming someone I’m not. good luck on your recovery!

[@radioactivebeverage]

@stefania duicu yes, exactly. don't let something that is NOT real affect your moment with someone precious to you. (: seriously, it's gonna take a while but practicing mindfulness helps a lot. and it's a great skill to have. you can also touch them or identify stuff at the moment, like scents or what you are doing/saying right there. i like to imagine thoughts like buildings in a city. you come and go, but if you don't like one there's no need to burn it up. you can just leave the building and enter another.

[@radioactivebeverage]

you can reply to this comment anytime you need, i’ll be happy to help. best of luck to you

[@radioactivebeverage]

@stefania duicu hey :D yes, it happens. it's normal, I experience(d) it as well. i didn't get intrusive thoughts for a while but the anxiety/shame/guilt stayed. you have to expect it, honestly. when the feeling comes, you can be like yep. i saw that coming. aint no problem with that though. uncertainty freaks you out, but the thing is, you just never know. they can and will appear anytime, so always expect it! remember that recovery is not measured by the absence of fear, intrusive thoughts or anxiety. it's how you choose to live with it and react to them. if you haven't looked it up yet, i recommend watching Mark Freeman's videos on OCD. specifically a video called "How do you accept terrible thoughts?"

[@radioactivebeverage]

@stefania duicu it's very, very common! with ocd in general, shame and guilt keeps us in a spiral, often going "well i had this thought some time ago, and i keep getting them, i just don't deserve to be happy." when it's not the case. if you have a thought you don't like, that's not coming you. we are on autopilot for 90% of time, so it would be strange if you didn't get weird/distressing thoughts.

[@Lauraa.p212]

Thank you so so so much! I am in therapy for alomost 2 years now because of my OCD. I have a lot of different OCD types actually but ROCD wasnt the biggest problem. Now two years later it is. I am struggeling with it every single day 24/7 and now i found your video and i am so thankful for your explenation. I am thinking about buying your course as well. I cant believe that i see a therapist every week and that she never mentioned that way of treatment..like i know ERP we did similar things like writing down all the thoughts that make me anxious and that i have to sit with the uncomftarble feelings but it just got worse.. reaaally worse so we stopped it for a few weeks now...but that kind of ERP like answering to your thoughts in that different way that sounds very good to me. I will try your tips from the video for sure and i am really looking forward to that. Maybe thats the better way for me to go. It feels so good to know that specialists are out there who can help us. Thank you for your work 🙂

[@SilentFaces]

Thank you for this! I have the same thought processes (even now I'm overthinking if this is really what I have even though I agree with it 100%) you describe it in such a funny way that's it's nice to laugh even though the thought of leaving my comfort zone is scary.

[@whoisabdy3117]

I can't tell you how helpful these videos are, especially to those who can't afford therapy right now. Thank you so, so much. Sending love to you all ❤

[@malikthedruid5995]

Ive been so anxious around my gf because of this. It makes me not want to talk to her because of my anxiety, I just know if i leave ill regret it. I love her and i think she's perfect for me in every way. Im scared i don't appreciate her enough and i dont like her like i should

[@takeitmarie]

the way this was uploaded on my birthday and is the most relatable thing ive watched in a while

[@lokahmii]

I haven't been diagnosed yet but reading everyones comment gives me confirmation of what I've been going through. I just started seeing a new psychologist and just been scared to tell her what is really going on and the reason why I started therapy. It's more than just possible ROCD, I also think about my sexual orientation too. And other things as well. Im afraid to speak up about it because I'm scared to know the truth. (thats my anxiety talking). I wake up in the morning and afraid its going to happen all over again. Like If i dont cry it out or break out and have an episode, I wont have peace. This is the best relationship i've ever had and we're about to make 5 years on 8/25. I don't know when I started having these thoughts but I do know it worsen at the beginning of this year. I remembered that a tarot reader said "on your 3 relationship, you're going to late 4 years live together and then split up". That was years ago when I was a kid. Then suddenly that memory came back around the time my husband and I were about to make 4 years. And i've been having anxiety ever since. We made the 4 years and nothing happened. So then I started thinking " ok could be next months then or the following". Nothing happened. New years came along and realized that nothing happened and everything was going to be okay. Then came February where I started thinking the whole "is he the one for me? do i really love him? I should just leave. It's going to hurt to see him with someone else, I should just stay." It was replaying on my mind over and over until I broke down in front of him. (I'm sorry this is so long) We didn't know what was going on, he just thought that if I'd be happier to leave then he won't stop be from being happy. Fast forward, Ive been trying to work it out and then came JUNE. BAM!! everything hit me at once. My relationship, sexual orientation, violence, and thought someone was really doing some voodoo on me so I did prayer and cleansing work. Felt good after nothing thinking about it but then the next day felt like it was going to happen again. And that's how I've been feeling everyday. But knowing that this is normal and that I may have several OCD, I know I can get better.

