Power Phrases that OUTSMART toxic colleagues & END Workplace Negativity

[@TheWizardOfWords]

If you liked this video and want to support this channel, please consider pressing the "join" button--right here www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords

[@jimmydeanbenton1647]

This is amazing!! I chuckled at the thought of how direct the responses are and impact it has! I can only imagine how the person would react when it is said to them 😂 Im not even finished watching the video and I’m speechless! Love your videos!!!

[@lilaclilly198]

Hi Dan🤗 Only yesterday I was bomborded with toxic unwanted feed back. I find this colleague overwhelming! You are absolutely right I have yet to develop skills to deal with it. This video is absolutely brilliant! Thankyou Dan.🙏🏼

[@iamsunnysideup7115]

Hahahahahaha!!! You are so correct in that these can be addicting! I just found you, but I used to have a supervisor who was superbly inept and lazy as the day is long! Which wouldn't have mattered to me if that hadn't meant that her ineptitude caused for work to pile up on MY desk! Of course, I had to call her out on it, and I did! DAILY. At one point she tried to stand up to me and told me that I was being "insubordinate" which was a new word in her vocabulary because it sounded just as clumsy as she delivered it. The room was full of my coworkers and they just stopped typing, talking and even walking! You could cut the tension in the room with a knife! Everyone's eyes were on me and after a few seconds I blurted out laughing: OMG, DID YOU JUST ATTEND A MANAGERS WEBINAR??? IS THAT WHERE YOU LEARNED THAT NEW WORD??? LOL!!! NO, BUT SERIOUSLY, IF I AM BEING INSUBORDINATE (I made the air quote sign too) THEN LET'S GO TO THE HR OFFICE SO YOU CAN TELL THEM ABOUT ME, AND I WILL ALSO TELL THEM ABOUT HOW LAZY AND INCOMPETENT YOU ARE, AND I MIGHT JUST ADD THE FACT THAT YOU KEEP GIVING YOURSELF OVERTIME WHEN THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WORKING THAT SHIFT. She gave me a dirty look, went into her office and slammed the door, lol. I still talked to her from the outside and said: COME ON, I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO PUNISH ME? NO??? OKAY! LOL!!! Things like that went on for eight long years! Until one day she made a mistake and the firm caught her stealing and that was the end of her. Good riddance! I liked, subscribed and shared your video, that's how much I liked it! 🤩🤩🤩

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you for liking, subscribing and sharing! Stay tuned for more and when you're ready for a deep dive, go to danoconnortraining.com :)

[@SarahRejsa-oi6bq]

Thank you Dan! You are so awesome. I really look up to you and admire you! I have grown so much professionaly thanks to your videos and Energy Vampire Slaying book. I use your verbal tactics at work all the time. Now I am loved and respected at work. People are saying good things about me at work. They are treating me with value and respect. It's all because of you. As a result my self esteem and self confidence has grown. I am empowered and not afraid anymore. The sky is the limit for me now, I am a new creation. The respect I am getting at work is amazing. I don't know how I can ever thank you enough. Please continue your KZbin videos forever! ♥️

[@CandyCarbonnier]

oh dang- after every one of these, i had to say OH SNAP out loud- great strategies to respond to unprofessional and critical bozos at work!

[@st3218]

@2:16 I did this at work the other day. Asked him a question that warranted a quick Y or N response, instead he tells me that's not important right now and starts raising his voice to belittle me further and lecture me about something I was already aware of, but out of my control. I said, "I asked a simple yes or no question, I didn't ask to be berated or given attitude" to which he enters my office and questions "what attitude" while raising his voice louder and asking me what my problem was. I stood my ground and he gave up. A day later he yells at me about the question and why I didn't take care of that. 🤦‍♀️

[@yang7436]

That's how confident and powerful every empathy people who suffered from the narcissists should be.🎸 Claim your power that is always within you.💥

[@cl-ev2sg]

I have been following Dan for close to two years. I do believe in deflecting, defending and shutting people down in their tracks. I have been practicing for many scenarios, they work! I am especially grateful I didn’t let someone verbally attack and humiliate me almost a year ago. It was an unexpected attack but thanks to my practice, my brain was ready! Bottom line, I am always a professional. If someone else isn’t and is out of line, I let them know.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks cl. Happy to help.

