Overworked - Campfire Stories

[@markdavis180]

Favorite military quote: "where is Lee Harvey Oswald now that we really need him?" written on a marine's helmet cover in Vietnam.

[@3asianassassin]

6 feet in the ground

[@MajikalCowpoke]

In my back yard

[@NewPaulActs17]

jesus christ...

[@Jackal_XXX]

That definitely isn’t controversial. I love it.

[@mikemike3523]

This is my boomstick

[@ln7929]

“I surrender and volunteer for treason.” - zapp brannigan

[@joshuahadams]

Six of the mines at Messines weren’t detonated with the rest, either due to changes in the battle, discovery, or cave-in. One unused mine, code named Cage 3, had its detonator set off by lightning striking a power line in July of 1955, thirty eight years after it had been buried. Twelve thousand kilos of explosives buried twenty meters underground went off in an instant under a farm that had been rebuilt since the original battle in 1917. The only casualty was a cow. Edit: oops, meant for this to be a standalone comment. Hard to notice on mobile.

[@lostwizardcat9910]

@@joshuahadamsjust fucking imagine your a mile away, you see lightening. now you hear the loudest fucking thunder you've ever heard, then you feel it. the next thing you notice you smell hamburgers and steak. by the time you realize something is wrong a fucking cow lands on your hood in about 6 pieces

[@ComputerWizard]

@@joshuahadams amazing

[@arbodeltaco]

fun fact: you read that in his voice

[@aarongamboa9768]

"It built like a bistro but handles like a steck house"- zapp brannigan

[@christophercarpenter3889]

"They've got us surrounded, the poor bastards!" -Chreighton Abrams

[@bukitcengkeh1]

"In a man to man fight, The winner is he who has one more round in his Magazine" -Field Marshal Erwin Rommel Desert Fox

[@NewPaulActs17]

i gave you your 250th like

[@anoninunen]

"This is what I call a 'target-rich environment'"

[@kolosmenus]

"Sir, we're surrounded!" "Great, now we can shoot in every direction."

[@helsingS_]

@@bukitcengkeh1 and thats why i always grab a few extra mags.

[@afinoxi]

"The helmet is not good at stopping you from getting a concussion" Something tells me that comment comes from experience. Its not like he got a concussion while illegally off-roading with a military vehicle.

[@Magnus_Timelost]

hmm i wonder lol

[@unpaidcomintern]

*ALLEGEDLY illegaly off-roading with a military vehicle

[@williamdunhan341]

No. That would be against the rules.

[@BrotherMag]

He's not wrong lol

[@demi-doll-animege-sama]

hehe i see what ya did there

[@sabbagels]

"Why are you dodging like this? They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." -Union General John Sedgwick, shortly before being killed by a sniper.

[@Riggy1991]

He was shot and killed halfway through the word 'distance'

[@JuanVazquez-fz7ny]

-hexagonal bullets? get up soldier you are talking nonsese

[@redthree603]

Those snipers took that one personally

[@rayanderson5797]

@@Riggy1991 I've read that the story he didn't finish his sentence was an exaggeration. He was, however, killed very shortly afterward, and by being hit directly between the eyes.

[@therandomdickhead5744]

ouchies

[@JustDevon1]

My favourite military quote is one that was on a lighter in Vietnam "We are the unwilling led by the unqualified doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful"

[@t.a.m.ttheallmightytexan3638]

We are the unwilling led by the unqualified doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful is an amazing quote gonna add that to my little list

[@brak1381]

Top tier shit.

[@brovid-19]

that fucking hurt my soul

[@leolordful]

My favorite is " we have been asked to do so much with so little for so long that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

[@jacobfraser2084]

So, a more real version of, “Why are we here, just to suffer?”

[@sumo1002]

"Their army is so big our country so small where will we find room to bury them all" its a joke that the finnish soldiers used to say during the Winter war

[@ladywaffle2210]

Similar quote: "Great. We have captured just enough ground to bury our dead." Attributed to a Soviet general overlooking the front on the Karlast Peninsula (or something like that)

[@ladybuzzkillington2072]

My favourite military quote is simple. "they want to surrender?" "No they want us to surrender." "Nuts."

[@flynnhunter416]

NUTS!

[@Legitpenguins99]

"NUTS! The Nazis will hear!"

[@ladybuzzkillington2072]

@@Legitpenguins99 lowkey like my 3rd or 4th fav sabaton song. Good to meet you my friend!

[@tacticalsocialist8060]

Ah yes, the quote of the commander of the Battered Bastards of the Bastogne

[@liamgriffin218]

To the German Commander, NUTS! The Allied Commander

[@gearsfan6669]

"it was an incredibly bloody battle in WW1" cuz that totally narrows it down

[@AnAnonymousAuditor]

"Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?"

[@snafubar447]

I mean, he started off by specifically stating that it was the battle of Messines that he was referring to.

