Are You Anxious, Avoidant, or Secure? (with Adam Lane Smith)

Рет қаралды 9,016

Күн бұрын

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@kevinwilliamson9900 11 ай бұрын

I appreciate this video. I am a therapist and this field has been feminized as has everything else in our society. It is nice to hear from other men in this field that are reclaiming masculinity.

@hspinnovators5516 7 ай бұрын

Adams work is the most relevant and best on you tube right now

@jessicamorales2555 5 ай бұрын

To me, Adam and Heidi Priebe. Outstandind contents each one in their own style.

@jessicamorales2555 5 ай бұрын

Wise words,...no woman wants to be masculine, but we need to protect. If the man does not stand up I see no woman waiting in peace. We either stress out or stand up.

@Animenerdgirl1234 Ай бұрын

Wow, Adam Lane Smith, I am absolutely blown away by your work. For some context, I am a recovering anxiously attached person working towards becoming secure/securely attached. I had to say here that I personally loved your expression of what manliness actually is about halfway through this video, so much so that it made me emotional. My dad has been significantly absent in my life, and his relationship with my mom was terrible and ended in divorce after 30 whole years of marriage, so I never really had true manliness modeled for me; especially since my dad was emotionally unavailable. I had no idea what I was I was looking for in dating others, other than a few basic personal qualities. Now I feel like I KNOW what to look for. Most importantly, I found out what piece was missing from my father during childhood, and was able to make peace with it, forgive it, and feel free from the pain of a wound I didn’t realize I was suffering from. Thank you for changing my life for the better.

@JonathonYoppini 10 ай бұрын

My wife and I are working through Adam's attachment course right now. Great stuff. Appreciate the episode!

@Riceonrice 11 ай бұрын

Ay man , i just want to say thanks for everything. You helped me through i rough divorce and helped me navigate remarrying . I just want to thank you from a long term listener!

@rosieshades6134 7 ай бұрын

This was great! Thank you. To the one on the right holding the podcast, you are a good listener and do a good job at keeping the conversation supportive and continuing. I saw another with Teal Swan being interviewed as an example, and it was excruciating to watch because he did not listen and she couldnt shine her view and be fully heard (whether your a fan of her or not). It is so important to give that to the person speaking, and YOU DID just that, putting your own thoughtful comments and participation at just the right moments. Adam’s work has been amazing to implement in my life as well, so I just want to thank you both for being such conscious awesome real MEN!!!!

@davidguidry657 11 ай бұрын

We definitely need a part 2 on this! I have been hearing a lot about attachment style lately but mainly from a female perspective so it was refreshing to hear how similar yet unique we are as men in this area. The last segment where y’all discussed vasopressin was especially interesting. In it, Adam mentioned overcoming challenges or settling disagreements together and that got me thinking. I’d love to hear his opinion on whether or not that may be why some women have a tendency to “create drama”. Could it be their attempt at seeking vasopressin bonding? Great episode! I have already shared it with others.

@paulpopescu2757 Ай бұрын

20:09 "nuclear family was number 1" 20:31 "extended family" etc. 5 networks.. Fascinating!

@rc5396 2 ай бұрын

I would say it's higher than 65%. I also dont see the few securely attached people having as many kids. I do however see a lot of Borderline, anxious attachment type woman having kids because it's appealing to them as someone that can't leave them in their younger years and they quickly parentify that child and make them responsible for regulating them. Its also appealing to the borderline as a way to keep their partners tethered to them and make it harder to leave. Unfortunately a lot of men are very attracted to borderline women. Those kids they have with them suffer and grow up with attachment issues for sure. I see sons of these moms coming out avoidant and I understand why. The men with borderline moms have resentment towards women if they havent done the work to heal. Narcissistic people also love to have kids as a supply for them and those kids are bound to have attachment issues as well. A lot of manipulative and harmful people out there having kids which will only increase the number of people with unhealthy attachment.

@---nu5gg 4 ай бұрын

Adam is a very smart man.

@brianbachmeier34 11 ай бұрын

Happy New Year

@MusaKafiar-i2f 2 ай бұрын

Thanks good night 🙏

@David-l2u6m 3 ай бұрын

Grate for all men to hear I totally believe rebuild men network face to face is most important for a lasting legacy.solveing problems together allowing a woman 👠 10 x her female nature to feel safe because of protection 💯❤️💪

@dgtv71 2 ай бұрын

If it possible to be a combination of the 3 ? Is it possible to start as anxious and evolve into an avoidant?

@TorisGotAStory 6 ай бұрын

I’m confused and need some insight. Men need to be the leader and bond w men to resolve issues. Am I understanding it right, it’s men that you can resolve with e because women should be protected? He’s responsible for almost everything, that is an incredible amount of stress and secludes him. Does that not make him avoidant? Why would I as his cofounder want him to take everything on? I thought we were a team. I don’t want to be babied. Im out in the world working too, most people cannot survive on just one income. Towards the end the gentleman asks what does a man do if the romance has died, and you said do not go to women to help solve the problem. Isn’t that the opposite of what you say relationships need to bond? To work together and solve problems? I am not against men talking with men. That needs to happen. Friendships are very much needed. At 41.05 minutes you talk about the bonding w a woman. You go through conflict together and talk through things, sharing each others sides. Making a confounding business together with a smart intelligent cofounder that wants you to succeed. Doesn’t that conflict with saying men need to go to other men to resolve conflict? Including romantic problems? I feel like I’m missing something huge in what you’re saying bc it seems like two opposite theories. I’m so confused and need clarification. Unless you’re saying, solve with your significant other, but know that you have a back up of help through other men you seem trust worthy and have the 4 trust factors. Can you pls clarify?

@sheradenart7907 25 күн бұрын

I would love to see a collaboration between you and Allison Armstrong.

@tinawizi2380 8 ай бұрын

Can you restate the 5 clusters to build healthy human relationships? Adam mentioned 3…immediate family, extended family and religious affiliation.

@sheradenart7907 20 күн бұрын

I give my husband attention out of desire to be close. I rub his back because it hurts, not because I expect him to return the favor. I don't get upset with him because I do it, but I do admit that sometimes I feel as though my pain means less to him. I don't do it because I expect him to return the favor, but it does make me sad if I am clearly in pain and he doesn't offer to help me.

@sheradenart7907 20 күн бұрын

I think it isn't necessarily that men aren't manly enough, it is more that they are either too masculine and act like being feminine means subsurvient and weak or they are not masculine enough. A few years ago I read and article about lionesses that had run off the males and were becoming masculine in order to protect the pride because the lions kept killing the babies of other lion males. I think the problem is similar with us, alot of the men have toxic masculinity.

@gretchenburton7184 7 ай бұрын

Am everything...plus female...

@roxanemarin5387 17 күн бұрын

Love direct men! That’s why I married an Italian ❤️

@SaraArnold-c3w Ай бұрын

his secret is that he is articulate

@MusaKafiar-i2f 2 ай бұрын

Karena saya berani tetapkan kerena berdua sebelumnya sudah menggunakan hubungan komunikasi koordinasi informasi perjalanan biaya tempat tujuan energi yang tidak di ketahui pihak ketiga, yang berikut berapa besar biaya tiket pesawat, makan minum penginapan dan uang saku oke, jelas dia korbankan karena rencana niat untuk bengkok isi lobang yang berjalan oke thanks syalom 🙏