Oh Sh*t Moments

[@SpaceCase67]

"Bad news ( ) worse news ( ) but thats not important right now" needs to be a Cards Against Humanity Card.

[@EvaLuna175]

FWGESHBA- YES, PLEASE!! 😂😂😂

[@johnj.spurgin7037]

yes. yes, yes... yes.

[@nomoretwitterhandles]

"but don't worry about that right now" is way funnier imo. It implies that the only other option is worrying, which people often do.

[@thomasharrington1477]

it should be more like this "( ) also ( ) but that's not important"

[@demonprincess9680]

Yes. Just, YES

[@doctorsonic8097]

Man, Wade's toilets and Bob's fridge, now all we need is Mark's sink and we have the trifecta of broken appliances.

[@nyuudle5627]

Mark is a man with 5 OVENS

[@chalmersmathew4831]

let's be honest, Mark has broken his body enough times to compensate for that

[@parsanasirzadeh2733]

Marks ovens you mean

[@williamafton7067]

Your comment has the same amount of likes as there are comments

[@wolfofspades]

Nonono, OVENS

[@danilobarcelos7307]

Bob describing how he thoroughly destroyed that gas station bathroom had me dying of uncontrollable laughter. This is the best shit i've ever heard in a long while.

[@LaurenT3G]

I'd wager that it was a rather horrific experience and a violent sh*t for Bob, but yes, this episode was absolute gold

[@yeetantivenom8524]

See I have a soar throat and I can’t laugh so all of a sudden I’m in an uncontrollable laughter because of mark reading about the guy in Walmart.

[@GenesisPrime24882]

Ah I see what you did there.... It made me have to shit outside a closed baseball park

[@Venom-rr3lc]

I am a janitor and I have seen some things in restrooms before. So hearing Bob's story is something i could see happening.

[@KriegCommisar]

literally

[@missxfaith]

The part where Mark read out the Amazon review of those gummy bears had me sobbing because I was laughing so hard

[@shauryavardhanraju]

man, i laughed so hard...

[@skytheidiott]

Mark is the only one that has consistently caused me hurt myself from laughing so hard 🤣

[@Goobertonlll]

I smacked my head on the cement wall behind me in class laughing so hard I'm in pain but that moment was so worth it

[@rachels6808]

I’ve heard this warning that eating these in most any quantity (fistful or more) that your digestive track will remind you to read what you eat. Never really looked into it, but I kept it in my mind for forever. Now there is legitimate proof these biological weapons are very hazardous. If you are at a party that is full of douches, this is the perfect trap to reap them with. That and mixing skittles with m&m’s, but I’m not a monster.

[@johnj.spurgin7037]

that's not even one of the best ones!

[@chrisyoung9899]

Mark: I AM A MAN WITH 5 OVENS Wade: I AM A MAN WITH 5 TOILETS Bob: I AM A MAN WITH 99 PROBLEMS AND A BROKEN FRIDGE IS ONE

[@kartoonfanatic]

underrated comment

[@somersice]

This reminds me of the time I went to Disneyland with a friend. The moment I got out of the drivers seat my gut went. “HEY DUDE WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY” Upon realizing that it would take another 30mm to get IN to Disney I started looking for a toilet. They didn’t have anything, until I saw a line of portajohns in an empty lot, so I ran over, and discovered they were all locked. Behind the portajohns, was my only option, bushes. And that’s how I had diarrhea in a bush in the Happiest Place on Earth.

[@cyberpupplays]

Incredible

[@swanprincess49]

Hey,that's 100% on Disney. I would've had the forethought to realize that after a long ride some people are gonna need to poo or pee.

[@5AMUR-41]

Most parasitic place on Earth*

[@wasthatthebiteof8766]

omg

[@hollistinian2]

“And that’s the day my ass became Big Thunder Mountain.”

[@_GhostMiner]

*Bob: This meat smells weird. It might be spoiled.* *Bob's brain: **_NO, IT'S NOT! LET'S GO!!_*

[@kbassassin8308]

I see the Bob's Fridge reference and I tip my hat to you sir 😂

[@_GhostMiner]

@@kbassassin8308 thanks 😃👍

[@oddcrafter1270]

I just made the strangest spontaneous wheeze-laugh noise upon seeing this XD

[@SilentEmoGamerGurl94]

Lol, the fridge scenario for sure

[@TheLoneBit]

I was not expecting literal "Oh Shit" moments.

[@TheDangerNoodle]

I love how this episode was supposed to be “Oh shit” moments and turned into “Oh, shit” moments 10 minutes in

[@demonprincess9680]

Bob started it

[@vaporean_boylove.0w083]

@@demonprincess9680 I do enjoy a duke fail story xD

[@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072]

?

[@AngelWingsYT]

hence the name

[@Cyberknight189]

It was oh shitting to their shits

[@harleyboy426]

"Somebody might mistake me for some kind of masochist!" Says Mark as he's suffering some of the worst pain a human can go through and crawling on the ground back into bed instead of immediately calling the paramedics.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Yup. I won’t be surprised if Mark is actually a reject Cenobite from Hellraiser who got kicked out for being too into pain. Alongside Scorpius from Farscape.

[@wolfiemuse]

As a recovering opiate addict, I strongly relate to Bob’s issue of food poisoning. Heavily withdrawing from opiates is arguably as bad or worse than the worst experience of food poisoning you can think of. I also was on the interstate but was fortunately close to a big city. However my body was on a time clock with a date of arrival far earlier than I was prepared for. I had to also *very* carefully walk-run to to the gas station’s bathroom, and indeed my boxers were also done for. There was no saving them. I went back into the gas station, grabbed a small can of Axe spray. The cashier saw me going back to the bathroom and was like “Hey!” And I looked at her with the most severe expression and said “Trust me.” I had to both spray the bathroom and myself because there wasn’t enough cleaning that could have been done. I needed a “dangerous chemical” shower thing for myself. In all seriousness- Don’t do drugs, kids. Not only does it suck for you and everyone around you including family- you’ll poop yourself.

