Overcoming TRUST issues, Work HUSBAND, healing from INFIDELITY with Paul Bashea Williams

[@HardlyInitiated]

👉DATING CARDS: www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck

[@marjn1030]

Marriage ain't no joke. Choose wisely.

[@jamierichardson6460]

The most important serious decision you will make in your adult life

[@ucheiwuajoku1037]

Amen

[@VirgoDluxe]

He hit the nail on the head when he spoke about being performative. I dealt with a man who became performative after I voiced a concern about spending quality time together. Even though he did spend more time in the physical, mentally he was miles away, Uninvolved, surface communication, and constant phone scrolling. Suffice to say when I shared my observations I got “you’re never satisfied; I’m doing what you asked of me” along with anger. Turns out later he was fearful of falling deeply in love with me as he believed I would hurt him eventually and he wouldn’t be able to bounce back if that happened. He literally mentally created a reality that didn’t exist with me and acted accordingly based on his past relationships. If this story sounds like you PLEASE seek a good therapist and heal your wounds. You will ruin a great relationship if you don’t ✨

[@nina8340]

happened to me. If really hurt too, cause I was genuinely open to him

[@teresamarie7460]

Why would a man go into a relationship "fearful of falling deeply in love". Sounds like this type of man just came into your life to take and take until he is done with you.

[@ricksamuel5260]

Virgo that's deep

[@VirgoDluxe]

@@teresamarie7460 I hear you, however this was not the case. Some men are use to loving on a surface level and some women are ok with that as it’s more than they have ever received or are use to receiving. This is not how I operate and he knew that more would be required but was scared to do so based on his past. I mirrored him in many ways so there was no abuse with taking. Spending quality time was my only complaint and that truth set him free💕 He’s a lovely human and a great giver.

[@TB-fk4qm]

💯💯💯💯💯💯

[@wjotaj83]

"Be what you are looking for. Give what you are asking for." May God give us Wisdom!

[@epiphanyperry1877]

Yaaaaas ❤❤

[@TanyellAnnederson]

Unfortunately, I’ve seen men do their woman so wrong when she’s completely in love in the early years of the relationship.. cheating, lying, disrespecting, and taking her for granted..then when he’s played all the games or now life has caught up to him he wants to do right by her. By then her hearts broken and she’s tired. She probably resents him for hurting her but now he needs her. Now she has no respect for him. Some men chose a good woman after he wears her down. He then realizes I’ve had all the women I want ….now just give me the woman I need

[@Savingrace457]

Agreed

[@taluj2298]

An absolutely beautiful talk. Been married 21 years and the lessons are as real as can be. Learning how to communicate with each other, respecting personal growth goals and our own couple goals, learning to validate each other , accepting two truths can co exist , being best friends and cheerleaders ….. it’s been a beautiful ride with my partner and not to say it was always easy but when we allow our triggers to be our teachers, that’s where we find wisdom . My husband is my biggest teacher .I always pray that everyone finds soft love in their life! Thank you for the podcast .

[@sonjadf47]

Therapy is essential if you wish to have a healthy relationship.

[@MY-im5qp]

In a past relationship, I've definitely felt like i had to compete with his mother. At one point i mentioned the she has her husband, I'd like mine. Yet, what i communicated was completely dismissed. I've also had moments where the mother planned trips and completely excluded me as this person's wife. No woman want to be in that position. Raise your children for the world, not yourselves, because when they become an adult others have to deal with what was created.

[@kdelite9268]

What i think is weird is men that have male friends that cheats on their Woman and mistreats her and yet they don't distrust them.

[@adriannorwood8237]

Eventually you do mistrust them. But it’s kinda along the lines of just because you’re an alcoholic doesn’t mean you’re a drug addict; just because you’re a thief doesn’t mean you’re a murderer. We all categorize sins into bad, worse, won’t associate with that person because that’s unthinkable.

[@kendriahudson4747]

@@adriannorwood8237alcohol is a drug and an alcoholic is indeed a drug addict. Just saying.

