Larry David vs Susie Greene

Hilarious best disputes between Larry David
and crazy Susie Green (Susie Essman)

[@wurble]

"the kid is home, HYSTERICAL because her doll, Judy, has been DECAPITAAAATED" I fucking love how she delivers that line. Larry and Geoff just stood there like two naughty little boys makes it even funnier. That whole scene is amazing. Probably my favourite episode.

[@nothaks7250]

lol

[@A-small-amount-of-peas]

if I was Jeff or Larry I would have broke down laughing

[@kayleigh1991]

SOME VOODOO SHIT YOUR DOING!

[@leajiaure]

GET ME THE HEAD!!!

[@EvanMitsakis]

Despott DECAPITAAAAAAAAAATED

[@i.l.l.l.l.]

I love how most of Susie and Larry's interactions begin very warmly, very cordial and convivial, but within 30 seconds it all falls apart

[@ridedirect9114]

same as ted dansons

[@spacekitt.n]

lol the house tour immediately comes to mind

[@thejew1789]

I love it. Susie still loves Larry and cares for him, she just has a fucked up temper.

[@TheMusicalFeeling]

Its always “Oh hi Lar”... then 🤯🤬

[@dariushcreates]

Those two can't go through a minute without getting confrontational 😂

[@newthrash1221]

"You four-eyed fuck" will always be my favorite classic line from Susie. lol

[@steverogers7601]

The way she delivers that “fcuk” is so damn hilarious.

[@yanni2112]

I like when she calls him bald

[@Nerdylady]

It wins every time.

[@tommyudo3195]

I'm partial to "You sicko, fucko asshole!"

[@vismundo2437]

Tie with "Bald Prick"

[@unerevuese]

The fact Susie has a theme song right when she is about to drag Larry. 😂

[@caseyhunter3840]

....hn...m😊😂😊😂😊

[@anitat277]

Yup. The Susie song is the one that Mexican and Spanish movies use when the bull is about to kill your ass. It is also used in old American westerns during those high noon shoot out scenes

[@luchilds]

Spaghetti western

[@Brrrrrrrr]

It’s called boss music

[@EdMan57]

I love how Jeff never stands up to Susie,or defends Larry.

[@AlphaQHard]

He’s a married man, he knows to stay out of it.

Typical married man. They lose their balls as soon as they walk up to the alter.

[@H.C.Q.]

He has a great amount of patience and tolerance for such a vile disgusting bitch of a wife.

[@valeriebernstein9167]

He's afraid of her.

[@yehor_ivanov]

u know, what's interesting is he started doing that in the later seasons I guess, Jeff just sorta got fed up with Susie bs)

[@bink]

"Sicko fucko asshole!!" Ah, Susie's a poet.

[@shannoncooney8771]

hilarious!

[@joel8583]

Top knotch she is!! :-)

[@LeftIsBest001]

"I thought she had a speech impediment.." "You've known her all these years and she all of a sudden develops a speech impediment!!?" "That's what was so puzzling..." 😂😂

[@exdoode]

It's quite a line... 😂😂😂😂 has me in tears!!

[@YK-fj5bj]

Left Is Best the puzzling line was delivered perfectly 😄

[@edwardquaye8312]

That was so funny!

[@mikeypickett4468]

She smells like a fucking wine-o

[@sisterdoublehappiness9714]

"You sicko, fucko, asshole" is my favorite insult of all time.

[@Juan_of_the_gorlz]

"SOME VOODOO SHIT YOU'RE DOING!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I love Susie

[@DavidGriffin-ww2fk]

"You've shown a consistent lack of respect for wood as I see it." Is the single greatest line in television history as I see it.

