Iyanla: Fix My Abusive Marriage | Full Episode | OWN

Iyanla travels to the Dallas area to support a couple in the midst of a serious marriage crisis. OJ and Janetria both admit that their frequent fights turn physical, but neither seems to think this is a real problem -- until Iyanla arrives on their couch and asks them to reenact their latest fight.
(Original Air Date: November 16, 2013 ). Watch more of Iyanla Fix My Life on the WatchOWN app and visit: www.oprah.com/...
#IyanlaFixMyLife #OWN #OprahWinfreyNetwork
About Iylana Fix My Life : Author and inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant goes behind closed doors and deep inside people's lives for emotional conversations. She helps reveal secrets, uncover truth
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Iyanla: Fix My Abusive Marriage | Full Episode | OWN
• Iyanla: Fix My Abusive...
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[@reesycasi]

"She can be lazy at times"!!?? No, she's emotionally drained because of your abusive self! Big difference, sir!

[@Geminicricketi]

Lazy

[@eccho1]

That's exactly it. Men drain tf out of women and expect us to be their mothers and take care of them

[@Geminicricketi]

Lmao. I almost commented the same thing again. Lazy wives blame emotions for not listening to husband and being argumentative about it as well. Makes sense 🤷🏽‍♀️. Emotionally drained 😂😂😂😂. How about not “draining” where there’s no garbage disposal?

[@user-if1uu9pg6z]

​@@GeminicricketiYOU DON'T HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT BE IMMATURE AND MAKING YOURSELVES LOOK LIKE FOOLS

[@mimigabriel8318]

@@Geminicricketiso her being lazy is a good reason for him to hit her 🤣🤣 when that happens to your daughter make sure you tell her “stop being lazy”

[@Sisi_Summers]

You can't fix an abusive marriage, YOU LEAVE!!

[@user-dz4lz6df6l]

Very true.

[@BraveOne7]

This!!!

[@t.w.8174]

Now THIS is the only comment needed on this thread

[@daunwright458]

Str8888 talk

[@tiaralacey]

Rightttttttttttttt

[@karenjumper6228]

OMG when she held her like a mother holds her baby!!

[@GoldenRoots-qr5bs]

That part made my for real cry ...

[@rethabilenxumalo9742]

🥺🥺🥺

[@DarlingNikki2]

@@GoldenRoots-qr5bs Lord, yes, the tears! So many have never had that and it makes me weep. So much pain and sorrow because no one cared enough to just hold someone when they needed it most...

[@bossb8989]

@@DarlingNikki2I now remember faking illness multiple times as a child/young girl in order to have my mother hug me like that.

[@685JONESY]

Yes it broke my heart. As a woman who has been through a lot of the same the actual heart pain ache I felt was so real.

[@sincerelykj709]

" im the bad guy, I'm the big bad wolf" ummmmm you are 😂

[@sharondalawrence3213]

I literally said this out loud verbatim!!

[@sincerelykj709]

@@sharondalawrence3213 like you beating on this woman, what makes you think you not the bad guy!?😂😂

[@myb4208]

like YES ABSOLUTELY. He’s so close yet so far away.

[@YvetteLopez-ry2yz]

Waeryuioxcvbunuinkioaxz❤😅

[@Similo]

People with aggressive anger issues will make up reasons to soothe them why they acted violently, especially in relationships. In his head it was her fault in the first place.

[@Bee-lieve623]

She is better off by herself, than with an abusive man who doesn't respect or value her

[@missprizzy1]

She definitely didn't leave him

[@michealtyler9702]

Yet let that silly bih mess up her own house and not listen somewhere else....

[@camdenhunt7565]

​@missprizzy1 then she'll be leaving in a casket. He's going to go too far one day.

[@shortclips6288]

They stayed...

[@Zlervo]

​@missprizzy1 , well, if anything happens to her, that's on her. She decided to stay.

[@user-il2tj6px7h]

This is so sad! Her self-esteem is gone! She’s so broken!!!

[@jayrodriguez4119]

Exactly how his type wants you.

[@user-ut5py2bv2r]

So broken

[@felisabrown3886]

Indeed 😞

[@specialkay4329]

He reminds me of my Son's father. Size,, face. The only thing different is no marriage. Thank God. After years of telling nobody. When my Son was four, I called my Mama. She said " Come home". I did.

[@KiaraMcFolley]

I’m so glad you’re still here to tell your story. ❤️

[@iiiMUNiiiQUE]

That ‘come home’ has saved lives… 🙏🏾

[@froonamission1013]

"Come home", deepest words we can hear in the middle of trauma

[@MsXenyy1]

Mamas always safe us ❤ thank God you are safe

[@sylvestergray6707]

We love you Queen stay strong

[@theclamartin4832]

She's protecting her children from her own childhood but hurting them by exposing them to abuse

[@wannettamoore8128]

Facts

[@shaeb.9627]

Amen.

