One teenager's tragic hidden secret

[@Cheriwrites75]

"What will I miss by dying tonight?" "The possibility of getting better." Precious girl.

[@jenniferhuang3396]

that was what hit mw the hardest.

[@kyatri9496]

So sad

[@leni9199]

It’s hard because she knew this, yet she did it anyway.

[@lozbozlauren]

poor baby:(

[@Cheriwrites75]

@@anna2skadoo Why don't you think it will happen for you?

[@bubbles7508]

Her sweatshirt says “class of 2019” that broke my heart

[@madikat9021]

Ayle Carcano I know ): so close

[@ambientinfluence6679]

Mine too..

[@cmfnjaf0741]

Yes, my daughter just graduated class of 2019 so it hits home...

[@ambitiousratofscarletswamp]

Ikr :((

[@elijahdk4041]

I’m class of 2019, I never thought I’d make it. It hurts how close I relate to her

[@ljsmith766]

these parents need to realize that depression doesn’t give a CRAP. they attach themselves to anyone.

[@elm2908]

Well I think they realise that now. They are in shock that there daughter didn’t show any signs of depression. Perhaps you should think before commenting!

[@videolover988]

Exactly, you can have depression but you can be happy

[@alegria1813]

Everyone needs to know that

[@videolover988]

@Willie James you can be happy but at the same time you don’t know you have depression

[@catinthehat906]

The consumption of Omega 3 fatty acids which are essential for brain health have decreased catastrophically in Western diets in the last few decades due to the consumption of processed and intensively farmed factory foods. People who eat low fat, restrictive diets can be particularly vulnerable. Low Vitamin D levels that are essential for similar reasons are also increasingly common.

[@Leah_F.]

The fact that she cleaned her room & made her bed before taking her life says it all. Even at the end, she felt everything needed to be perfect. 😢

[@YoungRiffaka00TV]

😫😫😥😥

[@jenniferlawrence9473]

That's so true!!

[@krisans.cockburn3315]

Thats a typical sign before a suicide. Its like they need to put things in place before leaving this life.

[@marissaramirez4471]

Linda F. what happened

[@cadybarton4459]

Marissa Ramirez wdym did you see the video? She killed herself.

[@ms.trouble2939]

These parents don't understand that depression isn't lying on the couch, eating ice cream and crying. Depression is good at hiding, it doesn't like to be seen. It disguises itself as "teenage angst" or "sadness."

[@lazyfrogeyes5949]

Depression comes in many forms. I suffer from m.d.d and there are days I can't even motivate myself to get out of bed or even doing things as simple as basic hygiene and there are days I eat my feelings away. Tbh you sound uninformed trying to sound smart

[@ms.trouble2939]

Chris Lee I am not trying to “sound smart.” Also, how does this apply to you? This is her! Her type of depression is the hidden kind, this video has nothing to do with you. If anyone is trying to sound smart, it’s you. Go hate somewhere else.

[@emocookiemonsterDx78]

@@lazyfrogeyes5949 I wanted to say the same but you beat me to it but, I hope you good health

[@TeesReddRose]

Yeah she said when she tried to tell her parents they struged her off by saying that's just crazy to feel that way look at what all you have. Material things can't replace feelings. She asked for help but her parents didn't feel she needed counseling So that's when she started the journal

[@333br]

Dont generalize.

[@MorganCPaige]

That poor teacher will carry that weight with him for the rest of his life, that’s an insane amount of guilt.

[@mmg8830]

It will be worst for her family. They saw her everyday, her teacher only for a couple hours somedays. I feel so bad for them and for her, she was fighting a battle with her own self.

[@kathrynneiberger8373]

What did he do? The teacher, I mean.

[@sabrinahenderson8335]

cray cray She confided in him that she was feeling unmotivated. He thought it was teenage angst, when really, she was suicidal.

[@nurulafifah6011]

Not really .. he could've thought that it is not his fault at all ... i had teachers like him before and you know what ? They blame me when i told them i have depression ... after that , i don't trust teachers anymore

[@Nautical_Parsnip]

This only further the dehumanizing stigma around mental illness. People see you as a monster, an unpredictable insane person that can lash out at any moment.

[@danyellelopez5901]

Rip baby girl so sad you didn’t see the beauty You had

[@boohere2]

I think had she known how hurt her family is and all her friends and to see the anguish----she would have thought twice & got help. She probably thought just the opposite like they will get over it. wrong!

[@marissaramirez4471]

Danyelle Lopez when you are severely depressed, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[@Estella-p4y]

you have pretty name!

[@rubybarnard5844]

It’s so devastating that things like this happen you think you know people so well but really you don’t have a clue 😢 rip x

[@LadysGreyhound]

This story was absolutely tragic 💔

[@tae6093]

The fact that goner was on her goodbye playlist hits so hard

[@notlizy]

I started crying

[@paralyzedvampyre8351]

Fr, that song hits me hard

[@Mureirsa]

I feel like that song does the opposite

[@amberellison313]

Ughh Twenty Øne Piløts hits hard

[@BunnyHop126]

That part really made me cry

[@honne6017]

"I'm not ready to die. I think I should plan my death, do it at a good time so I don't have to do my AP exams." the fact that that resonated with me so much really hurt.

[@starcat_]

JK wait did she white that?

[@user-ix3jx9hf7r]

I thought about this too, but I haven’t told anyone.

[@emillazarov6358]

V I’m praying for you

[@kyungjudr4284]

@@user-ix3jx9hf7r please talk to someone okay? your life extremely important

[@bellahernandez8566]

OMG SAME

[@emma222bb]

idk why i feel weird reading her diary its like a invasion of privacy... i don’t think she would’ve wanted the world to see her deepest thoughts

[@1houndgal]

I think she left behind her journals to explain why she killed herself. I don't know why she felt unable to talk to others who can help her. If she didn't want others to read it, I would think she would have destroyed this journals.

[@omarrodriguez3700]

Thank you

[@omarrodriguez3700]

@@1houndgal t

[@bugzsmell8698]

Yeah it felt really awkward

[@emma222bb]

Paris Wolf Paris Wolf okay maybe she meant for her journals to explain to her parents why she did it but for 1.2 MILLION people to read her private thoughts idk man feels weird i dont think she thought her case would reach a platform like this

[@jenniferthom4066]

just the fact that she was going to an engineering tech HIGH SCHOOL???? That is a lot of pressure

[@shannon4191]

Jennifer Thom every school needs a handful of counselors and let kids pick which one they’re most comfortable with, that way they’ll be a better change troubled kids will open up more

[@abby-we5tb]

That's the regional tech school where I'm from. They have different shops like dental assisting, nursing, painting and design, and culinary. It isn't all engineering.

[@abbie9770]

Bingo

[@amyfalconer1660]

@@OpiumBride Retail clerks aren't "worth less" than anyone else. They do a job that needs to be done.

[@lifegoeson1007]

49jubilee girls/women could aspire and put in the effort to be engineers too. School in general could be difficult or stressful for various reasons, whether it’s a normal school or not.

[@abbie_joan]

i find it odd that the news only mentioned her academic achievements like that's all that matters they didn't understand that she was so much more that her education she felt so much pressure to succeed and the fact that they read parts of her personal journal to her friends to get a reaction is just sick

[@sari9645]

Yes!! I was thinking that as well

[@sydrose]

I completely agree! It seems like her self esteem and self purpose was wrapped up in her level of intelligence and academic accomplishments. If you notice, all of her “why’s” for not committing suicide were related to continuing to overachieve rather than leaving behind her family, friends, opportunity for a happy life etc. she was SO MUCH MORE than her academic achievements ❤️ and unfortunately that’s all they kept talking about.

[@Rmxpaola]

no i think they did it on purpose, so they could see that even though she was achieving academically and her life seemed so perfect she was suffering mentally

[@sm.663]

Her parents doesn't look right to me something is off with them.

[@kayla7562]

@@sm.663 from somewhat personal experience, I know that most parents get put on xanax and anti depressants after losing children. Those type of prescriptions can definitely make ppl seem off.

[@haleyriley7731]

when I saw her class of 2019 sweatshirt my heart stopped because this girl could of graduated in a couple days or today or a couple weeks ago she was so young god bless her

[@pandaqtv]

Haley Riley well it was her fault she did it to herself

[@daryn3835]

Panda alexaa you’re disgusting

[@BinhTran-my4kp]

Haley Riley you look like her.

[@haleyriley7731]

Panda alexaa you don’t know what was going on in her head she was clearly not ok and she clearly was not her self if she did this because she had from what we see a very good life so I don’t know what is so sick and twisted about you where you say that but if you’re going to be rude we’ll just don’t be

[@haleyriley7731]

Brad Sam is that a Complement ?

[@Swampzoid]

If someone says "I''m depressed" the usual response is "get over it" Nobody wants to listen to the words of a depressed person.

