One Question That Sets Up a Narcissists Collapse

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Want to learn more about how to be your own hero? Join me for a free live webinar! I will give you all kinds of tools, and how to shift the power dynamic with a narcissist. Join me right here& slay.rebeccazung.com/freetrainingrz-3627

[@georgediederich2035]

When I stood up to her in our last conversation she realized I wasn’t “acting” the way I had in the past. She completely broke down like a child. I actually called her codependent she yelled out “I’m not codependent” and she hung up it made me feel SOO good

[@popmonika]

Make sure she can't find a way back. At the end (like it or not) she considers you supply. Don't be surprised if she tries to use friends and family to tempt you back/just to discard or victim blame you again. If she hasn't done this already.

[@Stina33]

Yes I have and the person couldn't answer and started to back a way from the confrontation and I took back the power Thank you!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/

[@travislee9396]

I’m in a 13 year marriage to one. The only time I’ve ever had the upper hand, so to speak, is when I’ve prepared myself to make a decision and stick to it. Taking control over something in your life they have no control over and working it to make yourself better. Stay strong y’all.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/

[@jameskelley5532]

The question that caused a toxic narcissist to melt down in front to me was “ now why would I want to do that”

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/

[@GhostOfMrPickles]

i reminded them of something the estate lawyer said about the property, to which they claimed they don't recall it (never mind that I've stated this issue multiple times this year, once, they even threatened to remove the items that created the situation and put them in storage, i reminded them that i am half owner, and they cannot remove it without my consent, nor would i agree to storage fees when it's fine where it is, they go silent, sulking because they didn't win. i reminded them to consult the lawyer for why, and if i'm wrong, have the lawyer call me and tell me why.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/

[@Prudence1974]

I am dealing with a narcissist right now. He came off as a great catch. He invested in the relationship, he did several repairs on my house that I needed, but he forced my hand at letting him do repairs after I declined his assistance several times. Before I realized that he was a 50 yr old narcissist and he used me as his source of fuel. I'm not going to lie , I am scared of him. Because he is stronger than me and can't easily beat me up. My daughter works nights tonight and tomorrow, I watch my grandsons with no protection. Please pray for me and my grandsons. I know God will cover us with his protection.

[@DanBochicchio]

I have the upper hand when the department of children and families told me and her that she couldn’t be around the kids she was on her best behavior until she regain control

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/

[@pe2914]

What I've realized after watching your videos Rebecca is, no matter what label, title, diagnoses a person may or may not have (narcissist, toxic...)...is, ALL OF YOUR ADVICE & TACTICS WORK!!!❣❣‼️‼️I have not ONLY used your EXACT advice & tactics myself on MANY people & situations...BUT, I have literally shared your EXACT solutions to my FRIENDS💞& GUESS WHAT❓IT WORKED FOR THEMMMMM TOOOOOOOO REBECCA❣‼️‼️❣THANK YOU FOR ALLLLLLLL THAT YOU DO🤗💕💞

[@DaviesMartinezBeats]

Thank you for the upload, Rebecca. After 96 visits to the Lower, District and Federal Courts of Australia with my Narc, spread across 8 court Hearings and Trials (two in the near future still to go), surely I hold the record for litigious court Narc contact, other than yourself of course. Keep up the good work xx

[@deejames1st]

This was brilliant. It can be used in multiple situations too.

[@Richard-vq7ud]

Yes, i am going to "file" this away. But I dont think I will ever get to say it because I am no contact with all of my narcs...so far at least.

[@mobopolo]

I've also used "What are you doing? What are you supposed to be doing and are you doing that?"

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/

[@KEOSHAANEILIA]

I didn’t understand fully until your coaching conversation flip. This makes a lot of sense. I don’t believe he will listen, but only try to find ways to try to make his nonsensical unbalanced relationship desires make sense.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/

[@EMGEE718]

OMG!!❤ REBECCA MARRY ME! I love this!! "How does this benefit you" - REBECCA the GOAT.. I'm using this tomorrow!! I'm buying the book right now!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com

[@OscarMesa-x1o]

When I seen his mask slip off and my mind flooded with seeing him mirroring my soul. My personality and realization that he was projecting his evil self onto me.