[@kendriahudson4747]

That’s what happens when a man doesn’t see women as full humans. Many men just see women as some type of accessory or appliance. Can’t cheat on your dishwasher or baby incubator or your shiny car.

[@y_chelle]

@@adriannorwood8237 Enablers 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@ThurstMETV]

What that man does with his woman or women doesn’t effect our relationship as friends. I believe one of their guest said “I would never do business with a man who cheats on his wife.” Literally you wouldn’t do business with 90% of men and women out there then lol. Particularly men of means. So if the bedroom is your prerequisite for who you trust then you may just have to go at it alone. The two have no relation. Idc about that.

[@JaneDoe-dp6rg]

It's always the untrustworthy people that are looking for people that are trustworthy. It's the weirdest thing to me.

[@epiphanyperry1877]

That's because they purposely avoid people who behave like themselves. Sometimes it's predatory in nature, but other times it's because they lack introspect

[@TheLOVEISWHATWENEED]

ALWAYS!! They are quick to tell someone they don’t trust them.. a person that don’t trust anyone is a person no one should trust!!

[@2611Lover]

Exactly

[@Erica-cf1xb]

​@epiphanyperry1877 the people who behave like them would reveal who they are behind the mask. So if you wanna impress someone, then a person may seek out people who don't live by the same standards to mimic. That's a solid way to eat enough to get a permanent position where they can't be thrown away once the truth comes out.

[@roslyndowning8808]

COMMUNICATION is a MUST to BEGIN to TRUST.

[@Chichi0722]

As a therapist, I so appreciate this conversation and hearing about Black men's perspectives on healing and unwrapping the hurt. Great topic, questions and dialogue!!! Loving H.I.!!! ❤️

[@QYAH322]

My intended husband IS my best friend! There is no need for another man to confide in unless we go to counseling together!

[@jerlynnghee207]

Mr. Williams putting us social workers on the map. We are needed!

[@RK-un6dr]

Yes we are

[@trinikatrotter4522]

Yes, he did and yes we are needed 🎉🎉

[@yowilli6669]

Yes! My mom worked for the county DHR when I was growing up. The social workers were like the agency's superheroes. They made sure every child, parent, family, etc. were taken care of. They are the doctors who treat the ills of the society ❤

[@TotsieTells]

Yessss!! I felt so proud!

[@lenalee5939]

We most definitely are! Social workers unite lol. @yowilli6669 the comment you made about social workers was really beautiful. I never pictured social work in that way until now ❤

[@msnos6245]

If a man says he doesn't trust women, I'm staying as far away from him as possible. Im not going to ask why? That's not a good sign.

[@abisolaabisola7357]

Facts ❤

[@Eastpointe]

Yep, and that means he don’t trust his own momma!

[@mjohnson8206]

Yep that means he’s untrustworthy

[@zero1188]

@@Eastpointetrue because alot of times these mother be trash then raise the son to be that way

[@SE-gs6gd]

@@zero1188people have trash parents all the time and can still turn out to be amazing human beings. Living parents can produce sociopaths. People are individuals. You are the most responsible for your own life. Your parents can’t live your life for you.

[@Klaudiamichelle]

I really enjoy when men come to the table and talk like this! 👍🏽

[@petemuganeafrica7312]

We as men are not meant to suffer, we are meant sacrifice (temporarily suffer) towards a goal. That statement alone is life changing. I appreciate this conversation.

[@TheonlyLadytee212]

I would encourage you two to not be pulled back into darkness by adopting hurtful and unhealthy habits. Your growth has been phenomenal, right before our eyes! Continue to seek truth! Seek God as He guides you both into awesome, loving relationships that will glorify Him and honor you! Not all men/women are the same and good, successful relationships take work, sacrifice and should have God as it's source and power! Trust is necessary in relationship and acknowledgment of our humanity is critical for forgiveness and healing! God doesn't hold our past against us and we should therefore journey to forgive in order to live free to love and grow!