[@IDarkCalibur]

sometimes we know that we wanted a solution for our problem but we feel that nobody around us would have the right answer for the exact problem. so then we just choose to be silent

[@MelissaThompson432]

People who are determined to die hide their depression so they won't be stopped. DarkCalibur is right. People with suicidal ideation are unusually intelligent, and they know they are. If they can't find any answers, why should they expect someone else to know them? The huge kindness of human nature, the generosity of those who suffer, is that most of us choose to live anyway.

[@MelissaThompson432]

I listen.

[@lionheart5329]

Because its easy to get over .

[@mysnellvilleblog]

swampzoid True but don’t you think that comes from people not knowing what to say? They’re uncomfortable with it, so that probably leads to people pretending they’re ok when they’re not. I saw this somewhere- “It’s ok to not be ok.” It really resonated with me that it’s good to give people permission to not be ok...it’s so simple yet powerful

[@jurnee13]

When the mother says "she put that pressure on herself" ... that hurt me. You can't justify how she felt you're not her.. maybe she did feel pressured by family because she was looked on as the perfect star child and scared to mess up.

[@WisteriaWaves]

Ikr

[@bre7931]

You people ALWAYS blame the family.

[@rawiii5578]

The thing is they never intended nor said or told her to go a specific college or be something. It’s possible that she put that pressure on herself or maybe from her school or just society.

[@deelove6138]

I think its time parents tell their kids they are doing well that they are perfect in what they so..it helps alot..

[@victoriag1246]

It’s a societal pressure most of the time more than anything. Like maybe the parents didn’t actively work against it but a lot of parents don’t understand the pressure we’re under.

[@LAVirgo67]

Seems like there was nothing that could have been done about this young woman. She hid her depression perfectly. That was probably due to her perfectionism. I feel for those left behind to struggle with the guilt. They had no idea.

[@spacenachos]

There is ALWAYS something that can done. And I say that NOT to guilt the parents but to provide hopefulness to anyone who knows someone who is suffering from depression.

[@cannedheat300]

That something must be the will and desire to live even though your brain is telling you otherwise. In hindsight, we know those parents would have moved heaven and earth to save their daughter. You cannot force people to get help but you can try and be supportive.

[@madreep]

Your view is part of the problem in my opinion. She felt the need to be perfect, but why? Was she allowed to make mistakes? To fail? To just be a kid sometimes? Did she even know what depression was? Or that it was okay to be depressed and seeking help was good? How did her parents react to a bad grade on a test? Were they only proud when she did well? Or was she only praised when she was winning? We don't become overachievers by ourselves. There is always something that can be done.

[@paulaporter778]

@@spacenachos i disagree if someone wants to end it they will do it

[@kathleenosteen6446]

@Just Moi What you say is sometimes true, but not always. It's not fair to say they are narcissistic and at fault. That is a terrible thing to say. Yes, I know parents can be the cause of their child's problems, including a need to be perfect, but that is not evident in this video and you are just guessing. You could say this is true in some cases, but it's not evident here as far as we know. The parents seem to be caring and devastated by their daughter's loss. It's not fair to add to it with a guess.

[@aneziacm]

It bothers me that the mom said she put the pressure on herself. NO. The pressure she felt was societal pressure. Her school was a tech school. There is too much pressure on us students today compared to other generations. Nothing she did was for herself. It was for everyone else who expected so much from her.

[@kimberlypalmer4744]

anezia You are sooooo right! This girl could have had a bright future. The parents excepted her being so perfect or they would have tried to help her change those thoughts she had about herself.

[@junipers7174]

Kimberly Palmer - Their child died, you don’t know them, I don’t them. So don’t judge.

[@kiaraplunkettwilcox7804]

not always the truth, my friend. coming from someone who’s been there

[@thegiantdiugh4744]

Especially when you suffer from depression and they don’t think it’s real lmfao

[@kelleylynch7256]

Very difficult to call societal pressure a mental health issue.

[@melanie7068]

I don’t mean this to be insensitive to the parents but I wonder how much of this is true? A lot of parents don’t really “see” their children. They see what they WANT to see.

[@elm2908]

Just stop.

[@christineboll9478]

El M: @Laura Adler said it themselves. They aren't trying to be insensitive.

[@ilikechocolate2575]

honestly yea they always seem to wanna expect the best. my parents have seen me selfharm twice and both times they thought it would be fine now that they knew. all parents just seem to let things slip by nowadays

[@user-mv5tm8eu5z]

@@elm2908 stfu

[@ilikechocolate2575]

@mackenzie trxceee yea dont worry about it lmao

[@annon3485]

Depressed people don’t broadcast their sorrow and sadness to the public. They are good at hiding. Update: everyone who keeps disagreeing with me, move on and stop trying to make an argument over something so trivial.

[@DeeDiamond2981]

Not all. My bro speaks and talks abt his days...of lowness .he is on meds

[@annon3485]

Denisa Anthony I’m talking about depressed people who are severely depressed to the point of committing suicide. Your brother chose to get help.

[@letsprayandfasttogether9618]

Nickibeebs do you feel that way? If you do seek help and if you don’t just ignore me

[@annon3485]

John Ortiz are you a medical professional to make that assumption? No.

[@BWEG61]

True so true

[@Monster_Mover_Stocks]

The human mind can be very complex.

[@abelmcguire6252]

Yes and the ego's confused feelings are not real, and when your spirit lacks its ability to push ego out, and say there is no perfection in this world! Your spirit is the only thing that matters and we grow from our struggles, not our perfections, being grateful is the clarity that makes this illusion called life doable!

[@rv292]

This child just wasn't ALLOWED TO BE HERSELF. Nothing complex here. She KNEW everybody's expectations towards her, so she tried her utmost to conform to those. And buried the seed of who she was truly born to be in the process.

[@Monster_Mover_Stocks]

@@rv292 Do you have the habit of over simplifying things that even the most educated and intelligent neuroscientists have trouble explaining?

[@fancyfeast5086]

The Verbally Abusive Clown Rose Viera’s comment was pretty much a crux of the matter, a matter that could have been resolved to some degree if she had been given appropriate counseling and guidance. It’s basic psychology. Yes, the mind is complex but it’s not as if it’s a complete mystery either.

[@wisdomseeker3362]

@@rv292 agree

[@joinmeforasmile4464]

I think this is a good example for the “Golden Child Syndrome”.. I hope wherever she is now, she’ll be peaceful and without all this pressure on her :(

[@zentyler1646]

But isn’t Golden Child Syndrome when a child’s parents put their child upon an unrealistic pedestal that dooms them when they enter the real world?

[@joinmeforasmile4464]

@@zentyler1646 Yes! I'm sure that's one of the many consequences of the Golden Child Syndrome.. Some of them tend to become narcissistic and others, like this girl.. become stressed out because they often fear disappointment the most. "The Golden Child is an elusive challenge personality because they do everything right just the way they are "supposed" to do. These kids are just plain good - they like to play by the rules within whatever adult structure they can find. They are driven to discover what you want from them so they can eagerly offer it to you." - iser.com

[@carmenechevarria2924]

Nobody should take their own life! Sorry but she's not in heaven.... Stop saying she's now resting in peace because others with depression may think that if they end their life they will stop hurting and will be at peace WHICH IS NOT TRUE! YOUR SOUL WILL BE LOST AND WILL SUFFER ETERNALLY! 😢

[@joinmeforasmile4464]

@@carmenechevarria2924 I'm not saying she is now resting in peace.. nobody knows that for sure. It's just what I'm *hoping* for her. "I hope wherever she is now, she'll be peaceful [...]" It's what I hope for everybody when their time comes.. because I think no matter who you are, you at least deserve peace when you die.

[@nicholasmidkiff5813]

@@carmenechevarria2924 Dang you must be fun to be around

[@reneestjean1893]

Alexandra was someone that I looked up to all throughout elementary and middle school. She always made sure that I, being the ‘shy’ kid, felt included and I will forever be thankful that I had a friend like her growing up. I will never forget the time I spent with Alex both in school and out of it, whether that be 4th grade field trips to the zoo or putting on fashion shows with our American girl dolls. My heart goes out to the Valoras family and those close with her ❤️

[@likethewizard_yk]

i am so sorry for your loss.

[@nunyabusiness6450]

@@likethewizard_yk 3:13 in respect of their memory, you might want to refer to them as something other than 'she', since the journal had a line where they said they were dysphoric

[@renaejackson7739]

西西俞 dysphoric means that you are depressed..

[@reneestjean1893]

西西俞 the act of being dysphoric is defined as being in a state of generalized dissatisfaction with life. In Alexandra’s case, she viewed herself as a ‘failure’ and generally more inferior than how others actually perceive her.

[@daisydukes483]

Renee St Jean that’s so sweet and adorable 💕 I’m so sorry for your loss 🌸

[@alwaysbekindlove]

Too much pressure in today’s society. Kids pressured to be adult like. Let your guard down and be free, you are good enough, you are beautiful!

[@LuanaKoch]

so beautiful, definitely, and suicide also can come from friends, so be very aware of what kind of friends you have.

[@brunojacinto1625]

That's the fact no one seems to understand.Sad times.

