Oneyplays- The trilogy of ABHORRENT dialogue (Forspoken)

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[@goblinbabe]

“Home sweet hell” and it’s the biggest apartment I’ve ever seen

[@Outpost38C]

In NEW YORK of all places

[@Austrveg]

When the magical black girl thief complains that her apartment is 10x the size of your own one

[@Mantis-ti5ve]

Did i just bankrupt a studio?! With my frikkin' mind?!

[@bread64]

Oh yeah by the way happy almost birthday

[@reconboy0454]

​@@bread64*cakeday

[@theInfiniteEgg-z8i]

@@reconboy0454people who aren’t terminally online don’t say that shit weirdo.

[@jmass4207]

Your voice contributed.

[@Cheezy_Bunz]

@@reconboy0454 This isnt reddit.

[@JD23_]

I didn’t understand the symbolism behind the main character picking up the Alice inside of wonderland book. But when she looked directly at the camera and said “I wish I could fall down a rabbit hole like the classic tale Alice inside of wonderland.” It all came together for me. Bravo.

[@baronvonbeandip]

Should've had her pick up Kafka's Metamorphosis.

[@jerrysmith8814]

Those writers are modern day SHAKESPEARES and I don't give a FRICK what anyone says

[@dumm9714]

​@@baronvonbeandipat least the story would be more interesting if they do a kafkaesque than this abomination of joss whedon wannabe quip line compilation

[@blackula911]

@@jerrysmith8814 agreed, they should go on strike to get paid more

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

Luke Skywalker looking at the sunset: "Man...I sure do wish I could escape my tedious and mundane farmer boy life and run off with a rag tag group of misfits to take down an evil, tyrannical, intergalactic empire or something..."

[@_Devil]

Gabe Newell once said something along the lines of "If all your characters dialogue are just things the player says in their head, your character doesn't need a voice" in reference to why Gordon never got a VA

[@oldskoolproductions5]

I'm trying really hard to find a source for this. Do you have it?

[@starwolfbros]

@@oldskoolproductions5 Maybe the documentary they did about the 25th anniversary of half life.

[@_Devil]

@@starwolfbros I also don't remember the exact quote but it was something along those lines

[@AshCosgrove]

He's a wise man with a bad beard.

[@corsojames]

​@@AshCosgrove wise man that refuses to keep making games. I miss valve's values in the game market, fun replayable games for like $20 - $30 with free DLC and updates

[@deifiedtitan]

The writers thinking you’d have no consequences for talking over a judge while they’re trying to sentence you is fucking hilarious. Instant contempt.

[@bread64]

Oh yeah i almost forgot happy almost birthday

[@ItsRyanHello]

Shouldve used her black girl magic

[@kodybuffettwilson]

@@bread64 *cake day

[@saturniidspectre]

In Far Cry 3, Jason should've looked at the blood on his hands after killing Vaas and said "Aww man, I gueeeesssss I'm just the same as him. A murderer, hrmmm."

[@BababooeyGooey]

Well to be fair, there was the scene where he finally found his brother, but in order to maintain cover as a privateer he brutally beats the shit out of him. Then after that's done he looks at his bloody hands and says "What have I become?" so melodramatically. But yeah, even that cliche is leagues beyond Forspoken's God awful dialogue.

[@saturniidspectre]

@@BababooeyGooey Riley would've said "Still not as painful as staying up all night studying for my liberal arts exam, DOINK!"

[@coltonwhite2518]

​​​@@BababooeyGooeyThe thing is by that point Jason has brutally killed hundreds of people with a machete, was drugged into fucking a crazy tribal leader while high off his balls, had been brainwashed into thinking he was this warrior god-killing machine, and has become so desensitized about his friends that he doesn't even hesitate to torture his own brother if it means getting revenge and pleasing his Malaysian qween. The game had earned it's "Oh my God I'm so fucked up" scene whereas all this game earned was getting thrown into a blender.

[@utes5532]

"Well, I wasn't expecting THIS when I was told to go on a tropical vacation!" -Jason, being human trafficked by pirates

[@halp9887]

Now that I think about it Far Cry 3 also has Alice in Wonderland quotes on the loading screens, but Jason is never like “Oh golly gee! I appear to be lost in the wonderland now!”

[@thenintendocyclops1074]

"WE KNOW THE FUCKIN' PLOOOOOT!!" Is a wonderful thing to yell in outrage and I hope that Zach finds a way to work that into a Smiling Friends episode

[@MichaelBurkhalter]

Imagine a scene where they’re playing this in the office 😂

[@SmellerTheFirst]

Smiling friends episode that is just an episode of the oneyplays forspoken series

[@Ennarmreal]

That's such a strange moment to cherry pick and put into a show

[@UrBrainzAreNotZafe]

It could be useful to make an episode about poking fun at an overused trope

[@ruggiebuggie3195]

I hope he puts me in an episode since I’m his fake internet friend. Golly gosh. I sure hope he does that.

