Out of the FOG and into the CLEAR! |Shannon Petrovich LCSW

[@bluangl9wingman]

I am 66 years old. I only came out of the fog a couple months ago when I started watching your videos. Thank you 🙂

[@torresd61]

Mark Paladino I was 55! Better late than never 💖

[@melodymacken9788]

This makes me feel at home, I'm 61. Touché to all of us. We did so good. Hi from New Zealand. Best wishes.

[@jannlewandowski5540]

We are all the same age. Now we can LIVE! 👍❤️

[@rjlacroix3334]

your channel is very very helpful. I'm very grateful. I'm clearly in the FOG upon no contact .Through this video you just gave me a wonderful gift and solid reference to follow my compass forward . many thanks !

[@robyncampbell2917]

Im 61 and have came out of the fog another great video shannon 🌸💖🌷

[@lindaw.1568]

Excllent advice, especially about not getting stuck in learning about abusive relationships, moving on to learning about healthy relationships, and other positive things! Your delivery is so strong and affirmative on this video! Is truly is inspiring and filled with hope! Thank you so much!! 💕

[@misstp7781]

I agree the fog clearing means time to move on, repair and rebuild. I have decided to return to school and finish getting my degree.

[@artgirl7480]

Miss TP YAY for you!!! You go, girl!!

[@tammyfoster-sapanara8043]

Good video. The first two months out of a toxic, abuse relationship is tough. But you are spot on as to self care. Once you realize how free you are after closing and locking that door everything is amazing again. Bars and dating web sites are not the place for people like me who are looking for an honest relationship. I know some people meet the person of their dreams that way but the percentage is small in my world. I did the whole staying locked up, watching TV and feeling sorry for myself but today I realize it was necessary for me to heal. Now 6 months NARC free I am looking forward to doing new things and putting myself out there to potentially meet a great guy. I am taking a class at my gym that is challenging and I have been looking into some other activities that are new and fresh. There is life after abuse. It took me a while to love myself again and to see a world minus his toxic personality. I am free. You can be as well.

[@ludmilamaksimova5516]

BraveGirl WithAttitude thanks for your comment, Im glad for you, I almost there💕👍⚘

[@rjlacroix3334]

thank you for your courage and sharing, this is my exact goal as well , all the best !

[@jerrys9226]

Awareness is what helped me get out of the fog. For many of us, we had no idea what a narcissist was. It’s really so insidious. It wasn’t until about 6 months after the divorce/discard that I stumbled across the symptoms for narcissism when I was doing my own self-therapy, and then in an instant it all clicked. That was a year and a half ago and I’ve been feeling better ever since. I’ve probably watched hundreds of hours of videos, but it has all helped. I know you are not supposed to blame yourself for what these reptilian monsters have done to us , but one of my key mistakes was not having firm boundaries. Had I done that, the relationship would have ended after 8 months instead of 10 years.

[@pamelalawhon3536]

Jerry S - same. All exactly the same w/me - Hundreds of hours of KZbin videos. Love Dr. Les Carter, Dr. David Hawkins, Melanie Tonia Evans, & Shannon Petrovich. I HAD clear boundaries! Didn’t make any difference, abusive people don’t care about boundaries. It was give up and get out. All came down to four years w/him - two years of a magical courtship, a year and a half of marriage, w/him becoming more and more controlling and me becoming more and more sick. Awful, awful stuff. I am a strong person and it has about taken me down.

[@jerrys9226]

pamela lawhon , Yes, Les Carter is great, Sarah speaks, Peace and harmony, Angie Atkinson are all good too. Isn’t it amazing how all these monsters are the same! Male and female.

[@pamelalawhon3536]

PERfect for today! Great delivery of Truth about the FOG. After nearly 4 months of being paralyzed by it due to the shock of realizing who he was underneath all that phony charm, I must start moving into the CLEAR. I have been hurt beyond belief - & still love Dr. Jekyll but Mr. Hyde has an unacceptable ability to own his wrongdoings. Sad. (Basic life skill, I thought we all had it.) I walked away for self-preservation but thought I would never recover. I have hope now. Thank you.

