20 Tips for Navigating Life After a Late Autism Diagnosis

[@WorthlessDeadEnd]

For all my life, I have said that I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have always known that I am not normal. My parents love me, but they don't know how to help me. I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for over twenty years, but I really don't feel depressed most of the time. I *_have,_* however, always felt "defective", a burden to society, and broken. So that is most likely where the depression comes from. Knowing that I cannot change myself, my condition, the way I think, or how I navigate through life is so depressing and defeating, but knowing that I am most likely autistic has given me a reason to live (it's not the only reason, but I'll take as many as I can get). It's not that I *_want_* to be autistic. I just want the same thing my parents have always wanted for me: *Answers.* And I have begun to find them here in this community. I remember pouring my heart out to my grandmother a year before she died about how hopeless I felt, and how I saw myself and life in general. I can still see her bowing her head, slowly shaking it, and saying, _"I don't know about you."_ Like she had given up on me, though the signs were always there. We just didn't know how to recognize them. What dreams and wishes she may have had for me, died, and she was mourning them. And I am okay with that, because we don't know what we don't know. We can't help not knowing something that we just don't know. 🤷‍♂ That is why I believe it is so crucial to properly educate society on autism. And that is why I am grateful to this community and will continue to support it.

[@kevinedw2002]

@@WorthlessDeadEnd I fully understand - pretty much describes my life.

[@brandonfbomb_2327]

@@WorthlessDeadEnd This post is worth living for. Thank you!

[@WorthlessDeadEnd]

@kevinedw2002 Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry that you have shared many of the same difficulties as me, but thankfully, we are here together. ☺️

[@WorthlessDeadEnd]

@@brandonfbomb_2327 Wow! Thank *_you!_* 😊

[@krissyk9767]

I feel the same way. I've never felt like I fit in or belong. I have bad anxiety which makes every day a stuggle. I can only work part time because being at work is so difficult for me. I don't know whether I have autism, but I relate to alot of the same characteristics and struggles. Whether we have autism or not, I think we have to some extent accept the way we are, accept our differences because often there's nothing we can do about it except to cope with life as best we can.

[@jakke1975]

When you're an AuDHD'er, routine is so hard to implement. Without it, you get deregulated and with it, you get so frustrated from not going after what your brain needs at that moment. It's an internal battle that never stops. I have learned to live without the routine but I don't think the world around me has. Either way, it's just so messed up and causing so much anxiety and depression.

[@aroset]

Is it just me or does being an Audhd'er make you feel like all you do in life is spend your time deciding on the "lesser evil"? This, or that? Better, or worse? Give into the adhd, or the autism? What will keep me on track?

[@jakke1975]

@@aroset You're definitely not alone.

[@PC_Ringo]

​@@aroset100% usually just sit here figuring out the path of least resistance.

[@PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim]

The very thought of living without my routines, gives me palpitations. I want every day to start the same. I want my life to be the same. I eat the same things, buy the same things, read the same kind of books. I really get upset with change.

[@jakke1975]

@@PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim that's what autism requires, it's normal. But having ADHD as well throws a huge spanner in the works, making routines nearly impossible...

[@ladyamalthea85]

I've been so lonely my entire life, even when I'm with my loved ones.

[@Crouteceleste]

I used to feel NOT lonely only when I was with my family, but now I live far from my mom, my sister and I got into a stupid argument and we haven't talked for 6 months or seen each other for a year, and my little brother is too caught up in his own life to care about anyone else. I got a friend but she's vexed with me for taking a few days off our mutual job for mental and physical rest. So now I am alone and I feel lonely. I hope that someday I'll get my family back, a friend who understands that you should take care of yourself (and that being useful to society despite how you feel only makes you die sooner because society doesn't care about or for you), and maybe, if the future is generous, one day a kind partner to share some years with ?

[@ladyamalthea85]

@Crouteceleste I do have a wonderful partner, he's one of the few people who understands me. I've been going through some health issues and our relationship is under a lot of stress, so we're not our best selves to each other right now, as much as we still love each other

[@SingingSealRiana]

Feel you, my parents really tried but we plain never managed to propperly communicate and it felt so shameful

[@Ripley.66]

Well, welcome to a beautiful, honest, generous, and fun community !🎉

[@Dancestar1981]

@@Croutecelestesometimes you have to reach out and apologise for any misunderstanding with family and try to sort things out both of you may have said some hurtful things in heat of moment but didn’t mean it then you can reconnect while it’s hard you will feel better for it. Family will forgive you in the end

[@shellystewart1084]

After my grandson was diagnosed, all of my “quirks” and “ strong willed child “ labels all make sense! Wow! I’m 53 now. Wow! Life changing! I finally understand me!

[@abundanceangels]

@@shellystewart1084 I’m 55 and my 28 year old daughter is the one who recognized we are both autistic and it explains everything about us now. Our life has been so different and now it makes sense and I’m happy to be autistic- it’s a blessing 🌷

[@toscatattertail9813]

Being late diagnosed has been a revelation. 70, female and labeled as difficult and stubborn, abused out of many of the identifying traits early in childhood by my Silent Generation Covert Narcissistic mother. I was identified after my 32 year old son was diagnosed.

[@MrsD-o4f]

WOW, my son found this out about himself and then told me being his mom because everyone says we're, "so much alike." I took the online test and scored the same as my son; I was stunned. We know ourselves much better now, even though I'm 60, it's better late than never!:) My son sent me this video , really enjoying your information. At 60 years old, I'm learning so much more about myself. I thank God for my son's discovery on our beautiful soul's minds!:) Love to all, DOCNMOM

[@Dancestar1981]

Isn’t it wonderful we already know we are different now you just know why

[@Dancestar1981]

@@toscatattertail9813hard isn’t it can’t remember which philosopher said know they self but it’s great advice

[@andykerslake]

I received my diagnosis 5 days ago. I have told all my friends and most have been accepting. Most know that I have sensory issues, and I am different, so telling them I am autistic was not a shock. The majority of my friends are very clued in and educated already about asd. After my diagnosis, I was told that I might become more noticeably autistic by the outside world. That was just it - I was already noticed by the outside world. I am me, I am autistic! Thanks Orion, you help me to cope with neurotypical people 👍

[@Awakenedkarolina]

Congratulations. You are very lucky to have people in your life who have seen you for who you are.

