Out of the shadows: my father's suicide | Cori Gonzalez-Macuer | TEDxAuckland

[@jammynn7906]

Im 14 and my dad hung himself august 12th 2018, my friends hate listening to me talk about how much i miss my dad and how my mom ignores my anxiety. Its amazing knowing people are there to share their stories to help me and many others. Thank you.

[@drakestevens9884]

No Name my dad hunt himself when I was 12, I’m 18 now. It gets easier. Your friends don’t understand, mine didn’t either. Even if nobody else knows, I know how strong you are. Keep your head up

[@jammynn7906]

@@drakestevens9884 thank you.

[@Ninanqno45678]

Are you better?

[@jammynn7906]

@@Ninanqno45678 yes, its been a year and a half im taking my time with everything. thank you for the concern. i hope youre doing good as well :)

[@jammynn7906]

@@No._1_Karen ♡♡♡ :)

[@sonnyfoster1292]

I too lost my father to suicide three days after Christmas. He took his life in front of myself mother and brother. It altered the entire course of our life. I struggled with it for a long time with the why. A few weeks before that my mom had stopped him from doing it. As his plan was to take his own life and ours too. I image it was because he didn’t want to leave us behind in pain without him. There was such a stigma attached to mental illness at that time. I wish there wasn’t so he wouldn’t have suffered in silence and maybe could have found the courage to seek help. I strongly encourage those who are feeling that way reach out to someone...anyone before making a decision that is irreversible and so final🙏

[@Moonlightsdreamart]

Thank you for sharing your story! My dad took his life the same way a few months ago, my mom found him. She took my and my little brother to school and when she opened the garage my dad was in there. I can’t imagine what my mom saw. She can’t even talk about it yet. My dad struggled for years with bipolar disorder, and he held strong for so long.

[@Moonlightsdreamart]

E w o ღ I totally get the age thing, I’m only 16:( it sucks cause they won’t be here physical to see us become adults. It’s hard to think if I ever have kids they will never be able to meet my dad. I’m so sorry for your loss, that was very recent. My dad passed October 10th so it’s been a few months. It’s always really helpful for me to hear from other teenagers that have lost a parent to suicide. I’m always here to talk as well❤️ I know that going threw this at such a young age will make us stronger humans in the end, even if we feel week at the moment. You are badass❤️❤️❤️

[@thatnationalguardsman1232]

My dad was found the same why guys what’s going on………..

[@shaina6629]

my mom took her own life a few months back. i just wanted to ask you how much time did it take you to become happy again? or atleast live normally again. it seems impossible

[@carlossuriel5671]

Im so sorry for your loss ❤✊️. It is emotional to see you recognize your father was strong and held in there as much as he could. May you find peace in your life. 🙏

[@rizmkw4157]

wow sounds very similae to my situation - awful thing for anyone to go through - their is a unique grief to suicide due to it's preventable nature

[@lisabaudry1848]

My heart goes out to you Cori Gonzalez-Macuer for the pain and horror you have suffered. Thank you for lifting the lid on your pain. I have also experienced the trauma of losing a loved one to suicide. I hope that your talk can help others to feel less shame in asking for help and support. Thank you so much for sharing such a difficult experience.

[@CadaverBuffet]

I feel your pain my brother. My older brother Matthew passed away 10 year ago and my family has never recovered. Life is not the same. I am here for you at any hour. I am sorry my friend.

[@rarebreed345]

Sorry for your loss brother 😔💔

[@MegaCodgod99]

My father hung himself last week. I am still processing everything and it comforts me to see this video and comments

[@RileyGardner-yz6gy]

hi. I hope you’re doing alright. As good as you can be. :) warm regards

[@yuviaflorez221]

I'm graduating in two days. Instead of celebrating I'm crying because my dad isn't here to see me. I just want to talk to him. He's the only person who only ever understood me. I miss him

I really wish they couldve known that they did not just take their lives, they took our happy moments too. Tomorrow is my birthday and im not happy about it. Because its no longer my birthday, its "my 2nd birthday without my dad".