[@EEF.GeneralMarkusJKeetz]

Too bad he didn’t make a war joke involving Sabaton… I would have gotten that!

[@TheCorrodedMan]

That whole damn war was nothing but one bloody clusterfuck after another.

[@Freelancer4tehwin]

In France, no less!

[@thisisfine5453]

Lt. Ken Giles, recounting a tank battle in North Africa: “The 75mm main gun is firing, the 37mm secondary gun is firing, but it’s traversed round the wrong way. The Browning is jammed. I am saying, ‘Driver advance’ on the A set, but the driver - who can’t hear me - is reversing. And as I look over the top of the turret, and see 12 enemy tanks, just 50 yards away, someone hands me a cheese sandwich.”

[@railcone568]

Love that. Whoever gave him that sandwich was like "Hey bro, we might not make it out, would you like a cheese sandwich in these trying times?"

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

"Here, tank battles are hungry work."

[@chrisbingley]

This quote perfectly sums up the Britsh attitude to war. I think it's why we keep winning.

[@underpaidmook]

He must be in a Lee tank?

[@hyperdimensionbliss]

@@underpaidmook He was, yes.

[@ln7929]

If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.” - zapp brannigan

[@dr.taxevasion4071]

“She’s built like a stake house but she flies like a bistro”-zapp brannigan

[@walterdenny8143]

"Stop exploding you cowards!" - Zapp Brannigan

[@walterdenny8143]

"Call me cocky, but if there's an alien out there I can't kill, I haven't met him and killed him yet" - Zapp Brannigan

[@sten2184]

I want this on my Tombstone now

[@NewPaulActs17]

@@sten2184 rip phil hartman, your friend billy west has honored your memory well

[@TheRedKing247]

"This is not peace! It is an armistice for 20 years!" - Ferdinand Foch, supreme commander of the Entente forces, upon hearing of the terms of the Treaty of Versailles in June of 1919. World War 2 would be declared 20 years and 2 months later.

[@abetterhandle]

Im convinced history is designed to happen in a pre scripted way and we don't realize it until we look back 100 years.

[@twilight_phantom2969]

@@abetterhandle Nah, humans are just predictable.

[@sitdownlad7918]

@@twilight_phantom2969 Why do people say 'humans' as if they aren't part of humanity

[@rickywalter6707]

Boy did he call that one or what? lol

[@mywither7878]

@@sitdownlad7918 probably a matter of hypocrisy, seperating oneself from the matter so as to not be putting oneself down, despite doing so anyways, just in a dissociative way. You'll find humans are very hypocritical beings.

[@JDTN1985]

"If it wasn't for the bloody Yanks, we could have kept this war going for another 10-20 years." -Mad Jack Churchill

[@sphealingit222]

Who went to war with a Claymore, Longbow, hand grenades and a bagpipe, scored the last official kill in the history of conventional warfare with a longbow against a nazi sergeant, survived battle after battle and took several prisoners, wandered the European countryside for a time slaughtering nazis by the boatload, dropped this quote on us once he met with American troops and got back, and to the shock of all involved, he wasn't Scottish.

[@JDTN1985]

@@sphealingit222 And he was a surfer, which I think may have influenced the creators of Apocalypse Now. While I have no proof that Mad Jack tried to surf while in a combat zone, I also have no proof that didn't and wouldn't be surprised if he did.

[@Callsign_Bear]

@@JDTN1985 I like to think that he did all of that while surfing

[@comradesam3382]

"Any officer widouth a sword is inapprocriately dressed"

[@TheArklyte]

Press USSR to doubt that:D

[@loganwillis2780]

"only when a mosquito lands on your testicle, will you realise theres a way to solve a problem without using violence" - Confucius

[@theultrakid6715]

Take my like you bastard

[@kinuik]

"If you're not willing to bomb your own position, you're not willing to win" - The 70 Maxims of Highly Effective Mercenaries

[@himedo1512]

Real men slap away. Endure the pain

[@EightsofSpades]

@@himedo1512 endure, you mean enjoy?

[@pob_42]

"If an Nvidia factory is not on fire. It will be on fire" - Sseth's Confucius

[@ernstbergerbrent]

Favorite quote about the army: "if it ain't broke, we'll fix it 'til it is."

[@IAmGeeSnap]

this statement has been appropriated by every governmental office that ever existed :@)

[@jakobottsman7470]

I like the idea of "oh hey I survived a booby trap let's wait for the enemy and wipe them out."

[@gewuerzwanze5627]

Just mad enough to work

[@7jum7]

@@mikecampos1193 it used to be called "The British Empire", after all. And GW is a British company, sooo...

