The 7 SURPRISING Ways To Heal Trauma WITHOUT MEDICATION | Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk

[@mysterydiaz5302]

I’ve done yoga, tai chi …and everything under the sun. I believe I order to heal trauma you need to tell your story out loud and be heard, felt and seen.

[@projectbirdfeederman5491]

That's why it's so hard for targeted individuals, cos 99.99% are so eager to dismiss them as "delusional" etc, so the top level abusers in power don't have to be acknowledged for their horrendous crimes.

[@sayusayme7729]

Wow, 💚

[@michelebergman4336]

Yes I agree! Find people who are Truly Compassionate & actually care about u healing

[@reallythere]

100 yesssssssss well said and true. Seen heard and believed ❤

[@janetnash8588]

Yes, and that means not going to any "mental health practitioners". They almost consistently will gas light and undermine trauma survivors, because they judge you from their own ignorance and privilege. The best way to heal and be heard for me was to find a group of survivors who have experienced something similar to your trauma. Since my first assault was by my scout troop leader, I found a group of survivors of the Catholic church and Boy Scout pedophiles, because they know how horrifically human beings treat each other...particularly women and children.

[@nicolesavioz6601]

"Trauma is about shame and being disconnected from other people" - that resonated!

[@robynhope219]

Indeed it is...envy, also. I feel everyone is better off than I am.

[@rachelhorn8823]

Same,,,I'm constantly in hypervigilance and avoid people. Finding my people and therapy with EMDR currently.

[@GuacamoleyNacho]

​@rachelhorn8823 Singapore is not a safe place either. Violent man hit you with stick multiple times in busy crowded street, police called and they did nothing! Multiple witnesses and cctv and police do nothing! In Singapore, many men do upskirt video in public spaces with evidence captured on cctv and police did nothing! In Singapore, man expose his genitals and full nakedness in quiet, public neighbourhood to violate woman, police called and do nothing! Singapore is not safe because police dont act in the crimes reported. Police bury the crimes drop cold the cases, dont pursue the criminals. Victims don't get justice. Things only look OK on the surface. Today criminals are not punished by the law. They get away scot free. Police instead protect criminals and treat victims as perpetrators.

[@michaelkennedy5126]

this guy knows me!

[@Butterfly828-x8e]

Yes

[@jellybellyfun3288]

12:40 He nailed it. A trauma-informed school system is absolutely necessary. That would reduce bullying and gun violence. Even the medical system should be built based on a trauma-informed system.

[@zineb-aj88]

We also need trauma informed workplace. Because somehow adults are expected to be responsible of their lives and as grown up they should have already dealt with their trauma and healed.

[@sophiafaith]

Let’s think of what a trauma-informed approach in medicine and schools and prisons would look like. Society could be transformed. Something to think about for the future.

[@taralilarose1]

@A G True but they'll be dead soon

[@tobsternater]

WHY AMERICA STILL HAS GUNS...is the real question thats needed to be answered! A progressive country? Maybe in another time period....but it went to the dogs with the KKK!! THATS why theres still guns in America to the extent there is!!

[@tobsternater]

No way....that would be too Communistic!! Just ask any gun owner!! ( f.f.s!! ) No...go on...ask them! God help America!

[@denise2169]

Even having super strict parents who were emotionally unavailable can be traumatic to sensitive people like me because we didn’t get the emotional support to be able to process our difficult emotions and to feel safe. I am now learning to do this for myself through the work of these gentlemen, and others like Drs Gabor Maté and Dr Peter Levine. Thank you for this great interview.

[@pure-pisces9980]

Same!

[@stockportgreatermanchester2619]

Having the super strict, emotionally unavailable parents is what made you sensitive, the trauma of living like that is why you feel you are sensitive. It's not that you're a sensitive person so your upbringing was traumatic. Your traumatic upbringing of having emotionally unavailable parents is why you are sensitive. It's emotional neglect and it impacts a child's brain development.

[@debifambro1039]

Me too. I'm grateful! His book THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE is great ... helped me see my own life ❤

[@Konosekay]

😊😮BINGO, true that. As one of the worst parents/guardians is someone who shouts/insults/rebukes the person who informs about being suppressed by others/classmate/stranger/teacher etc.

[@Sailinon632]

You are not a sensitive person,What you experienced hurt you when you where a child. And what is reacting to this day is that child. That child still lives and react in us.

[@deborahrose5369]

What helped me most at the end is when the Dr. said to look at all the good things I did to survive. I felt so empowered when I heard that.

[@andrearovenski]

really appreciate how the show starts RIGHT into the conversation instead of doing a long introduction. Really great.

[@jellybellyfun3288]

Agree

[@LIFE8destiny]

I appreciate it too.

[@Squirrel-zq6oe]

Lol you hatin on lex?

[@andrearovenski]

@@Squirrel-zq6oe never watched the guy, not into most podcasts

[@tobsternater]

how awful it is having to spend ten minutes before a talk begins due to intros. Not so much when you're physically there...but as a film video.

[@neeaforsgren7905]

I have fibromyalgia and one of the first things my rheumatologist asked me if I had any trauma past. I had just been diagnosed with cptsd after my marriage and a bit after the fibromyalgia started. He told me I might get better after I would get my nervous system and mind healed. And he has been right. Getting better all the time as I heal mentally. I am blessed to have him as my doctor and to live in Finland so it costs next to nothing. Loved this episode❤

[@neeaforsgren7905]

And my journey of healing took me to become a therapist myself. This is what I was meant to do. The feeling of purpose makes it easier to move on.

[@ZT2783]

How have you healed your nervous system?

[@mgn1621]

Wow! A very enlightened rheumatologist! You were very fortunate. Mine wanted to put me on the chemo drugs. Thankfully I am trauma informed and said no.

[@annandall9118]

I'm moving to Finland 😂

[@fluffyanne1177]

@@annandall9118please take me with you!

[@billmiller9145]

As someone who just spent 18 days in the hospital, I REALLY appreciate that you brought up the lack of trauma training in med school! This has to change!!

[@annacarson887]

I feel for you having to be in that environment without being appreciated. I hope you are feeling better. Some of my trauma occurred due to not exactly neglect but just a lack of sensitivity whilst being in an ICU after a severe accident. Thank you for your comment 🙏

[@equus3333]

I had a horrible hospital experience too , I left so traumatized. Sorry it happened to you too 🗳️

[@PamelaColor]

Yes, but also get paid for the services or sponsor their training. Lots of people want this and that from professionals.. for free!

[@lolam.5062]

Welp ths system here n usa is absolutely not abt healing. Only profit and maintaining the system which causes severe trauma. Sadly so. But I totally concur it would b so gr8 if we had trauma informed schools, hospitals. That would b a different 🌎!

[@joyconnell1318]

No one was there for me when I was being sexually abused! It became a secret that made me feel nobody would like me if I told the truth. That put the blame on me for not telling and when I did tell a boyfriend, he didn’t believe me … that put me in a lifetime of running away from everything that hurt in my life. It’s a stigma - trauma that never goes away … ☹️

[@heatherwall7579]

It’s not only those traumatic events….its also emotional neglect and being around constant anger of a parent,where zero love was shown…that affects us on a daily basis as a kid…fearful of a parent …my mother was a nightmare to be around and passed her own unresolved issues onto me. Never felt she cared about me and I wondered why she even had me. She was never someone I could turn too…I used to go to work as a teenager and cry….the issue got worse when all my older siblings left. All I grew up in was turbulence. Zero love and constant arguments between my parents. I shut down completely. This affects me in all my relationships as I didn’t know how to form healthy bonds and turned to substances to get a better feeling,not knowing I was just trying to avoid my pain that needed deep healing ….im 60 now and live totally alone. I’ve been suicidal over the years too as I crave some connection with another human being,but most have their own issues they are dealing with and cannot hold that space where I feel connected. It’s incredibly lonely and painful 🙏❤️

[@atheartfull]

I feel you Heather & can relate to your childhood experiences with your mother. My understanding is that emotional neglect is another form of abuse that leads to trauma. I also know its not too late to learn how to form healthy bonds & attachments if you are willing & open to learn & work towards this. Fellowship groups like ACOA Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families can also be invaluable support & place to turn to for connection & deep healing. Sending you love grace & gentleness. 💕

[@heatherwall7579]

@@atheartfull thank you. ❤️🙏❤️

[@sulviagania5665]

Omg ! You can talk to me ! We can be friends …. I need a friend also …..

[@jamilahamadi6937]

Hugs❤

[@deelicious1610]

The childhood you described IS trauma! Listen to Mate’ Gabor. He talks extensively on this.

[@drironmom6815]

He is so right. I was bullied in school. When I tried to tell my parents they asked me what I’d done to deserve it. I realized I had no one to help me. For three years I endured the bullying in silence. I considered suicide. The pain and shame is still with me in adulthood

[@sem1663]

Wow I cant believe your parents blamed you or made you feel like you “deserved” to be bullied 😮 that’s absolutely terrible. Im sorry no one was there to protect you ❤️‍🩹 they were supposed to protect you 😣 I hope one day you heal from this 🤍🤍

[@drironmom6815]

@@sem1663 thank you for your kind words

[@sorshamooncake]

Jesus Christ! I hope they either changed drastically and apologize daily or you don't speak to them ever!