[@artgirl7480]

pamela lawhon you will recover and become an even better and stronger version of yourself!

[@pamelalawhon3536]

Art Girl thank you. Hope so. It’s hard

[@melodymacken9788]

I am so sorry you have to go through this hell. But you know what, what he put you through is not love. Love is many things, but this is not love. Just breath and take small, tiny steps forward and be your gorgeous self. Life chucks painful lessons at us and it totally sucks. Surround yourself with kind, caring people. Be kind to yourself. Best wishes.

[@artgirl7480]

pamela lawhon I still remember the day 16 years ago when I realized the man I married was not who he had portrayed himself to be. I sat in a chair & just stared into space like in shock. I knew I was in trouble because I knew his personality disorder did not equate with a good, positive marriage relationship. That was 16 yrs ago. It was just a few months into the marriage. I totally thought I’d be leaving and here it’s been 16 rough years later. Don’t be me.

[@melodymacken9788]

@@artgirl7480 . You brave, brave, courageous girl. Your still standing and telling your story. Touché to you. Best wishes.

[@jg5930]

Thank you! 🙏🏻💕 I have been isolating myself a bit. I need to move forward now.

[@debbiesmith5513]

Awesome! I'm coming out of the fog!

[@jannlewandowski5540]

I was in a fog for a LONG TIME. I never became bitter toward anyone. I KNEW who and what to look out for. After 12.8 years, you learn a lot. Be good to yourself!

[@denisewittman975]

I’m 62 and finally coming out of the fog. Thank you for your work.

[@eaumartineau7890]

I love your short direct suggestions

[@meera2531]

This is such a wonderful and hopeful video. Being in this clear space I can appreciate your message with clarity. I would like to recommend you do a video or videos on the kind of disclaimers toxic people make at the start of the relationship. This is something so subtle that most people would never realise they're being put under a kind of verbal contract or conditions which can be used to abuse and control them for years to come. I've heard a few in my time. Basically how to be aware of this subtle foundation laying for abuse to follow. Something to the effect that don't expect so and so good behaviour from me, I'm like this only, though I'm working at it, but no one's perfect. Like I have an ego and I'm a perfectionist or I don't ever cook, I don't enter the kitchen. I don't know how to iron or it could be anything. Or I don't even know how to make a sandwich. Or I don't do any domestic chores and I don't plan to either. I will never do childcare and please don't ask me to etc. I have so much going on at work etc that I could never chip into any of this. There are different things they may say. Also their sob stories at the start. Something to the effect of how cheated they have been, how those they helped have gone ahead of them, how their exes were all toxic and crazy and destructive and how sensitive and emotional they themselves are. That they have many/ unsolvable/ unnamed emotional problems. That they've been through a lot and all they want is a peaceful and stress-free life ahead. This last one is a big one cause it tends to be used to silence the partner's legitimate complaints and concerns in the future. They will keep saying I told you this right at the beginning. Then also the way some people are extremely manipulative wherein they will never get to something they said they will do and they will never pay you back if you pay for them etc and they will guilt you and make you feel horrible for expecting things back or they'll say you're keeping score or being petty etc. Also how this creates mental and emotional dissonance where your head and heart pull you in two separate directions. Your head says don't trust this person, but your heart overrules by saying but i love this person. I guess you did cover this point in your creep-o-meter video. Also another aspect where a narc or sociopath may lie to you initially and then after a few months choose to tell you the truth so as to cause tumult in your life and cause you distress and wherein you realise your trust is shattered and you try to trust a terrible person all over again and it's actually futile and not a worthwhile pursuit. So basically forms of gaslighting, disclaimers/ setups and sob stories by toxic people/ Narcissists and how these aid abuse and cause cognitive dissonance. Also perhaps a video on lying and maybe cheating. Sorry for the lengthy comment. Best regards ❤️

[@TherapistTalks]

