On Cinderella (1950): From an Abused Kid Who Loved It | A Video Essay

[@quirkyblackenby]

Hey! I just have a few things I wanna address/say. 1. I’ve gotten a few comments talking about Walt Disney and I wanna be very clear. F*ck Walt Disney. Walt Disney worship is not welcome here. I like Disney movies because I grew up with them but they still have a lotta issues. Like so much anti-blackness and other forms of bigotry. So again, F*ck Walt Disney. 2. Cinderella kinda represents the stereotype of the perfect (abuse) survivor. She’s kind and caring despite how she has been treated. A lotta people (including me) don’t come out of years of abuse as kind as she is and that’s okay. I just felt that needed to be said since I have a lotta abuse survivors in my comments section. It's okay to not be like Cinderella. 3. My channel name is Quirky Black Enby (nonbinary) because those are important parts of my identity that will be discussed on this channel. If you don’t like that you are welcome to leave. Comments about why I would mention MY identity in MY video essay about MY personal relationship with a movie are not appreciated and will be deleted. 
 4. I appreciate all the people who have left thoughtful and kind comments. They are cherished. 5. If you like my content I do have a kofi you can donate to if you would like. Donations will help me create new videos and pay my bills lol. ko-fi.com/quirkyblackenby 6. I'm aware what gay meant in the 1950's. It was a joke. Do y'all actually think I think the Fairy Godmother is telling Cinderella to go kiss girls in a Disney movie from the ‘50s?!?

[@salvie777]

I cant believe people had a problem with your name.. If there was a youtuber that had a channel name like "nerdy white guy" or something NO ONE would even think about it. The people who call us triggered snowflakes are always the actual constantly triggered, constantly pressed snowflakes.... 😐😐 your name assured me this is 100% a safe place for queer folks and bipoc. I am always making sure i dont accidentally stubble into secretly (and overtly) transphobic and racist communities on here cuz god knows youtube is full of those

[@matthewbates9629]

I understand where your getting at here but given the time period this movie takes place in, it’s very easy to hide abuse I didn’t grow up with it I grew up with Lion King personally and saw first hand experience what narcissism , manipulation and gaslighting is all in one and yet it’s still one of my favorite Disney movies

[@quirkyblackenby]

@@salvie777 Yeah the name is definitely there to weed people out and single to other black queer people they're safe here.

[@quirkyblackenby]

@@matthewbates9629 is this about the second thing on the list? I just wanted to assure other abuse survivors it's okay to not be like Cinderella. I was talking about real survivors comparing themselves to her and how her kindness in the face of cruelty is upheld as how we should all be.

[@matthewbates9629]

I get it I think Disney should show more themes like this in their films to show kids reality

[@hebercluff1665]

I actually REALLY hate the idea people seem to have that "being rescued by others makes your weak". Being able to get friends who are willing to go through hell is an incredible skill. Owning other people's loyalty like that is a very remarkable thing, and it speaks of your character.

[@michellethiesen7972]

I love Cinderella she's a perfect example of what a cycle breaker is. She was abused her whole life and still managed to stay a good person. That's hard work. Really hard work. She is the perfect example of what it means to have inner strength. She's my favorite princess besides Rapunzel for the same reasons. I looked up to her a lot and still do.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I completely agree. Her kindness is definitely a strength that I admire and try to replicate.

[@goldendiamon]

@@quirkyblackenby No wonder my mom and sister recommended that movie to me,I will not sugarcoated by the world.I even cried the moment they ripped her dress,my eyes are watering at that scene...Being kind means you have the courage to not be tempted by people's dark sides,you see the negative behaviors of people maybe,the universe is making you aware,what people you shouldn't follow an example,so I will never understand why people call her weak

[@LahDeeDah7]

I always thought Cinderella was given a bad rep. She wasn't waiting for a man to save her, she was just doing her best to stay strong in her horrible situation. All she wanted was one good day where she wasn't a servant, where she can be around others and see a different place than the house she was stuck in. The song "so this is love" is her finally feeling affection from and towards another human being even though she knew she would probably never see him again. It's probably a feeling she rarely feels in her everyday life. And when she found out she had an opportunity to escape her situation she literally dropped everything, ignored her abusers, and started preparing to leave. She didn't need to keep it up to survive her situation so she stopped putting up with them immediately. And the fact that her opportunity was a prince meant that she would for sure be taken care of in her new life and would definitely not need to be a servant to anyone, which is the best possible situation she could have wished for, honestly.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Omg yes! All of this.

[@ryeryemaximoff4292]

omg. so this is love hits differently now. can't listen to it without crying now!

[@crazyducklady5500]

My gramma always says to me "It isn't about her finding the prince, it's about her finding better people."

[@CherryStudios2]

It's never made sense to me how people blame Cinderella for being in the situation she's in. Like... have you read a history book? She didn't have the option to just get a job and leave, and even if she did, she's only a teenager. It's not her fault she's abused, people!

[@cerulee]

The current year discourse around Cinderella is very victim blamey, like she's just supposed to girlboss her way out of abuse?

[@goldendiamon]

I even cried when they ripped her dress...I can't even imagine how to calm in that situations,so I will never understand why people call Cinderella weak .Strength isn't about brute

[@cerulee]

@@goldendiamon That scene and the scene in Beauty and the Beast when the Beast yells at Belle for not coming to dinner scared me when I was a kid. But while the scene in Beauty and the Beast is now kinda funny to me, because the Beast is clearly acting like a spoilt child, the stepsisters ripping Cinderella's dress apart disturbs me even more.

[@crisptomato9495]

“sHe ShOuLd JuSt MoVe OuT”

[@mynameisreallycool1]

I think that, despite Cinderella and the other Disney princesses being fictional, the way people talk about Disney princesses shows how they TRULY view and treat victims of child abuse. People like to claim that they are more understanding of abuse victims and preach, "Never blame a victim! They are not weak! It's never their faults!", but it doesn't seem that genuine when they describe fictional child abuse victims as "weak", "pathetic", "dumb", and "ditzy". What would they do if they had met a real nineteen year old girl who was trapped with an abusive family and was treated like a slave? Would they have those same opinions about her?

[@Anna-xh6fk]

Or how about some of us were children who learned though that movie that they were too ugly to be saved and that they’re not worthy of escaping an @busiv3 family, but sure ignore real criticism to say some bs

[@notmyname9191]

People who haven’t been abused don’t understand how movies like this absolutely make real victims feel validated. Number 1 because it’s accurate, abuse comes in many different ways and I feel like since she was never physically abused until the dress scene many forget she was abused her entire life. And secondly, when you say you want her to be more “badass” and she didn’t save herself you make thousands of kids think they should of done more. And blame actual victims. In reality it’s takes most kids YEARS even into adulthood to realize they were abused. And being aggressive and “badass” can make a horrible situation worse. It’s great to have a role model that teaches us to never lose spirit. And to never let the abuse of others change who we are deep down. I’m so glad you and others stand up and preach the real story of Cinderella. It’s really inspiring especially if you have been abused.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I didn’t realize my childhood was abusive until 21 years old.

[@chris7263]

I'd never thought about it before, but it's actually kinda poignant that it's the mice who get her out of the closet in the climax. Like, magic fairy godmothers and princes are also there and play an important role, but the friendships that she built and nurtured were also critical. It's like building a support network was how she "saved herself." It also says something hopeful about how much it matters to support friends who are being abused, even if it seems like you're too small to do any good.

[@quirkyblackenby]

That’s my favorite part as someone who really values my friends and friendships

[@-yumefroots-8244]

People always complain about how princesses like Cinderella or Rapunzel needed help to get out of their abusive situation, and I've always hated when people complained about that. Why are we sending young girls the message that they CANNOT receive any help at all when they need it? Yeah, picking yourself up and fighting on your own is fine too, but why is it bad to get help? It's tough to do things all by yourself sometimes, especially like leaving the situation that Cinderella was in, so why should we blame these princesses for getting the help they need?