[@andykerslake]

@@Awakenedkarolina Thanks 🙏 It has made the transition easier than I had expected. The response I received from many people is ‘I already know, I’ve been waiting for you to find out’.

[@eScential]

​@@andykerslake is it finally ok to give people hints? Nevermind.....i just point it out😂

[@collinmorris]

Where did you go to get evaluated/diagnosed?

[@paulblasdale6728]

@@andykerslake congratulations Andy. I am still and always shall be your friend.

[@hayleyball6912]

I've just been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was such a relief but at the same time I also felt angry. The diagnosis has explained so much about my life and struggles. School and work have been such a battle for me and now I feel I've been left to figure this out on my own. Thank God for channels like yours, they are life savers! I have got by in life on my own but really I've always needed support especially in the work place. I'm 48 years old!😕

[@Dancestar1981]

I hear you I’m 43 also really late diagnosed

[@HanjaKosh]

Autism isnt a bad thing. Its actually an improvement of life, but the rest of society doesn’t understand and insults it. I dont need support, but the rest of the world needs to learn

[@Dancestar1981]

@ exactly we are broken we don’t need fixing, it’s the rest of the world that does

[@HanjaKosh]

@@hayleyball6912 It’s only struggling because it is like teaching advanced physics to a first grader. We have different methods of gathering information. While others take in whatever they can gather and just go with it, I analyze everything and ask questions in order to keep analyzing for the best answer. Yes, people rarely think as much when they talk. I was shocked when I found out and also very intrigued at the same time lol.

[@HanjaKosh]

@@Dancestar1981 The only thing that may be broken is my empathy towards people. The years of me shaking my head at people made me hate society to a point of no return.

[@wendyfollett8099]

Dying with laughter about finding autistic community! I figured out about a year ago that I'm autistic and I'm just waiting on my formal diagnosis. I decided that I needed to tell my adult kids about everything. The results were not quite what I expected. 3 out of 4 all said that they were! I have about 5 autistic grandchildren and 2 of my children have married partners who are autistic! This explains why I mostly only socialise with my family. I bred my own autistic community over the last 45 years!😅

[@SingingSealRiana]

Thats lucky when it works, glad for you!

[@lindakrumenauer1099]

Yup!😂

[@gzoechi]

That's not the first time I hear that.

[@BetterNeurodivergentTravel]

Sounds familiar!

[@toscatattertail9813]

when my son was identified, and i took the evaluations he was given that put me squarely on the spectrum i began talking with my older sister and she inturn talked to the cousins, it turns out my father was autistic, possibly one of his siblings, there are 3 in my generation and 8 in the generation of my son.

[@helenhill9482]

Great video! Thank you. I turn 60 next month and was diagnosed autistic a few weeks ago. Struggling with some family members and friends who don’t believe that I’m autistic - like it’s something we’d make up or actually want, when we all crave to just fit in with the crowd!!! They seem to think it’s an easy diagnosis to get, or that the system is over-diagnosing, or “everyone is a bit autistic”, etc, etc. Talk about being invalidated and gaslit!!! It’s not like you just go to the doctor and tell them you feel different and they hand out a diagnosis.

[@Discovery3116]

I dealt with this as well, eventually most people came around after the initial resistance. It felt terrible to have people respond that way at such a vulnerable time. Hang in there!

[@kevinedw2002]

@@helenhill9482 I'm 57 and was diagnosed with ADHD/autism about a year ago. I told some colleagues about my diagnosis, and all I got was 'well, you're high functioning'. This for me felt like a step backwards, and invalidated all the pain, anguish, frustration, and alienation I have felt most of my life. I was going to point out that they don't understand what my 'interior world' is like, but felt it would just look like a desperate attempt to be 'special'.

[@helenhill9482]

It really hurts doesn’t it?!

[@catlifechannel3886]

Sorry you’ve been treated like that. I won’t be telling many people, for this reason. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@helenhill9482]

⁠@@catlifechannel3886you’re welcome. All the best. ❤

[@PatchworkDragon]

Your statement at 16:10 made me burst into tears. Last Friday was my last day at a job that I've had for over a decade - a job that I was good at, and one that brought me a lot of fulfillment. I have a *lot* of guilt over leaving, but "I can't put myself through this anymore" hits the nail on the head. My surprise - and relief - at knowing I am not the only one to experience this is tremendous. Between that and my discomfort with change (even good change), I have really been in distress the last few days. I only wish it were easier to explain to others. Thank you so much, Orion.

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

Hey, congratulations on the transition to the *next* chapter in your life, where you can look to build a life that minimizes how much you have put yourself through the wringer. ♥

[@toscatattertail9813]

you are definitely not alone, i left a job i loved because the people around me made it a hostile environment then a new manager stepped in. it only took him 6 months of constant pressure to cause a mental/emotional collapse.

[@Dancestar1981]

Finding your people is great isn’t it

[@Dancestar1981]

⁠@@toscatattertail9813better to get out if you need to for mental health

[@robintst]

Got my diagnosis last year and now I'm 40. I thought I'd be afraid to hear the truth but it more gave me solace that I finally could put a name to what's been going on up there in the ol' brain meats all my life. Understanding that now is helping me better deal with a lot of long-standing emotional trauma and abuse too. Even with that, I've never been more at peace with myself.

[@Dancestar1981]

True now it’s time for a new start that’s exciting

[@ScottJohnson-tk7ql]

I resonate with what you are saying around 10:10 to 10:13. However as a thoroughgoing introvert, I must say it was a pleasant surprise to have people drop out of my life after diagnosis. The less peopley my life is, the better

[@jillianoldfield2300]

Well said! 🎉 😂

[@GoodBeets4ME]

one of my wonderings about autistic self regulation is around knowing we all used to do physical labor as part of our day only 50 or so years ago. And, of course, even more labor before then. What I wonder is if, knowing autism has always been part of the human species, we were able to be more self regulated as exercise was built into our day through labor, especially living heavy things. Another helpful video, thanks Orion!

[@HKrisaH]

yes king david was probably autistic, and some other bible people. 😊 God made us special for some reason in each case.

[@Catlily5]

Interesting point.

[@Dancestar1981]

@@Catlily5or if not heavy labor we were the masons and craftsmen or women the creatives

[@Catlily5]

@@Dancestar1981 There weren't many (if any) women stone masons. But I am sure many autistic people did some kind of work. Probably women mostly stayed home with the children. But they might have worked as well.

