Pat Beats His Wife (At Videogames!) The Test and Vampire Survivors!

[@rearedlogarithm]

My sister-in-law is deathly allergic to cigarette smoke to the point that she will start coughing up blood the moment she smells it. While this is not nearly as much a death sentence as it was thirty years ago where indoor smoking was everywhere, this allergy is also triggered by vaping and I think weed, which basically means she can't come to where I live because she'd just die like she had entered Blighttown.

[@TacticalReaper56]

They both look and sound sleep deprived. What a lovely couple.

[@DStar1313]

A newborn will do that.

[@helios566]

There do be a whole bitch who can't even shit his pants like an adult and clean it up on his own.

[@WaterDog1502]

During this streams/videos Pat should wear a white tank top to add to the illusion

[@Dragon4234]

Illusion?

[@kyaksachan502]

They're called wife beaters as an another name for tank tops, especially the white color variant @@Dragon4234

[@kakoytazabar]

Illusion of what?

[@ManiacYKT]

@@kakoytazabar of beating his wife (at video games).

[@FemmeAndroid]

Brought our second boy home from the hospital yesterday. He’s got a bit of day/night confusion. Watching you guys play Vampire Survivor has helped me get through the night with him while my wife slept. ❤ My wife and I love Vampire Survivor. I bought it when I got a steam deck and let her play. A week later, she too had a Steam Deck for portable Vampire Surviving.

[@Billybiscuits13]

Why get a $300 console for a $3 game when it's free and playable on most phones?

[@panama1131]

Something about Pat's tone when he's teaching Paige to Survive Vampires makes me giggle, like there's just the faint undertones of a drug addict excited to introduce his friend to this hot new drug called "heroin".

[@Reust0]

The baby is calm now but before you know it he’ll be screaming about the gameboy and how bad he thinks it was

[@maceblasy6471]

And he'll be right

[@RazSofer-xh3qs]

Me seeing title saying “Pat beats his wife”: 😦 Me reading the rest of the title: 😮‍💨

[@DarkPlague20]

thats the only part i could see on my phone notification, so i showed it to my brother standing next to me

[@heykak]

"but pat, we cant have a podcast, what would we talk about"

[@RhysClark97]

Pat be like: "I never dance in front of anyone, not ever" Also Pat: 3:40:16

[@asskicker4000]

Will this be the one games happen in!?! It is and 3 games!!!

[@RedEarth20XDX]

I watch streams and vods for the vibe so more talky streams are my favorite.

[@IcyDragonPolaris]

Pat: *is one of the most successful Twitch streamers of all time* The Test: "Why do you refuse to gain power?"

[@wumbojet]

The scale of streamer success is really funny, pat is by no means gigantic, but in a pure statistic sense he is absurdly gigantic compared to the average streamer

[@SeanCrosser]

Pat's too busy woohoo wahoo pizza and The Test doesn't like it.

[@mackenziedesire7515]

Is there any terror as great as realizing you are even more similar to Pat than you already though just from listening to the podcast etc. for years?

[@FishSkeleton-]

If Paige is up for it, man, that duo vampire survivors was awesome. The Test seems cool too, don't get me wrong, but I was a big fan of the the co-op slot machine fun times on VS.

[@LieseFury]

is zangief watching the baby?

[@travsvertkirktNull]

Pat has never been wrongerer explaining a game. Wild

[@HisNameWasCrazy]

Those shitty Test games? Seemed pretty spot on to me.

[@travsvertkirktNull]

@@HisNameWasCrazy nah, Vampire Survivors

[@LieseFury]

but he's super right he was wrong when he called the dmc style meter "efficiency".

[@Cheese_Meister]

Pat is right, growing up in school people used to say “that’s gay” to everything that was considered not cool. Then things changed. I’ve never heard of “camp” my entire life up until this point.

[@TheMrrccava]

They look exhausted, im glad they are attending the Mini Pat. Good on yall, you look tired and very fitting new papas and mamas.

[@castform57]

I wonder if Paige was also decent with Holocure, even without the ocean of fan lore knowledge it sometimes requires. It feels a bit faster pace until it becomes a touhou game at the harder stages.

[@oceanviolets1306]

I am a woman and I love fat guys in grey sweatpants

[@TheMrrccava]

Bruh I don't believe you exist.

[@kakoytazabar]

Test games feel like a scam, because they say so little and what little they say is kind of... generic? Like, most of the test results are generic, but this is just too little. After the first one I bought the bundle of the games and finished all three of them and each of them is worse than the first one. They also tell you that you should check their other games and so on and so forth and that there is another game, where you can input your personal words and get a result and... I somehow doubt that it won't be just some cringy stuff and/or something that does anything unique or unusual. After the third one it says "this is not about the answers, but the questions". Like, OKAY? Didn't you say that it's all going to reveal some unusual spooky truths about me? Then where are the answers? Just waiting on the refund of the bundle and definitely won't try other ones. The second game said that I shouldn't waste my time on something that isn't worth it, guess I will follow their own advice.

[@GrayD_Fox]

I’m surprised your twitch wasn’t banned right away for that title

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

1:59:17 I do my best never to make promises, as reality could make me a liar through circumstance

[@kairiwillow]

I love my parents

[@jeremyr4964]

I love Pat but I don't know how ANYONE handles over an hour of pre-stream every night. Even the nights of "let's get right into it" the pre-stream still lasts 20 minutes. So glad this is distilled on youtube with tracking.

[@SeanCrosser]

Oh I'm here more for the guys, than I am on the game.

[@tackjens]

the water sucks xD

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:52:17 the rare moment of chat not spamming crap for almost 30 seconds

[@KaneZenon]

Bro just make one post with several timestamp comments. It's much easier.

[@Frellyouall]

Ironic since you're spamming the comment section.

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:49:51 nah, as even gingee knows if you “suck out” the poison you’ll just make the wound worse and probably get yourself sick aswell

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:59 your dad is 91? My goddamn grandfather is 92, he must’ve been saving it up

[@logandh2]

Also what a fucking gross comment, are you 12?

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:53:36 kreia already imparted the answer to this

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

3:12:44 oh man I actively consider myself a subpar person and still help strangers (as long as it doesnt involve money)

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

1:42:13 Pat those people made you look like the one in the wrong and then likely hung out with that person after. It sounds like you got played, unfortunately and unnessisarily

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:55:32 ask them to keep their kinky sex to themselves and try to sleep again

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

Very thrown off by that weird ending

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

1:34:20 chat failing for about 5 seconds there

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

1:39:54 Pat you should’ve just told your friends to grow a pair and speak for themselves and said nothing more on the matter.

[@miguelnewmexico8641]

jesus fucking christ, you are 75% of the comments. i can't tell you what to do, you don't need my permission but holy shit you don't need to comment every single thought that enters your head.

[@logandh2]

Seriously as someone else said just make all this one comment. You’re not watching the stream, they aren’t seeing all this live; in fact I doubt they’re seeing this at all since this is Pat’s archive channel and I highly doubt he scrolls through the comments here.

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

2:25:31 this is really annoying as an answer given pats replies were the realest shit Like incredibly annoying holy shit 2:47:30 man chat is really struggling today

[@cerberuskid]

Wow Paige really can't handle much can she? Why did she just shut down as soon as Vampire Survivors started? It's one of the simplest games imaginable.

[@PeachSaliva]

What are you talking about? I loved the game so much that’s what we played this week and during our spare time lol