[@htmc2022]

I wouldn’t tolerate bullying of myself or other kids when I was in school - but then I was a girl who was taller & stronger than any of the boys in my class (which I got bullied for). I just put my head down and ran at them and they had to jump out of the way. That fixed one bully at a time. Rotten way to have to deal with the world but it worked. Bullies are cowards who cry like babies if anybody tries to hurt them back. The girls were worse - they would ostracize girls from their group. I just wouldn’t let them. I’d get up and sit and have lunch with the girl they were casting out. Then I’d invite her to our table the next day. They’d let her be and then she could stay with us or not - it was up to her, not them.

[@drironmom6815]

@@htmc2022 wish you’d been in my school. I was small for my age, under 100 pounds, and nearsighted, unable to stand up the big girl, 6 ft tall and twice my weight, who’d flunked a couple of grades and probably saw in me everything she wasn’t.

[@pugglepooch]

I think creative people like artists, actors and musicians are sensitive and feel things intensively..on another level.

[@RationalNon-conformist]

Many (not all) actors are narcissistic.

[@marie-francoiset9402]

@@RationalNon-conformist that's not true

[@johannesstephanusroos4969]

​​@@marie-francoiset9402If you disagree, you need to spend more time around actors. Not all of them, but far too many

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

​@@johannesstephanusroos4969 So you're an actor?

[@johannesstephanusroos4969]

@@Here4TheHeckOfIt Nope, I only did a little theater. I know a lot of actors, and used to work with them

[@kmcq692]

1:23:23 what a beautiful observation he quotes…”Victims are members of society whose problems represent the memory of suffering, rage, and pain in a world that longs to forget.”

[@glowpony]

I loved this video and related to so much of it, but this was the line that stayed with me afterwards.

[@BonnieMorrill-t7u]

My little dog has helped me, I enjoy petting her and going for car rides with her and taking care of her helps take my mind off of the past.

[@mgn1621]

She helps you regulate

[@BigBoyAlbee]

Dogs are guardian Angels, literally

[@SwedishTourist]

Omg yees this is part of why I want to get a pet

[@PyJama-wp9tf]

Dogs are very good traumatherapists. They give you the feeling you are loved and needed. If they are bigger ones they can protect you and they bring a healthy lifestyle to your life. You have to go outside, have to go for walks and habe a base to life on so you care for your financial issues, for your home and all this. And the give your life a sense. If you pet and care for them you care and pet in the same time yourself. But an animal needs you. You have always have to care for them. They have nobody expect you. So all their lifequality depends on you.

[@Brenda-rm2wp]

Definitely the same for me

[@StandinTLHS]

I had EMDR just once to help me deal with an EXTREMELY traumatic experience and it totally transformed how i dealt with it forever more. I didn't really know or understand EMDR before I did it and it felt like there was no way soothing so simple could really help in any meaningful way but almost immediately afterwards i felt that the emotion of the event had somehow been disconnected from the memory so then I could remember it without feeling consumed by the trauma of it.

[@joofark]

EMDR was the first therapy I received that actually helped me. Before I went through it, I was totally locked in traumatic fear. Psychiatric drugs made things worse for me. I will always be deeply grateful that my therapist was trained in EMDR.

[@lindasulpacio5737]

Healing is so hard through talk therapy and EMDR.

[@adgroundwork]

I’m also emdr therapy do you find it gets tough at times

[@kims1912]

You can do it online yourself. My therapist did a few sessions of it with me, but it did nothing. Online I was able to control the speed of the ball going back and forth. I needed it to be faster to see results.

[@sandramillner4160]

Emdr works is done correctly .. it also helps with PTSD and really has limited affect with CPTSD.

[@robertpickering641]

I'm starting emdr soon just doing the lifeline stuff first... this comment gives me hope cos in my head it sounds silly. Thank you

[@MommaMia-k8t]

Thank you for addressing the more subtle forms of abuse! I was raised by a mom who believed, "We don't talk about what happens outside our home." We didn't even talk about what happened within our home, either. This allowed bad parenting to continue. Also, as a child I saw other adults didn't intervene so no one felt safe.

[@erinward2983]

Trauma robs us of so much time and so much potential. Living in the present becomes this astronomical impossibility. Functioning becomes dysfunctional functioning. Life feels so different. It’s extremely difficult to manage my life now, especially when others don’t understand or respect it.

[@sem1663]

So relatable! 🥺

[@PainValve]

I relate to this a lot

[@brianschultz7320]

Have you tried therapy or psychedelics?

[@lashelter]

As a 40 yr veteran in the Massage profession, I have seen the complexity of fibromyalgia along with other "mysterious" issues and the whole body keeping and knowing what the score really is!! We manual therapists KNOW and FEEL this from those we see. So happy the medical profession is catching up to what their patients bodies are saying. Its a matter of looking between the lines. Getting a thorough history, asking the right questions with compassion and listening, will unravel so much and validate the dear ones who are seeking help!! Sometimes, people want help to "connect the dots" and assist them to the right solutions! I have referred many to other healthcare professionals just by asking the right questions along with using my skills. This is my passion and at 65, I can't imagine not continuing to help others in this way! Thank you Dr. Chatterjee and Dr. van der Kolk for this wonderful, helpful and hopeful chat!!!

[@lioness6853]

I get you. My chiropractor helped me break loose enourmous amount of tension, it worked because he made me feel safe with him. I have CPTSD and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in November, after 6 months of treatment with him.

[@lindapelle8738]

Good massage therapists are a godsend. They rock!!!

[@PSA3377]

I'm with you . As a retired Massage Therapist I've seen exactly what your describing. The body definitely remembers trauma.

[@arunagreen8119]

Choral singing is amazing. Singing verdi requiem at the moment. Its very visceral and engaging.

[@mcbeanjr]

To anyone who needs to hear this. keep going, don't give up hope. I know life can get challenging or stressful at times. Everything will work out perfectly. No matter the difficulties you are facing currently. You will overcome it! You are much stronger and more braver than you think. I know this from experience. I love and believe in you, your friend! A fellow human being!

[@DebYbarra]

🩷 Thank you so much.

[@lizgen4278]

At 26:21, brought tears to my eyes! It's not my fault that I have felt misunderstood, as the medical system is not designed to support complex/trauma related issues. Thank you so much for this interview. I feel I can be more patient and persistent in getting the help I need. ❤️🙏

[@chellyvisions]

If you haven't already, you may want to tell your Dr.. I saw more changes in my Dr and my care plan and more understanding from my primary care doctor.. after I told him I was a victim of an SA. I went to counseling before that, and she helped me get to the point I could tell my Dr. It matters. Good luck.

[@theswiftschoolofselfhealing]

Go to people who understand and remove trauma....the field of ENERGY MEDICINES. Light years beyond medicine...LIGHT YEARS!!!

[@Dani-cg9hn]

@@chellyvisions @Chelly I'm so sorry. Never, ever give up. Keep changing dr until finding 1 that fits your needs. If it helps, I would strongly recommend educating yourself about your symptoms, and condition here on KZbin. Then, look up information for a local doctor, therapist, specialist, anything that you need in your area. Doctors are only people limited by their training programs and/or by their own personal experiences, curiosity and willingness to stay up to date with the latest developments. The greatest challenge in science, is that almost every month there is a new study, new research new discoveries.

[@julesmeyeri2056]

Good vibes coming 2 U from me 😊

[@julesmeyeri2056]

Hang in there 😊

[@therealkathleenkiddo]

The real tragedy here is that we don’t realize when someone is traumatized and we often make it worse by taking things personally but using this perspective our relationships would be changed. This talk had a greater impact up on me than reading the book 3 times. Thank you!

[@annacarson887]

Thank you. I totally agree ❤

[@lioness6853]

Check out tim fletcher also, he gives a profound insight in not only the traumas, but the symptoms and root cause. Helped me enourmusly, along with Dr. Peter Walkers book on cptsd, and Dr. Van der Kolks book on how the body keeps the score. We need more therapists like these.❤

[@JuliaFreeflow]

If more doctors were like Dr. Rangan the world would quite literally be a different place. IT STARTS WITH EDUCATION, if more medical students were taught about trauma and how it relates to physical health and chronic pain I genuinely think that we could come to some kind of medium where patient and doctor are doing their best to work together. The medical system is literally fighting and penalizing traumatized individuals bc there is not enough education on the complexity of trauma, past and present, and how it can and will impact our health

[@theswiftschoolofselfhealing]

Medicine is not about curing. It is about maintaining a system that makes TONS of money. This is why so many Alternatives came about. His book is one of the older ones...there is much more up-to-date. New German Medicine is such....look up Isabelle Benarous. Brilliant info. Medicine is archaic...time to move past it.