Thank you for your thoughts and ideas; they really help guide my work and I'm happy to read them. What you're talking about is so true; the pre-manipulations are the foundation for all the manipulations to come. The creep-o-meter video talks about a lot of this and also the "Love-Bombing, Don't be Victim to the Vampire" but there are always more layers! As we share and more people learn, they really are safer and more prepared to walk away and not fall prey. And that's the mission; to help us all to keep our wise mind in the driver's seat so we can walk away when the clarity of any garbage comes to light in a relationship. Best to you, Shannon

[@meera2531]

@@TherapistTalks Thanks Shannon... I'll watch the other video. :) It's funny how many narcs, sociopaths and dismissive avoidants I've come across, thankfully without marrying any! Best, Meera

[@leighdixoncopeland]

Last night on a walk I passed by a small fishing boat in the parking lot of a Ramada Inn. It was painted camouflage and had some kind of structure built all around on top. I had to take a look. It had lights mounted all around facing down into the water. I guess that’s how you love bomb fish at night. The problem with red flags is that they are - perhaps by definition - those very things so exquisitely and knowingly crafted to bring me to the surface for the catch. Everything about the Golden Period had the exact opposite quality of fog; when she was around she blew the fog away, a fog of inadequacy and loneliness that hovered me forever. Suddenly things looked bright with sunlight. She was, like the fishing boat, a hi tech caricature of how to ‘catch’ love. She turned it into malicious man-trap so she could reliably hook all the supply she wanted floating in her dark and joyless night.

[@TherapistTalks]

You seriously need to write many books! :) Best too you, S.

[@leighdixoncopeland]

Thanks Shannon. I just need the inspiration. Keep posting!

[@jackiekittie6135]

I want my movie to be a hero’s journey toward VINDICATION and REDEMPTION. All the family members who sided with my mother joining in the triangulation to bully me.

[@artgirl7480]

Excellent video!!! Unfortunately, due to my age, I have decided to remain in Narc relationship and even if you choose to remain in the relationship, self care is essential! C...Creepo-meter L...Learning E...Embracing New Chapter in Life A...Awareness R...Rebuilding, Reenergizing, Rejuvenating Yourself

[@goodgracious6364]

You are never to old. You can free yourself at any age. Twenty years after my 1st divorce, I remarried in my late 50's to a man my age. I was looking forward to a life filled with peace and harmony, dispite some behavioral concerns I had about this man. But soon within my 2nd marriage, I realized that I had actually married a man not unlike my 1st emotionally abusive, detached husband. I got a divorce from my 2nd husband within a couple of grueling, exhausting years. However, my eyes are now open to the realization that I was a constant giver and had generally attracted men who were constant takers--narcissists. A very rude awakening for me. But I learned from those hard knocks and now I feel more alive and in touch with my authentic self. I will never again let any man impede upon my right to live in peace, productivity and loving kindness. You are never to old to reclaim your life and free yourself from the bondage created by disordered, narcissistic people.

[@artgirl7480]

Good Gracious My concern is financial. Even if I could find a position at my age, I don’t know if I would have the stamina to work 40 hours a week. I know my spouse would give me as little as possible & the divorce would be horrible.

[@goodgracious6364]

@@artgirl7480 - I understand that every situation is different and I'm not judging your choices. I feel your heart and strength and wish the best for you.🌟

[@poeticallyinclinedjayne9040]

❤ incredible reframes offered! & positive push to momentum forward with affirming directive: Live Life In The Clear! Ty! 🎁

[@TherapistTalks]

So glad this was helpful, Take good care of YOU! Best, Shannon

[@melodymacken9788]

Absolutely brilliant as always. Being kind to yourself is so important. That and slowing down was really helpful. Best wishes from nz.

[@mariebaptiste4194]

Thank you so much for your wisdom. God bless you

[@reetarhodes5433]

Refreshing knowledge! Thank you!!

[@denisf.1744]

Hi Shannon,i could relate to all this in ways from past i call traumas,and i took as embarasment,and a great deal of shame which was hard to deal with because i say being at the wrong place at the wrong time was why a lot of it happened,and i now realize was unavoidable,knowing i did try my best,keep more videos coming as i think can be helpfull to many people,love Denny😘🙏

[@heidiknapp2464]

Thanks for CLEAR, this is a wonderful guide line!!