[@HackStreet_990]

Ryan mostly, so much so that his facial expressions look softer Pray for them both that they are also rooted in Christ

[@beneiseoleinmheart5614]

​@@HackStreet_990is Ryan and Tysean a couple? Just found this podcast.

[@HackStreet_990]

@@beneiseoleinmheart5614 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you made my morning. No, they are good friends and business partners

[@royalchild100]

As a suggestion for the 31 days, you can also Read or Listen to the Book of Proverbs which has 31 chapters, so you can do 1 chapter a day and gain much wisdom from the Word of God, you will definitely come out as a changed and better person.

[@calaiasears2958]

I used to say “people want what they see but don’t see what they want”!! He perfectly explained this out. Sometimes the character and true inside of a person is missed/ skipped over because it’s not in the package we are immediately attracted to!

[@jelisatruly5334]

He was a great guest have him back more often ❤

[@leahmcalister-shields6417]

This is an excellent podcast. As a regular viewer I appreciate the content you are creating for the Culture. However, I must say this is the best episode you all have produced. It is not only therapeutic for brothers but for sisters as well. Keep this high-quality, excellent content coming.

[@feliciawalker9771]

Vulnerability is strength 👏 Totally agree....i will tell you about me just to see what you do with the information. Just sit back and observe

[@feliciawalker9771]

He is a breathe of fresh air. Thank you for being a grown men and taking about these things

[@sonjadf47]

You shouldn’t be married to anyone that you can’t trust or are disrespects you. But if a man is paying any attention to his partner, all of that should be discovered during courtship.

[@marjn1030]

Unfortunately people only worry about 'does he like me' or 'does she like me' instead of having a intentional goal to find out about the person's character.

[@MY-im5qp]

In my personal experience, I've noticed one leading with ego, which is very destructive. You can have confidence, but ego lacks accountability and vulnerability. You cannot have a relationship without vulnerability.

[@judithjackson1086]

I really love his interviews!! Please bring him om the live show...an hour wasnt enough

[@cliquesnvues]

Yes, a man can absolutely be content and happy in a relationship with the woman who is unhappy... It is many men out here moving reckless to satisfy his own desires or ego, etc... while the women, wife, significant other Is accepting it while being unhappy.... And the woman will hold on forgive. Forget push through only to be pushed to The end resulting in divorce Or ending the relationship....

[@missboateng]

Bashea said "EMBRACE VULNERABILITY, IT IS STRENGTH". That hit me. Thank you for sharing this with us. I learned a lot from this episode. Well done brothers. Your fan from Ghana.

[@kyamitchell7620]

I really enjoyed this interview. 5 yrs separated from my husband, and communication is still on the rocks. The topic abt having a voice in your marriage helped me understand the possibility of my husband wanting to be heard, but not having the tools to explore communication to address what he needed. Although he cheated and has possibly caused his abrupt decision to leave the kids and I... I truly believe we could have made this marriage work. Healing continues on my end but has allowed me to see all relationships differently. Thank you, guys...

[@gretablackwood]

The thing that struck me the most in this episode was having best friends of the opposite sex. So many people say that it's a form of control to not "allow" your significant other to have friends of the opposite sex. That just opens the door for infidelity, whether it's emotional or physical. Like Beshea said, you have to be on the up and up about who your friends are and the nature of the relationship. Does it just apply to marriage? At what point in the relationship when you're dating each other exclusively should the dynamic of your other friendships change? What do you do if your partner pushes back on you wanting to know their friends or acts like it's none of your business who they associate with?

[@jzloveinfinite]

Ch'illllllle...I wish I would cheat with my male best friend! I would off my ownself! GROSS! 🤢🤮🤢

[@jennadvue]

I let him be friends with girls on Facebook, and he never wanted me to know them. So I added them and found out that he told some of them that he would hit on them if he was single. If he don't want you to know them, then that means he uses them for emotional validation and will talk to them when he can't control you. Those girls know that they are the side piece. They like his attention, too. 😅 The point is...he don't want you to know them because they have dirt on him and he don't want you to know. He thinks he is protecting you from getting hurt. My advice is to have your own friends too so when he is busy with other people you can use it as the opportunity to catch up with other people. 😅 so when he leave with her because she knows how to sweet talk to him... you good. But, if and when he comes back you got to be ready for to face the fact that when he want to talk to his side piece he gonna create a conflict and fight with you just so he can go talk to her. Trust me this happened to me. Eventually, he will either leave you or something will blow up and he will try to make it your fault. Cause he is going to say, "I cheated because of you."😅 we wish men could get therapy but they won't because their ego.

