Pharaoh Review | featuring Caesar 3 from the SPQR Series™

The best of Trauma-based citybuilding since 1999.
Discounts on everything:
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Useful resources, guides and FAQs:
pharaoh.heavengames.com/
Happy new year brothers.
Take care out there.
-----------------------
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[@mrwri]

I lived in Cairo for 3 years. I can confirm that 97% of their constructed buildings are minutes away from collapse or burning at any given moment.

[@cooleradam4324]

Was this before during or after the wonderful Spring? I know that after the “Revolution” maintenance and upkeep in even government buildings has been entirely hit and miss.

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

And that remaining 3% is just the pyramids

[@mrwri]

@@cooleradam4324 That was under the Military so I can only assume things are much worse now.

[@Murad_el-Kaffas]

As an egyptian I can confirm this is true👍

[@theortheo2401]

When will you egyptian will understand you're not the same ancient egyptian you absolute dongs. Those are the coptics, which makes only a minority of the egyptian population...

[@itsfine5818]

I was *sure* the Osiris myth retelling was just Seth fucking around. He was not.

[@TheConjurersTower]

_"Gimme that old time religion...It's good enough for me..."_

[@bitharne]

Seth is like Jack Sparrow in the scene where they accuse him of telling the Truth and he notes that he does that a lot and people are still surprised...

[@nutscheese4510]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/emjYloVsitx3pbM

[@thekingzhaul5914]

The wonders of the human race, making fiction less crazy than reality since the dawn of art.

[@darthskarr8975]

First Rule of both Egyptian Myth and South Africa; Always assume the story is accurate, no mater how crazy it sounds.

[@aerial11]

Girls: "guys have no feelings" Men: "We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are gaius and aulus."

[@ValiantValium]

The boys

[@DerpASherpa117]

Bros for over 1900 years

[@benjaminlocks]

Absolute legends.

[@juliusweiss5447]

Right? This was the sweetest shit I’ve seen in a while and I legit will remember the names Gauius and Aulus forever now.

[@RexcorJ]

I hope they're still killin' it together in the realm beyond.

[@21agdmnm]

*True story* - back in 2005 when I was taking my finals, the history baccalaureate exam had the task to write about Egyptian civilization. I wrote a huuuge essay and absolutely everything was from this game, I used to play it almost daily back then so I`d remember all the Gods names, cities, everything. I got he highest grade.. Brings a cheeky smile to my face every time I see this game :)

[@user-bu4pk6zm9h]

That’s awesome

[@blub2121]

Similar experience here - I used Pharao in fitfth grade for my presentation on Ancient Egypt. Worked like a charm.

[@Kylirr]

So when you were citing references what did you put?

[@joshuaj1110]

I used this in a 6th grade history presentation. Teacher Gave me an A and went and bought the game. He loved it

[@Shiruvan]

a real gamer moment

[@charlesduffield8690]

His retelling of Egyptian mythos un-ironically accurate.

[@Memelord-md5hs]

Now I dont remember ISIS getting beheaded But otherwise very accurate retelling by sseth here 10/10

[@grizzlyM850]

Seriously?

[@explosiverift2037]

@@grizzlyM850 yep

[@user-vp6cq4sv3d]

Just like the part where the egypts were black.

[@when7573]

dude even mentioned the semen lettuce part

[@roberttauzer7042]

Roman Pompeii Grafitti, 97th year CE (17:17) "We, two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus." So wondrously and surprisingly wholesome.

[@JohnSmith-mk1rj]

Those two left further graffiti writing a review of the whorehouse they were in. They were in Pompeii, and I like to think they avoided the whole volcano thing.

[@LordVader1094]

@@JohnSmith-mk1rj Gaius and Aulus' Bizarre Adventures

[@clockworklemon9243]

I've read the whole list of discovered wall writings from Pompeii and it's easily my favourite.

[@zainiikhwan9405]

The real life Interspecies Reviewer

[@HelixMantis]

@Straight Drop Da Crack Mane People called Romanes they go the house?

[@Brother_Aniki]

"I've been kicked out of my home, and through no fault of my own!" 109 times.

[@qiff6667]

110*

[@bluecaptainIT]

*111

[@vulkantheprimarch8905]

@@bluecaptainIT oh shit who were 110 and 111?

[@bluecaptainIT]

@@vulkantheprimarch8905 we were making a joke with the like ratio of this comment. But possibly, Sseth's doing

[@qiff6667]

@@bluecaptainIT 110th time was when hasidic jews were driven away from a town in guatemala in 2014. I dont know about the 111th time.

[@X-SPONGED]

5:49 I love how -Set- Sseth took an entire 3 minutes off of the review to explain the whole Ancient Egyptian Mythos about Osiris, Horus, and Set with a stock jpeg animation segment no less. Gives me real Internet Historian Vibes.

[@arturnicaciodeandrade9861]

Huh, so thats why they say that Sseth is one of Harold's personalities

[@kevinkerwin4118]

Comparing present culture to present culture is peak present culture. Why are you watching a video about a game about ancient Egypt when you can just have present culture as your alpha and omega?

[@WingMaster562]

The other way around. The thief class.​@@arturnicaciodeandrade9861

[@kokaomf]

"FUCKIN HORUS!" -God Emperor of Mankind

[@LeroyJ12]

LMFAO!!!! I AM FORTIFYING THIS POSITION!