[@Cubelixa]

She was clinically depressed but was a high functioning depressed person. So sad....

[@alegria1813]

@Juliana Maio Can you explain what is so funny about that please?

[@seppuku6230]

@@alegria1813 cat vape sad why

[@kiriforever1]

Depression stems from a chemical imbalance in the brain; it is a mental illness; just like a deceased body. i.e. cancer. If there is anyone to blame it would be our universal God!

[@gustavsamuel]

@@kiriforever1 Oh shut up.

[@josemara]

We, depressed people, are very good at hiding our sorrows.

[@cathyt144]

josemara AMEN

[@cathyt144]

Andrea Mendenhall only if it was that simple. Some of us dont have the luxury of having people in our lives that truly care.

[@josemara]

@Andrea Mendenhall it's complicated, and it's also a part of being depressed. You just can't reach out. So, you create and develop a public persona, which is very different from our true selves. Its hard to open up, we just keep to ourselves. Not because we want to, but because it's the way we are.

[@josemara]

@Andrea Mendenhall it's hard. And it's not rational. You don't know the reasons. There are no reasons but brain malfunction. Medicines help a lot, though. Therapy also does. But it's hard.

[@josemara]

@Andrea Mendenhall thanks for being so kind

[@saphire196]

Something needs to change. Perfection is not all that. We need to celebrate each child for who they are, what they like, and what they are good at.

[@peggystoutemorin4529]

Perfection is a myth.

[@Promiseland2024]

Well said!

[@siennavine81]

S S Campbell what’s sad is that she put the pressure on herself to be perfect when she was accepted for who she was by everyone who knew her.

[@victoriafisher1489]

@@siennavine81 Your right but that way of thinking started from something small. Maybe she started hearing her family and friends tell her how perfect she was, or how everything she does is perfect and from there instead of taking it for what it was a compliment, she starts taking those words more literal. Forcing herself to make sure that everything she does is to perfection because she wants everyone to continue to view her that way and after that all it takes is one or two times of not hearing that your perfect to push you down that negative thinking path.

[@zoesinovich6191]

Social media influence is greater than any amount of love a child can get cause kids compare themselves to "picture perfect" influencers that ends up making them feel less than, so much to the point of suicide. Sad

[@Renae5147]

Why is the mother in such denial and confusion that she was so happy? She seems like the type of mother that would probably tell her she had no reason to be sad cause she had a great life. Parents need to open there eyes more and start paying better attention to there kids, even sunshine has a shadow.

[@jalissa4120]

This is so true .

[@laycebug3260]

this

[@Kathy-zx5bu]

Do you have a parenting degree? Many parents don't have time for their kids. I work in Healthcare and I see it everyday.

[@TheOnlyCelciAndDontYouForgetIt]

@@Kathy-zx5bu Why do you say this as if it excuses it lmao? Actually that makes it worse in my opinion if you aren't around for your kids very often not only will they potentially suffer from what feelings could from it but you're more likely to not really know what's going on in their life sure they may seem like they have a perfect life but what if they get bullied relentlessly at school and just never tell you?

[@kaelynparker4449]

@@TheOnlyCelciAndDontYouForgetIt let's not bring bulling into this or ask the what if question.

[@Zzzsleepzzz]

happiness in truly intelligent people is the rarest thing I know

[@jaiyvacook4106]

Omg..... Everyone says I'm smart but I'm never happy 100%

[@ashlynreeves6957]

Idk I think it comes down to the individual. Intellect doesn’t define your individual happiness in my opinion.

[@starlove712]

I agree with you completely

[@omegasage777]

I know exactly what you mean

[@Alice-up4hm]

i was just thinking about this. i'm generally considered smart everywhere i'm known, and i feel like the only reason i'm mentally healthy is because my defense mechanism has been having 100% objectivity whenever possible, no expectations from anyone and prioritizing myself ever since i was a kid. when the smartest, prettiest and kindest people i know tell me about all their insecurities and distress, my heart literally SINKS, what i'd give for them to be able to look at themselves like i do...

[@bellagonzalez241]

I can relate with Alexandria. I consider myself as having a functional depression. When I'm at work or around people I'm so happy and functional but when I'm at home in my own world its another different story, it's like the monster of depression takes over and I cant control it

[@singmysong1167]

thanks for sharing, Bella. There are some others who are or have gone through that same depression. Young Steven Bancarz was into New Age, etc. heavily, and depressed, had to get rid of alot of paraphenalia to receive help from above. Actually he burned them all. Another man, Derek Prince, has quite a few vids on depression, but not titled that way. I highly recommend listening to them. Hope this helps, or just a start towards helping you. God bless.

[@charmander1370]

I found recovery from depression by seeking Jesus. He loves you very much

[@whitney3888]

Grace G Not everyone is religious.

[@imanif829]

Bella Gonzalez i used to have functional depression and i got alot better out of nowhere, by praying and talking to my family. One day i just said enough, my parents and my sister, my family and my friends love me so much and would be so distraught if something happened to me. I think thats what made me stop

[@natashamendez6064]

Bella Gonzalez this is how I feel as well but I opened up to one close friend of mine and a few days ago I broke down crying at school. I didn’t want my friends to see how broken and upset I truly was. I wanted them to see the happy side of me and because of my breakdown my friends thought I was mad at them and that just made me feel awful and didn’t help with what I was feeling.

[@leilani_808]

My oldest daughter cried her heart out to me one day. She said "do you know how hard it is to be the 'good girl?' To be the 'responsible, smart kid'? When I hear you talking to auntie them about me being such a 'great kid', it makes me feel like I can't mess up in front of anyone - that I need to be perfect! I know you mean well but it really is too much pressure on myself to be a 'good girl' all the time." She said this to me when she was in high school. Today she's a 26 year old mother and wife and she brings the conversation up every now and then. As a parent I really was just so proud of my daughter, you can also say that I would "brag" on how great of an achiever she really was. But I had NO IDEA that it was causing my daughter so much anxiety and grief. That was not my intent. Anyways, my 2nd daughter - at first it was hard for me to see that her grades wasn't as great as her oldest sister - BUT I've never pressured her to be this great and wonderful, perfect kid. In doing so, she figured out how to get better grades but most of all she was such a happy kid! This all happened years ago - I now have 5 daughters (ages 26 to 3 lol I know, I'm blessed) and as much as I think I know how to be an awesome mother - I am still learning! This morning I told my 5 year old daughter how proud I am of her for aceing both her math and reading test. Now I see this video and reminds me of my daughter's words. How do I balance this? After 26 tears, I promise you - parenting never gets any easy but the love and patience I have for my children is genuine and pure! To the parents of this beautiful girl - I am so very sorry for your lost.❤️🙏🏼

[@earlgrey4013]

That’s so beautiful❤️ I was frightened that the story would end badly but I’m glad you figured a better way of handling it. You are truly blessed. I wish you well. 💕

[@ferencercseyravasz7301]

Just try to show them that you love and appreciate them them no matter what. It's not a function of their attitude, or of their achievements. And really show it. As a matter of fact, you need to show that to them the best way you can when they fail. Because that's when they feel alone, that's when they feel like they disappointed you. You should let them know that there is no such thing as them letting you down. You want the best for them but no matter what happens and how they do in life, you are proud of them because of who they are, not because of what they do. And whatever they say, whatever they complain about, take them very seriously and listen. Because in your adult mind those might seem like insignificant problems, teenage drama. But to them those are very real and very serious. And how you see it is unimportant. What matters is how they see it.

[@aligningducks5887]

Google "praise children for effort not intelligence" and you should find some interesting stuff.

[@estelleschneider9033]

It is a mistake for a parent to say About a success a child has..I feel so proud of you or any other externals We were taught in early Childhood Ed to encourage self validation I see you did..how does that make you feel For successes begin inside of them It a parent constantly strokes from the outside A child learns to look outside themselves for validation and it will become a learned behaviour that can be crippling We are taught to observe and seek and ask about their feelings about what they have done or performed. Even failures ..are accepted and they are loved too because failures teach us and we are still loved in it. I hope I am clear..it starts young inside them not outside It is emotional well being Love

[@Doriesep6622]

I wish every parent in the world could read what you wrote. Don't brag on kids constantly. That becomes their whole identity.

[@kopec82]

She was so pressured to be perfect that she never could breath! depression is really serious!

[@aftersexhighfives]

But she pressured herself. I feel that there is a facet to this story that is missing. An event that affected her. Something that was missed by everyone. I don't think this could have been prevented. Her best friends didn't think her behavior was abnormal. If anything this makes me want to invade my kid's privacy in the future and look for their notebooks. Ugh. Parenting.

[@eternal.prospect]

@@aftersexhighfives I disagree. The pressure was undoubtedly coming from the parents and those who expected more of her.

[@aftersexhighfives]

@@eternal.prospect I disagree based on what the parents said and how they said it. In grief we don't really think and those raw statements are telling. Finding that shattered their world even more and I still say there's something everyone missed. Where the fire began. We have all the kindling piled up but do not have the source of the fire.