[@quirkyblackenby]

I think Americans are so against asking for help it comes out in their critiques of these children’s movies.

[@rolarym_]

Honestly. It's as if they believe that human connection of any kind-romantic, friendly, or mentoring-is frivolous, and we all need to rely on ourselves. It's a sad way of thinking (and occasionally, borderline self-absorbed). Humans are social creatures. It is in our DNA to want to be with other people. And it's empowering to love someone or to ask for help. It's sad how the version of "self-empowerment" so many people have, excludes the relationships we have with other people

[@z2yn]

All those people who say that have never been in those situations before; they don't know what it's like to be wary of every move and change in your own home. The worst part is that it's difficult to explain to strangers, since abusers can appear so normal and kind.

[@goldendiamon]

@@rolarym_ People are too judgemental...Just because I like solitude,it doesn't mean I am cruel to people and that doesn't mean I don't ask for help,well I ask for help,as in life we are all never-ending learners...It just means I'm a confident introverted omnivert...I don't blame Cinderella when she was traumatized what her abusive stepfamily,and being kind doesn't mean weak...Being kind is strong because kind people know that war will only make your mind exhausted so they rather spend time on doing what they love instead of wasting time on toxic people

[@Venom-ll4ji]

I hate that everybody dislikes Cinderella’s attachment to the prince. He’s the first person in a long time to show her positive attention. If people are offended by this immediate dependence, then why don’t they put down Quasimodo’s affection for Esmerelda? It just seems like a gendered double standard to me.

[@animeotaku307]

Something else that gets missed is that she doesn’t know he’s the prince when they dance together. When she enters the ball she’s looking around at everything in awe. And when she has to go she says “and I haven’t even met the prince yet” as her excuse TO THE PRINCE. I’d like to think that’s what solidified his feelings for her. Sure, he was attracted to her and liked dancing with her. But to learn that she enjoyed being with him for who he was rather than his title was the point he decided “this is the one.”

[@Midoriventure]

@@animeotaku307 I love that part too. Though I think it was more the...confirmation? Fruition? Because earlier she wasn't paying attention to the Prince either, and that's why he sought her out. Then when she tries to leave, well, he wasn't wrong after all...and oh, now he's _fully_ interested. Also people who say they have no connection have forgotten that of the three OG princesses, they have the most*, because after dancing initially, they walked around together in the gardens and spent the next several hours until midnight one-on-one and presumably talking. That's more than what the other two films showed onscreen*. (*I say most showed onscreen because I actually have a theory that Snow White and Florian knew each other and maybe even already had a relationship when they meet at the wishing well. Their songs + some logic lines up too neatly for me to not think so. I can elaborate if wanted, but this comment's long enough.)

[@miriamwilson3561]

My stepdad was abusive when I was young. Screaming and throwing things. Cinderella gave me hope for the future. That, I too, could some get away. I needed that hope as a kid. And eventually I did. I will forever love this movie. I hate how much people misunderstand and misrepresent it.

[@goldendiamon]

I hate the fact that people assumed Cinderella like what that stepmother did...Being kind doesn't mean you tolerate the bad deeds of people...Remember,kind people don't wanna waste time on cruel people, don't you dare think they are weak, because they are not,they are rather saving their mind for peaceful important things they love to do than to waste time on people who don't even serve you

[@truthspeeker1]

While it is definitely important that we as people know there is no such thing as a perfect victim/survivor one thing about Cinderella I think people often forget is that her kindness isn't inherent, it's a deliberate choice. Everything she does every choice she makes is to resist the abuse of her step family. My favorite line in the film is all about her saying that she times her sleep just so to allow her an extra eleven minutes to sleep, to dream. She knows they can't take away her dreams so she works to make sure she can have more. To me it reads like her insistence on being kind is to help her maintain a sense of grounding and self when all her step family wants to do is break her spirit. She probably wouldn't admit it but she knows that Trimane and her daughters are rotten and she refuses to let that rub off on her as her own form of silent rebellion.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I totally get that and for a lotta survivors we don’t make that choice and that’s okay imo. I personally am a “do no harm but take no bullshit” survivor myself which means I’m not viewed as the nicest person and I’m okay with that. I just wanted other survivors to know it’s okay to not be Cinderella.

[@truthspeeker1]

@@quirkyblackenby Also wayyy too late to say it but your name rocks! It's part of the reason I clicked on the video in the first place. Don't let em' block your shine.

[@Midoriventure]

Oh, can I ask what line it is about the sleep? I can't remember anything about that (I used to watch it obsessively...), but I would love to know!

[@ladydatura2529]

My dads gf used to lock me in the basement or closet when people visited. That scene of the step mother locking away Ella just crushes me everytime.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s horrible.

[@vaughendustries]

Its funny how we Victim Blame characters like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, these classic princesses, for not being "strong" or being "unable to solve their own problems". Because something in our culture seems to lack sympathy for abuse victims, and write them off as 2 Dimensional. The idea that Cinderella was just Waiting for somebody biding her time, when in reality abused people aren't biding their time, they're surviving every day and its so exhausting, some days all you can do is survive, keep the peace, wish for tomorrow. Nobody gets on Little Orphan Annie for needing to be adopted, so why do they get on Cinderella for needing to get married?

[@MarchingArrow]

Truth! Just like they said in the video, it was meant to be 1800’s France in the time of Cinderella’s story. If you were a woman in 1800’s France and being treated poorly by your family, it was almost 100% guaranteed that your one and only way out of that was marriage.

[@danielasarmiento3101]

​@katieclark5774 it's actually worse in the original fairytale because in that one Snow white was 7 years old , imagine some poor seven year old having to run away from her home into the dark woods

[@thelivingdripunal2513]

I always felt that Cinderella gets way more criticism than she deserves and being a victim of abuse doesn't make a character weak or helpless, great essay

[@MeredithHagan]

Not only does the story itself take place in 1800s France, but the film itself was made during a time when women did not have financial freedom, and could not even open a bank account without a husband or father present. With or without narrative context, Cinderella is quite literally stuck where she is.

[@quirkyblackenby]

So many people don’t know this

[@boxbo7926]

You touched on this a little bit, but one of the reasons why a lot of other Cinderella adaptations don’t hit as hard is because they do the step mother wrong. In the 1050’s Disney version she is cruel, but calculated and subtle. She’s never out right mean to her, it’s always passive aggressive or intended to start conflict. It’s calculated and manipulative. Most other remakes are just the step mother calling Cinderella ugly pathetic and useless which does not pack as hard of a punch. Anyway thanks for shedding light on this topic!

[@sylver_drawer]

The subtlety is definitely what makes or breaks her. It settles within the child so much doubt and conflict, “Am I really being treated as badly as I think, or is it all in my head?”. You can feel that it doesn’t feel good nor right, but they also aren’t doing anything in comparison to treatment others have inflicted/gone through. It’s so easy to say how your sisters are hurting you when they’re constantly ordering you around, berating you, and harming you and things you consider a part of you. But it gets so complicated when it’s about someone who hasn’t technically done anything, yet has done so much without lifting a finger.