[@kendriahudson4747]

People who claim to be just friends with the opposite sex are obnoxious. Heterosexual men and women don’t even like each other like that. If there’s no physical/ sexual attraction between a heterosexual man and woman, they really have no common ground. That’s just the truth. The exception is if you’re married and friends with other married couples, and even that can test boundaries between men and women. The older we get the truer this is. I may have had male friends in college but that’s just convenience and proximity, not true friendship.

[@yemedemure414]

Agreed!! All the enemy needs is a tiny crack to get in and he in there. Having friends of the opposite leads to emotional cheating which is more dangerous than physical. Because you are creating mental soul ties. If I’m not more than enough for my man that he keeps female friends then he can gone about his business. Any of my male friends wanted to be with me. Once I’m in a committed relationship they gotta go. You must sacrifice people and things when you entering a covenant. ❤

[@gretablackwood]

@@yemedemure414 Amen! I know exactly why men hang around. I have no problem getting rid of all of them when I'm in a relationship.

[@HackStreet_990]

This man is the ultimate Alpha male. He doesn't even have to pound his chest. He showed male vulnerability and I had to listen intently or have the concepts fly over my head I'm sure that when he walks into a room, people take notice

[@cassandramn6786]

This was such a layered conversation! So needed!

[@jasminasinanbegovic6225]

Be careful when choosing a third person that will "help" your marriage. That can only be a person that is happy in their own marriage with good intentions towards you, any other way that emotional mistress/manstress will help you losing your whole life, cause marriage is more then a contract

[@russellmuscleatl]

Been with my wife 20 years since high school and married 16. Still learning and growing. Dope video 🙏🏾🫡

[@nenajay3174]

I like him. I appreciate that he keeps it simple. Communication is major component in any relationship. It's a must. And as far as sacrifice-of course you have to give something in order to get something BUT when you love someone it should be worth it to you.

[@twinkie101ful]

I want to say that I thoroughly enjoy you guys content!! Glad the question was asked about a mother and her role and her understanding of her place in her sons life. I have 3 sons and I’m a widow now of 6 years, my husband and I had a healthy loving relationship! My sons were daddy boys! So me myself as a single mother, widow and Social Worker/ Therapist find that I’m always seeking advice and guidance for my sons. I will never be able to replace their father but I desire to understand men’s logic to help support them as much as possible. As they are growing now 26, 20 and 17 they are Changing. And I am not the same woman that was married to my husband either. So, you guys provide great content for me as well to become an even more valuable partner for my next relationship. Keep up the amazing work and May you both continue to be blessings ❤

[@Heyu7her3]

Sorry for your loss... sounds like you provided a lot of structure & support. As a therapist, you probably know that your adult sons now need to seek quality mentorship for themselves.

[@1111ScorpQn]

When a man says he doesn’t trust a woman or that there’s no such thing as unconditional love from a woman, what he’s really saying is that he can’t believe that bcs of all the women that has put up with his ish, if you don’t put up with it as well you must not love him and therefore he can’t trust women. Anytime a woman defends or protect herself, or even have the nerve to get fed up, he then decides that she’s unloyal, unfaithful, and never loved him. He then tells his lil friends that he didn’t know she was that dirty.. lol but the truth is that he couldn’t believe she didn’t love herself enough to walk away a long time ago.

[@ProfessOz]

Here we go...

[@SystemChannel]

You’re speaking in absolutes as if this is the case 100% of the time. Sometimes the man was genuinely hurt by a woman he put all his trust into. And yes he does need to learn how to get past it. Some guys don’t trust women because a girl in middle school broke his heart. All I’m saying it’s always more than one reason a man can have trust issues.