[@Stlouisbartending]

Dan, I used your sheet (it was a simple note page which encouraged me to sit down and write! Now certain phrases are naturally “my words” hsounding… thanks bc we all tend to project certain qualities onto others, it’s easy to project one’s positive qualities onto others who DO NOT actually have them. “They are not going to reflect (I do), they are not going to attempt to hear what you’re saying just bc you asked them w (I would), yes, they can actually gossip incessantly about someone and be totally fake to their face without even batting an eye. I’m not able to do that but they easily can- STOP ASSUMING OTHERS DESIRE TO BE OR DO GOOD JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR PEER or same age.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Practice, practice, practice--and words will come naturally.

[@dalostgurl8615]

I'm addicted to your videos. Hopefully, one day I will buy the kit. Despite being very expressive in our currency.❤Thank you so much!

[@kmartin2988]

You are hilarious - I have struggled my whole life in a household of narcissists. They stress me and I am afraid I couldn't remember your great lines - and they ARE great. I love the practical application to this kind of problem resolution. subscribing.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks for the sub, and trust me on this--you can remember these lines. But you'll have to practice :)

[@lauraon]

Dan, you’re such a gift 👍❤️

[@tabithabasye2440]

I really struggle to hear what is being said with the voice overs & music. It distracts my brain from retaining the message. I am super interested in listening to all these videos, pod casts, etc. but I have a limited bandwidth for the extra noise…. This will take me a while to get through theses. I have ADHD & it’s likely if I don’t listen to everything within a few days I will forget about it. So far the information I have been able to hear has been LIFE CHANGING! Watching the older videos now so I hope the background noise improves. 💜

[@tabithabasye2440]

Oh, this is a new video… I was searching old videos… well… I can use subtitles! This is information I feel I need for survival. I don’t want to tune out, get overwhelmed or tune out!!!

[@tabithabasye2440]

😢man! On subtitles there are flashing words & color changes! This is not neurodivergent friendly.

[@dyanstarr5553]

Where were you all those years ago when I needed you way back when? My mother was a narcissist, and subsequently All of my personal relationships were with narcissists, too! I'm taking your videos and going back in time. I love your comebacks! Seriously, add some mic drops in there!😀

[@senseoffulfillment]

Great comment! This behavior certainly does not just happen in the work place. Unfortunately, I have had to deal with this type of behavior from family members as well. It seems almost harder to escape a family situation, then a work environment. But I am sure these same strategies apply. So glad I find this channel! Mr. wizard of words, would you do a video covering specific family situations, like holidays and family get togethers?

[@dyanstarr5553]

I totally agree with you, Sense! I believe there is an epidemic of this behavior in families. This should be Required learning starting in utero, or at least to get a high school diploma

[@LValley-kz3yc]

Thank you Dan, I fied one over the bow of a bully at lunch. You could see her puffing up to attack me. I used her very words back at her. Another person jumped in and backed me up. Wow, you could see her shrink and then, oh my, she got a text and had to leave! Amazing.

[@alabaster2163]

The first one's free... ❤❤❤❤

[@JennWatson]

I'm first - I'm first!

[@tiffanyb.7596]

✨🙌✨ Thank you.

[@a.d.b535]

I love the ascerbic honesty in your examples.

[@carriegaylor8859]

Hahaha, Sir, you have a way with words. I love listening to you

[@kellymccance1342]

I'm very happy that I found your channel! 🙏👍❤️🥛🍯

[@MarthaHartleib]

I just love!!!!! You are amazing. I wish I had seen your videos before. I quit my job because of my supervisor who was constantly criticizing me. She even criticized my voice.. she said it was scary in front of other people.Then she said it was a joke.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Hiding behind humor--classic :)

[@JericaCook]

Dan--you are AMAZING! Thank you! Your channel is FULL of helpful, life altering information. Very grateful!

