OP's Deadbeat Brother, Who Is Also The Golden Child, Wants To Propose At OP's Wedding. OP Doesn't...

[@morganleanderblake678]

Feels like the parents initially went with it because proposing was a way of getting him out of their house permanently. Once they got him out a different way, problem over.

[@SecretVoices25]

Now I think about it that It makes so much sense

[@Jasonfallen71]

Very good insight. Thx

[@RandomTrinidadian]

And oldy, but goodie. Was almost blinded by OP shiny spine

[@jacearmor5274]

The only reason someone would propose at a person's wedding is for attention.

[@toriladybird511]

Plus he wanted to cling to hus Gf as she was growing dissolutioned with him by what he told OP

[@RandomPersonOf2005]

Also I have feeling the gf is gonna reject him and he want to pressure her to say yes by doing it in a happy occasion

[@IzzyPR2010]

Also to intimidate the woman being proposed to, put her on the spot so she will be forced to accept or else be embarrassed. Public proposals are not intended to be romantic, that's rom con bs, they are intended to be used as a form of intimidation. This case here is a good example of this, the brother was having problems with his GF, she was getting ready to dump his loser behind and he figured if he proposed to her in public that she would be forced to accept. A woman put in that kind of situation should not be concerned about turning down the proposal and embarrassing the guy making the proposal, after all he doesn't care if he's embarrassing her by doing it in the first place.

[@goldenfangryushenron]

Wow, I never knew that was how public proposals worked in more realistic settings. Thank you for sharing this; if I ever decide to get married this is one way I will NOT propose.

[@zemoth941]

OP has that enchanted netherite spine 😗

[@morganleanderblake678]

For real. I was super impressed from moment one. Someone has been doing the therapy.

[@nick-brothwood]

More like Voidite.

[@boneymeroney2674]

One of my favorites. Wedding event proposals are by PERMISSION ONLY.

[@eowyneadig7879]

There was another story where parents wanted OP’s sister’s bf to propose at her wedding and got nasty when she tried to refuse, so OP got married in secret a week before the big expensive wedding and wasted the parents’ money.

[@drifter139]

it's right up there with announcing a pregnancy without asking permission

[@IzzyPR2010]

@@eowyneadig7879 If I remember that story, they only paid for the wedding because of the proposal and the wedding was secondary in their eyes. They wanted to celebrate the proposal not the wedding, of course since the couple already got married, people had no reason to go to the event.

[@rubymeaddle]

Lucky for OP, the IRS is pretty chill about shady tax preparers if you come forward to them and correct the issue.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

They dont care as long as they get their money

[@RepellentJeff]

It sounds like grandma is the root of all the problems here. Like, the parents and brother are to blame too, but granny is clearly at the center of all the BS.

[@ravenblackheart555]

Only difference is that the parents actually saw their wrongs and actually made steps to right them.

[@hex9061]

This is basically "Do it for Dan" but on steroids and a worse brother

[@plaguepug2091]

Nah I’d argue do it for Dan was worse. Proposing at a wedding is self-centered yea, but in the Dan scenario, the parents were literally trying to take the man’s entire life’s work from him in the form of the house. It seems like the parents in this story were a lot more relaxed and a lot less complicit and really just wanted the older brother out of the house.

[@drifter139]

basically AH brother can't handle he's not the center of attention and cries like a child. good on the parents for recognizing they messed up and dealt with it. hope it stays like that

[@wickedashley]

DO NOT PROPOSE AT OTHER PEOPLES WEDDINGS WTH

[@WTC-1990]

I hate that "i don't understand" line. It's been used on me and I lost it

[@lindsay1989]

Why the F was OP visiting grandma after everything she did?

[@HeoBaby24]

because he can?

[@jcly96]

Hopefully because he loves his grandma more than he hates his brother? Did you not hear the part where OP said grandma is their only living grandparent left?

[@rubymeaddle]

He had said he stopped going after his grandpa died, sounds like he only saw her at family events

[@zelbayanym]

​@@jcly96rewatch 3:00

[@drifter139]

likely because of grandma being older and at least trying to prove he is the better grandson. I only have 1 grandparent left but thankfully she never had any favorites out of all 38 of us grandchildren

[@aleksandarvil5718]

Story 1: OP = NTA

[@theodorebarton4256]

30:14 EMT here. To be fair, care homes are terrible places. They’re glorified hospitals and way more depressing. Also, they have different standards. One of the worst that I’ve been to (a care home and rehab facility) said that residents were washed 2x a week.