[@armoredmilkman3288]

HERESY

[@PanzerIVAE]

Yeah hearing Horus being some lad who got shanked by a spear and who worked to overthrow the local monarchy is uh...

[@borisherrera6797]

Quite literally, uh, don’t burn me alive pls.

[@matthewboan616]

"Damn you sanguinius!" - Horus, 5 seconds before being turned to dust

[@tumbleman5681]

"Sseth?" *looks up from goblin shortstack pinup compilation* "Haven't heard that name in a long time."

[@ShaqNasty557]

Can we get some of that collection?

[@Gatrax]

@@ShaqNasty557 I would also like this collection. strictly for research

[@seekerofalice9787]

@@Gatrax look up InCase on Hentai Foundry

[@lollma0]

@@seekerofalice9787 The Character Trixy Hardfuse is another good starting ground if you wish to brace rule34

[@nicholassheavils209]

Ah, connoisseurs. Your knowledge is humbling.

[@seliphra2437]

My grandpa literally only plays this game on the PC, plays it every day and has done so since I was in elementary school. I don't think he's ever beat it.

[@TomSmith-li5se]

What a legend

[@cisafrulli]

😂😂😂😂

[@TTOTheTrueOne]

Reminds me of mine, but with Roller Coaster Tycoon 1+2

[@italianmiltyfriedman6264]

same my gpa got this gaem in 2000 and played it for years until he got too old and sick around 2009, we even gave him a printout with all the cheats, he wouldnt even play without them. he was in his 80s

[@strikermodel]

"Stealing a gods eyes, leads to you proverbially giving birth to them." Lovecraft ain't got nothin' on old religious text.

[@Lawofimprobability]

No, I think Lovecraft had his horror inspiration from the old texts. The only difference is that Lovecraft made a big deal about the indifference or malice of the gods instead of the supposed transactions with them.

[@Oryxification]

Wait until you see old testament angels then. The idea that God is some Lovecraft entity is probly true.

[@strikermodel]

@@Oryxification I think there's a good reason there are many references in the bible about how people are not to look upon the face of god or specific actions (like the destruction of the city of sinners). As a christian I won't call God a lovecraftian entity, but we are definitely on a lower plane of existence and merely looking at him in all his benevolence will definitely have an effect akin to that.

[@cloudmagus]

@@strikermodel I think Lovecraft was horrified by the implication of a higher God precisely because he was an atheist. :)

[@incelliousthewizard7883]

Lovecraft was obsessed with Egyptian culture and religion, nyarlathotep was a pharaoh who pimp walked with a cane and enlightened the masses about stars and shit, Abdul Alhazred the mad was an Egyptian dude who was Lovecraft's self-insert who wrote the Necronomicon which is referenced in almost every story he wrote.

[@karganor]

You forgot the myth where Set shapeshifted into an African warlord and now owns a youtube channel

[@leotenenbaum6806]

That isn't a myth though

[@juanandresmendezmartinez8024]

@@leotenenbaum6806 That's just a theory... *A KZbin THEORY*

[@edouard9687]

it's a sub saharan africa myth

[@tententononce2570]

You can make a religion out of this

[@Left4Candy]

"According to The Contendings of Horus and Seth, Set is depicted as trying to prove his dominance by seducing Horus and then having sexual intercourse with him. However, Horus places his hand between his thighs and catches Set's semen, then subsequently throws it in the river so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus (or Isis herself in some versions) then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food. After Set had eaten the lettuce, they went to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listened to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answered from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listened to Horus' claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answered from inside Set." Imagine catching the load and then be like "I ain't no homo bro"

[@234ne14]

"Everything in the world is about sex... Except sex, sex is about power." - Oscar Wilde

[@Jag-gr7oq]

No matter how many versions of this story I read I still don't get he caught the semen in his hand if set was trying to cum inside how could it be caught with out him noticing

[@AbokaseeRed]

@@Jag-gr7oq Finnessed

[@quint3ssent1a]

Oh fuck this is even weirder than Sseth's explanation

[@quint3ssent1a]

@@Jag-gr7oq sleight of hands, bruh

[@Housesider]

"On April 19th, I made bread." Inspiring.

[@nikolaivanovic1060]

Its 19th april as i rewatch this, and i too am about to make bread

[@CarefreeMan]

@@nikolaivanovic1060 *Hello. I am also going to make bread.*

[@neglectfulsausage7689]

@@CarefreeMan "why make bread when you can jus steal it" -Occaisonal Cortex Alexandriace.

[@CarefreeMan]

@@neglectfulsausage7689 *I don't know, sausage that likes to neglect.*

[@lollikabosso.w.n7153]

My boy is sharing his life long achievement

[@leonhighwind2305]

"The mark of an advanced civilization... is a police station." Absolutely true, and absolutely hilarious.

[@JustinY.]

It's a given fact that any game Sseth plays features the struggles of the common working man, or slavery and organ harvesting.

[@handy03_35]

Or all of it

[@dupeken]

Piece of shit

[@zigmus00A]

Those are the exact tags he uses to search for games

[@drewinsur7321]

or three sausages on a bowling bowl

[@imspear9172]

inb4 angry comments because its justin.