[@tuney7319]

Honestly seeing people call cinderella weak is insulting, when i was a child i went through so much abuse both physical and verbal, mostly from peers at school and family members (none of that came from my parents) and as a kid who loved disney princesses i always looked up to cinderella, how she survives her situation and ends up in a better life gave me hope that it could get better. And this weird girlboss feminism in which the only way for a woman to be strong is to repress her emotions is just wrong, you don’t cure sexism by invoking toxic masculinity, that’s not what feminism is even remotely about

[@Tea_Noire]

The way people talk about classic Disney movies, esp Cinderella and Snow White, always bothered me because of how victim-blamey the discourse was. Like I understand media literacy and nuance are skills that are dead nowadays, but I don't understand why so many people are willing to, and even borderline take pleasure in basically bullying two girls who were turned into slaves in their own home who just want to enjoy a night out of their hellhole of a town, or have an innocent fantasy of a prince sweeping them off their feet as a 14 YEAR OLD. Every woman doesn't need to be contributing to capitalism by girlbossing it up to be an icon, or even be considered as worthy by society. I always hated that take.

[@golfwang8084]

Cinderella has always reminded me of my Grandma, who most certainly suffered abuse and the “Cinderella effect.” She was adopted as a toddler in the 1930s by a wealthy family who already had three children. Her adopted father was allegedly kind, but not present due to working on ships. He would be gone for months at a time which meant she was with her adopted mother mostly, who treated her like garbage. Called her useless, ugly, embarrassing, forced her to do “servant” type things. But even through this abuse, my grandma became an amazing mother to my mom, and didn’t pass down the generational trauma. She was certainly not okay mentally, and I don’t want to paint the picture that people who grow up in this type of abuse turn out A-okay. She had severe ocd and often psychotic breakdowns, and had to be institutionalized for a bit. But she still never made my mom feel worthless, never insulted her that way. And she was an amazing grandma, one of the kindest souls I’ve never known. I miss her terribly. Thanks for making this video, it’s a very important subject.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I love hearing stories of people breaking the cycle. Gives me hope that I’ll be able to do the same when I have kids

[@greatwave2480]

I loved Cinderella as a kid but when Rapunzel released I was OBSESSED because it spoke so much to my sheltered, isolated and helicopter-ed childhood!

[@Eloraurora]

It's kind of weird how many reimaginings lose the "kindness wins friends that may help you later," part of Cinderella, when it's really a very old fairy-tale element that isn't restricted to princess stories at all. Plenty of "three brothers go out to seek their fortunes," tales have a similar throughline, where sharing your cloak with the old beggar or your food with the stray dog leads to future success, where being cruel sets you up for failure.

[@Jill-ih9dq]

Like the Beast’s curse in Beauty and the Beast.

[@Midoriventure]

Snow White has this theme too. It's a good lesson to have.

[@julieabraham3566]

The Rescuers, for me, was what Cinderella was for you. A little girl yearned for love and safety. She had pluck and faith, even when she was very frightened. She bravely reached out for help and she got it. I was a very fearful child with little reason to trust anyone. My rare moments of pluck and faith helped me find the help I needed.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I'm so happy to hear that. I hope you are doing well now.

[@arcie3716]

Cinderella and Snow White we’re both my favorite princesses when I was little so it sucks seeing people disrespecting them. They taught me the importance of love and kindness despite being in difficult situations

[@VesperOfRoses]

I'll admit, as an abuse survivor I looked up to Cinderella a lot. I saw her as a role model: not to be overly kind or supplicant to my abusers, but to keep up a positive attitude and not let the abuse turn me into a bitter person. Now that I'm out of that situation, I've realized how important that role model was for helping me be the person I am today.

[@naolucillerandom5280]

Cinderella wasn't a favorite of mine as a child, but I never understood the hate. So a young woman needed help to get out of an abusive situation? That's not abnormal or shameful. It's sad that people see it that way. Yeah, we can't all get a rich handsome guy to take us away from it, but support from friends and family goes a long way. I'm glad Cinderella (and her spiritual little sister Rapunzel) exists.

[@nickievison1134]

The scene where the step sisters tore her dress apart was utterly harrowing.

[@quirkyblackenby]

It’s so upsetting to watch😩

[@goldendiamon]

I even cried to that scene as a child my chest even aches in my feeling

[@himaja4307]

the fact that cinderella is not even her real name- her name is ella and she was named as cinderella coz she was always covered with cinders (ashes or dust coming from unclean firewood) because of how much her stepmom abused her into doing all the work in the house. it’s really sad

[@speedracer2008]

Honestly, how Cinderella remained a well-adjusted woman after all the abuse she took is nothing short of a miracle. Also, people who think Disney is just for kids clearly didn’t pay attention to the opening of Cinderella, where the narrator straight up tells us that Cinderella was abused and mistreated, not to mention we get to SEE it. That’s far from kids stuff right there. Cinderella is a more mature film than we give it credit for.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Agreed. I think as adults we can (and should) enjoy and learn from kid’s media

[@goldendiamon]

I even cried at the scene where they ripped her dress😢

[@PrincessMavenKittyDarkholme]

This

[@MikaelaCher]

I love Cinderella. As an abused kid myself too, her being kind and gentle DID help me maybe not escape, but it helped me know how to take control of the situation again, because if i acted kinder and didn't fight back as much, i at least had a foot to stand on against my abuser becuse they couldn't say i was rude or mean or fighting. She also showed me that kindness and sas are not mutually exclussive!!! A lot of people forget how sassy Cinderella could be in the movie, specially seen with how she interacts with Lucifer, fighting back against his evil deeds. She's not as sassy against her family because, for many of us, that's something we know can end up very badly!! I say this because i read the comment you made on her being the perfect survivor and while i agree with much of it Cinderella is pretty complex as a character

[@quirkyblackenby]

Yes, Cinderella is obviously a very complex character. I just saw a lotta comments praising her kindness in such a messed up situation and wanted others to know it’s okay if they didn’t come out of their abusive situations kind and lovely like her. Obviously there’s more to her than that but it is a huge part of her character.

[@samwallaceart288]

In a similar way I always really connected to Rapunzel in _Tangled._ Growing up raised to be a shut-in, scared of the outside world and of myself, and a people-pleaser, I was always living at a base level of being sad and waiting for everyone else to change my life for me. Eventually I realized my parents were the problem, not the outside world. Their bitterness had become my fear. So when I was old enough I moved out, and started choosing differently. Getting a full-time job and living alone, I learned to say "yes" to challenges, and I learned to say "no" to oversteps on my boundaries and mean it. And in doing this, for the first time in my life I became *angry.* There's so much good in the world if you bother to look for it, and finding it within yourself to give good back in return is _so easy._ All that doubt, was just simply because my parents *never bothered.* They were happy to leave me in stasis because change is "impossible and the world is unfair", when they absolutely had the time to parent me if they really wanted to--they just didn't, because parenting me would mean owning up to the things they were unable to own up to. And like Rapunzel, even then knowing all that, I still feel guilty for leaving them. By not being there for them to lean on they're withering into nothing, and it's entirely their own fault, but it falls to me to basically leave them to die. And I stand by that decision. The minute they decide to get better, they could, and quickly like I did. But they won't, because they don't want to. And I've learned not to help people who don't want to get better.

[@erinw4935]

Thank you for talking about this!! I've always hated the discourse surrounding Cinderella as a whole, choosing to discuss whether she's a "gaslight gatekeep girlboss" and whether her relationship with the prince is feminist enough. The story ISN'T ABOUT THE PRINCE. People complaining about him only being in it for a little bit, yeah, he's only in it for a littlw bit, cuz IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM. I also attached pretty hard to Cinderella as a child, and didn't understand why. I was very defensive of her, even as a child. Talking about her "sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar?" Like she had a CHOICE?!?! I still consider specifically the 1950 version one of the best at portraying "abuse goggles" on an abusive guardian. Other people look at your abuser and see just some guy, but from your vision, they are as terrifying as any evil fairy or monster. The only other movie I've seen get this close is Carrie, which is a literal horror film. Lol! This is a story about an abuse survivor. NOT about a girl and a prince falling in love. While that does happen, it's a glorified plot device, which is FINE. It's allowed to be a plot device, man! Lol. I also attached to Beauty and the Beast as a child, arguably even more. People see that as a movie about Stockholm Syndrome (which, please do your research, most experts aren't sure that's even a thing,) when it's about a girl whose been made to feel like an outcast, like there's something inherently wrong with her, who gets to run away to a world where she's accepted. That's an abuse victim's DREAM.