[@kathyt.8431]

I have gone no contact and have stayed that way. Today, when I see him at our father’s funeral, I plan to tell him if he wants to discuss things to email me. He has been trying to talk to me about “business”.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@lizvermaas9703]

As a 'joke' my ex used to say "what's in it for me?". I just ignored it. No reaction. When in other situations, demands were being made, I would just repeat the demand as a question, starting with the phrase "Yes, I'd like to know when...etc" Left them with nowhere to go.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com/

[@Prudence1974]

While dealing with a narcissist was I didn't show fear in front of them. I stood my ground. I didn't back down. I chose me over them. And I will always chose Me over them every day.

[@arianasha]

HOW DOES THIS BENEFIT YOU ? Bec in so so so many ways and situations in this ONE phrase/question.. BRILLIANT, LOVE IT ! Wooohooo!

[@pe2914]

But I DEFINITELY will remember to use this in other future situations...thank you REBECCA❣❣

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@pe2914]

When I've said or asked similar things to the 83 yr old EX-narc in my life...he had ABSOLUTELY NOOOOO SHAME when his "AGENDAS" were "revealed" Rebecca. He was SUCH a "ballz-out" kind of older-person-crazy, NOTHING EVER shamed him!! I can GUARANTEE IF I would have asked him this question, he would SIMPLY STATE EXACTLY what he would "benefit." I could BET a $1million & I WOULD WIN. I CONSTANTLY was either subtly, like casual normal-tone/no emotion, state what HIS "motive" or "benefit" was. Or state it in disagreement. He would mainly lie, but his brain was sooooooo fried from alllll the drugs he had done, he would "SLIP" due to me speaking sooooo casually, like I was "okay" about it, he'd admit it w/out upset...just ASSUMING he was GOING to get what he wanted. This was NORMAL conversation to him. It was WHEN I said "NO" he would get upset & throw his tantrums. He didn't use to do it as much. Until I started saying it more...

[@andreac.6779]

I haven’t asked that question. But one time I exposed to a narcissist the benefits of situation for him and this person got so freaking mad.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@libbyrumary4939]

I need a good attorney to sue my ex employer for defamation, toxicity and breaking a contract, help!!

[@recoveringsoul755]

I needed a good lawyer to actually work for me instead of only serving themselves and draining all my limited finances. The system is rigged to worship the narcissist and punish the children and the good parent

[@jumpyvincejumpyvince4500]

When in court, they we're using a narative to be complaiant and willing to move forward in a beneficial way, to save face, and in mutual agreement went on with there narative saying that we are agree on a common ground.

[@eastside907ak9]

Thank you for all you do for us!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com

[@kharadinbrahman]

not for all situations, but for some, noted.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com

[@meerathegreyhound1044]

Thank you for these videos. The best thing I did was to go “no contact” after awhile I did hear from my narc but it was on my terms and boundaries of communication when I wanted to respond.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@jojogrrl2756]

My husband was well organised when he went into his asset separation. She stole or “squandered” his inheritance but then used it to buy a house. She wanted even more money and was trying to take more and said they paid for a car from her parents with sone of the inheritance and that was why it was gone BUT we’d done our homework. He pulled out the bank statements of when the car was paid. She had nothing. The Registrar let him keep an additional $20k and she said nothing. We have set up an email address just for her so she’s not in my hubby’s email all the time. He checks once a week. We’ve decided we’re not getting lawyers involved. Men in Australia cannot win. If she takes the kids it’s up to them to ask to live with us now they’re teenagers. She has all the money. She gets extra from my hubby and has a live in boyfriend and a part time job. We’re not doing it. The kids can make up their own mind.