[@Silentguy_]

Apparently in the kill reports, the guy that jumped on the grenade even got up and killed one himself when they came to investigate. Taking into account that he probably felt like he just got hit by a train, I consider that pretty damn impressive

[@josephtheoracle3344]

@@Silentguy_ dudes a legend

[@racer927]

@@josephtheoracle3344 I say give him the MoH at this point, at least a Purple Heart.

[@beastly7106]

Those Kevlar helmets might not save you, but they save medical from having to pick up bits of your skull from all over the place so it's easier to put you back together again.

[@a_plague_doctor2393]

I mean You right

[@Nico-lq8ik]

How did you post this a day ago the video came out right now

[@a_plague_doctor2393]

@@Nico-lq8ik Magic Really I don’t know

[@vortiger7375]

@@a_plague_doctor2393 huh

[@a_plague_doctor2393]

@@vortiger7375 DARKNESS

[@gunnyollie1978]

When Chesty Puller attended a demonstration of a Flamethrower that was being adopted into service he said “Where the hell do you attach the bayonet?”

[@snakezase2998]

I want that now maybe even more than a slam fire china lake

[@MerchantrRe4]

@@snakezase2998, jesus Christ that'd been terrifying in Black Ops

[@snakezase2998]

@@MerchantrRe4 even In real life

[@rokairu0-216]

@SkYRIMdstryer19 the Warlord there isn't a Slam fire one, BUT there were 2 dozens pump-action China Lake launchers built during the Vietnam war

[@dodobird679]

3:02 deadass thought that Zach would end the story with "And then he got yelled at by his CO for destroying an expensive piece of radio equipment".

[@GallerySpecter]

Probably did happen but just wasn't talked about

[@spooky4124]

At least he would have one eardrum less to hear the yelling!

[@MiosPanties]

That's the US Military. This was the UK Military. They just picked him up, dusted him off, and handed him a cup of tea and a crumpet.

[@giloguy101]

To add a little detail to that story about the British Soldier stopping the Grenade with his Backpack His name was Matthew Croucher, and he was awarded the George Cross for his act of Bravery also because the shrapnel Breached the battery of the radio in his backpack, it not only got blasted to pieces, but it also caught on fire while he was on top of it

[@grayeaglej]

ROCKET MAN!!! 🚀 :D

[@chipsdubbo4861]

I hear for a brief few moments in Afghanistan, he had his changed to Matthew Clencher.

[@spiceforspice3461]

He sure did Crouch on that grenade

[@matthewhunt2143]

"Video editing is my hobby now" And aren't we all happy that's the case.

[@why2k87]

When he said his favorite quote was from Hayao Miyazaki I deadass thought he was gonna say his favorite quote was "anime was a mistake"

[@samtinkle9076]

I was expecting the Richard Williams quote about craft and art

[@passbyicecube]

It was a troll quote, he never did said that.

[@phantomaviator1318]

@@passbyicecube yeah, it was the Nintendo guy, Araki Hirohito

[@jyxtheberzerking4824]

why would the weeb's favorite quote be a japanese man decrying anime?

[@juanmanuelpenaloza9264]

​@@jyxtheberzerking4824it's kinda like Yamamoto'S "I fear all we've done is awoken a sleeping giant and filled him with a great resolve." It's not real but it may as well be. Basically Miyazaki bemoaned the fact that many people in the anime industry are just cannibalizing tropes and ideas to the point that it's a third level simulacra. Anime is made by people who hate looking at people. That, he actually said.

[@nong333]

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” - U.S. Air Force Manual

[@xxtriplethreat3372]

They need a podcast , I would listen to this all the time!

[@spacecowboy3719]

Yes that would be great

[@KG72740]

But they should still make a youtube version with a Fallout background

[@xxtriplethreat3372]

@@KG72740 oh 100%

[@xxtriplethreat3372]

I was just thinking, upload stuff like this on Spotify too

[@DanteTorn]

The Fallout NV series is basically a podcast. I listen to it halfway like it's one while I'm playing Minecraft.

[@bustedcogitator8954]

During Market Garden a British sergeant I think was asked to surrender his response was "I would love to take you captive but we don't have the space to accommodate you all"

[@RedDeadTrooper]

There's a scene in A Bridge Too Far where a German messenger says "My Commander wishes to offer you a chance to surrender." and one British officer says "Tell him to go to hell" and the messenger is visibly confused so the other chimes in with the comment about not having the room to take the Germans at Arnhem prisoner.

[@rickywalter6707]

I love that scene! XD

[@bustedcogitator8954]

@@RedDeadTrooper I do love how hard they tried to make the movie as historical accurate as possible

[@Bucket_Taylor]

Someone... Someone give Mike a hug. GIVE THIS POOR MAN A HUG!

[@Soggz4]

Give this guy a different outlet than video editing

[@Bucket_Taylor]

@@Soggz4 Thank you Enrico Pucci from Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, glad someone agrees with me.