[@jobarton6206]

So very true!!

[@robertschacter7733]

❤❤😢😢

[@francesbernard2445]

IT (recovery from trauma) or I.T. Both starts with education. Not just only mysterious looking hardware sometimes found in burn pits too.

[@Drew_Hurst]

The medical system doesn't just generally ignore trauma, it generally ignores nutrition also, I think the point that we admit the system has become focused on profit over healing has been crossed. The Dr may ask "Do You drink alcohol or take drugs?", but wouldn't a better question be, "Are You affected by anyone's use of drugs or alcohol in the home or in your relationships?" Is a diabetic patient tested for low potassium levels or are they just being put on insulin for life? We can do better but We better hurry up before People lose any remaining faith in allopathic medicine all together.

[@kateking3953]

People don't go around telling others about the bad things that happen in their lives. Catastrophic accident, bad choices that lead to hard lives, tragic losses, frightening illness. If you don't have family or a partner to share the burden, the result is cumulative stress leading to trauma and hypervigilance.

[@mianilsson3550]

The best thing to heal humanity is, to destroy activity of the spiritual charlatans, who throws millions in the imaginary worlds! Educate people about their real nature, study Spinoza, Schopenhauer, Hobbes, Kant and solutions to live reasonably and rational!!!

[@thaisrodrigues9947]

I do. I talk about my CSA to every one. This save me.

[@oliviacadena2036]

😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@robynhope219]

That's what happened to me: no family support, ever!! Fortunately, I have the money for lots of therapy.

[@withwingsaseagleeyes]

I tell total strangers and even the few close friends I have to the point of whining. Feel like I have traumatic stress like it was tourette syndrome.

[@theselfawaremom]

I am healing my childhood trauma with yoga, and it does work. Yoga can help you find internal safety within yourself again and can help you to release trapped emotions. But you have to have the awareness and the experience of coming to consciousness for it to be truly healing. I did yoga for years and it made me feel great but I was missing a huge piece of the puzzle - childhood trauma and wounds I didn’t even know I was carrying. Now that I have all of the pieces of the puzzle, I’m able to heal my nervous system with yoga. But it’s not a quick fix. I do yoga twice per day, every single day if possible, and for 30 mins at a time. There is also grief work, making space for emotions, mindfulness, setting boundaries, cultivating self compassion, letting go of old coping mechanisms, etc. that is also largely important. My old programming runs deep. If I quit doing yoga for a few days, I immediately go back to old means of coping and escapism. Healing is work - a lifelong journey, it’s never a quick fix, but it’s absolutely worth the pain and the effort. It brings you back to your joy.

[@radessvk4441]

Thanks

[@pamelaf.2776]

Yoga helps me too. But unfortunately I can’t go to an in person yoga class as it triggers me. I was abused by a narcissistic mother and being around other females puts me in a state of high anxiety. So KZbin yoga will have to suffice.

[@localm4323]

Thanks for taking the time to give details on how yoga healed you.Inspiring!

[@mgn1621]

Yin yoga is great as it is slow, and very mindful, inward focussed.

[@malnir643]

the sad thing is I started yoga in the 80s.. @ the land of yoga - India- but couldnt be consistent.. average teachers/no mentoring/no youtube!/no easy access in some areas after i moved around. so lost faith. and was too restless to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. now i regret loss of time

[@jellybellyfun3288]

What is evil, cruel and ignorant about society is how most people blame the victims of traumatic events of having CPTSD & PTSD. That is like blaming a victim of a car accident or assault who ended up with broken limbs, and humiliating them for that limb not being whole and healthy, and for not walking/running within a year of that broken limb/s.

[@bereal6590]

100%, I was diagnosed cptsd and later ptsd as everything compounded but as the doctor said based on how you're then treated can either ameliorate or increase the trauma further, for me it's the latter and I've gotten sick. Blaming people is abhorrent. Those who go through trauma and become narcissistic are the types who then perpetrate harm on others by blaming and shaming or ignoring or belittling others trauma because they lack empathy ✌

[@MargaretJEllis]

WHAT? I have personally experienced those events and no one treated me that way. I'm also diagnosed PTSD.

[@RollYOUrD1ce]

Always. Because traumatized people reminds them of what they do not control and for most that makes them insecure

[@KoolT]

Believe me, I was crippled severely 18 years disabled. People treat CRIPPLED people like crap.

[@PippiBarbieri]

Blame, shame, guilt and needless worrying just perpetuates and projects our issue onto others- oftentimes victims can become victimizers- it can s a cycle v based on the story of the separate self, which is a myth

[@theswiftschoolofselfhealing]

Trauma should be studied by people who had been traumatized instead of those who have not. As a child I could have told you how badly traumatized we all were; medical abuse, sexual abuse, abused by nuns, the boys on the playground...the list is long. Most pple live in trauma, if we didn't we would NEVER put the pple in power that we do. It is insidious and its EVERYWHERE. We need to a NATIONAL program in ALL systems, work and education that teaches pple how to heal themselves BEFORE they make new humans. That would help ENORMOUSLY.

[@Wild8Cat]

"Most pple live in trauma, if we didn't we would NEVER put the pple in power that we do." Very true!

[@Wild8Cat]

The greatest threat to humanity is the sense of powerlessness to change the world and the subsequent dissociation/zoning-out response in the form of self-distraction and self-medication, choosing from overabundance of choices like mindless consumerism, social media, lifestyle cultism, video games/TV shows, celebrities, sports teams, alcohol, drugs, smoking, porn, etc.

[@donnaclarke8033]

The self-distraction and self medication behaviours you mentioned are the things of the world, which the bible that was written thousands of years ago, warns us about. When we become distracted we are not conscious of our spiritual need, which brings us wisdom, knowledge and understanding, allowing us to have a sense of peace in this wicked world

[@M-i-k-a-e-l]

Yes yes yes.

[@Wild8Cat]

Trauma breeds trauma.

[@RettaNRatchetRecover]

I was being narcissisticly abused for almost 18 years but I stopped talking about it because I thought I could change his behavior. I couldn't. But I am healing from CPTSD and all trauma in my life! He left once I started changing. Thank you so much for this information 🙏 ❤

[@louiselawson7285]

Watching this has been so healing. I have been gaslit all my life by medical professionals.. and I just can’t do it any more. I’m done. And this was so reassuring. I can do things to heal myself.

[@mimique1111]

Hugs ❤

[@alysonhorne9156]

Gaslighting is just another nervous system attack .. heal your own perceptions then you won’t need to react to them the same way.. heal those networks . Just like it is expressed resetting the nervous system is possible . I now work with other adoptees like myself to release this trauma deep in our Unconscious mind. I am so grateful I have found this science to take healing that extra step. As a naturopath I never realised how deep the unconscious mind controls our physical health ❤

[@stephendendy8376]

How is it going 9 months later?

[@TanyaDavis954]

❤❤❤❤

[@arunagreen8119]

I know a clinical psychologist who said " singing is silly" when i said i was going for lessons. My choir conductor said " yes it is silly and thats great"

[@alexperkins8433]

what a crap psychologist --- sorry but to degrade what youre doing - ridiculous. could get that for free lol shame on that psych!

[@mordecaiissad8529]

Funny, my therapist told me it would be a good idea to try and sing more to get used to my voice and feel my voice when it gets louder, because I always keep my volume kinda low.

[@celesteburley4035]

Your psychologist is an idiot. Singing is healing for trauma survivors.

[@singingislife18]

I support this as an opera singer who has done many stupid things for her art

[@Julieglam3]

I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I think that particular psychologist should be disbarred. And people wonder why going into therapy carries such stigma. But I guess the good and the evil can be found in every corner of our world can't it?

[@ninac9308]

I have a history of severe childhood trauma and read 'the body keeps the score' when it first came out in 2014. (A brilliant book) Videos like this are much needed as they shed light on a subject that is often shrouded in secrecy, bringing with it much needed understanding of the impact of trauma on sufferers as well as offering insight to those surrounding them.

[@mikaelamathews9790]

I can relate and thanks for mentioning the book

[@taralilarose1]

Yes Nina! Ditto!

[@terelynmelling6221]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Is this book available on video and or Utube please

[@kathyashton6182]

🌸💚🙏💜🧚‍♀️

[@taralilarose1]

@@Rollwithit699 I'm so sorry sweetheart. Have you tried God, deliverance??? Somatic healing, EMDR, tapping, praying, journaling. It's a lot of work but it's never too late and you deserve healing, salvation, peace. You can do it. Believe in yourself and claim your miracle from Almighty God!

[@anniesampson8815]

Totally agree with all that is being discussed. I set up my own natural therapies safe place "a time for you" and I would only see one person on a day. Allowing them the whole day, as long as they needed, no cut off time this is crucial ; no limits. I created a therapy room that was like stepping out of this world, very serene, beautiful , along with peaceful calming music this helped people to open up and I would hear them say to me " I have never told anyone this before" !! and they would off load deep trauma, Then I would use aromatherapy massage, reflexology, healing to help to relax the body and mind. Then I would end each session with total relaxation with me talking them through their body ultra slowly and relaxing every muscle and creating a mind free of worry. Everyone seemed to leave walking on air it made me so happy to see.

