Open Relationship Rules

If you're thinking about an open relationship, you might be looking for some open relationship or open marriage ground rules. And I get it, you want to make suer that you're being thoughtful, that you're protecting your relationship, and that you're minimizing the opportunities for harm.
Let's dive into the dos and don'ts of open relationship rules!
❓Monogamous? Open? Polyamorous? Something else? Are you and your boyfriend on the same page? Let's find out (and get you there if not).
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[@thisisbgm]

What rules or boundaries do you have for your relationship?

[@cesarcanete3402]

I'm not in one (hopefully, that will change soon), but if my relationship changed to an open relationship, mine would be: Always be upfront & honest with me & never hide things from me. Always use condoms. please make sure the guy or gal you hook up with isn't a complete douchebag & won't do anything to hurt you in anyway. As long as she does those 3 with me, I'm fine with it.

[@ChaotiqueThoughts]

I am in an open marriage and its NOT about ALLOWING your partner to do anything or setting rules that try to refrain somebody. Who am I as a wife to tell my husband that he CANT do what he wants as his own person? I talk in detail about my experiences on my channel. Check it out and let me know what you think. 😊

[@everardodiaz7748]

My rule is honesty she tells me everything

[@johncowie7703]

@@ChaotiqueThoughts Why did you bother to get married then?

[@j.rboyle8731]

@@johncowie7703 , exactly. They should stay single if that's the case.

[@ploypeangploy7929]

Hi I just found you I searched open relationship… I like your attitude and the way of speaking is very attractive. Your ideas make me feel not sad and safe. Thank you so much

[@williamcole1198]

The biggest challenge of all relationships answering the question, “what is the purpose of a relationship?” For me, I’m not sure I’d ever pursue another relationship if my current one were to ever end. We spend half our week separated due to obligations, we each have our own home and I know this has allowed us to be together for over a decade.

[@leeboriack8054]

In my twenties I would have thought your Arrangement disturbing, now at age 60 it is very logical to me. Bravo!

[@theecosmetaverse]

I know my partner for 13 years. So far our relationship is great. And yes. Its open. We both are very se*ual. Both love to travel. We are in the distance sometimes due to our careers. I trust him 100%. We dont really have the need to be with others at all but we love adventure and that option is available whenever we want to have fun. We are happy this way enjoying our feelings. We want each other to be happy and enjoy life. He is also my best friend and my family apart from partner and lover. We also set rules with the other people. "No emotional attachment or secondary relationships." And "Always honesty". So basically, we can have fuckfriends that we can meet individually or together whenever we want fun. So far, it works because we only look for people who only want sex. Depends on your partner as well. If you date a jerk or a guy with a Peter Pan mentality not ready to commit, you shouldn't have expectations indeed but if your love is solid it can last. Like our relationship. 13 years and counting. So it depends. For some people it works for others it doesn't work. You just need to love, trust, know your partner very well and do what makes you grow and be happy. Lots of love everyone ❤️

[@Solanius]

You disgust me to the core...NO HATE

[@enso3555]

Makes sense if there are boundaries in a open relationship especially emotional boundaries to which both agree it can work really fantastic

[@TheDevilEdo]

Stop spamming this shit in all related videos. Nobody cares about you gross propaganda.

[@rayj.4527]

I don't think most people are capable of long term sexual monogamy and that leads to cheating (lying and sneaking around to fuck someone else behind your partner's back). That's why i would not have a problem with having an open sexual relationship with a set of mutually agreed upun rules. It's honest and realistic.

[@SetTheCurve]

Many people don’t have readily available sexual alternatives, and what they want is security, consistency, comfort, support. There are plenty of people for whom monogamy is the only reasonable option for them. They might wish they could go around town fucking all the players, but in reality they are lucky to have even one partner, and if that partner isn’t capable of committing then they are just putting the other person at a severe emotional risk. If you need to be hooking up with people, then don’t get into a relationship with someone who truly wants monogamy (there are plenty of us)

[@johncowie7703]

Then don't get married.

[@imsohandsome]

@@johncowie7703 people are crazy lol. Making excuses is as easy as breathing. That's it

[@krissianvictir1291]

🤡

[@johncowie7703]

Why get married in the first place of you don't believe monogamy will work?