[@pinklotus2716]

I’m a Licensed Counselor and the pandemic triggered some huge OCD for me in all areas including my relationship. My bf does a great job reassuring me all the time but I’m still so anxious. Ty for helping me to explore what is going on with me. I question if he loves me all the time, I always have an urge to just run away because this relationship is dragging up so much unhealed trauma it is triggering ROCD. We have discussed marriage and now the ROCD is super high. So many intrusive thoughts 😩. Ty for great content, I’m understanding what I should try to overcome this!

[@anubhutigupta9541]

I got a lot of relationship doubts even after being with the best man. I thought I'm the problem. But then my thoughts gradually started shifting to a lot of irrational thoughts, so much so that they made me extremely anxious and I had to start taking medicines. I couldn't understand what was happening to me. It was only after 8 therapy sessions, my OCD was diagnosed. And now, everything makes sense. I am gonna be starting treatment plan with my psychiatrist as well as psychologist. Hoping to see positive results ✌

[@souvikdutta6091]

Now how are you and your relationship?

[@hukumongdu]

I think this is the best video on ROCD. Thank you so much

[@ocdandanxiety]

Wow. That means a lot! Thanks so much for your support! I hope to continue making them!😃

[@Ellie-MarieCadwallader]

In my current relationship i have had obsessive thoughts and terrible anxiety and i at first just said it was on my separation anxiety but looking into this i feel like i may have rocd, but the annoying thing about this is that i know where it came from. it came from my past relationship and i feel like a terrible gf to my new one because of these thoughts.

[@bbyghst]

Your examples made me laugh so hard, thank you for helping make light of something I struggle with extremely. Definitely going to try that out and see how much it changes(:

[@ocdandanxiety]

You got this!

[@nipurnmathur7395]

The comment section feels like home.❤️ So relieving

[@facuuu2809]

Yasss, tbh OCD doesn't help at all (and now that i'm in a relationship i get worried about it). I'm in a LDR btw so OCD makes things hard

[@arianafastier]

Thank you for the video! I've been struggling with rocd and anxiety for ages and this is very helpful, so thank you very much

[@ocdandanxiety]

I'm glad it was helpful! I wish you the best!

[@chanellemartin5463]

youre amazing nathan, thank you for these videos (saying youre amazing is me moving closer to the anxiety)

[@shawnbhagwandin6562]

Super helpful video I am going to start with ERP today, for people suffering from anxiety i noticed that taking magnesium glycinate really calms you down and makes you less anxious

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thanks for the information!

[@shawnbhagwandin6562]

OCD and Anxiety I think that my ROCD sometimes even tricks me into thinking that i dont have ROCD and that i actually dont love my partner is this normal?

[@ocdandanxiety]

@@shawnbhagwandin6562 Super common. One of the biggest fears for a lot of individuals is that they don't really have OCD and what they are thinking and feeling is real.

[@shawnbhagwandin6562]

OCD and Anxiety Thankyou for taking your time and replying again, I just realized that i asked out of need for reassurance i should work on that

[@ocdandanxiety]

@@shawnbhagwandin6562 Way to go recognizing this. This take a lot of work. Our goal is to live more uncertain and seek uncertainty.

[@noahcarl953]

Thank you for this video, I've know my girlfriend for about 2 months. I knew the very first time I saw her she was just different... in a good way. Her unit recently got activated (national guard) and ever since she left I've been having these feelings to the point of tears. I know I would do anything for her. But I question everything so much and hate it. I wish I could just enjoy knowing shes mine. This is one of the very few videos that has helped me. Thank you.