[@monikap8777]

@@Dancestar1981 or witches 😂 because sometimes I can predict things which are bot connected to me in any way. I believe it is becauae we recognise patterns well

[@Awakenedkarolina]

Excellent video Orion. I am 64 and have recently self-diagnosed myself. Even without the ‘official, medically sanctioned’ diagnosis, I found your 20 point video to be most helpful. I am certainly in need of community as it appears that my relationship of 10 years is falling away.

[@autodidactin]

Hey Orion, I just want to tell you that your videos are not only very helpful for other autistic people, but also for those of us who have an autistic person in our lives that we want to relate to in an understanding and supportive way. Thank you!

[@brandonfbomb_2327]

Autism is a lifetime of epiphanies...

[@Krista-388]

Same lol ​@@WeAreCRSD

[@kerkerzwerg]

​@@WeAreCRSD yeah, I know what you mean..

[@flyygurl18]

😍

[@barbaradoye1989]

Yes! Indeed!😂😀

[@SuperGingerBickies]

Amen!

[@RyanDickey-lp3sn]

I really felt the “sigh” after trying to explain your diagnosis to people 😅

[@Be_Positive-_-bloodType]

Thank you enormously Orion 🙏 the very first minutes of this video describe exactly what I've been feeling and facing the past weeks after a life of being called "different'' and or ''Weird''.. my autism was always hidden due to being a clever child, always top of the class and had a bunch of childhood mates😅'' my bunch of weirdos'', friends/ neighbors/ classmates 😂 all the way till middle school where life started to shift and my differentness popped up due to environment change.. fast forward to university days where I also had my people 😂 I always attract weirdos like me where the weirdness just fades and no one would point it out, being a female made it hard, I had friends and a life bestie, being very polite and analytical, trained myself to read others and sympathize with them... At 30 to identify as autistic is really life changing without any change😅 I mean it's like getting the subtitle to a movie with foreign language and only now I understand what it was🤭 My biggest challenge is indeed getting a job and keep it, I struggle with authority and socializing, neurotipical are hard yo deal with😅

[@Dancestar1981]

Common story

[@Dancestar1981]

Maybe self employment could work but first you have to identify your strengths and see if you can pivot it into a job. I’m still trying to do that only got dual diagnosis ASD and ADHD last year age 42

[@Be_Positive-_-bloodType]

@@Dancestar1981 I hope your diagnosis gives you some clarity and peace of mind🙏 I tried both self employment and office work, neither lasted for long😅 but I'm an optimist (realistic optimist).. what matters is knowing what you want /need and keep moving forward. wishing you well 🍀

[@Casmomof3]

This really resonated with me. I've always had one or two other 'weirdo' friends who I could discuss philosophy, poetry, music and classic literature with. I have always been called cooky and weird and I try not to offer up too much in 'casual' conversation for fear as being outcast as weird. It's been hard for me to keep a job too. I've tried so many things. I eventually became a teacher (music and English) because I could work within my areas of special interest. I have spent a lot of time working with autistic pupils and always found it easy. It took me until my late 30s to realise it's because I'm autistic too. Finding a career that incorporates your special interests makes work so much easier (though still very difficult at times). I like teaching because I don't have to deal with a lot if the legal, admin and financial elements of being self employed, but I do get to be my own boss in my classroom. Having a job where you are independent is a fantastic compromise if you couldn't cope with the stress if self-employment.

[@Be_Positive-_-bloodType]

Happy for you that you found your calling and a place where you can be yourself 💙 I pray for all the individuals in the Autism community to find such place as well😊 ✌live longer and prosper

[@tdsollog]

Thank you for continuing to be here and advocate & educate for the community.

[@peekaboo7424]

I’m 62 & was just formally diagnosed. 62!!!!!!!! Going through bouts of imposter syndrome, rage, & relief. I actually only started to think I might be autistic because I found autistic creators on KZbin that I resonated with. Resonated with their childhood; their sensory sensitivities; their challenges with neurotypical interactions, etc. So I truly want to thank all those creators. Orion since I’m on your channel let me take a pause to thank you personally. Thank You❣️❣️❣️❣️ Ive thought about starting my own channel but rejection sensitivity is real my friend. As usual I don’t know how to end. Transitions are very difficult for me. I’ll just say see you around my friends 💌🦋🕊️ Anyone know how I can find/which creators have discord servers? I know one yt creator who charges to be part of her community. No, no, no‼️‼️‼️ I don’t want to do it just because they (in my opinion) are gate keeping/putting barriers up. Just goes against my grain. Infuriates🤬 me‼️‼️‼️

[@paulmann7973]

Thank you Orion. I'm recently aware of my autism, such a light bulb moment after 35 years of fatigue and supposed depression diagnosis. So many other traits suddenly explain who and how I am. I am lucky to have gravitated to a career as a land surveyor, AuDHD is my superability here. I had recently identified my social isolation as an issue, plus need for excercise, so joined a newly formed local social walking group this weekend. This really ticks boxes for me, the sensory inputs of the outdoors, walking in my own space, or in companiable peace, or chatting for a few minutes as my mood takes me. Now that I know my needs better, I can communicate them better and have made good steps to finding support. The grief for lost years is tough, but being able to be alive much more in the moment more than compensates. Taking more executive contol of my senses is powerful. I am hypersensitive and have spent most my life blocking inputs, only allowing senses to register a muffled 1. Trusting myself, relaxing and allowing the full 11 (Spinal Tap reference) is magical, be it barefoot on grass or music on headphones; just as long as I'm feeling in a safe space. Empathy, another previously suppressed superability, it allows such deep connection but is so tiring. I have found all friends and family really supportive (I mostly emailed saying "you know I've struggled with fatigue for years and always been a bit odd, turns out this is because I am autistic. This doesn't change who I am, as it is who I've always beeen, and it isn't something to offer sympathy for as i think it great" before explaining it in a bit more detail. It was actually a lot more detail, but I know to sleep on emails and edit down the next day.) My nearest family (wife and children) were nervous, yes it changed relationships, but in really positive ways; I'm thankful for their trust and patience. Anyone else with a late identification (diagnosed or not), Orion's tips here are so on the mark. The voyage ahead may seem daunting, but it will bring treasures to exceed your dreams. Be brave, be true to yourself, and you will become your best self to those around you who trully matter.