[@Ballpython77]

thank you, i will try it next time i have to deal with my ex narc.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com

[@LifeChangePlans]

Not yet, still in litigations. Three overlapping court cases against me since he left me with nothing in September 2020. Now he expects to take my retirement savings as well.

[@targoltran]

Yes. I do think this is a great question to ask. How does this benefit you? Since everything is about the benefits and sources, this lets them know that you are with it. They are also very keen in regards to knowing an opponents finances. They enter the conversation by not directly asking, but getting the info anyways. It is very time consuming, and exhausting to engage with NPD. They eventually will walk away if they are cut off of benefits.

[@cho4d]

i think this is one of the weapons of the narcisist too. my sister is outrageously overt narc and seemed to be having a reaction to my donating to charity and she asked why and i gave her some reasons around the importance of it and she was just like "yeah but how does that benefit you?" and i was super triggered to be honest. am i narc? maybe. i know for sure she is. i think she knows how triggering that line of questioning is from personal experience and wanted to bring me down so she doesn't have to feel her ego is threatened by someone making her look bad by contrast.

[@angelinapicard2561]

I was schooling her on HOA law in a meeting and she told me to sit down and shut up, or she would have security remove me. I looked at her and said,"No you won't!" She sat down and shut up. I then walked over to the woman who was being denied her right to vote, by the narcissist, and I was telling her what she needed to do legally. The narcissist, once again, got up and came over and told me to stop talking to the woman. I turned to her and said, "Don't you ever interrupt me ever again when I'm having a conversation, do you understand?" She turned and skulked back to her place at the board's table! That's the day I realized what a coward she truly is. She's a bully... period. I didn't allow her to bully me. She backed down and I think she might be afraid of me because she knows l am well versed in the law.

[@JennC77]

No I'm trying to think when to say it

[@shellys.8748]

Thank you so much uou have helped us so very much!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@libbyrumary4939]

Yes, my sisters!!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@Elbalchc]

Have used other words… if I do that what is it I get out of it & what is it that you get out of it?

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com

[@Richard-vq7ud]

I would love to use this line on my narc brother, but I am no contact almost 2 years. The other thing I'm wondering is what exactly does a narcissistic collapse look like, or how would that benefit us?

[@WPVanHeerden]

I stated that when they do (that thing) again, I will know for sure that they're an "energy vampire" they thereafter refrained from doing (that thing) even though I can see they're just dying to do it again.

[@drcliffbrickman6087]

Dat's a good question actually a great one 💘 - Dr Cliff Ps 1 . a very good "Zungian slip" as in Freudian: they thrive on tension // attention. I think they thrive on tension almost as much or more than attention! PS. 2 - Your question & turning it around (who gets what out of what?😅) can apply to various Consultants Etc including attorneys who are not acting in a fiduciary manner, IE, not supporting the client! In my experience this happens far too often - perhaps out there - more people are happy than I was😮😂🎉 w their attys. ( Throughout my life so far, the only time I was truly happy with my attorney was, he was one of my best friends, and we were assisting each other, basically mutually pro bono by the way. ;)

[@kat-75]

I think im gonna try that. See n have my Lord help me make a list of all the good things people have done for me.

[@Veraconah]

Wow. That was actually really good advice.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@travislee9396]

I’m going to try that. Thank you so much.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@regalbeagle2321]

I love this! This was a great video! I loved how you showed us how were talking to that person, in your situation.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!

[@marialuisavelasco9772]

I don't want him to collapse. I actually tried to save him from shame by accepting that he chose someone over me😊

[@marialuisavelasco9772]

I told everyone that he has a new one whom she can't leave that's why it's me who's giving up.

[@WillieBrooks-g6g]

Great. Class! Defend yourself! Thanks. Doctor!🎈

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com

[@JennC77]

Love all of your help! I'm trying!💝

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@TU-ks6pu]

Love your information you give us … thank you

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Stay strong! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - slaythenarc.com

[@logothaironsides2942]

I'll keep that one in the arsenal.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop Keep slaying!