[@StaticOverTheRadio]

This story is a better deterrent for drugs than the entire “just say no” program we had when I was in school lmao Seriously tho props to you for being in recovery! addiction is a living hell to kick, you should be proud

[@Anonymous-73]

“Don’t do drugs you’ll die” Eh whatever “Don’t do drugs you’ll shit yourself” I swear to never do drugs in my mortal existence

[@Samisnotamused]

This was NOT the ideal episode to listen to while I was eating my pasta......still hilarious though xD

[@TheLoneBit]

They put a disclaimer at the end though.

[@phantom3128]

I had spaghetti and meatballs

[@fatboy_mike3456]

I was eating some pasta too while listening to this and I heavily regret it lmao

[@structurednonsense3532]

I was eating brownies 😆

[@denzterwastaken]

@@TheLoneBit YEAH TRUE 🤣🤣🤣

[@liamc9585]

This happened to me too, Bob. I was ten years old, camping with my mom and her new boyfriend, and suddenly had to take a shit, RIGHT THAT SECOND. But the only bathroom was a mile down a dirt path, so I got on my bike, and rode as fast as I could. But riding the bike only made me have to shit more. By the time I got to the bathroom lodge, it was coming out, I had no control of it. It was all over the floor, the toilet, the walls even. I was too embarrassed and scared so I just stayed in that bathroom stall until my mom's boyfriend eventually came to check on me like half an hour later, and that's pretty much how he solidified the relationship with my mom forever. If he could handle wiping up piles of human feces to clean up after a kid that wasn't even his, then he was a keeper. They're still married ten years later today.

[@puglord7947]

Feelsbadman

[@alex_bee_kind]

Thats so weird how this story took a wholesome turn at the end there 😅

[@Anonymous-73]

True love was found that day

[@_GhostMiner]

What place was it the only toilet was 1,6km away?

[@colt9836]

I went from "oh no, ewww" to "awww that's wholesome" within a couple of seconds.

[@samarisroman389]

I was hearing this when I was trying to sleep, but I just burst out laughing 😂

[@shauryavardhanraju]

lmao same

[@zacknight4564]

Yup doing this right now

[@ShredderOfficial]

I was doing homework and I couldn't focus cuz i couldnt stop laughing lmfao, morale of the story, poopoo funny

[@I_S_A022]

Me too 😭

[@hillarycourchaine6829]

Same, this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@tribblesfoxfolk]

Appropriately, I listened to this episode while in the bathroom. Proceeded to laugh so hard that I was crying, I almost woke my family up, and it cleared up a minor bout of constipation. (The toilet never saw it coming...) Everyone brought their A-game, including the comment section (y'all have some amazing stories, and I am sorry for laughing at your suffering). This episode has shot up to being one of my favorites, forming the Distractible Holy Trinity: Bob's Fridge, Oh Sh*t Moments, and Hold My Beer. Those are the three episodes that have made me cry with laughter, and I consider infinitely rewatchable. (And I can't decide on a favorite between the three because they're all uniquely amazing.)

[@hannahgriffith6031]

As someone who has cleaned bathrooms at a gas station, you tried to clean it. Bless you. I had a man who stole one of the little hand warmers that you crack to warm your gloves and he used it for something else in the bathroom and left the warmer on the floor with the other stuff he left behind. So you’re fucking fine.

[@angelserrano4212]

w..what did he use it for..WHAT DID HE USE IT FOR?!

[@hannahgriffith6031]

@@angelserrano4212 I think you might know, and just don’t want to think it.

[@bluverrii]

@@angelserrano4212 Warm his socks, of course! ... Right?

[@theabyss310]

*Oh no*

[@ihavenonamestilldonthaveon8970]

@@hannahgriffith6031 you poor soul.

[@j-red147]

Imagine Mark’s story but in reverse “You have a tumor, also your appendix is about to explode, don’t worry about that right now”

[@remixgamer6113]

"Congrats, it's a baby boy, also your families dead, don't worry about that right now."

[@Anonymous-73]

Not as funny

[@Jtheclown]

Saw someone say that should be a cards against humanity card they said it should go “( ) also ( ) but that’s not important right now”

[@demonprincess9680]

@@Jtheclown Get one of those blank cards and write it down because they're right

[@rockercaterrorencountered4924]

My dad had a similar experience to Mark with a doctor. He had just had a heart attack and they put stents in his heart. The nurse came in to check on him and was like "well since you're a diabetic we'll have to do this type of treatment plan with you". My dad did not know he was a diabetic prior to that moment. The nurse was very apologetic but like damn, what a way to find out you have a life-altering chronic illness

[@onyxguardian5122]

I was dying the entire time Bob was telling his literal “OH SHIT” story 🤣

[@oddcrafter1270]

He's an amazing storyteller XD

[@Diablo-xx9gx]

That part. Mark: WHAT?! WE HAD THIS CONVERSION BEFORE , ME AND WADE WERE HOW HOW HOW, AND YOU HAD THE ANSWER THE WHOLE TIME! That almost killed me. I love this series.

