Rehab Monologue

So, a Scotsman, a pastor and a junkie walk into a bar, right?..

[@bridgetfarley9236]

This man saved my life as well. Speaking truth on alcholsiom. 3 years sober. To everyone struggling keep fighting we are all worth it.

[@stickytones6891]

4 days in

[@chrissyhammond9089]

@@stickytones6891 awesome, I sincerely hope that you are still sober!!💪🙏👍💖😁

[@denisepaulsenful]

@@stickytones6891 and even if you slip, you just up and start again. Just know that life is always going to be better and more productive without it.

[@stickytones6891]

@@chrissyhammond9089 thank u for ur kind words and yes still going strong 16 days sober and feeling great

[@stickytones6891]

@@denisepaulsenful thank u so much for the encouragement.... Im still going strong one day at a time

[@mozo73]

"..good luck Courtney, and no joke..." That is a real gentleman .

[@PanzerFalcon2232]

You can tell he was irked by the audience laughing when he mentioned he was sober, it's a very long and difficult path

[@lydia3713]

Yeah this, I would have clapped for him. Not an addict but I have enough people with addiction/in recovery in my family to know it is not easy. It felt like the audience didn't know what to do though. 😒

[@EliteWalkThroughs]

this man helped me alot during hard times.

[@haaleyy]

He is so genuine. You couldn't expect this from any other late night talk show host - or any talk show host, really. I loved that he wished Courtney luck instead of making fun of her, because that's probably what she needed.

[@thekebabking.1065]

Went to my first AA meeting today and it’s inspiring to hear how so many others have turned their lives around. Peace and happiness to all of you. 👍

[@iantheguy1108]

What was the first meeting like? I am close to going myself

[@JonathanIsham]

@@iantheguy1108 When you are ready brother, you will be welcomed with open arms.

[@iantheguy1108]

@@JonathanIsham is the first time really awkward?

[@sofiamarie9136]

@@iantheguy1108 Pretty much everyone’s first meeting feels awkward…that’s the beautiful thing, that everyone there has gone through what you’re going through now. 8 years later I can still remember my first meeting…and I am so beyond grateful that I walked into that meeting, totally broken. AA put me back together again. I hope you were able to go, and if not, it’s never too late. Never. Peace, my friend. 🙏🏾

[@sofiamarie9136]

@Dale Smith, I hope you are still going and have celebrated a year!

[@kevinnelson66]

Craig would be a great motivational speaker/life coach. His life story would make for a great biopic.

[@Snaakie83]

He wrote books

[@vantheman1238]

Kevin Nelson you are so right. Watched this motivational speaker the other day from Manchester. He was so in your face. There was no subtlety or guile. Craig would be brilliant.

[@zak-a-roo264]

He was awesome on Bert Kreishers podcast last week, well worth the watch!

[@navylaks2]

He was a great motivational Late night host

[@nemonobody6011]

I pretty much cried when he said “Good luck, Courtney” because it was so sincere. A lot of people look down on you, think they can make jokes about you if your an addict, especially if you’re a celebrity and I am sick of seeing that still happening today. People need to know more about addiction, seriously….

[@theoldhermit2601]

I appreciate your words on this. I'm not an addict but am condemned as one, as I'm disabled and have to take opioids for a bone disease. It's absolutely disgusting that so many people are brushed off as "addicts" and left to suffer They're not addicts, they're people with addictions, and even just getting a small perspective on the stigma against people with addictions breaks my heart ❤️

[@TheDoctor1225]

A lot of that, I believe, comes from the part that media plays in only putting forth the stories of "the addicts" without telling you that these are specifically the people who walked into doing drugs or getting hooked on them with their eyes wide open and made a choice. (Lest I be thought judgmental, let's remember that this is the 21st century - 99% of the people out there have had it drummed into their heads since they were kids that drugs are dangerous/addicting/not good for you. It's not like this is a new thing) That being said, that's a totally different thing than someone who became hooked on a medication or who has to take medications because of a medical condition or the like. The sad part is that most people can't be bothered to do anything but paint "addicts" with that very large brush and just write them all off as being the same.