[@bastiaan3159]

Thanks @paulmann7973 for those words. They stroke a chord.

[@autodidactin]

Eloquently expressed!

[@Awakenedkarolina]

Hi Paul. I loved your comment and I’d be really curious to know what else you said to your email to family and friends as this is something that I’m currently really struggling with having recently learned that I’m autistic. Especially since CoVid, I’ve been very socially isolated. I have an urge to reach out but I feel too vulnerable to be dismissed. I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks, Karen

[@Dancestar1981]

@@Awakenedkarolinashared interests are a great place to form new relationships

[@BlackSunJamie]

I am 45 and have begun the process of getting a diagnosis. It's been interesting (and extremely painful) to look back over my life and see where autism would have explained everything that I was experiencing. Now looking forward, my world has turned upside down. I feel like I have to reframe my entire understanding of how I show up in every aspect of my life. It's painful and incredibly disorienting. My bag of tools is definitely empty right now. But there is so much hope that my weirdness and difficulty with life will have an explanation beyond me just being bad or weird or unlovable. I am excited to see what life is like when I understand myself better and don't have to hide who I am. Thank you for this content. It really helps!

[@JaneNewAuthor]

You'll get through this. Everything gets better, because your world is not constantly shifting under your feet.

[@royalone3009]

@@BlackSunJamie I’m 53 and not officially diagnosed but I’m right there with you. Empty cup and all. It explains so much about my life, from dating to jobs to burnout. So far all I have is an extreme anxiety diagnosis from a dr. It’s a start to understanding everything about me.

[@codybachschmid6665]

I’m 37, and in the same boat. Have you been struggling with skills regression? It is a strange phenomenon

[@BlackSunJamie]

@codybachschmid6665 Definitely. I keep thinking, "I used to be able to do this (whatever thing) better." Like meal planning or budgeting, etc. It is very weird.

[@angellicaderanged]

Growing up in the south US, I had a dear guy friend who always referred to me as having been "wired by drunk mechanics. ".... it was a really good way for me to phrase it until 20 years later, at 33 years old, when I found out im autistic. Like oh... that tracks too 😅

[@JessyWashington-gb4kp]

😂 I'm southern US as well. Of ALL places to be born autistic, the "unspoken rules" of the south are hard to understand. But there are many sweet people. I've been fortunate to have a community of people around me who encourage me. Most people I told my diagnosis to (I'm 38 and newly diagnosed) said... "Oh! That makes a lot of sense, actually!" 😅 Also most of the people I get along with ARE neurodivergent. It's OKAY for us to forget the other exists and have low maintenance relationships. I am a manager at a bigger bank's call center. I've been there 17years. I've found my 'tribe' in call centers. And they say I'm the best at "difficult personalities", because I AM one apparently. But that's ok with me. So many puzzle pieces clicked into place when I got my diagnosis! I have come to think of it as a superpower, since my job IS a special interest to me. 😅

[@HanjaKosh]

I still haven’t been officially diagnosed, but I have a feeling I have high functioning autism. I also felt like I wasn’t normal and had the same struggles trying to make friends or even have conversations. Now, learning about autism made me feel much better about myself. Before, I thought I had a disorder or something that was mentally impairing my mind. Now, I know it was never me, but the rest of society that doesn’t think or reason the same as I do. The reason why I struggled with friends is because I never really had any care to make friends. I only imitated the actions of finding friends to feel like I belong in society. After understanding autism, I stopped caring and now I feel very free. I can literally do whatever I want and not worry what other people think about me anymore.

[@andrewhorton481]

Oh my goodness...This is just 100% me. In particular the parts about having to reassess life goals, and not being able to carry on with my job. I am a self-employed business change consultant, and it's like i purposefully picked the WORST job imaginable. Every day is a struggle from start to finish. This content is absolutely essential, thank you! Like others have said, ive always known that i dont 'fit'. I feel like life is an endless party that i just want to leave...but can't. It is really helping to lean into all of this content and community

[@5attva]

Our minds are not simple. We have a million things on our list, but live in another fantastical world in our minds and go to amazing places, in more than one character. The things on our real world to do list never get done. Yes, our cognition is out the door on those. Lol. Also, our list skyrocketed, because we cannot say no, have no boundaries so everyone wants help or something. I literally feel like a transhuman.

[@MarkieMark229]

Thank you Orion. Your videos and advice truly do make this journey a little bit easier.

[@izze7618]

I’m female who has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, a few of my siblings have as well. A couple weeks after my diagnosis I thought, it’s interesting how different I still am from those siblings that have ADHD. I started watching your videos and Taylor from mom on the spectrum and am realizing the difference with me might actually be autism. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening my eyes to this information, it has done so much for me in such a small amount of time. I keep finding more about myself the more I research.❤❤❤

[@dinygijsberts704]

Orion , you did it again , explain all the struggles in daily life for a late diagnosed autist and provide solutions to make it at least a little bit better for us ❤❤❤❤ 🤜🏻🤛🏻👍🏻 keep up the good work !

[@tdmmnrdrk2830]

Thank you 🙏💝it is very informative. I am married to lovely soul almost for 25 years who happened to be noticed at very late age to be autist, by me. He was then more than 55.. We really had to go through some turbulent years after the official diagnosis. The both sides families approached to the diagnosis very superficially saying this many years he had lived without knowing so what the big deal was! Any way I would still marry him even if I knew it he was autist. Exercising and light antidepressants and meditation are really helpful. How to live with an autist needs to be studied too, not only protect the autist but the one who lives with him/her. Thanks again.

[@virginiadavidson7862]

@@tdmmnrdrk2830 I'm coming to the conclusion that my husband is "on the spectrum." I know he would not go for a diagnosis, he wouldn't want even to talk about the possibility of being autistic. But I know his *character* after being married 46 years to him, and it helps me understand *why* he does some of the things he does. Often clueless to my needs Unable to get the nuances of my perspective Fixated on a point--say, issues of modesty or diet--to almost an extreme Monopolizes conversation and interrupts a lot Hours and hours alone in his study, researching history and news, then wanting to talk about what is interesting to *him* and very little patience to hear from me--or he turns my viewpoint into an argument...and so on. It's not about me. Surely, it's not about me.