[@shanticahn6494]

Annie Sampson ~ how exquisitely helpful, compassionate, thoughtfully thorough! You certainly seem to have “ got it goin’ on”, my dear thank you for allowing the Spirit of Life to move through you into such useful action ~ serving our brothers & sisters as you would yourself love to be treated! May we all work to bless one another just so! 🪬🌎🌏🌍 ✨🥰✨… pura vida

[@CandyAustin]

Sounds like heaven!!!!❤

[@Horseluvver]

Wow. U really think outside the box! What a wonderful approach...so caring & comforting.

[@PleaseDontEatAnimals]

That sounds wonderful! Even made me relax a bit just reading about it. 😊

[@Dani-cg9hn]

@Annie thank you so much for giving such a special gift of caring, kindness, support and love to each person the universe /God /whatever you want to call it gives the opportunity and blessing to come to you. My thought is, with you too. May you take care of yourself too. Replenish your energy. Refueling your body and spirit with nourishment, and restoring to your fullest potential. Blessings 🙏🫶🪷🌟🌷

[@lapislazuliphoenix]

Wow! I love the way Bessel addresses the way the medical system can re-traumatize people!! Standing up and calling out an ugly truth many wouldn't say out loud, or recognize because it's too big and medicine wants to be hidden!! They don't want to face that reality. I just love this man!!

[@mistsister]

Yes, I am thankful for my trauma. To have gained such compassion and empathy for the world because of what I've survived is a greater gift than any. The pain is truly profound, and even in a group, isolating, because it is work that ultimately must be done alone, on the inside. But to continue hurting is to mismanage your suffering. Don't let the injustice serve no purpose. The majority of us absolutely can heal enough to feel joy, no matter what we've endured. Enough to make life worth staying around for. What a beautiful flow you two had together. Thank you for this deeply sympathetic talk, among my favorite of all times.

[@believ100]

Both the doctors hit the nail on the head at 20:00 - 26:00

[@TrueSelfWalkAway]

Tears flowing. 26 minutes. I have lost everything except my life & cat. EMDR has assisted.

[@user-fb4pf9gs1m]

Being in nature & sunshine . Ocean side . Avoid stressful toxic people helps . This is why they are alone .

[@JeniHeartLight]

Bessel, your book which came out in 2014 is in our library - 3 copies - and has a waiting list of 28 people (9 years after it came out !) thank you both 💕

[@CosmicWarrior144]

Same in sweden . It is a popular book.

[@EvgeniiaDolinenko]

Wow 😮 🎉

[@faux-nefarious]

Maybe buy more copies?

[@faux-nefarious]

Ah sorry, my reading of the comment made me assume you are a librarian. But now I see that’s not a given

[@lioness6853]

@jenimckenna, buy the book. It will be the most well spent money ever!❤

[@nadineo1983]

I have complex-PTSD from childhood trauma, and "The Body Keeps the Score" is a book that i believe everyone who has trauma should read. It helps explain why we react to the world in the way we do. What part of the brain is involved and why. It's definitely needed in conjunction with multiple therapies.

[@nebel_slayn4290]

Would EMDR work for this? I feel like, since it targets a particular trauma rather than repeated ones, it may work for traditional PTSD but not CPTSD. Curious what your experience was/is!

[@vieella389]

@@nebel_slayn4290 I am 63 yo. I've been doing online EMDR w my therapist on my trauma. I've had 5 sessions. It is working...the first thing ever to work for me.

[@skipskiperton4992]

does the book teach us what to do to heal our trauma?

[@mmm__we]

I doubt any of you truly have trauma. If you can sleep every night without medication you do not have CPTSD.

[@vieella389]

@@mmm__we Oy vey

[@bereal6590]

Oh wow, this is serendipity, I'm going through something that has kicked off all prior life traumas. I'm cracking under the pressure. It's like this popped up to help me in my biggest moment of need. Excellent video thank you ✌

[@anhumblemessengerofthelawo3858]

_get some hypnotherapy; it's the best treatment available. Just need a qualified practitioner. Take care, love_

[@winniethuo9736]

​ Please, take note of the clear message that there is help out there but not one fits all; with love

[@MassageMagick1111]

Oh man! Sending you love. I hope it all coming up helps you heal!

[@ktpuss]

Hey your comment jumped out at me, as exactly same here and I’m struggling in the same way but also very aware that it’s definitely trauma, I’m going to try hard to actually do just a couple of these things. Of all the videos on YT on trauma this one’s the most helpful and possible sounding…hope you’re doing ok this week.

[@Joyfulgirl]

Same ❤

[@debramcgonnell3631]

Educating doctors is vitally important. ❤

[@madremia68]

I was an unwanted child (to my mother, not my father). When I was about 6 or 7 years old she told me about her suicidal thoughts during pregnancy. She wanted to jump off the train on her way to work. As an adult woman of 55 it is still not easy for me to move or breathe the way I’d like to. As if it was forbidden to make the world notice that I exist. It is stuck in my body. I am grateful for doctor van der Kolk’s work. It is because of his ideas that I began to see a connection between my trauma experience and my body.

[@vibetribeuk]

My mum tried to abort me she was Bipolar... of course my Narc father told me how unwanted I wad as young as 3/4, funny thing I did love my mum even though my childhood was very traumatic ❤

[@KarenSharin]

So sorry you had to feel that . Thr work of the late Marion Woodman spoke to this situation. She was way before her time about trauma , working with the body and dreams and symbols . Best of luck to you on your healing journey . My mother was traumatized and mentally ill . Remothering myself has been an ongoing process . ❤

[@madremia68]

@@vibetribeuk a sad story.

[@Elje41]

Trauma leads to a disconnect that then either gets worked on or not based on clarity, opportunities, environment, habits, self care and community Humiliation despair shame and fear can be difficult to get past. Exercise being outside in the light and air and a healthy diet really helped me

[@jessicarowling]

Gods nature heals IJN

[@janthorpe9577]

❤

[@TanyaDavis954]

Exactly 💯

[@em-dy3hn]

Village therapy. Simple and wholesome activities and ways of living. Not abusing each other and being kind, loving and encouraging. It's not complicated.

[@itzakpoelzig330]

Where can I find such a village?

[@drebugsita]

@@itzakpoelzig330 probably in villages in Greece

[@louisekullar6629]

I obviously lived in the wrong village!

[@annemurphy8074]

@@itzakpoelzig330 We need to create that within ourselves first. From a place of compassion, love and accept ALL disowned parts of ourselves giving them the safe, loving Home they never had.

[@trapsenpai]

@@annemurphy8074 yes. otherwise the people in the "village" will just keep triggering eachother.

[@iconsnart]

Dr Bessel van der Kolks book The body keeps the score turned my life-long suffering! So much abuse of all kinds, and so much loss. He is so right about the importance of having comfort , care, acknowledgement. My cptsd ruled my life, isolated me. Education by Bessel (and his likes) gave me hope, enlightment and empowered me to heal. Weened of my meds, and got clear to figure things out. Its not easy but worth every single babystep. Found the real me. Bessel has all my respect and gratitude 🙏

[@belindaransom8478]

Many adoptees have Complex PTSD because infants’ nervous systems learn to regulate through their birth mother’s interactions with them. The child actually doesn’t even realize it’s a separate being from its mother when it’s born. So, when it’s life force & everything it recognizes suddenly disappears and never comes back, its nervous system goes into a hyperactive (anxious) state & often never returns to a regulated state. I had no idea that I was anxious 24/7 until I was 31 years old and did yoga for the first time & it calmed my nervous system. That was the first time in my life I ever had the feeling of “calm” in my body! I burned slap out at 47 and 11 years, 50,000+ minutes meditated and multiple EMDR Sessions, I still sometimes struggle with anxiety whenever I’m triggered. And often, I don’t even know what triggered me. It’s crazy!

[@sundayoliver3147]

In my own experience, you don't have to know what triggered you - just having access to the triggered/triggering feeling is enough, if you can bring that feeling to an effective way of healing. Historical and intellectual knowledge, in my experience, are a helpful part of healing, but not adequate to do the whole job-- as your yoga story relates, it needs to be an experience, not just a thought or feeling. Hope that's helpful-- and I think everyone in this culture is constantly urged to be anxious in a thousand different ways, so there's that.

[@ozywomandius2290]

Watching two doctors discuss becoming more compassionate with patients with complicated issues brought me to tears. More of this, please Universe, more of this. Once we get through this lack of understanding, I feel things can be better for both doc and patient.

[@yvettewalker-bx1eg]

EMDR saved my life! I had severe anxiety with panic attacks and EMDR brought my traumatic event back to my consciousness! I am still trying to recover from my fibromyalgia (pain can be a form of self-punishment) but my anxiety is almost 100% gone which is a true miracle! Thank you drs for your compassion and help that you offer your patients and this information for us!