[@josephyoseph]

The “Found You” was written on the outside of her window, meaning that the gang people spray painted it on backwards

[@blackula911]

or they went inside her house and painted on the inside. It is this kind of creative storytelling that inspires fanbases for years

[@PlayaHatin]

@@blackula911bro shut up

[@nahman3836]

Smart criminals

[@MJelly-yj8kp]

in such a magnificent display of writing prowess, the creators have subtly demonstrated that while these playful youths may be willing to commit, I'll be honest, not-so-good acts, they still have enough compassion towards the recipients of their mischief as to write their messages in a way that can be read without issues! This quality writing of epic, celestial proportions must come only once in our short lifetimes!

[@CasshernSinz1613]

​@@blackula911 no its definitely from the outside. You can see the frame of the window in between the paint

[@Blue-jy4rf]

Someone said the scene of fray making witty comebacks while getting beaten up by thugs was a scene straight out of xavier renegade angel, and its too true.

[@ericg1100]

Love xavier renegade angel

[@Scanlaid]

Tomar what if you woke up with a bootyhole the size of a wine bottle fat end first

[@jimjamauto]

"Did I...just DO that?" -Xavier

[@hk1371]

"TAKE THAT!" "TASTE THE PAIN!"

[@Fuzzylemonade222]

She just bricked me!

[@Jombo1]

"I just pooed shit.... with my behind!"

[@kidgohan7158]

Toot

[@yosh9192]

Brap

[@nordlawt8242]

Feces of a doodoo nature

[@parashaahsas8308]

Paaarp

[@Anothertickinthewall]

*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH*

[@magik4353]

I'm surprised when she was handed the big apple, she didn't say "i used to live in a place called the big apple. Its called New York City."

[@Virjunior01]

That would actually have been a bit clever, if she was ever wistful around other people. But still kinda cringe and contrived.

[@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift]

i used to live in a place called the big apple. Its called Omaha

[@cellardweller5245]

Brainrot got to me, fcking read this one as "It's called Obama", nearly spit out my lungs from laughing​@@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift

[@Metallijosh100]

​@@cellardweller5245 I thought you were referencing the original comment and was wondering how "New York City" became "Obama" - I thought wow the brainrot must be real bad.

[@pajamapantsjack5874]

It’s crazy but I think every single person who wrote for this game probably saw all the backlash and went “am I so out of touch…no it’s everyone else who’s wrong” and will continue to write like this in every game they work on

[@ChipsForBreakfastCFB]

"I'm glad these writers went on strike to get paid better."

[@Alderath989]

You're everywhere man!

[@despairgaming3605]

I feel like anybody who wrote for this game omits it from their resume so they can get a job.

[@Mtv-get-off-thee-air]

armin tamzarian

[@Toddfrommario]

The writers are most likely malnourished from being vegan and have vitamin D deficiency

[@VoidPlugger]

“That is something I do now” makes me seethe with rage at the level of incompetent writing here

[@MaximilianonMars]

"They fly now??" Marvel-tier writing by incompetent manlets and bugmen. May their flesh be consumed.

[@Virjunior01]

They fly now?

[@W4t3rf1r3]

Idk how the line is in context but if they were going for comedy then I think it's excellent

[@ThisRantinger]

⁠@@W4t3rf1r3no, just no

[@Ingaldre]

LYRICS BY VOIDPLUGGER 🔥🔥

[@oleandersoup]

Still the most unrealistic thing is the 1200 square foot abandoned yet still livable apartment in new york city

[@KeepCalmSoldierOn]

What always gets me is "home sweet hell" I know friends who lived in much worse apartments during college. That's a big ass apartment for NYC.

[@RileyWritey]

It's because executives' concept of hell is the average lower middle class household. They wouldn't survive a week in the conditions most people actually live with.

[@Logandroid]

I also hate that line because she could’ve just said “home sweet home…” in weary tone and it would’ve conveyed the same thing but less obnoxiously, but the writers have the subtlety of a jackhammer.

[@IDonotHaveAGoodName]

​@@Logandroidat least ai would write more thoughtfully.

[@senLuno]

​@@IDonotHaveAGoodName ai may actually save some of these garbage studios and I don't like that

[@pheunithpsychic-watertype9881]

​@@Logandroidthey would call it a jill hammer

[@SnagTheRabbit]

As bad as the dialogue is, one of the things that boggles me about this game is how it completely misses the point of Alice In Wonderland as a story. It's not just a story where a girl gets transported to a magic world, but it's supposed to demonstrate how Alice (a young girl) views the adults and the adult world around her. As a child, it can seem like nothing makes sense, and Wonderland is supposed to show Alice adapting to her surroundings and ultimately growing up. It's a character piece. Not just a colorful bedtime story. It's like all this game saw was a girl going to a fantasy world and saw nothing else from that story. Frey doesn't change, doesn't grow. She just goes to a magic world and gets cool magic powers and learns nothing.