[@aroset]

I'm currently developing an excel database to begin my first ACTUAL data tracking of my self, life, triggers and routines. Just got diagnosed at 40 as Audhd and the sense I was just born and now get to learn how I work is great... If I even knew what the hell was going on. It feels like 40 years of storming with now only understanding I can learn how to build my own cabin to keep safe. My data tracker is so vital to me cos I'm autistically blind to myself, but also historically. It's overwhelming.

[@SunnySunshineField]

This video has so much amazing practical advice. THANK YOU! You are like my big brother clueing me in! 😊❤❤❤

[@Arnie-uc1jv]

Ooo-boy! Just in time, Orion! Three months ago yesterday you introduced me to this world of late-diagnosed autistic. I’m floundering a bit this weekend. OK -floundering a whole lot! I’m going to listen to this on a work trip out of town tomorrow. Thanks!

[@Sedgar232]

Thanks for this video Orion. I got my diagnosis about 2 months ago and things have been harder for me ever since. Being diagnosed at 54 is really making me rethink my entire life, but this video gave me some good pointers on where to even begin reorganizing my life

[@FenstarDeLuxe]

Great video, thanks Orion. Family are a funny beast for sure. My local family are in all denial about the fact that clearly it's more than just me who's autistic. I found out recently that the UK branch of our family is full of autistic folks and are very accepting. My late diagnosis was an eye opener for me, but also such a relief. Big love to anyone navigating this.

[@carolschiffler6271]

You channel is such a game-changer for those of us with late-life diagnosis. So much in every one of them that I can relate to. I especially liked the point you made about exercise - I have had soooo many problems trying to establish a routine like everyone else has. I do love nature photography, working in the garden, and horses (special interest since I was in grade school). I need to work more of these things into my weekdays because maybe those are the ways I get my exercise. In fact this past weekend I took my first horseback riding lesson (at the age of 67 - really, really late life diagnosis). I had been having a very dysregulated past few days, but everything changed after that lesson. Now I understand why that worked when staring at that very dusty set of weights I bought awhile back just makes me feel tired and unmotivated. Love your content!

[@Awakenedkarolina]

Hi Carol. I’m Karen, also very late diagnosed at 64. I live in BC 🇨🇦. Where are you?

[@rebeccaburnell9319]

While my interest in horses has subsided to a "normal" (?) level and been replaced by other special interests, everyone was very perplexed about me when I was a kid. I was obsessed with horses and played being a horse every recess until I was 13, wrote a whole series of novels about a herd of mustangs starting at age 9... but people were never involved (except as a threat to run away from). I had no interest in interacting with a horse "like humans do." I was recognized as a kid who was a decent artist, but all I drew was horses, and horses in human-free landscapes. It hurt my brain to even try to draw one with a fence in the background, lol. One birthday, my mom bought me a helmet so I could take English saddle riding lessons. I was old enough to know to keep my anger and distress hidden, but I felt so misunderstood, and was angry that she had used my birthday as something to push me to get involved in something I had no interest in being involved with. Don't get me wrong - it was amazing to be given access to interacting with a living, breathing horse, but... I didn't want to learn how to ride (and certainly didn't want to ride someone *else's* horse - I think I felt I wasn't allowed to develop a relationship with someone else's horse?), except in that it would allow me to spend time around horses when I knew I was never going to be allowed to *have* a horse of my own. ... but I will still absolutely celebrate YOUR first lesson of course! It doesn't matter what age you are, what matters is that it's what you want... and it sounds like it's going to do incredibly helpful, regulating things for you. ♥ Edit - OH WOW, I've just realized about my mom & the helmet... she... DID listen to me. I think where "I'm not interested in horses with humans" came up regularly, was in things like Dallas being popular at the time, where "it was supposed to be interesting to me because there were horses" and I'd be "yeah, but it's not about horses, it's about people who dress up like COWBOYS when they interact with horses. The horses are just there so they can be cowboys." AND: my parents took me to see the Lipizzaner stallion show when it came to town and I loved it (the humans were irrelevant because at least to me, the focus was on the horses' beauty and grace and athleticism; the humans were irrelevant and faded from focus). Mom had me take English saddle lessons. She knew I wasn't interested in being a cowgirl. jeez, another layer of healing & forgiveness for my parents, unlocked...

[@Dancestar1981]

Yay you’ve found what activities bring you joy well done

[@cowsonzambonis6]

WOW I needed this video!!! Late self-diagnosed as of a year ago, and I’m struggling with all of these things. Thank you for the effort you put into supporting this community!!

[@grandy_rho]

I was actually looking up "learning to say no" on the library's website earlier today and then you said "trouble saying no". Thank you very much for this video

[@Dancestar1981]

I find it difficult too

[@autisticjenny]

I look forward to this video Orion...great topic for your audience. Thank you for all you do on this channel...and with a sense of humor. I love that.

[@TherensForge]

Diagnosis in my 40s was life changing. 6 years later, I'm still trying to work out what my autism means. Loving your videos mate. I'm also a loud shirt Autistic Aussie bloke. Thanks for helping me during my research journey. ❤

[@Lybmry]

This video is like saving my life. I really really needed this one more than ever. I believed my whole life I was alone. I am discovering i am a kind of normal person. When i was young there were not such interest and datas about the topic and all my autistic traits were took even by me, separately. I am 40 and i am discovering my condition and this specific video is accurate speaking to me. I have no words to express my gratitude. For me and my closest people.

[@86PKG]

You, sir, are a delight to watch! Thank you, I'm hoping to get my diagnosis and I am 40. At this point, it would make LESS sense if I was NOT an Autistic person. I resonate with so many things I had never even realized was Autistic characteristics. I thought it was just ME. I mean, yes, it's me, but WHY it's me makes so much more sense knowing it's because I'm Autistic. Thank you so much for this video. I am learning so many things and this will help!

[@annassromova4197]

You know it's going to be an easy day for doing chores when Orion uploads! Headphones in and ready to let my hands do the cleaning while the brain focuses on autism tips. ❤😂

[@YrelChi]

Embracing my "late" diagnosis (been one year) has recently brought me the most profound joy!! Thank you for having words for what I am unable to articulate!! Everything you said is soooo True!