[@TheDoctor1225]

I may be a year late but I will say that I don''t know how much people may make fun of "addicts" or "addiction" as much as they make fun of the over the top antics of people like Courtney Love who live their life in the public eye, acting in violent and outlandish ways all while seeming - seeming being the operative word - to enjoy pumping whatever they do into their veins and not caring who gets hurt by it. Granted - there are people (I know a few) to whom anyone who does any kind of drug is an "addict" and deserves whatever they get because "it was their choice." Of course, most of these people are blackout drunks or smoke weed until they can't see straight, but that's a different thing altogether, according to them. A lot of it also depends on who it is, too - Courtney Love? She's a worthless addict, crazy nutcase. Robin Williams? Oh, he's a beloved comedian, the greatest of all time that everyone loves and cherishes and is so sad that he's gone - while conveniently overlooking his multiple stints with alcoholism, rampant drug use, etc, etc. She's an easy target - and people are very selective with their compassion, it seems. In her case, forever being connected to Kurt Cobain and him chewing on the end of a shotgun probably didn't do wonders for her psyche, either. :(

[@colinfletcher7520]

Folks who have never been addicted to drugs/booze. Don’t understand how hard it is

[@JRC_86]

Agree. The laughing is so rude.

[@chrissyhammond9089]

@@JRC_86 I thought so too, it "sounds" too perfect, the "laughter" the same within every phrase...wondering if it might be recorded? BUT, generally speaking SO misunderstood ignorance right..but, I completely understand having people JUDGE it's really quite tragic anyway but that especially after this long people, let alone "doctor's" are really clueless!!!!!🤔

[@deanb024]

@@JRC_86 they don't know any better. They also can't believe that we addicts actually do crap like this. Dark humor is one of the excellent ways that we get thru it. Don't hate them, pray for them.

[@raylars752]

Craig has three of the most heartfelt monologues that I've ever heard on TV , Letterman has some too but Craig's two recovery monologues and the Eulogy of His Mother are really amazing , to Me . So , Thank You Sir .

[@libertyresearch-iu4fy]

You should watch Craig's eulogy for his father as well. kzbin.info/www/bejne/hJ3VdZyoidaWfdU

[@anandadaquino3604]

I'm Brazilian, so KZbin recommend me a video of him and Adriana Lima... I started to watch his videos... This man is a such a kind ❤️ I'm alcoholic and his monologues... To his mom, dad... So beautiful. He is so blessed 💕

[@KaraEl-K]

The one eulogizing his father was very touching as well. Miss his show greatly

[@rajatbhat7799]

Craig had some really really golden moments. His episode without audience with Stepehn fry, his episodes with desmond tutu, his eulogieies, heartfelt monologues, travelogues. He and Conan's shows have made a big part of my personalities. And im always thankful for that

[@aks19880]

His video on the boston shootout was amazing too

[@prucarter6815]

I love how Craig can make a serious monologue and yet still make some jokes. I thought the audience in this show was better than his show for his Brittany Spears monologue, I felt they didn't laugh mindlessly at anything ... though there were a couple of awkward moments...

[@emergencyCALL911]

This one's a lot lighter than that one, though, so it probably didn't throw them as much.

[@jsharp1701]

This one is definitely a stand-up bit. He was dead-serious about Britney Spears. He used some of this material in that one but he was telling his story for real. This audience reaction matched with the Britney monologue would have been thoroughly insensitive.

[@darksnow07]

LOL "If you love Jenga, you'll love rehab!"

[@nawal8821]

this is the formula for late night shows, the warm up comedian tells the audience to laugh and interact with the host about everything and hosts usually stick to jokes so its ok but with craig he always has something genuine and heartfelt to say so you can see how the audience are conflicted and confused about him breaking the formula and whether they should laugh or not and that's what makes him a genius

[@willem9688]

"Warm up comedian.."

[@GlennDavey]

These monologues in hindsight might have been the most valuable contribution he made during his tenure as a late-night host.

[@nahuelma97]

Love how he ended it

[@olrijamo]

Will miss his wit and humor. Laughed many a night at his antics

[@Lzuniga317]

+olrijamo Craig Ferguson has a new show on the History Channel Tuesdays a 9:00 Eastern called Join or Die.

[@SiliconBong]

Used to love it in new zealand because we'd get it around noon, when most people assumed any kids wouldn't appreciate the salacious innuendo.

[@carmenjiamin]

did anyone catch his wink after he said he knows the metric system? he's so charming!

