Turning Trauma into Growth: Grief Work with David Kessler

Grief is often misunderstood - it’s different for everyone - and healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. On today’s episode we sit down with David Kessler, one of the world’s foremost experts on grief and loss, where we reveal why experiencing pain and trauma can lead to an expanded capacity for joy, happiness, and love. Don't miss our insightful conversation on turning trauma into post-traumatic growth, featuring a powerful story-telling technique that offers a path towards recovery and transformation.
In this episode we cover:
0:00:21 - Help for the Hurting Heart
0:02:27 - David's Story
0:05:03 - Elizabeth Kubler Ross
0:12:56 - Post-Traumatic Growth
0:13:47 - Comparison
0:16:45 - Community
0:19:30 - Storytelling
0:21:41 - Storytelling Exercise
0:36:27 - Grief vs Trauma
0:41:12 - Present-Moment Awareness
0:54:50 - Relationships
0:57:35 - Forgiveness
1:04:06 - Connection
1:06:52 - How to Grieve
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[@anpsteph]

Wow, great episode! I just want to hug you both and say thank you. I especially love that David acknowledged and validated your hurts and told you to leave off the part where you were discounting or trying to minimize your experience. That caused me to cry. That is so precious and uplifting! To quote some famous person I can't recall the name of, "Every hurt craves a benevolent witness." Yes! I personally needed to hear this. I have been grieving since 2014 from a series of loss and trauma. Thankfully, I am now able to have some peace about them in the past year. I am worn out from it all but in the same vein grateful for the experience from the emotional and physical traumas (losses). I can now empathize and sympathize with others going through similar experiences and I have grown as a human. I am a thriving survivor and hope to help others survive and thrive. Thanks again for putting out such great content. Blessings and peace be with you!

[@rebeccaconn389]

This video is so deep !!! So very helpful. I’m 2.5 years out from the unexpected death of my husband. I’ve been “handling” it well … but have only recently realized that other issues are now surfacing and they are directly related to that trauma … I was surprised to feel this. But I now realize I need lots more work to process this, fully.

[@TheDabshear]

My son was murdered 3 months ago. He had estranged himself from our family 2 years ago. I was already grieving him when this unthinkable finality hit. Sometimes I just cry and feel overwhelmed and other times I take a deep breath and tell myself you can do this. I would rather feel angry than this sadness. At least when angry I feel stronger. I am an artist and teacher and have created more paintings during these 3 months than I ever have so in one way I have an outlet to help me forget for a while. But I wondered how long will this grief last… now I know that that I am on a journey down the river.

[@RamonaMcKean]

Oh my, that is so harsh, especially compounded by the estrangement. Bless you, dear one, as you make your way through all the pain. ❤️

[@janegreen5301]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss and grief. I know anger and grief and tears. I know what it's like to simply remind myself to breathe.

[@user-ey8eb4pm4k]

We never get out out grief - we must learn to live with it. Our lives have been changed - broken-hearted losing a child is extremely , hard grief . We needed to be gentle and one day at a time . One day we use our grief to Serve others . Oxo.

[@lordtains]

Jeff, I loved your vulnerability during the exercise. Very touching. 🙏

[@jayzed4099]

Thank you for this beautiful presentation ❤️🙏

[@TheErika711]

For the past year I have been suffering unimaginable pain over my Mother's death it was brutal also having had lost my Brother in 99' to suicide - he was my best friend - so in December 22' my Mom was as I put it forced to endure crippling chemo radiation for stage 4 she was already not well it was a death sentence a cruel painful end to her life she should never have gone through I begged her to not go that route -she died- then my health ceased I had other deaths people and pets my home was flooded mold I was constantly being pulled under waves barely breathing anger pain fear has consumed me finding you David Kessler for the first time maybe for me I can live again - thank you

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

Thank you ❤

[@luisaa.7906]

So interesting and beautiful, thank you 💖

[@veenarish]

Thank you

[@TheYazmanian]

I think he's absolutely right about forgiveness starting in the mind because it is a choice and when you practice deciding that you have forgiven somebody eventually the real feeling will follow. But the feeling never comes first we must first choose the action

[@messiahjuni]

I find it very hard to grieve since every year I’ve loss key people in my life from brother, uncles, mother, gf, cousin, aunt and etc from 2019 to 2023 … and today was totally hard while everyone is celebrating thanksgiving I struggled to because 11/23 is my moms bday.

[@GGVanilla]

I was gutted listening to this. I’m so glad the story of bullying was shared. I had a similar story with my siblings. I was about 5 and they put me in this wooden box, shaped like a coffin. And they forced me in, and then all 3 sat on top of it. They’re all about 10 years older than me, and I’m this tiny petit, malnourished girl… you can’t imagine the feeling of terror and helplessness I felt. And to top things off now the children of these siblings who are about 25 (and I’m 35) minimize it and say “my dad was just teasing like older brothers do”. It’s so devastating to have your trauma just erased. I’m so glad David took the time to address it. It still affects me to this day, when I had to get some MRI done I was shaking I couldn’t do it. I had to have a nurse hold my hand. Yes 35 year old needed someone to hold my hand to get through it.

[@dvdv8197]

Thank you for having Marianne Williamson on and not taking part in the mainstream media blackout of her. 🙏🙏

[@kathyhoward91]

David Kessler What are your thoughts on Disenfranchised Grief? Grief that doesn’t fit in with Social-norms.

[@jo-andradecuba4176]

💜

[@lisainberea]

You state we need people, what if we don’t have people?

[@TheYazmanian]

Or what if we have people but they aren't the kind we can be vulnerable with because in the past they have proven themselves to be fair weather friends that don't want to be bothered with depressing things?

[@sari8619]

There is groups like grieve groups, on the internet too

[@Wookinpanub235]

What do you guys think about “Angel numbers.”? Since my wifes diagnosis with cancer Ive been seeing digital clocks displaying 1:11, 2:22, 3:33, and Im not kidding I jist glanced at my clock as I type this and its 11:11. This cant be coincidence. I see this all the time to the point where I feel that someone or somethjng in the universe is trying to tell me somethjng. The closer we got to my wifes passjng a month ago I began seeing these numbers more throughout the day. I thought I would see less of them now that she passed but I continue to see these numbers in passing. Its not like I look at the clock all day long either. Its just random times lime a glance at my csr radio clock at a red light. Looking at my phone when a text comes through. Glancing at the clock before I go to sleep. Time after time I see these numbers. 1:11,2:22,3:33,4:44,5:55,11:11, even 12:12. Its really strange. I feel so lost without my beautiful soul mate. Im not sure I’ll get through this.

[@darrelljones3382]

Bullshit! I had my soulmate murdered by the hospital protocols 😢