[@niemsalleh7224]

Agree!!👍🏻

[@daisyviluck7932]

Cinderella is interesting, not because she “put up” with abuse, but that in spite of the abuse she kept her honesty and integrity. It would have been understandable if she stole from her stepfamily, became sneaky or manipulative. She doesn’t do any of those things. She uses her talents to make little outfits for her mouse friends, she’s kind to animals, she doesn’t lose her socialization (which was the legacy of her biological mother). It’s implied in the earlier, folklore versions of the Cinderella story that this is what makes her worthy of the Fairy Godmother’s gifts (which in these versions become things like discernment and wisdom). The cartoon diverges from this because Folklore Godmother gives her some tasks to complete but Disney Godmother simply feels sorry for her. Also, the Prince doesn’t rescue Cinderella in the traditional sense. He knows nothing about her, not her name, not her living situation. He searches for her to find the woman with the other slipper. That’s it. It’s just fortunate that he can take her away poverty and abuse.

[@jacobhake342]

I completely agree with your statement about Cinderella needing help. I am so sick of hearing that this or that character is a 'toxic example of the damsel in distress trope' when they need help, but that is just not true! Everyone needs help from time to time, and no one seems to realize how toxic it is to shame women for needing help to escape situations outside their control!

[@PS-dm1dq]

That shame gets internalized pretty deeply when you grow up in abuse, and makes it that much harder to heal even years afterwards. It's really insidious how this nasty and poisonous attitude towards abuse victims (abused women in particular) gets passed off as some kind of progressive feminist narrative.

[@mfraye12]

It's also in Cinderella's case a testament to her character that she has so many willing to help her. She befriends the animals not only she is kind, but she also stands up to and defends them from their own villains (usually Lucifer).

[@zejewelzstanley]

People underestimate the importance of helping others in abusive situations. Lately it appears, as you said, that one is now expected to do things on one's own as a sign of strength and due to the fact that many dont want involve themselves or "stick their necks out" to help someone in an abusive situation. Many look away or the watch, curious because they themselves enjoy the drama as it unfolds while others feel as powerless as the victim and dont know how they can help. People these days arw left to feel like they have to fend for themselves, especially in abusive situations and there is a lot of victim shaming and accusations of "victim mentality" under obvious abusive circumstances that are ongoing, which ultimately causes one to feel alone and even more ostracized. It takes strength to remain kind in such circumstances and youre right, there are many who can't maintain kindness, at least on that level and carry with them the scars of those abuses that last a lifetime and take a lifetime to heal. What people dont realize is that we need each other and standing idly by and watching the abuse of others is just as bad as doing the abuse oneself. But also that has to be considered is that many people dont know how to help. Sometimes its a kind word, action, or prayer. Wnd for someone like Cinderella, its the little things that matter the most especially when it comes to abuse when kindness and compassion is rather rare.

[@madpoetsociety2917]

All of this. One of the reasons I liked disney princesses like Cinderella and also Ariel, is because the stories didn't engage in victim blaming. Cinderella was treated with empathy by those outside her family who learned of the abuse. Ariel's fascination with the outside world is encouraged and celebrated by her friends. Her father's violent reaction towards her leaves his own staff (Sebastian) horrified at the result of divulging the truth to his superior. If anything, it was one of the few escapes I had as a kid from my abusive home. Once again, thank you for the good insights.

[@kiwicress]

I love this analysis. People keep bagging on it for being “old fashioned”. There’s so much depth to it and the animation is beautiful!

[@julieabraham3566]

Too many people equate "old fashioned" with "old trash." In actuality, many things that are old never go out of fashion!

[@DawnDavidson]

The animation is stunning. I remember seeing it for the first time in the theater in the late 70’s or early 80’s. As a kid born in the early 60’s, I was most familiar with the ubiquitous cheaper, static backgrounds, and the repetitive soundtracks. I was gobsmacked by the SHADOWS as she walked up the long stairwell, and the thought that all of those were hand-animated frame by frame, rather than quickly produced and duplicated. This was long before CGI as well, and even before VHS. It was just such a contrast, and it made me really appreciate the “golden age of animation.” Thanks for this video pointing out the abuse narratives and how Cinderella is actually an empowering story in places, especially about how treating others with kindness, and keeping a positive outlook can really help to keep one going through dark days. Another video on The Cinderella Effect would be interesting, too.

[@zinganeatsr4011]

Can I just say; Cinderella’s voice actress did a gut wrenching performance

[@Manglelover776]

Cinderella was just a Story about a girl who had a terrible home life and wanted to have a night all to her self. The prince was just a extra piece that Cinderella just happened to pick up. It such a great story and I hate the reputation that It got. Also great video essay!

[@memyselfandi7782]

Facts

[@jonathanbowling2904]

So I'm a white male who group up watching this movie and I love it. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid too, my favorite characters were the mice, but I still liked Cindy. As an adult, I see how she had to restrain herself and had to survive in a bad situation. Lady Tremaine is a great villain. She doesn't have any magical powers like Jafar or Maleficent, but she wields power over Cinderella and it is scary. When she locks Cinderella in the tower, it traumatised me as a kid, and still creeps me out now.I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[@MomokoTuHarumaki]

The contrast between Cinderella and the Prince's home lives is so meaningful to me. The Prince is well loved by his father, who adores his son but can be a bit pushy. While Cinderella is treated as practically a servant and slave in her own home by her stepmother and stepsisters (although Anastasia does slowly become a kinder presence in sequels. Same can't be said about Drusilla.) It's truly meaningful to me that once Cinderella is able to free herself and her friends, she finds a home filled with love and kindness with the King and Prince. And I love that the Fairy Godmother was the gentle, motherly presence she needed to have that courage and hope to perservere.

[@eyreyereye]

i always loved cinderella -- it's about doing the best you can in the face of adversity and every time someone accuses cinderella of being "passive" or "just waiting around for a man to save her" i want to rip my hair out. she never even had the expectation of salvation; she, like many victims of abuse, only had the day to day of trying to exist without going out of her mind with grief and depression brought on by her situation. you even see brief moments of her trying to find humour or spots of light in her life as a coping mechanism, whether it's rolling her eyes at her step family's shenanigans behind their backs or mocking the clock that wakes her up every morning. she's a much more human character than modern critics of the movie give her credit for. not to say that there ISN'T things to criticize about pretty much any disney movie at this point, especially the classic ones, but people always find the dumbest things to pick on that only someone who hasn't seen the movie since they were five and barely remember it would say.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Yup. I just wish they would have criticisms about things that actually happened in the movie vs what they think happened in the movie.

[@louisa1854]

the whole crapping on cinderella and other other princesses that were legit being mistreated is such a slap in the face cos MORE OFTEN THAN NOT PEOPLE DO NEED HELP TO ESCAPE ABSIVE SITUATIONS !!!! so like when ppl throw dirt on snow white it's like ayoo she NEEDED the help of the woodsman, she needed the help of the dwarves, and the prince and happily ever after was a bonus. Cinderella was in no way just an airhead or as some people frame her "someone who just wanted a day off". She's sooo positive, and warm, and kind and such a beacon of hope to never let others let their hatred penetrate your heart and steal your hope, cos it's like ofc her abusers wanted her to be hopeless. I havent watched Cinderella in soo many years and i'm honestly more familiar with the live action which i ADORE but the fact that the intro you showed clearly has the narrator saying "Cinderella was ABSED, humiliated --" is legit so bold, wow. I can only imagine that Cinderella influenced the love of her life to put laws in place to make sure other little girls and children weren't put in the situation she was in, or mistreated. I definitely have to rewatch and tysm for this video.