[@JTisOneCrazyMan20]

That whole scene is my favorite Larry and Susie scene ever. "I respect wood so much, if I had a piece of wood in my hand right now, I'd beat the shit out of you with it okay!?" My favorite Susie line

[@NorthernHistory]

her voice needs to be my alarm clock

[@ostrovisky]

"Wake the FUCK UP!!!! You lazy piece of shit" lmaoooo

[@pottytheparrot310]

look up shut the fuck up its hilarious

[@sythlorde]

DECAPITATEEEEED! _(Its 7am, time to get up!)_

[@GrizzlyCHarry]

Absinthevideo wake up you four eyed fuck lol that's what i want

[@gonefishing408]

hahahahaha fuck that

[@skwisgarskwigelf7191]

I love how whenever Susie yells and curses at Larry, Jeff just stands there like a deer in the headlights 😂🤣

[@benjamingrimes3304]

The guy is totally shell-shocked from years of abuse.

[@chandlergreen9300]

He knows that she is in full control of his life and with one word she can destroy him

[@vegancandy9570]

I think he genuinely loves her and also likes to be told what to do by her. Probably his mother was very overbearing so in some Freudian way that’s what he’s attracted to and married!

[@nhjo]

@@kingpettytv You too, huh? I think it's the accent.

[@skwisgarskwigelf7191]

Susie reminds me of my second grade teacher. She had a very short fuse and was always screaming. Like a PG version of Susie 😂

[@dmcgarry07]

“i thought she had a speech impediment” is one of the all time lines 😂

[@romeoromero9612]

That's what was so puzzling to me 😂

[@leejones8082]

The house tour scene is one of my all-time favorites. One because how quick Susie goes from 0-100 and also I totally relate to not wanting to see a tour of someone's house.

[@user-jo3fp6yi2d]

No Tour for you!! Remind of No Soup for you!!

[@bhz8947]

“No, I get it: bedrooms, bathrooms…”

[@hw3748]

Mine too

[@A-Oh-Trey]

"You sick fuck Larry David" I busted out laughing. Her delivery is just freakin' wonderful. The perfect amount of scorn and malice.

[@lizzyw8]

“You sick four-eyed fuck” is another gem 💎

[@Vejur9000]

Well to be honest... she’s just delivering the way any decent New Yorker would. She is gold. “Freak of fucking nature... doesn’t wanna house tour...”

[@AquaAtia]

Susie has to be my favorite character in this show. She’s super underrated but in my eyes she steals every scene she’s in. She just has has a way of completely tilting the plot of the episode or escalating it

[@jaimebarba619]

Yup lol

[@spaciouscake]

She's not underrated? Everyone thinks hilarious

[@michaeldoyle6702]

Suzie is the worst character on the show. An appalling cunt.

[@ericday4505]

The thing about Susie is she has that voice, and most of the time her lines are similar, but she manages to get humor out of it.

[@leeb.5795]

She's adorable.

[@HailCostanza]

“I thought she had a speech impediment” cracks me up every time.

[@themisbabalis]

😂😂😂😂

[@gutsfinky]

That's what was so puzzling...

[@deadnerves]

she is like a female version of Joe Pesci, love her!

[@Knifyman]

Susie is like a really constantly pissed off fran fischer

[@TANTHEMANFILMS]

Jew Pesci..

[@jumpbox3]

Tanner Herzman That’s it. You win!! 🙌

[@dmonarredmonarre3076]

Not even close. She has no skin in the game. All she does is rant with empty threats. Joe Pesci is a risk-taking beast who actually ACTS, irrespective of threats. Like all cowards, she's all lip til things get dangerous. Pathetic.

[@jumpbox3]

dmonarre dmonarre She was scheming to kill Jeff. Lol

[@poppycakes6805]

I love the Western "Showdown music" whenever Larrry &/or Jeff have to face an angry Susie!!!!

[@lj6109]

The music makes that scene much funnier lol

[@kebokev7519]

A Mexican standoff

[@joebell6129]

A fistful of dollars

[@confusedredditor1660]

Morricone, haha

[@gutsfinky]

I hope Ennio had a sense of humor.

[@tiasara5967]

Susie is the best role anyone has ever had in the history of acting. Shakespeare would literally keel over laughing. It’s beautiful!

[@annamillar4794]

The Best.

[@joeyk606]

I love how Susie consistently assumes Larry and Jeff are twisted perverts despite there being no reason to think that. Its always “you sickos!!!”