[@CR-hz1yp]

I have ROCD I feel this constant nagging and feeling that I should break up with my bf bc I thought this is the only solution but now hearing this video I teared up I’m so love him I do and that’s why I‘m seeking help because I don’t want to lose him I once stressed about not loving him and I kept/keep questioning my relationship and I thought he isn’t the one for me but he is I just need professional help..

[@ruteisabelmendes6706]

Here i am in your channel watching all your videos that dont apply to me and avoiding the ones that do like its none of my business... Im growing the courage to watch them, ok?😂

[@ocdandanxiety]

Haha. You'll get to it. That's what's important! You got this! 😃

[@radu6772]

reading the comments now I feel so relieved to find out that I'm not the only one going through this and my love was real and worth it all long and the rocd was lying to me

[@erikap.1785]

Thank you so much for this. It has comforted me immensely and I feel so much less alone.

[@ygproductions3590]

I recovered from hocd and it left me numb I could no longer feel happy or sad or even feel love it scares me because I have a girlfriend who I’m afraid to lose I don’t wanna lose her that would be the biggest mistake of my life I just wanna feel something I’m freaking out the emotional numbness caused me to have rocd

[@TheGambaGeek]

This is precisely what I needed. Thank you so much for putting your knowledge out there.

[@mccaylafleming3728]

Thank you so much for providing this info. I’ve struggled in my relationships for years and it’s nice to have a way to help myself daily.

[@zephthisatrip]

Never stop doing what you're doing!

[@ocdandanxiety]

Thanks so much my friend!

[@danaalbo2967]

Rocd killed my relationship. Now I’m in therapy and I understand a lot more about my behavior...perfectionism in relationships etc.... Ialso stopped with my compulsions. Yet now I feel ocd thoughts that I want him back

[@emilycarter2446]

Oh my goodness. I hope you’re doing okay. Keep on seeking help. I am on this path as well.

[@erinashlee2690]

This is speaking to my soul

[@linneasilfverberg]

Nathan! Thanks to your videos I figured out what these thoughts were and I'm now in therapy and I've been diagnosed with OCD. Thank you so much for this information

[@terg1656]

Thanks for the video. I'm not talking about the information mostly, but the relief. I want to use the information in the future but I cant handle this anxiety anymore.

[@brilliantwriter4856]

The lock screen on the phone. Hahaha love the humor 🤣

[@ocdandanxiety]

haha! 👍🏻

[@sophiajan6642]

Omg thank you so much. I figured out I had ROCD watching your videos, now it all makes so much more sense. I really like the tone with which you advise us to address our ROCD, made me laugh. Thank you for your help

[@flstrading]

Thanks

[@stephanieross385]

Literally just watching this has made me feel better, thank you.

[@JordanLinnLife]

Yes!!!!! I hate my relationship OCD. I hate uncertainty. Our wedding is coming up (we’ve had a lot of stress and setbacks due to covid) and my brain is just constantly like “is he the one?! Am I making a mistake?! I want to make sure we stay together forever?! Is the fact this certain things happened a sign that we aren’t meant to be?!” Things I’m anxious about tent to rotate about every three weeks and this ROCD is definitely on the rotation. And it is KILLING ME! So, this video has helped a lot. I’ll try writing down the “perceived threats” and stepping up to the anxiety!

[@laurablumer4598]

hope youre okay :)

[@EmmaLouiseShepherd93]

For me, mine is triggered by permanence, but after seeing an amazing therapist and life coach, she helped me to take the fear out of permanace and it's been life changing!

[@francine6567]

@@EmmaLouiseShepherd93 hey may I ask how your therapist helped take the fear out of permanence? This is one of my fears too and feeling trapped yet wanting to want to be close as i usually do like that and hate feeling this way!

[@ToneupwithTiffany]

Did you guys get married? And how are you doing now?

[@dharesadaniel3839]

Thank God for this video. I've been going through turmoil regarding this, and just broke up with my bf because of it... I literally relate to this so much its crazyy

[@MsMusicalBeans]

You explain so clearly and simply. Thank you for your videos.