[@allyson5712]

I really find your clear (no pun intended), concise videos so very empowering while I’m learning to live again after coming out of a very long marriage with a narcissist. The one thing I did not expect though is the lack of understanding and support from other family members. Some of my family members just don’t understand and don’t see what the big deal is and why I can’t just tough it out and live with him. It’s absolutely heartbreaking for me, and I feel I am backsliding into depression just as I was coming out of the FOG and learning to thrive instead of merely surviving. Do you have advice for me and others in that situation? I feel that others must have gone through some of the same opposition that I am experiencing.

[@TherapistTalks]

Absolutely, and it's heartbreaking; since the NPD is so good at having different personalities with different people, others may not see them for who they are at all, and may encourage you to continue to live in the destructive relationship. Keep taking care of you and surround yourself with those who understand and support the rebuilding, and rejuvenating you. Emotionally, and perhaps physically separate from those who don't support you. But most importantly, watch what YOU are saying to yourself in your own mind; are you berating yourself, guilting, or shaming yourself? If so, work through that as you're talking to you all day every day and that is more likely the source of your depression slide than what others say. Best, S.

[@allyson5712]

Shannon, I will heed your wise advice, monitor my self-talk, and try to stay strong. Going back to him is certainly not an option in my mind. Many, many thanks!!!

[@6473fr]

Thank you

[@odette8905]

Brilliant video. Thank you Shannon.

[@shewasinvolved5087]

Thankyou ❤

[@steveg3767]