[@nyyanksrdbest]

Susie Green is the most underrated TV character

[@10topowerof8]

I don't think she is. Susie gets the love.

[@maxmerton]

Not underrated.

[@bretthall8115]

SHE SCARES ME

[@DannyXXXXX]

But she ruins many episodes with how over the top and unreasonable she is.

[@johnhawthorn5393]

Most annoying

[@murphyec]

DECAAAAAAPPPITTAAATTTEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[@jessicajaynenc1202]

YESSSSS . My favorite line!

[@GUITARTIME2024]

Eric Murphy best line ever

[@practicingwitch4277]

SOME VOODOO SHIT YOUR DOING

[@bobbob-sv4mk]

Perfect

[@pottytheparrot310]

geeky films and theories Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is

[@incognito3743]

" I respect wood Larry, I respect wood so much that if I had a piece of wood in my hand, I'd beat the s*it out of you with it!!" 😂

[@dreuvasdevil9395]

why blur out the shit

[@JTisOneCrazyMan20]

My favorite Susie line ever

[@somebonehead]

7:32

[@isaiahdaddys9379]

Funniest line of the entire show

[@andred4473]

“Misanthropic moron” is the best Larry insult

[@mikebynes3720]

Hardcore

[@chunkylefunga]

Fantastic line and great improv.

[@Vasileski88]

I love the way she says: "Hysterical"!!!

[@davidjackson393]

HYSSSS-TE-RI-CAAAAAAL

[@mishaj5588]

I love the way she says fuck!!

[@yoshpeters3079]

why tho? And decapitated!

[@lawrencefeldman7744]

Let's not forget decapitated! You do know that after watching this you'll be picking up her riffs,pronunciations,energy levels and channeling when needed. A true master

[@tartgreenapple]

Susie Essman is a genius improv actor.

[@redlady935]

Yep her improv lines are the best

[@MatrixDiscovery]

People hated when Seinfeld went off the air, but actually we got 10 more seasons of Seinfeld as Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[@-diogenesthecynic-]

It’s such an improvement on Seinfeld though

[@irishman4671]

@@-diogenesthecynic- 100 times funnier

[@boosteddaily1294]

This is way better than seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld is as funny as...

[@u2nice3079]

IDK Larry David has gotten better over time.

[@crazymono13]

Please dont disrespect Curb like that again. Thanks

[@yonnybriggs6435]

The western dueling music every time she's waiting for Larry is the best lol so perfect

[@PhilDesigns]

freak of fuckin nature doesn't want a house tour

[@MEGADEEZOO]

I'd still credit this, a BEATIFUL HAIKU😇😇😇

[@EdMcStinko]

This actress adds so much hilarity to the show it wouldnt be the same otherwise.

[@marrydruli]

'Get the fuck out of my house Larry' is the summary of their relationship.

[@Forenzikproductions]

*H Y S T E R I C A L*

[@bwdrums1]

She is the most vile, angriest, foul- mouthed character that I ever seen.......I think I'm in love !!

[@coachdynomite2752]

“I like a woman with a smart ass mouth like that,” - Leon Black

[@jonkline709]

She just does something to me just love strong women

[@alexsmith2014]

Ari gold from entourage 🤣

[@brycemorey1557]

@@coachdynomite2752 “go fuck yourself”

[@solomonbrown2692]

Me too😆

[@TR-gl8wl]

"Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is!"

[@mloftus8618]

Love their exchanges. The chemistry is great...the anger feels real. These are among the funniest pieces on the show...anytime Suzy and Larry are fighting.

[@nilesclifford9704]

And larry david is Susie's punching bag.

[@Acky642]

How did this woman not win an Emmy every year?

[@SerraPontosSoc]

9:14 "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY HOUSE" "You sure?" That line gets me everytime

[@victorm152]

One false move and she will kill you with obscenities

[@joel8583]

+Victor M ikr!

[@Slayer021800]

oh hey weiss

[@Slayer021800]

hey weiss

[@sacramentocheesehog9195]

Vivica fox destroyed her in like 13 words

[@cragerzz]

And so eloquently worded...... 28 words to be exactish and in only 7 seconds! 😂👏👏 Beauitful moment I agree! "Who the fuck do you think your talking to!! Dont nobody talk to my man like that! You better get your ass outta my house you fuckin bitch!!"