[@bane_0f_heroesx226]

Best military quote of all time "To the German commander, NUTS" -General McAuliffe, Defense of Bastogne

[@epiclolito8226]

the first deez nuts joke

[@Frk_X]

Watched that episode of band of brothers yesterday lol

[@rivahoukes1554]

NUTS THENAZIES SHALL HEAR.

[@1337ijs]

"Keep them moving, colonel. A man that eloquent has to be saved." -General Patton

[@subtlewhatssubtle]

The best part that, when the *very* confused German officers asked him to clarify, he responded "In plain English? Go to hell."

[@ln7929]

We know nothing about them, their language, their history or what they look like. But we can assume this. They stand for everything we don’t stand for. Also they told me you guys look like dorks.” - Zapp Brannigan

[@walterdenny8143]

"Call me cocky, but if there's an alien out there I can't kill, I haven't met him and killed him yet" - Zapp Brannigan

[@redzeppelin6]

They look like jerks!

[@deslacooda]

"Gentlemen, we have seen too many body bags and ball sacks."

[@Abdega]

@@DopaminedotSeek3rcolonthree “Oh right, I forgot about the battle…”

[@obviouspseudonym9345]

*THEY* LOOK LIKE DORKS!

[@49thcorps_models]

‘There are no atheists in foxholes’ isn’t an argument against atheism, it’s an argument against foxholes.”

[@synderthmc]

Do I want to know what foxholes are?

[@carlwheezerofsouls3273]

@@synderthmc just little dug out chunks of earth used to take cover from grenades and such, build in a shape where if a grenade lands in the foxhole you can always take cover from it while staying inside the hole.

[@wolfehoffmann2697]

@@synderthmc General term for a small fighting hole that provides shelter in fixed defensive positions. Usually holds two men, but some were bigger for machine-gun positions or mortar teams. Better than trenches in an age of mobile warfare because they're more temporary and faster to both dig and later refill. Less permanence to them. Many designs of them included a central "drain" dug into them for grenades to funnel into in case one actually landed in the hole so that the blast and shrapnel would be relatively safely directed upwards and hampered by all the dirt. Also, it's a odd distinction to make as well, but one and two-man fighting holes that are camoflauged for ambushes are called "spiderholes" instead, after the Trapdoor Spider's tactic of creating a burrow and a camouflaged door to lunge out of and attack prey.

[@hariman7727]

God's always there for everyone, and lots of people pray for soldiers. The only key is to not outright reject God's help.

[@Passw0rdYT]

@@hariman7727 soldiers are the people who know best that there is no god there for them.

[@wafflesasthepuncake3624]

“The reason that the American Navy does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the Americans practice chaos on a daily basis.” - Karl Donitz, Nazi German Admiral during WW2

[@roadhouse6999]

"If we don't know what we're doing, then surely the enemy can't predict our future actions!"

[@joenut019]

Honestly that is one of the best explanations on why we beat the IJN.

[@roadhouse6999]

​@@joenut019 We beat the IJN because our industrial capabilities surpassed the Japanese Empire by a thousand fold. It took them a year to produce as much crude oil as we were producing in a day.

[@ravenwing199]

@@roadhouse6999 We also won by luck and Radar. At Savo Island the Japanese had a Battleship a few cruisers and several destroyers sink 5 US DDs and were attacking USS South Dakota who had a power failure. Then the absolute asskicking was reversed when the battleship USS Washington got right up close and Annihilated the Battleship Kirishima then started chasing the smaller ships off inflicting damage to the entire fleet. Also our aces were sent home to train rookies while Japans veteran pilots saw the new guys as fodder and didn't bother talking to them.

[@airplanemaniacgaming7877]

@@ravenwing199 ah, the battle of Iron Bottom Sound. Azur Lane has abilities for those two that when they work together, Washington becomes the shield after South Dakota. it's neat.

[@YukitsuTimes]

The Messines quote is "Gentlemen, I don’t know whether we are going to make history tomorrow, but at any rate we shall change geography." Bit of a joke about two fields of academic study. Very droll considering it was raining body parts when the brits made the ridge.

[@Abdega]

“It’s rainin men! Hallelujah it’s rainin men!”

[@vittoriolepporio122]

@@Abdega underated response

[@Wourghk]

"What are you gonna do, stab me?" - quote from man stabbed

[@ultrafire8079]

“When you don’t take a vacation for 20 years...” What? Mike has been working for 20 YEARS? He doesn’t sound like he’s that old, though. He sounds like he is in his mid-late 20s.

[@MortalWombat047]

Well he served in the army at 18 i believe in the early 2000's.

[@A_Bag_of_Potatoes]

Some states allow you to start working at 13

[@WingMaster562]

That 20 years was a hyperbole. Theyre both around late 30s and are childhood friends/classmates. Zank served straight out of high school in 2004. While Mike went to college for animation, then dropped and proceeded to go to Marines in 2008.