I continue to look for honest advice and feedback from other’s who have experienced something similar. I am struggling on the path forward and would love to hear from others. Long story short, for almost 18 years, I have been married to someone who has narcissistic traits. Our marriage has been struggling for a few years now; about 2 months ago we attended our 19th marriage counseling session together. At that session I told my wife that somehow our marriage needs to drastically get better quickly, or I feel we need pull the plug and end our marriage since we have been going to marriage counseling for far longer than we probably should have been going; and not much, if anything, improved. Part of me was hopeful that this was going to be the warning shot and my wife would finally hear me; that she would finally understand that I am done with the narcissistic type of behavior, done with the mean comments, the high level of control, and being made out to feel like I am never doing the right thing, never doing it quickly enough, etc. Unfortunately, the few weeks after that counselling sessions things did not improve, they actually seemed worse. For example, one morning I started her car so it was warm for her when she left for work (which I do for her quite often). I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back, but she very rudely said “oh, thank you so much for everything you do”. One day I went and bought a snow shovel and salted and cleaned the ice from the sidewalk. Instead of getting any type of thanks or appreciation, she told me that it is so interesting that I had time to go to Dollar General (which is about 3 miles from our house) and buy a new shovel and salt. I got criticized for doing laundry and putting in on ‘her side’ of the bed and not having it moved off of the bed so she could lay down at night without having to touch laundry. I got criticized for having the space heater on in the living room. I got criticized for eating all the lasagna; when in fact I put it in a Tupperware container so she could take it in her lunch. I got questioned on going for a walk along the river. It was just relentless verbal attacks. By no means am I a perfect husband, I am far from it, and I have made plenty of mistakes, but I have always tried to be loving and supportive and take care of her and our kids. I have dealt with this type of narcissistic behavior for a very long time. Just another example, I recently learned why I was in severe pain for a couple of days this past summer; I was passing a 6mm kidney stone. While I was in pain, I got in a hot bath to try and alleviate some of the pain. I recall vividly her making a mean comment that I was in the bath while she was doing something for the kids. I have agonized over the decision for many months, and probably years now, but about 5 weeks ago I asked for divorce and have been moved out since that time. She said it wasn’t fair and that I blindsided her, even though we have attended those 19 marriage counseling sessions together; I reluctantly agreed to separation for now. For the last five weeks, I have been buried in loving texts, pictures of our kids and of some fun memories in the past, she sent me the wedding song that we danced too, she has been sending me quotes from the bible, she asked that I listen to various books on making marriages work, etc; she asked that I meet with our Deacon at church and attend a church marriage weekend retreat. She has buried me in a variety of, what I would consider ‘tactics’, to try and get me back home; she has thrown our vows in my face multiple times and said that I am destroying the kids by moving out. I have been holding strong and have not caved by moving back in; recently she has been all over the board with her comments and emotions. Seems silly talking about, but we own a car and a truck. For the last 5 weeks I have drove the truck and she has had the car. Roughly a week ago she said she wants the truck, which is no problem, but I asked her why; she said she doesn’t need to answer why, she just wants it. She said she plans on keeping the truck for a few weeks since its not fair that I got to drive it for a few weeks (I don’t know the intentions of this, other than some form of power play, or maybe knowing if she has the truck, I won’t be able to use it to do things I enjoy). She also seems to be getting controlling with the kids; she told me that I am the one who decided to leave them, so its not fair for me to ever get both of our kids overnight while she is alone, since she didn’t decide to leave. I reminded her that I didn’t leave the kids, that I only left her. Shortly after making these types of comments, she follows up with a load of very nice loving texts. This is all extremely hard for me, because she occasionally acts nice and says she is willing to try and change, but seems all over the place with her comments and emotions; I’m afraid I will fall back into the trap. Over the last few days she has attempted to be nice, although almost to the point of smothering because I have asked for time and space, but she seems to refuse to give that to me. Here recently she has been very frequently saying “I Love You”; almost over using the words. She has made multiple attempts to try and be affectionate, which in a normal circumstance would be fine, but not after we are separated. I worry greatly about our kids, I feel she is subjecting them to a ton of sadness and possibly emotional manipulation, with the intentions being of playing the victim card in front of the kids and trying to make them feel bad for her and make me out to look like the bad guy (she told me she is always crying in front of the kids…and even yesterday when I saw her she cried multiple times in front of the kids). Even though I asked for divorce, I still do not wish her unhappiness; I just want everyone to get along and be nice and supportive with everyone. To make matters even more frustrating, recently she told me she was offered a job in Michigan (about 5 hours from where we currently live in Ohio). I am settled here in Ohio now, have a good job here, etc. I am happy for her that she was offered the job, I know that is more what she wants to do versus her current job, so that part makes me happy; but come on, wanting to relocate now while we are separated. I feel like she is doing everything she can to try and make things difficult for me, especially with our 2 kids. It’s just very inconsistent, it can change by the day, or even by the hour; sometimes she is sweet and nice, then there are plenty of moments of comments and actions that just aren’t nice. I’m struggling on the path forward, so any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.

[@TherapistTalks]

Hi Steve, not sure you saw this response so here it is again; it certainly sounds like you're dealing with someone with narcissistic traits and that you've done all you can to make it work. It's also clear this is very complicated with two kids you obviously care for deeply. If not for the kids, I would probably say, 'run, don't walk, AWAY; far, far, AWAY! But with kids you have to work through this intentionally and carefully to put them first and to navigate to minimize the emotional damage to them. Hi Steve, it certainly sounds like you're dealing with someone with narcissistic traits and that you've done all you can to make it work. It's also clear this is very complicated with two kids you obviously care for deeply. If not for the kids, I would probably say, 'run, don't walk, AWAY; far, far, AWAY! But with kids you have to work through this intentionally and carefully to put them first, to minimize the emotional damage to them. With the manipulations and emotional games she's playing, I would be very concerned about this, and so I would encourage you to have your own therapist to help you decide what to do at each stage. You may be able to take her newfound motivation and create some boundaries to make it work, or to make the separation as healthy as it can be for all of you. Or it may already be untenable and you will need help navigating the ongoing separation and divorce. Whichever direction, you will need someone to walk through it with you. I wish you all the best. Let us know how it's working out. Best, Shannon

[@steveg3767]

