ode to lost souls. [surrealism #8]

empire of the heart.
•Watch in 1080p.•
oof; this one. this one is going to be hard to explain.
[the previous surrealism videos can be found here:
• #surrealism (by KiwiiC... ]
"you're gonna have to make it a killing shot." ; inspired by the story of william tell, who was made to shoot an apple off his son's head with one arrow, else his son would be executed. his shot was successful, but he had saved another arrow just in case, ready to kill his son himself if he were to fail.
i heard about this story and it caught me off guard, and reminded me of what terrifying lengths one can go to for a loved one.
(im going to sound like such a queer millennial but it also made me think of finger guns)
which brings me to my numerous other questions, and to the video; though it's not really how this one started.
"ode to lost souls" is the third video of a series i've been working on, the first one being "dance of souls," followed by "ode to flames."
( • dance of souls. [BTS] ; • yoonkook | ode to flam... )
i've written so much poetry about all of this that there is no real end to it, nor an actual start... it's just a discontinuous fragment of my messy mind brought to some extent of materiality, like a few impulses of colour.
i kind of wanted to show that i may have a different perspective on love, not necessary the one that society expects, and it's a bit confusing, but i wanted to use the song "winter" to show the oxymoron of the way i see the warmth that other perceive in love but that i can lack of. i have no idea if this makes sense and i'm too tired to go over what i've just written, at this point i'm just trying to gather all of my messy notes into one description,,, ah.
metaphors of birds, mere mentions of icarus, archery and paradoxical choices, dissociation, blocking some noise and words, overcoming intrusive and self-destructive thoughts.
there are probably a few mistakes in this, and it's not completely as,,, accurate (?) as i would like it to be, but it almost ended up in the lost corners of my software, so i'm proud i finished it.
definitely not my best, and some choices i made are up for debate, and i'll probably regret some of them the minute i publish this. but. let's shoot my shot, am i right?
maybe next time
harry and hermione, as well as bellamy and clarke, are the slow burns that i wish i could /have/
this video has been so hard to make, and with all the things i've come to understand, it somehow made it ever harder to edit harry and hermione again? i love them so, so much, but hell... they hit so close to home.
i feel like i've been coming out a lot in my recent videos, so i might as well address the elephant in the room and say that this is a very singular and partial tribute to me belonging somewhere in the ace spectrum.
this might be my last video edit in a long while? i'm going to study abroad in london next year, and i'll try to focus more on my writing... i'm always available on twitter if some of you are willing to discuss existential crisis and capitalism destruction; take care ☼
(give me wings; you dream about it, but what if you've already had it)
#FanvidFeed #KiwiiChann #MultiFandom
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○Twitter: / spideysguk
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Fandoms: to the infinite prospect of aspec[t]s
Music: end of the video
Colouring: mine
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[@carolina18222]

it's the way you see the world what amazes me the most, you're a poet even when you edit, when you take pictures, when you explain your feelings and expose your fears, you are what the definition of "art" and "artist" should be. i'm so in love with you...in the most poetic sense, you are love yourself and this is your legacy. "harry and hermione, as well as bellamy and clarke, are the slow burns that i wish i /could/ have" - you know how much i feel that...this is glorious. talking about the video itself, the parallels in here 0:48 - 0:54 are simply astonishing. i'd wish you luck in london but i know you don't need it. i'll be right there - as always - to witness it myself.

[@KiwiiChann]

you are the best and you make me feel so loved and appreciated; i'm genuinely grateful for your unconditional love and support for what i do, and for who i am and what i allow myself to show. you deserve all the happiness that this world can offer! i love you, thank you for being here, and i also wish you to have the best moments in france this year

[@charcharbug]

been watching you for 6+ years, and i just wanna say im happy you still got them Harry+Hermione clips

[@silenaxx]

I can't find words right now but I can't just leave without saying anything. I'll just let you know that you've moved me again, amazed me and got me to think about different perspectives. I'm grateful for that. Also I left a late comment on your previous (?) video, I guess I tried to explain my thoughts a bit more there. Nikan, you are an ARTIST (carolineblack's comment was perfect) and I am so proud of you. I feel like these words are enough for now because you should already know that I _love_ every one of your videos and this one too

[@CursebreakerYT]

I have seen this when you posted it but was not ready to put what I felt about this into words I love how you showed the relation between the head (rational thinking) and the heart (intuitive/emotive thinking) and then kept exploring this dualism, I am in absolute awe at this and I still can't exactly put all my thoughts into words so this will have to do but know this, I love your editing and the way your mind works and shows how love can be so _different_ to what is perceived in the mainstream...... _you need me? you left me_ I got *chills* this was so powerful and not only to mention that you used Bellarke, my heart just went out of my chest and is now on it's way to hug you thank you and never stop

[@vicu1904]

The queen is back!!

[@KiwiiChann]

you always spam me with the loveliest comments jfdkljfdj vickyyyy!!! thank you for your support that keeps transcending each and every one of my editing styles hhhh

[@shatteredoutburst8694]

C’est sublime ! Bon courage pour Londres et l’écriture ✨ Tes vidéos sont toujours magnifiques 🌟

[@KiwiiChann]

merci beaucoup!!! ça me fait super plaisir

[@vicu1904]

This will forever be a masterpiece for me🤍

[@vicu1904]

THIS IS BRILLIANT

[@vicu1904]

YES

[@vicu1904]

I think this one is my favorite

[@aliimagic]

also harmony. *ah* . I miss them

[@vicu1904]

I miss your videos!!

[@xchiwawaa]

It's so beautiful ! And one good story :3

[@KiwiiChann]

thank you so much!!!

[@xchiwawaa]

@@KiwiiChann Pas de problème, tu fait du bon travail ^-^

[@vicu1904]

Omfg i love it

[@aliimagic]

funnily enough I was just listening to this song and thought, hm why don’t I stalk nikan !? and, what is this????? This, this is fuckin ethereal!!!!!!