[@montrealemagee7340]

Yes

[@miakarakaki4062]

Thank you... From me

[@bentnotbroken4192]

When you’re in it you don’t realize it’s abuse at first…. For me, I was willing to “take” so the children had a 2 parent household…. Now that I left him I see that in itself was abusive parenting

[@daughterofthemosthighgod863]

For him to be choking and she’s just waiting for it to be over tells me that happened countless times before. How can someone be use to this? Lord have mercy 👏🏽

[@Geminicricketi]

I don’t think so if I know someone will choke me out, I’m not going to test them by being combative. She the problem

[@ichi5974]

@@Geminicricketiyou’re a bird

[@ISaidWhatWhatinThe]

@@GeminicricketiI think that’s scary to hear that she’s the problem. Both parties have things to work on, but even if she has an attitude, there is no excuse for putting your hands on someone. Walk away bc things could go too far way too fast. Also what happens if the children see you? How do you explain to them that you were mad at mom’s words so much so you decide to get physical? If you made snarky remarks to a significant other, they don’t have the right to touch you bc they are upset.

[@nyla0598]

@@Geminicricketidid you seriously say that this man choking her is HER FAULT!!very disgusting thing to say

[@memebrazy2295]

He looks like that type that if she tries to leave he will unalive her.

[@marciasmith4812]

Straight facts 💯 smh

[@andreasmith8509]

With the quickness

[@krystalk8105]

Even though he spoke to wanting to separate to get himself together and the wife tells him she doesn’t want him to leave…

[@memebrazy2295]

@@krystalk8105 yea that was hard to hear because if it’s dangerous for y’all to be together then separation is needed in my opinion

[@ruthhailu9886]

May the Lord protect her 🥺💕

[@kkain123]

The way he re-enacted it, you can tell how he was in that moment.

[@shericurtis1694]

yes

[@khayliajarrett5694]

I felt that look!!

[@ashleyw.6702]

@ 7:45 ... the look on his face. Scary!

[@jaymemwilliams]

Yep scary

[@QueenSugar72]

He scares me and I'm not even in the relationship with him! He's twice her size and acts like she has to shut up and obey! Yes man, you ARE the big bad wolf!!!

[@sherineofficial7851]

Listennnnnnn omg😟🥲I feel for sis and I hope she escape this with her life in tact!

[@helpkelp3595]

The way he is talking and acting on tv, id be terrified to know how much worse it gets at home! Id be running for the hills

[@QueenSugar72]

@@helpkelp3595 💯💯💯

[@ariesown40]

The way Iyanla looks him in his eye when she says he chokes her...whew!!!

[@margaretjones1686]

Very powerful ‼️‼️ whew

[@bludiva27]

Pure disgust.

[@ericag.7337]

Because baby! I got scared for him!

[@Nurse_Nash]

Whew!

[@ariesown40]

@ericag.7337 Listen!! Had me scared too lol

[@denissky3129]

The wife is gorgeous ❤

[@Jai64life]

That's what I said

[@helena3631]

Everyone gets the same black man even the preferences

[@dortheamcnulty3098]

Yes she is and a good man would love to have her

[@karenearle5507]

Yes she is very pretty.

[@jeezywhiz44]

She is!

[@pinkpetals601]

He needed to be locked up!

[@denissky3129]

Amen to that.

[@NaturallyCanisha]

Yesssssss

[@aliciamoore963]

He probably would've been had she reported him to the authorities.

[@HangLowKing]

That's the first thing I said when reading the title. Then she mentioned choking.... straight to jail man...

[@PlusBeauty-vs6kt]

Naw jail is a temporary bandaid he need some stitches so he have a reminder to keep them hands to himself

[@queenjordiisgems]

When Iyanla put her in her lap, hugged her and let her cry it out😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 I know that was so much needed for her inner child. 🥹🥹😭😭😭😭

[@donyettabailey9727]

He's blaming her for his lack of self control. She needs to leave him ASAP. He doesn't see anything wrong with himself.

[@shoppersdrugmartcanuck]

Iyanla is a master. This episode probably helped many people.

[@PeacefulRainbow-hq3bs]

I'm looking at It now❤

[@sabby1802]

MANY

[@LadyTee1464]

My husband was verbally abusive I just filed for divorce this past week

[@guineyozzy5589]

Go on u!!👏 best of luck that takes strength

[@talcareyifill5937]

Good for you ...nothing is wrong being alone

[@ellebailey5358]

❤❤

[@tatifelton6919]

Congrats on your first step you're going to do just fine.. God got you!❤

[@jaymemwilliams]

How's it going? Did you stick with the divorce or retract it?