[@DemFoam]

I can relate to every single point on this list. These are great solutions that can help you accept yourself and your diagnosis and live a more regulated life. Wow, thank you for sharing this information! My eyes were really opened to the fact that I do keep special interests from myself bc I have other adult responsibilities, and it makes me sad, depressed, and, yes, exhausted. I really could focus more on the several I have right now, lol, and maybe make a loose schedule for them. I appreciate having access to this channel and family so much! Highest gratitude to you, Orion! ✨️🌟⭐️🌈♾️

[@Dancestar1981]

Sad isn’t it time to give yourself permission to indulge in them

[@AnEcstaticFox]

I have very recently been diagnosed with autism, and finding your channel has been a blessing. I'm also Australian so I find I resonate with your mannerisms and way of speaking too. You explain things so clearly that I haven't been able to properly process yet. I am on my journey to discovering my "new" self (or embracing what has always been 'me'), so thanks for what you're doing, and thank you for being you!

[@pikmin4743]

thank you, Orion. this was all explained so well and so many of these are deeply relevant to me right now. and the jokes are especially appreciated 💚

[@mikaeljacobsson1437]

I "told the world" when i got my diagnosis. It was important to me. It was not difficult or negative to get diagnosed. It was like finding you way home. I support any choices people make. There is a different story between every diagnosis and different needs on how to approach it all.

[@SuperGingerBickies]

Orion, thank you for saying what I want to tell people now ... and what I've always wanted to say to people for years. After nine years, it is still like going through a cellar full of endless shelves of cold case files looking for clues. It's validating having that diagnosis on paper. The reason is that, until 2022, my small circle of trusted friends and caregivers (including my fiancé, my parish priest - both passed away - and my GP) were sworn to secrecy because I kept it from my narcissistic, abusive mother until she died. After she died, help and support came slowly, but at least it came. I'm grateful for small mercies.

[@AceReviewing]

I appreciate this video a lot, I’m 22 and finally got diagnosed with autism this year.

[@TradingPantheonNasirTrades]

Thank you for this video and the auditory processing video, I’m happy a couple of my requests were heard hopefully because other people made the same ones.

[@chloepekel]

I gave up trying to get people to understand everything I feel, all I ask is they believe me when I express how I feel.

[@simplypositiveme]

I'm stuck between self diagnosis and official diagnosis. 😮 and I've already gotten " everyone is on the spectrum, so why pursue official diagnosis." (Sigh)

[@InterDivergent]

I feel as if anyone who says "everyone is on the spectrum", that they themselves might actually be on it and are potentially denying their own diagnosis. I'm self diagnosed, mainly due to the expense of getting a formal diagnosis. I also have Klinefelter Syndrome, and appear to exhibit traits of both Male and Female Autistic symptoms, therefore I feel as though my diagnosis might be significantly more difficult as a result. Don't let others dismiss your self diagnosis. I believe it is important to know where we are in life so that we can deal with it appropriately. Following a guidebook on how to operate a Windows system when you're using an Apple, for example, simply does not work.

[@aroset]

I find the response "Actually that's not true, and people who say that often believe it's normal and it's not. If you feel that way, you may want to think that over." shuts em up real quick.

[@Discovery3116]

My therapist told me this to help keep think through it: Why do you want a diagnosis? What are you going to do with it? Because of the significant financial cost involved, do a cost benefit comparison. Often people seeking diagnosis either want to confirm it to themselves or use it to access services (if they are younger). Where I am, there are really no services to access, so is it worth the time and expense to have it “official “. And finally at least in my case, it doesn’t change what I am able to do in therapy. So we can still work through my specific challenges without formally classifying them. Hope this helps! Do what’s right for you!

[@birgittnlilli9726]

Clearly not everyone is on the spectrum. I got a diagnosis because I always had that feeling I am different and something is a bit off with me. I was so happy and relieved when I was diagnosed, because after some research everything fit perfectly like a puzzle and I am not faulty or bad or dumb, I am autistic and this I can accept.

[@jakke1975]

@@simplypositiveme I've been told the same, even by professionals, but trust me, pull through with the official diagnosis. New doors of support will open. Even if you don't need them immediately, it'll be there the moment that you do.

[@1MadDadinNE]

Just wanted to say two things about this: #1 Watch most of your content w/ the NT wife listening and this was one of your vids that had a lot of "pause n discuss" moments so thank you for that. #2 This video is also one of your pieces that left me really interested in what the "unedited, unwatchable" version looks/sounds like. Maybe sometimes doing the "clean" and then posting the "precut" later is an idea for you to ponder?? Thanks again for your content and the work that goes into it. ✌️❤️🔥✊

[@ZollyMonsta]

Thanks Orion. I really needed to watch this tonight and it popped up in my feed. I was diagnosed with adhd at 50 in Feb and I’m now waiting for an assessment for autism at 51. My son has just been diagnosed also with ADHD and I’ve been struggling to explain this all to my employer over the last couple of weeks (as I did after my adhd diagnosis). Your videos help me greatly and I appreciate knowing that I am ‘normal’ and not broken. Grant in Wellington, New Zealand.

[@LilyMunstar0223]

You're brilliant!! So glad I found your channel! I'm 39, dx'd about 2 years ago. But not really had anything explained to me. Watching mom on the spectrum and you the last few days have helped me so much!! I've got wonderful doctors. Not they're learning with me, and I'm one step ahead usually. Thank you for going "unhinged" in a public video!!!! You've given me so much validation and happiness, after a really extra rough few weeks. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 😊

[@vernamu.]

I think I need to start my every day with this video

[@barbaradoye1989]

Thank you, Orion. Your thoughts and ideas are really great ones! I am grateful for the hard work you have put into your videos and into the community. I know your job must be incredibly hard sometimes. You are truly the star of this show! Take care, my friend.

[@darbydelane4588]

Brilliant video. Thank you, O.

[@Digthebunn]

Hi i just got my diagnosis today after waiting for a year and a half honestly i was so nervous but i now have the diagnosis of autism!!! 🎉❤

[@josephineramirez2826]

Thank you Orion!

[@samiko6091]

Disregulation... there's a research topic. Perceived or actual rejection and/or errors and/or failure ... textures Thanks again 👍

[@arthurlavigne9859]

I got my officail diagnosis at 3 days before my 60th birthday. At first is was great, I was feeling my life made sense and then three months later it all came crashing in and my sense of self went for clear to "who the hell am I?" Orion steps help but it's still wild ride.