[@electricbayonet2]

“I’ve learned to accept that there’s nothing I can do about it except turn up the music to drown out the screaming.” Yet another addition to the ‘Big Book of Terrifying Sseth Inspired Tombstone Inscriptions’

[@Morfe02]

11:22

[@vLavour1]

This hit a little bit too close to home

[@justmonika3500]

that's pretty much my home life

[@antekknapek4635]

HP lovecraft got nothing on papa Sseth

[@hop-skip-ouch8798]

Sseth has similar humour as Mittensquad

[@notthalis9545]

The best part of the Osiris myth is the end. After their 80 year conflict involving sexual assault, cruel and unusual punishment and the cumsumption of seedy cabbage, Set and Horus more or less shake hands and make up as acquaintances. Horus rules over Egypt and the Nile while Set rules over literally everything else.

[@RedScorpion92]

I love the idea that what the pharaoh has around him goes with him to the after life. Could only imagine his surprise when dinosaurs and random relics started appearing around him after losing most of his own stuff.

[@AdamantLightLP]

Nowadays electric lights, and the occasional tourist appear.

[@VileVamp]

I want an entire series of Seth explaining ancient mythology and history.

[@gr33nthumb]

I want an entire series of Seth explaining world

[@dr.sweetlove7859]

Seth explains the Great Emu War

[@themarlboromandalorian]

Sseth could be an epic educator...

[@doop15973]

Do it pussy

[@donald12998]

We have china and Egypt, Greece is on the way

[@LoliLikesPedobear]

"A physiological need of a human being to evade taxation..." Oh my god, what a gem you, Sseth, are.

[@deltoroperdedor3166]

In more ways than one

[@robinvmars6191]

@@deltoroperdedor3166 The real antagonist of Steven Universe

[@LoliLikesPedobear]

@@Doomguy617 hell no, he's spot on

[@tremox9786]

The only guy who can make a video featuring impregnation by necrophilia and tax evasion as a basic need in Maslow's pyramid, and it still makes complete sense in the context.

[@magosexploratoradeon6409]

@@tremox9786 tbf when the taxes are that high, no person wouldn't phase through the city walls just to emigrate.

[@Psychonautical89]

"Alternatively, you can just pray to Seth, and when your enemies reach the map, they'll fall to the ground and be recorded as a covid death." 10/10 line

[@hachijospaniard5643]

And for this, the concept of "statistics" announced to the public are not "false" at all.

[@bionicdragon5]

That explains why the meth heads in my neighborhood haven't been coming around ever since I subscribed to his channel.

[@decespugliatorenucleare3780]

the whole review is hysterical

[@jonathansotelo4877]

@@hachijospaniard5643Yawn. Can you guys go back to your old conspiracy theory where you said vaccinated people will turn into zombies any minute now? At least that was funny.

[@IbrahiemLegoFilms]

​@@jonathansotelo4877 nobody said that, fuck outta here, you can keep on following governments and conglomerates blindly maybe

[@henotic.essence]

I know your channel is very "meme-y" but you're a fantastic writer. The way you explained how ancient Egyptians viewed death and how they prepared for it, comparing it to video games and made it funny at the same time was absolutely expert. Great work. I love coming back to all of these videos just for your wonderful writing and great video experience. Keep doing what you do ❤️🙏

[@neglectfulsausage7689]

it wouldbe bene less effort to simply bang him.

[@SirBrasstion]

"Ancient Egyptians believed that words carried power; so, the more negative or unsavoury parts of stories were often never recorded because simply writing them would manifest the words into reality." - SsethTzeentach on the origin of the KZbin algoritihm

[@SirBrasstion]

@Wyeil Arbukle I'll stop talking about 'black' culture if you stop culturally appropriating the English language.

[@SirBrasstion]

@Wyeil Arbukle I smell a Poe.

[@jmjedi923]

@Wyeil Arbukle I smell febreze

[@floridaball4896]

@Wyeil Arbukle the ancient Egyptians aren't sub-saharan Africans, they probably looked like the berbers

[@user-cr6gd5td9p]

@Wyeil Arbukle Ancient Egyptians were most similar to modern day near east people (Lebanon/Palestine). Classical Egyptians had a lot of crossover with the Greeks due to there political connections (Greek/Roman conquests). Overall, Egyptians had relatively little influence from or on sub-Saharan Africans because for ancient people it was a lot easier to travel across the Mediterranean than the Sahara. The earliest real transfer of people and culture was with the Islamic trans-Saharan slave trade.

[@flopus7]

"I've been kicked out of my home through no fault of my own" I guess the old testament is an accurate historical text

[@SktrBCULrB]

Tbh my people have been kicked out for a variety of “reasons.” The real reason I assume is because we as a people were just annoying enough for the local lords to kick us out outstanding debts be damned. An annotated quote from an irate lord, “Go redeem your expired coupons elsewhere you k.”

[@depthcharge126]

I will hear no more of this Hebrew nonsense - Ramses

[@Baell1]

@@SktrBCULrB Well you still are tbh, now you just have better propaganda

[@ZeroCanalX]

To some extend yes. It was a collection of stories, anecdotes and prophecies recorded by the holy/wise man, although a written account was usually provided sometime later.

[@deadliestvice5356]

"Ancient Egyptians believed that words carry power." So history DOES repeat itself, huh.

[@ledbizkits6885]

Lol creampie

[@Zukoiu]

Those who forget history are bound to repeat it. Those were words of wisdom.