[@kevinmontgomery1383]

No. For some reason video was blurry.

[@violettehicks9363]

i’m pretty sure Scotland uses the metric system all the time

[@xsarabearx1]

i agree and i remember him doing the same with britney. he didnt make fun of her instead he pointed out that she has a problem and we shouldnt be bashing her bc that only makes it worse and so on. he def is an amazing man

[@paulburke6785]

Comic:So a Scot, a pastor, & a junkie walks into a bar… Heckler: Don’t you mean WALK into a bar?! Comic: NO! It’s all the same person!

[@ihaveyourpants3697]

No one will see this so late but he's not joking. I just got out of rehab today. Prayers to those still suffering

[@nfullenwider]

Good luck friend.

[@vivekteega]

Hope you are doing well friend, best wishes to you

[@jakelenhart1456]

Hope you’re still fighting the good fight

[@Dietlind1]

"it was just a low hedge, i've tripped over bigger hedges when i was drunk" haha that is soooo funny for some reason :)

[@ashabdrah]

Benjamin Franklin: Well done is better than well said This man happens to be both. #CraigFerguson

[@StrategicWealthLLC]

So true... because when all is said and done, more is said than done.

[@scvn2812]

There's a lot of consternation about what socially responsible comedy looks like: how does one be funny without being a bully? This is a masterclass and it even long predates "power" and "punching up/punching down" entering the lexicon.

[@shaneglassburn2090]

Seven+ years sober for me.

[@ryantiller5624]

As a Canadian, I loved that Craig took our piss regularly. Everyone pretends it's some utopia up here, not true. Craig ripping on us made us feel real. You're not part of the clique until your mates are ripping on you.

[@markharrisllb]

I once met a well known British journalist in an AA meeting who said he once had some alcoholic fruit cake, the next things he knew he was an out and out drunk again. Him being journalist of course I believed him and I’ve never had fruit cake since.

[@irondogon]

If you like jenga you'll love rehab! Brilliant.

[@MrSpaceplatypus]

Class act!

[@vieta1972]

Craig Ferguson = CLASS ACT.... Seems like a really good guy... I wish him all the best.

[@irondogon]

I know, but it's easier to forgive them when I think of it as nerves - they're laughing because they don't know what else to do.

[@nyclplaywrite]

I love you, Craig!

[@VCT3333]

Drug dealers are the only Americans who use the metric system... So true.

[@Snaakie83]

NASA does, as do every other serious scientists.

[@extenebrislux]

There were pirates following that cake 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@SingeSabre]

haha, love this guy, thanks for the humours and wisdom, Craig!

[@chrissullivan40]

Brilliant monologue.

[@notforone]

This audience is extremely annoying. Nervous or not, use your brains please. And there is extreme respect for Craig in my heart. I know he's made a 100 mistakes in the past- the thing is he realises it and even better, has taken steps to make himself better. Even better? He makes sure to try and help others when he can. He has a heart of gold. The worst shame is the one you feel from yourself.

[@kevinmontgomery1383]

Maha Don't be too hard on yourself. Leave that to others more qualified!

[@jacobjorgenson9285]

AA meetings are like this . Lots of laughter . Look up Anthony Hopkins talks

[@AddyKalyar]

I agree the man is really humble and sincere but there is one other guy who is like him and that's COCO '

[@Gonkawonga]

he already became a legend in Hong Kong and China among intellectuals..

[@evgenijhard]

Russia too. Red alert!

[@michaelsimms8138]

Class act.

[@vivekteega]

"Have you noticed by the way that drug dealers are the only people in America who've embraced the metric system, why is that?" LMAO!!!!!!

[@Oranguice81]

Fuck!!! We SO Need SO Much more of this Wisdom out here in the Blether-verse from Craigie Ferg!!!!!

[@potmki6601]

God I love Craig Ferguson.

[@loniehilton1564]

7 years sober

[@Spriterist]

Back then his voice reminds me of the sean connery voice he does now haha

[@hunkydude322]

well, they say the individual that has a drug or alcohol addiction is the last person on earth to know it, but once that person know it he or she will do something about it to get back on track of life for those that are still lost in this world we can only pray for them.

[@ac9milan]

Great story, great lesson, great ending.

[@purelocaldirectory8702]

he looks like al pacino here in parts

[@plushpuppy32]

I believe the laughter is nervous laughter. Many people laugh when the feel uncomfortable or nervous.