[@teehee83]

When she said she let him choke her just to get it over with THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT

[@brenale_heartsJesus]

It was so eerie hearing her say that 😢 like dang what if one day he stopped until she was DEAD 😳

[@7thfret.]

Not "scrumpt" 😂 I scrumpted too! Ain't no hands that could choke my neck and I actively wait for the person to finish. Rage, hold my beer!!! 😂

[@onthatilegenesis8952]

Scrumpting over here😂

[@7thfret.]

​@@onthatilegenesis8952you too 😂 Chile, my rage is raging seeing his big butt choking her.

[@umadox41]

Scary. She was just way too calm, like it's an insignificant every day occurrence. Like wtf 🤯? And the way he wouldn't take accountability but had to rope her in for equal blame? Like, dude you choke your wife regularly!!! How does that sound normal to you? 😡😡😡😡😡

[@sandrarice4197]

He picks an argument over trivial matters!!! She was doing the cooking. If he doesn't like the fact that she took the strainer out of the kitchen sink then he needs to do the cooking!!! She needs to leave this man like yesterday!!! He needs help!!!

[@quadrishabazz]

Agreed. I may be wrong, but it seems to me like he instigates arguments to find a "reason" to get physical with her.

[@isidoraveronica]

And they still together smh

[@michealtyler9702]

Or the silly mfer need to listen and stop having an attitude when she the one fuking up....

[@camdenhunt7565]

Its giving controlling, hes a control freak

[@tracyleesmith781]

And he should've done better communication about the pipe problem with his wife. She is not a mind reader.

[@ummzaynab7702]

I just googled this couple. The mom was murdered about 3 years ago by a serial killer. Condolences to them for their loss. I cant imagine. Her life has so many tragedies.

[@D-Will2k]

😢🙏🙏

[@myajanell2504]

so heartbreaking 🥺

[@hahadarrie]

Please pray, “no weapon formed against me shall prosper”. Cover yourselves in the blood of Jesus for we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and rulers of dark places. May God rest her soul.

[@MW-rb3ny]

What???? Omg those poor children

[@MW-rb3ny]

I think k it was Janetria’s mom who was murdered.

[@LateBloomer1111]

Boy when she coddled the wife and allowed her to just cry like a baby I losted it 😢😭😭😭😭

[@Geminicricketi]

Lmao. So her husband telling her to use a strainer, then her saying no is cool ? Yall will make great wives one day 😵‍💫🙄🙄🙄

[@morenikeogunsusi9579]

No he asked why she took it out the sink. Although it was common sense she could've just answered. Abusers won't care how polite you answer a question even if you aren't getting smart if they don't like.the answer they will still put hands on you. Either way it still wasn't worth abusing his wife. Bc his freedom and life isn't worth it. Just as her life isn't worth her staying with that man and him possibly killing her from his abuse if he doesn't change his ways. If she didn't know what the plumber said he could have told her, easily reminded her or just put it back in the sink and said babe let's come up with a different way to strain the stuff so food don't get in the sink we don't want it to clog up again. It's about the approach ( on both ends) and coming up with a solution with the disrespect. It's not that hard. If you love someone the change shouldn't be that hard to do.

[@Geminicricketi]

@@morenikeogunsusi9579 a man is supposed to lead in a relationship. He don’t need to explain everything that happened. She should just listen. EVERY man wants his wife to follow his lead. Most women now want to argue n challenge their man. N of course abuse is an overreaction. Still avoidable

[@vickyserr]

@@Geminicricketiyou need help. I can’t believe you think his behaviour is ok. Or maybe you are just a troll, and just hate women 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Freedomofspeechisajoke]

@@GeminicricketiYou can’t lead if you’re not a good leader. Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you automatically qualified to lead. And you are not a leader!

[@amandameredith]

Seeing her embrace that woman like that brought me to tears... I could really use a hug like that. So beautiful

[@CoutureEatzz]

🫂🫂🤗 sending you a good virtual hug luv ❤

[@amandameredith]

@@CoutureEatzz thank you. Thats was very sweet of you. Sending virtual hug back sis 🥰

[@shaeb.9627]

Sending many hugs, love & prayers your way… God Bless You!❤️

[@shanellwilliams4584]

Sending you hugs sis ❤

[@sherrellmartin458]

Hug! Hug! Hug, Sis! love you! 🙏🏾💜

[@zuritribe4844]

WHEN SHE HELD THAT WOMAN OH THAT FELT NICE!!!

[@jahaanislam1256]

When i tell you i felt that hug through the phone gave me chills

[@van5135]

I felt like she was hugging me cause Lord I need a warm hug

[@myb4208]

that’s what she needed. She needs a mom so bad.