[@adrianaslund8605]

The guy who wrote it also hated modern mathematics. And it was partly a convoluted criticism of math.

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

@@adrianaslund8605 that sounds like the drivel that would come from the scarf wearer ive heard described

[@adrianaslund8605]

@@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat Im just telling you what Ive heard.

[@ArchieRatsworth]

There's also a lot of political satire in Alice in Wonderland. See the Caucus race where everyone spends effort going nowhere and then demand prizes from Alice.

[@RileyWritey]

​@@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat Not drivel, actually. Lewis Carroll was an Oxford mathematician, he was very passionate about it and there's quite a few mathematical references in his writing.

[@Anon13430]

Half Life would have been such a good series if Gordon Freeman said "Hang on, am I seriously shooting zombies/aliens right now?!" every 5 minutes

[@SpiderkillersInc]

Ah yes, Freeman’s Mind.

[@BarbieDreamDungeon]

Gotta say the slash part out loud too

[@trime1015]

I loved when the gang member said "You will burn" and then set her house on fire. Truly immaculate foreshadowing. Insanely clever writing, wowzers!!

[@colorblockpoprocks6973]

imagine them addressing frey's lack of respect for the gang and going "what, you think youre *hot shit* or something?" that couldve been some okay forespeaking

[@colorblockpoprocks6973]

even funnier in that case if the apartment fire was started with a flaming bag of feces

[@ElizabethCurtis-q8c]

When I played the game I thought she yelled “you will fart” and honestly I think that was better. Think of the possibilities.

[@biospark4758]

You see, they named the cat “Homer” because Frey is going on an Odyssey. It’s a subtle reference that I don’t think the average person would understand.

[@K1ttyGam3r]

they named the cat “Homer” because the simpsin

[@biospark4758]

@@K1ttyGam3r they were big fans of the Sicksons

[@anticksss]

I think it was because they like the smipson

[@casualvillainy]

the simpons

[@haruthegremlin]

ohmer sipmon

[@AFPJ]

It makes me irrationally mad that the main character is supposed to be a New Yorker but speaks like a Californian

[@mendeleyev1790]

You mean rationally cause we know exactly why that is.

[@ulric8445]

She’d also be a lot more racist if she was a New Yorker which would be way better

[@emily.d7493]

I forgot she’s supposed to be a New Yorker because of that shit

[@parisbower6939]

Saints Row: Millennial Cringe Forspoken: Reddit Cringe Kamala Khan: Middle School Cringe

[@wanderingrandomer]

You may be on to something

[@theshart9246]

Pick your poison

[@NateS917]

Bro cooked with this one

[@Dalton_Boardman2000]

Middle School Cringe is unironically the best because it has the wider appeal.

[@AshCosgrove]

Life is Strange: Tumblr-ina cringe.

[@PapaLuge]

It's actually wild that Avengers ended up being the least annoying of all 3 of them, idk if anyone could've predicted that

[@boglurker2043]

Avengers was made for kids. The other 2 were made for a market that doesn’t even buy video games.

[@cerver6765]

@@boglurker2043 Nor play them. (Besides Mario)

[@JacobVonRoker]

​@@boglurker2043also developed by people who don't play video games

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Whats the 3rd game

[@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259]

Avengers actually had good characters and a good introduction to kamala (dystopian future).

[@alexr4834]

Think in a couple years time we will see a game with a main character saying "what the sigma?"

[@lazyliongames6660]

That is a thought more terrifying than any horror genre

[@NoFlu]

He then gets beaten up by the rest of the cast...

[@BigTeo]

Silent hill: skibidi memories

[@Flesh_Wizard]

​@@BigTeoThe Elder Sigmas 6: Fanumfell

[@BasileosHerodou]

​@@Flesh_WizardFanumout : Ohio

[@gathenhielm9977]

"WE DON'T HAVE WORDS FOR YOU YET! BUT WE'LL COME UP WITH THEM!"

[@chaing-kai-shek2862]

sounds like something Woolie would say.

[@corazonfeathers8116]

​@@chaing-kai-shek2862 It'd be a joke for the beginning of the androids being made in Detroit: Become Ze Bad Gaem

[@DaBandOFunnies]

​@@chaing-kai-shek2862 Super best friends Woolie?! YES!

[@PolumbiusTheThird]

@@DaBandOFunnies they were in fact not super best friends.

[@EEBE64]

Call her a sneakerhead.

[@Shark_Byte_]

Holds up spork. DOINK!!! Erm... holds up epic freaking bacon DOINK

[@Vaguer_Weevil]

Holds up line at Wendy's. DOINK!! Well erm THIS is embarrassing lem-ow!