@@TherapistTalks Hi Shannon, I greatly appreciate your response. I does make things very challenging with having two boys; I obviously love and care about them so much, and want to protect them and be actively involved in their lives, as I always have; this makes it challenging because that means I am in daily communication with my wife, and still see her most days. It is hard to break free, and she is not giving me the space I have asked for (constant texting, asking to do things as a family, etc). Over the years I have often wondered if I am truly ‘hearing’ my wife correctly, or if I am being too sensitive and putting too much weight on her tone, body language, or comments. I recently decided to record some conversations we have had. Here is a text message I sent her this past Thursday: “Just sharing my feelings….as I sit here and think about this weekend, it was really an unfair thing for you to do; I understand it is spring break, but you just scheduled this camping trip and decided to take the boys over a holiday weekend to spend time with your parents and sisters family. If I told you I was taking the boys tomorrow to go on a trip with my parents, and we will be back on Monday, I’m not sure you would be too happy with it. So, if I want to help the boys celebrate your birthday on Saturday, and if I want to see them on Easter, I am now forced to drive and hour and a half to your campsite and spend time hanging out with your parents, as well as your sister and her kids; knowing that really isn’t an enjoyable thing for me. It just really puts me in a tough spot. Not to mention you now having an interview in northwest Ohio, as well as the interview in Michigan, without ever talking with me about it. If I said I am moving 3-5 hours away and would like to bring the boys, not sure how accepting you would be of that. I always try to be very nice and understanding and just go with the flow, but often at my own detriment. I’m happy the boys are excited to go camping this weekend; I’m just not sure how fair it was for me.” Just to add some clarity, this past weekend (Easter weekend), she decided she was going to take our two boys on a camping trip with her parents and her sister and her kids. I have an audio recording of our conversation, which was very short because we got interrupted by our son, but couldn’t figure out how to attach it to this message (I’m not sure you can). Here response to my text was: “You are not going to unload a text on me, then not discuss it. You made me cry. Why do you try and make me feel bad and bring me down. I have asked you and I discussed the trip with you, and its not fair.” Our son interrupted the conversation, at this point, so I started attending to him. Personally, I thought my text was very nice and fair, but somehow, she took it as me unloading on her and trying to make her feel bad. I just don’t understand. Another example, about 6 days ago I was talking to her about how our son’s braces are scratching his cheek. I said I would take time off of work to get him into the orthodontist for an adjustment. During this conversation, she was lying in bed, I asked her how her most recent doctor’s appointment went regarding a bruise she had on the back of her leg. She started crying and said hopefully she is dying. She said she has nobody to share things anymore with me being gone. The last few days she has been nice….although multiple texts about wanting to do things together, which can be frustrating when I have asked for space. It is such a roller coaster ride and makes things so confusing and hard to make a final decision on whether to divorce or give it another try. I can honestly say, I feel I do love my wife and care about her, but not in love with her, nor physically attracted to her; just trying to go about this in the most loving, caring, and supportive way; and to be certain I am making the best decision and having the least impact on the kids.

[@steveg3767]

I wish there was a way to attach audio clips; I have some recent recordings of conversations I have had with my wife and I just find them to be frustrating and worrisome, as the messages make me question if she is truly willing to change or respects what I am asking for; it seems like it always comes back on me and what I need to do. If anyone has any interest or willingness to listen to a few audio clips and give me your thoughts, that would be much appreciated.

[@steveg3767]