[@lazlolind]

This is my go to episode to listen to whenever I’m having a crap day. 🤣🤣🤣

[@kiryaleblanc7676]

This one and Bob's fridge

[@galladegamerletsplays]

was that pun intentional

[@Kennykenli]

Hehe…. Crap 😭😂

[@gun_violence_gaming]

Mine is king of meat tbh

[@DJdoppIer]

I grew up in a house where the toilet literally *_FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR_* into the crawlspace. Fortunately no one was sitting on it at the time of descent, but that 'shit' gave me nightmares for years. For context, the house was built in the 1940's, and the toilet was mounted to the floor between 2 support beams, with 2 much smaller wooden beams supporting the weight of the toilet. Over time, the smaller beams had apparently rotted / separated from the larger structural beams, and the only thing holding the main weight of the toilet was the old cast iron pipe beneath it. Over the course of a week, we noticed the floor around the toilet began to sink, and the toilet itself began leaning backwards towards the wall. We scheduled a plumber to take a look, but the night before the inspection it just......dropped through the floor (making a god-awful sound). Fortunately there was an dedicated emergency shutoff valve for the bathroom, so there was only minimal flooding to the crawlspace. The plumber said he had never seen anything like that before. I was 10 at the time, and I had a genuine fear of toilets for the longest time after that.

[@StaticOverTheRadio]

I don’t know why but I so badly want to see an indie horror game based off of this. The Descent Into Hell And it’s about a sinking toilet

[@Mmmsandwich]

“Begging god to kill me” HAD ME ROLLING 😭

[@mesharkyvibes]

I’m giggling so hard in class rn and I can’t help it, I look dumb rn but this is hands down the best podcast ever.

[@josephjtransport981]

Thanks you guys, you always manage to make my day brighter, it's an absolute pleasure and honour to grow up and watch each and every one of you

[@jasonmorris9820]

As soon as Mark mentioned intense pain it reminded me of the time I ended up in the emergency room after trying to take a crap at home. Found out my small bowel of my intestines had somehow wrapped itself into a knot essentially cutting off all throughput. I had to have an emergency small bowel resection that had never been attempted by this surgeon which involved spilling all of my insides to the outside to work on. Spent a week in the hospital recovering. Fun times.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Holy Moses… well, I hope you’re ok now!!

[@jasonmorris9820]

@@0_dearghealach_083 Definitely okay now, for the most part. Aside from the stomach full of scar tissue.

[@leoprzytuac3660]

Mark: I am a man who owns five ovens Wade: I am a man who owns five toilets

[@freedantheeternal]

I work at a truckstop. It has public bathrooms that we do checks on and any necessary cleanup every half-hour. Stuff like what Bob's talking about happens at least once a week.

[@Redbikemaster]

I'm a trucker. Bless you. You're doing God's work. Also there's nothing like having an experience like Bob but you have to worry about operating an 80,000 pound truck. I haven't yet messed underwear but I've come very close.

[@legendaryshark5655]

I was listening to this again and it started at 41:55 with "and the roads were powered by horse poop". Distractible out of context may just be one of my favourite things to hear

[@Rakkun_Streak]

Something tells me that Mark THE MASOCHIST, would totally ignore a pain that would cripple people and make them call an Ambulance right away (if they have the money for it) just to see if he could handle it

[@angelserrano4212]

i have a feeling that he would actually do that

[@SpikeTheLucario]

What if next time Mark has some sort of intestinal issue, he turns it into a challenge video where he tries to get through the pain as long as he can before going to a hospital?

[@rachels6808]

Found a great place to share this story, finally! Way back when, I was about 8 or 9 years old, my three older siblings, myself, and my father were driving around the highway. It’s a rural area, the city is in the center of a ton of villes and there are many farms. To give you a picture, my city was big enough to be called a city, and had about 3 small main grocery stores located at different points in the town. Walmart the farthest, a Smith’s in the middle, and a Kent’s at the other end. (Also my school had a Tractor Day, which meant kids once every year in High School would drive their farm tractors to and from the school. No idea why. Very big into FFA). Now! We are driving around, I was in a particular stinky mood (lol!) and my oldest sister was driving. She was in High School and my dad was in the passenger seat doing whatever parents do when they trust a kid to drive their main mode of transportation. I was sitting in the far back, by myself. I had my brother and other sister in the seats in front of me. We were all getting along, I think, for the most part. Now, most should understand that certain water spots found beside the road is an opportunity. You drive through it, water splashes, like water famously does. Now. My sister found one. Remember this is a highway and this is through the middle of sparse homes and farmlands. This was no ordinary pool of water. Going about 50-55mph, she drove through what essentially we agreed to be an immense waterfall of green! And the smell, dear Lord. It was not kind. It hit every single one of us immediately! Everyone was gagging and coughing and whatever laughter they had was choked out by the smell of manure!! Except for me. I was watching chaos unfold before my eyes and I enjoyed it! I physically could not breath, the stench and my laughing and coughing was so bad I was just sitting there with my mouth open silently and my eyes watering! My siblings were dry heaving, my father was having the worst day of his life! He was opening and closing windows, doing everything wrong!! I have no idea how the rest of that day went. I had laughed so hard I nearly passed out, I literally remember having tunnel vision. I have never had a time so hilarious to me, I still laugh when I think of it. It’s an infamous family story. And with those stories, there’s always a legend. I’m not sure it’s true myself, BUT my mother still says on a particularly hot day, you can still smell the remnants left behind. Sorry this was long. I needed someone to enjoy this. This episode was funny, and I’m glad I can share a good poop story with the rest of the commenters.