[@mjohnson8206]

@@ProfessOzit’s true

[@zero1188]

Sounds as if you choose to deal with the wrong type of men yourself. And when a man tells his point of view you deflect it and make it his fault. Whatever trauma you went through you need to let that go because not all men are your enemie, just the ones you chose. Also theres no such thing as unconditional love outside of family

[@ProfessOz]

@@mjohnson8206 blame the speaker instead of believing him? It only works for men this way.

[@Ms.Butler1988]

He is wonderful!! Love him and his wife!! My favorite couple ❤

[@angelcandelaria6728]

This episode is perfect. I needed this so badly. I detached from my mother the week before thanksgiving because she was acting like an unhealthy little girl. Thank you so much for this ending!

[@valarieford1778]

I dated a guy who said he can't trust women . If you don't trust women go to therapy .Many times the last woman makes it hard for a good woman. He must heal. Hurt men hurt good women. A hurt man should not date at all . If you deliberately hurt a good woman its going to come back you

[@y_chelle]

FACTS!!!

[@jennadvue]

Mine sais that too. He said he can't trust woman so he don't want to get married and he is just going to see who sticks around.

[@SamanthasUniverse]

​@jennadvue Hopefully you're planning to leave him before he ruins your life. Because, if you stay, whatever he does to hurt you, he will say he told you, "he doesn't trust women" and you'll have to admit that he's right. Males tell you what they want and who they are. It's up to women to LISTEN to them AND BELIEVE them, instead of putting on the rose-colored glasses and going into make believe land aka fairy tale land.

[@saintkartier5211]

Y’all do the same thing shut up

[@chaundasumara]

It's easy to say to to therapy and heal. Healing is a continual process. Think about the relationships you've had previously. Reflect upon the men you've hurt. I honestly do not believe most people enter into relationships with the goal of hurting the other person. Yes we've been hurt yet we must own that we've also caused hurt and pain

[@patricepreparedjustforyoue5337]

This episode really blessed me. I’m so proud of you guys and providing a space for healthy and high level conversations to help our men heal. God bless you guys. Wishing you much !! Much!! Success.❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@mlistenbee]

Fantastic guest. Very eye opening. This dude is like the big brother, uncle, you name it that I needed when I was younger. I thank God for this now. I probably wouldn’t have been mature enough to receive it when I was younger.

[@TheVeautifulVeggieLover]

This was, by far, one of the best sessions I've seen. Very professional, simple/practicle, necessary points shared!

[@jaylentv1]

Welcome brother to how women feel being cheated on.👏 Now you know...

[@h_a869]

I wish more people involved their extended family. Extended family is so important. No, mom doesn't have to live with you, we say get her a casita next to ours to be apart of the family. And dad too!!!! I know this seems like such a foreign concept in the US, but extended family matters.

[@BellaKayeLLard]

Thank you ❤ Extended Family Matter 🎉

[@tpeopleway]

This is the truth!

[@natashathomas8354]

I very much agree I actually don't mind

[@detroitkaraoke]

America celebrates individualism which hurts the family unit. Boundaries should still be in place in communal family relations.

[@kayfleming5180]

The conversation surrounding the interference of the mom is huge!!! There are so many mothers who cross boundaries and many son’s are ignorant to it. This causes major issues in the martial relationship. As the mother to an adult son, I’ve already mothered my 30 y/o son. I don’t interfere in his family business. At all. His life is his, not mine. I’m here to support.

[@candacesmith5572]

I have trust issues with men. Some of it from relationship and some from family. But a guy recently asked me how can I expect someone to trust what I say no questions asked? Then turn around and not trust someone else at all? I have some change to do but it was definitely a wake up call. This applies to both. Its so amazing how we are so similar in mindset. Men and women we have to communicate openly

[@amandajunior1604]

Not trusting others means u have baggage. Resolve it n move on. Why do pple hang onto past experiences (thinking they will repeat again?) Coz they lack self confidence. Keep wasting yo time n u will regret. Seeking revenge on otherz coz of yo misdeeds will come back to haunt u - karma. Pour out positive energy n it will bounce back to u. Happy dating!