[@adgandd]

for 2:02 I mean. Monogamy on some level is a mutual agreement or arrangement meant to curb active behaviors which, among other things, cause jealousy. *Thinking about my partner being with someone else would make me feel jealous. perhaps you could even say the thought of it makes me feel a twinge of jealousy? But it actually happening? KNOWING they are actively doing this-and-that, in reality and with intent? Thats the level of jealousy that I want to avoid suffering, and I'm starting to become convinced that open-relationship folks are just built different and don't feel the same emotions in that regard. It just feels like pre-relationship dating, gussied-up to look like a domestic relationship in-between an endless string of hookups. I'd never feel important to a partner if I know the buzz on their phone IS them flirting or setting up a hookup. There is no peace or calm there. I'd feel like a convenient little slice of their time instead of the pie, a portion of whatever romance or sex life they want to experience, and probably only there until their freedom has them come across superior competition. Signing up to be a cuckold? No thank you. Just stay dating, I say. I'm very convinced that for many people, "on to the next one" is the best choice for them. It doesnt need to be relationship-cosplay.

[@fredrikbrandstrom7349]

Me and my partner were on the brink of break up. We have two kids, a house and 8 years together. We've done relationship counselling a few times, with good but limited results. The dynamic being she was exhausted (clinically) and I felt I was entering that stage as well as none of us really having our needs met. We just got on each others nerves in different ways. Long story short, we decided to give an open relationship, to let each other of the hook. I've met a few people and she's done it too. I obviously felt A LOT of jealousy, and also envy because of all the attention she received in the dating space. But the jealousy also revealed to me how much I care about her, something that kind of got lost in all our more trivial matters the years leading up to this. When embracing the jealousy I find that it gives me a lot of clues as to who I want to be in our relationship and what I need from her. She hasn't had any issues with those feelings as of yet, even though I've also met other people. The thing is - jealousy will be there and if you let your partner help you through it can be a very enriching experience emotionally. I'm a very emotionally dysregulated person so I think I have a harder time than most with this but I still feel that when my partner show me support and show up for me in the ways I need we both will grow a hell of a lot more than if we would bash our heads against a wall, not finding a way out, and probably go our separate ways. My love for her has grown so much since we decided to go down this route, not in spite of the jealousy rather because I'm deciding to le the jealousy tell me where it comes from.

[@jasonbrown4841]

Well said - thanks for the share on the rules. My ex-wife told me on our 3rd date that she was bi and wanted an open relationship. We would be with other women together but she wanted to see other couples on her own. She was open and honest as to what she wanted and I had the choice to take it or leave it. I chose the lifestyle with her, it was not always easy, jealousy for both of us at time but I would not change any part of what we had together. We had rules and were straight up with others. We were together 12 years and broke-up over money matters.

[@coreUTube]

Did she end up with one of the multiple partners y’all had for support?

[@jasonbrown4841]

@@coreUTube Hi Cory, We stayed friends and she continued full force with the lifestyle. Ya, She continued to hook up with people we were seeing and wound up with a couple she really liked but I never did. To each their own, all part of the lifestyle.

[@Marcinex]

Hiya, Very good rules. I'm personally not in an open relationship, but have recently thought about how it would be and what the caveats are. The No Repeats thing shown in the Thumbnail is kind of an interresting rule. I believe that in an open relationship your main partner should still be a priority, otherwise that's not an relationship or simply one where I would have a hard thinking session if I even want to be in it. One thing I thought about, being a Man and even though I'm in a relationship, I do sometimes fantasize about better looking or simply hotter women and I think a lot of men do that, so I would assume, that when a Man simply meets a quote on quote "better model", he'll just prefer that one above his main one. He'll rather stay with side-chick than main squeeze, so you definitely hit the nail on the head with this one. Additionally the no-one I know rule is good, it reduces the chances of the topic coming up when meeting with them and I understand that this is something that simply get's under your skin. Overall, some rules need to apply I think and the ones for Open Relationships I believe even more than for a straight up 1-Partner relationship because it's open, so also opening up to a lot of questions and risks.

[@bobcloy5171]

First rule for open relationships if your partner ask you for one you leave them

[@amehayami934]

Idk I kinda disagree. I have rules for it. (1) don't lie, honesty is the base of all relationships, even in a Non-monogamist relationship. (2) don't hide, be transparent with each other. And when I say don't hid i mean hiding that you're going to hook up with someone. I'm not saying you have to give details of everything you...Unless you're both into that. (3) it should go without saying but yes use protection. (4) always have good communication consent is very important for both parties. (And this is just me because I worry about the ones I care about) (5) please let me know if your going to be late or if you have to sleep over so I don't have to worry. But ya there is some, and I think they're good rules. Communication is everything.