[@queenjordiisgems]

I cried so hard😭😭😭

[@user-ec5uh3qs1f]

I bet so many women would love to have iyanla in their home to help them navigate through this abuse situation😢

[@user-ec5uh3qs1f]

I was saying that because this happened to me and I had to go to court seem like every other month. And I didn't get done with all of this mess until my child was 18 years old. Still trying to put me through a court situation and make my daughter choose who she want to be what it was just miserable and right now to this day she's about to be 21 and she feels like she has to choose a side all the time and I'm just working with her through this situation.

[@randi.blue.cherai511]

​@@user-ec5uh3qs1f I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless!! I love you. But, God loves you BEST!! ❤❤

[@slaughtergang.]

Yep

[@Geminicricketi]

They need Kevin Samuels. To teach the men not to tolerate this disrespect n never stoop so low to physical violence. N teach women how to respect n listen to their husbands. All the broken women of this comment section only have “reactive” solutions. Like leave him, he should be I. Jail, he scary. While not thinking of how to avoid conflict in the first place. Was he wrong to tell her to use a strainer?

[@Geminicricketi]

@@user-ec5uh3qs1fn what did u do wrong 🙄🤔

[@blane6592]

His name got the Audacity to be OJ…

[@erikaarnold4780]

🤣

[@deggap]

TUH!!

[@maaikemartens6086]

😂😂😂

[@jpprophete1988]

I was about to say the same exact thing.

[@aliciaaa6021]

Lmfaoo I thought Iyanla was making a joke when she first said oj

[@rickabeauxx7420]

This episode is about to make me cry. If anybody HAS to speak to you disrespectfully or fight you they hate you! They want to beat you down spiritually and physically. I hope she is in a better place now.

[@van5135]

Yes my husband does this to me

[@natashaboyer6420]

Divorce him before he unalive you ​@@van5135

[@lorebay2593]

Sir, You are absolutely correct.

[@michealtyler9702]

If a bih can't listen to simple things she hates you.

[@shandasa10]

@van5135 same here, but now I've decided to leave. Best decision I'm making.

[@specialkay4329]

Him: Hi, my name is O.J Me: Excuse me, "Taxi"!!!

[@lilmommy1402]

Word

[@Meohmy724]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@7thfret.]

Chile😂😂😂😂

[@misguidedpearls7456]

Yup

[@t.c.5456]

😂right😂

[@desiree.s]

A man willing to go on tv to say he’s an abusive man is a scary man!

[@jazzieladie5709]

U ain’t never lied about that!

[@claresehill1373]

Facts. 😢

[@TrinetteNash]

She needs help disappearing

[@graciouslybusisiwe248]

Noo he's willing to go on TV because he understood and knew that he needs help, he is hete to be helped unlike other abusers who don't understand that they are abusers and they need help

[@Moniethemom]

Opposite tbh he’s not hiding it

[@user-ew3zw8gg8y]

I had an ex named OJ he would beat me so bad it happened from 20-21 years old I left in November 2020 and never looked back am 24 now and happily married. Ladies don’t stay leave the first time period

[@latia7139]

Glad you got out of that situation and found happiness ❤

[@Polly-uj3ky]

So proud of you sis. I left too and I will never look back.

[@erinjohnson4273]

I'm so proud of you for leaving and finding real love. Love does not hurt!

[@GratitudeGriot]

3 years out of an abusive relationship and married before your brain is fully developed…I pray for your continued healing ❤

[@Geminicricketi]

Your new husband lets u disrespect him? Y did Oj have to put hands on you. Just curious?

[@jaysays2642]

Her mother is STUNNING !!!!

[@hisqueenmsroyalty9890]

She is and unfortunately she was stabbed to death last year😢

[@jaysays2642]

@@hisqueenmsroyalty9890 omg that is awful 😞

[@kekesdivinity9687]

I was looking for this comment ❤

[@vickyserr]

@@hisqueenmsroyalty9890heartbreaking😞😞😞

[@EssenceofCoils]

The way Iyanla initially looked at him 😳... I couldn't WAIT for her to tear off in his behind 😅. I was so anxious.

[@Seemydimples]

The only way to be saved from any abusive situation is.....🥁 TO SECRETLY LEAVE AND DON'T RETURN 💯

[@krimezofkolor4683]

THE only way ! I’m a living witness . Ain’t no way around it ‼️

[@dianapatterson449]

How does he NOT UNDERSTAND how he is the bad guy?

[@ARTBYMASTERFULDESIGN]

Crazy how we never addressed how he said in the very beginning she says things in a way that trigger him. I went thru it with my mother and she would emotionally manipulate people to that boiling point and then play innocent or victim and point the finger. Sometimes its both parties that's wrong.

[@ARTBYMASTERFULDESIGN]

People who are numb with unhealed trauma can have the tendency to pull emotion out of others just to feel something. Im glad he took accountability fully. Some people hurt with their words and some people hurt with their hands. Both are just as psychologically damaging.