[@МыколаНетребко]

I'm glad you are feeling better. Your comment on self punishment caught my attention. What are some ways to figure out why we self punish and how to stop that?

[@yvettewalker-bx1eg]

@@МыколаНетребко when we subconsciously feel guilty or responsible for our trauma in my case I was told it was my fault when I was sexually abused at 4! The body holds trauma and manifests in different sickness or conditions. They say deep massage yoga meditation tai chi etc can help. Do EMDR too

[@anitapaul230]

Yvette check PMS Dr. Sarno, it also can help for FM

[@JoJo-xz5rb]

Very interesting. Please How can pain be a punishment. I have never heard of this. I have alot of pain in shoulder. No scan can find out why. Why can the past bring pain. I'd be happy at long last if it wasn't for this pain.

[@yvettewalker-bx1eg]

@@JoJo-xz5rb trauma and so many emotions are held in the body.

[@JustinRM20]

As a social worker, 24:00 really resonated with me. The frustration caused by poor management, budget cuts and what I presume to be intentional obstructing in progress of beter treatment/care turns you bitter. Not everyone reacts that way, but I certainly do and it's led me to find a better paying, less stressful job. I came into the field with good intentions a bright, young man, and left bitter and disillusioned. I hope mankind can eventually ascend to a more inclusive, responsible society - only time will tell. I will focus my attention where I can make a difference, but hard work like dr. van der Kolk does will always be necessary to progress further.

[@HeatherFaraMS]

What do you do now?

[@JustinRM20]

@@HeatherFaraMS I have my own company. Still healthcare related, but I determine what jobs/challenges I accept and set my own rate and working hours/schedule. Not having to see the same people everyday has been a blessing in the sense of regaining hope for healthcare. Workers become hospitalized fast, so it’s important to keep a fresh perspective and try new things.

[@sayusayme7729]

Beautiful

[@enzos711]

RN for 30, HC for 40 .. Our Psych and HC System Resources are a inhumane nightmare ..

[@mumsthwd]

So glad you had a talk with Dr. Bessel. If I could give a thousand thumbs up I would. This was one of the best interviews I have seen with him. I credit that to you and how you interview your guests.

[@goodquestion8064]

I’m a 53 year old narcissistic abuse survivor, The last four years of lockdowns and fear mongering and now wars, I feel will leave our children with severe trauma later in life ,, the last four years has been so traumatic fir humanity, now we must sit and watch the outcomes… it’s so heartbreaking

[@Jennifer-gr7hn]

OR change the direction of the outcomes. What was needed to be modeled was not obeying the narcissistic global leaders. We can only blame "them" (narcs) to the extent we've enabled them in some ways. I refused to obey them, due to gang style family abuse on me so I learned how the world worked, before kindergarten. It led me to extreme empathy which killed me eventually in 2020. I was. nurse working the frontline and became a patient in 2020, neglected of basic care which lit a match to the 40 years of traumas leading up to that. Yes, it was a war as well -- psychological, pathogenic, and pathological. The smart devices were also a tool to destroy humanity....many forge that one! That came before the lockdowns, so people were already addicted to brainwashing and distractions. Past wars, people were in community and didn't fear each other. This one? Fear bred selfishness and it was disgusting to watch!

[@sumernoel1553]

Me too. I’ve been struggling to cope with the events of the last few years because it triggered the narcissistic abuse I’ve endured. Watching the world suffer through a pandemic AND then watching a narcissist wreak havoc over our country has really struck a deep chord of fear in me. Seeing people become hateful, divisive, violent because they are following a madman. I feel like I’m watching a horror movie & I’m screaming ‘don’t open that door!’ But no one can hear me. Now, I think I’m experiencing CPTSD. I’m scared where all this will go because I know what narcissists are capable of.

[@majorkuntz]

‘Survivor’. I hate the use of this word here. Your life was not at risk. You survived nothing, you merely lived through it. There’s a big difference. People in war survive. Victims of violence, survive. We need to stop using this word so liberally.

[@visionvixxen]

Been laying in bed most days even when I’m taking my stimulants and don’t even know if it’s depression or trauma, but nothing seems to help me

[@TanyaDavis954]

​@@sumernoel1553trump is not a narcissist.

[@orangecountyhouse]

Not only tell your story but the people who are responsible for the trauma need to be accountable.

[@Kittiesinclair5]

I agree, they should be held accountable. WHO will do that? Their victim? The most powerless person in the situation? Bullies do not respect their victim, herefore they wont accept any ‘request’ for accountability. Authorities wont do anything to hold bullies accountable because victims arent important to them. So how can this come about? I would really like to know.

[@jeannew1000]

You definitely can't expect that as part of your healing journey. Many of the people that hurt us will never take accountability. And that's what acceptance comes in. We have to accept that they were sick people and hurt us and it wasn't our fault. We can't expect the people that broke us to fix us. If the people that hurt us were truly sorry for what they did they would have already apologized and took accountability. We need to learn to validate our own feelings

[@lindagrace2]

That is unrealistic. Sometimes those people are dead, more often they will never acknowledge what they've done (or they likely wouldn't have done what they did to begin with).

[@robynhope219]

@@jeannew1000 👍well said!

[@judydyer]

I believe that when one acknowledges and addresses their problem everything they do helps. Yoga, meditation, study, therapy, running, sharing with the right people ....just keep being active.

[@TanyaDavis954]

❤❤❤

[@frantsel5711]

What I absolutely dislike about the whole trauma topic is that most experts only talk about those heavy cases. It is enough when the mother is depressed or also traumatized that the child will get severe damage from that.

[@TanyaDavis954]

Of course, in the good old court systems will enable it. Putting mothers through endless trauma.

[@user-eg6tb4tn9m]

I have only listened to 7min 21 so far and I am already in tears because it rings so true what's being said...!

[@Myheartofthematter]

I'm so glad you have spoken about how doctors can re-traumatise people, I've recently experienced this firsthand to the point where I avoid doctors as much as possible. What was already a highly traumatising experience for me was made far worse when I reached out for support from the NHS. Even with counselling, this too I have found to be very distressing when the therapist doesn't understand the nature of trauma, it's still treated as an individual's problem. I was actually told that assessments are carried out to see how they can support me with MY problem! I find myself educating professionals on what trauma is these days after all the decades of what I now know to be CPTSD being treated as something trivial..'an unspecified anxiety disorder' is on my records. Medication in the long term has given me more to deal with. The more I understand what's going on for me internally and the external connections the more isolated I've become, not feel, become as people sideline me when I talk about trauma presumably because they don't want to face their own. My housing provider is the worst when it comes to understanding what trauma is, what they put their 'customers' through is terrifying in terms of just how much harm they cause people. I preferred the ignorance I had prior to finding out what these people are really like, and how uneducated and incompetent they actually are and I believed the problems were mine, at least then I had enthusiasm in believing all I needed to do for a better life was to improve myself. Now I mostly feel despair as I heal myself simply by feeling whatever I feel because despite doing well with this and gaining confidence to be able to speak out and have my needs met what I see all around me is a culture going backward in terms of intimacy and support. I feel doubtful that I'm going to meet even just one person that I can connect with on the deeper level we need. I imagine this is a reflection of my past experiences, I hope so because I don't want to live but keep myself alive so as not to put my adult children through the pain of my giving up. I'm too tired for more superficial relationships.

[@newleft2254]

I find that the best thing to do is not disclose your situation to the average Joe unless you get some solid evidence that they are trauma informed or have been through something catastrophic themselves. Most people in this world are deeply uneducated and on autopilot just getting by day to day. Not their fault either. We aren’t raised in societies to value humans and to lead meaningful lives. We live in capitalist consumer societies based on competition. You have to fake competence and confidence to get what you want from people and only a handful will deserve to hear your story. Most people do not deserve to see your vulnerability.

[@annacarson887]

Thank you so much for your comment. I identify with a great deal of what you have said. The first time I spoke to a doctor about my trauma he laughed. Years later having tried private therapies without much benefit I bit the bullet and tried the NHS again. To find a trauma specialist ( who really only did talk therapy) I had to go through initial counselling where I had other medical staff come into the room unannounced and the counsellor told me it couldn’t have been that bad and my parent probably didn’t mean it! I could go on. I too am very isolated and long for some form of intimacy in a relationship.. to be seen and heard would be a marvellous thing. Being held would be heaven but you even a cup of tea is hard to come by. This interview has been amazingly supportive for me so I hope you got a sense of that too. Good luck on your journey. 🙏🌸

[@dianeshannon7988]

Correct about a lot of issues

[@laorientalm2554]

@Myheartofthematter Join the CPTSD Foundation. I'm there and it's a safe place for those of us who have CPTSD. 💞🙏🏼

[@ozarkcyn1]

I'm so sorry you went through this and I did too. I ALWAYS make comments on any podcast where I hear victim bashing. No one wants to be a victim of hate. THE SHIFT MUST HAPPEN TO PREVENTION AND FOCUS ON THOSE WHO HARM OTHERS TO STOP THEM FROM HARMING.