[@carletoncandis635]

Susie has made cussing an art form.

[@LeBor169]

You knew her since she was born and suddenly she develops a speech impediment... That's what was soo puzzling.... Lmao I dunno why but that kills me every time

[@joemasters2270]

There's a definite realism to her character. I live on Long Island. Women like Susie are very commonplace here XD

[@bryansandiego]

Joe Masters Jewish!

[@geordiejones5618]

I need to marry a Jewish woman just like her. Susie is my dream wife.

[@victorm152]

Noice

[@kanifalam7835]

There is a very close similarity between the Jewish and Italian female.

[@meadster308]

@@kanifalam7835 I can see her throwing a lamp at Tony Soprano.

[@ChocolateAsian9000]

7:54 never fails to get me. This man is squatting, which he’s never really done on camera, shoving books around, and Susie’s delivery is perfect

[@sandiasurfers3174]

“You know what, get the fu*k outta here!” Lost count the amount of times Susie kicked Larry out 😂

[@TheAnomaly330]

I wish I had a dollar for every time Susie kicks him out of her house lmao

[@TheStuport]

+darkbeat101 LOL...I always thought the same thing except that it would be $1.00 for EVERY swear word....boy howdy Here I come Palm Springs!

[@KRSStudios]

darkbeat don't wish. Make a drinking game out of Susie kicking Larry out of her house. You'll be drunk in three minutes.

[@joel8583]

LOL!!!

[@superdude9856]

darkbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out...

[@killajakez]

And then Larry confirms lunch plans with Jeff.

[@kitfisto8669]

Susie is the only person who can shut upp larry ,....lmao

[@christofferjenzen78]

Good god....she is pretty awful but that was not a proportionate response. I cant really chime in when you say psychotic shit like that,they will lump me in with you...and you are the worst. How does a minor character in a comedy show bring up such extreme emotions in you? I feel like maybe if you ceased to exist,it would be pretty....pretty,prettay Good....

[@josefino72]

And Wanda.

[@EarFarce4]

@@scottwilliam3470 1to100 then back to 1 in 2 seconds flat LMAO!

[@johns3491]

And Vivica A. Fox is the only person that can shut up Susie.

[@nicolasmrn]

and throw his blackberry to the ocean

[@frisco21]

_"What's with your verkakte shoes?"_ Great use of Yiddish in the dialogue!

[@aegontargaryen6269]

“You weren’t invited go eat somewhere else” 😂😂😂

[@Holymakinaw]

LMAO. I love New York Jews. Funniest people on earth.

[@nyny5699]

+Tom Evans Is that you Mel Gibson? out of rehab so soon?

[@SovereignStatesman]

Arthur K FREEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@SamJohn52]

+Holymakinaw ............they are.....except Woody Allen......

[@SovereignStatesman]

MarlonBrando More people think he's funny than they do Larry David.

[@mrxxbrian]

GET A LIFE JEWS!

[@phizap]

best ending ever with loretta lol

[@hughbertram2476]

ş

[@jessicajaynenc1202]

Absolutley !!!! That one is classic and makes literally bust out loud laughing , EVERYTIME !

[@lilyray]

lmao she met her match!!!

[@jessicajaynenc1202]

and the look on Larry's face! you knowwww he's so happy.

[@raymonddodd9048]

I couldn't stop laughing. It was high time somebody stood up to Susie.

[@gutterbois]

"Hey Lar"

[@Stevedrums741]

"I thought she had a speech impediment..." ROTF!!!

[@DeathShouldTakeMeNow]

Larry must hold the world record for getting kicked out of a house the most times.

[@Choccster]

+DeathShouldTakeMeNow I don't know, Jazz in Fresh Prince and Roger in Tia & Tamera, they got kicked out a stupid amount of times (I watched a lot of TV as a child). Larry's uh out-kickings are a lot better, though :D

[@10topowerof8]

Jazz's exits were pretty legendary

[@magillagorilla57]

@@Choccster Pam on Martin has a pretty good record too

[@germansalas6159]

That time he touched the old woman boob 😂

[@musicalman1995]

People forget that a lot of this show is improvised. It's completely brilliant.