[@raptortodd]

This was great lol

[@NODnuke45]

I've had appendicitis as a kid and recently probably the worst food poisoning I've ever experienced in my life. I'm not sure about them being funny stories, but, there are some details that may be, and I will try to make them seem less dire. When I had appendicitis as a kid, the pain and burning was so bad as I was going to the hospital, I thought my internal organs might have been melting and I was afraid if anything touched my abdomen too hard it would turn my organs to slush. And during my recent food poisoning episode when I first started vomiting, I was kneeling as if my judgement was at hand in front of the almighty porcelain throne. So it started coming up like a multi wave tsunami, and at one point I needed a minute but my body was telling me more needs to go but in my mind I was like but I need to BREATHE! And my body was like "Oh well! Here comes more anyway!" And I was thinking welp, this is it, this is how I'm going to die, choking on my own vomit, as if it wasn't bad enough already, because my body is too stupid to understand breathing apparently, luckily, it obviously didn't end that way. Fast forward to a little while into getting down with the sickness after that, apparently my body decided my whole ass digestive system needed to be purged, out both ends, at the same time, so that is exactly what happened. So I was like "oh no, I need to vomit, but I also am pretty sure I'm about to have diarrhea, but I don't know what's coming first." And in my confusion, I tried finishing vomiting first, I thought that was done, so I got up from kneeling in front of the toilet and turned around to sit on the toilet. But as it turned out it WASN'T done, so I just ended up spewing like a god damn sprinkler all over my bathroom while I got up and was turning around to sit on the toilet. And I'm sitting there on the toilet just thinking to myself, as my ass is exploding into my toilet, "well at least it's not crap" as I'm looking over the scene of my entire bathroom and myself covered in my own digestive fluids. Suffice it to say, it felt like a thoroughly dehumanizing experience at the time.

[@rachels6808]

@@NODnuke45 I am so sorry you had to nearly melt in the bathroom. That sounds horrifying! I pray to the poop gods they bless you with zero pain and a long life.

[@NODnuke45]

@@rachels6808 Thank you lol. The good news is I recovered relatively quickly after sleeping for two days, straight, and after that I drank water, and now I'm fine. I tried to make the story as amusing as possible so it didn't sound all doom and gloom but I'm not sure how effective I was at making it come off that way. lol

[@skytheidiott]

God, that gummy bear tangent had me rolling xD Mark is the only one that has consistently caused me hurt myself from laughing so hard 🤣

[@oculusveritas352]

I felt the story Wade explained i drank a good amount of apple juice and the noises my stoamche made were ungodly and the way it came out I swear was on level of a power washer set to high and was nonstop for about 5 to 8 minutes and trust me there were tears and tiny whimpers to God to make it stop... I never drank that much apple juice again... Good show guys absolutely love the pod and know I'll be binging it all day!!!q

[@wyattclove5524]

Ok so I'm currently in tears listening to Bob's story I'm gonna die if it still gets better from here

[@HappyMatt12345]

There's something uniquely enjoyable about cleverly worded amazon reviews, especially if they're negative ones XD

[@tootbender6935]

"The sound of war in that bathroom stall-" Fucking killed me lmao

[@artsyaeollaaria5821]

This is my favorite episode ever. 😂 I doubled over because I was laughing so hard

[@spencermccombs1044]

Them talking about uncontrollable explosive diarrhea reminded me of this time in my freshman year of high school... I had eaten Carne Asada marinated in Bunster's Shit the Bed hot sauce. I went to bed feeling great. When I woke up, I realized my alarm didn't go off. I was running behind for my zero hour band practice (I had a cool symphony teacher, shout out to Mr. Mendell) so I ate breakfast really fast and ran out the door, on the bus my stomach started to roll and rumble. I groaned on and off but dealt with it like a real man... by crying. Out loud. When someone questioned me, laughing, I looked up and let out an earth shattering fart. By the time we got to the school my butthole was puckered. I was screaming in my head for whatever God exists to purge the demons in my GI tract. What I created in the handicap stall of my school bathroom was a mire, a miasma, of pure lava feces. It was literally steaming, and it almost clogged the toilet, with only the shit. There wasn't enough toilet paper. I had to call my best buddy Quint, to grab me a roll of toilet paper from his house and toss it to me over the stall. (He lived across the street from the school). When he entered the bathroom, he queried me about my situation with the words... "what the fuck, it's literally ten degrees warmer and multiple swamps smellier than anything I've ever.." he proceeded to toss the toilet paper over and retch. Fear overcame me and I sobbed while cranking out the last of the terrible fecal matter out of my asshole. I walked into my band practice with Quint sitting in a chair, gobsmacked. My bandmates looked at me and whispered "what happened". I explained the situation and one by one, they went into the bathroom, smelled the remainder, and retched. I felt better, and I knew in my heart I was cleaner than ever. I have since been diagnosed with IBS and have to watch what I eat. I have had three experiences like the one described above, one ending with me fully shitting myself after a particularly stressful GTFO match

[@fugoo8912]

Marks pain story hits so directly close to home, Jesus. I preface this with every night I watch my grandma since she’s old and shouldn’t be alone and drive back home every morning. So, I’m at her place and midnight rolls around and I get this crippling pain in my stomach that absolutely won’t let up. I do the same shit as him… go to the bathroom, try to sleep it off, and nothing works. Hours go by and it finally gets to the point where I realize I need the hospital. I start texting all of my family trying to get someone to come over and watch ol granny so I can leave because I’m absolutely refusing to leave until then. If she woke up and I wasn’t there she’d be terrified. Finally 10 minutes before an aide comes at 8am someone messages me and says they’re coming over so I immediately drive myself to the hospital. When I get there I get admitted for a kidney stone that won’t pass and have to have a stent put in me. Had to go under and everything. But on top of that when they were doing the procedure they also noticed something on my testicle. So when I wake up I get an ultrasound and the doc comes in and tells me I have a mass on my testicle and have to have it removed as well. Good news is without the crippling kidney stone pain I’d have probably not have noticed the mass. I even checked a few months before and didn’t notice anything. That was just oh shit after oh shit… crippling pain, praying for family to check a phone in the middle of the night, and then the constant bad news while admitted in the hospital. Super fun day two weeks ago. 😂

[@Wingingvoice]

This is by far the best episode *ever* I got to a point of laughter where I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to, and began wheezing so hard that tears started streaming from my eyes. If someone were to walk in and see and hear me *laughing* like this they’d quite possibly assume I was grieving the loss of a departed family member. I’m just grateful it was laughter and not shit

[@Linlinstellaluna]

The gummi bear section is at 21:28, but the actual story starts at 22:15 for yall who wanna cry laughing

[@faxydatboi]

Thanks I was having trouble finding that part

[@S3Xier]

Thank you!