[@yvonne5580]

As someone with fibromyalgia for 30 years I have tried multiple approaches mostly on my own but some work with functional medicine practitioner along with last 15 years doing myofascial therapy. This discussion of trauma and the nervous system dysregulation and attachment trauma is really resonating with me. Currently I am in a course Trauma Healing Accelerated with Dr Aime Apigan. I only remember my body feeling afraid my entire childhood. Thank you for addressing this. I am stuck in freeze overwhelm response which shut my body down almost completely. I had no ability to stand up 30 years ago. I was traumatized giving birth to my first child and doctor broke my tailbone violently during the delivery using forceps but this showed up in my body 12 years later. This is such important work to explore

[@karenb5616]

I also did the course with Dr Aimie and it was more valuable than 20 years of therapy. Also far easier, less intimidating (kind of fun at times) And WAY less expensive.

[@heidrunlehmann1023]

I was multitraumatized and retraumatized in Psychosomatik clinic...Then I went to someone who dealed with reincarnation sawing me as a murder ....and after more then 100 sessions I nearly went into Psychosis... I was a general physician...and I agree with all you say...we all want to survive .and in the Dephts we all look for beeing loved and want to give love.... And love compassion and having a place of security would heal us all.... LOVE is the answer... Thank you for this podcast...Be blessed

[@hartytech]

I want to hug you and tell you in this world, you were meant to be a healer. Loving and healing is you purpose in life. Some 'therapy' as u have experienced it, is nothing but money raising rubbish. Don't take their rubbish on board. I'd guess you have sense of guilt they are preying on to keep you paying. Find a natural view, a vista of a mountain, or horizon, of something that gives you a sense of magisty and drink it in, let it give you its perspective and energy, and start afresh. Xxx. You can do it.

[@nicolereed578]

psilocybin experience is a way to connect with our natural self and gain a deeper appreciation for our place within it."

[@deereed1627]

Taking shrooms was a profound experience, one of the most important things in my life, I now see things the right way.

[@morgancr1993]

Let's be adults about this. These are no longer 'shrooms. These are no longer party drugs for young people," "Psilocybin mushrooms are nonaddictive, life-changing substances.

[@Joe-bh7pf]

Heard so much about magic mushrooms I'lld like to give it a try please where do I get?

[@morgancr1993]

dr.garyshroom

[@morgancr1993]

Doc.toddshrooms

[@janicealmond3330]

It was hard to recover when my family & friends invalidated my trauma, weren't there for me , I needed to make new friends , for support

[@noremac4807]

That is awful. Sorry to hear that. Was it overt invalidation, or did they just not understand?

[@sinqobilem]

You’re so brave for doing that, making new friends when you’re so fragile and vulnerable is incredibly hard

[@malnir643]

@@sinqobilem exactly. i could not

[@janie88ful]

I JUST LEARNED MORE FROM THIS VIDEO THAN BEING IN REHAB 7 TIMES FROM MY CONCOCTIONS TO STAY NUMB. THANK YOU ❤️ MY LIFE IS NEW. I AM AMAZED ❤

[@Maddie9185]

40:09 this was the holy grail on this topic. 40:19 40:29 that’s why I am proactive with my mental health because it helps me to know that I have some control over my situation. Listening to podcasts like these has helped me to understand and for me understanding ins essential because I feel empowered.

[@sinqobilem]

I think you’d like Irene Lyon’s video on how trauma is released. Very informative video

[@curiousone6435]

I love it that Dr. Van Der Kolk criticizes the notion of "compliance" in supposedly therapeutic settings. That culture of compliance can also be fertile ground for abuse by doctors who are predatory and it robs people who are trying to improve their lives with agency. As he started to explain in the beginning, those who are traumatized feel a sense of powerlessness and lack of control. That is a major factor in the distrust and despair. Great conversation!

[@Nicstarmoore]

I’ve been on a journey to heal my trauma for many years now and I’ve never heard anyone bring together all the threads of info as well as this podcast. Bravo

[@gitimakouee5937]

My son is suffering from some sort of virtuel really sad sad sad face

[@lolam.5062]

And my other friend, Dr Gabor Maté's work is incredible 2❤

[@gabriellejacobsen6203]

Finely after a lifetime of being unheard, and Misdiagnosis, or dismissed and told it's all in your head... Or your depressed!! how Deming... as an intelligent Woman at 65 I'm only just becoming healthy and integrated... I became my own Dr. Some 20 years ago. Thankyou so much for being open and forever expanding your awareness Dr. Your an incredible Man, Your Guest is Well informed as is Gaba Matt both incredible.....

[@juliearcand2358]

Fascinating about neuro feedback. After over 30 years of intensive therapy for attachment and having an excellent dr who understood that about me was very helpful but it has taken a lifetime. I was a very scared child and my adaptation was to laser focus on whomever was in front of me including teacher’s and know what they wanted so I've never gotten less than an A in any academic class, college or grammar school. My best friend ex husband had a very different experience where he was too lost to be able to learn (I never completed my degree but maybe one day) but how different his life could have been an millions of children who simply cannot focus at school because of home life truama...this should be in every single school!

[@lizinawe]

Trauma affects those in a society who want to forget...brilliant!!! And so true. AS a therapist working to have clients deal with their abuse is hard enough. Not getting support from their community can re-victimize over and over. Teaching clients to feel empoweref and be praised for their copng skills while offering curative treatment is magical when you see the transición. Dr van Der kolk. You have been one of my héroes and your first book guided me into a whole new dirección. Blessings to both of you

[@peacefulisland67]

Over the years one of the things I've been taught is that other people or situations don't "make me" react in any particular way. They are simply catalysts; potential triggers. No one can make me have a bad day, or be in a bad mood. The same with joy. It's all about how I choose to hold any moment, and the way I orient my life. Another bit to keep in mind is most of us westerners have to unlearn extreme independence. We've been raised with the goal of leaving home as quickly as possible (most of us) whether we're prepared or not. Failure to get out and have our own home is, well, failure. Now a few folks are seeing that exercising, watching movies, playing games, cooking 'together' is really great for health and mental well-being. Funny how easily that was all dismissed.

[@eriku571]

I've experienced and healed from tragic traumatic experiences. I found Ballroom dancing to be extremely healing from my traumatic experiences in a community of caring dance professionals. There's a lot to study in that aspect. This is top notch material here to understand trauma and the meaning behind it to release ourselves of shame and secrecy. I wouldn't have learned all that l have if it wasn't for the traumatic experiences l have had.

[@Bachconcertos]

Thanks I was thinking of taking up dance again.

[@amberfuchs398]

Oh, you might like the interview Tim Ferris did with Sue Johnson. She's an attachment expert and her and Tim discuss how connecting tango has been for both of them.

[@eriku571]

@@amberfuchs398 Thank you for your suggestion They've had several interviews together. Do you know which video it is?

[@gifthorse9779]

Hypnotherapy can also be useful. The therapist relaxes you so much that you can talk about your experience without getting overwhelmed by distressful feelings.

[@Schizopantheist]

My life is also being transformed by The Body Keeps The Score. Thanks to Bessel van Der Kolk And thanks to Dr. Chatterjee for the excellent interview. If only all physicians could attend to this!

[@eloiselovesdevi]

1:25:00 “every bit of adversity in life tends to have an upside at some point” Thanks for saying this Dr C, it is so true and something I needed to hear today!

[@spennny1000]

Oooh thanks for putting the time up for this

[@noremac4807]

I was badly impacted by the insane overreaction of the past few years and then traumatised by the discrimination and bullying that played out, losing my career, home and mental health. There was no mental health support

[@chloeindigo]

Exact same story here. Resulted in cptsd in adulthood

[@user-gv2sc8vf8p]

Omg same

[@LucyLeonty]

Please take care of yourself. Love yourself and be kind to you . Good luck, my friend ❤

[@junipersnow1]

It would probably help being raised honestly, tell our kids the truth, like, its a mean cruel world and there are no friends and family for some of us if the sh*t hits the fan (not when you die everything is better, you do right, follow certain religions you go to this SAFE place they call Heaven, till then , screw you lol how do we expect anyone to understand reality with that background)......Friends and family dont know how to help people in that situation, like us, so we get Isolated.... I didnt realize I had zero support until I couldnt do it all myself.... Yes, unless you are independently wealthy there is very little support, Disability in America takes Years to get.... Every doctor tells you what there pharmaceutical companies would say.... I have millionaire friends on Disability from cancer but middle class like myself with ailments will loose jobs, take years to prove your citizenship even though our family were here for over 120 years and lose houses and be on the streets if you cant pay your own way, Taxes are designed to take your house eventually....I thought that only happens in third world countries.... America does not care about you, we can kill in the military for generations, Pay 3 times the taxes all our lives on every dollar we make or work for the government and If you dont do that every generation , you are not supported as an American citizen, you get sick in America you loose it ALL (im in the middle of it now in real time).... We have to fight 100% time to keep our rights or get disability in usa and they are dwindling fast.