[@stevensmith1031]

This is more forking random than a narwhal fighting a FREAKIN ninja! DOINK

[@Shark_Byte_]

@@Vaguer_Weevil holds up line to the bathroom DOINK!!! Shits my pants in the line for the bathroom DOINK!!! Erm he's right behind me isn't he?

[@GhGh-gq8oo]

GAZOOKS

[@aelix56]

Errrm you, sir, have won the internet

[@Romeo_of_Romelution]

It's times like these that made me appreciate silent protagonists

[@triplebog]

The funniest thing about this whole game is how unbelievably nice her apartment is. Like they try to make it seem bad because her mattress is on the floor. But like, she has a fully furnished apartment with a couch. Where did she get a couch? Like I get maybe she stole the tv, and maybe she trash picked the table. But like, the couch is nice, and almost impossible for one person to haul up into that apartment

[@masonclark531]

Idk what the game is. But it seems like she’s unemployed and pulling a 2K$+ apartment?

[@DerOrk]

She's a squatter. She doesn't rent/own the place, thats why she enters through the fire escape.

[@hooty8703]

the shit that gets me is they really want you to *like* these characters but they lack any sort of personality other then snarky jerk

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

You forgot to mention the bigger issue: they're usually awful people that disrespect everyone and bring others down to raise themselves up and never work to earn what they get throughout the story. Characters that are jerks and even full on assholes can still be enjoyable to watch if done right like if it's a comedy and it serves to point something out, for example. The problem is when the writers seem to think that's actually a good thing for the main character to do and actually try to make you like them.

[@wkkqewqaver7766]

​@@zombifiedpariah7392 that's because the characters are a vehicle for the author to implant themselves inside the story.

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

@@wkkqewqaver7766 Yup. Because creating something new and original requires TALENT and the ability to separate yourself from your work. Something woke people will NEVER have.

[@coltonwhite2518]

Tony snark writing and all it's consequences have been a disaster for modern character writing.

[@ma.2089]

@@zombifiedpariah7392 I wish ppl would stop using the word “woke” outside of the OG definition cuz the term means so many dumb things at this point that I can’t tell what you’re even trying to say with this comment.

[@stproducciones9140]

this type of writing (and aesthetics, and thematic, and content in general) is what happens when media execs think twitter is a faithful sample of the general public.

[@dar4061]

Well..to be Frank.. all people ever give out about is reddit and twitter...so are you all not doing the exact same thing? By obsessively referencing them?

[@stproducciones9140]

@@dar4061 yeah imagine acknowledging something bad

[@isiahalcindor6278]

​@@dar4061 horrible argument

[@vedji1857]

I’ve mostly seen criticisms of the game from Twitter about it being unrealistic tho. It seems less like they sourced *anything* as a reference for the general public, and moreso just assumed any younger-age character has a snarky MCU-style personality. Because “smug and quirky” is in most mainstream media which means that’s how it is.

[@JamesHeller12]

Yeah they should listen to KZbin commenters, the real bastion of intellectual discussion

[@nuclearpotato4073]

It's so weird that the fantasy world looks so boring and ugly. It's such an easy set up to contrast a beautiful fantasy world with a depressing, run-down New York City in the midst of the winter, but no - both NYC and the fantasy world are grey ruins.

[@alfiehicks1]

You don't get it, it's actually more *interesting* to have the whole game be a grey, boring, ugly, depressing piece of shit. It's so avant-garde. It's more realistic and immerisive. It really makes you *feel* like a forespoken.

[@No_Sleepee]

​@@alfiehicks1ok dunkey fan

[@Bloodycupcake54]

"writers of this game went on strike to get paid more"

[@m0istur]

For dialogue like that?

[@NoFlu]

I'd write better dialogues/stories than that while on the shitter. A second income would be pretty chill, imma apply...

[@lucascampbell8521]

Videogame writers famously get little to no creative control. Blame the studios and design by committee standard.

[@fawnieee]

​​@@lucascampbell8521 what? Gamers holding studios accountable? Impossible. Dont you know the gamer law is "the game we're claiming to boycott is going to be so well supported by us that it'll be the best selling game in its series!" Don't expect much from gamerbros lmao

[@theholygamer969]

Oh, that's so fucking funny.

[@bobbodaskank]

I like how before imprisoning her, they were like "her clothes are so weird, that's how we know she's not from around here" and the stupid jailbreak lady was like "anyway here's a bag for your head, but keep rocking the flannel shirt and jeans babe"

[@PhantoMace2012]

6:46 someone else made a similar comment on another video, but Lyle’s split-second “GEH” at predicting the not-so-subtle writing was said with so much rage and frustration, you could feel it.

[@kaj7135]

I pray for a future where every game shall be spoken for.

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

Shakespearean 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🔥🔥🔥

[@foodafen7406]

How beautiful! For it shall be spoken!