[@4and20blackbirds]

absolute favorite line of the movie is when the duke is running after Cinderella and since nobody knew who she was or where she came from he shouts, “Mademoiselle! Señorita! Just a moment!” trying different languages because she won’t stop running. always makes me laugh way too hard. 😂

[@quirkyblackenby]

He was trying anything and everything😂

[@ERYN__]

I really liked Matilda growing up. My mom didn't. She thought Matilda was a brat. I was an only child, and I didn't quite understand she and I were both neglected. Our parents sucked into the TV every night. My dad eventually even asked me to hide certain mail and packages from my mom, DVDs. Side note I did really enjoy a lot of the movies and television, but that should not be the majority of "family time". She was smart from books, where I couldn't get homework help because there was no one to help me. As a grown-up, I realized this was a form of abuse, and I think my parents tried their best, but I love the loving family I married into. My new parents were literally a teacher and a librarian. I got siblings, and their partners are also my siblings! My new dad taught me to drive, and because they were empty nesters, they gave me the spare old car, to go off to college on my own with, that did turn into a pumpkin at the right time to figure out how to get rid of it.

[@OpticalSorcerer]

1950's Cinderella likely doesn't often outwardly express anger or irritation due to her stepmother being a passive-aggressive mother figure she's known for most of her life. In the 2015 version, she had a good homelife up until adulthood, explaining her innocence, hope and kindness. Even her stepmother admitted she despised her for being young, innocent, and good amidst her abuse, while Lady Tremaine wasn't able to do this when her first husband died. The envy is well-explained here.

[@quirkyblackenby]

I have not seen the 2015 version but that's an interesting chang to the story

[@OpticalSorcerer]

@@quirkyblackenby It's really glorious! The best Disney remake imo, as it gives Cinderella and the prince more screentime and development. The only drawback is that it's not a musical--but the actors sing "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" and "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" on the soundtrack.

[@Lollipop.er42]

I can’t believe I didn’t notice how heart wrenching Cinderella sounds when she’s begging in stepmother to let her out.

[@SarahJareth]

I like the fact that you brought up the importance of friends and community who are vital to getting out of abusive or hostile situations especially in LGBTQ communities where so many people were abused or threatened or cast out by unapproving family members and had to build an entire new family. People also forgot that Cinderella was abused at a very early age as a child with a mother who died a while ago and her father dying shortly after the introduction of the Tremaine family. Also the scene of the sister's destroying her dress is not only the attack on the friends she has made but destroying the last physically item of her late mother

[@lucindamobley5492]

Back in June I had a conversation with somebody I worked with about that kind of subject. It started off with him telling me that he saw a vehicle with gay pride insignias all over it driving up and down the street and asked if that wasn't the coolest thing. At first the only thing I said was that it just wasn't something I support because I didn't want to be rude to him, and I still don't. Then we started talking more and more and he told me that he had talked to his parents about him being gay and they weren't very happy about it. I don't think they would have turned abusive towards him for that, but I felt worried that at some point in the future a lot of anger would erupt between them. I remember shortly after when I went to my car for my break I remember praying for God to show him that He doesn't hate him, that He in fact loves him more than anything in this world and I balled my eyes out the whole time hoping that he would see that. God loves each and every one of us but christians have a bad reputation for bashing people who are gay and not all of us do.

[@Meela9088]

Wait I thought the dress was her stepsister’s scraps

[@sky0kast0]

It was built from her mother's dress as a base sometimes common because the human body is sometimes close between generations

[@nunusakura5643]

I am so happy you said this about Cinderella's dress and Cinderella in general. I was so angry as a child when that scene came up and still do. Her stepsisters and stepmother really did tried break her spirit and at that moment she really did felt that she lost hope. And it's not just Cinderella; Belle, Tiana, Ariel even Rapunzel had help from Eugene the entire movie to see lanterns and eventually get away from her gaslighting mother. This idea that women doing things all on their with no help is the only way that makes a woman strong annoys me.

[@Sproutgoodnight1161]

People always look through stories like these ignoring the effects abuse has on children but it can effect someone for the rest of their lives as children don't understand what's going on. I grew up messed up since I was about 5 or 6 I'm 19 and I'm still confused at some of the things that happened and how and why they happened. It's never the child's fault and children are often told it's their fault or God doesn't love them they're worthless and treated like us or Cinderella. We need to seek God's love and forgiveness always and accept our pasts but grow stronger everyday.

[@MadameMushroom]

What so many people who critize cjnderella don't get is that to get out of abuse, you need help. Sometimes you need help to realize ita abuse through outside connections. Sometimes you need help from authorities to get out safely. Sometkmes disappearing in the middle of the night isn't an option. And even if it was, then what? You'll need help to get money or shelter. Cinderella had help and all she wanted was to escape.

[@Nikitomate]

I think the only movie adaptation coming close to this is Ever After with Drew Barrymore. It always felt like a more nuanced and mature retelling for adults while also keeping the same crucial plot points and character traits in the figures. I really enjoyed this video essay, since it was well thought through and worded. Cinderella would not have had this cultural impact, if it had been the way people later made it out to be. The original movie really is a great piece of art. Also fun fact: the transformation scene was made by the first female animator at disney. She got a lot of hardship and hate by her male peers and only succeeded because her superior conspired with her to do the whole animation in secret and show it directly to Walt Disney himself.

[@hydromind5438]

In the Russian version, there isn’t even a prince. Cinderella is barred from going to church with her step sisters and stepmother. I like to envision that Cinderella in the Russian version ends up becoming a nun or working in the church somehow. With how dedicated she is to get to church and how kind she is, she’d fit in well there.

[@amethystimagination3332]

I think about this a lot since Cinderella was also my favourite princess growing up, and all the most common arguments are just victim blaming. As I got older and was able to put words to what I liked about her I realized how much I admired her resilience and that she’s a cycle breaker. It would be so easy for her to take her pain and inflict it on the mice, they’re small, weak and unwanted just like how she is perceived by her step family. But she doesn’t, she treats them kindly and takes it upon herself to give them the care protection she didn’t have. And when you think about it logistically what do the nay sayers expect her to do? She had zero resources in a time period where women only had one option, get married. Plus there’s real life inspirational women who worked on the film, the reason this movie is as pretty as it is is because of concept artist Mary Blair. Her influence is all over every single frame of the animation. She was constantly disrespected and bullied by her male coworkers and yet her beautiful colour palettes and set pieces still shine through. If you look up her concept art you can see that a lot of final shots are one for one with her works, that many concept ideas making their way into the final product is pretty uncommon especially from one artist. And personally I find that very inspiring, even if CInderella and Mary weren’t wielding swords.

[@aromaladyellie]

Ilene Woods' acting when the stepmother locks her door, honestly the whole time she is locked in there, reduces me to tears every time. Honestly it really is just such a good film.

[@Kathy-n7x]

It’s the same reason why I loved Tangled. They captured the narc mother perfectly

[@angrynoodletwentyfive6463]

In cinderella III they make an equally important point that is often overlooked in stories about abusive households and that is the fact that all children of the household are victims of the abuse including the Golden Child(ren) (ie. the step sisters) it's not just the Scapegoat, the abuse the scape goat suffers is just more obvious than that of the Golden Child. Whereas the Scape goat might be more directly emotionally and physically abused the Golden Child is abused in a less direct way a Golden child is often denied a sense of identity, forced to perform, and expected to succeed, they also might be used as a little mini therapist by the parents or forced to be the parents "best friend" at the expence of age appropriate relationships. Just because it doesn't have the traditional bells and whistles of abuse doesn't make it not abusive.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Ooo I never looked at it like that but you’re totally right

[@mimia.4810]

Thank you for this! People always claim Cinderella is anti-feminist, I simply don’t see how. Cinderella’s life is very relatable for a lot of people. It bothers me how she’s portrayed as weak, she’s actually pretty strong for maintaining positive and kind despite her toxic situation. I want to be like Cinderella 😭👏

[@mysryuza]

I never understand the mindset involving Cinderella being someone to be saved by the Prince, but the Prince, dancing with him, and getting married to him ended up being the outcome of her friends doing everything they could to support and help Cinderella and her own actions. Her friends helped and saved her, and she saved herself by getting to the Grand Duke in time and showing the spare glass slipper.