[@truthsearcher]

Exactly, knowing it was all a pLandemic and realising everything we've ever been led to believe is a lie has been a hard pill to swallow. It's effected my mental health massively xx

[@pranava9862]

At 44min start speaking on importance of body mvt. 18mos ago i retired from a sit down job. In the course of past 8 mos my body has quickly and significantly deteriorated. Muscle atrophy has set in. To undo this is very hard. Im now doing stretching, changing diet. I may add body posture has contributed. Being a large breasted overweight woman is taking its toll. A strong core is important. It holds us together. We are born to MOVE MOVE AND MOVE this body. My best advice is to keep moving...this is a great interview❤

[@Maddie9185]

I’ve done both Yoga and Qigong and I find when it comes to trauma and emotions, Qigong has really made a huge difference for me. I’ve done yoga for over 15 years and I can attest to its many great benefits. But Qigong has been great at releasing that trauma from the body,JME.

[@amysworld795]

Please can you let me know which Qigong exercises will be grateful

[@noremac4807]

Dealing with the grief and trauma of 5 brutal months of bullying and loss of executive career, livelihood and home. Feels like I will never feel safe or at peace again.

[@elin_]

I think you can succeed. I was bullied for years.. it does leave scars, but you learn to live with it :/ I hope your living situation is under control now though.

[@Kittiesinclair5]

The same thing happened to me. I searched for a reason, for evidence of why, as there was no evidence that ‘I’ had done anything wrong or ‘deserving’ of that ostracism. They had blamed me for things that did not even happen…and this is the key. Bullying does not make sense. Bullies do it because of who they are, nothing to do with you. It was just coincidence that you happened to be the target and not someone else. Often the very traits that we strive to develop as a good employee make us targets of bullying. Efficiency, adaptability, ingenuity, kindness, etc etc…these traits somehow anger or ‘threaten’ bullies and they feel they must attack it or stop it somehow. The most cruel and stupid thing is that society rewards this kind of behaviour. I have survived in part because I recognized this, and I said to myself, ‘well i guess this is what society wants. Authorities acknowledged what happened to me but refused to do anything. I had to say ‘well then this is what the authorities want’ because they arent preventing or correcting it. I believe in consequences of decisions. So if they want me to have no career despite all i have done to try and get one, then they can receive no income tax from me, because I dont have a job, and they can pay my living expenses when I qualify for assistance based in trauma/mental health disability. This is what they want and WE did not choose it.

[@ordinaryvalley]

Another part of being stuck in a trauma response is the anticipation of danger. We become overreactive yes but before that we were already anticipating something to go wrong subconsciously..this is true especially for relational trauma.. We almost expect to be hurt and most of the time we set ourselves up for getting hurt and THEN react. Repitition compulsion.

[@a.phillips6892]

Ballet is my paradigm..it has been a mainstay in my life for almost all of my life so far. It is my inner peace and calm. No drugs..I’m dedicated to get through without them, after many ill effects. SO very important to find something physical to do that you love💓

[@winniethuo9736]

I have a friend who is fibromyalgia and the description of it here fits like Cindarella and her shoe. Oh my, I wish that this understanding of trauma will merge within our psyche and mutate us all into healing. Then we shall be capable of doing anything not to cause trauma to anyone. As a parent and a mother's help for a job, I see it daily how challenging it is to live a pure life where love dominates, making it possible to combat daily challenges of parenthood that present themselves due to our unique interpretation; but I am grateful to these kind of insights into the body that is the trauma, stress, anger, failure etcetera because they strengthen me in my job and enable me reduce suffering on a daily basis even tho it's just on the surface most of the time as they are deep rooted where I do not have what it takes to get to the bottom. I feel I help by restoring the moment and by not adding more to the grief. I hope that is what I archive.

[@amberinthemist7912]

This comment was really beautiful. Thank you for your insight.

[@michelefinizio6520]

Thank you so much for this podcast I believe doctors should be honest and sympathetic with their patients who do not have answers concerning their illnesses. Doctors do not know everything they should be more humble and sympathetic with their patients instead of proud and uncaring

[@jellybellyfun3288]

Yes, ALL doctors should be TRAINED to be honest and humble enough outwardly and admit to their patients and other doctors that they are continually learning, that they don't know everything.

[@alvodin6197]

I agree, but preaching doesn't change people. Inform the system and academia. The problem is, when we do implement say "trauma informed care", it becomes a business, a gimmick. Telling people who don't care to care, doesn't work. It has to change from the bottom up. Or else it will be a gimmick,half assed. When enough middle class people know what's going on with trauma, eventually the elite might soften cause they have no choice. We, normal people must first spread the message to the common folk.

[@alvodin6197]

Jelly Belly Fun@ you can't train people to be honest and humble, that would be dishonest and not humble. They would imitate being humble, but that wouldn't be what we want? We need to be what we want others to be, if we do it kindly and they feel safe, they just mirror our behavior and spread that humbleness and honesty. This starts from childhood. We can't train dishonest people to be honest.

[@grandmabear2840]

​@@alvodin6197isn't it called ethics? Teaching the value of honesty and the value of being humble can inform the uniformed.

[@maggiarma950]

@@shahilagh proud and arrogant...... you.ve not experienced a well educated person behaving that way?.. A person with a lack of humility...... the inability to realise that there may be areas of knowledge and training that they lack.. and are therefore are ill equipped to help a patient.

[@cg6067]

To reel out one of my favourite quotes "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" J. Krishnamurti In the meantime, make things, real objects, take up knitting, carpentry, anything that you gets you creative and involved, and stay away from the virtual world as much as possible.

[@TheresaMueller]

One year ago I listened in an online trauma congress, where an amazing finding stuck still to my mind: They found, that when we experience traumatizing situations as children and we were comforted by embracing, then the traumatic experience doesn`t stick to us, because our body releases the tension and it is not being stored in our cells.

[@MaryYaeger-xz9gj]

Yes!❤ I just remembered how animals clean and embrace each other in their way! We need the comfort of caring, nurturing touch! I wonder how people suffered from isolation during Covid, from that terrible fear of closeness and the conflicting need for closeness! I have noticed how people are still walking around in public with their heads down, avoiding eye contact. I’ve noticed how color in design of our environment and in our clothing is evolving! I’m personally planning to wear brighter colors and to decorate in warmer colors! And, music!! Music is so important to me for lifting my mood, calming and opening up my emotions to joy!

[@katharinaherold4357]

Dr. Chatterjee, I love your openmindedness and willingness to learn constantly. I'd love to have a doctor like you.

[@cheminnonpris]

We, my 3 children, now 49+ 47 and 43+, took our most sincere, honest, and Nobel plume to write about trauma. The father, my successful diplomat husband since 1966, and the father of these kids disappeared politically in 1995. Our book starts about 1963, Khomeini's 1st attack. Thanks 1001 Thanks for talking about this hard and destroying subject ❤

[@visionvixxen]

???

[@goych]

That’s not trauma, that’s just stuff happening

[@annacarson887]

Thank you so much for this. I have CPTSD and one of the hardest aspects of the whole experience is not being heard or understood by people in general but especially that inability to understand in my family has caused me to be re traumatised and be extremely isolated. I still find it hard to read others and even myself. This interview has been incredibly helpful informative and supportive. Thank you again

[@moirabijker]

I am already on medication for bipolar 2 mood disorder. I don't intend to stop using it but I also know now that I have compex-PTSD. What happened to me as a child and growing up was just horrendous. I don't know if I will ever recover. But I keep trying.

[@brittanyknol]

❤❤

[@winniecash1654]

One day at a time. Do one thing a day even if it's small. Because it all adds up.

[@KotobukiGirl]

58:00 I'm setting this for myself because over and over again I mention to healers online who quote Dr. van der Kolk, that he says EMDR doesn't work as well with C-PTSD. They ignore me, contradict me, or one even said, "Bessel is not an EMDR therapist." I guess she should know since she's on a first name basis with him, and I'm certainly not. He's a pioneer that has brought so much healing to people like me. I can't imagine the world without his research.

[@andrearenee7845]

The promise of generational healing one child at a time. Love this. More healers, less cops.

[@lamusica1592]

Sexual abuse trauma was surprisingly common, I was surprised how many women ( and sometimes men) confided in me about this when I was in my 20s. Parental trauma was not so common, I felt quite isolated when I realised most of my friends didn't have anything like my experience

[@WatersBreedlove]

No one can hear about parental abuse, even seeing the damage is often not enough to convince those with non-abusive parents.

[@Drew_Hurst]

Decent Humans do care so there is always hope, You are All heard and believed here. Your desire to do what is needed to heal, and never give up, is all that is needed. Take the advice of this wonderful Dr and Guest and of the Guest coming up too, Gabor Mate, and things will improve greatly. Finally coming out of 17 years of chronic pain, and a lifetime of trauma, these past few weeks, never give up. When We heal, We heal the World too.