[@JoseBloodthurst]

I'm recently diagnosed at 34, after extensive childhood trauma and making the wrong decisions my whole life the overwhelming stress of getting out of the hole I've dug makes me debate not even trying. I have no family, no support, never felt loved or accepted. I hurt for my children.

[@jessewood3196]

Sorry to hear you are struggling. I just found the same thing out at 33 so I can relate somewhat. It's been hard to fully appreciate all the ways life could've been different if I could've found this out earlier but at least it's something now. Good luck to you!

[@mindyunmuted]

Be gentle on yourself. 45 and recently diagnosed. This community is very supportive. Hugs to you!

[@AlwaysAutistic]

Another excellent video Orion! Speaks so much to my journey and has given me thoughts and ideas for my own channel as I continue to explore my own Late Diagnosed Autism.

[@Rosiefieldsa]

My favorite exercises are light saber fighting, mixed martial arts, and Brazilian Jiu-jitsu. These activities help with coordination, learning to fall safely and not getting injured when running into things.

[@Dancestar1981]

Plus keep you fit and are fun I wonder if you could start a club like those who do medieval reenactment sessions

[@Taurusboy07]

Loving it. You are the man!!!!! Thanks for sharing this information. I have been told that I am on the spectrum my professionals. I have taken a few test and they all said that I am autistic.

[@BadNessie]

16:11 is such an important part. And I would even suspect that a late diagnosed person would not even just quit their current work situation because of their recently acquired diagnosis, their current work situation might even be the reason they started digging and looking for the reason for their struggles in the first place. I don't have an official diagnosis at this point but it's very, VERY likely I'm on the spectrum. And I struggled wildly with a new work situation that I chose for myself. I listened to my own instincts that told me things were very wrong, so I switched departments. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. And it made me look into reasons for my struggles. I'm sure I'm not the only one for whom it went this way.

[@Ponk_80]

I find it funny that we as autistic people want as short and concrete an explanation as possible, but we ourselves tend to over explain everything.

[@robscovell5951]

😅😂😅😢

[@cl1xor]

@@Ponk_80 this is actually one of the reasons i’m in the process of getting a formal diagnosis. In my work life (also personal) i like to explain in great detail. Also the reason there are lot of issues with ‘communication problems’, it’s like neurotypical coworkers speak another language.

[@screenfiendnz]

Perfect timing, thank you!

[@Pitway_1.0]

Your videos helped me discover, understand and self diagnose autism. Not that it made me an expert on the subject or anything, but they helped me finding my way, or finding myself you could say. You are not the only content creator covering the autism subject, many others helped me just as much. My self diagnosis led me to an official diagnosis, I'm aware I was very lucky despite being diagnosed only at the age of 29, because the process was quite efficient and quick compared to the usual journey it is or can be. And for that I want to thank you with all my compassion, you and all the people participating in the spread of knowledge and awarness. Now I know why I have suffered so much. Now I feel like I am suddenly granted the power to understand, at least a little for starters, and hopefully more and more as time goes on, my own pain. I'm sure you can very well imagine the relief it was for me to be able to understand and slowly accept that I'm not an error of nature or a failure that needs to be cast aside, hidden or worse. That I am a human being that belongs to this world. I have the feeling that I held my breath for 29 years, thanks for the fresh air man.

[@SOLIDbpm]

Really needed this this morning, thank you Orion. 🥰

[@emilythompson1484]

Perfect timing with this video, thanks for your time and effort :) so glad there's more people educating and sharing their experiences.

[@brandonfbomb_2327]

To expound upon the employment chapter. In the United States, "worker's rights" don't exist. Show up or don't work here is the mentality... I've been an autistic cook/electrician for 30 years. I'm great watching horror movies coz I've trained myself not to flinch.. So there's that

[@jessewood3196]

@@brandonfbomb_2327 This comment is so accurate. Working in the US with autism is so brutal. I'm sure there are some places that are better to work than others but there's a lot of hostile places to work as a neurodivergent person in America. I'd also add that it's common for customers/consumers to be upset and project their frustrations onto whichever service worker they can, and people with autism can be targets to that type of person. Then for me personally, I'd ruminate over their bad mood being unleashed on me for weeks instead of just moving on. Especially if a customer is upset when you're genuinely doing ever you can to please them and are masking so hard to try to make them more comfortable.

[@brandonfbomb_2327]

@@jessewood3196 one word that triggers a memory will cause me to feel a physical "overheating". I could never work front of house, at least the food doesn't hate me...

[@brandonfbomb_2327]

The trade off for the not flinching and holding the job is daily shutdown... Not usually a healthy process

[@aroset]

At least you gotta have great taste in horror flicks right?

[@ScottJohnson-tk7ql]

Thanks for the videos, Orion, keep up the good work!

[@andykerslake]

Thanks

[@milomrebloc1770]

This video is jam packed with nuggets of wisdom. I’m going to watch again and again and take notes!

[@nissene1]

Great talk! Love how I've never understood why or how I was different, always searching for an answer to my challenges, and here they are. I don't really know if I need a diagnose this late in life. I'm generaly happy with my life, my partner, my job and my family, but it's a revelation that will probably help me in getting to grips with my hang-ups, and procrastination. Thank you, Kelly!

[@crystalclear6864]

I am neurotypical with sensory/ fatigue issues and this video is great for telling me to look at my problems and find a strategy and embrace who i am. Thanks . Starting a trigger tracker and put on big girl pants😊

[@fdfrancisdaniele]

I'm 40. Diagnosed ASD last friday. Thank you for your help in my selfdiscovery process.

[@OrrinWhitten]

Thanks Orion! I’m really enjoying your videos and podcasts! They definitely resonate with me and I routinely get “aha” moments from them! I’m currently self diagnosed, but my official assessment is in about 2 weeks! Hello imposter syndrome 😂. I’m gonna make it!!

[@Catlily5]

How did your assessment go?

[@OrrinWhitten]

@@Catlily5 sorry for the late response! I am not good at finding comments and stuff on KZbin! My assessment went very well! I was of course hit with a good dose of imposter syndrome beforehand 🤣 but once I got into it, that all went away and he said I passed all my autism tests with flying colors😃

[@Catlily5]

@@OrrinWhitten Congratulations 🎉

[@ernestinegrace4593]

Very helpful. Thank you Orion 😊

[@naominaomi937]

Thanks for this video, it explains so much about how I've been feeling as an adult dealing with this for 40 years and not knowing why I was different and felt this way!