[@nicholecornes1915]

Thats a good question

[@Phoenixrising0000]

The question that caused the narcissist collapse for me was "What are you doing, you are deliberately pushing everyone who loves you away by shutting us down, you will lose us all." Mask off. He fell to the floor and acted as though he couldn't breathe, i walked over him and went outside, and 5 minutes later he got up and acted as though nothing happened. I was then ignored for 3 weeks, during that time I went to him crying.... that's when I saw his eyes turn black, and was laughed in my face with the evilest laugh I've ever heard.

[@sineadgrier2182]

They'll think you have gone to a lawyer ! No.2 They'll realize that you know what is really wrong with them when it maybe be better to be gone before you do that.

[@nicholecornes1915]

They always collapse

[@pinatacolada7986]

My covert narcissistic father would answer "How does that benefit you?", with "It doesn't, it only punishes you" and then probably a smug smile. The question he can't answer is "What are you trying to achieve in the long term?".

[@kaohanakoa3785]

Just to clarify - am I asking the narcissist to explain how something they want is going to benefit them, or am I asking the narcissist to explain how something they want is going to benefit ME (as in a win-win situation)?

[@toddmccullough7778]

Wow! Thank You!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@karamason2340]

I cant see them responding at all to the question.

[@wesshort7202]

100% disabled veteran who escaped a 28 year toxic marriage. The situation was getting to the point where I felt in danger and speaking to a lawyer and the VA I was told to leave asap. The lawyer told me at the time that I didn't have cause to file and that I would need to be separated for a year before being able to file. My spouse walked into a lawyer's office armed with every sympathy gaining lie possible and I was obliterated financially by the court in the separation hearing. Half of my income was gone and I had to turn over my vehicle. No lawyer would touch me without a hefty retainer. Now it's been a year and I'm going into mediation about to lose even more because of her lies. I'm essentially homeless with no vehicle because she's manipulated those around her to lie on her behalf.

[@elizabethullrich9824]

Sending you hugs and prayers and thank you for serving. May things work out for you.

[@wesshort7202]

Thank you. The best thing is that I was able to get away and it will be over soon. @@elizabethullrich9824

[@simaddiction]

I found that asking my wife to go to marriage therapy and learn to compromise did the trick

[@irenehamilton2981]

They are definitely co dependent

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@Martty_4]

This married man had spoilt my name to everyone and later I found out he liked me. He used to ask me why im not marrying

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@EMGEE718]

Rebecca do you practice in NY?

[@sabrinadawson7026]

You are a beautiful woman 😍

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/

[@nicholecornes1915]

I dont know if i want to do that because he has my son

[@deboraghandrews6333]

Didn't get there way with me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out -slaythenarc.com/ Keep slaying!

[@jackreston8188]

This isn't clear. I don't understand what you are saying.

[@luxurytexashomes]

I wish you had been my attorney when I got divorced from my narcissist asshole ex-husband!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/

[@CatherineSTodd]

I'm listening to the video, but can't find the "one question that I'm supposed to say. Help!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com

[@BB-ni6pp]

I would love to ask my ex-and "friend" how did it benefit you by drugging and raping me?

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/

[@johnmoirano5221]

yes but believe me she will buy her way back up money is the medicine

[@ChillinVillin-in7sj]

Not much time.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

This might help you better as well slaythenarc.com/

[@chrismartinus2622]

Rebecca, are you a narcissist? Please explain.😁

[@TrueWalker88]

Your message is so lost by selling and advertising every other sentence. Seems really manipulative. It's especially shady when you are speaking to victims of manipulation.

[@mariagracenieva6696]

rebeccazung.. need your help for me 🙏

[@SherryWilson-dk7bo]

Thank you Rebecca, helpful information 😊 ❤️🙏