[@melliecrann-gaoth4789]

@@WatersBreedlove that is a thought to very much consider.

[@davidcorrin7309]

My word! I thought I was the only one who had this experience.

[@annacarson887]

Isolation is such a huge part of the experience and it can really increase our paranoia. I totally agree with you. Sending blessings and virtual support 🙏

[@nicolaloder2969]

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for being so kind and loving and for putting your energies into the deep fragility those of us living with trauma manage every day. I can't honour and salute you both enough.

[@awakenedmomlife]

I’m on a mission to keep sharing this message too! We desperately need more trauma informed medical care and trauma informed education in general. Too many of us are being gaslit and pushed aside. Healing is possible!!

[@anitakirkpatrick3045]

I was reading about fibromyalgia being a trauma response to neural toxins and inflammation in the brain so this makes so much sense.

[@saathoff1220]

I don't even believe there is such a thing as fibromyalgia...I think it's just stuck trauma. I can feel myself holding my muscles tight all the time. My pain doctor told me not long ago that I don't have it.

[@vb1816]

100% agree with what you're saying. I have been put in the “too hard basket” by way too many traditional doctors and even psychologists. I don’t fit in a neat little category, so kept being given depression/anxiety/bipolar meds that were being layered on top of each other, making my system toxic. I was moving further and further away from myself and felt stuck in my shadow... As if I was in a living coma, unable to be heard. I started on a journey of understanding Eastern and more spiritual techniques such as meditation, mindfulness, acupuncture and yoga. While I haven't rid myself of trauma, I have a more natural toolkit to manage it. I have finally now found a therapist who is not afraid of the deep work, and after a couple of decades of time-wasting, I’m actually getting somewhere. Everything stemmed from childhood (baby) trauma... Unlocking this is helping me better understand my unconscious drivers to help me put it to bed and move on in every part of my life. Relief is an understatement!

[@KatWoodland]

@vb1816 Thanks for sharing your experience! I, too, have early childhood trauma. Only now, 60 years later, am I actually able to witness how my unconscious shows up through my actions and inactions, attitudes and beliefs in the now. Near constant vigilance of my thoughts is employed, as I was also verbally berated my entire childhood, teenage years, and young adulthood. Honestly I don’t know how I am still alive.

[@alid3424]

Two of my favorite doctors, right here. So many clinical pearls, gentlemen, thank you for sharing your experience, wisdom and compassion.

[@jellybellyfun3288]

I REALLY appreciate that Dr. Bessel corrected the host when he tried to make a statement Dr. Bessel did not say or mean. I REALLY surprised and shocked at how little the host knows about trauma. That proves how little physicians know about trauma, so that shows up in how they interact with patients.

[@steventhompson7846]

It's exactly the reason mental health gets overstepped. They font know how to treat it. They dont understand the depths of trauma related mental health. Its why psychiatry no is longer considered pseudo science. There is a huge field of care being given by a majority that don't understand it. It's scary.

[@SinghaGerly]

Absolutely. PTSD related trauma has generally nothing to do with emotional trauma caused by divorce or other life events although they might be very hurtful. PTSD is caused by acute traumatic events (rape, agression, car accident, …) which leaves the victime totally devastated. Nightmares, flashbacks, poor sleep, sleep apnea, neuronal hyper vigilance… I didn’t find the hosts questions very helpful.

[@SEVENTHREEANDNINE]

Yes true. I can get a lifetime of visuals and feeling that gut wrenching sensation.. cute that Dr Bessel recommended tango could be a method! I have a toolbox of self care and it’s a major part of my day. Literally scheduled. Work in progress!❤

[@aliciabolton2839]

What are you talking about? Did we listen to the same conversation?

[@theUmovement]

As I’ve been going through intensive self healing for the last 3 years … I realize I’ve never felt safe. What started as a weight loss program to heal my diabetes and sleep apnea turned into a deep dive into connecting to my body to heal one trauma after another as things surfaced. Still a work in progress but the body is definitely the keeper of all the trauma locked in it for 50 years. So pleased this information is finally being talked about and recognized. I was retraumatized over and over again through uneducated drs. And counselling all my life.

[@velvetvoiceartist7733]

I hear you loud and clear. I’m sorry you went through more trauma in an effort to seek help.🤦🏽‍♀️ I’ve been there, too. 🙏🏽❤️‍🩹

[@theUmovement]

@@velvetvoiceartist7733 we are warriors! That why I started my KZbin to help others like us. I’m sorry you’re experienced similar situations. 😢

[@keannakelly7993]

Hey, did the exercises trigger something within you? I started a workout program. This is my second week and after the class was over I felt like I was having a panic attack. I started thinking about this guy that ghosted me. It was traumatizing, but I craved him.

[@theUmovement]

@@keannakelly7993 yes. Exercise triggers the release of memory trapped in your body. Sounds very twin flame situation. I have videos on both trauma releases and my twin flame journey. They trigger your awakening (your healing journey) and then disappear out of your life. But the triggering (like cravings) doesn’t stop. It does however get tolerable.

[@Jill_SmokeandMirrors]

This conversation has just made sense of some key pieces of my life. I was a traumatised kid (emotionally abusive father who didn't want me, suicidal mother, running away to another country with her aged 7 and against 10) and I found my salvation through making and performing in theatre shows. Uni was the happiest and most healing time of my life where I got to stop pretending what I thought 'socially acceptable' was and dissociating and I got to fully inhabit my body again through making dance and theatre 24/7. I had a body and a voice and finally received positive feedback on exploring facets of myself that had previously been so badly rejected. I have never been as happy as I was back then and have repeatedly tried and failed to return to a practical creative role since my undergraduate days. This conversation is making me understand how vital it is for me to start making theatre and dance again and regaining my sense of agency and wellness as well as for career reasons. Thank you.

[@wholeenchilada3910]

When Vanderculk said that traumatized people become intolerable to themselves, that resonated very deeply. I know exactly what that feels like. It was a relief to hear him say it out loud. I feel a little less freakish after hearing that.

[@Coach.Kallista]

I have been an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner for 20 years. It was thrilling and empowering to see him reference EFT (aka tapping) several times in his book. I've seen EFT be hugely effective in my own life and that of my clients. As the trauma clears, we become empowered individuals capable of so much more.

[@drebugsita]

I've heard of it but didn't realize it had such backing. Thank you for sharing!

[@carolineleneghan119]

Whar is it that would make tapping effective? I just don't understand it and how it would work

[@Coach.Kallista]

@@carolineleneghan119 You are welcome to come to my open sessions. The tapping (acupuncture without needles) works along the body's energy meridians in conjunction with the phrases that play into the subconscious. studies demonstrate that the results are not just subjective but can be demonstrated with MRI scans, blood work (drop in cortisol levels,...).

[@Coach.Kallista]

@@drebugsita There have been over 200 studies and likely soon over 300 studies that show it's effectiveness. I have visuals with the results on my website. Unfortunately I can't upload them here. Not only are the results there but also long lasting thus it is a cost effective modality as it truly works.

[@bebamayer9744]

Right brain, left brain excersizes

[@akb2756]

This man's work had been life changing. If you have complex PTSD you have to read his book. Also The Body Remembers, by Babette Rothschiild. Working with a somatic psycho-therapist, using these books has transformed my reactions to everyday situations, to the triggers that were once dibilitating.

[@sandramillner4160]

Also read Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving

[@thaisrodrigues9947]

Honestly, we all have complex trauma

[@SG-es2hf]

So grateful for this interview. After doing neurofeedback, tapping & some others I'm finally listening to this audiobook & will work through the workbook next. It helps to understand the whys & hows of a serene life after trauma. Thank you!

[@itzakpoelzig330]

Did neurofeedback help you? And if so, what condition did it help with? I'm thinking of trying that next.

[@AkshayKumar-fj3ks]

Explain neurofeedback

[@1LaOriental]

I underwent Neurofeedback in Bessel Van Der Kolk’s clinic. It was so poorly done it was embarrassing… several thousand dollars down the drain…

[@adityachopra7328]

35:22 Recover, open up pathways of self-experience, gently reconnect with self. Yoga, 39:00 Movement and life 48:44 power, visceral, control, recover from trauma 51:55 choir, singing, theater 57:25 tapping, chinese acupuncture, physiological arousal 1:00:00 Emdr, salience network,

[@htmc2022]

So that’s why people end up screaming about minor issues such as someone jumped the queue in front of them in a lineup at a grocery store. Sometimes that unfairness is the “last straw” and someone has a meltdown over a minor event.

[@winniecash1654]

Happens to me frequently. Unfortunately. I apologize to people all week long when i realize I'm losing it.

[@jeannew1000]

Most definitely that can be why That's why when I see someone going off in the store or acting irrationally I give them grace and understand that I don't know what they're dealing with. I don't take it personally because it's not about me

[@louarmstrong6128]

Road Rage too 😮😮