[@margievanpetten777]

and you know that how? did she tell you? did you pull out the ouiji board and ask? dont assume things about or speak for others when they can't speak for themselves.

[@brandinisen1985]

Aftersex Highfives w

[@reveluvreveluv7257]

Hearing goner again just sent me right back to my darkest place for a moment

[@makmcgalliard]

Me too

[@samalam5459]

This is random but are you an army

[@savageking2567]

Very random

[@velvss]

Hits hard 😞💔

[@zuzu6864]

Love ur Jin pic 😂

[@H.Liddell]

Oh wow, her mother is something else. "She put that stress on herself." We never put pressure like that on her." Wow

[@badbunny9242]

Can i get a time stamp?

[@crashb0mb]

@@badbunny9242 7:14

[@rawiii5578]

But that can be true though.

[@IlaughedIcried]

That is, in fact, EXACTLY what my abusive narcissistic sociopath of a mother used to say to everyone regarding my teenage perfectionism, depression and suicidality....while in truth, my entire worth as a human being was based on the perfection and achievement she set up for me. Love was conditional, and earned by Olympic-level achieving, and there was NO achievement big enough to actually earn it. Every day, between the ages of 8 and 18, I debated whether to end my life. It's still amazing to me that I didn't. That I made it out of that house of psychological torture.

[@mumonkey13000]

My parents never ever said I needed to get all As but I decided if I got a B in high school I was an utter failure. I don't know why I decided this. My university of choice took very average gpas. I didn't need all As

[@christineg5411]

to all reading this, you are precious, you are loved... ♡

[@Clintsessentials]

💜💜💜

[@lisalamorey3453]

Awww You as well✨💗✨

[@mpacino1224]

Christina Grannes it is nice of you to say that. But these kids hear that all the time. Sadly it's deeper than that. My nephew is gone and he had the best parents. My parents were emotionally and physically abusive (although I loved them anyway) and we did not commit suicide. My sister went out of her way to be a better parent than that. But even still she lost her child. There is just so much more to it.

[@TheScarlett618]

Christine -You are a SWEETHEART :)

[@elisamondragon2849]

What if just two old people love me?

[@imakefoodhappen]

"She put that pressure on herself." Yeah, right.

[@amaryisblr2235]

imakefoodhappen thought I was the only one that noticed there’s something off. I highly doubt her parents put zero pressure on her

[@justinegonzalez9460]

AsyaMoriarty why do you say that?what is your opinion on this case?

[@emmay3022]

Something was definitely off about the parents

[@robingriffin42]

@@emmay3022 Why do you say that?

[@Keeva-]

Sometimes I think parents don't realise the pressure they are putting on their kids. Even pride and praise can be interpreted as immense pressure if they only receive it when they've done well. I think parents sometimes forget to tell their kids that they love them anyway. That it's great to do well, but that their love and pride doesn't have a cost and is unconditional. They might think they are encouraging their child, when in fact they're pushing them over the edge. Good parenting is hard. It's incredibly hard to always get it right, and a terrible price to pay if they get it wrong.

[@franissketchy3908]

“She was such a happy girl” not really. Always check on your loved ones ❤️

[@michellereames1680]

I've heard it said before to be sure to check in with the friend who is always there for others, the strong friend.... because they will easily mask it just as well.

[@Brenananana]

My best guess is that she had OCD like me, honestly, which lead to her depression. it can manifest as perfectionism where you feel inatiquite at every miniscule mistake, even though you are doing so well comparatively. It also explains why she always seemed happy and never reached out for help, which is very sad. It's easy for me now to say "This isn't me. This is my disorder. I love myself and I've done well, or at least learned something." I hope her family and friends finds peace.

[@elishamarie81]

By far the most intelligent comment here.

[@HCEveningWalk]

I also struggle with that although undiagnosed and am happy you found a way to cope with it :) It's more difficult for us when we don't have a good support system. Positive thinking yields positive results. There is always hope as long as we are breathing. Much love.

[@bulletsfordinner8307]

I really think I experience this as I'm very exigent and perfectionist with myself. So much that it stops me from doing anything I truly enjoy

[@moronsafetybot662]

HCEveningWalk did u self diagnose

[@kunalkiran3318]

I think I am not sure if I say should say this and this is not meant to invalidate or anything, But I think you meant OCPD and not OCD. The reason is everytime I was reading the notes shown in the video, I could feel a weird similarity. Now that you said Perfectionism, I felt like, yes it could be OCPD. I was diagnosed with it some 10 years back and have struggled all my life. I have had CBT. But my family has done all they could to help me, but this is something that no one understands. That sense of failure, that pain is too much. I have felt suicidal years back but committing it required a decision and my perfectionism would not ever let me decide the if it was the perfect decision. I feel for her. All i wish to say is everyone is beautiful. We may not understand at times... But speak out. All these ego centric disorders are difficult because we think this is how it is and nothing is wrong with us. I do not know what I said and why I said, but just wanted to say. Hugs all.

[@MasterMoore2010]

I just watch this video. And it touched me so deeply I immediately text my son. To let him know that I love him very much. Considering this is his first year in college. And I was putting a lot of expectations on him. So I truly appreciate the fact that you are sharing this video. It has made a difference in our lives.

[@aftersexhighfives]

Tell him he's a hard worker and you're proud of him. You have to fail to enjoy success. Life can't be all success and that's ok. When we fail we don't truly fail unless we give up. Don't constantly remind him of things he needs to do. He knows. He'll ask for you to help him remember if he needs it. Listen to what he needs. You're a great parent.

[@ddaymare]

You are a great parent, I wish everyone could be like you.

[@kathleenosteen6446]

@@aftersexhighfives It would seem the father knew what to say on his own as he has a relationship with his son and knows him better than we do. I think Dad did a fantastic job on his own.

[@aftersexhighfives]

@@kathleenosteen6446 go away, Karen.

[@DuyLe-mi1px]

What did you expect from him? You should let him live his life and make his own decisions. Expectation is deadly for certain people.

[@someubersweetness]

As a person who lost several friends to suicide in high school I can’t believe they read portions of her diary to her friends. That would cause so much psychological damage to those poor kids, it’ll haunt them forever.

[@willowlambert791]

I concur💯, that never should have been done. That could make them have bad thoughts, like as in we were her friends we should have seen some sign and done something. It could make them blame themselves also, which they should not do...

[@caity6208]

I'm sorry for your losses

[@jjba3571]

Yeah that tells a lot OF HER PARENTS, not boundaries, they reck of narcissist abuse

[@lazynomad42]

@@jjba3571 reck? what does that mean?

[@Mari-eq8rx]

ikr, why tf they they do that. poor girls

[@miqqio]

The way her mom said “She put that on herself” was just disgusting to me.

[@jjba3571]

Like trying to blame her even on death.... she sounds like she tried to shift blame to me , sounds like mommy put the preasure instead

[@chimjinxii2130]

True

[@mattheww239]

I mean from her diary it sounds like she did put the pressure on herself. The diary didn’t mention anyone else, and if it had they probably would’ve reported it.

[@jjba3571]

@@mattheww239 yeah cuz she was brainwashed since childhood that she didnt do enought, she was young, so young she didnt grasp the preasure she had, she was so young she didnt get that by that age having that stress is not normal neither funtional. Is just not magically happen you know, stress anxiety come from somewhere, narcissist mom blame it on their kids, they believe it is their fault for acting up upon abuse BUT NO, IS NOT being overdramatic or overemotional, is a normal response when being mistreat. Mom; why are so so slow ! Try harder, why arent you like your cousin Kid: i will try harder Mom: it seems you dont try hard enought, maybe you do it on porpuse to angry me ! Kid: mom this isnt about you Mom: you are so disrespectful ! Kid: sorry mom starts crying and blame herself Something like that, dude you DONT KNOW HOW AGILE ARE NARCISSSIT to shameshift, gaslight and no hold any accoutability ! Why THAT mom didnt say soemthing more empathetic like "why didnt notice the signals sooner! " And cry like a healty mom that miss her child due to suicide ? Nah she even on death blame her daugher... sus af

[@mattheww239]

@@jjba3571 are you a psychologist? Did you study Amy’s case, was she your patient? I know I’m being rude to you but for you to diagnose someone like that and blame the mother for this tragic death is presumptuous, especially since your opinion is derived from her mother purely saying “she put pressure on herself”.

[@pekopekoyama4945]

The song “Goner” playing in the background really struck me, if she listened to that song we have something in common. I’m sorry she went through this, she was a beautiful girl. I’m so sorry.

[@oliviaestonee]

Bandito _clikkie yes. it’s such a depressing but beautiful song. i love the band itself as well. they got me through a lot. i hope you’re doing ok 🖤

[@coffeewithkarlie]

Same here. I freaked out a little.

[@juliakercsmar6587]

I was looking for this comment. Terribly sad. i think just the editors put it on. Not sure. Though. The song is at 2:07 twenty one pilots goner. If any one will wanan know. I love how tøp has a lot of songs about holding out.