[@Anonymous-73]

My gratitude upon thee

[@kayleenoelle9676]

Mark narrating the gummy bear review is certainly something I never thought I’d be fortunate enough to experience 😂 amazing

[@muranette835]

As someone with a very bad digestive system, what Bob experienced happens to me too damn frequently

[@victoriadipasquale1201]

I relate to ignoring the pain thing 😂 when I was 7, I burned my stomach with an iron and I was like I’m still going to my birthday party! I went to my birthday as my family thought she is fine, she isn’t really crying or anything. WELL. It was a 3rd degree burn and I had to be rushed immediately to urgent care because I broke down crying in the car 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@rascaligan8122]

There's a lot of great stuff in this episode but when mark said "when the world was run by horses" and "the streets were powered by horse poop" might be the best lol.

[@Nooo618]

This world is an absolute train wreck right now but there are some special moments when the planets align perfectly in this universe. One of these moments just happened while I was on a long drive back home. Just as I was already laughing my ass of at Bob's description of the expired meat, I drive past a store that has this store with a huge sign that says: "BOB'S MARKET - QUALITY MEATS". The pure irony of this situation has me dying of laughter so violently that I had to pull over on the side of this highway. There was white spots in my vision, my voice is hoarse af, and part of me actually thought I might die from suffocation because I could NOT breathe. But this... this was so worth it. I love this podcast so much, these guys are amazing.

[@roberthan5109]

Worst experience I had was when I was in elementary school, both my sister and my mother was using our bathrooms and I really had to go. After like ten minutes my mother finally shouted she was done, and as soon as I pulled my pants down I released everything. Toilet was closed and I was just standing. Crap was all over the floor. The best part was my sister a few minutes prior to this left the bathroom, but closed the door and kept the lights on for some reason. So it looked like she was still in it, and I was just standing outside this empty bathroom on the edge of ruining my pants and the carpet. All because she didn't tell me she left and left the bathroom like that.

[@merlenmsychicsocial]

OH SH#T

[@swanprincess49]

Been there done that

[@blaah9999]

I would have killed my sister lmao.

[@hamatamna]

i just want to say thank you, I just went through colonoscopy preparation which means a galon of what can only be described as "water that shits you" has been consumed by me and i've spend 2,5 hours violently shitthing and laughing about the podcast jokes. so THX for legit oh shit episode

[@Little-Birds-and-Camellias]

This episode made me laugh so damn hard when I was going through a really rough time in my life when it came out. So I just wanted to say thank you!

[@rockytopbob]

I had a moment kinda like Bob's. I ate 4 plates of the ultimate feast at Red Lobster, I was a hungry growing boy lol. Right after we went to Toys'R'Us. It hit. Stomach gurgling. I became a rumblin bumblin stumblin kid gunning it for the bathroom. It was so bad that when i went to sit down, it just went all over the wall....i wiped and walked out...just left it...

[@lemonywater2979]

Oh...my god....

[@zeldakdoes1722]

I can relate to Mark's story pretty well. I went a full week explaining away tingling in my legs, non-stop migrains, worstening instability/slurring, and, towards the end, the inability to keep both fluid and solids down. Finaly, I went to the ER where the doc was like "Well we don't know what's going on but, you have holes in your cerebellum. It looks like Swiss cheese."

[@atlassolid5946]

i feel like that's a bit beyond mark's story

[@0_dearghealach_083]

HOLES?!?! … chief. What.

[@coinstingray2309]

This is literally my favorite video you guys have done

[@thunderphilp9712]

Lixian thank you for doing any epic job....youre soo special for doing this

[@wavystormy]

I was eating while drinking apple juice during this episode. Thank you for the lovely warning given within the last 60 seconds of the episode.

[@alexistourand8058]

I died from laughter during this episode, so much so that I decided to go ahead and listen to EVERY EPISODE while I was travelling with my family to a ski hill, and even during our vacation there. They wound up asking me what the hell I was listening to, so I just told them that it was a comedy podcast

[@thecaremel4821]

"please prepare fresh underwear" the intros are so underrated

[@armiahaiyannamasapol3193]

This episode got me cry-laughing just listening to each stories, this is my favorite episode as of now

[@rolanslide8509]

the brushing off of awful pain that turned out to be life-threatening is unfortunately relatable

[@0_dearghealach_083]

I have never laughed at a podcast so hard in my goddamned life, you guys are frickin gems!!

[@michaelb.3006]

Omg so I got an ad saying “the most important relationship we have is” then I hit skip and bob says “body shakingly violent diarrhoea” 🤣🤣🤣

[@phantomrenegadegaming]

This is the second episode I’ve seen of this podcast, and as gross as it was, I was ROLLING with how much I was laughing! I was painting while I listened, and I kept having to fix minor mistakes as my hand would jiggle while I giggled. It was somehow hilarious. Much love to you all, and better luck next time in your unlucky shittiness. 😂

[@serenahart3876]

My gosh I was at work listening and struggled to keep myself from bursting that I left to the back and busted out. My coworkers ask if I was okay I just raised a hand saying yep I'm good. We've all been there

[@phantomrenegadegaming]

@@serenahart3876 😂

[@adogst6534]

I listened to this while eating chicken pot pie and have no regrets or any nauseous urges. I just laughed. Delightful

[@tenkora1]

"Why would apple juice hurt your stomach?" 2 gallons of apple juice is only roughly 78 apples..... Totally not overdosing on anything there....