[@sdmadd2]

"If you like Jenga, you'll love rehab." :D

[@singingfan]

he's become such an amazing human being. speaks with the sincerity. i cant help but get annoyed though when he tries to say something serious and gets a laugh instead, when its uncalled for.

[@emergencyCALL911]

It's the mark of being exceptional. People don't know quite how to react to you.

[@chrissyhammond9089]

Ignorance about this disease even among the so called "medical professionals" now THAT'S a joke!!

[@rituliini1]

I just adore Craig! He is so charming:) Funny thing is that I'm from Finland and we use the metric system:D

[@RUSSTRADAMUS]

"so I gave her 60 bxu & took 2 grams" (Lmao) CRAIG is the man

[@vantheman1238]

Clever man

[@C0M0estas]

Definitely. I don't know if non-fans realize that or they only care to hate things that they don't like and understand.

[@mattmurray3183]

7163 days Clean today.

[@Message167]

the fucking metric system joke was so good I'm mad

[@tapiten]

No anonymity in Hollywood

[@chiyo-chanholocaust8143]

We were like the set up to a joke all we had to do was walk into a bar but we couldn't walk into a bar!

[@michaelbadour8455]

Craig did a great job here explaining his position on alcoholism. It was of course interjected with humor. To this day, I still believe the Brittany Spears incidents were deliberate publicity stunts, to boost her fame. It had little to do with alcoholism?. Just a young woman seeking fame in risque situations. Craig may have been sincere, however if he was, he got played some?. In the end Craig read a script from CBS. I admire him for his knowledge of the rehabilitative process. Very important. The stigma attached to alcoholism runs very deep, and should never be taken lightly or on a network celebrity show. Society will always show prejudice, in ignorance, of this chronic disease. Why?. Because over half of the world's population is caught in it's trap!. Bravo Mr. Ferguson for the effort. Some of us knew what what you meant?. Knowledge isn't always power among pogues!. God Bless

[@katiePetsy]

Britney was already one of the most famous people around. I highly doubt she needed to fake incidents. Everything that happened around that time led to her father gaining control of her finances (which has been a recent battle for her)

[@jacobjorgenson9285]

She is a multi multi millionaire, and STILL a mess 🤷‍♂️

[@duxnihilo]

The metric system is used everywhere in the world except for three countries - USA, Liberia and Myanmar. It's funny how he mocks the system (being Scottish, he used the system his whole life).

[@NathanShines]

I love all the sober comments! 457 days!

[@DeeDonner]

Fine example of sobriety in action

[@bartzed4305]

imagine a host of any show using word "junkie" nowadays

[@Dabomb1237]

TV shows have "laugh" signs, guys, to the prompt the audience!

[@Carl-y2g]

The title doesn't do it justice

[@exile220ify]

LOL I'm glad he included us Canadians in his anti-Metric rant heh heh heh!

[@jerzeyguy71]

I am now 4 months sober, over 20 years of drinking alcohol every day got to my health, had to stop.

[@mguerra79]

The brutal sound of the truth in the end is abismal...

[@foxopossum]

Hahahahahahah 😂😂😂😂 9 years in Jan. Best life!

[@OCD450]

The system is messed up. Help those who cant help themseleves

[@chrissyhammond9089]

Exactly!!!!

[@googleisgay3289]

"You knew you were well," is a very is a good deed. I do wonder, though, whatever happened to the Church of Scientology?

[@seppyq3672]

How can alcoholics get sober and stayb that way. And I try to moderate drinking and cant do it for long.

[@kitesalet]

Just willpower and having something to do everytime. I find gaming for hours a form of avoiding substances, especially if it's online and competitive

[@chrissyhammond9089]

@@kitesalet "willpower" is an ABSOLUTE joke!! "Alcoholism" IS a disease, and THAT is NO joke!!!!

[@joachimleksell2744]

AA has worked for me. 7 years sober today 🥳

[@seppyq3672]

@@joachimleksell2744 I could never get into AA. As an athiest, there was just too many mental gymnastics I had to do. Lol

[@SuperMrHiggins]

@@seppyq3672 read above

[@scaredNlost]

...funny Quote of the video of that video we just saw!!...

[@JktuUekmw]

Thank you, Paranoid Fellow :)

[@npage.]