[@harley1146]

Same

[@mwh3227]

Great rule! Ours are similar! We add one - either of us can veto an upcoming encounter for any reason - no hard feelings, just move on to something else! We have done MFM threesomes! She loves being with much younger men! It's been great, but the problem is finding that third person!

[@katlyndobransky2419]

Bruh wtf

[@johncowie7703]

Open relationships never end well.

[@queenneferttiti6188]

These rules are itt💯💯

[@johnstraughan9735]

What does it mean by I dont want to get close to people that I can't be out to

[@DimitriTechOfficial]

It's the "im not SOLEY responsible for thier feelings" is what my ex didnt understand. He just thought he wasnt and disregarded them. He did have some responsibility though, but chose to invalidate them. Thats why we broke up.

[@LunaSky381]

Same with my ex. And a friends ex. Common among people with commitment issues. And a trend among polyamory guys

[@Alaskanman]

@@LunaSky381 It's like walking into a fire and expecting little burns

[@iamsuzn1224]

@@LunaSky381 can you can explain to me what does that mean please as English isn't my first language and i need to understand that reason 🥺

[@mwh3227]

HONESTY!

[@jamesidk1575]

Idk who needs to hear this but if you're here because they suggested opening the relationship after you've both been monogamous for a long time and you're looking at videos about open relationships to try and warm yourself up to the idea then it is so, SO over. The relationship is kaput. It's done. I cannot stress how unbelievably over it is like the shit is OVER.

[@thisisbgm]

Many of the clients that I’ve worked with over the years looked up videos such as this one after one partner expressed an interest in an open or polyamorous relationship and nearly all of them all still together years later, thriving. I hope folks watching this video and reading these comments don’t give up on a loving relationship because some pessimistic stranger on the internet told them too. I wish you well.

[@sdjslkdjlsskldjslkdjsl8262]

@@thisisbgm you're spreading cultural poison for profit.

[@TheDevilEdo]

​@thisisbgm literal cope, of course someone who wants to sell would say this.

[@cherrys200013]

I’m 19, and I’m still not understanding what is an open relationship?

[@PedreirodaAmora]

Bro you ca fuck the girl but you cant like fuck other girls you can kiss flirt and all that but not get somme pussy but thath changes to girls to girls oh yeah no love

[@PedreirodaAmora]

I'm 18 btw

[@frogzet502]

@Dillards Shopper I didn't know what an open relationship was untill now and I am in one and now that I know what it's is I'm not very happy about that it kind of makes me feel miserable to see that my spouse is with someone else and the thing is I don't want to leave them but I don't want to have an open realashonship and I can't say no because I don't want to upset them

[@frogzet502]

@Dillards Shopper btw I'm a male lol and thank u for the advice

[@frogzet502]

@Dillards Shopper thank u for all the advice again..... And also I hope nothing goes wrong ether

[@nolan6137]

Remember guys, if your girl asks for an open relationship just pick up a chair. Bash out the nearest window with said chair and then proceed to use a chair leg to clear any glass chunks from the window frame before jumping out and running away.

[@jordanmorris5752]

Underated

[@thisisbgm]

Thanks Jordan!

[@casmartin790]

Rules in open relationships = Things that make me jealous/things I know I bs about them

[@nondescript4311]

Ours are to discuss the background of the partners. I'm madly in love with my boyfriend and he is too, but he can't give me time because he's super busy. We're trying an open relationship, and for far future, if we are still each other's main and can settle in the same city, we'll get married. I'm hoping it works fine. We won't ever be cheating that way. I would like to go and meet other girls he'll see, because he's not as confident in these things as I am. He just wants to run background checks on all the guys or girls I'll see because he's worried about my safety.

[@davidcochran9753]

Brian, you're such a cutie, and i love your channel! thanks for being there!😘

[@thisisbgm]

You are so welcome

[@ted1091]

I'm not sure why he keeps laughing. It's like he's just too hip for the subject.

[@glass_live405]

God bless these folks

[@williamdacosta9026]

Ladies and gentlemen here at 1 better don't ever start an open relationship they don't work the end in tragedy

[@dalidzucheredi2495]

No

[@DaBabyDoll1]

I don’t get this open relationship shit! 😢

[@spiritconjure2996]

I for one support open relationships and open marriages. I think people are closed minded on that subject.

[@bartonnink3896]

I dont think people are close minded. I think they see the shitshow coming from a mile away lol.