[@MsNikkiCrucio]

Whew!! Listen I am 58 seconds in and the intro comes across as a primetime syndicated highly anticipated broadcast special! Worthy of CNN and more. Amazing work!!

[@VentureOut___]

My ex always spoke about being fit fem and sub... He loves listening to KS ... I'm a latina woman, and from the beginning I was super fetisheised. It was like a fantasy he had about Mexican woman. I felt humiliated and disrespected. Self esteem too low to leave, but when I finally did. It was like it broke his fantasy apart. He realized you can't buy love and cant treat people poorly, or exploit them. Now he's back to staying it's his car everyday. It's a sad situation. I did everything but when I stoop up to his disrespectful, all of a sudden I was "rebellious"

[@AntoinitaViolette]

Keep loving you! Keep your Godly Standard. Be wise. Know when to move, when to be quiet, when to break the pattern of the way I used to drive, walk or talk. If you need to leave, keep quiet. Go to a shelter...and when he feels scared to be with himself--and to deal with life--let him. Don't dis lose your location. Others, needlessly may be affected/effected, even turn toward his side. TREAT YOURSELF RIGHT

[@tentrickspony8925]

i thoroughly enjoyed this episode

[@sonjadf47]

It’s extremely important to DATE w/INTENTION. If these small issues aren’t discussed during the courtship and if a man never pays attention to the woman he’s with, then he will be disappointed in obtaining a long term relationship with her. Men need to vet their mate very carefully and not base it on what their friends think. The best way to vet is to date only ONE WOMAN AT A TIME.

[@y_chelle]

Preach!!!

[@blacksuccess81]

Oh my God. This is ridiculous

[@y_chelle]

@blacksuccess81 So dating with intention is ridiculous? Discussing small issues during courtship is ridiculous? Vetting a woman is ridiculous? If you think all of this is ridiculous, PLEASE don't date. And you had the nerve to use God - smh 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@loveisthe1]

I am so dealing with this conversation right now. Everything being said is me. Afraid of vulnerability because they don’t even pay my vulnerability any attention. I stay because letting go feels like a failure.

[@VokiZAbsTracT]

Hang in there man. I’m going through the same thing right now. After a 5 year relationship. One of my biggest issues was the vulnerability aspect as well.

[@marjn1030]

loveisthe1 are you dating or married?

[@y_chelle]

​@@marjn1030This is definitely the real question!!!

[@Deettamonique]

Dang i feel the same about men. Smh its hard to trust them too

[@Grace285]

Thanks for providing good content! Much appreciation to the guest, balanced responses delivered with care.

[@nenajay3174]

It’s important to get down to the why-why can’t you trust women? If it’s due to just one situation, you had to realize that humans are imperfect and ALL of us have been let down before. I understand it’s usually harder for men to open up but being betrayed hurts everyone. But if you stay in that guarded energy, you’ll attract situations that reflect that vibration. Also I think too many men have this ideal picture in their minds of what a wife (or their girlfriend) should be. That leaves little room for error. Meanwhile they find nothing wrong with their attractions and occasional steeping out. Men who find that normal for themselves or their male friends, you should expect karma. Part of

[@Christian900]

I shifted my perspective on women when I got into my Freshman year of College , When I seen how women got down at these parties , etc… 🤦🏽‍♂️ Oh yeah, I definitely shifted Then I shift my thinking on women again at age 28 to treat a woman then 33 on a spiritual level So have patience and learn You are always gonna shift your thinking of the opposite sex, for the better of self Also to have a open mind to remind yourself that women aren’t always perfect the way you want them to

[@cmlady0437]

Thank you HI for tapping into more content for the Fellas 💯 We all gonna get there soon enough... with the vital information that's being shared on your YT channel. Looking forward to growth for 2024 in our community 💎

[@shariacook640]

So relatable and insightful! Thank you!!! 💗

[@karenowens4504]

I think one of the most important statement the guest said, he knows that he is a relationship person. I think folks out here getting together and havent committed to wanting to be in a relationship.