[@asmodayblack2058]

Mark: I'm not a masochist, I don't enjoy pain- Also Mark: spends hours dealing with literal internal pain and crawling on the floor like a pet in a scene 🤣🤣🤣

[@kittypetjaguire8570]

My story in a nutshell: Me. Female. 29 years old. Born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type Two, aka the worst form of Brittle Bone Disease. Emergency C-Sectioned out of the womb one month early due to my birth-mom having extreme internal pain. Mother’s said internal pain caused by infant me who’s legs and arms were broken/shattered within her, and said fractured bone fragments were stabbing/tearing her up from the inside. Infant me was placed in a full body-cast until injuries were healed. Was adopted into a loving family that could afford all extensive medical bills that may occur. Spoiler alert. Many occurred. I have since broken my bones 300+ times and 48+ surgeries. Including a full Spinal Fusion, emergency Femoral Rod and Plate procedures, emergency neck operation of C-2, C-3, & C-4 after surviving a head-on collision with a drunk driver as I was leaving the hospital with my family on my 12th birthday, ovary removal, Chronic kidney stones with 4 passed thus far via surgical stent and lithotripsy blast with one being the size of a golf ball. Etcetera. Is currently writing this from a hospital bed after breaking T-12 of my spine. How? I sneezed. Thank you. *bows*

[@morganpartida6960]

At this point you should just take all your bones out and get a robot skeleton.

[@ultrachara2818]

Dear god, I hope you’re ok.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Holy Jesus. Well, I hope you have plenty of support and help. Godspeed. And please be safe.

[@blkdrgncap]

The absolute fear of having IBS where eating food away from home is like playing russian roulette with your gut.

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Maybe you should keep some Imodium tablets with you. Or somethin.

[@drakejohnston6956]

I’m actually suppose to be at school right now, but I’m not thanks to diarrhea. So thank you Wade, Mark, and Bob for making my day.

[@MajorCooke2]

Advice for Wade at 35:17 - Stay hydrated. Easiest way to avoid kidney stones. I learned my lesson the hard way.

[@baptisteramiro1918]

And avoid having too many energy drinks ...

[@PhoenixPrime]

Oh, gosh, all these stories about diarrhea and bad stomach problems remind me of something I went through 11 years ago.... I was in 8th grade, and my classmates and I were rehearsing for the musical Beauty And The Beast. Rehearsal was literally the afternoon before the first performance, and we were all excited. But as I was on my way to the auditorium for rehearsal, I started feeling really... bad. Queasy, uneasy, you name it. (I even remember leaning toward my friend like, "Man, I don't feel so good....") I tried to be a trooper and get through it, but halfway through rehearsal, I finally walked up to the director and said, "Hey, I need to get off-stage. I think I might be sick." Fortunately, she understood and let me sit down in the auditorium. Minutes later, my mom walked in, saw that I was sitting down, and quickly picked up on what was happening. So while my friends were finishing up with rehearsal, we tried to leave early. But all of a sudden, I felt my insides lurch, and I *immediately* knew I was gonna throw up. I ran to the nearest bathroom, only to find it was locked. Then I saw there was a garbage can right next to the auditorium door, and.... I threw up. In front of ALL my classmates. Right as THEY were leaving. All my friends looked at me and were all like, "Ooooh! Oh, man! Aw, GEEZ!" Of course, I didn't pay attention since I had my head stuck in a garbage can. So, needless to say, I wasn't in the first performance that night.... Luckily, I was well enough to make it 24 hours later, and everyone welcomed me back with open arms, so all was well in the end. :D PS: I blame the spaghetti I ate for lunch that day.

[@darkusincognito7690]

😂 I’m in literal tears. I involuntarily got out of my chair, laughing so hard

[@Spectre2552]

This episode had me dying of laughter. This is prime content

[@nanachibii5070]

I'm a huge fan of this podcast and listen to every episode as soon as they come out. i listen to them whenever i do something and want something to listen to. i click randomly on episodes to listen to while waiting for new episodes and by completely random chance i am now sitting here, listening to them talk about their fear of ever experiencing kidney stones. This video had been so funny to listen to when I, just a week ago, at the age of 21 got kidney stones for the first time.... I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE. IN FACT THE PAIN WAS SO BAD I WISHED FOR DEATH. I'm ok now but god I hope I NEVER have to experience that again

[@BristaBean]

FINALLY A PLACE I CAN SHARE MY MOST EMBARRASSING STORY! This happened LAST YEAR where my boyfriend’s parents were staying over at our house for two nights. We had just gone out to dinner and they decided to watch a movie in the living room. 30 minutes later I started feeling awful and went to the bathroom that’s right outside of the living room. I had the WORST diarrhea I’ve EVER HAD….and coincidentally my toilet just so happened to decide to FLOOD while I tried to flush it! As you can image…there was poopy water everywhere and of course I didn’t have any towels in the bathroom since they were in the dryer downstairs. Immediate panic attack realizing my boyfriends parents were outside the door watching a movie…SOOO I had to use what I could to stop it, empty the toilet a bit and then go downstairs and get towels and cleaning supplies. Literally was having a panic attack during all of this and super embarrassed 😳😩

[@AreEnTee]

😱😭

[@afrog69]

I was listening in history class. The part where Mark read the gummy bear review almost made me laugh as loud as I could in pure silence.