[@drknow1997]

@@ARTBYMASTERFULDESIGNhello?!!! There isn’t anything she can say that gives him the right to be triggered and then choke her. Walk out the house and leave!

[@camdenhunt7565]

They never do until several people that aren't their partner point it out. My ex didn't apologize until other people noticed what he was doing.

[@camdenhunt7565]

​@ARTBYMASTERFULDESIGN thats not it in this case, I'm sorry. If children can have conflict without putting their hands on each other, so can grown adults.

[@shernette32]

This is why back in the day the elders would ask about about family when their childern start dating..

[@True14614]

Some family would tell her to stay divorce was frowned upon way back when and an embarrassment to the family some women back then just didn’t have the means to leave

[@Mom.3]

THIS IS MY TRUTH! And if you haven’t been through it.. you will never know and I PRAY that you never will.❤

[@TheIslandBelle]

It was my TRUTH 4 years ago, and I knew I would die if I didn’t get out. I had too many close calls. Glad, I did! Now, I’m in law school, building my own life, healing with my kid, and hoping to advocate for other domestic violence victims & survivors in the future!

[@toschajeffries8833]

Yes....I agree I survive abuse myself

[@blckqueen6002]

This is my truth currently

[@toschajeffries8833]

@@blckqueen6002 Praying that you will get out that situation soon no one deserves to be abuse.

[@truthhurts7045]

@@blckqueen6002you don’t deserve it sis. You can do great without him.

[@EfuaNartekuor_3]

Dear Lord please protect this young lady! The fact that she is still married to him is bothersome 😢.

[@tampaflbeastforlife]

please keep these LYANLA videos coming its so powerful to watch I've seen so many women who I now stay in a toxic relationship like this who don't tell they family or friends just fake being a happy person because they feel they can't get someone better or my favorite they do not want to start all over with someone new smh

[@ntombisepeng8519]

Iyanla Vanzant.😅😅

[@user-jn9sf7qt3h]

It’s a very terrifying situation to try to leave. That’s why you have to have a plan or a woman can end up in a tragedy. Women still need to do what it takes to get herself and especially her children away from abuse!

[@ambernicole1692]

😊

[@ntombisepeng8519]

😢😢😢😢😢 I'm so emotional because I experienced 😭 😢 abuse in a worse form, verbally, socially, spiritually, psychologically , physically, and verbally. I stayed for 15 years thinking he would change, but he didn't.

[@sandrafernandez3839]

Why did Mrs. Vanzant stop these shows? She was helping a lot of people but there were also a lot of American making noise about her being too forceful with her therapy and sometimes rushed..is that true? Because I only view her as the person that present or introduces therapy but enforces a life-time of healing. She never made it seem like she was a solution but just there to offer coping and healing .

[@immaculatenjeri6603]

That hug was motherly ,she needed it💯

[@mochampagnelives1793]

The way she stared at him when she said he chokes her.

[@yosea8701]

I hope his family is watching him admit his abusive ways so they dont be in court talking about how good he is of a man, husband, etc.

[@kayk2899]

This🎯🎯

[@akinyianderson4075]

@@kayk2899 Sadly some family will not see him as the abuser but the victim

[@kayk2899]

@@akinyianderson4075 Yep, it’s a losing battle.

[@Geminicricketi]

@@kayk2899 he seem like a good dude with a lazy wife. U have to check your flaws before u point to Someone else

[@Geminicricketi]

@@akinyianderson4075 if everyone else never sees the person being violent. None of his ex girlfriends or anyone else, that means he not a violent person. Not excusing his actions but she is the one that pushes him to that level of frustration. He need to stay away before he end up in jail

[@tetegriffiths1956]

Why she only have to clean if you think the house clean. Clean your self. She is beautiful she deserves better than him

[@mrs.j.j.5121]

This show is also for the men/husbands/BD's who are at the recieving end of DV in silence.They've been raised to not hit or disrespect any woman

[@jayrodriguez4119]

You don't have to hit a woman or disrespect her to walk away and never look back.

[@theREALESTrealistUNPOPULAR]

Please. They can go unless they’re her dependent

[@MimiB1974]

No… it’s not. A man can literally stop a woman from choking him. In most cases a woman cannot

[@Geminicricketi]

@@theREALESTrealistUNPOPULARno sympathy? Yall a part of the problem

[@theREALESTrealistUNPOPULAR]

@@Geminicricketi sympathy for what? He’s a grown man

[@yemedemure414]

One thing about Iyanla she hug you real good then correct and convict you immediately after! 😂😂😂😂😂❤❤❤

[@rebeccamock6308]

She can forgive her husband but has a hard time forgiving her mother.