[@yuviaflorez221]

@ feels I hate my birthday my dad shot himself 2 days after my birthday

[@yuviaflorez221]

@ I hope your able to find moments of happiness in your birthday

[@yuriyseliuk4120]

Thanks for your story. Stay strong! My dad commited suicide 41 days ago, he had bad depression for last 6 months. its horrible and no words in the world can describe this, it was so hard to see him in this condition, where you feel hopeless. We tried everything we can..... later he showed signs of improvement, good mood, something started to be interestiong for him again (footbal, films etc.), he started to excersize again. But for some reason he seem not bealeve in our words, we told him every possible moment how good and important he for us and that he did everything for us and how we appreciate him and it was true!!!!! And after my holidays i went back to Poland (i work and live here) in two weeks i got this worst news of my life..... Please be careful if your close ones is in depression, always work with professionals (psychologists etc.) We were thinking things are going good, improving and this happened in least expected moment..... Your dad looks like very kind and good person, why always the best going away from us first..... My dad was the kindest person i ever knew and for some reason was keeping this inside him, never opened up to us (me and mother). We couldn't reach him in any way possible. Please if you see any sign of depression reach out good doctors, seems like your attention and love some times can't help in this horrible desiase, depression.....

[@ericagraham8706]

I am so sorry this happened... My Father did the same Jan. 2, 2021. I hope everything is going well with you. It seems so hard to move on right now. I think about my Dad constantly and my heart just aches. I can't wait for time to make this better. I try not to think about it and I try not to talk about it with friends and family to much. Is there any advice you could give that helped you?

[@yuriyseliuk4120]

@@ericagraham8706 I'm so sorry to hear that :( It's so hard to give any advice, stay strong, it will be better as times go. For me is better to not think what happened and how happened and period prior to event (he struggled for almost year, that's probably the most painful thing to see, photos where I know he feels bad) I'm trying to appreciate all good moments ive shared with him in my life...(even thought I barely was seeing him because of my study/work abroad) I'm so sorry for your loss... Stay strong! It will be better!

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

@@ericagraham8706 my father did the same on 14 feb ... After 60 days I am feeling better...many things I have done in that period of time to get rid of overthinking, nervousness , negativity but all things I can't tell you on all in single comment...I would like to share my experience if it helps you to get rid of pain....

[@FiveIM]

I am so sorry for your loss. Sadly, I lost my father the exact same way a week ago. My world is upside-down.

[@user-vj3ty9us5h]

My elder brother took his life a month ago, he was also the nicest best person. They are at peace now from this cruel world. The pain and sadness is unbearable

[@erict9324]

These stories help so many people, including me. Very brave Cori.

[@wilza316]

This is soo heartbreaking! Thank you for sharing your story Cori! You are such an incredible person!! Much respect to you & your family! Aroha xx

[@CorynElizabeth]

my dad just ended his life a few weeks back. wish i could wake up from this nightmare. thanks for sharing cori

I am so so sorry xxx i totally feel you

[@user-vj3ty9us5h]

My elder brother took his life a month ago, everyday I wait to be awoken from the nightmare, the pain and sadness is unbearable 😘😘

[@btaywj]

my mom killed herself too

[@19squids81]

Me too. Lost mine on April 2. It still doesn't even feel real. I wish I didn't have kids of my own. Seems like that would be much easier moving forward. This world is slowing turning into such a horrible place. I wish extra terrestrials would come get me and take me someplace else. 💔

[@Mimixoxo06]

i’m sorry for your loss i understand the feeling of the non stop nightmare, we are strong and are in this together

[@Splamsplamington]

I found my mom in her car after she took her own life. Theres no way to adequately describe the daily pain you have to live with after experiencing something like this. Thank you for sharing your story, and I’m so sorry for your loss ❤ what we do in the shadows is one of my favorite movies ever, now I love and appreciate it even more

[@joannet808]

I cannot get over my father ‘s suicide that occurred during Oct 25th 2020.I claimed that I was an empath but I was too wrapped up in my own unhappiness 😔🫀🌠🙏🏻🙏🏻🌌🌌Now I help others going through depression or anxiety.The only thing I can do in memory of my kind father was to be kind to others while they are still around or strangers on Quora.💙🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@btaywj]

i lost my mom through a suicide too she jump down

[@lorgaraurelian3392]

Thank you, I'm in a really bad place and listening to people who talk about their dads suicide helps a lot.