[@Frerrva]

"Look at that, not a phone in sight. Just people living in the moment... dying of malaria"

[@user-im4pi4ry8x]

You actually summed up the story of isis and osiris in 4 minutes, I had to study that for a semester in Egypt... Except for the semen part, they let us... Figure it out

[@valethemajor]

wait, he wasn't kidding?

[@nararanaraiii2022]

@@valethemajor noup xD

[@Phantom_Zer0]

Egyptians probably invented pranks, incredible people.

[@S3Cs4uN8]

@@valethemajor He absolutely was not, Egyptian Mythology is a wild ride.

[@bruhsoundeffect1903]

@@Phantom_Zer0 Just a prank bro

[@AkkadDaily]

My autism is pleased that we got to see the entire pyramid completed.

[@samwelsh3309]

Didnt expect to find you here

[@theeccentrictripper3863]

You and Aydin? We really are just one big happy family, hobbies and all

[@nebulostheparticleman]

The audio is broken boomer

[@UmbraPsi]

You should either be sleeping or working on a piece depicting how beauty is seen as an universal virtue and something to always strive for

[@CompagnonDeMisere25]

First Aydin "the holocaust denier" and now Akkad "the alt-righer in denial"? Sseth has some interesting fans.

[@GoobNoob]

My teacher showed us this game in 2007 in elementary when we were learning history about the ancient world. She literally gave us a personal tutorial by hooking her computer up to a CRT as we all watched her give us pretty much a KZbin tutorial on the basics. I've always been interested in it, we never got to play it, but I'll never forget that logo and the gameplay. It's always intrigued me to try myself.

[@Nick_Whiskey]

The reason the "ghetto" works is because this engine doesn't check for correct levels of population in the area when it passes by a house - it checks the global workforce. You can put down two houses in every industrial sector of your city and you'd be fine. Its a very weird work around which is fixed in later games - in fact the hiring system is removed and just pulls from the global workforce directly. The Augustus fork of the Julius mod for Caesar 3 has the same functionality.

[@Rimmpula]

A Christmas Miracle.

[@user-iy5ln4qx6x]

he back lol

[@feorge33]

It's Kwaanza or some shit.

[@LMR909]

Hanukkah miracle*

[@chdonavon]

@@sirfatty5068 12 days of Christmas dumbass

[@ls200076]

@@sirfatty5068 Shut up Heathen, you anti-christ. Go back to your poopoo land.

[@SophiaihpoS]

“They’ll fall to the ground...and be recorded as a COVID death” Spicy

[@admiralkuroyagi2110]

@john smith Hence why it is spicy.

[@internetnoob2940]

@john smith is it okay to ask why ? I'm not from the us , if they're doing it there they'll be doing it everywhere.

[@dicemm5544]

@@internetnoob2940 Many lead doctors who are advisors to governments had gotten guidelines from the WHO, world health organization, to count anyone infected with covid as a covid death, doesn't matter if it was caused by covid or not. You had heart disease and took 3 different pills for it? Covid. Car crash? Covid. The molecular test that's also used as a more reliable method has actually insane false positive rates of 87-90%, the guy who designed this test for corona viruses, they are a family of viruses, fabricated his medical degree back in 2002-2003 and many doctors and researchers have decried it. So you got a test that shows more cases than actually exist and statistics that show anyone that's been recorded to have the virus to have died from the virus, whenever that's actually the case or not. For a more anecdotal example, the lead advisor doctor for my goverment has come out and said on national television that anyone infected with the virus and died is considered to have died from the virus, following it up by saying he thinks it's overall good they do that. A friend of mine who is immune-compromised because of medicine he is taking, not chemo-therapy, just pills, was sick with fever for about 3 days, took the quick test and molecular one, quick test showed negative, molecular one showed positive. 3 days long was his fever, 11 more days locked inside his room. Those 11 days he showed no other symptoms, he's still fine even after a month and guess what. The doctor who told him he got corona told him and his family that they don't need to be tested. So how come such a viral disease that's so lethal, didn't kill my immune-compromised friend and his family didn't have to take the tests, as per doctors orders. My answer is simply, he never had it and the doctor knew it.

[@jonlee2553]

@@internetnoob2940 Conspiracy that, under the CARES act, which gives medical facilities money for dealing with COVID, that every death is counted as a COVID death. Probably true, given our healthcare system and healthcare administrators being greedy.

[@internetnoob2940]

Thanks guys , I'll try and be more careful.

[@cinkro9616]

That end bit of the flash of games made me get addicted to Portals of Phereon because I discovered Portals of Phereon. Damn you sseth!

[@denseaf1582]

Can’t want for the review and Sseth giving the pro-tip that hermaphroditic angel-like monstergirls are able to mass-produce health potions.

[@Shadow_Fingered]

I remember playing this and the Cleopatra one when my sister and I were still in first grade. Can confirm, this game made us cry

[@darknessofevil]

I’m so glad my college’s Danny Devito shrine made it into a Seth video.

[@ClonesDream]

Tell me the story behind that shrine and how it ended up on the internet.

[@thatregularguy]

When did it appear?

[@Larauder]

The fucking what

[@ChaoticMartian]

At least put a time stop down whwre it is

[@somebody4298]

It's 5:07 guys

[@XtheReaper1]

So basically, it's no homo as long as you can claim it was all about power dynamics and showing dominance. Truly, the Egyptian gods were ahead of their time over even the modern day.