[@helena3631]

Women forgive men quicker than women they make identifed

[@vivlagabster]

Well I can understand her, mothers are supposed to protect their children and her mother couldn’t do that AND never gave her an example of a good healthy relationship with men. She CHOSE to have her and failed at it. So no she doesn’t have to forgive her mother for not being a good mom

[@vivlagabster]

@@helena3631what

[@chynnanicole2]

She doesn’t have to forgive either one of her. Both of them are supposed to protect her and care for her. They both failed her. But the mother one is even that more worse bc that’s her child

[@PureNapture]

@@vivlagabsternonsense, the reality is mothers are still human beings.

[@naemull2055]

Protect Iyanla at all cost, the world needs her rightttt now ❤

[@daniellehill8040]

When she held her while she cried got me teary eyes🥺

[@smilesw3712]

The way he talk is scary …

[@specialkay4329]

What you hear is the watered down tv version. I can tell you that what you ain't heard, is what's said and done when visitors go home, and the " prison cell door slams shut". Trust. He becomes way more scary.

[@blaq7892]

When you attach yoself to a man that you know is a life long Bully. His father was a Bully 24:56. Those bully attributes are what attracted these women.

[@desireed3741]

We didnt see anything. I can only imagine how he acted towards her when the cameras left since most of the show turned out being about him and his secret abuse being exposed by her.

[@camdenhunt7565]

The "we have problems" NO YOU HAVE PROBLEMS to even think its ok to put your hands on her!!!

[@tbishop2249]

Yes. It brought me to tears to hear how she “causes her own abuse” by not doing things when they “should be done” or “she has a slick mouth”

[@SALENATHOMAS]

She needs to love herself and her kids more than she loves him and that marriage

[@breskiboo]

The wife’s mother has done some good work on herself; she takes accountability for her not being a mother when her daughter needed her.

[@breskiboo]

@@loretta.o1806 yeah, I found her Instagram & has a post about service was served or is being served. I’m glad they were at least able to get their relationship back on track.

[@x-Clover-x]

Sadly she was murdered by a serial killer. :( wow!

[@breskiboo]

@@x-Clover-x yes, I heard..so sad.

[@knightcool7769]

@@x-Clover-xWhat!?!!

[@mcdowellt34]

Every time they get ready to confess that it's an abusive situation they keep saying I now know as if they don't know that hitting someone is abuse

[@aprilm4423]

They DON'T realize hitting someone else is abuse. I'm only part way through. There's no telling what either of them saw growing up. Haven't seen it all...

[@bippityboppityboo2u]

I didn't realize what my cousin told me was a game was molestation until someone spelled it out for me. You don't know what you don't know.

[@mcdowellt34]

@bippityboppityboo5963 but how old was you? These are adults, you mean to tell me with all the examples of domestic abuse thats out here , neither of them realized that this was abuse?

[@bippityboppityboo2u]

@@mcdowellt34 some of us are professionals making comments on KZbin. Trust me, the human brains doesn't work that way with most . Your lack of awareness I'm sure is why you aren't that type of professional...you don't know what you're talking about

[@helpkelp3595]

@@mcdowellt34when you don't know how to love or be loved, often times you might unknowingly find yourself in an abusive relationship and think that abuse is just one of the trials and tribulations of marriage. For some people it's normal, they think it'll get better eventually

[@donnabethea8164]

That one choke you just waiting for to be over is gonna be over for real

[@504girl3rd]

"I was waiting for it to be over." This is so sad😢

[@stushk9]

That hug that Iyanla gave her, I felt that through the screen. ❤

[@enitachipoyi1377]

the way the mom instinctively shuffles away from OJ when he says he chokes her daughter, I felt that

[@cookingwtheword1346]

The husband wants to go because he doesn't trust himself. And she's doesn't want him to go. Lord, I pray nothing happens to her and the kids. I wish one of them would put the kids 1st.

[@camdenhunt7565]

She needs to let him go or shes leaving in a casket.

[@cynthiahayes3962]

He didn't want to go. He wants to stay where his behavior is acceptable because this is how he 'functions'.

[@somarsomar5125]

She needs to put HERSELF FIRST. If she is not ok the children have no one!!

[@Geminicricketi]

@@somarsomar5125 what? Isn’t that y they was arguing in the first place? Her not listening to her husband. Her not giving him hot food. U can’t be selfish in a marriage 🙄. Horrible advice

[@azebenoit8842]

She's LAZY😮 but she's putting yr food in front of you n needs to heat it TOO if it's cold you must be kidding me!!!!

[@user-ut5py2bv2r]

That's sad

[@QueenSugar72]

That part!

[@carleeb2344]

That part was triggering for me. Like get up and heat it yourself

[@shaneecuevas7990]

EXACTLY!

[@kalimbaayinde25]

Exactly. This is BM!!! They aren’t happy with you because you aren’t a WW.

[@chi-gemini2951]

Abusive men always try to justify their actions by saying “she was talking to me crazy with an attitude” No, you should not talk crazy to your spouse, but that does not justify you actually putting your hands on me!! Words and fist are not comparable.