[@edwardr9130]

And man who is not a weak beta simp will throw “wife” like that out after this “offer”

[@curious1053]

Just because people don’t like it, doesn’t mean they don’t understand it.

[@waleedalarmanazi159]

Or you are just a cuckold who is okay with "wife- YOUR woman" gets fucked by others, like jeez if you want open relationship just stay single and settle for casual hookups, this open relationship totally contradicts the idea of relationship.. i think your mind is "shut" not even just close

[@sjdbfi]

​@@curious1053they clearly can't understand it it's too far from their opinion

[@LarryP248]

The invaluable insights in this content are life-altering. A book I read with like themes reshaped my worldview. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

[@thisisbgm]

I’m so glad!

[@Rudebwoy64]

Might as well have friends with benefits that’s all

[@rockybalboa4593]

This is just a way of enabling toxic behavior. The only people who want this are narcissists and sociopaths. Nobody else. Both get pathologically bored very easily and need constant stimulation from something new (also known as narcissistic supply). It’s way of enabling a form of manipulation called triangulation. It erodes your self esteem in the process while making you feel you can be replaced at any time. Anyone who agrees to this clearly has low self esteem and self worth issues. Codependent types are prime prey for this BS. I don’t care what anyone says. This is garbage. This is just a trendy modern way of describing the creation of a narcissistic harem for someone who has narcissistic personality disorder or is a sociopath. Remember, people who have a personality disorder never realize it. Our personalities feel “normal” to us. Those who are disordered have no self awareness, and that’s part of the reason why they can’t be treated. It’s best to just keep away from them and go no contact when you can.

[@Disglusting]

@@rockybalboa4593 The possessiveness, insecurity and toxic jealousy in you is so palpable. You have a lot of work to do to be at peace with yourself and reduce your ignorance; I hope you find the courage to start soon.

[@Disglusting]

@@joshn2342323 No.

[@birdgod5584]

Open relationships are more formal and the partners are closer than in friends with benefits.

[@user-yu3dq3sm9l]

@@Disglustingratio

[@Solanius]

I am a 20-year-old man, never having been in a relationship because I will wait until my marriage. I learned about open relationships today. I am a simple man, so I Googled it and found this video. Well, I have to say it's not a relationship; it's cuckoldry, simple. Full of depressed people who say everything is fine outside, and they cry inside. This topic brings out the primal disgust that is what nature gave me outside. I feel like vomiting. Hell, I never had this feeling of puking after watching dozens of gore horror movies out there. If you're a person or your companion suggesting you have an open relationship, leave them. There is something wrong with them or Yourself.

[@sdjslkdjlsskldjslkdjsl8262]

it's so depressing to be born into an era where this is becoming more and more accepted

[@queenneferttiti6188]

This has been happening since the Bible times

[@TheDevilEdo]

No. It's not becoming accepted, just look at how many views this garbage has. Most people are still normal, don't think that garbage you see in social media is the rule.

[@bobcloy5171]

The other partner who wants the open relationships pays for half of everything you no longer support them

[@Unsername6785]

W

[@lesliethecutie100]

no repeats? 😂

[@thisisbgm]

repeats are where the most fun / most meaning is for me. I can't imagine a "no repeats" rule but it's certainly something people try 🤷

[@thegochie]

Forcing 1-night-stands instead of seeing people multiple times is a much safer bet that neither party will fall in love with a 3rd party and destroy the relationship.

[@shrmisthaarjuncharan9695]

Why not remain single..why have a partner or marriage at the first place..you can do fnf no strings attached.

[@leavo979]

Well, cause you're in love. I find the idea of an open relationship interesting. Heck, healthy even. The idea that some people have, that you only find one person sexually attractive for the rest of your life and your whole world should revolve around them is honestly just not realistic. The fact that I know so many couples that eventually cheated on each other just shows this for me. But if you allow each other to be attracted to other people and allow yourself to not let that define the relationship you have (for me desire and love can be two separate things), you end up with an even more intimate relationship. (This also doesn't mean that being involved with other people occurs aaaall the time. In my experience it happens rarely, it's just that the possibility is there). In my experience it leads to so much openness and trust with one another and also to letting go of one's irrational jealousy. But I do get why it's not for everyone, I just wanted to point out the upsides of it! :)

[@queenneferttiti6188]

@@leavo979👏🏾

[@TheDevilEdo]

​@@leavo979 What about you point out the downsides 😂

[@DEMONICKHILLER-fx2ln]

No repeats!!! Oh gosh now i know my ex’s body count is through the roof!!! Oh GOD IM GONNA PUKE!! 🤮🤢

[@MGM14100]

When you say “certified relationship coach”, who certified you?