[@aidancutter8281]

Same

[@NewPaulActs17]

@@WingMaster562 "zank"? zach zank?

[@quarterluna]

"I have too many hobbies" Replace "hobbies" with "guns" and it still means the same thing Zack.

[@Brian-tn4cd]

I mean guns are one his hobbies

[@JDTN1985]

Except there is no such thing as too many guns. You can have too few, or just enough, but never can you have too many.

[@afinoxi]

You can have too few guns , but not too many guns.

[@Kesssuli]

@@JDTN1985 Only very unlike situation comes to my mind when you pack them all in rowboat and had to cross a river. Then there is chance that you have too many :D

[@JDTN1985]

@@Kesssuli lol While clever, we don't need to read the explanation you gave to the ATF about how you "lost" your guns.

[@thefernis8735]

"if internet explorer is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, then you're brave enough to ask out your crush." Abraham Lincoln circa. 1862

[@nottherealpaulsmith]

"Every quote on the Internet is real. I verified them all myself." -Saddam Hussein, 2007

[@WingMaster562]

I once met a Philippine Scout Ranger which told me "Fighting local insurgents is more dificult than fighting foreigners. Because those insurgents are your fellow countrymen/brothers, just with a different ideology."

[@thechaosbringer858]

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather acting in spite of it" -Shakesphere

[@reaperkillall2391]

-donald dollal

[@thechaosbringer858]

@@reaperkillall2391 yup

[@Relocklabs]

Shakespeare?

[@thechaosbringer858]

@@Relocklabs I honestly don't know. All I know that it was quoted in a show called "Red Vs Blue" and someone said Shakespeare didn't say it.

[@Relocklabs]

@@thechaosbringer858 I love that show! rooster teeth is great fantastic! he said something similar but not within quotes but I wasn't gonna bust your chops for that

[@sebastianfinch6611]

my favorite quote is from John Paul Jones, and he got surrounded and someone asked for his surrender on a sinking boat and juss said "i have yet to begin to fight" and he too over the british ship and fuckin won

[@FrankieAmadeian.]

You tellin me Led Zep's bassist has the same name a legendary soldier had?

[@njvikesfan0162]

@@FrankieAmadeian. Yes

[@sebastianfinch6611]

@@FrankieAmadeian. yep, its fuckin sick

[@artemisfowl7191]

He was nearly executed for piracy because his flag went down with his ship and his new ship didn't have a flag, warship + no flag = pirates, anyway they fastened the "Serapis" flag out of a no longer needed Union Jack

[@ravenwing199]

Thats not the best part. The best part is this happened in fucking Scotland and the dock town he was next to celebrated him as a crazy badass even if he was their enemy.

[@cheesypaladin3699]

I have always liked the one from the French general who commanded his own firing squad “Soldiers, when I give the command to fire, fire straight at my heart. Wait for the order. It will be my last to you. I protest against my condemnation. I have fought a hundred battles for France, and not one against her ... Soldiers, fire”

[@SyxxPunk]

"Shipmaster! They outnumber us three-to-one!" "Then it is an even fight." -Halo 3, Rtas Vadum being awesome

[@musicni3729]

"You're outnumbered 5-to-1" "Yes, see your mistake?" -Agent 47, HITMAN 3

[@josephstaggs4545]

"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet." - Gen James 'Mad Dog' Mattis aka Chaos Actual. My overly motivated self got that tattooed on me while at a house party.

[@dusty2080]

My dumbass always thought that quote originated with the Sniper from Team Fortress 2

[@theshreddedone8322]

@@dusty2080 hehe

[@yaialai98]

@@dusty2080 Well thats "Be polite, Be efficient and have a plan to kill everyone you meet"

[@dusty2080]

@@yaialai98 Ah fair

[@therandomdickhead5744]

nice

[@mckrunchytoast2469]

"Men, we are surrounded by the enemy. We have the greatest opportunity ever presented an army. We can attack in any direction." Anthony McAuliffe

[@adamriley9241]

I bet Zach was a huge fan of the website Badass of The Week. I remember the one American Marine who tormented the Germans in one town for weeks by himself engaging only in Guerilla Warfare. The Germans thought it was a squad or more but no, just 1 man lobbing grenades over roofs and night raids to keep the Germans on edge. Great site, mostly War Heros but there's other fun stuff on there too. Like the Fire Fighting Tank.

[@JDTN1985]

If we are thinking of the same guy, then his name is Leo Major. He wasn't an American Marine though, he was Canadian. The man was a real life Big Boss/Solid Snake, except his story was true and yet somehow less believable.

[@canobeans1210]

@@JDTN1985 that’s who I was thinking of

[@underpaidmook]

@@JDTN1985 As if often said; Reality is often Unrealistiv.

[@musicni3729]

Context on the Fire fighting tank?