[@TheNameIsJazmyn]

Words are worse.

[@alexzmichele]

@@TheNameIsJazmynwords are worse than physically hurting your spouse?

[@TheNameIsJazmyn]

@@alexzmichele I’m not talking about spousal abuse, I’m saying in general. Read correctly.

[@CoffeeCrazy]

@@TheNameIsJazmynI agree, words are worse because people never see or acknowledge the damage. When physical abuse takes place there are immediate physical results that verify the act. But words have the ability to shape our lives and stay with us much longer than a bruise. Words are so powerful they have the ability to shape nations, and laws. If you have ever been in a situation where someone verbally tears you down, every word is like a blow to the gut. It does not have to be a spouse it can be a parent. This is why I tell my children that I love them because not only do they need to feel it, it must be confessed verbally to complete the package of love.

[@CoffeeCrazy]

@@alexzmichele why would you think that physical abuse is worse? So I would say the physical abuse can kill you physically, and verbal abuse can kill you emotionally and spiritually and even can in some cases kill you physically. Cause severe depression, ideation of self harm, etc. what’s interesting is that in scripture it tells us that every idle word will be accounted for, that there is power in the tongue, death and life.

[@Tiguenation]

Letting a mf choke you is mad crazy

[@zuritribe4844]

YEA THAT HURT WHEN SHE SAID SHE JUST WAITS FOR IT TO BE OVER

[@justlue380]

Mad Crazy!!! 😕 And Sad!

[@dortheamcnulty3098]

Yes do not put your freaking hand on me EVER I SAID EVER my Father is DEAD and he never hit me PERIOR

[@dcharles7712]

You tell them sleep with one eye open...they don't quint...

[@toschajeffries8833]

So sad

[@karenearle5507]

He needs to be alone. She needs to go somewhere, where he can't find her.

[@WhitneyBeeLibra]

Her smiling is a defensive mechanism. Keeping the children around him whether that's dad or not isn't safe from what it looks like. Poor thing.

[@devion7709]

He’s so embarrassed and ashamed he can’t even reenact what he did

[@tamaragore437]

Its not that he's ashamed. He's a coward and thats being revealed. He KNOWS what he's doing is wrong and he's used to getting away with it. He's not used to being held accountable. Thats why he can't reenact his abuse.

[@mikeanderson9613]

I hope and pray that this man get the help that he need. And that she get her self esteem back

[@lobengone477]

He doesn’t have a grip on his emotions: out of control

[@MichelleMarchia-fk9es]

The wife needed to leave the husband years ago!!!!!!

[@ThePecanTan]

Absolutely! I imagine he's always been this way. Sadly she's used to toxicity and trauma because of her childhood. Trauma bonding is real. A man like this isn't attracted to mentally healthy women who know their worth.

[@desij.7487]

They are still married

[@blaseblasebih5706]

​@@desij.7487 please tell me that things have gotten better 😢

[@greaterishe7197]

​@@ThePecanTanLove your comment ❤️

[@Geminicricketi]

He should have left her 2 stars for wife

[@annsleighdenise5615]

“Should not be defied” is crazy.

[@MaterialGworlKodi]

This poor woman. And she is so sweet. Hate that it's some evil people in this world.

[@user-tf9kv6hc5y]

💜💜💜💜💜 I survived Domestic Abuse I am free My Heart Aches for other women 😢 Moral of the true story is that never again Will Any male specices cause me Hurt, STOP HARMING WOMAN & CHILDREN 🙌🏾

[@Geminicricketi]

Ok so if your husband told u to use a strainer, what would your answer be? Or if he asked u to reheat his food? Would u?

[@breskiboo]

I appreciate Iyanla telling her to look at her mother’s faults through a different prospective..that they both lead abusive lives that will affect their children.

[@yvonnejohnson]

Her self esteem is shattered because of the abuse when she was young, but she have to know that it was not her fault, she was a victim...until she stop blaming herself she will continue to allow him to talk to her and treat her like that.

[@DelicaZeum]

Lord have mercy!!! Janetra is spiritually broken. It’s like her spirit is crushed from years of trauma and abandonment. Lord please heal her.

[@aprilpolite521]

Been there with ex husband had 2 babies thank you lord I got out 25 years ago I know I would not be here if I stayed 🙏🏻 this bring back so many memories 😢

[@michellelaguerre8760]

👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿

[@Zlervo]

Well done for being courageous.

[@Jai64life]

She is very pretty, and I think he may be insecure. You would think that because he KNOWS her past, he would do better. Yet, her own husband abuses her. Woooow!

[@helena3631]

He probably think she wouldn’t be with someone like him smh these men sick in they head

[@quichequiche4274]

Most times, when they know your past, they treat you worse.