[@clarakeller5752]

Witnesses my mom’s suicide over 3 years.... I just can’t get over it... Thank you & so sorry for your loss.

I’m so sorry Clara you bear the weight of the world, it will get better, stay strong 💚

[@Diannako1]

how are you doing now Clara? my dad hung himself 8 days ago :-(

[@wildflower14]

@@Diannako1 I am truly sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how you feel.. lost my mom a year ago this month.. but I will say even though there are moments when i am in shambles, feeling your emotions and not blocking them out is so important. if you need to cry, let it out its okay to be vulnerable for a while. i know only one persons words can't fix everything but you are not alone

[@Diannako1]

@@wildflower14 thank you for taking your time to respond me. I'm better now. Bless you.

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

@@Diannako1 my dad also did the same...if you want any help to get rid of this pain or over thinking or other issue feel free to talk with me dear.... God bless you

[@ericagraham8706]

My Daddy just hung himself on his door the same way. It's been about a week and a half ago. I just literally felt the pain you had to go through. I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like a piece of me is missing. I knew he was going through a lot but I didn't think he would do that. It's amazing how you have overcome. I hope to do the same... Thanks for sharing your story!!!

[@DonSwaggin]

you will see him again one day. remember that death is not the end. through christ it’s only the beginning.

[@kerrileigh4739]

My dad shot himself about 3 months ago. I was there in the next room. I’m trying to figure it all out.

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

@@kerrileigh4739 my father hung on 14 feb ... After 60 days I am feeling better...many things I have done in that period of time to get rid of overthinking, nervousness , negativity but all things I can't tell you on all in single comment...I would like to share my experience if it helps you to get rid of pain....

@@kerrileigh4739 oh my gosh, I am so sorry. My dad shot himself too. It is so violent, I cant imagine being there. My heart goes to you.

[@rarebreed345]

@@kerrileigh4739 wtf man that's horrible

[@OliviaCortado]

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I’m so sorry you had to find your dad like that. Thank you for being brave enough to share. I know this video is from 6 years ago, but it’s evident many of us are still grieving from the suicide of a parent. I was 15 years old when my dad died by suicide in 2009. It’s something that still pains me deeply on certain occasions. It’s not that I’m over it by any means, but I’m not depressed or suicidal the way I was after it happened. I have found that the more I heal and do the inner work the more connected I feel to my true self and to my dad. I think of him fondly and don’t let his death define him. The best thing we can do for ourselves and for the loved ones we lost, is to live life to the fullest and heal. If you’re reading this please know that you are worthy of all the love and joy this world has to offer, and things will get better. You are so much more than the trauma you experienced. I’m praying for those in need, and sending love and healing energy your way.

[@johannatheone]

Sending love to you! What a humble and important talk

[@surajlearner2443]

Please come back Papa I really miss uhh..

So sorry :(

[@spunkyman3512]

Thank you for talking about this

[@nataliemorehouse1597]

My goodness... you are so strong for sharing your story, and I really appreciate it! A funny thing: I had to slow down the video a little bit but it was still amazing!

[@mayanklakhani98]

It's very tough to describe my father's suicide but I got a platform to speak. Didn't even thought that a person engrossed with people, lively gentleman his guilt and depression could take him to this step. Unfortunately things where not working well within my family but this step of my father have left so many questions unanswered. Dad we had a healthy relationship but something went so wrong. Sorry dad and me and mom are missing you very badly.

[@officialheathercombseardrp559]

THANK YOU for posting! As a four-time familial suicide survivor (husband at 19, mother at 48, 2nd husband 28, & cousin age 21. Father died at 54, in my arms, due to alcoholism), I understand the great pain and stigma associated with the loss of a loved one by suicide. I didn't just "Survive," I found a way to "Thrive."' Need a friend? -@ Teardrops That Tango. ✞ Friendz; You are strong. You are beautiful. When it feels like the rest of the world is unreachable, help is out there. When the rest of the world feels like too much to handle, there is always someone or something that can help you take control of your thoughts, your actions, and your mental health. What you need to remember in times like these, is that you are never alone.