[@JDTN1985]

@@musicni3729 Big Wind was a tank that was retrofitted to fight oil field fires during the first Gulf War. Seriously, look up the article on Badass of the Week. To paraphrase the article: "it looks like a cross between a prototype rail cannon and something out of Michael Bay's secret porn stash"

[@TheGreatThicc]

I remember a British soldier got caught in barbed wire while escaping from a German POW camp, and two soldiers, at gunpoint, threatened to shoot if he didn't come out. He said something to the extent of "I refuse to be shot by a corporal, come back with an officer."

[@frothyjazz7425]

My favorite quote ABOUT war, but from a video game: "War, is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing one another." - Nico Bellic

[@sandy2184]

my fave military quote is : "Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will rust" ~ Sun Tzu

[@Brian-tn4cd]

Could be considered Philosophy or political depending on who you ask, Sun Tzu was kinda influential like that

[@ricknerinfantry]

My buddy fell off a Stryker and broke his wrist. He was asked if he wore his helmet. He said no, and they made him wear full kit anytime he was on top of a Vic there after... Because his wrist would not have broken had he worn a Helmet. So now he can shatter his wrist next time.

[@djawesome3385]

"Never attribute to malice which you can attribute to Stupidity." "Repeated stupidity is often indistinguishable from malice." Basically, if they seem malicious, they could be stupid, but if they are repeatedly stupid, they might as well be malicious.

[@hariman7727]

Managers are the worst at living down to those quotes.

[@isaac6077]

Who ever made that quote was an evil idiot that was trying to get off easy

[@BUBBA_HOETEP]

"Everybodys an atheist until you clog the toilet in somebody else's house" Confucius

[@seighart117]

He habitually wears an expression as if he had determined to drive his head through a brick wall, and was about to do it. A quote about US Grant.

[@joevenespineli6389]

Brickwall Grant

[@smallblock3056]

Not grant, Jackson. Stonewall jackson

[@Fatkiller22]

Colonel Birger Eriksen during the Battle of Drøbak Sound "Either I will be Decorated or Court Martialed. Fire!"

[@Analog_Mind47]

Mike You are One Workaholic, you've even managed to make a business out of hanging out with your best friend and playing video games

[@lanereynolds4567]

"Hard pressed on my right. My Center is Yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation Excellent, I am attacking." Ferdinand Foch, at the battle of Marne. One of my favorite quotes for the military.

[@Ace_in_Exile_231]

My favorite military quote is from Robert Oppenheimer in which he said "I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture the Bhagavad Gita. Vishnu is trying to persuade the prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds. ' I supposed we all felt that, one way or another.”

[@WingMaster562]

I have become deaf, sayer of "whaattt?"

[@IAmGeeSnap]

@@WingMaster562 says man with ruptured ear drum who fell on the grenade...

[@Abdega]

“Now we’re all sons of bitches”- Kenneth Bainbridge to Oppenheimer immediately after they both observed an atomic bomb test

[@davidoftheforest]

my word is 'poontang'

[@TheChaoticToaster]

Not Marine quotes, but there are a ton of Ancient Spartan Quotes that are very similar to the modern US Marine quotes. One good example is when Philip II of Macedon sent a message to the Spartans saying “If I invade Lakonia you will be destroyed, never to rise again.” The Spartans replied with one word: “If.”

[@KevinSanchez-rd7um]

"Spartans, lay down your weapons and you will be spared!" "Come and take them!"

[@en-men-lu-ana6870]

The Spartans in general were great at snarky comments.

[@snakezase2998]

@@en-men-lu-ana6870 they are just amazing

[@TheArkTheArkTheArk]

There’s a reason “Laconic humor” is literally named after Lakonia

[@DredgenStorm]

The Spartans, in my opinion, are to this day the best example of a military for in human history.

[@yaialai98]

"Dont bail on the land you've just bombed" -From an USAF manual if i recall correctly

[@christophercarpenter3889]

Sound Advice

[@gavinradoff4917]

"Don't worry boys, we're bringing them into 40mm range" -Crewmember aboard the Fletcher class destroyer U.S.S. Johnston while charging towards an entire Japanese fleet off the island of Samar

[@hariman7727]

That is my all time favorite naval battle. I'm surprised the American ships didn't sink due to the weight of the big brass balls on tall the soldiers on those ships. Also... the channel "Drachinifel" has THE best summary of The Battle of Samar.

[@afinoxi]

3:40 fun fact : This event actually is portrayed in the anime Youjo Senki episode 10 , except it's the Germans that do the mission.

[@WingMaster562]

Also in Valiant Hearts and Valkyria Chronicles

[@julian7247]

"germans"

[@ergifem]

I "pulled off" that type of Work-School-Sleep schedule for a few months back in 2019. I lost my mind and I don't know how you pull that off for longer than a few months. I remember getting migraines a lot and I'm sure most of my body was caffeine. I had hallucinations that someone was telling me to join my local Satanic Temple for some reason.