[@the_enby_geek]

fun fact: when Cinderella goes into her Stepmother's room, the shadow of the window panes looks like a prison cell

[@fablethewolf825]

Fun fact: Of the trio if OG Disney Princesses (the ones who Walt himself created, these being Snow White, Cinderella and Aroura), Cinderella was Walt's personal favorite because he, too, knew what it was like to work thankless jobs before making it big.

[@witchwemoon8538]

My 23 year old daughter sent me the link to your video. I love your take on Cinderella. I was also abused. The lesson my daughter wants me to learn is that it’s okay to rely on others. And honey you are cherished.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Aww I’m gonna cry. Thank you so much for being here.

[@1cornicon679]

the clips of her in her darkest moments sobbing rocketed me back to my teen years when i was in a similar situation, i even started tearing up. very powerful video, thank you for posting

[@distantstorm5]

(Not this just getting recommended to me) I agree!! Cinderella ALWAYS had a quiet strength. I wasn't abused, but I was a quieter kid and didn't have lots of friends in school when I was little. Showing Cinderella as kind and resiliant gave me hope. Thank you for sharing your perspective on one of my favorite Disney movies!

[@em01455]

Cinderella was also very important to me. I was abused as a child and she was the blueprint to my survival. Through my jobs in fashion related customer service I’ve been lucky enough to act as a fairy godmother to other women and give them the confidence they needed through empathy and no nonsense advice.

[@annieandelsieofarendelle3294]

I read this excellent but dark fanfiction about Cinderella, her life in the castle, how the abuse affected her, and her fears about being a mother. One scene that really stuck with me was when Cinderella collapses in tears, loudly apologizing to her son after scolding him.

[@emilyb2273]

Where is this fabric and what's the title? It sounds interesting!

[@Abyssalwolf413]

do you know the title of the fic?? kinda wanna read it myself :o

[@annieandelsieofarendelle3294]

@@Abyssalwolf413 It's called Ex Tenebris Lux.

[@annieandelsieofarendelle3294]

@@emilyb2273 Ex Tenebris Lux.

[@scarletgiry3958]

I cannot recommend the fanfic "The Rose and the Crown" enough. I love that one so much! It goes into detail and expands on Cinderella's story as she navigates into her new life in the castle. It's a fantastic read.

[@spectralight8412]

Personally Ariel has always been my favorite Disney Princess, mainly because I always related to her more. An adventurous wild child held back by overprotective and strict parents, which only got worse after I had a life or death operation as a child, (the music in that movie helped), but Cinderella always held a special place in my heart. When I was young my mom had told me about her abuse growing up, and how she ran away with my dad to escape it. She eventually forgave my grandmother but not her stepfather who she views as the instigator of all her abuse. Mom reminded me so much of Cinderella from what she had told me. Cinderella also has nurturing instincts which had me seeing her as a motherly figure so every time I see Cinderella I think of my mom and how she rescued herself by leaving behind a life time of abuse by meeting my dad and having the bravery to go through with running away. I honestly like the Cheetah Girls’ Cinderella song, but it never felt like they were singing about her, it felt more like they were singing about Sleeping Beauty or Snow White, and they just went with Cinderella cause she’s the most iconic/recognizable Disney Princess and the name flows with the song better. The song writers probably didn’t realize they were disgracing her name and story in the process. Which is a shame. I remember I used to think Keira Knightley was cool for choosing to be a pirate over a princess during a Disney Channel interview (with the Movie Surfers I think) when she was asked what she preferred and her answer stayed with me for years. Until one day I heard she had said she would never show her own daughter Cinderella by calling it dangerous or something. It was my first time experiencing Hollywood celebrity ignorance (mainly because I live under a rock) and feeling disappointment towards a celebrity I liked.

[@quirkyblackenby]

That Cinderella song was actually originally about Snow White. I found the song because Disney+‘s captions suck and I think you’re right about them changing it because Cinderella is more iconic. Plus it wasn’t cool to like Disney princesses at that time.

[@karnagekarnival5127]

I love Cinderella. Even though im typically a fan of action driven characters like Mulan, Tarzan, Hercules etc, Cinderalla was the exception. I respected and admired her, she has quiet strength. The kind of power that is always overlooked and demeaned because its expressed in what people consider "traditional" feminine traits. Shes kind and patient, nurturing and gentle. But she has her limits, and the animators did SO well in conveying her emotions in her glances and mannerisms. Ive always found Rage centered media very enthralling but Cinderella's despair is also very impactful. Yes shes at her wits end, she needs help, and it ARRIVES. Her friends, her guardian. And when given a chance she shines and it enraptures the Prince. But if it hadnt been for her consistency, her will power to survive and cultivate her friendships and skills she would have never gotten to that happy ending. Yes her friends pull an all nighter and finish her dress, and in moments a fairy godmother makes her a carriage, the prince falls in love at first sight. But Cinderella was strong and beautiful inside and out for YEARS. Thats an incredibly powerful character imo.

[@CrazyMama75]

Vexes me that Cinderella gets such criticism yet the king is openly physically abusive to his aid and it's framed as somehow cute FFS, shows how society feels about male abuse vrs female experiences

[@quirkyblackenby]

To be fair most people have never seen the movie

[@Meela9088]

Eh people do make jabs at the king. Honest trailers pointed out that the king doesn’t care who is the next baby factory lol

[@Mitsu2040]

I totally agree with everything you said! I think the message of the movie was "be kind through adversity and good things will come your way" rather than "by doing nothing, someone will eventually come and fix your life for you".

[@Cnichal]

Both can be a lie. This is the myth of karma too. We hope that things will happen to those who hurt us; things that will make them reconsider their actions to us. Well that only works if somebody believes what they’ve done in the past was wrong, and if they were even thinking about you at that moment. They never do. I stopped believing that as long as I’m kind, the universe will make everything right. As an severely abused kid. I’ll be waiting on death, before that happens. Something that I’ve attempted to run to, since I was 13.

[@Mitsu2040]

@@CnichalI think it's more about believing that it CAN happen, which gives us hope and steers us away from despair. It's not meant to be a transactional system where you do enough good deeds and then you can buy yourself happiness.

[@Cnichal]

@@Mitsu2040 yeah that’s the thing about hope. Sometimes people stamp it out of you really early. Especially when you reach out for help, and the “help” sides with your abuser. We you learn that ‘help’ is a fickle thing. It is given to those who are better at directing the narrative, than you can. The ‘help’ I reached out for- Well, it help put me in a mental institution, help isolate me from potential friends, and made me fear therapy. To name a few. I am thankful that the Disney messaging helps some people.. But some people don’t have that hope, will never have that hope, and don’t even understand this thing called hope. All because the ‘help’, held you down when we tried to reach a hand. The help told us that we need to be more forgiving to our parents, the help told us that we needed to be better children. Being kind through adversity, in hopes that good things will come your way- That does not always work. Especially, for those who do not have the ability to get help, or those who society says should not have help. Some of us are not seen as a human too. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@alonelybunny1824]

Hi! I absolutely love this video! I was also a kid who didn't understand her situation was "bad" at first. For most of my primary school years, my house had no running water or gas and it was infested by roaches. My family often fought. My mother was a prostitute and my father was a drunk who later started taking drugs. I lived with my grandparents. (Who are flawed in their own right.) I'm a little embarrassed to say that I'm 20 now and have only recently started trying to be an adult and escape from all this. My grandma took my phone while I was sleeping and read through my search history, which included things about moving out and getting into dorms. She sat me down the next day and looked into my eyes and told me that I was never escaping. My blood ran cold. Cinderella as well as all Disney movies (I have seen nearly all of them to date) are my comfort films and I truly believe that I would be a lot less "together" without them. My grandparents will not allow me to seek therapy and will confiscate my phone if I'm even caught watching a video about the subject. So your video and others like it are really good for me! This was very eye opening. Thank you!