[@hex9061]

This sounds like "Do it for Dan" but with a moderately better outcome

[@Jasonfallen71]

I don’t know why OP kept in touch with his “family” when he had been so badly abused, maligned and scapegoated for so freaking long. I’LL never understand THAT (to use crazy grandma’s line). I suppose the “parents” are finally trying to be less horrible people but that *tiny* bit of growth came at the cost of decades of OP’s misery. For better or worse there’s a lesson here for young people who are in similar situations. The chances the lopsided, abuse-filled treatment of the non-golden child will change are slim and it’s best to fully protect yourself by going FULL no contact and stick by it for at least 2 decades. Unless that requires seeing them in court in which case do it! But make sure no one follows you to find where you live. This story is very instructive even though everyone in the story is miserable except for the gf who managed to get away (smart lady!)

[@aking3624]

He can't afford to propose let alone a wedding...

[@Genburthing]

With more reason when the reason is that “you believe your partner may left you” Its like, WTF!?

[@jessicathompson236]

First NTA. They are really ungrateful and entitled

[@MsRee713]

32:22 I really don’t want to have a funeral that is lackluster. I hope there’s going to be lots of people who have ever known me having a huge party and celebrating because when I pass, I am going to be so busy busy without any pain to stop me and I won’t be in this stupid wheelchair either, and I won’t have to live like a fragile old woman, even though I’m really young. So I want some joy and laughter.

[@leDespicable]

In a way, I kind of feel bad for the grandma. She clearly had several untreated mental issues going on, if only she had been willing to seek therapy she might not have ended up with such a shitty ending

[@mickjackson6596]

Wow.. this was on reddit like 6 years ago. I hope they do all the updates.

[@Ohsnhapitsdenus]

Do it for Dan!

[@mechtim]

sounds like OP was paying for the brothers future house at the start, we know the parents would have gave the brother the house in their wills, now it's up in the air if they still will.

[@artistictalent]

I forgot the situation that led up to it, but I remember once telling someone who said that "they didn't understand why something something", I said , you do not have to understand. Just respect it

[@brianajones9778]

Or maybe POS brother could I don’t know propose on another day or make NTA

[@josephahrens862]

I’ll be honest I’m not opposed to wedding proposals because sometimes one person getting married is all someone needs to gather up the courage to drop the question the only thing I’d say is make sure the bride and groom approve of this obviously

[@sahxb.]

But that applies pressure on one getting proposed to which may lead to them saying yes even if they are not fully sure. I mean at times both couple and marriage couple agree considering there is not scheme under guise of proposal its all good

[@funtimerhikes2330]

That’s basically why it all depends on the engaged couple, it all comes down to communication anyone with a brain cell knows that if one partner aren’t sure of their relationship then hold the proposals

[@IzzyPR2010]

@@funtimerhikes2330 Doesn't always happen that way. As an example we had a story some time back where a guy tried to propose at a restaurant, where he set up things with the staff to make a big event, with a woman he only dated once before. She said no, the guy ended up crying, the staff then threw the woman out for daring to say no and hurting the guys feelings.Crazy shait.

[@ayiza8511]

The wedding day is about the groom and bride no one proposes at someone else wedding that’s crazy

[@funtimerhikes2330]

The brother is really stupid for proposing when his relationship is not working out

[@VetaRoberts-sj7sw]

Nta,

[@JeanettaRoss-zr1ln]

W O W !!!

[@ThirdDegreeHugs]

I know they didnt want to celebrate or anything on her funeral and i totally get why... That aint me though *DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD*

[@taetannim3581]

Grandma might have been evil, but it's still bs that a person can be put in a "care" home against their will. Even AHs don't deserve that.

[@ManaDrain315]

Most of the people in those assisted living, skilled nursing, or memory care facilities are there against their will.

[@drifter139]

if there is reason to believe they are a threat to others or themselves, they should be there

[@jamespitts8755]

NTA

[@ssfheather6629]

I love knowing how this ended lol, I rent the story. I have 7 siblings and gave disowned 2 because they are just awful horrendous people and life is short. Poor OP at least I blocked my 2 psychos