[@meganism8349]

Dude listening to this episode for the first time and I about cried hearing Mark and Bob saying if you have pain so bad you have to crawl go to the hospital? That's my monthly cycle experience without medicine. And no doctor has helped me so far beyond giving me BC. I WISH it had just been my organs exploding.

[@Conman0093]

I remember I worked in a warehouse in this small hardware store, though most of the work we did there was out in a fenced in yard that had all the gardening supplies. One hot and humid summer day my body decides to get this massive, hand trembling craving for jalapeño food for some reason. Against my better judgement I decided to indulge the craving and ordered jalapeño poppers and jalapeño cheese fries from a sandwich shop across the street to eat during my lunch break. After destroying my meal with no leftovers to spare, my sense of reason came back and said "hmm. I still have to work the rest of the day out in the hot sun after this...this might not go well." But I toughed it out and finished my shift ((which ended at 5:30 p.m.)) I came home and for the rest of my evening, everything was surprisingly uneventful and managed to enjoy my evening with no huge consequences. I had a few spicy poots here and there but not much more than that. I get to bed at about 10 p.m. that night and get to sleep. Have you ever slept and subconsciously felt your body trying to warn you of something seriously wrong? That's what I was experiencing, like the rolling thunder warning of the coming storm. I was still asleep but I could remember registering the pressure in my stomach increasing to dangerous levels, while scalding hot gas continued to ventilate from my rear end trying to buy my brain time to bring me back to consciousness so I could begin to evacuate the imminent meltdown. Until finally, at approximately 3 a.m.... "May God be with you all." Purge alarms begin to go off as I throw myself from my bedroom. My roommate is taking a shower in the upstairs bathroom so I damn near parkour my 6'4'' 250lbs+ fat ass down the stairs to the second bathroom in our house. Miraculously, I made it to the toilet in time to release the active napalm that had been stirring in my bowels, so hot I began to worry that flushing it down would cause our septic tank to ignite and blow us all to hell.

[@bluelfsuma]

I love how it goes from "Oh Shit" Moments to "Oh" Shit Moments.

[@lastsurvivingemothefox9797]

BALDEMORT. Literally my favorite narrator for anything, especially his custom storylines for warhammer40k

[@mavohq]

bob’s experience makes me think back to when i got food poisoning from my college cafeteria where in the middle of discussing a project with someone from my class i didn’t know, my intestines started to kill me and i had to run to my dorm across the street and absolutely demolished the community bathrooms. i actually started crying because the pain and spasms in my gut were so bad. didn’t make eye contact anyone as i walked out

[@sagebrighton6848]

Mark be glad you had a big warning sign about your appendix. My aunt was doing some work at her house in the states. Think she was sellling it or somthing and hers just bursted without warning. Think she said the only warning she got was like a period cramp

[@chaosindustry2279]

Is she alright at least?

[@anonamouse2052]

That actually happens a lot to uterus owners because we get used to the cramps and are taught it’s normal, so serious issues are overlooked as just another cramp

[@stephsaguudefan1753]

This is how bad periods are. That pain where Mark said he couldn't stand up? Yeah, some women get that every month from the time they're a preteen until they're in their 50s. I used to have that before I took birth control. I had to leave school some days.

[@kookspook6984]

@@stephsaguudefan1753felt this. I had to leave class early today and am currently curdled up in the bathroom floor listening to this podcast to distract me

[@JdaGamer12]

I was eating chocolate pudding while listening to this while grinding a game. I found it even funnier when they recommended you don't eat anything at the end of the episode

[@Lee0613]

the type of energy bob has in this episode i can't

[@annetheelf8174]

I would get flare ups of IBS when at work because of my anxiety and let me tell you, I would always genuinely feel like I was going to die if I didn’t get to a toilet right that second

[@thunderphilp9712]

Its sooo nice that you guys are doing this for us....thank you Everyone

[@lindaloreign9346]

My brother showed this to me today, and I couldn't be more grateful.

[@dylanapprovedfilms3202]