[@wendy33040]

Yes, your right about the emotional part of the brain is where we live, practicing on who though? Because we don’t want to do it to poor Joe that’s one of the best co workers we are around. Everyone else in the office is really nice and don’t deserve that type of clap back.. I can’t do it to my husband he will divorce me.. 😂😂😂.. maybe we should get a fb group together to practice on people we don’t know??😮 love your channel.. I just came across it and adore you..

[@kierstenh9225]

First ones free ha! I love you!!!!!! Xfrom the Alps.

[@BczimHappy]

Finally you posted a video !

[@jorgebaeza7863]

Very good Dan!😎

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you so much Mr Baeza!

[@maryhenderson4929]

Oh my word. .yet again Dan is the man. Best video yet

[@michele0324]

Oh my gosh I've missed you. It seems you haven't been posting as much. ❤

[@zion367]

"The first one is free" 😂😂😂 And then the jungle music😅😂❤

[@dayc801]

The first ones free, made me giggle. And then I watched it again.

[@amor8973]

Thank you for sharing and your time. 🧡

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks for watching!

[@carolinechaney901]

😂❤❤❤❤Omgosh, loooooooove this

[@dottyp137]

🤣🤣 brilliant responses perfect for my situation 😂

[@thenewyorkcitizen]

Thanks!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks, Thenewyorkcitizen-- :) :)

[@Delgado-ot4lq]

The first one is FREE! 🤣Pure gold as always, Dan 💜

[@j.t.1215]

LOVE YOU.

[@melissaok9713]

Woo! Thats what Im talkin about! 😎😎

[@evangeliakaratza-styliara4413]

I have to watch this every day …. And take a course soon ….

[@ebeisaac7700]

Isn't the latter part a little too direct and confrontational?

[@eia2704]

Màn i wish I found your content years ago

[@Unknown-vh6uo]

Can u do it but not only about a work environment?

[@thenewyorkcitizen]

Recently, my new employer of a month has screwed up my direct deposit. Last pay period they said this past pay period would be fine. Yesterday, I had off and had to stop my day off in search of a live check. I spend about two hours resolving this matter on my DAY OFF. I would like them to compensate me for my time. How can I best word this without appearing hostile or upset. Your expertise would be essential.

[@chiyanneha]

What if English is second language for the toxic person you are dealing with? How to respond to impatient boss.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Same words, perhaps spoken more slowly.

[@sage9836]

"I don't wanna be that baby."😆😆😆

[@JesusSaves77799]

Hi Dan! I just watched this video and I really loved it! I watched another one right before this one from a year ago called, “How to Deal with Bossy Coworkers who think They’re your Boss” and I got a little confused because in that video you seemed to say to not say too much otherwise you won’t look like a team player? You also said to only speak loving words to people, when in this video you are clearly letting someone know in an forthright and assertive manner that what they are doing is inappropriate and you actually said that we can call them out on the aspect of their character that is hurtful. I agree that it’s good to be open to constructive tips, but sometimes I think we have to let someone know if they are being too controlling and completely smothering. Do you thing you can explain the different tactics you give in these 2 videos a little more? In one you almost seem to say to say nothing but smile and say thank you, and in the other one you say that we can kind of let them have it? Is one response ego-driven whereas the other isn’t, because you said our ego isn’t our friend? I am a super hard worker at work, and my boss and the clients have told me how much they love my work. But there is a small group of really toxic women whom I will not work on the same shift alone, because they are seriously unbelievably toxic. All they do is look for problems and confront and pick at and bully people. My boss knows that I am looking for other work soon, and won’t put me on the same shift with a couple of them. I mean they are seriously awful. Last Friday I had to defend myself in front of one of them who started saying how she would never date a man from a certain ethnic group (whom she knows I am dating a person from) because they “treat their women like crap and never buy them anything” and I spoke up and I said, “I know why you are saying this and I would appreciate if you stop because it’s inappropriate and racist”. She exploded on me. I told my boss but she didn’t really do much, but I’m happy I spoke up for myself. Is that a circumstance where it’s ok to speak up? Or if she tells me to do work that was not what I was taught was my job duty? I think at that point I say what you suggested how that wasn’t what I was told when I was trained was a part of my job description? Thanks!