[@christophe5335]

It's a weird thing that was normalized on many ancient societies. Basically men having sex was accepted as long a you were not the passive receiver. Vikings, Romans and apparently Egyptian had that. In Roman society a noble could bang whatever he wanted (including his male slaves) as long as he was actively "giving" and not passively "receiving". Basically it's all about not being a little bitch and yeah that's still relevant.

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

"It ain't gay if you're on top!" - Some random Roman guy

[@magosexploratoradeon6409]

Always remember, you ain't gay if you're the one inserting.

[@malignantastralinfestation5834]

Absolutely based

[@heyfucko]

@@christophe5335 Naw Vikings didn't fuck men, no where in history anything supports that

[@JoshdaKnight]

Did anyone else read the family names around 1:28? “Imhotep” and “Imnothotep” got me.

[@MrXevier]

"All things worth doing are difficult." This is golden.

[@1ATMStudios]

"We don't celebrate Christmas here, 'cause we killed Jesus." 11/10

[@123deserted]

i legit loled when i heard him say that, i wasn't expecting that

[@roardinoson7]

Sseth lives in Italy?

[@basinz123]

@@roardinoson7 Sseth said he is Jewish iirc.

[@fergal2424]

@@roardinoson7 he occasionally says that he’s Jewish.

[@itaybron]

Sseth's of Roman ancestorery confirmed!

[@LucaMusumeci]

Watching the visual joke at 16:15 in mid October 2023 make me love this channel even more

[@paradoxofmind]

1999 was a watershed year for several game genres, and a great year for gamers: it gave us many games that have stood the test of time as legendary titles. Just to name a few: Pharaoh, Meyer's Alpha Centauri, Homeworld, and Roller Coaster Tycoon (some of my favorites).

[@TheStrxggler]

Nice to see SSeth get back to his roots. And by roots, I mean being whipped under the sun building pyramids for his masters.

[@jonlee2553]

underrated

[@user-pj1ec5om5g]

Yada yada yada slaves didn’t make the pyramids, yada yada yada they were well respected. Bla bla they were buried right next to them. Putting this here to before someone go’s “actually!”

[@thefool8224]

but he later escaped and became the master. going from whipped cream to whipping cream

[@SneedFeedAndSeed]

Actually slaves didn't make pyramids, they were skilled and well respected workers who were even buried properly next to the pyramids.

[@loowick4074]

@@SneedFeedAndSeed 🤓

[@Bane_questionmark]

I don't know how I never noticed the similarity between Latin graffiti and dark souls messages. "Secundus defecated here, therefore swamp ahead"

[@judyhopps9380]

skeleton man!

[@hornysanders6244]

Tempta lingua sed foramen

[@Adhjie]

really pliny secundus?

[@acer8123]

Try finger but hole

[@jmjedi923]

Great chest ahead!

[@calinpetrescu9128]

I'm stuck in an endless loop of watching all your videos, crying once I go through every single one and then starting from the beginning to stop myself from crying.

[@BubblesTheBard]

It's scary how accurate the Osiris retelling was.

[@thekingzhaul5914]

Gotta give the African man some credit, he did his research.

[@D00000T]

“you can bring civilization to Britain but you can never bring Britain to civilization” Very wise words

[@gablo1089]

As a Brit I can only agree.

[@phaethos]

"Like herding cats" springs to mind

[@prezentoappr1171]

could only imagine whats the west of pict ogham eg northwest mesoamerican and old norse that did greeland and iceland name to make the places more euphonic to live at

[@JoeMartinez18]

The main export from great britain during the roman era was " trouble"

[@ekki1993]

@Lobo Cruzado Are you implying that wasn't the case for the past thousand years?

[@bigbroarivus]

17:34 is getting truer in each day

[@ExceedProduction]

I have to say this... your delivery, intonation and jokes are spot on. I LOVE your content.

[@linshuang64]

I never paid the equivalent amount of attention in my history classes, and I’m the teacher

[@kly8105]

You sir, are proba.. definitely the reason most of us passed history. Thank you for your service.

[@LDW12887]

No shit, todays """teachers""" are a bunch of entiteled failed millanials who want to ShApE ThE YoUtH while having kids mentality themselves

[@subverzion]

@@LDW12887 lol

[@fenrirswolh3]

@@LDW12887 Rude as fuck, and unnecessary.

[@abredolflincler1423]

That's cringe, history is amazing you're lucky to have that job how could you not pay attention.

[@unjaruk]

Finally, a Yugioh review

[@TBA968]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZnzFooWGqraYqrs

[@citricdemon]

Based

[@kennym249]

I came to see the monkey

[@tyranno6694]

I didnt see the part where he summons Exodia

[@justMoriarty]

@Samoth Niffrig *Purple Realm.

[@valsharess-yt]

A prized piece of my childhood. Fantastic game. Aged like fine wine.

[@rafaelmoraesdalmolin8438]

18:58 Wait, that's degenerate

[@denseaf1582]

It’s most definitely up his alley though

[@kingghoul2324]

Also very good taste. The art is great.