[@SpookyM0aiMan]

- John Forspoken

[@cdfactory]

Say that again?

[@Thomasm3000]

how they wrote 'Found You' perfectly backwards on the window in her apartment

[@Arjanator]

I hope Zach puts a Kamala Khan type character in Smiling Friends just so they can rag on her

[@jojobizadTRASH]

And her name is Pimspoken....

[@Perdix64]

@@jojobizadTRASHFrimspoken.

[@taags]

Could call the character Fingoria.

[@saturniidspectre]

She gets ripped apart like Robocop at the end.

[@vedji1857]

I visualise a scene at the very end of an episode where a critter that runs up, stabs pim, says “erm, THAT just happened” with rapid thumb-signal hand movements, while pim and Charlie are realistically panicking and trying to stop the bleeding.

[@taags]

The people who wrote this shit should never be allowed to write anything ever again.

[@connor48880]

they’re absolutely moving up in the industry and getting paid thousands to continue writing dialogue like this

[@bonerbreath6747]

​@@connor48880 Sweetbaby sleeper agents

[@gustavolourenco5709]

"Never cook again"

[@baronvonbeandip]

idk bout that They should at least be able to write a resignation letter and a suicide note.

[@ryana4939]

The most unrealistic thing about this game is someone in NYC getting charged with anything.

[@arbiter11171]

Charged, released, repeat

[@yankoelgueta1116]

I swear seeing the state of new york nowdays is worst than latin america

[@Terra_Incognita115]

I live in NYC and this guy's full of shit

[@xplatypus516]

Unless they’re white

[@Scufflegrit]

The size of her broke thief apartment seems unrealistic, too.

[@onionhat745]

If she felt bad about being a thief she would be so much less hateable.

[@ginogatash4030]

I mean, she's kinda supposed to be an asshole with some redeeming qualities before becoming a full fledged hero, not that it's executed particularly well but an asshole main character can still be likeable in its own twisted way, or just be normal likeable if redeemed properly.

[@mycontentcreation5264]

@@ginogatash4030this makes me think of how Peter when Stan was writing him with Steve Ditko.

[@onionhat745]

@ginogatash4030 to paraphrase Zach, [it'll turn out that she's been right all along and everyone else is wrong]. If the court scene would've been replaced by a jaded beat cop being cold to her instead of a kindly judge telling her how special she is, it would've gone a long way toward making her seem sympathetic.

[@ginogatash4030]

@@onionhat745 I dunno, it could have easily come off as overly victimising Frey, the issue is not that there's people who like Frey despite her being a delinquent, the issue is that it's written like poopoo caca, any idea you have on how to fix it could easily be turned worse than the actual game's story.

[@GabrielAKAFinn]

Uh that's racist???

[@indigopandora1829]

Episode where pim and charlie have to help the devs of forspoken smile

[@samflood5631]

I wonder if there will be an episode of Smiling Friends where Pim and Charlie are transported to the world of Forspoken in order to make the main character smile. But it turns out she takes joy out of being annoying, so they just let her be eaten by a dragon.

[@kwisowofer9872]

Instead of making her smile, they have to make everyone else in that world smile by getting rid of her

[@Jukestar]

@@kwisowofer9872 Lol

[@SpaceCase132]

I can imagine it as an inverse of the “Enchanted Forest,” where Pim has the time of his life with the magic system and Charlie is driven mad by the annoying cast.

[@tristandaries1129]

I like how if they never once mentioned Alice in Wonderland, and she saw a white bunny in the middle of New York and followed it, that would’ve been actually somewhat decent writing

[@Shark_Byte_]

I m an what could be more subtle then looking at a copy of Alice and wonderland and saying out loud "Hnnng sigh I wish *I* was ALICE in some kind of WONDERLAND bo less.... sigh"

[@user-rm1jp6hf5h]

Pet rabbit instead of a cat maybe

[@rcroller1972]

It's been done too much honestly.

[@hayleyblanch5895]

@@rcroller1972 i was just thinking that like im sick of direct *and* indirect references to alice in wonderland in media

[@jimjamauto]

@@hayleyblanch5895even with Far Cry 3 it felt forced.

[@zombieranger3410]

These are the videogame equivalents of forgotten late 70’s B movies, plots that make less than no sense, the worst dialogue possible, jokes that do not land, and hilariously bad effects. Everything going wrong in the perfect way.

[@NoFlu]

The only problem is, those shitty B-movies have the decency to be only like 1,5h long. These games drag on for way too long (which I wouldn't complain about if the games were good lol)

[@yl5935]

@@NoFluAlso these games cost $70

[@that1guy375]

Half of those shitty b movies had some charm despite the low quality. Unlike this game lol.

[@ginogatash4030]

​@@that1guy375 this game also has charm if you like mind boggling cringe dialogue, same shit with YIIK. We hate this shit now and for good reason, but give it a decade or two and people will lowkey get nostalgia for this kind of utter feces.