[@genesisramos9326]

|-/

[@MG-gs9jv]

It gave me chills stay alive ||-//

[@SpiralBreeze]

You can tell she’s not happy in those pics. Her EYES aren’t happy. Her parents had her doing so much. You can’t be busy all the time.

[@neptuneballs2770]

Yeah I noticed that too

[@sarahblancas6693]

She looked happy. You never think your friends or family could be going through something like this.

[@gsiya4023]

She looked happy but wasn't I hate ppl who tell everything when the person has already done the act like dude

[@bangchan7817]

Perfectionism is one of the most hurtful things in the big abyss of depression. To all of you that have this just know you are good enough even when you think you aren’t.

[@fieldmouse8910]

💛

[@courtneykirk478]

What do you say to those who are imperfect? Or balanced?

[@bangchan7817]

@@courtneykirk478 everyone is imperfect in their own way cause no one can be perfect. If your balanced and imperfect and you can accept it then embrace it. As long as you don’t expect perfection from yourself and you’re okay with your flaws then you are going to be just fine

[@courtneykirk478]

@@bangchan7817 Huuuuuuuuuug.

[@pamelaspokes3761]

This is part of the reason that the university scandal is extra bad...these kids from regular families work so hard and try to hard "what will it take to get into MIT?" For some it will just be money...and it won't cost them their lives

[@ns2110theonly]

pamela spokes couldn’t agree more.

[@CyberDancerDany]

Agreed. I actually went to her school and I can agree it’s a high pressure school and I often found myself putting tons of pressure on myself. I wasn’t diagnosed with an anxiety disorder until 2 months after graduation.

[@elisamondragon2849]

Like Jared Kushner who got into Harvard with money but not qualifications

[@misme5086]

You are so so right.....

[@twotoned2705]

pamela spokes this is a POWERFUL & IMPORTANT statement & aspect of the problem!!!!!

[@nyanayboi4953]

There is something really off about her parents

[@vintagemint3167]

Yea... I feel like something more happened

[@saracockrell8025]

Me too

[@libby2026]

they just lost their daughter?? she literally killed herself and they had no idea what was going on it was a total surprise you would be “off” too. have some respect.

[@libby2026]

VintageMint more happened?? are you serious?? their daughter died and you are trying to say they had something to do with it

[@nyanayboi4953]

libby I understand but they did spend most of the time blaming her for putting all the stress on herself, it’s off

[@duckamuck1756]

This is why watching Mister Rogers neighborhood should be mandatory viewing for all children. He was all about not having to be perfect, just be you.

[@RavenWolfDrum69]

Right

[@Patricia-zt8ub]

I could not stand his show so it may not help every kid.

[@addabell4815]

Duck Amuck Things like this will still happen, so really it doesn’t matter.

[@Sun-KhissedSkin]

I remember watching that show as a child

[@Sun-KhissedSkin]

@kevin15chopper his sweater game what's on point

[@thehairline180]

The problem is she was probably aiming to high, she was a high achiever but probably thought that things weren't good enough.

[@seriousnesstv7902]

And maybe she lacked having faith in her life, God, for example helps with these things, prayers and church can help with these things.

[@HaoHao-zu6su]

SeriousnessTV no

[@behabtwa]

Hāo Hāo key word CAN.

[@SweetyD2023]

@@seriousnesstv7902 That sure is a bold face comment! How do you know that she didn't?! Teens go through so much. They are crossing over from children to be young adults. Their hormones are going crazy at these ages. I think she was a high achiever & felt she let herself down! Her parents seem lovely & are heart broken! They would have listened to her like what their doing now trying to save parents from this result. This is why I checked my daughters book bag once in awhile. I found some disturbing things when she was in tenth grade. She actually felt relieved that I knew. She even thanked me. I was able to sit her down & talk to her making her feel like she could tell me anything & she did. There were things that I didn't like but I tried to handle it gently with some good advice. You can't just tell your teen to go sit in a corner anymore for punishment. They really don't care if you take their things away either. She is now 30 years old & she told me she was raising her boys the way I raised her. There can't be any other compliment so great to me than that. RIP sweet girl. For the family, I'm sorry for your loss.

[@luisc7291]

@@SweetyD2023 because she killed her self.

[@hamarbabiangnongsiej8277]

Alexandre in her own words :- " I need a place where there is no need for me to be perfect", I think she's been pressured by somebody to be perfect..

[@availanila]

She could have been pressuring herself

[@MB-nb7yq]

@@availanila yeah some people when they are good at a lot of things they want to be perfect at it all.

[@EddheadAce]

It's like when you tell a joke and somebody doesn't get it, you just want to keep pushing it and make it work. Once you start acting a certain way it feels so wrong to go back. I understand.

[@ft.jackjimmy7282]

It doesn't have to be somebody, society in general. I'm 23 but only by 20 years old I taught myself to stop comparing myself to others. I'd always throw hate toward myself whenever I met someone that got a research position, or a paid internship, or scholarships, etc. No one told me to be perfect, but the love and praise for people that are perfect are reasons I tell myself I need to get to that level if I want to be loved or praised. After this realization, I started failing and I love it, I'm no longer paralyzed by perfection.

[@interstella5555]

She even writes "Because I am supposed to be perfect no exceptions"

[@geetika7856]

i'm going to be real, the twenty one pilots really caught me off guard.

[@Vart]

It made it sadder :(

[@geetika7856]

@@Vart yeah, I was almost crying

[@tara-sd2kc]

geetika rhea kaul yep same

[@qquinnifer]

me too, I was not expecting that

[@geetika7856]

@@tara-sd2kc I love your username

[@joseaod15]

As someone who does not suffer from depression, videos like this one make me realize that I need to be more emotionally available to those around me. My condolences to this family... what a tragedy.

[@coffeewithkarlie]

When twenty one pilots played I literally died a little inside. Oh dear.

[@juliakercsmar6587]

Same.

[@genesisramos9326]

Same |-/

[@alineymsht]

another one of us is gone and it hurts

[@cindyl.7233]

I got goosebumps

[@amalia2390]

aline yamashita that’s what I thought as well l-/

[@itsameman]

Poor sweet girl was hurting so deeply inside but too fearful to confide in anyone. I'm in my thirties now and I still deal with bouts of depression. I remember being a teenager and doing much like this young lady by keeping everything to myself fearful that sharing my despair would only draw unwanted worrying/sympathy/questioning/attention to a bunch of feelings that I just wanted to go away . I hope her parents can understand that this was NOT their fault. Mental illness, especially in teens, is such a complex issue. It is astounding how well we as human-beings can hide our true feelings from everyone around us while feeling what seems like an unbearable weight crushing down our spirit yet maintaining an outward appearance that everything is okay. My heart aches for her family and friends and also for the young life that was lost. Mental illness is real and it needs some real attention in our society if we hope to prevent more tragedies such as this.

[@terryfriend16]

Life is good. Don't worry. Listen to the birds, they always have a song.

[@veganworldpeace2649]

My life and adolescence experiences are very much the same as you describe and still somewhat as I age into my 60s. I still do not tell everyone about the extremes of my moods and the too frequent suicidal feelings and thoughts.

[@JacqsieRae]

Well said...so so sad. I lost a son in 1998…was 16…murdered... Last year in October...my daughter lost our 8month old baby to SIDS..I know what loss is..our whole family n friends do too 💔

[@cathyt144]

VeganWorld Peace i know where youre coming from on not sharing with others about your feelings. I get so depressed at times and feel so hopeless that i find myself thinking about just ending it all and i wont have to suffer any longer. The sad part is that i would prob be laying for at least a week before anyone even bothered to check on me. I have dogs, birds and a cat inside my home and thats prob why i cant go thru with it because they would all starve and suffer and that just wouldnt be fair to them. Im 58 ,in poor health, on a low fixed income and barely scrape by from one month to the next. I get so tired of having to stress out over stupid $. I miss work and being out in the world at times. But ive been by myself so long now that i dread havn to go out in public and deal with people. Im afraid to tell my dr or my kids about my thoughts because i dnt want to be locked up in a mental facility .i pray the Lord blesses you and gives you what and who you need to help you thru the tough times. I pray for Gods strength to hold you up when you cant do it for yourself. 🙏😇

[@f.acostaa9429]

well written, it's so heartbreaking

[@ferencercseyravasz7301]

Am I the only one who feels that there's something wrong in this story, that something doesn't quite match? Those degrading sentences sound like things that she must have heard over and over and over again from someone who mattered a lot to her. I am a former teacher. I taught many adolescents and I've seen many families, parents who were perfectly convinced that everything is just freaking dandy while pushing those "overachieving" teens to the brink of collapse. Most teachers thought the same. Yet if I would have revealed the names of those who were routinely self-harming, they would have freaked out and I'm pretty sure that their reaction would have made things better. Plus I never betrayed the trust that those kids gave me. I had many of them in my classroom after classes just crying for hours and telling me about the many things, many words that went unnoticed to others but caused them a lot of pain. Their parents thought that everything is just perfect and they're doing the best thing by pushing them always harder and harder and not being happy with anything less than the best grades in every single subject... I'm not saying that this is what happened here. I'm not saying that the parents are to blame for what happened. But something doesn't add up. I've seen many instances of depression and yes, it's very good at hiding itself. But not that good. If you're close enough to a teen, there's always a moment when she's not that guarded, when you catch his/her eye and realize that something isn't OK. If I could do it as a mere teacher, so can a parent. Many parents have to realize that "How was school today?" is not the way to talk to our kids. That's a forced artificial attempt to have a conversation and they know it. So they will tell you the answer that you want to hear and you'll be happy: you're talking to your teen, you care. First and foremost we have to listen. What sounds like simple teenage drama to us, can be very serious to them. Rest in peace dear child! Again, I don't mean to blame anyone, I'm just left with too many unanswered questions.