Hi Craig, when I was about 14 years old, 10 years before you made this monologue, and about 25 years ago from today, I was looking to buy my first dirt bike. I met a guy online and we became chat buddies, and he really sold me this bike. We talked about it for months, it seemed. When he came to drop it off, it had the number 45 on it. Please keep in mind, this story is not a metaphor, although I know people like to speak in metaphors. No, I actually bought a physical motorcycle at that time. That was my personal experience. This is one story of many that I have of this nature over the course of my life. Saying all this is to say, that I feel that I was specifically set up to play this role I am playing, by outside forces, without my knowledge. So while I appreciate what you're saying,and it is all a good cause, on the other hand, it seems like no one is questioning this other side to the story. I know it's hard to relate, but as a result of all these operations, I have experienced severe derealization, not necessarily entirely because of my "personal issues", although occums razor and common sense might suggest, but because of the Truman Show esque aspect and endless guidance and manipulation over the course of my life. It has occurred to me that this narrative is a great cover story because it appeals to emotion so strongly- how could I refuse "my destiny from above" when the cause is so just? Do you see the conflict there? Hope this helps

[@OCD450]

The sad thing in my area was, I was full blown, yet because I showed up, Iu was sober, so they would not take me!

[@FireIsTheCIeanser]

"United Nation of Freaks" lol it sure is. Some of those freaks are some of the coolest people you will meet though

[@mkarmam]

he was in that movie, but his parts got cut and never made it to the film.

[@JRBA2906]

God the laughing is absolutely pathetic

[@shaneybhoy2154]

So annoying

[@MrRenzolo]

@ParanoidFellow Hey, I really appreciate your videos, but can you tell me why there's always a windows sound halfway through them? Just curious :)

[@lucyruggy9903]

Need to listen more of what i suffer from. 👍

[@whitcwa]

Craig's monologue after Brittany Spears hair cutting episode was very moving. kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYu5iHx7ga2Eh7s

[@smithintern-tainment7868]

Man the audience’s reactions during these more heart-felt monologues really rub me the wrong way. I get that people are expecting jokes/to laugh at a late night talk show but let the actual thoughts breathe, people

[@TacticalReaper56]

Drug dealer embraced it because we understand the world doesn't bend to Americas teachings.

[@christinakyrkos]

1:58 iooo

[@justcraig1000]

i love Craig Ferguson...

[@vict0r1ous]

@haaleyy courtney love was the intro

[@jsinmod8381]

Are there any videos of him drunk

[@tylerdurden4045]

WTF are they laughing at?

[@denisepaulsenful]

It's a laugh track canned laughter obvs

[@Andynath100]

​@@denisepaulsenful No it's not. Sometime the same year he brought out the audience on stage, to prove its live in studio. They are however prepped and controlled by a warm up comedian to laugh at everything, which is done on all the talk shows.

[@Tamas123]

@rituliini1 Only Great Britain uses the English system in Europe. Every one else in Europe uses metric.

[@cambs0181]

No we use the metric system, though imperial system if you are from the older generations.

[@Awakeninghumanzombies247]

🤣👏

[@AddyKalyar]

LOL i didn't realize my comment had received negative votes.. :D WTH did I do? I completely agree with you man.. I don't know what people get by creating useless rivalry in everything

[@ZabljakLand]

Ironically the two of the most untrustworthy nations do not use the metric system hahaha, what the hell Craig

[@Al-mk4gk]

Lol ok

[@patsloyan9755]

I’m hoping that was a laugh track. This isn’t funny at all. SMH!!! Love you Mr. Ferguson 💕 Be well . Peace of Mind also. To anyone reading this , I wish the same for you also 💕

[@tandyhard8286]

The only late night host I sincerely miss. All the others were shite compared to Craig.

[@DannyBoy443]

@nejtilsvampe Are you saying it's not funny? Or that they just laugh at anything simple? To me its mostly girls. My thought is, if you're a young guy, go to the Ferguson show.

[@deanb024]

Who's the one flipping clown who didn't like this? Change the channel next time. How do you not like CF no matter the subject? Maybe they just hate us who decided we were sick and needed help. Oh well, gotta love and pray for them, too.

[@camy205]

That audience is so obnoxious

[@wilmervalderrama8871]

What jerks are in the audience!