[@ryngobrody1627]

B-movies had better dialogue by just being simple

[@thekillers1stfan]

"Please rip her apart like robocop" lmaoooo that scene gave me nightmares as a kid 🤣

[@thekillers1stfan]

12:20 Luke kind of does do that at the beginning of ep4 lmao... Star Wars was seen as cringe when it came out.

[@Proserpira]

Alice in Wonderland is a thicker book than that so i assume she's reading a simplified version, like for people learning english as a second language

[@alani.8784]

@Proserpira And THAT'S an insult to the ESL edition of the book.

[@Locust13]

The first Alice In Wonderland is very short, really just a few pages. the second book, Alice Through The Looking Glass is much longer and the one that most people think of when they think of the more famous lines.

[@cylusonsteam]

Or the mentally impaired, as the main character seems to be

[@SirSaladAss]

​@@Locust13 Alice in Wonderland is almost a 100 pages long, way more than "a few".

[@colorblockpoprocks6973]

@@Locust13 when i was in middle school, i had gotten a combo book of the two that was so damn thick. i was like "man i cant believe how long its gonna take me to read this disney movie" and imagine my fear when i was done with the first book after 1/5 of the mass was through and i had this insanely long sequel that purposefully shoved logic to the side to still read. it was a slog, as entertaining as it was at the time lol

[@RayTheomo]

32:18 that Shut Up was visceral

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

The angry goblin noises before and after took me out

[@magik4353]

cartoons

[@oscarstainton]

Like Norman Osborn having a psychotic breakdown.

[@Door227]

He was unleashing decades worth of pain and anguish and fury in that moment

[@TrojanGamer10]

OH!!!

[@Slimurgical]

The worst part about Forspoken's writing is that the bracer can scan her mind to know what her name is and they can communicate telepathically, but it can't scan her mind to know what her constant references mean. Those two processes are the same thing, it's so bad it's ridiculous. I honestly think the fact that nobody talks about that, and it's such an insanely bad thing, it says a lot.

[@Fernybun]

"I get it, I just don't find it funny"

[@SammEater]

Gotta love how the first black friend that Frey does in the fantasy world is also someone that steals things, I wonder what the white writers that worked on this game meant by that?

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

They scream and cry and reeeee for more people of color in games and movies and then have them stealing and being obnoxious and unbearable. 😂 Poetic

[@TheTdw2000]

Despite...

[@zombifiedpariah7392]

Love how these people scream and cry for more people of color and then have them all steal and cheat and be generally awful people. 😂🤣

[@marioman571]

Game bad. Why care?

[@SammEater]

@@marioman571 It's like a death by 1000 paper cuts, from game design, to graphics to story, I like to know what happened for a project to fail this bad. Like an authopsy.

[@chaos200m]

is thata mother hecking dragon ?!

[@TomJakobW]

dragon and Giggan these nuts, apparently.

[@OkayContent]

Always so satisfying when the sequel tops the original: Shrek 1 and Shrek 2, Fellowship of the Ring and Two Towers, Alien and Aliens, Saints Row (2022) and Forespoken. Easily one of my favorite trilogies

[@chango_ganz]

Foreskin

[@OkayContent]

@@chango_ganz thank you

[@chango_ganz]

@@OkayContent no, thank you.

[@OkayContent]

@@chango_ganz any time bro *tips foreskin*

[@chickensandwich9977]

17:18 This almost made me burst out in laughter It was so unexpected

[@ThaLoser]

I choked on my drink

[@ryandeluxe]

Perfect timing lmfao its like lyle’s mini stroke

[@SmellerTheFirst]

Ad jump scare

[@EMD_HOKIO]

There has to be a name for when you happen to see comment at the exact time it happens

[@chickensandwich9977]

@@EMD_HOKIO that happens to me all the time dude

[@dallas4855]

Zach sounds a little congested in the beginning. I wish I could shrink to half an inch tall and crawl up his left nostril and help relieve his sinuses.

[@vedji1857]

His sinuses aren’t the problem, it’s a deviated septum. Unless your tiny arms can realign nose musculature, you can’t help much.

[@dcl32]

@@vedji1857no it’s clogged sinuses

[@SirSaladAss]

What a normal thing to say.

[@baronvonbeandip]

24:17 The best part

[@cladladd]

My favorite part was the 1 second ad that didn’t get cut out.

[@GrimDim]

The most unrealistic dialogue about this game is that she wanted to go back to new york lmao.

[@stinkymart3173]

The dialogue was written by Kyle's Jewish cousin.

[@cshimp10]

Zach screaming 'WE KNOW THE F@#$ING PLOOOOOT!" was me the ENTIRE playthrough of Forspoken.

[@ramaluminus]

It's absolutely hilarious how frustrated Zach is with this game writing.