[@mhenderson3407]

Such an insightful session! Thank you and Great Job! 🔥🔥🔥

[@zabetke]

This was sooo enlightening I definitely needed to hear all of this 🔥🔥🔥

[@kdelite9268]

Yes go to therapy! I love that message!

[@summertillery7158]

I just wish men understood that if it’s ego that makes you hurt after having your heart broken by infidelity and leaves you not trusting yourself to be open to another relationship is painful women must have an really big ego too. We ask ourselves the same questions we imagine the intimate moment that crushed us. We suffer really bad for a long time. I just don’t understand how it’s possible to believe that we can endure such a thing and not feel the level of hurt that a man feels. It’s not the love that a man continues to have for you after he’s sorry it’s you not being able to love him the way you once did or the way you want to. Please believe it’s a horrific pain for us too.

[@nikkil6908]

Men believe their feelings matter more than women’s.

[@Heyu7her3]

They think we are sub-human.

[@JohnNaija]

No one is talking about women here

[@summertillery7158]

@@JohnNaija i can’t trust women is the thumbnail and it’s a relationship podcast. Unless these are same sex relationships women are apart of this equation. I was just pointing out the obvious that seems to be easily ignored in most conversations regarding infidelity. I wasn’t saying his feelings weren’t valid

[@JohnNaija]

@@summertillery7158 but you still trying to make women the victim and they are not

[@TheLOVEISWHATWENEED]

I’m a mom of two young men… I only offer advice when I need to… I’m not running their home.. I’m focused on living my best life.. I’ve already made my motherly sacrifices

[@iriemo721]

“We have to find the right woman, and have to be the right man” . Here here

[@RK-un6dr]

Yall with the women file for divorce at a higher rate😩😩I wonder how many of those marriages where the men left physically, forcing the woman to eventually file....there are too many factors involved to keep throwing that stat around without considering context.

[@VirgoDluxe]

Agreed. Context is key 🔑

[@blkyogi999]

In today’s society… a woman that filed for divorce is often matched with feelings of liberation. Men still carry a great deal of shame & failure when the relationship isn’t working or giving… most men won’t file due to ego. They don’t want to carry the shame and guilt of a failed marriage. Most wives don’t carry those feelings because society embraces a woman that files and ridicules a man for filling… it’s like saying this man is jumping ship and this goes against the fabric of a Man’s man.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@blkyogi999 HUH? All humans have egos, regardless of gender. This is just another way to excuse men's behaviors. Plus, in a patriarchy, men are systemically treated better socially, politically, & economically than women.

[@cherismacallwood7693]

Exactly, men will be in a whole other relationship, and still won’t file…I’ve seen it time and time again growing up…they literally won’t file and the other woman would accept it (or they will lie), but on the other hand a man would never accept that from a woman and women are less likely to lie about it…

[@latoyawoods4335]

That is so true my ex husband was the one to ultimately make the decision for divorce and asked me to file so it looked like I just went and did it.

[@Christian900]

Stephen Speaks stated that we should be vulnerable w/ women to expose them

[@epiphanyperry1877]

It takes a special kind of single person to give trustworthy advice to their married friends. The single perspective is rarely aligned wuth how married people should behave. Single friends will often encourage you to focus on your own needs which is actually counter-productive to a successful marriage.

[@freeflow2]

Great episode, great guest

[@marialucas2875]

❤What Paul Williams said in the first 2mins of speaking ❤ #BARS THANK YOU🙏🏾

[@SBentley313]

Can we just change the narrative from “struggling” or “sacrifice” to “investment!” We INVEST in what we value and with any investment there lies associated risk.

[@chayilevents7979]

I'm glad this issue was discussed

[@tammiewilkerson7072]

This is so true it makes you feel like you are competing with another woman when it comes to his mother. My ex husband said he didn't know how to balance between his mother and his wife after 7yrs of marriage I filed for the divorce..I am happily ever after.