[@dontalkt2meboutheros]

They film the same scenes a few times and choose the funniest

[@Iamverybald]

That delivery on “you four eyed fuck” is always perfect

[@cynthiabelknap8655]

“Freak of fucking nature doesn’t want a house tour”😂. Gold!

[@gibbsy36]

'Freak of fucking nature doesn't want a house tour?' I bloody love this show. xx

[@LEMMYKISGOD]

Susie Green has the voice of an angel...

[@victorm152]

An angry angel

[@paticusmaximus12]

Yeah..SATAN

[@rollotomassi4768]

The Angel of Death!

[@H.C.Q.]

Yeah... The fallen angel.

[@muhammadalirawjee4589]

...said no one ever.

[@Cwho9ss]

“I thought she had a speech impediment” haha

[@music_man_4043]

"Stop Scratching Your Balls and Tell Me Where It Is." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@bclaude87]

Hahaha. I love Susie so much. Susie and Leon are my 2 favorite characters on the series.

[@gita3088]

Leon was fabulous .... bring the ruckus to that ass, Larry. Too funny. :)

[@kimlarge4077]

Me too.

[@janicejacome]

bclaude87 No DOUBT!!!

[@cacksm0ker]

Their actors are geniuses at the ad-lib style that Curb does. Each time they speak it's a masterpiece.

[@mrj4990]

They’d make the most rowdy couple. Leon (as long as he wears glasses) and her in the world would be unstoppable. Leon & Susie 2020🇺🇸

[@rafaelsolis]

"SHE TOLD YOU COULD TAKE THE DOG AFTER YOU GOT HER ALL FUCKED UP ON ALCOHOL.....ALL LIQUORED UP!" Love how she delivers that line

[@MarcosIsABaritone]

+Rafael Solis My fave too.

[@CurbUrEnthusiazm]

Majority of this show is made up lines they make up I the spot. Larry will present a topic situation, and they'll ad-lib most of it. The only people that have actual lines from a script are insignificant roles, such as waiters, receptionists, hostesses, cashiers, etc. as for the main characters, it's all ad-libbed. That's what makes this show legendary.

[@Fuzorz]

+Uralya 909 indeed !! no "delivering lines" !!!

[@whirlingdervish69]

H Y S T E R I C A L

[@lynettelaroche8868]

Omg! This show wouldn’t be the same without Susie!! She’s a riot! I love her!!😂

[@cesarbueno1615]

The second HYSTERRRICAAAAL hit me like a train 😂😂

[@ericbrown9900]

For a show about Larry David, Susie steals every scene she shows up in.

[@LastAvailableAlias]

How many times has Larry been banned from Susan's house?

[@ThePanicPuppet]

LastAvailableAlias every

[@martinashwoodsmith7674]

LastAvailableAlias ... oh, I dunno, a few million, give or take ;)

[@Max-ro7sz]

Susie, not Susan.

[@victorm152]

Too many to count

[@Tracymmo]

About as many times as the thumbs up on your comment

[@Vejur9000]

OMG. Susie essman is a veteran NYC comic, and she’s always been drop dead funny.

[@thejew1789]

"I'll give you the tour." "Oh that's okay. I get it. Bedrooms, bathrooms." I've literally said this exact same thing lmao

[@mrttripz3236]

Maybe it's a Jewish thing

[@vers1fier]

@@mrttripz3236 Nope gentile here, think the exact same thing.

[@aaroneusjames2342]

one of the best 240p vids on KZbin.

[@rainscratch]

The scenes are so funny you forget about the cr^p quality.

[@ChaossX77]

​@@rainscratchwow such uncalled for language holy shit

[@A-small-amount-of-peas]

I grew up in the pre digital era. This is luxury

[@sirmoanalot3779]

“Mr hush puppy rumpled suit look” 😂

[@Al404DVP]

Long live Larry David. An absolute genius and a giant of a man in the comedy world. Thank u for a lifetime of laughs.