[@kandie3127]

I could never say in her case. I can say that I used to write that type of abusive stuff out about/to myself when it didn't hurt me enough to say it to myself in my mind or even out loud. Idk why but I hate myself sometimes. It's been over 5 years since then & over 15 since I was plotting my own suicide as a teen in foster care. No one TOLD me the ugly things, they SHOWED me they were true, in my mind. The more you tell yourself something, you'll start to believe it. You sound like an incredible teacher & person. Thank you for being an open, warm place for so many hurting kids. I guarantee they'll never forget you. I can see the battle in this young lady's mind in the cake/candles video. It's like she was feeling guilty that she couldn't enjoy it more for THEIR sakes but I can see how important her family was to her, too. It's a very short moment but she kinda looks down then glazes over (eyes, pushes back the depression & most likely, suicidal thoughts) then she looks up & around at her family's faces, then back at the candles. Fakes a smile & enjoyment, tries to find that once magical feeling you had as a small child again but it's non existent anymore. Maybe I'm looking too close but I could argue some don't look nearly close enough.

[@cg0825]

She could've had a much deeper rooted mental illness. We will never know. She may have heard voices or simply just had thoughts in her head that she couldn't get rid of.

[@_Min__Min_]

Personally, I am a teen with depression I am 15, and I had depression since I was 13. I hid it from basically everyone including my parents for a year and a half. Nobody noticed anything. My parents at most, might have thought I was just a insecure teen. My friends didn't notice anything including my best friend. Quite literally only one person notice and even he said it took a long time and that most likely nobody notice beside him. Now most of my close friends know and so does my parents because I just got straight up tired of pretending I was fine (it was also because the boy made me feel comfortable about talking about my depression, so I got more comfortable with telling my other friends). Basically yes, depression is good at hiding itself. Very good. Even if most of my close friends and my parents know, 75% of them only know that I am depressed. Nothing else. Only three people really only know anything I considered "detailed". Even if I told all of them I was depressed (including the onces that I told detail to), I still pretend I am fine in front of them due to a lot of reasons (not wanting to be a burden, not wanting to be dependent, etc). This is just my perspective, I don't speak for everyone obv, I can only speak for myself.

[@sugarjones8047]

"Something doesn't add up" OBVIOUSLY! That's the whole point of the video. It doesn't make any sense. If her parents read your comment ALL they're going to feel is guilty for not doing enough. Do you really think they need you, a stranger, to guilt them any more than they already feel?

[@Doriesep6622]

So many suicides in Japan because of children being pushed.

[@loganscchaos_]

As someone with serve depression. Hiding is the easiest part. Living is what we are struggling to do. That moment when the father said *“I was just hoping for warmth”.* That really struck me :(

[@jessicaaudate]

i thought that was odd. most times you hear peopling say "their body was so cold" idk

[@noliamillett6160]

Dad really creep me out, hidden secrets from within this child, a child life is silent if they can not speak, because of fear.

[@princessjen03]

You can tell how incredibly smart she is by her handwriting. Her brain is going faster than she can write therefore it is harder to read. Poor girl put too much pressure on herself to be the best at everything. RIP sweetie.

[@trunksbearlly5064]

There is no correlation to that but okau

[@remybutler6473]

☝🏼

[@Sacheen81]

My 10 year old little brother killed himself before school one morning 40 years ago. As the oldest kid, oldest person, at home that morning I still blame myself for not seeing something that was wrong. The pain of Michael's loss never fades. 💔 God bless these parents, I hope their brave message helps.

[@andreadoolen9532]

I’ll be praying for you and you family.

[@lynnmahan154]

Please stop blaming yourself. You've held onto that for far too long. Your brother was rich to have such a loving sibling during his short time on earth. Holding you both in my heart. ❤💙

[@bluesbulletin]

My mom read my teenage diaries many years later before she passed away and said she didn't realize how little she knew me. I think depressed teens do make an attempt to be heard, but they don't continue to hit people over the head with it. People believe what they want to believe about you. Pain is internalized and nobody knows.

[@kaw18thar]

Teen mind is a dangerous zone. I remember the first time I had a suicide thought. It was during senior high school. I was A student and just under the pressure to do well in exams and, for the first time ever, I thought: “what if this heavy object fell over me? Then I will die and won’t have to deal with exams anymore”. Never before that moment have I ever experienced suicide thoughts. I went downhill from there. To all teenagers out there, never give a suicide thought any power over you. The minute it crosses your mind for the first time dismiss it as a horrible thought and think of the beautiful things in life. I cheered that thought when it crossed my mind for the first time and the price I payed was horrible. I had to go to extreme depths to fight depression. Don’t let it sneak to you in the first place.

[@patrickslastbraincell7685]

kaw18thar thank you for this message. I got my first suicidal thought when I was twelve and it’s been almost 2 years but am improving.

[@Remi23986]

Kimberly Contreras Stay strong❤️

[@icelandicfaeinPNW]

I appreciate the sentiment but dismissing intrusive thoughts isn't as easy as thinking happy thoughts

[@alegria1813]

The funny thing is I get intrusive thoughts about suicide but I don't wanna die, I really don't

[@ozone8897]

I had my first suicide thought when I was 7

[@konabashi6808]

7:11 what she said got my blood boiling.

[@sunnybunnysky]

Ever heard of societal pressure? I am the same way as her and my parents never had anything to do with it.

[@TL-sb9iv]

I was scrolling thru the comments looking for this. I noticed that also. Her tone seems weird, it is like she is placing blame on her daughter. If she was talked to this way growing up it could've definitely influenced her perfectionistic tendencies

[@cbrandt41]

Couldn'tthinkofausername 2 v

[@kawaiixkuma4219]

Lady Contessa yeah she seemed kinda disrespectful and she seems like she’s blaming her for the pressure when it’s not her fault some people just get depressed like that 😖😫

[@MsTinkerbelle87]

I think it was a bit of both..

[@danibradshaw]

I believe that no one just kills themselves, I believe there is a reason, this girl was so good at faking her smiles ,the more she faked it the more broken she felt. Parents don't know there children, and that's just sad.

[@cam-yt1wy]

I’m so blessed to have parents that will make me sit down every once and s while and have a good, deep conversation about how I’m doing. I’m also happy that they know depression can happen to anyone no matter the circumstances.

[@auntcynauntcyn8392]

I’m so sorry but I disagree. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this scenario. It’s why suicide is the number two killer of children. Followed only by accidents. And how many accidents may have been suicide? There is such duality of what we show others and how we feel about ourselves.

[@tslover865]

@@cam-yt1wy aww your parents seem sweet 🥰

[@kayla7562]

@@auntcynauntcyn8392 exactly. Those are facts you’re bringing to the table unlike so many others leaving pointless comments talking badly about her poor parents that already feel bad enough.

[@tordyclark]

Her parents are denying her existence. They're saying EVERYTHING she said in the opposite. This is disturbing. They're claiming she was motivated, talented, accomplished. Yet her words are literally opposite. They didn't see her. Disturbing. I blame over praise. Saying "you're so great" to kids all the time is very damaging to them.

[@kornilious]

Tordy Clark She had major depression. And she hid it very well. So of course her words are gonna be completely different than her parents. Because her parents only saw what she wanted them to see. I don’t think it was the parents praising her too much but rather her expecting way to much of herself.

[@overworked1084]

Yes her parents being positive is why she killed herself. Geeze- it is called mental illness. People go to great length to hide it.

[@kawaiixkuma4219]

Yeah I was depressed for 6 years and I never told anyone it was driving me crazy but I didn’t want me to concern my parents so I never told them I would cry in private all the time and I would hide all the pain and fake a smile then I finally told someone I felt so much better do not do what I did once you are feeling sad and depressed please tell someone IMMEDIATELY !! It feels so so much better Remember I love you all and I’m rooting for you God is Also he loves you so so much he loves you with an everlasting love you are beautiful you are worth the world !! Please seeek help when you are feeling sad please💕 stay strong I love you and God loves you.

[@bulletsfordinner8307]

I agree. Saying that too much can push a kid to try to keep excelling which is not healthy at all. Breaking former accomplishments.