[@Sliphantom]

It's shame you didn't get to Zeus, which came out in 2000 with marked improvements. One of which was temples, whose priests would occasionally go out and take your sheep for ritual sacrifice. Normally, sheep never despawned and were only occasionally sheared for fleece, but sacrificing one actually deleted sheep one at a time. You wouldn't notice this until all your fully upgraded houses started downgrading because most of the sheep that were once producing fleece were now dead. The downgraded houses forced half your workforce to emigrate, which means you didn't have enough workers to staff your city's services, which in turn lead to more houses downgrading, more emigration, etc. etc. Long story short a utopian city could collapse because sheep didn't respawn.

[@Sliphantom]

Also: Has anyone seen my spear?

[@eckitera]

@@Sliphantom Yeah... It's currently on the hands of a Roman soldier, and he used it to stab Jesus on the sides.

[@logoncal3001]

@@Sliphantom Who's next?

[@jeffpussylol2578]

It's the funny car man

[@remliqa]

Really? I usually just pop one or two sheep/goats and those little fuckers bred like rabbit. Unless there is wolves nearby, i never really have any problem with diminishing livestock. Am I misremembering things?

[@SSthunderchild]

"Skiddaddle skidoodle, I regrow your noodle!" -Thoth, probably

[@salami99]

i miss that youtuber. Forgot his name.

[@cosmicmuse2195]

Thoth is a real bro

[@COsArchive]

Yep, this does deserve top comment.

[@arielcahn7728]

In case anyone was curious, the track that plays at the end is "KHU" from the Pharaoh OST.

[@nickcole3932]

Ah yes I too have the ability to phase through walls when the tax rate is increased to 25%

[@larrywolf2509]

5:50 ... how much would we need to pay to see "Mythology as Told By Sseth" as a series?

[@doomyboi]

No joke that'd be fucking great

[@thekingzhaul5914]

Now that's a podcast idea I can get behind.

[@AlshainFR]

Imagine all the wacky shit from the Old Testament told by Sseth

[@Jstalhzet]

Appeal to the Merchant's guild.

[@DarkRipper117]

Am sure we could come to an agreement with the Merchant's guild, also to allocate founds for new inspirational research of the female form....

[@DrunkenCoward1]

I can't believe we got a fucking Seeth review where he sifts through legitimate ancient sources. Just imagine him with a pair of glasses, reading through an original Greek version of Plutarch.

[@zalseon4746]

I'm gonna level with you i kinda want him to do a lecture on indian and japanese mythology now. now THAT's a divine acid trip.

[@petkofuchalski9809]

@@zalseon4746 oh yeah, the Indian mythology is full with spaceships and other high tech for some reason.

[@zalseon4746]

@@petkofuchalski9809 ya know, i've been meaning to ask about that shit

[@Adhjie]

50suns were sent after the line Ive become komm sußer Tod the 掛狩人of chronos studio trigger

[@danielwithrow6668]

I remember getting this game in middle school and would play it for hours. I still think about this game every now and then. Loved the video.

[@navilluscire2567]

I hope one day in the near future he does a review of Age of Mythology, a great spinoff of the Age of Empires series with a mythological twist and suprisingly memorable characters and solid story arcs involving multiple cultures with their own legendary heroes, mythological creatures, mechanics and units. Oh and including the Atlantis DLC too, it was pretty good as well!

[@Rytonic69]

There should be a hack where you can finish the pyramids instantly by having aliens do it

[@ThZuao]

Well, the cheat code for building pyramids faster is "ancient astronauts".

[@Kiettax]

@@ThZuao hahaha LEL. its correct, i googled it... Ancient Astronauts - Pyramids are built at a quicker pace

[@gabclair642]

We got the Osiris myth, we got the story of Cain an Able in the Bloodlines review, we got that story about that sadistic concubine lady in the Emperor review. I just hope he continues to do these history/mythology retellings. They're funny as all hell and genuinely educational

[@MarvinT0606]

wait till he does a Zeus review and covers the Ouranos and Kronos Myths

[@hydromancer4916]

@@MarvinT0606 or even worse, the dionysus myth

[@HackionSTx]

Unfortunately, he was unAble to survive.

[@yetanothernox]

No lie dude I would watch an entire fucking series in this style of history storytelling

[@Catalistic]

don't forget the Dark Messiah

[@captain_wiesel7063]

Nearly more then 2 Years later ... Sseth took secretly around 30 people hostage, so they forced to make a 4k Remake of his childhood game.... I start fearing Sseth more, then Sseth the SS13 Server owner hired bitcoin assasins .....

[@polartechie]

The remake is a little cheesy looking but the combat changes are worth.

[@polartechie]

OH and the remade music is awesome!

[@igor0marques]

Hopping for a new vídeo soon. Love you, Seeth

[@mrsing7465]

"Build chariots to win." It's the bronze age all over again.

[@yosefyonin6824]

also the iron age

[@slyseal2091]

The only reason I can't spite you by just listing the equivalent of the chariot for every age is because Tanks were invented at the same time as planes

[@DarkArtistKaiser]

Chariots are pretty op in that era. Even then, mobility really played a crucial role in warfare.

[@antimattercarp2720]

@Eriko. Oy Nah they just pussied out before it got to that point.

[@thebomber7641]

It is possible to fight back with crazy amounts of militia

[@Phelan666]

"On April 19th, I made bread." Wow, thanks bud.