[@nyag1764]

You should be on TedTalks. Your testimony is absolutely amazing. Thank you for sharing. I just lost my dad in February to suicide. He was extremely close to my 9 year-old daughter and she was the first to find him. We are heartbroken still but are leaning in Jesus for strength. But stories like yours help and are encouraging. Blessings to you.

[@Onlinesully]

OFFICIAL Heather Combs; †eardrღps †hat †angღ You must be one heck of a person on mind and spirit and physically.

[@katrummel8045]

Is that your IG connection? @Teardrops that tango

[@agnosticarab8964]

OMG! I thought MY life was a mess!!!

[@LeonVerhulst]

Much love to you

[@waverleyb2443]

This story is going to help me!!! It's two years since my dad committed in 2019. In Wellington 😭

[@CourierSixMojaveExpress]

Thursday April 28th 2022. My father hung himself in his backyard. My brother and his girlfriend were gone with him but I'm the other room. My mom found my dad when she got home. My brother and her and his girlfriend had to cut him down. When my fiance got the phone call from my mom that night I knew something was wrong. I thought maybe there was time to save him but he had been there too long. He was my best friend. I miss him so much. I'm numb. I cant sleep. I truly have never felt this kind of pain before. I talked to my dad hours before he did that and he sounded fine. He was so loving and generous. His laugh could make anyone smile. I just feel so lost. I feel like he left my family behind. I've never seen my mom like this before and it's so incredibly painful. Me and my family always spoke and I saw my dad everyday except that day. I got covid and was unable to see him since he had pneumonia 4 times already and didnt want to risk it. I regret not having gone and seen him when he asked. I dont know how to keep going. I just want this pain to stop.

[@user-vj3ty9us5h]

My elder brother took his life a month ago, the pain and sadness is unbearable, we'll get thru this 😘😘

[@adamchatfield7526]

I can relate man. I had a similar story around 9 months ago. My mom took her life in the woods of my backyard with a bullet to the head. It breaks my heart to this day. I understand the shock. But we’ll get through this! Best of luck to you in life. It’s not all bad and most importantly remember that you’re not alone!

[@naheedakhtar1982]

Hats off to u so heartbreaking to listen to this I pray for peace and strength for u. Your such a brace person xx

[@NZGaby]

Great job cori! touching piece about how important it is to care for those close to us!

[@deninkorjenic4727]

Its been bit over 2 years, it still hurts but it gets better everyone.

[@lesocloud6773]

My father passed away yesterday. March 16,2023. I dont even get to say I Love him. Is it wrong for me to have suicidal thoughts after my father take his own life. I really missed you,Dad.

[@callummcbrearty7808]

Hi just came across your comment, my father committed suicide the exact same date back in 2016 must be a sign that I seen this, I know what your feeling but that’s never the answer and this will only make you stronger , time isn’t a healer but you get better with dealing with it as time goes on, try to think about the good memories and never stop talking about him as it keeps the memories alive ❤️

[@callummcbrearty7808]

Was actually 2015 just shows you how easy it is to block out the pain of the memory

[@Jihye10]

thank you for sharing your story, i can relate.

[@sandybear61]

I'm so sorry, Cori. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@bazcarss1184]

Thank you for sharing yours and your dads story, God bless you both.

[@treasurz1]

My father, father in law, paternal grandmother, grandfather, uncle and Aunty all killed themselves. I still struggle, mostly because of my dad

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

I am sad for you dear, just pray for them. my father hung on 14 feb ... After 60 days I am feeling better...many things I have done in that period of time to get rid of overthinking, nervousness , negativity but all things I can't tell you on all in single comment...I would like to share my experience if it helps you to get rid of pain....

[@Catoo2011]

Thank you so much for sharing Cori! It is so helpful for others who are in a similar space!

[@vigavigaviga]

❤❤❤ thank you for sharing. All of you, every comment touched me. I am a mom of two, I am not a good mom and i hurt them so much. I do think they would be better off whitout me. Seing theese comments makes me think there might be another way.