[@elm2908]

Tordy Clark this is such a disrespectful comment! Imagine if her parents were to read it.

[@Soluchi-InfiniteCoCreatorGod]

Being multi-talented and very intelligent is both a blessing and a curse. Rest in Perfect Peace, Alexandra.

[@welter5765]

The fact that she was listening to “Goner” before she took her own life makes me double sad. I am sorry no one was there for her.

[@ermelinda2223]

Nobody was there for her because she acted super happy. She was faking it. It’s super sad but the reality is that nobody was there because nobody knew :(

[@haninfadel4790]

She was tired of being so perfect because everybody expect so much from her. RIP

[@thehairline180]

I think the problem was her expecting so much of herself rather than everyone else.

[@margievanpetten777]

and you know that how exactly? i dont suppose you asked her did you? don't say that everyone expected things of her when you didn't even really know her.

[@SweetyD2023]

@@thehairline180 I agree.

[@rkbush27]

It doesn't matter the age as we can all have the same feelings.

[@Clintsessentials]

True

[@michaelwertzy9808]

​@@Clintsessentials, one of the most universal, and saddest truths is that nobody knows what is going on in another's mind, no matter how close we think we are to someone we love. I'm 63 and hadn't been diagnosed with major clinical depression and bipolar disorder until I was 47. My family doctor, who was an "old school" MD, GP. He always told me "Michael you'll be fine, you're just going through a "stage" in your life, that everybody experiences"

[@ChristineJonah88]

Yes. I'm 50 and life's struggles can just be so hard.

[@madikat9021]

That is true however the teenage depression epidemic is one to be discussed more

[@thevampire6065]

Actually the age does matter it has been scientifically proven that teenagers are more prone to suicide and depression than any other age group

[@raspberrypie2528]

I can’t believe that the English teacher was still like ‘she was a number one student’. She died because everyone put pressure on her to be the best and she couldn’t take it!

[@loreanna]

To be fair, the interviewer asked the teacher "Where does [her intellect] rank [...]?" and he answered the question that was asked, and sure ideally he would have said something about how that isn't important and the important thing is her pain and her mental state through it all. That being said, I completely agree with you in that the pressure combined with her undiagnosed depression is what killed her.

[@natmaccc]

We need to stop putting this much pressure on these kids. This is heartbreaking. She had way too much going on along with the depression. RIP angel.

[@nait51]

her writing is distressed too not the usual young girl handwriting...

[@lindasvalesen5237]

There are no girl and boy handwriting.....

[@Louzyy]

@@lindasvalesen5237 no there isnt lisa but lets imagine tha my school as 700 students like 300 are girls( im making this numbers up). I bet that 80%-90% of those girls have a good and more how can i say this... More "pretty" hanwriting than the rest of the 400 boys... Im not saying boys cant or dont have good handwriting but in my class if u collect all the 18 books that we usually take our notes in u will see that the best and more "pretty" and organized books sre from girls... And he is right is not normal handwriting too a teen ager of her age.. too distressed it means something was wrong like some sentimental probelms or family or other things..

[@singmysong1167]

@@Louzyy ...I believe you. When I was younger, my writing was smooth and rounded and uniform. Now not so much.

[@chrysichrysi7889]

True, that's what I noticed as well.

[@jacobdaniel5702]

the handwriting of a note taker actually

[@monicakelly6273]

My dear friend was the happiest, funniest, coolest person to be around. He hung himself our senior year.....he was 17. His family only let his note be read by close friends, and of course immediate family. The note broke my heart. This was 20 years ago.

[@TheYokaione]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend!😭 When I was in high school a friend of my friends committed suicide!😭 Because of that they would skip school on the day that he committed suicide!😭

[@mehmey]

It’s somewhat comforting to know Alexandra’s passing will not be in vain. These parents are out there doing something with their tragic, tragic loss. How heartbreaking yet incredibly inspiring.

[@estefaniaibanezreyes4078]

This is way more than depression. Just look at her strange handwriting... her goals... the fact that she needed to be more than perfect in everything... I’ve had depression for about 20 years, and it’s finally being treated this year. Most people don’t know that side of me, but they would never say I’m the happiest, most motivated person. That’s how I know that there was so much more to that than this. She was extremely troubled.

[@marlanaferro1558]

I wonder if Alexandra's depression was rooted in something other than academic pressure? She was known as an extremely intelligent, highly motivated academic achiever who didn't have to stress much because it came naturally. Why the sudden stress then? What caused the sudden shift in her psyche? Something ruptured in her psyche, causing a severe emotional disturbance, which then led to her excruciating self-loathing. Alexandra didn't like herself. Also, there's something shady about her friends, those two girls who were interviewed. Wolves in sheeps' clothing.

[@audreyloveland7617]

2020 will mark 20 years since my suicide attempt at 12 years old. I reflected a lot of what this beauty wrote of in her journal. I finally told my parents about the hatred, sadness, and isolation I was experiencing. Best thing EVER!!!! Please open up and talk to someone if you are feeling sad, there is no shame.

[@moonbeam1425]

On the day I tried to commit suicide at the age of 16, and failed, my father beat me while my mom was yelling “hit her, hit her”. So much for opening up to some parents. Needless to say it took a lot of therapy to get over the event. I’m glad I failed. I love life. I just couldn’t take the stress of the abuse from my father and the chaos he created for our entire family. I ran away at 16 to save my life.

[@allisonmccall1421]

@@moonbeam1425 oh my god I'm so sorry, ur such a strong person❤

[@ithacacomments4811]

I am 68 years old and I remember the inner push when I was young to be perfect. I had an inner standard that boiled inside of me. I was the oldest child and very early on in life I realized that if I did well I got praise and attention from everyone. So I believe that some children try to be have perfect behaviors to get attention and some children have bad behaviors to get attention. I was in my 40s before I came to the place in my head where a voice said,...."It is okay to just be me." and slowly the inner voice went away and was replaced by a voice that said, "sometimes doing something well is good enough."

[@khm2128]

Beautifully said, Ithaca.

[@ellajackson4272]

Amen, all we can ever do is our best

[@swaeleesleftleg8884]

Ithaca Comments this hits hard. Wow

[@jonniehickson5599]

I think it is pressure on just being the first born, the eldest child. I'm 54 and I'm the oldest out of my family I was faced with high expectations and had to sacrifice alot for my youngest siblings. It still causes me to have problems as an adult. It is for certain why I decided not to have children.

[@wanderingpotato3440]

Whoa, that voice is my fiancé. I'm perfectionist before but then he opened my mind and showed be the other side of life. Made me realize it's fine not to be perfect, it's fine to do other things than just studying and it help. Grateful for my fiance 💓

[@bambiimakestheheartgrowfon7013]

When they played Goner I almost lost it. Takes me back to a dark time when I self harmed almost everyday. I had a playlist of songs I would listen to right before/during cutting. I eventually found an outlet and a good therapist about a year after my suicide attempt. So sad we lost such a bright and talented girl.

[@cobytaylor9012]

Bambii makes the heart grow fonder i really understand because I have a similar story, it really is sad to me when people are in this much pain because nobody deserves that 😢

[@hoorainimran3499]

relatives of people who committed suicide always say, "he/she was such a happy person". this just shows how good they'd been at faking happiness.

[@CocoPink44]

we are all a deep sea of secrets

[@autumnt.allgood8895]

CocoPink44 SO VERY TRUE.

[@bookiea3918]

No truer words have been said...

[@PatchworkRose567]

Perfectionism doesn’t usually come from nothing. It comes from either overly strict parents that expect a lot from their child or teachers that see the student’s good grades and try to push them towards an unhealthy perfection.

[@charmander1370]

Thank you for making this known

[@bre7931]

Apparently people who commit suicide are now going to have people saying it’s the parents fault. It’s always someone else’s fault...

[@wendydecrow60]

Actually, you are incorrect. I am convinced you can be born with that kind of wiring. I have a daughter just like this. We spend all our time telling her to relax and enjoy life and that she doesn't have to achieve this or that, and she will have none of it. She INSISTS on working hard and achieving perfection, even when we say she doesn't need to.

[@umitsme9342]

I just realized that I was also competing at SkillsUSA just months before she passed. We were once in the same room. It blows my mind.

[@pamsloan4333]

I taught 11th graders for many years. The high achievers needed more balance. Balance learned by working/being around people that were different from them socially and academically helped them to overcome some of the pressure that they felt. However the real changes were seen when they were working with animals, camping, traveling together or being in situations where they could see that life calls for so much more than just academic success. Balance is so difficult for all of us and every family has to find what works for them. Reflection and journaling for everyone but I still cherish talks with mom and dad as well as letters and poems that my dad wrote to all of us. Adults have to model that life is better when you get busy creating joy and helping others...learning that you have to get out of your own head and thoughts sometimes! Having pets helps tremendously!

[@daveharrelson7168]

Pets

[@veganworldpeace2649]

Yes, I agree. Being out in Nature, with animal companions, hobbies, time with younger children in my work life (I worked at summer camps beginning at age 17) and my neighbors and music helped me as I was growing up and into young adulthood and in a highly academic high school.