[@NeoSaturos123]

Might be a euphemism.

[@ProfessorShnacktime]

@@NeoSaturos123 Dude shit out a big loaf.

[@LokIArioch]

That's literally just what instagram is

[@SecuR0M]

@Mialisus My favorite is "O walls, what tedious graffiti you have upheld". Meme critics are the third oldest profession.

[@LucasCunhaRocha]

more than 2000 years later and we humans haven't changed at all, It is just a giant endless circle of shitposting

[@dylan-wj9jl]

every time this gets recommended. I always watch it. its like my 7th time watching this.

[@captainman6914]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🍆🤰🤢🤮😱😭☠👻

[@dylan-wj9jl]

@@captainman6914 ?

[@captainman6914]

@@dylan-wj9jl you are a great comedian Dylan

[@JoeDidIt]

bout to replay this awesome video, loved this game back in the days those big ass pyramids had me stoked as a child

[@RB-rx6fd]

"if a animal isn't beaten a citizen gets eaten" made my day

[@RB-rx6fd]

@Orwell Jones Laeddis lol

[@samuelhunter4631]

"The only response to animal fatality is police brutality" Sseth, 2020

[@mikem6468]

The best/worst part of the myth is that Set and Horus go to god-court and horus makes the semen in set's stomach call out or something, shaming him in front of the other gods.

[@HackionSTx]

OMG, so you're telling me that the semen spit it out? What an annoying character.

[@samuelhunter4631]

Snitch...

[@BluJean6692]

probably just a flowery way of implying it leaked out in front of everyone...

[@Ved000000]

They summoned both of their cooms, and Set's came out of the river (where Horus threw it) while Horus' answered from Set's stomach.

[@D.2023]

duuuuuuuuude this game is my childhood! As a 10 years old kid i was AMAZED with graphics and the ambient music. After Doom and StarCraft this game was so chill and welcoming. It made me really mad many times, but i just couldn't resist it's ASMR temptations:) Good job at remembering this masterpiece ( I actually never bet the game, hahaha)

[@zmeyagosho]

I never played Pharaoh, but Ceasar 3 ... Oh, maan! One of my favorite games of all time. Played it 20 years ago, played it last year - still the most enjoyable city builder ever!

[@Seydaschu]

"You furries are ruining Egyptian mythology with your horniness." Actual Egyptian mythology:

[@Resi1ience]

this comment is by far one of the funniest

[@YouGottaShootEmInTheHead]

Didn't and won't stop Egypt from being a shit hole.

[@randominternetsurfersurfin7595]

@@YouGottaShootEmInTheHead r00d

[@KOWAL19898]

@@YouGottaShootEmInTheHead true dat

[@ArcaneAzmadi]

I never forgave Hi-Rez Games for changing Bastet from a genuine scantily-clad black-furred cat-woman to a generic skank in anime catgirl cosplay.

[@cmbara102]

I have had "I've been kicked out of my home, and through no fault of my own." pop into my head for years, and couldn't remember where it came from. Thanks Sseth.

[@C0untersignal]

Mine is "IVE GOT NOWHERE TO LIVE" from caesar III

[@Morec0]

"I've been evicted by that greedy pig of a landlord, I hope a dragon EATS HIM!" But really, the one stuck in my head has been: "you all know it is better to give than to receive, especially to me- ah, I mean, to your government."

[@RealTallestSkil]

The accent on that voice is particularly enjoyable. At least one thousand and thirty of us will know why.

[@Cicero_de_fato]

109 times ;)

[@8Dataman8]

Has anyone seen my spear? How can I be a spearcarrier without my spear?

[@Facufasgds]

"You can bring civilization to Britain, but you can never bring Britain to civilization" That's one of the most wise words I've heard in a while.

[@SportyMabamba]

🇬🇧 has a knife based economy

[@Hanmacx]

New Pharaoh game is out on Steam!

[@alexanderrahl7034]

"I am compelled by the mechanics of the game, to form a ghetto" He's right. You are. He's right 🤣🤣

[@lausenteternidad]

I found that flaw too. I tried to have a "medium quality of life" worker's neighborhood and a "high quality of life" tax neighborhood.

[@R3GARnator]

Best to put a scattering of one tile houses around work areas. They're basically a portal network to the other houses.

[@pierate4701]

@@lausenteternidad you haven't really played this style of game til you've tried to work out what the best balance of upgrades for taxation vs effort involved is

[@AydinPaladin]

I got this game when I think I was 8 and still occasionally play it, it's that good. My fav of the Impressions games; however, I only now realized that I have NO idea how I figured out, as an 8-year-old, that performance plazas can only be placed on cross-section roads. Thanks Sseth.

[@chomskyhonk2366]

Didn't expect to see you here.

[@Shaggygottasneeze]

@@chomskyhonk2366 Lol right?

[@SuperCaelum]

@@KenshinMizuhara xDDDDDDD

[@-forcexkin-2747]

@@KenshinMizuhara Whats wrong with that? :)

[@chomskyhonk2366]

@@KenshinMizuhara Not sure if you know what Sseth's political inclinations are, kid. Not the sort of person you'd like watching.

[@ryansommercorn6693]

I choked with the tax evasion joke 😂

[@samuelhunter4631]

"Without a Palace, your Palace cannot be robbed" Aristocracy 101

[@epryn]

Honestly, 5 to 1 seems like a pretty good ratio for taking out hippos with bronze age weapons.