[@dusty2080]

Are you taking care of yourself now?

[@ergifem]

@@dusty2080 oh yeah. I took some time off school and started doing a reduced load. I'm fine now.

[@dusty2080]

@@ergifem Good to hear

[@Ropetrick6]

I mean, if you have a local Satanic Temple branch, there's pretty much no downside to joining. You can check if you have a local branch here: thesatanictemple.com/pages/find-chapter Though an odd amount of them are located in Texas, which may help in the lawsuit against Texas.

[@dariusimpey1691]

Someone could make a entire game just using mike and zachs content or make a unofficial dlc for fallout new Vegas

[@WingMaster562]

There are a couple of mods already exists that try to take the mantle, one of which is featured in the channel in the epsiode titled "A Zach of my own"

[@zay2742]

"If you prick us, shall we not bleed? And if you wrong us, shall we not want revenge?" - William Shakespeare

[@UNION_JACK_THE_RIPPER]

Shylock merchant of Venice one of my favourite plays my him

[@forthexp8649]

"If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you" has to be one of my favorite quotes of all time. It very accurately conveys my feelings for others.

[@peoplesrepublicofchina847]

“Retreat, Hell we just got here”-Lloyd W. Williams

[@1nicerboyz206]

I was like "wait a second, M-country, thats a vehicle I haven't heard of before, let's google that" and it took like 2 seconds for me to realise that it was just a shitty music-pun...

[@justsomechapinatophat5517]

"Retreat? Hell we just got here!" -US Marine Major Lloyd W. Williams to a French soldier when told to retreat due to advancing German forces in World War 1

[@soap9277]

"When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-schmancy tanks. We had sticks! Two sticks, and a rock for the whole platoon, and we had to share the rock!" -Sergeant Major Avery Johnson

[@IAmGeeSnap]

reminds me of the Stabbity-Stab. Bangity-Bang. Boomity-Boom. Tankety-Tank. joke :@)

[@Comkill117]

“Usually the lord works in mysterious ways, but not today. This here is 66 tons of HE spewing divine intervention! If God is love, than you can call me Cupid!” - Also Sgt. Johnson

[@cacokid1489]

Sometimes I like to picture Mike and Zach as two pre-war ghouls that remember everything from before the bombs dropped and still act like themselves.

[@danrr9498]

Every time i hear about Alvin York immediately "82nd all the way" starts playing in my head. By Sabaton.

[@affectiveacid9375]

And now theirs 2 of us.

[@bibility7562]

And now there is three of us

[@tadein.6528]

You mean four of us?

[@synthwavecat96]

INTO THE FIRES OF HELL, THE ARGONNE, A HERO TO BE ENTERED THE WAR FROM OVER THE SEAS INTERVENE 1918 ALL THE WAY FROM TENNESSEE HILL 223

[@jamingjamo3415]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM SABATON

[@sigmatracing421]

mike's mental breakdown can be easily made to fit his character in this series!

[@cslpchr]

"Bless you prison, bless you for being in my life. For there, lying upon the rotting prison straw, I came to realize that the object of life is not prosperity as we are made to believe, but the maturity of the human soul" -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

[@hariman7727]

The Gulag Archipelago should be required reading in ALL schools at about high school level classes.

[@Biodeamon]

people be like "radio operators are the virgins of the military" chad military operator: hold my backpack

[@sphealingit222]

"Actually don't, I need it to do a sick sticky jump."

[@ReichensteiN]

Finally... *more campfire stories*

[@christiankneupper7011]

“In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.” Zapp Brannigan

[@CrimsonFox36]

"Never interrupt your opponent when they're making a mistake." -Napoleon Bonaparte

[@CosplayingHistoryNerd]

“Out of ammo, god save the king”- Maj. Digby at the battle of Arnhem

[@KumaNoire]

I don't remember the exact quote or who said it, but my favorite is: "Peace and war were once mutually exclusive concepts. Now we live in an age where war can be just down the road from peace and neither knows the other exists".

[@brovid-19]

my favorite quote will always be "sometimes when i'm all alone and can't sleep at night i like to cover myself in vaseline and pretend im a slug in the kitchen."

[@TheLonelyBrit]

3:40 For more information on this quote go watch Hill 60. It's about the Australian sappers who dug out the mines & planted the TNT.

[@rayman56]

Patton is always great for a few quotes, favorite being "May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't."

[@TheRyderShotgunn]

zach: my favorite quote is from hayao miyazaki me: is it "anime was a mistake"? (it wasnt)

[@WingMaster562]

Because Miyazaki never said that, it's a meme of a myth that was properly debunked years ago.