[@TheIslandBelle]

@@quichequiche4274learned that hard way

[@quichequiche4274]

@@TheIslandBelle Unfortunately, me too.

[@camdenhunt7565]

Sometimes the past gives them a guide on what they can get away with. Most recent ex knew former ex put his hands on me so he mostly just stuck to yelling and verbal abuse.

[@apoetsingsjonerouselacy]

he admitted it.. he said he doesn't know if his abuse will happen again..scarey!!!!!

[@chynnanicole2]

When she held her like a child I wanted to cry. She really needed that and probably still does ❤

[@leevidal8597]

I did cry😢😢😢

[@melindawilson4470]

I feel so sorry for this beautiful young lady. She doesn’t understand her worth and value.

[@Geminicricketi]

What man wants a wife that don’t listen to him? Take a survey n that will give u a real look at her worth

[@jamicabagby7272]

Please don't stay for the children because you may not be there for them after this.😢😢😢I grew up with seeing this.

[@natgojo]

Iyanla is just amazing. I learn so much from these.

[@zuritribe4844]

EVERYTIME!!

[@anjelamckenzie]

Iyanla goes all the way in!!! When she sat that woman on her lap and let her cry, it was so moving! ❤

[@BeccaMalvo]

So touching when she had her sit on her lap.

[@primarytruetrappboysoul6504]

Girl leave before he have your head in between a washing machine.. run fast and don’t look back.

[@zuritribe4844]

IYANLA FACE WHEN THEY HELD THEIR HANDS TOGETHER THAT WAS MY FACE TOO!!

[@teehee83]

Just PURE DISGUST

[@shaepayne]

😂😂😂I went looking for this comment lmao

[@DarlingNikki2]

Her face said it all lol! Looking at him like, 'Niqqa, do you see this?' 😆

[@whitneyquinn815]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 it messed her up!

[@zuritribe4844]

@@DarlingNikki2 right!!!

[@paballobutelezi5532]

Iyanla is doing the Lord's work...wow! This is good for some of us to watch because we learning a lot.

[@seensay2132]

Hmmmm this episode is doing as much harm as good. No woman should be subjected to abuse. But now how many women viewing will use this to project undue anger and resentment to all Men?

[@diamonddb]

​@seensay2132 huh? Ur a special type of slow

[@videehoe2269]

Iyanla making them act it out is soooooooooo amazing to me. Top tier counseling . She’s the boss of all bosses

[@GoddessPower777]

you are the bad guy sir!!! no matter why she says or how much she ignores you, you don’t have the right to abuse a woman.

[@LifesMagicalJourney]

Our subconscious minds don't know the difference. All he heard was, be like your father! I'm grateful they're getting the help they need to heal! 🙏🏾

[@HungoverInHighHeels]

I really cried watching Iyanla cradle that poor woman.

[@queenjordiisgems]

Sameeeee😭😭😭😭😭😭 she needed that😭😭😭

[@sherrykirkland2955]

When she put her on her lap and hugged her...❤

[@mashelbr]

Beloved *LOVE DOESN'T HAVE TO HURT*

[@AHSongbird27]

Iyanna’s episodes really show the power and purpose of professional counseling.

[@roshondaflorence8106]

Jesusssss that sit on her lap and crying took me out😭😭😭

[@jettiecollier7011]

I wish i had someone to talk to just like this. Cause still to this day. I have depression and anxiety of not loving myself from a 27year relationship. And finally leave without anything. Omg 😢

[@greaterishe7197]

🌹

[@theclamartin4832]

That hug from iyanla was priceless ❤❤

[@onthatilegenesis8952]

imagine being chokef for a sink prop😮. This one will beat you up for taking a bath when he is not there. They start like that, for the smallest of things

[@Mom.3]

I’ve had an eardrum ruptured for wayyyy less. It happens.. more than you think.

[@isidoraveronica]

@@Mom.3wow are you okay?

[@michealtyler9702]

Imagine being too stupid to know why you need to use the sink strainer....

[@camdenhunt7565]

Got smacked for forgetting something from the dollar store. Its the smallest things.

[@auzy2u845]

​@@Mom.3🙏

[@Willahbean]

When I tell you I want one of them good ol mama hugs from Ms. Iyanla 🤗🤗🤗

[@LucyLu-bg9gt]

SAME 🥹😁

[@charmagneq]

Laaaawd, she is beautiful. She doesn’t deserve that, not because she’s beautiful, but because she’s a human being who deserves respect and SAFE love. The beauty is the cherry on top ❤

[@mashelbr]

I felt so much compassion for the lady.... beloved, rejection is such a powerful stronghold... it can keep you bound for years 😮😮😮😮 💔 💔

[@melindawilson4470]

I have seen her page on Facebook and they are still together. Prayerfully they are doing better.

[@beequeen9958]

F Facebook name?!