[@agmorgan]

This is excellent advice.

[@relentless3727]

Thanks for your insight

[@erinthesystem9608]

YES. Yesyesyes!!! Green spaces do wonders for your well-being. And as an adult, having a cat has kept me alive more times than I can count. If I were gone, there is no one else to take her, she'd be hurt and confused- traumatized- and also I promised her that we'd be "FOREVER Friends." Caring for her has been my only thing to hold onto so many times. * Doing things for others and getting out of your own head are the only ways to know you're doing the right thing, I think. You never feel like a failure when you're doing something TRULY helpful- though it does take some wisdom and experience to be a decent judge of this, i.e., when, who, how to help..

[@izzyh6831]

When I clicked on this video I didn't expect to hear goner by twenty one pilots. I also didn't expect to see the name of my hometown, or to know of her town and high school. I struggled with so many hard thoughts in high school, and I'm grateful to have made it to college. I'm so glad her family is raising awareness of mental health in teen girls. It's so needed. If you are reading this in the clique, it gets better. Lots of love. Stay alive |-/

[@marvels3011]

Please Izzy please don't allow negative thoughts to control you.Please.We get human life once.So don't waste it in thinking of your past or future.God has given life not to end but to embrace it. Please please please I am pleading

[@izzyh6831]

@@marvels3011 I'm all good, thank you so much for looking out. I'm in college and loving it. My life has taken a turn for the better. That's why I can say with confidence that it gets better. It really does.

[@liapetersen3880]

|-/ stay alive, please

[@tara-sd2kc]

Izzy hope yep :(

[@keonvneon]

||-//

[@ilseleal911]

this is why mental health and going to therapy is very important, even when everything seems ok.

[@davefish5740]

Therapy doesn't really help

[@theloquaciouslady]

@@davefish5740 It helped me. Please do not discourage people from getting help just because it didn't work for you.

[@davefish5740]

@@theloquaciouslady I'm glad it worked for you

[@Hedasverse]

@@theloquaciouslady she’s saying therapy doesn’t always help sometimes people feel more uncomfortable with therapist

[@Sarconthewolf]

At some time in her life it was put into her head that you have to be perfect to succeed in life. She took it to heart. A tragic mistake.

[@amelam.8497]

Unfortunately, she wasn't a "highly motivated achiever" like her father claims, she was a highly motivated OVERachiever.I think she expected way too much of herself. All her self worth rested on achievements and nothing else. Parents would've loved her unconditionally either way, but she couldn't love herself like that. May She Rest In Peace...

[@franissketchy3908]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@wellhelltherefellwhuman4637]

2:00 oh my god when Goner started playing I felt sick. The amount of times I’ve sat writing notes listening to my favourite songs for “one last time” came rushing back to me. Poor girl, she didn’t have to die. She could’ve carried on💔

[@abbiekane4687]

The worst thing about depression is that no one sees it coming. They can mask it so well. I can relate.

[@vanessacazares9517]

to whoever feels suicidal please don't believe what's trying to take you , you have so much to live for keep fighting it

[@K209-w4w]

I’ve never seen as much pressure and sadness in young people as I do these days.

[@juliakercsmar6587]

I mean the sweatshops and 16 hour workdays at 10 years old wasn't great during the industrial revolution. But now instead of working yourself to death and loosing a few limbs. You bad self-talk/inner-dialouge and slowly but surely it destroyes you until you go into remission or it kills you.

[@charlottetaylor4471]

Yeh you have to do/have everything. Best grades, best job, have lots of great hobbies, do lots of travelling, look good, have a partner etc etc

[@kellys4727]

My niece, at 26, was a MIT third year student when she jumped off a building in Boston, ending her life. She had a perfect SAT score. Was always getting metals for educational achievements, and was always helping other students with their classes while at MIT. All her grades were excellent. But she felt that she didn't belong on this earth, or so she wrote in her suicide note.

[@martywilsonlife]

Very sorry to hear of your loss.

[@caity6208]

I'm really sorry for your loss ❤ They're watching over you, making sure you stay safe and well! They gained their wings, and they’re even happier now that they don't have so much pressure. It's not your fault, or theirs. ♥️

[@DatabaseAdministration]

I'm really really sorry about your loss. Can you write more about her without revealing any details about her. I'm going through horrible phase. I want to learn other people stories.

[@adamantium4797]

Ur comment is old and I don't care that's the point of vids and comments to ignore time. Anyway obviously medals and achievement meant nothing if the brain is flawed.

[@Emily-gz3lq]

I'm reading all of these comments about how the family looks "off" or "guilty" and it makes me really upset. Their daughter committed suicide, of course they're gonna be off and, regardless of whether or not they had anything to do with it, there is always a thick layer of guilt that comes with loved ones committing suicide. My best friend's twin committed suicide when we were all in eighth grade. He was so happy. Not even his best friends suspected that he could have been struggling. It was all so sudden and put my entire school into a state of shock. There's no need to jump to conclusions about who's to blame in these types of situations. There isn't always a direct cause that makes sense. Just because the parents feel guilty that doesn't necessarily mean that that guilt stems from them pressuring her to be perfect. That guilt is most likely them wishing they had picked up on her depression earlier. That's at least how it is for my friends and I when we think back to eighth grade.

[@deekang6244]

I’m so sorry.

[@courtneykirk478]

That is the most reasonable comment that I have read concerning this case. Excellent, Ms. Emily.

[@kayla7562]

Thank you for saying this. I’ve been going through and defending the parents one comment at a time..I’ve lost two loved ones to Suicide and spent time with both of their mothers going to group counseling and just crying with them..these people on the comment section are a joke. They don’t begin to understand the pain parents go through. Losing a kid is the hardest thing no matter what but losing a kid to suicide tops the list. Plus parents get put on Xanax just to get through the day more often than not after losing a child. That can make them seem “off” or whatever they want to call it.

[@ElaAusDemTal]

Don't praise your children when they are high-achievers - tell them that you love them even if they wouldn't amount to anything at all. Teach them to cope with failures and self-doubt instead of making everyone a winner. The handwriting in her last journal entry says it all - mine looked like that, too, when I was suicidal in 7th grade. My parents had no clue, either and were shocked when I tried to overdose on pills. Teens can be great actors... 😔

[@Leelz247]

Well said

[@ElaAusDemTal]

@@Leelz247... 😘 Thank you! It comes straight from my heart.

[@laurajuanitacollins7113]

She wasn't as happy as her mom thought .. Mental illness is REAL

[@suzanneschulz8479]

Depression can effect anymore.

[@ririmari2717]

affect anyone*, perhaps?

[@maybeforgetful4732]

A lot of parents have high achieving children like this who end up having stories like these. They put so much value on those achievements and the "happy" person they are, their kid ends up feeling trapped in that identity. When depression comes, it threatens to destroy that person they've become. It almost doesn't seem like an option to underachieve.

[@Maddie-od3cc]

Alex, our whole school misses you so so much ❤️❤️ you were such a bright light to everyone. rest in peace ❤️

[@hannahpalmer9804]

I’m so sorry for you loss your school must be devastated

[@colleenc.9900]

Sweet, beautiful, poor girl. I’m so sorry you had such pain tucked away. My older brother went to your school. I don’t know why, but when you live close to these stories, they hit harder... 😔

[@margievanpetten777]

you've got to be kidding me... they hit harder! you disgust me. yeah im sure it hit YOU so damm hard. you don't see her brother commenting? dont speak like this hurt you so bad when in reality it didnt hurt you at all. you got to keep living your normal life with maybe the occasional sad thought. the ones close to her never forget, they have a weight on there hearts that wont go away. so yeah, im sure it hit you "harder".

[@colleenc.9900]

Oh, Margie... Thank you. You’ve changed my whole view on this situation with your harsh words. I can’t thank you enough! 😊

[@highlyfavored12]

Why am i watching this? My only child was happy on Monday and died on Tuesday. The pain is so deep it can't be described. I feel so bad for the parents and the young girl. Rest in little lady and you to my darling Cortney.

[@stacyash397]

thank you for sharing GOD BLESS

[@gabbiehannahsmentalbreakdo3887]

♥

[@caity6208]

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤ I hope everything gets better. Your child is in a place where they are happy, and they’re watching over you, making sure you're safe. God bless ♥️

[@princessnini4273]

i am so sorry for your loss

[@shannon7779]

Watching this made me wanna go hug my daughter (8)

[@justmart4455]

What's stopping you man! Never forget those hugs. She'll always need them

[@theresenydahl9531]

Absolute horror, my heart goes out to to her and her family.

[@tyxikosgatopoulos3094]

No one can ever know exactly what goes on in someone else's mind.

[@jessicaaudate]

yep

[@HopskotchBunny]

I am so very sorry for this family's loss, for our loss of this wonderful young woman in the world. I am awed by what the family is doing to help educate others and to help uncover problems people keep secret for many reasons.