[@Mimixoxo06]

im 17 turning 18 in october 29. my father passed away from suicided january 11 2022, very traumatic it still takes over my entire life. i miss him everyday, he said we would travel the world together, i still plan on doing that on my own

[@northtrue145]

I have dealt with it since 2009. Drinks, drugs, everything under the sun just to not think it is real. Our parents are the toughest people we know. Heros. I love you all that are trying to figure out why. And what if. It's so painful. . Love you all

[@roejogan4540]

...Idk who you are but I love you too bro...

[@ladyjayeXO]

I lost my dad to suicide and his body was found May 29th. Funeral was the first week of June due to the state of his body. I'm broken, and I don't know what to do with myself. My parents have been divorced for more than ten years and my siblings live with my mom in California while my dad lives in Minnesota. Our relationship with our dad was loving but distant Bc of his mental health issues. Every single day I think of him.. wondering if he is at peace. I would like to think he is. I hope he is happy now.

[@Diannako1]

I hope he found peace

[@Mary-op8hi]

If you need someone to talk to, I am here. Message me at chronicallyvegann if you would like

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

my father did the same on 14 feb ... After 60 days I am feeling better...many things I have done in that period of time to get rid of overthinking, nervousness , negativity but all things I can't tell you on all in single comment...I would like to share my experience if it helps you to get rid of pain....

[@vjay10]

He’s at peace with no worries ❤️

[@erickakacharron]

I'm a father of 4. I've been baking extreme depression it seems for most of my life. Childhood trauma I don't talk about probably has something to do with it. I feel that when things get hard, the only thing that keeps me from ending my life is the idea that I would hurt my children. My oldest son may not survive it. And I can't do that to him. But the struggle is so hard some days, and I fear that I'll fail to convince myself not to one day... I'm sorry for everyone who has lost a father this way. I'm really really sorry for your losses

[@jacksonayckbourn1239]

Thank you for sharing this I’ve been in the same situation really does bring comfort

[@ciaranmcerlean773]

My dad did this as well 2 years ago in a room with oil i pulled him out in only what i could describe as a nite mare notting could have threw me like that in this life so far I get what he means right to the very core of my being. If for only a sec u could feel that pain you would understand it takes a part of u with them.

[@AngelusaNobilis]

My 12 year old son's father just killed himself 4/29/23. I'm here to learn how to be there for my son. I'm a wreck. I can't even imagine his emotions. He already said he doesn't want to tell his friends. I worry he's ashamed.

[@nono-bo8dv]

my papa hung himself new year’s eve 2014 in mexico (he got deported) (i’m legal he wasn’t) i was 7, i don’t remember him that much, but i remember calling him on the phone sometimes. i always wonder what it’s like to have a dad.

[@treasurz1]

My father hung himself and came to see me the night before, I should have known from what he was saying, but I didn’t know. I’m still so sorry and guilty for not saving him how I should

[@kaashihi7209]

No!!! You’re not responsible. Trust me. I saw my own father slip into depression and before I knew it he was gone. But I promise there is nothing you could’ve done to change things. It is a personal own decision and I know it’s hard to realize, but you couldn’t save him! It is not your fault, you are still alive and staying strong, and you deserve to talk about your feelings and to grieve. Please be kind to yourself!

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

@@kaashihi7209 God bless you dear....

[@sethbratten3033]

The only thing holding me back from leaving is my son. I don’t want him to not have a father. But I’m hurting so bad.😣😣

[@Wearethepeople27]

Seth Bratten Seth, I bet you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Your son needs you here. Seek support and counseling. It works🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@jacobbaker4545]

I feel the same

[@ketakideshmukh8827]

Please stay strong for your kid and don't hesitate to talk to someone and seek support

[@shannonm2005]

Please don’t do it. Reach out for help! My dad just committed suicide 2 weeks ago and I am destroyed. You are somebody’s world. My biggest thing I can’t get over is “he’d rather die than ask for help and talk to somebody how he was feeling”. If he would have just told me I would have done anything in my power to help him, show him how important he is. He always used to say “no matter how bad life gets. It will always get better” please don’t kill yourself - your son needs you. I need my dad and he’s gone forever.