[@tristan4777]

Thanks for the video.

[@kellhalla5301]

Thank you Orion, every point you made validated some part of my life. I have only been diagnosed this year at the age of 50. I am one of those girls who flew under the radar. Its been a rough year...but this helps me see a form or structure i can work to in the pursuit to improve the quality of my life. Thank you .

[@mammajamma4959]

I live in a place where diagnosis is unattainable. Hey anyone out there reading this, if you are qualified to diagnose autism, consider taking a heat wave break and come to Alaska to work a couple months of the summer, it was 65 F today, perfect weather! Orion, Im 95% sure I am autistic, 65 yrs old, still trying to help my 28yr old son find a place to be self sufficient. I have watched many of your streams, I think Im in burnout, I cant really find myself. I cant proclaim late Dx because I cant get one, but Im so tired. sorry, not on you, but maybe a stream for us out here who cannot get a Dx but we know we are. If I proclaim it people will think Im being a drama queen....lol. Thanks so much for all you do. You are the first member of my tribe, we are a tiny bunch.

[@JCGomez-f2e]

Self diagnosed a few days ago, and your videos have been very helpful.

[@laura.bseyoga]

Perfect timing with your video, Orion - I just got my diagnosis today after waiting well over 2 years! Time to process now...

[@Catlily5]

Congratulations 🎉

[@laura.bseyoga]

@@Catlily5 Thank you! It's been a very long time coming

[@Autistic_Lately]

Orion, you speak to my soul. Your work has literally transformed my life and I hope and pray that I will someday be just as adept as you are at serving the Autistic community. I watched hours and hours of your videos under a previous identity when I learned I was Autistic late last year. I started this channel to add my voice to the community, and am still finding your content the absolutely most relatable and valuable. Thank you 🙏-Rachel

[@PhyllisGlassup2TheBrim]

I'm a 69 year old woman. Through my life I've been told I was out of control and needed a good hiding. I got plenty of those from my late father. Then I was diagnosed as neurotic, hysterical, needing tranquilisers, then suffering from PMT and needing more medication. Then I was apparently suffering from depression and given brain medication. When I was 62, a perceptive GP arranged for me to be assessed and it turns out I am on the spectrum with Asperger's and something that used to be called PDA (pathological demand/discipline avoidance). When I got my diagnosis, I could look back and my life and it was like everything was clear. "Ahhhh so *that's* why". It hasn't changed anything in reality.. However, it means I can mention my autism and explain that because of it I won't recognise social cues and if I start rattling on about something, they have to tell me if they need to go, or wanted to say something, otherwise I'll keep talking lol. I say I've lived a life of conflict and confusion. The only time I've been happy in my own skin is when I've lived alone. I am a recluse. I socialise on *my* terms, and when I do, I'm cheerful and chatty and make people laugh. But if I need to go back to my home and animals and seclusion. Being autistic sucks.

[@BLedsworth]

" Stars of Orion " I like that 👍✌️

[@Dancestar1981]

Me too

[@laurenbina4188]

Always love your work. Thank you ❤ Sweet shirt btw! I like the loose brush strokes of the leaves.

[@jbrubin8274]

After my late diagnosis, telling family about my diagnosis was so hard. Harder still was the amount of the rejection that I faced. Loved ones who were unwilling to accept it, dismissing me entirely. “You’ve been like your whole life.”, “Just suck it up.”, “It’s your problem!”, “This is too hard for me.” etc. The mocking began, when I asked for assistance items, I was accused of being selfish. I’m still trying to figure myself out, completely alone, but slowly starting to build up my own support system. Along with making adjustments to my surroundings and working on the things I need to improve upon. Education oneself is critical but I’ve learned that I can’t expect that from others and accept it. Thank you for this video, I always walk away feeling like I’m not as alone as I currently am. 🙏💯

[@rita.amstlv]

Hello Orion, great stuff that you do. Thank you ever so much for advocating for ND people 🕊️👍🌠. Personally had a good week: I went to the police and told everything about the stalking that is going on for years. And also who is responsible. It is such a good feeling to take the matters in own hands! Also I am now documenting the stalking and bullying stuff. Long live the smartphone 👍. They will be very sorry that they choose me to try to break. I will never, ever give up. And now I am pissed. So very motivated to document the sick stuff that those pathetic bullyies do and their faces and cars. Long live the smartphone😁. Thank you for uplifting content

[@rrosiya]

Excited to watch this! Thank you!

[@victorialawhon2251]

Just discovered your site! Got diagnosed a few years ago. I'm 61 now. Sorry to say my parents had no idea what was wrong with me, nor did they do anything to find out. I understand there actually*were* parents who advocated for their kids in the '70s.

[@Catlily5]

If you did not have a speech delay you would not have been diagnosed back then. Even kids with speech delays were missed.

[@jillianoldfield2300]

So true. As a little girl growing up in the 1960s and 1970s​, who could sometimes pretend to be normal, there would have been no way for me to be diagnosed. @@Catlily5

[@LaraSidra]

Thanks Orion. Re-evaluating my life goals is something I hadn't thought to do consciously yet. Much appreciated suggestion!

[@Imbelievinginfaith]

Thank you for how you described educating yourself and “aha moments” at first I was so excited every time I had an “aha” moment! Recently I’ve gotten excited but then after start doubting if it’s ridiculous that I’m watching all these videos and the validity of autism and it being an explanation for struggles in my life. It made me feel reassured even for just a moment and hopefully will make it easier for me to try to allow myself to revel in this knew knowledge.

[@johnfigueroa6266]

I love this guy. He make it so clear by God’s grace all the challenges and ideas to remedy these challenges and create safeguards to navigate life for someone being autistic. Splendid!!!…😊💯❤️

[@BiskyWater]

Just wanna say thanks so much for making this video, it's exactly what i needed to see today. Also it's really nice to watch an Autistic creator from my part of the world, makes me feel less alone! Great to hear that familiar aussie accent and humour 😄 keep it up and cheers from NZ!

[@catlifechannel3886]

Thank you very much for this video. Very helpful. I experience many of the challenges you’ve mentioned.