[@GrifKilla97]

Mike's story is very reminiscent of something my grandfather would tell me: "You need to take a break every now and then otherwise a break will take you." I never understood it until I got a full time job myself and had no issues working 6 days a week, the only time seeing my family would be the hour between getting home from work, and going to bed to go to work in the morning. Then one day the migraines started, I thought I just needed a new prescription for my glasses so I got that checked, all good, and couldn't figure out what it was, oh well, I'll just take paracetamol and keep working. Then one day I passed out at work, and was in hospital for close to a month because I was so burnt out my body just shut down. Take a break everyone, you can afford a day off even if you think you can't. Because I'm still paying for refusing to have a day off to this day.

[@PXCharon]

"My centre is giving way, my right is retreating, excellent situation, I am attacking." Ferdinand Foch at the first battle of Marne, 1914

[@Straynjuh]

The best quote, "Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day, set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

[@mu7es]

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents."- HP Lovecraft

[@LoneWolf-kw3ol]

"this is the greatest plan in the history of plans!" -The planners for Operation Market Garden

[@TheArkTheArkTheArk]

“This is a plan without flaw nor possibility of error!” -A descriptive text from Fallen London

[@averyso6669]

I’m glad there’s more stories because I watched literally every single one on staff duty like a week ago and was super bummed about it

[@PsychoTOAO]

You two are the pinnacle of the middle-class of intellectualism. So easily able to broadcast the ideas that will inspire generations. Your experiences and reactions to them are so goddamn valuable, I love you both. Live for a thousand years, please.

[@glenngriffon8032]

I recently said something to a friend who was feeling really depressed and after i said it I paused and I was like wow that's actually a good line. And what I said was "Never sacrifice who you are for what you want, it will leave you feeling even more empty than before".

[@painthegreat]

"Be polite, be professional, and have a plan to kill everyone you meet" James N. Mattis

[@CanadianTeaMaker]

"Sir, they have us surrounded!" "Excellent! Now we can fire in any direction!"

[@comic-nick]

"Bullshit now makes for great stories later."

[@JayHog1992]

I still remember that quote from Halo 3: "Sir, they got us outnumbered, three to one!" "Then it's an even fight."

[@margohughes7074]

Has anyone said that one quote taken from a Soviet Junior Lt.’s journal? “One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine”

[@hariman7727]

Sometimes, American Doctrine for warfare falls back to one of two maxims: "IMPROVISE TO STAY ALIVE!" and "F*@# IT WE'RE GOING DOWN FIGHTING! ... wait, how did we win this?!" If you want a good example of this, look up the channel "Drachinifel" and their video on "The battle of Samar". Taffy 3 (the task force) should have been steamrolled by the main chunk of the Japanese fleet. They weren't, and punched above their weight to a ridiculous degree.

[@lfla0179]

Using PPE in civilian life is more like "giving the family a chance of having an open casket funeral", because you are dying either way. I heard a conversation in the lines of: -"A 1200 lb girder fell on his head, a helmet wouldn't have made a single IOTA of a difference." - "No helmet, no insurance." - "He was crushed by a beam so large that crushed a truck along with him! His chest was 2 inches thick when he hit the floor!" - "Not my problem".

[@roanferguson8873]

8 months late, but here's my favorite quote. "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword has obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

[@AdMerIin]

During the Battle of D Day, a Canadian solider went ahead of the pack and jumped into an enemy half track that was being used as a radio vehicle. The commander inside tossed a grenade, it exploded, destroying the radio, killing him, and getting shrapnel in Leo's eye. He was offered a purple heart and an honourable discharge for the enemy documents he secured, his response was "Nah, I kinda look like a pirate now" and thus began the most prolific career of a single frontline solider in my humble opinion. Most people needed at least a squad to liberate an entire town, or capture an entire regiment of enemies. Leo just needed a submachine gun in each hand and some water so he didn't dry out his throat with all the yelling

[@WingMaster562]

Meanwhile here the Philippines, soldiers and policemen kept getting reprimanded because theyre using their ballistic/kevlar helmets instead of motorcycle helmet. And the public couldnt understand that kevlar helmets cannot protect from impact, just shrapnel.

[@zombiebane7235]

One of my favorite quotes comes from CS Lewis in the late 1940s (a bit long, but applicable to today): In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. ‘How are we to live in an atomic age?’ I am tempted to reply: ‘Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.’ In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors-anesthetics; but we have that still. It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty. This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things-praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts-not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.

[@lordkiza8838]

Damm never been this early I can listen to it at work and watch it on the way home niii e

[@BrotherMag]

I watched it during lunch

[@TheNukedNacho]

“Temper, temper.” -One of the accompanying ships to the USS Wisconsin, after the Iowa-class was hit for the first time during the Korean War. This hit led to the Wisconsin unleashing a full broadside with its NINE 16inch Mark 7 cannons, deleting the artillery emplacement that had struck it, and the surrounding hill.