[@deanlampart1650]

THANKS AGAIN FOR TAKING CARE OF THE MEN, WE HAVE LESS SUPPORT SYSTEM, & USUALLY SUFFER IN SILENCE,SELF PITTY, UNFORGIVENESS DEPRESSION WHILE THE FEMALE MOVE ON NICE 😅& EASY🎉

[@lucretiaanderson4781]

I’m excited about this topic

[@rocknew1624]

As a woman, I really believe that there is a misconception of disrespect and holding a grown male accountable. Im not speaking of calling names and yelling, but sincerely holding an adult accountable and responsible for participating equally in life and the relationship. Can a man speak to this? What is the real difference from your perspective?

[@Heyu7her3]

A good, virtuous man understands this. Many of these men are not that, so they won't be able to.

[@SHOTTAeastcoast]

Saw him on Dear future wifey. This is going to be good

[@donhokianga3480]

Cockadoddle DO!..How TRUE!!! ❤❤

[@letslearn3487]

This is was Solid and So Good‼️

[@TheLOVEISWHATWENEED]

Exactly waiting to long to say something about how you feel allows the other person to think it’s ok to be disrespectful

[@anyanicoleab]

A worthwhile episode!

[@ccartagena2262]

Very enlightening interview 🔥🔥🔥

[@eventyoursofspirits]

31:43 Speaking as a person who has been married for 24 years, do you think the reason nothing is said in the beginning only to bring up later is because a person’s needs and what is important to that person changes over time? Maybe that matter that’s an issue now, wasn’t important in the beginning, but now it’s what they need.

[@BABUIL25]

Awesome show! Much love ❤

[@PlutosMoon22]

47:25 I love how he backed Dr Spirit all while letting Ty and Ryan know they can be a supportive friend. It's important to know the difference between family/ friends supporting you with distractions and comfort and professionals helping to get you the healing and resolve you need.❤

[@excellencyphenom]

Dope Content!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@cliquesnvues]

I guarantee you that no woman is getting a divorce just so they can get the monetary benefit... Most women don't Operate with that Type of mentality. If she's leaving you something In the dynamic is broken.

[@Heyu7her3]

Also, what money do these men have? WHAT GOLD???

[@saintkartier5211]

Child support dumb dumb it’s free money, also women love being victims and love attention positive or negative y’all thrive off ppl feeling bad for you

[@Erica-cf1xb]

Sugar demons plan the exit BEFORE. They huddle together and come up with a play on how they gonna bleed him dry. It's a terrorist attack. Hell Kats.

[@valarieford1778]

Very good interview. He talked about character. Looks are importan, but what about personality. Looks change.

[@talethiadavison1998]

This was an interesting and informative discussion.

[@zandraaina1322]

The problem is most people have HORRIBLE comprehension, so communication sucks between people period. Nobody listening and comprehending

[@Erica-cf1xb]

It's conditioning. The frequency is on different levels. People know how to block out certain noise and perk their ears to other. The noisy factor gets the giggling and sniggles FIRST. It's a manipulation tactic where the only joke is the ones spewing the nonsense.

[@M282i28]

This conversation here is great. Dealing with past hurts it imperative to relationships. Communication is key, so unfortunate that some men don't understand this and choose to cheat instead. Emotional or physical affairs are still cheating.

[@Frenchyk]

Lemme get that autographed copy of that book 📙 fellas. Salute on the hard work.

[@HardlyInitiated]

👉DATING CARDS: hi.hardlyinitiated.com/datingcards

[@jamiejamie330.]

Whew this was 🔥🔥🔥 thank you brothas!!! 💞🙏🏾

[@zetnodevol8457]

"LOVE is SACRAFICE, in ACTION" -Godzun

[@elizabethbrantleyholmes1425]

Great show as always

[@annaadams86ful]

Appreciate this sit down 🪑

[@HardlyInitiated]

👉 Dating Cards: www.hardlyinitiated.com/products/dating-deck