[@quirkyblackenby]

Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you are able to get outta there soon. I wish you all the best.

[@sylvestercat1898]

As someone who’s been swept up with the mainstream view on Cinderella (combined with me not seeing the movie in at least a decade), it’s very refreshing to see a new point of view that I whole heartedly agree with. Might I add, hearing Cinderella’s monologue about how hopeless she felt makes me want to watch the movie again. Ilene Woods is such a talented voice actress, her raw emotions brought me back to a time when I was younger and felt so hopeless that I couldn’t leave home soon enough.

[@gracemakeslace]

As a child I secretly loved the Cinderella movie but was afraid to watch it when my parents were around. At 27 I started to realize what was actually going on when I was a kid, and why I liked her so much more than, say, Mulan, despite my tomboy inclinations. She was a role model for me, even though I didn't consciously realize it at the time.

[@roarkthehalf-orc6598]

Anyone who bashes animated cinderella and says she's a "damsel in destress" is victim blaming. Plain and simple

[@Midoriventure]

Tbh I really dislike the way ''damsel'' has become shorthand for a incapable and useless girl. It literally means girl. That's it. And the derision going with it - there is nothing wrong with being in trouble and needing help. Girl or boy. Situations where you have no way out exist. Situations where the way out isn't acceptable exist. Damsel in distress shouldn't mean anything other than exactly what it is. Anyway, I agree with you. 0.5 seconds of thought towards Cinderella make it obvious that there was no recourse for her to take.

[@GiraffasaurusRx]

I love that she brings up friends as support. So many people these days think the only successful way in life is to save yourself.. thats valuable, but without proper support you are way more likely to fail. Support networks are not weaknesses.

[@joyellis6792]

Great job on this video!! I totally agree with you. I too am so tired of the original wave of princesses being bashed for being passive, weak, and complacent. As another person who grew up with abuse, I agree that Cinderella is an amazing story of a resilient girl. She overcomes the trauma of a hell scape existence still able to love and hope and that is amazing. She easily could have become a bitter cruel woman like Lady Tremaine after all the abuse she endured, but she didn’t. Cinderella is amazing and I hope others can see that you don’t have to be wielding a sword or rejecting suitors to be considered a strong woman. Thanks for your video!

[@MacAucha-kiltedbikerReptilian]

YES. Cinderella was the "scapegoat" of the family.

[@dmancluster2631]

I hate how Disney took the story of Cinderella, the story of an abuse victim who managed to get a happy ending and decided that it would read better if they criticized it for being sexist (while taking way too long to actually be more feminist in their newer art if you ask me). I noticed in the description how you mentioned Lady Tremaine is Jewish coded along with tons of other Disney villains and I really appreciate that.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Yeah I would’ve put it in the video if I had known sooner. I think it’s important to mention Disney’s bigoted antics if I’m gonna praise one of their movies.

[@WishfulThinkingArt]

I find it so amazing how there’s a new wave of respect for the Disney Princesses, especially Cinderella. If anything, these wonderful ladies taught me how to be kind and that you could always seek comfort in your friends and your dreams as you worked to get where you wanted to be. The bull crap about not needing no man and needing to pull yourself up by your bootstraps every step of the way is so bad, and I’m glad we’re coming away from that these days. And I honestly relate to Cinderella so much more as an adult so I feel like I love and appreciate her character so much more! ❤

[@quirkyblackenby]

I mean no one needs a man. I agree with that but I don't think hyper independence is the answer either. You can be single and still get help from others in your community like Cinderella did.

[@Faetilla666]

3:20 idk why ppl say the prince didn't had a personality in the original movie, this single clip shows so much personality! One of my fave disney princes lol

[@quirkyblackenby]

He's barely in the movie compared to other princes

[@Faetilla666]

@@quirkyblackenby he has more screen time in Cinderella 3 :P

[@AntiStraightMaleSociety]

​@@Faetilla666it took the third movie for him to have more screen time? No wonder nobody remembers him

[@quirkyblackenby]

Very true

[@niemsalleh7224]

When he rolled his eye to girls at the ball make me laugh😁😁😁 He so cutee?😂😂 l always loved he character the original movie.😊

[@yeettheduck23]

I'm so glad somebody said it. As someone who had a very similar experience in childhood and saw this movie as a message of hope as well, I've had enough of the shallow Cinderella slander that was popular in the early aughts (Beauty and the Beast was another victim of this disingenuous trend). I'm so glad more people are reading stories more deeply, and loving things unapologetically. Fairy tales were my lifeline, and deserve better.

[@hydromind5438]

6:16 Also in some of the versions of the original fairytale, Cinderella’s mother was the one to give her the means to go to the ball. She prays at her mother’s grave and her dead mother uses birds to give her a gown.

[@owo4983]

ooh i think i remember one similar to that. i think the one im thinking of has a tree? it may not actually be a cinderella story though

[@danielasarmiento3101]

​@owo4983 actually it's the German version of cinderella named ashputel or the juniper tree, but that was way more gruesome

[@owo4983]

@@danielasarmiento3101 i went to read both of them, and it was more likely to be ashputtel now that ive checked. it was the grave tree thing, although i thought i remembered fruit the juniper tree was interesting though (once again a white as snow, red as blood thing).

[@Midoriventure]

It's so funny how well Disney managed to reflect that, with the gown being her dead mother's and the animals.

[@ghostporcupine]

I feel this video so much. This was my favorite movie when i was very small, along with a few other princess movies, and whenever i look back on it now im like "well that makes a hell of a lot of sense." Its in vogue to be down on Disney princesses but those films told me, when i was a kid, that it could he okay and you could get free someday. That's such an important message that a lot of people don't understand.

[@googleoogle]

I always disliked how adaptations saw it as weak or antifeminist to have people, often men who held power, help you, especially because I think being kind in the face of difficulty and socially aiding others are feminine coded traits in todays world. Independence and strength are really more masculine coded traits especially back when the original would have been made. It feels like they're saying the bad parts were the parts where she displayed traits society decided were feminine. But she never waited for a prince, she was just herself and he was the one actively seeking her out. I don't think movie cinderella ever thought she would see that man again after their night. She certainly wasn't counting on it. She got a happy ending really by chance, which is the truth for a lot of abuse survivors, in my eyes it takes the onus off of her to have "done more" about her situation. Like you said, it literally took a miracle. My mom escaped abuse and poverty by marrying and I always think she carried around the idea that she was lesser for taking that path, but when you're in the thick of it you would do anything to get out, and just managing to survive is the miracle. Marriage has always been a social contract typically used against women, and when they use it to their advantage it's seen as scummy or lesser or not progressive. I can't understand that. I loved this vid and I'm so happy it was recommended to me!

[@gracemakeslace]

Oh my goodness, you just put into words a feeling I've felt for a long while now! The main reason I hope my partner, who treats me so well and I'm still madly in love with, even after YEARS, get married sooner than later is because I don't want my next of kin to have any say in what happens to me during a medical emergency. Doctors will listen to my husband over my mother, for instance, but they'd listen to my mother over my boyfriend or even fiancee, and THAT terrifies me. But, I've also felt resistance to the idea from my own heart- because if it wasn't for my family, I wouldn't feel a call to get married. I love my partner, I'm happy with him, and neither of us want children- so, from a societal perspective, what's the point of getting married?