[@goldensands2104]

32:13 that collective "no!" was glorious

[@chimpwimp9407]

22:32 I don't think the gang realizes how funny this is. This man literally thinks Frey is from "Hell's Kitchen." That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[@mycontentcreation5264]

Plus why would she say that? You’re in a “medieval” fantasy with magic and dragons, so hell is very possible there. And you say you’re from the evil realm full of demons and not the actual city.

[@PorridgeJohnny]

2:01 Zach’s reaction sums up the entire script of this game

[@R34PR_]

I am convinced that not even rule 34 wants to touch forespoken

[@nods5137]

Like, for what? There is no appealing, cute or just interesting characters. Even no furry bite! Like, really?

[@R34PR_]

@@nods5137 obligation to the rule itself.

[@knucks5793]

@@nods5137 there is a freaking dragon in the game.

[@blackula911]

@@knucks5793 erm, she can also motherfreaking move things with her freaking mind

[@Rangernewb5550]

​@@nods5137 Spite

[@Hank..]

So the gangbangers torched Frey's place, right? Why not just have her wake up the next day, head to a train station or wherever with her money, and show her getting beaten and robbed by the gangbangers instead? Because that's a lot more believable AND would be more sympathetic than having the main character be too stupid to pick up her own money in a burning building

[@vsptylore3639]

Zach usually loves delighting in how much the others hate something, it really takes some dogshit writing for him to also hate the writing along with them

[@gogogoooooooooo]

The craziest thing is they actually had incredible writers for Forspoken. They brought in someone who wrote Book of Eli and Rogue One and also the main writer for the Jak & Daxter and Uncharted series. They must have been butting heads or something because how did we get something like this?

[@hurricanejaney]

29:25 doesn’t it say on one of the loading screens that Frey is 5’11”? THAT’S A BIG ASS APPLE

[@austinsavage5962]

“These writers should strike for better pay” is what i thought during the entire writers strike

[@vedji1857]

Nah, I support the strike, but I acknowledge some objectively bad writers, like the forspoken team, joining in was a bit counterintuitive. Strength in numbers and all that, yeah, but a bad writer demanding higher pay as if they’re the same as an actual overworked and underpaid writer only breaks the entire point of the strike. It’s not just “we want more money”. It’s “we need to be treated fairly”.

[@LANDEN_BERGER]

The writers striking don't know how to write beyond make every good character non White

[@IDonotHaveAGoodName]

​@@vedji1857it's so bad too because if a story has god tier or shitty writing they get the same recognition.

[@ruggiebuggie3195]

This is what happens when you hire writers that never once had a real life encounter with normal functioning humans.

[@elcidleon6500]

Unfortunately, that's what most of the world is currently.

[@damefruhauf]

I'm crying laughing at zachs reaction to that massive apple at the end lmfao it's like bigger than a coconut

[@superscaryguy01]

WE KNOW THE FUCKING PLOOOOOOT

[@jazzburrell8870]

Angriest I've ever heard him it was truely beatiful

[@fleedledeedle666]

"Uh, yeah, that just totally happened." The game.

[@comixproviderftw_02]

These games and their dialogue is the epitome of “how do you do, fellow kids?”

[@MforMovesets]

NPCs asking you to do something which you already did is such a rookie mistake.

[@Pleasestoptalkingthanks]

Thats the problem with open world games. You have to manually code in every instance where you could possibly fulfill a quest beforehand - I’m personally a fan of the characters either giving a voiceline noting that you did it (if its unimportant enough), or just having a dialogue option thats like “Oh yeah you mean this thing?” (Show proof of quest).

[@MforMovesets]

​@@Pleasestoptalkingthanks Thats not a problem with good open world games. The ones I know skip the quest dialogue right to the "you did it" dialogue but sums up in a sentence or two what the significance of your action was. Otherwise, just force players to not be able to solve a quest before getting it.

[@Liberater4589]

The voice acting itself is generally actually really good it’s just so incredible how bad writing and direction can completely ruin that

[@cupofjoe7900]

This is like if vice journalists tried to make a video game

[@Comkill117]

Frey: “It’s not like I can change who I am.” JC Denton: “Why don’t you try getting a job?”

[@Renigen]

Okay Where?

[@thekindhakerro82]

Majestic 12

[@Renigen]

@@thekindhakerro82 Maybe you should join Majestic 12... In a body bag!

[@mycontentcreation5264]

“It’s right behind me isn’t it?” “You might want to check this out”

[@Normal-Lad]

I love how whenever theres bad unnecessary dialogue kamala is brought up

[@KaponoMonster]

If Ding Dong was there, he would’ve predicted *EVERY* line in this game, he would scream and get a heart attack!

[@cheesestakeclown]

13:18 the way Zach reacts here is such a mood

[@Spoomis]

I love how even the main character doesn't look like she wants to be there; nice attention to detail.