[@ianhodgson5149]

hes not dead 😂

[@mrpentium]

love the "Good bad & ugly" music preamble

[@mcbc4]

the last scene where Larry's gf stands up to Susie is absolute gold!

[@fredlazar]

Not his girlfriend.

[@Tbone.357]

​@@fredlazaruuh, yes they were dating on the show. Hence, "girlfriend". 🙄

[@flamegrl13]

Charlie Brown and Lucy Vander Pelt as adults

[@andrewilson7538]

Exactly 👍

[@KenyonClemonsNY]

Yesss!

[@maxuli21]

"I thought she had a speech impediment" 😂😂

[@CitrusMike]

No experience is as magical as Susie yelling at larry

[@ShaithMaster]

I love the gunslinger music, hilarious.

[@georgechanturidze1409]

"Get the f#$% out of my house!" - Susie Green

[@tommybohannon1989]

Susie has evolved to be my favorite character honestly

[@samuelluebbers4099]

A goddamn icon, her and jb smoove make a better supporting cast than even Jerry had

[@Sizo008]

7:58 I love how he squats over the table to check for stains like some sort of bald goblin and then pushes the books and i lost it

[@willingtotry]

Bald goblin! Hahaha

[@aaroneusjames2342]

yes dude. that book push was gold 🤣

[@jimbeam100100]

He was asking for trouble with that book push

[@SamAronow]

It was a highly tactical push.

[@dominicangadi]

'Misanthropic moron' I wish my girlfriend ever called me that.

[@yoshpeters3079]

Dominic Angadi I am a misanthrope, bald asshole and four eyed fuck. I need a girl like Susie then she can call me a misanthropic moron, four eyed fuck and bald fucko asshole. Lol and my buddy is the fat piece of shit.

[@incognito3743]

"Mr. Hush puppy rumpled suit look." 😂

[@lordfezerellii]

I love how it took Larry half a second to reject the phone rule.

[@manakin5]

24 people don't respect wood.

[@jammar521]

manakin5 I dont believe you respect wood

[@ZenShroud1]

"Get the fuck out of my house!" "Are you sure?" LMFAO

[@steelydan449]

I always start laughing as soon as I hear the Suzi is pissed music.

[@iankof90]

I love how Loretta stood up for him. Cheryl never did that.

[@keithdriscoll6760]

LMAO! "Stop scratching your balls and tell me where it is!"

[@gargarcomedy]

Maybe the best line ever😂😂😂

[@jessicaruales8649]

I love this woman!!

[@mishaj5588]

Jessica Ruales She's mint.

[@knucks1983]

This show is great

[@slurpeyatari]

Susie is one of the greatest balance characters. A character like Larry needs an equal or an even greater alpha personality to put him in his place.

[@jerseyforhawks]

Priceless. Each scene ends "..get the eff out of my house...".

[@xbrando7]

4:37 "Oh no, I'm done, I'm turned off" lol

[@mikeoxlong567]

Its like their married lol

[@dcaseng]

LMFAO, she was turned ON by the thought of giving Larry a house tour.

[@zyzor]

I love the showdown music that qeues

[@zyzor]

Two of nature’s mortal enemies facing one another

[@Itsmarieanne]

Susie makes me laugh because she speaks to Jeff and Larry the same, she’s like a horrible mom cursing her children 🤣🤣🤣

[@nathan2497]

Classic show, The Larry and Susie exchanges were always brilliant.

[@DaftSwank]

"Freak of fuckin' nature doesn't want the house tour?!?" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAHA!!!!!

[@basehead617]

love that line too

[@webow88]

The Tour Nazi: "No tour for you!"

[@dansofe0r]

The kid is home, hystericaaaal, because her doll, Judy, has been DECAPITAAATEEEEEEEEED!

[@starlite025]

“Stop scratchin ya balls and tell me where it is” 💀😂

[@jakesonny]

Everybody: Respect your elders. Susie Greene: We don't do that here!