So, I was listening to this episode while playing Overwatch on my Playstation and I felt that I needed to share my experiences. I have lots of shit stories but there is one that still haunts my nightmares to this very day. Gather around kids as I tell you the tale of …”The Big Sick”. So to explain some things, I do not go to the bathroom in public. I refuse to. When I was in kindergarten, I took a poo in the upperclassmen rest room cuz we had library class and that was on the same floor. So I’m sitting there, just pooping away, swinging my legs back and forth as little 5 year olds do, and I hear these 2 kids come in. I don't think any of it. They take a B LINE to my stall and just look at me through the crack of the door, looking at me and smiling and laughing. I was terrified. I started to cry. lol They eventually leave and I hurry up and finish my business and run back to the library. I can still picture that scene happening as if it was recorded on video. So yeah, from then on, I’m terrified to go to the bathroom in public. It's a phobia now. One day, in 8th grade, I heard a demon rumbling in my stomach. I must’ve eaten something real bad the day before. Something just didn't agree with me. I tried to hold it in throughout the day and made it to 5th period, the period after lunch. If I didn't expel this monster from me, I 100% would’ve crapped myself. So I reluctantly raised my hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom. The teacher said yes. I get up and calmly walk out of the room and down the hallway towards the bathroom. My heart was pounding, my mind was racing. I was trying to tell myself to try and hold it in until I got home. I enter the bathroom and lock the door behind me. I knew this was a bad idea. I went to a chatholic school and locking doors was very frowned down upon but I have a feeling that if they put their ears to the door, they’d understand. Anyways, I’m pacing. I go to the sink and splash water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. My face is beet red. This was happening. I nod to myself and turn around and head to the stall. While walking, I’m SQUEEZING my cheeks together with the force of a dying star. I make it to the toilet, undo my pants and just stand there waiting for the wave of hell to pass. It does and I plop down on the toilet and unleashed a demon Lucifer himself would be scared of. It was as if my bootyhole was a hose and the shit was water. It just POURED out with EASE. As the faucet of shit went on, it started to get less watery and more..lumpy I guess. (sorry, this is disgusting). After 20 minutes of the fight of my life, I’m done. I wipe with the incredibly thin toilet paper, flush that demon down the toilet and wash my hands. I look at myself in the mirror and my face is drenched. It was as if I just got out of the shower. Cold sweat all over my P-A-L-E white face, I was so drained I felt that I was going to pass out. I open the window and let the air hit my face. I stand there for about 2 minutes. I then left the bathroom and shamefully head back to my classroom just expecting everyone to know what I did. THANK GOODNESS the teacher let the class have a free period for the rest of the class time. No one paid any attention to me except for one of my friends at the time. He asked me if I was okay and I said “yeah i'm fine.” The bell rings, everyone gets up and walks in the hallway and LITERALLY.. Literally…everyone gags, coughs, covers their face with their shirts. I released a poop SO HEINOUS it stunk up THE ENTIRE 2nd floor of the school. Everyone kept asking “what's that smell”, “what died” yada yada yada. One of the teachers eventually found the source (the bathroom), shut the door, locked it with the janitors keys, put an out of order sign on the door and opened all of the windows in the hall and each classroom. So before that day, I had a phobia of public bathrooms. For years I kept telling myself that MAYBE it was an irrational fear. After that event, I have confirmed that it indeed was not…

[@kristinaschierholz2869]

I think you are a very good host Bob you guys rock love all your stories listen every week

[@megafan1137]

Hilarious how Bob is such a good storyteller that he still steals the show even when he's not competing

[@helloworld4039]

I saw the title and expected something exponentially different but this also works

[@pensandshakers]

Between meatloaf and chunky coffee creamer, no one should allow Mark to feed himself.

[@sandkitten16]

That appendix story just reminded me of the night of my first gallbladder attack. Took the cat out to the litterbox and figured the slight pain was heartburn.....it then proceeded to worsen, and worsen, to the point where after only a couple of minutes downstairs I had come back up to my room stumbling. Tried searching for heartburn meds, gave up a few feet away from when I came in, begged my sister to find them for me while I tried laying down in the recliner.....immediately after taking the tums, i got up and bolted for the trash can, half of my stomach contents made it while the other didn't and I puked so hard I ended up having to change my friggin pants. I have never been in that much pain before and thought, at the time, that I was straight up dying, so did sis, so she gets dad and once I could stand again he took me to the ER. This was all in a span of MAYBE just 20 minutes, they gave me crap for it once I was there because at that point it was so blatantly obvious that I couldn't fake that crap, soon after that they had an ultrasound going to see what the issue was and told me what it was. I had no idea gallbladders could have stones, hell I forgot they existed. Never. Again. I had it removed as soon as I could, recovery SUCKED but its better than having that level of pain hit ever again. It had gone from 1 to 10 in about 5 minutes, then endured for the rest of that friggin morning....lovely way to wake people up at 4-5 am.

[@jdprime]

I’ve been laughing psychotically at this for so long my suitemates probably think I’m insane 😭

[@TwilightKimvideos]

As someone who had to clean public restrooms and dressing rooms, which are almost equally as bad at times, at a thrift store, I can promise you, Bob, you are not the only one that has DESTROYED a bathroom. I even had to clean the ceiling a few times. I started walking 10 minutes up the street to use the restroom so I didn't have to deal with the PSTD of walking into the ladies' room to an absolute unspeakable catastrophe.

[@CleanUpNick]

this episode turned into Oh Shit Moments in the most literal way possible

[@scottletourneau4571]

I’m very glad this is the first one I’ve seen where Mark wins. Shitiest victory ever. Also, yum yum! What a podcast to eat breakfast to!

[@tecsinom]

Although I don't know why I kept listening to this episode (maybe I was expecting a change of topic that never came😂), but these podcasts are really enjoyable to listen to! Looking forward to the upcoming ones as well!

[@sarajohnson6855]

Guys, I work in healthcare and I've seen some doozies. I remember one particular patient where every day was Bob's food poisoning experience. Not only everyday, but sometimes multiple times a day. Seeing the stress and viseral fear this person had trying to make it to the toilet on time was one on the hardest things I have bore witness to as a caregiver. No matter what we did as care staff it would always end the same way. I would try to comfort this person the best I could while helping them clean up. In any rate, you guys are probably never going to see this. But I just discovered your podcast and I am laughing so deeply my sides hurt ❤️ Keep those personal stories with your comidec flares coming boys

[@DocteurSnow]

I've had kidney stones a few times and had to pee them out every time. It's like trying to pee out the sorcerer's stone from Harry Potter. Genuinely one of them most painful experiences of my life, I was like 16-17 when I got the first one. Second one hospitalized me, had to be gurney'd from the waiting room because I couldn't get up. But also first time I had morphine shot in my butt, that was interesting. Actually forgot about it until this video. What an experience. Hilarious video, loved the gummy bear review.

[@ConnanTheCivilized]

“Just give me the STOOONE!” - Lord Voldemort (to his wiener?)

[@0_dearghealach_083]

Pfpffftt!! Haaaa!

[@SuperSayainGoten]

This was the best dinner conversation I've listened to in my life! 🤣🤣🤣

[@UnfazedPhoenix]

I love Bob's shit story lmao 🤣 I just play it for a laugh when I'm down. Bob's stories are the best ones