[@therealbingobango]

The coneheads is written better than these 3 games

[@theonlyenicfanever5346]

Come on… Let’s leave Coneheads out of this…

[@unluckyzen32]

17:18 why did this part scare me, that was the only piece of emotion from watching this video, other than rage.

[@Adjudicus]

Same what the hell was that, bro recorded his screen and left an ad instead of downloading the video

[@dilbertbraphog2886]

17:16 “And she was like!!!” “How are you”😃

[@BigTeo]

The saddest thing is that I see the skeleton of a good game in forspoken. With different directions in almost everything except maybe the art this could be a good game

[@pandapandapanda1337]

Genuinely! I thought it looked cool in its initial reveal trailer

[@AluminumFusion22]

It's weird that Forspoken, Eight Crazy Nights and YIIK: A Postmodern RPG all have the same general theme of a dickhead protagonist gradually becoming a better person throughout the course of the story by either finding out where the anger is coming from and making efforts to work through it, or learning to not take things for granted. Eight Crazy Nights and YIIK did the whole "asshole to good guy" arc better; YIIK did it a bit wrong because by the time Alex improves as a person, the player is exasperated by his previous behavior, but he at least had SOME kind of redemption arc.

[@johnjohnson9073]

I'd say the art also needs a tweak, some designs are interesting but for the most part stuff looks washed out and bland

[@AlexanderNash]

"If you literally changed everything about it, it would be different!" Imagine being such a braindead moron that you think this is some sort of insight

[@Shade-to7hf]

I love the screen recorded ad that made it into the video halfway in

[@kaxmo69]

listening to the dialogue without oneys commentary is like letting gamma radiation seep into your heart willingly

[@Goozero1]

Me on the toilet, pushing out a mean turd while closing my eyes: 15:49

[@KingMB_XJ_Official]

This is written like a bad example of how to use narrative elements. Every use of them is shallow and extremely obvious.

[@ProfessorHeavy1]

11:30 Zach's delivery of that line alone was absolutely astonishing.

[@SpellboundSpectre]

Hes actually the best voice actor ive ever seen

[@baronvonbeandip]

​@@SpellboundSpectreBro, he voices DJ Spit in Smiling Friends. Crazy, I know

[@leahl5007]

This game is the Dark Souls of enjoying things.

[@RiseOfTheKumquat67]

2:01 - 2:09 would fit perfectly into a Smiling Friends scene

[@canaldecasta]

This quality of writing is not only celebrated but encouraged.

[@deviantknight7009]

Their Saint Row character is just the girl from Dustborn lol

[@wellingtonbruh3756]

"did I just do that" line and the "they fly now?" Haunt my friend group as the two worse lines in all of writing.

[@TeamNebula6]

The Ad at 17:21 just made that scene so surreal wtf lol

[@js-cm9si]

17:16

[@xSmuggen]

I cant wait to be anywhere but here Cries Theft Anywhere but there Cries Theft

[@Crazy56U]

6:48 Fellas, you ever get so mad, you turn into a SoundCloud rapper?

[@DualStupidity]

I'm quite proud that, to this day, all of the images in my head of Eight Crazy Nights are strictly from the commercials that aired during its release

[@robinsintherain3419]

There are times for writers strikes... There are also times to strike writers

[@Bobba_raekus]

I hate those disgusting sneakerheads.

[@Joshua-fz5zx]

Im reporting this to the ADL. You're going to get it! Just you wait! 🧐

[@srbrant5391]

Another graduate from the Tommy Wisseau school of acting.

[@toombes-pl9of]

This show makes me so afraid to write because I REALLY dont want to have something end up like this

[@starkstruckus]

I think the most important part of becoming a writer, or any creator, is acknowledging that sometimes the stuff you make isn't gonna turn out right. Even if you've been doing it for awhile. A good writer listens to their editors and beta readers feedback, and doesn't just insist their stuff is perfect. And not everyone is going to like what you make, regardless. But to make something as bad as this game takes basically a whole team of people continuously screwing up, so you're probably safe from that.

[@Ratiosu539]

if you're not prepared to fail you're not prepared to make anything at all just go for it, who cares if it sucks

[@alfiehicks1]

Passion and sincerity are what make things good. Even if the quality isn't high, you can always tell when someone genuinely cared a lot about what they were making. The intent shines through a piece that comes from a passionate mind. Things suck when you can tell that the people behind it were chasing trends, being intentionally derivative and unnaturally contorting themselves - engineering their work to be popular. Acrid and artificial things like Forspoken are only made when the minds behind it aren't being true to themselves.

[@stinkymart3173]

I've just been getting into writing myself and something I've learned is writing multiple drafts/ revisions of the *entire* story is the norm, which seems daunting to a first-timer, but not doing it is a sure-fire way to end up with cringe dialogue, broken plot points that go nowhere etc.