[@louc.6735]

I feel like modern Cinderella retellings focus too much on the prince and the romance and not on the Fairy Godmother and the powerlessness of the situation. When you said that you wished you could have a magic wish as a kid, I resonated with that. I never cared about the prince and the ball, but as a kid, I resonated with the Fairy Godmother and the animal companions helping Cinderella to get out of her situation. You could replace the prince and the ball with anything. The point is the catharsis in escape. It's a fantasy, ultimately, but we can't ignore how fantasy helps us in the worst times. Overall, yeah, Cinderella (1950) Good.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Yup Cinderella is about the fantasy of escaping to me which is why my favorite retellings still hold onto that part like A Cinderella Story (2004)

[@lisss2114]

I always loved Cinderella as a little girl, I loved how kind she was even though she had to go through so much she still remained a kind soul. I hate how the narrative has been changed to her just being a damsel in distress and nothing more. She in the end truly ended up saving herself. Also I hope you’re doing well, I’m sorry you had to go through that-no one deserves that kind of treatment, I hope you’re healing🩷

[@RancidGravy]

I LOVE that she has no idea she was dancing with the prince. She just wanted to dress up pretty and dance at a party like everybody else, and happened to find someone that clicked. I like to think they saw the self-confidence and gentleness in each other's eyes and gestures.

[@Pennsylvania343]

What makes lady tramane so scary is that she is realistic she is not overly cartoonish there are people in this world that are evil like her and if you read the book this movie was based off of lady tramane poisned Cinderella's father she literally married and killed the man to get his estate she was a heartless killer through and through I shiver to think what would have happened to Cinderella if she could not get away from that woman it makes me sick that there are people that victim blame Cinderella

[@keenoled]

Mine was Sleeping Beauty. Found family raising you, meeting people and just clicking with them, and then on top of that the beautiful woods and castle drawings, and Tchaicovsky's music on top. Such incredible comfort when you feel like your own family doesn't like you.

[@fatcat1414]

I may have not been forced to do all the housework like Cinderella, but my mom got so loud and violent re: my chores and personal hygiene that after moving out I had to reparent myself until doing those things wasn't paralyzingly triggering. But until then, even as a legal adult with a job, I did not have enough financial power to girlboss my way out of my abuse. Films like Cinderella reminded me in the meantime it was enough to just survive.

[@GbyP]

A lot of people don't understand the context of her abuse as well as how she literally had no way to leave without becoming homeless. This is 19th century France meaning 1800s and she was abused ever since her father died and she cannot leave. Cinderella reminds me of Marilyn Monroe's own upbringing and she literally had to marry out of the foster care system.

[@juliastremme8020]

@@GbyP pin this!!!

[@ilonashumiha]

@@juliastremme8020 She would have come up with something. She's not a little kid after all

[@arnold20139]

As someone who finds this movie boring, yet I do appreciate the themes. To this day, I do shed a tear when I see Cinderella's Pink Dress gets ripped apart.

[@audreyquinn73]

I actually experienced the opposite of "The Cinderella Effect" whereby my step-father was the loving, supportive parent, while my biological mother was/is an abusive NPDed person.

[@DawnDavidson]

Yeah. Those of us who tried really hard to be good and loving stepparents sometimes have a hard time with always being portrayed as evil. I’m glad your stepdad was supportive and loving. I hope it helped.

[@audreyquinn73]

@@DawnDavidson That's a fair point, especially for stepmoms. There aren't enough stories in the media that I recall portraying positive step-parents having positive relationships with their children outside of "The Brady Bunch." I think it's very sad because there is so much focus on the importance of biological parents, but just because someone contributed to your DNA, it does not mean they knew how to be loving to their children. I thank God every day for my Dad. I would not have become a healthy person without him, and I've missed him terribly for the past 18 years. Well done you for being a supportive stepmom! We need to celebrate more relationships and benefits of step-parents who are so often overlooked and underrepresented. Love from Ireland! ❤️ 🇮🇪

[@GageTheMatewielGurl]

I am a boy but I have always loved Disney movies, and when I was a little kid my favorite was Cinderella because at the time she was very relatable. Reason being I had two abusive dad's throughout my early childhood. They made me do a lot of chores, and I had to take care of myself because they wouldn't take care of me. My Mom didn't even know that they never took care of me till I told her when I was older. But at the time she couldn't do anything to stop the abuse or punishments because she was scared of them in both relationships. This movie gave me the idea that even though you are going through a lot stay gentle and kind because one day your dreams for it to end would come. Because of this I was always kind and never rude making it part of my personality. But one day my dream really did come true. This movie has a special place in my heart for helping me get through it all.

[@Sarahmint]

The bare minimum message of Cinderella is work hard and be rewarded and somehow she's "waiting around"?

[@quirkyblackenby]

A lotta people have never seen the movie or don't remember what happens

[@kharma101]

It seems that modern audiences like to generalise or exaggerate many Disney princess films to seem more negative. Snow White, The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Pocahontas, and Sleeping Beauty.

[@quirkyblackenby]

Yup. Unfortunately many people have never watched the Disney Princess movies.

[@cinnamoncroissantroll6321]

Idk, I think Pocahontas deserves a bit of the flack considering it was based off of a real person whose experiences were VERY far from the fairytale romance the movie Pocahontas had. There's videos about it if you're curious, it's...quite tragic. Other than that, I agree with you.

[@kharma101]

@@cinnamoncroissantroll6321 I mean yeah but putting that stuff aside, people always make fun of Pocahontas for going with a white man.

[@cinnamoncroissantroll6321]

@@kharma101 ohhh I didn't think about that I didn't even know people did that, but it doesn't surprise me considering all the excuses I've heard people invent to shat on the Disney princesses

[@TheHalloweenSpirit]

Yeah, people now want more "active leading woman" roles, that it is good, but don't need to hate these classics made in the 50s, 40s and even 30s when the society was way way more machist but these female characters still get to be the big stars of her own movies and stories, that even in dark times a kind heart still can have hope and find happiness

[@dtucker1984]

I am here for the backlash to the bad faith readings of Disney princess movies we've all been subjected to over the last decade! I'm so tired of hearing that Snow White and Cinderella were hapless damsels waiting for a prince, that Belle had Stockholm syndrome (which doesn't actually exist anyway), or that Ariel gave up her whole identity for a man. Its tedious and unserious. Thank you for this beautiful, vulnerable, video. It's inspired me to rewatch this movie!

[@quirkyblackenby]

I wish people took children's media more serious. It's so much more important than people think because it does impact how kids view themselves and the world.

[@duykhangtran4406]

It's a huge reason I really doesn't want to watch any live action remake that coming out because those things are the one thing these new movies and actors keep bringing up to stomp the original movies and make themself look better

[@reyfairburn5023]

Thank you for putting this into words! I was in an abusive household as a kid and Cinderella was my favorite Disney princess too, it's only recently I realized the connection there

[@galaxy_girl7289]

Sending this to people who shamed me for loving Cinderella.

[@donellewitter6076]

Thank you for this video!!! It makes me upset when people focus on the love story and miss the whole point of the movie. It was how a young girl survived physical and mental abuse and still got to have a happy ending. The abuse did not make her damaged goods.

[@roxycauldwell544]

I always comment on Cinderella on the prince "saving her".... He didn't want to be linked up with anyone lol his dad had to force the event to happen! He just happened to like Cinderella unexpectedly

[@quirkyblackenby]

I know. I watched the movie.

[@roxycauldwell544]

@@quirkyblackenby I know! I'm just reiterating :)