[@suwai6679]

If you want an “open relationship,” just be single and date multiple people at once without moving in together, getting married, buying a home, etc. That will make your life easier. Don’t drag people into committed monogamous relationship and pressure them to open it up later. If you’re already in a monogamous relationship, want to open, but your partner doesn’t want to, either stay wholeheartedly or leave now. They don’t deserve to be dragged along further. And, you’ll not get the depth of a monogamous relationship when you’re open; so choose wisely.

[@hammypie]

Do: Don’t have an open relationship. Don’t: Have an open relationship.

[@thisisbgm]

That's great for you! Don't have one :)

[@hammypie]

@@thisisbgm True! It's only for degenerates.

[@johncowie7703]

Go find a good divorce attorney.

[@isidoreaerys8745]

You look like spiderman

[@leticiall4719]

U r handsome

[@thisisbgm]

Thanks!

[@rmccaw7]

The whole concept of open relationships completely misses the point of a romantic relationship in the first place: stabilising that part of the world for each other. Implementing peripheral ground rules once you've jettisoned the cental tenets of love and companionship (and expression thereof) is desperately wrong. I'm afraid the whole thing is pure degeneracy.

[@waleedalarmanazi159]

Exactly, just trying to validate wrongful lust

[@enol1466]

that is your view, it's not fact, it's simply a view point of yours that not everyone shares

[@rmccaw7]

@E nol I think the definitions of these terms are fairly established at this point, so the definitional incongruity I'm talking about makes it pretty factual. It would be like me saying all triangles have three sides, and you commenting that we don't know that because we haven't seen all the triangles yet.

[@brendanmawhood4562]

The problem with the world is they people judge everybody else. Who are you to say it’s wrong, that your feelings are right. That everyone else is wrong. Maybe if you focused on yourself and not on others. And if you are so against it, why did you even watch this steam.

[@sjdbfi]

For u that's your opinion and u get no bitches anyways relax

[@Disglusting]

You should never have 'rules' in am open relationship, and any boundaries you have are *yours* - they should NEVER inform what the other person is or isn't "allowed" to do. Things like those mentioned in the thumbnail are not ethical or healthy for non-monog relationships. You need to work on the reasons behind your jealousy and work through them together, rather than imposing rules on to them just to mitigate your insecurities.

[@thisisbgm]

did you watch the video?

[@steveblah5]

My GF and I mutually decided to open our relationship. Started seeing a guy last week in a poly marriage who is an ex-marine, with an arsenal of weapons who just accused her of using him to cheat on me. She added him on FB to clear the air but since this is so new I'm concerned. He can now find my address. Apparently, my gf is the 3rd person he's successfully courted and he's already displaying paranoid tendencies (yes, i'm aware I may be the paranoid one!). What if this guy catches feelings and becomes possessive? Neither of us knows what he's capable of. How should I bring up my concerns?

[@rmccaw7]

This is actually insane. The only things that makes a relationship a relationship are the duties and responsibilities that you make to one another. And sex is the main one. What you're describing sounds like a whole world of hell.

[@dj51562]

This woman is clearly a psychopath...please stfu and get help

[@ten_tego_teges]

@@rmccaw7 What she is describing is like the world in the book Brave New World.

[@vladvale]

🤮

[@PrashantKumar-zf8tk]

Chup chutiyr

[@user-gi1wx4so8o]

Y dont u pause ashole_😂

[@standground8284]

Open relationships with boundaries and rules are basically monogamous relationships with less rules, why not save the headache and remain single and sleep with whoever you want instead of pretending. *The biggest winners in open relationships will be the promiscuous women.* They’ll be allowed the opportunity to run the streets taking more loads than a washing machine then come back to home base where there is a guy who’s providing emotional support, spending his time and resources to support her while the guys she actually wants and prefers are smashing her with zero obligations to provide for her whatsoever. Then when said woman finds someone she loves, or likes better she’ll leave the guy she started the open relationship with because he played a role in “pushing her into the arms of another lover”. Almost all a disaster, always fighting, jealousy, all deal with one or both constantly breaking rules, lying and misleading. Why is lying and misleading even a concern if it’s an open relationship? It’s basically bring online dating to reality.

[@bob1519]

Polyamorous what a joke