[@belindarosenheim2322]

The first one's free🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nikkid9915]

😂I don't wanna be that baby!👍

[@indigosungirl]

“it’s great you were checking out my a** but what did you think about my presentation?”. that is exactly what i would say. no sh!$.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Whatever works, Indigo :)

[@indigosungirl]

@@TheWizardOfWords been around the block, anyone dare comment on my appearance as feedback will get candor and shut down very fast. Usually i would never have to uae such tactics !

[@AngelKari]

In the case that maybe your work performance has slipped recently or even your professional behavior however unintentionally you have let your rough path shine through at work. Resulting in a change of how your treated or perceived. How should you address this ? What type of behavior and communication should you use moving forward in order to put yourself back in the good AND STABLE standing you have always been otherwise at work?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I need a little more information before I can address this, Angel.

[@AngelKari]

@@TheWizardOfWords oh Happy Thanksgiving!!! I certainly didn't expect you to address this on a holiday during your personal time. That considered , thank you so much for your response! So in the scenario I was referring to let's say you have allowed stress, outside circumstances, your coworkers or whatever the case may be affect you work. You have went from an excellent employee to the bottom rung over the last few weeks. You have recognized you behavior and have returned to your previous work. Yet now you find yourself in a poor position with your leaders. You have corrected your performance yet you haven't mended relations. They can see the return in your preformance yet still there is a feeling of mistrust in you and your work. Now you are unsure how to proceed without making excuses or being inappropriate. I realize it How would you proceed in hopes of the revival of your prior work relationship?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Angel, if I were in that position, I would simply do my job as best I could, knowing that in time my efforts will be recognized, and whatever I did in the past is past. I wouldn't attempt to mend fences; I would attempt to work hard and I'd be patient--very patient.

[@syngen462]

Please can you be that little angel and devil on my shoulder?

[@62Movement]

Ya know. Ya gotta give it to Dan… he really went in hard on HOW to talk to Donald Trump (anyone similar).

[@jasminebambury5841]

Haha what a legend♡

[@denisemcnamara1886]

Come to work with me 😂

[@merrymerry7390]

😂♥️

[@sk13ppy]

I'm finding this video a little too verbose and the music isn't giving me any positive vibes either. I'm not sure I want to adopt your mannerisms either. I find it easier to avoid people than try to resolve things with them and risk being flame grilled by them.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I have to smile that you'd use verbose to describe wordy, when I'd use wordy to describe verbose :)

[@sebrinadickerson3341]

too many words.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

How many are too many? Can you give me a range, please?

[@sebrinadickerson3341]

@@TheWizardOfWords I couldn't follow the expanded, verbal monologue through to 'tying the bow.' If I can't follow it, I definitely can't deliver it. It was too layered and circuitous, especially for a situation where it is difficult to process and speak, and where others are not inclined to listen, anyway. Many maybe don't have the luxury of that platform, where anyone is going to humor an expanded firm response. Are there alternatives wtih a firm sentence or two, or, even a few words?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Check out the shorts versions of my videos--they're everywhere. If they're too wordy, well gag me with a spoon :)

[@sebrinadickerson3341]

@@TheWizardOfWords Thanks. I'll do that.

[@pattipinneri516]

I love you🫶🏼💕 I wish I had the silver tongue that you have… 🙌🏼😂

[@queenahill3437]

🫶🏿♥️ I'm buying the book!