Please help…just an update, I am approximately 3 months into separation. We have 2 children together, of which I see daily and am very active in their lives (coach their baseball teams, etc); therefore, I communicate with and see my wife daily as well, although I have tried to greatly reduce the amount of communication. Right or wrong, not too long ago I decided to record most of our verbal communications. So badly wish I could attach audio recordings to get everyone’s opinion. If anyone knows of a way, or would be willing to let me email them to you, please let me know. With that being said, I know how her attitude and comments make me feel, so to this day I don’t know why I am trying to justify what my heart and mind are telling me I want, which is to divorce. To make things even more challenging, at an already challenging point of my life, I recently found out that I have to have emergency surgery at OSU next week for some kidney stone issues. I thought this was something I should tell me wife and kids, even though we are separated. She immediately said she will take off of work and drive me to the hospital and wait with me before I go into surgery; then she would drive back the following day and wait in my room with me and drive me back (the tough part is I have no family nearby, my closest family member is 3.5 hours away). Too be honest, I don’t want her to bring me to the hospital; it may sound mean, but I don’t want to sit with her for hours on the day of my surgery and be subjected to the guilt and comments. She has already started in on me that I should move back home for at least the week after the surgery, so I am around her just in case something goes wrong. This has been bothering me for the last 24 hours, so this evening I mentioned to her that I would just like to drive myself to the hospital on Tuesday, then she can drive over Tuesday evening if she would like too. I explained to her that I have to leave by 7:30 and check in by 9am, then it could be anywhere from 3-6 hours before I get called back into surgery, then the surgery is 3 hours, then if I am in post op for an hour or so; in all reality she would just be waiting around all day, so there is no point of taking the day off of work and having the kids not go to school. Her response absolutely floored me….I wasn’t expecting it, even after all these years of living by the ‘her way or the highway’…she said no, she is bringing me to the hospital. She said she doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t want her to bring me to the hospital. She said she knows she annoys me and that I really don’t want to spend that much time with her. She said I am not wanting her to bring me, because I have ‘someone’ else that I would rather bring me. She said is this ‘someone’ else mad that she is bringing me, so that is why I am telling her that I don’t want her to bring me. She said it is hurtful that I don’t want her to bring me and it raises so many question for her. She said she won’t sit next to me at the hospital while we wait if I don’t want to be with her. I just cannot believe the guilt and the control and the manipulation that I felt from her, over me deciding what I want on the day of my surgery. Why couldn’t she have said, Steve, I understand there will be a lot of waiting around on Tuesday, I understand you likely would rather be by yourself and it may be slightly awkward or unpleasant spending the entire day with me considering we are separated, I appreciate you tell me about the surgery and I am thankful that you are willing to have me come to the hospital Tuesday evening. I respect your space and respect what you are asking of me, I want you to be as comfortable as possible on the day of your surgery. Why couldn’t a response along those lines have occurred? Please be honest and give me your thoughts…what in the heck am I doing.

[@steveg3767]

I'm hoping I did this correctly, but I may have figured out how to convert audio recordings into video. Here are just a few audio recordings; I hope I did this properly so you are able to listen to them. I am very anxious to get anyone's feedback on these audio recordings. Please give your honest opinion and advice, if you feel like doing so. I am trying to navigate these waters the best I can and want to make sure I am going about this properly. If the links don't work, please let me know that too. Thanks again for all of the help, I really appreciate it. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKPbqY1rm91rhJI kzbin.info/www/bejne/m5jJoHaDqbN7ra8 kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y3qzfJKfec6fsM0

[@monicapinho9955]

🌻🌻🌻

[@peggyeastwood3246]

Iam still not there after long term marriage waves a pain comes over me.

[@charmedwell]

Hello, do you offer counseling sessions?

[@TherapistTalks]

Only if you live in AZ or Hawaii; licensing regulations. Sorry, Best, S.

[@kikia.1352]

I was doing so well after I cleared myself from the fog...but then he came back and I began to have those feelings all over again. I actually missed him and our life together. I'm trying now to get strong again. How do I get the strength again to get out and remember my worth?

[@TherapistTalks]

The video, "6 Life Hacks to Higher Self Esteem" and "Trauma Bonding; Strategies to Get Free", may be helpful. Take care of YOU! Best, Shannon

[@iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521]

It will help if you can keep a diary... If you have not done so then just write down everything that you can remember that he did that was underhanded and backwards, and then look at that everyday..... then when you have the feelings of yearning for the good times, you will be able to see the reality of what really happened..... So sorry this has happened to you as well.

[@kikia.1352]

@@iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521 Thank you. I have written some things down but I havent been looking at it on a daily basis. I will try doing that because I do believe that will help. Thank you!

[@iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521]

@@kikia.1352 😘😘

[@charmedwell]

Thank you.