[@shannonm2005]

@@jacobbaker4545 don’t do it. Please don’t leave your child - seek help. I just lost my dad to suicide and the worst part is the situation will never change and never get better. He’s never coming back. My whole mind is destroyed, let alone my heart.

[@saphyralagang595]

My dad died in 2015.. I was 7 years old and I feel ashamed to say that I’ve run out of tears and I don’t have any more razors I feel like killing myself but I won’t because I know I could never leave my family like my dad did (I’m 12... but I’m just so tired of life already)

[@Diannako1]

dear friend. I'm 36 and my dad killed himself. it hurts so much. I can only think how hard it has to be for you. please hang on, it will be better. You're strong. You can do it. You can always talk to me if you need someone to talk.

[@shannonm2005]

Just get past 18 life is such a different thing when you’re out of school and on your own. There’s immense pressure when you’re so young and in schools but life gets so much better when you’re on your own.

[@Diannako1]

I'm 36 and my dad killed himself. It hurts enormously no matter what age you are. I'm sad because he won't see his grandchildren growing up :'-(

[@Mary-op8hi]

Hey there, if you need someone to talk to I am here. You can find me at chronicallyvegann on instagram. Take care of yourself and yours

[@Diannako1]

@@Mary-op8hi thank you. I'm ok. Thanks for your concern. Stay safe and well.

[@drewdowns7128]

my dad told me how his mom commited suicide on front of him and his brother in the 60`s. his dad had a hard time raising them, but they hate my grandad... and carried hate toward her and him... really worries me to this day. im 33 and have no kids

[@lukewalker8448]

My dad hung himself yesterday march 15th he drank a whole bottle of jsck daniels and was on drugs at the time, i skipped out on my last visit with him and now i just wish i could i see him, i miss him so much and i cant believe he has done it 3 days before my 16th on 19th of march

[@brandonrubio6840]

Srry man

[@kodi_Lotto]

Wonderful Talk. Thanks Cori .. This could change a viewers life, so thank you.

[@joannemcgrath3436]

My dad hung himself when I was 46 it's necessary to talk about this I went to a cognitive and hypnotherapist lady on and off for 2 years. Hopefully you can reach out where you live to a place where other people have the same experiences alot of people don't know how to talk around this subject if you find someone that listens that's worth so much. I didn't realise how this happens to so many people sending you hugs and best wishes to meet people who can listen .

[@isabella9654]

My dad committed suicide when I was 8 and that's the worst pain I've ever felt and still feel to this day. Those around me, mainly my wife and going to therapy are the only reasons I am not doing it myself since my mother and her husband disowned me about a couple years ago. My family only consist of my maternal grandparents and in-laws now. I have daily, active suicidal ideation, I just find so many reasons certain methods aren't worth trying, i.e.: I wouldn't ever OD on pills because of the use of Narcan. This hurts and hasn't let up in 21 years 😢

[@rubyslippers6716]

Sending you and your family light and love from CT❤️💔

[@TommyFunderburk803]

My father took his life December 9, 2019. Mainly still feel anger.

[@thringy6657]

I’m in the exact same situation right now and I fear I’m going to walk into the same thing. It’s driving me crazy.

[@johnmiller7453]

Just remember that everyone dies. Sometimes IMO it's better to choose when that time is rather than to live in a nightmare of emotional or physical suffering. Death is natural and inevitable whether you do it yourself or not. I wish you luck in handling anything that life throws at you.

How are you Sean?

[@acaibowlprincess1142]

Me too, I feel insane I hope you’re feeling a little better now? I hope you’re okay💓

[@kal646]

Are you good now thringy6657

[@rachelleeslick4619]

Thank you for sharing!!!!!

[@thgentleman9210]

It takes a strong man to grief.

[@smithy7034]

Thank you so much for this video.

[@idkk9013]

My dad just killed himself today, left no note nor voice message. I’m just looking for free therapy if such a thing exist. Please

[@kal646]

R u ok now brother ?😢😢

[@kal646]

I can feel ur pain

[@SassyXR6007]

Look at all the father's dying by thier own hands :( I'm a father, 44 and 5 kids. I'm suicidal right now hence why I'm here. Everyday for years i go through this 😭 I just can't enjoy life anymore it's torture

[@kal646]

😢😢don't do it plzz you will left your family in pain u will broke them what will u say to GOD after doing this

[@850ic6]

Good job! In some circumstances it is almost impossible to “talk about it”. I’m the CEO of a company. If my Board or my employees knew about my constant struggles with depression I’d be forced out within three weeks. I have teen aged kids who just wouldn’t understand “weakness” in their dad. I coach high school level sports and I’d be viewed as a danger to the kids and fired within days if I openly talked about thoughts I’d suicide. Then my lovely wife would dump me because of the social stigma of having a husband who has depression. So, the treadmill never stops and I am in misery. Someday I won’t be able to keep up with the spinning tread and I find comfort in knowing that I can someday stop this suffering and end it all. Sorry about being grim but my situation is similar to hundreds of thousands of people who literally can’t afford to hit a relief valve and “talk to someone” about depression or suicidal thoughts.

[@lukazoeebert1183]

Hey, are you doing better now? I sincerely hope so. If not, please know that you can always talk to someone. Your mental and physical health should always be your first priority. Obviously, you don't have to tell everyone right now. If you do decide and talk to a counselor or literally any professional, there is no need for you to explain yourself to anyone. You decide when and if you tell your board, employees etc. But in the long-term, you cannot be a good leader, father, husband, coach if you don't take care of yourself first. The saying "you can't pour from an empty cup" is really on point here. I lost my dad to suicide when I was 5 and believe me when I say: I didn't end anyone's suffering. Maybe his own, but then again he did nothing more than flee from it, when I am certain he was so much stronger than that. And so are you. I am sure that you are perfectly capable to ask for help. It's not an act of weakness, but rather an act of extreme strength. It takes courage to open up. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones (wife, kids if you have any, parents, siblings, ...). But do it. Sending you a hug, Zoë

[@Mary-op8hi]

I hope you are doing much better now but if not, and you need someone to talk to, I am here

[@confederatetearsaredelicious]

I'm riding the same boat you are.

[@monikajackson5568]

Similar place myself at the moment. Did you find any help, or support?

[@RickyRisha410]

My father is talking about suicide all day from past 3 weeks. I don’t know what to do, cuz he don’t even want to seek medical professional help. Drinking all day from 5 months, I want help 😔

[@Adam5576]

I'm so sorry to hear this!! I have had a family member struggling with this as well, recently I had to call authorities to have them help Intervene before it was too late. Feel free to find me on fb messenger/ snapchat and send a message if you want to talk. Brady Daniels

[@RickyRisha410]

@@Adam5576 what authority do? Please tell

[@Mary-op8hi]

@@RickyRisha410 If they feel as if your father's threats to his life are serious enough they will take him to the hospital and then next steps will be decided there. I highly recommend that you call 911 the next time he talks about suicide

[@blue_belt_blues9554]

I want to go so much but have son's ...being here is so hard

[@ourhome8521]

I hope you are well. I loss my dad to suicide, it still hurts so bad. 💔 I miss him so much.

[@notarealfairy]

i lost my father and stepfather both, I hope you're still around man

[@DBarry-g5m]

Oh my… I can relate to the pretending… I was 10 when my dad tried to kill my mom I saved her then he came after me… he shot himself in the porch. His suicide note read” the reason I took Deb with me( me) is because she needs to be in another world don’t worry it only hurt for a moment sorry for the mess” I was mute for 3 years I’m not and can’t imagine to be ok. Long story… but I’d love to chat. I’m looking for help.

[@samnepia7373]

Watching this from Lower Hutt. Woo!

[@sallyebrahimi7491]

Thank you x

[@pattybaselines]

Tragic but I love how he uses humor to cope I know I’d do the same

[@raymondsims8735]

Great story ❤

[@Paulblin82]

Thank you

[@richdude8150]

I'm here because I have kids and i really want to leave but I'm worried about how it would affect them

[@richdude8150]

@@josipasalihbasic5623 thank you. I am trying my best and I'm doing a bit better now.

[@user-vj3ty9us5h]

My elder brother took his life a month ago, the pain and sadness is beyond unbearable. It's a real-life nightmare. U may not know how much u are loved and no one wld be able to live without u. We're all in pain on this planet, and here to love each other 😘😘

[@sickchild9523]

Im here because my mom just got hospitalized for trying to drown herself, mixed with an overdose, and im just trying to not feel alone, and try to understand what I can do to help as a 14 year old.

[@lylycrowe7173]

I'm so sorry. I hope you and your mom are doing better day by day. 14 is still so young, do not be afraid to reach out to any support groups.

[@user-vj3ty9us5h]

Hi sweetheart, are u alright?

[@diane7352]

So sorry

[@tacoblood9004]

I love you dad

My dad shot himself today. I wish someday I can talk about it and make people laugh too.

[@cantedrds6281]

Wow! You are so strong!

Wow I cant remember righting this

[@PIlotrcm]

How do you manage to strangle yourself with a belt or cord on a door? Like…doesn’t your feet just touch the ground?

[@justmadeit2]

His dad was on anti depressants and anti anxiety tabs and they didnt work

[@BrittanyTurner-jp3qy]

I am having terrible grief since my fathers suicide April 17th 2023 his father my grandfather also committed suicide in 1997

[@asha_vere]

"Why does everybody leave me" Me: 😢😢😢

[@rarebreed345]

😔

[@mayurdhvajsinhchudasama2289]

Don't over think about it

[@missichristensen3275]

So much pain in your eyes.....drop that load your carrying.Its not yours to carry

[@zachtracy2093]

My dad tried to OD last night.

[@clorofemully]

i hope you are both doing better...

[@justmadeit2]

So many more men die of this than women, same here in England too

[@cali9jm]

The only thing I have is my son, but I know he will understand

[@kal646]

😢don't do it

[@cheril8891]

Appreciate your speaking about this very much. Next time could you talk a little slower? We need a slower pace to absorb what your saying.

[@neilhowell3083]

My children are 13 and 16 they utterly despise me and hate me with a passion they havent spoke to me for months If I die I would imagine they will dance on my grave with joy in their hearts.

[@sre1236]

Talk to them about ur feelings don’t bottle it up

[@clydecrawfords]

11.17.2022

[@LydiaHopeT]

❤️

[@ashmeadali]

Build inner strength to unconditionally love self and all life by singing HU daily. Search how to sing HU the Sound of Soul.

[@noahpierre-louis8040]

I feel so bad for him but he said 111 you mean 911

[@silverpairaducks]

If your dad gave ur mum more money he'd be a person....

[@queenofalldiamondsss]

I don't feel sorry for the fathers that kill them selves! I feel sorry for the kids that had to clean it up and see it . I feel nothing for someone who couldn't even leave a note but blood and brains spread all over the walls. Someone like that does not have the ability to have love for his children....

[@Sam-cl7wq]

my dad loved my brother and I very much. the last thing he told both of us was that he loved us. the problem is that they don't know how loved they are. I can't speak for all, but I know my dad had no idea the pain this would cause all of us. He truly believed we would be better off this way, otherwise he would not have done it. I don't know what you're going through, but I can say that I understand that anger. I have been through so many emotions these past three weeks, from anger and blame to guilt and shame, but before my exhausted brain finally gives in at the end of every night, I know that my dad loved us and didn't mean for it to be this way. I hope you can get past whatever you're going through, forgiveness is for yourself.

[@Ohxinessaxinessa]

alicia fourie you sound so terribly heartless.

[@elisecharday4476]

That’s hurtful, really hurtful. Stop alicia

[@Bone89]

Alicia, did u have to clean up ur fathers? I’m sorry if u did. Maybe someone that does that had much love for their children. I’m sure it’s part of the agony they are dealing with

[@haploid2k]

I agree. He should have done it in a place where his ex-wife had to cut him down. She broke her vows and caused the suicide, she should have cleaned it up. The kids are innocent.

[@NZGaby]

Great job cori! touching piece about how important it is to care for those close to us!

[@1fan689]

❤❤❤