[@eltsoldier]

Bronze? I wish. We're literally just using copper in the game. x_x

[@mrhowl8715]

​@@eltsoldier even better, hippos are war machines

[@Aiursfallen937]

Depending on individual skill and not surprising or ambushing the hippo, 5:1 is a damn impressive ratio. Hippos are so fucking swole that they don't actually float nor can they swim. They just hold their breath and walk along the bottom of the body of water. Imagine that. Being so fucking muscular that you can only sink in water. They're an entire species of The Rock. They can fit an entire watermelon in their mouth and then crush it like a human would a strawberry. They can (and will) bite crocodiles in half. They are the end threat in Africa, as even lions will avoid them if possible. They have no chill, there is no god that can stop them.

[@temporalCaster]

Hippos are the top killers on the planet, despite being herbivores

[@InternetHydra]

@@Aiursfallen937 And they were almost imported into america's south, to solve hunger epidemics with "lake cow bacon". And there were still more adults in charge there then the current administration.

[@Katojana]

"If an animal is not beaten, a citizen gets eaten!" - Sseth 2020

[@usun_current5786]

That's racist

[@cisafrulli]

​@@usun_current5786 🤓

[@Adhjie]

@@usun_current5786 my guy seth said that and u believes the thing all ancients did besides ozymandias poem in modern times? who takes this seriously while clenching ur butt

[@Honaro2nd]

1:27 Let's all appreciate the godly save file names that our reigning orangutan has provided us with.

[@rostermaan1321]

i loved this game so mutch back in the days...maybe "a new era" will bring back alot of good memories

[@alanwestmoreland6152]

*in ancient egypt, most architecture were prone to spontaneously combust into blasing fireballs* Seth, we all know that alexandria was an inside job.

[@zimriel]

Literally was. The Alexandrians put their books in repositories by the port and derrr where are naval powers going to invade and burn first. History For Atheists blog is good for Alexandria (and Hypatia)

[@obijuanquenobi1911]

Pompeii was an inside job

[@zimriel]

@@obijuanquenobi1911 on THAT much, there was already a quake and then a series of quakes, and the smart people had left the area long before. EDIT - except for Pliny The Elder who sailed right into that mess. I think he knew he was dying already, though. He wanted to record this last event for Science. Smart, but insane.

[@dr.cherrydonutman7193]

Imagine if the hardest mode is named "the rise of moses"

[@Rinnozuke]

holy kek

[@justadudeh3re]

Objective: survive

[@empiresacks3498]

The rise of Noses*

[@jaronmalone3945]

Should've just let them go

[@unclesam1756]

@@jaronmalone3945 he probably would've but God kept "hardening pharoah's heart" so that he would then have an excuse to send more plagues.

[@JedrekVRoscoe]

I loved both these games when I was younger! Great video!

[@historiaestmagistravitae.7051]

18:36 Sseth: Dark Ages where the only video game you had was Dark Souls. Stronghold and Stronghold Crusader: Are we joke to you?

[@AkosJaccik]

16:15 - "Surprisingly functional and intuitive map editor" > Proceeds to delete Palestine

[@cinialvespow1054]

@Saqib in the Morning no the joke is thst its a great map editor because he can make Palestine disappear

[@sportyeight7769]

Because you know... he's Jewish

[@Adhjie]

@@sportyeight7769 must be ad propaganda dept. what even the hrd?

[@RemiScutlet]

Sseth"The Jew"Tzeentach

[@Assault_Butter_Knife]

>Deletes Palestine >"We killed Jesus" What did Sseth mean by this?

[@Woolie]

*sniff sniff* knew I smelled me a sseth around the corner

[@gaming.3075]

You bastard you always come up when I want to watch WoolieVS!!!

[@wariox]

bro i just finished your video

[@aiksi5605]

Hey Mister Streamer, what are you doing here? :)

[@Nightweaver1]

@@gaming.3075 Oh god somebody else knows who that is.

[@spencerkimllido7327]

Aren't you supposed to make Commando 24 hour Monsoon god runs?

[@rosdolsky]

Oh, that Russian pirate CD with Pharaoh, Caeasar & Zeus was one of the best entertainments in my life

[@megahellreaper]

18:58 Wait, seriously? Just noticed that you sneaky git. Mad respect if you actually go for it.

[@Netro1992]

"Once your enemies reach the map, they will fall to the ground and be recorded as a covid death." I love you Sseth.

[@lc9072]

And then proceeds to say stay safe. Just a big ole troll, out for some keks. I was very glad to figure out he has braincells

[@Morec0]

@@lc9072 enjoy your new normal and all it will bring. It will never end and more changes will come.

[@nigeltheoutlaw]

@@Morec0 Shut up bigot and pay the oligarchs to stay inside.

[@Morec0]

@@nigeltheoutlaw yes Uncle Sam...

[@kekmmandernchief773]

@@Morec0 you're a fool that has allowed himself to be taken advantage of. Don't you realize the government is fooling you into not wearing a mask by trying to force you to wear a mask so that you won't hide your face from all of the CCTV running facial recognition software? I mean it's pretty obvious, the signs are all there and it's you're classic reverse psychology, but fools like you fall fir the trick and don't wear your mask thinking that your disobeying a overstepping government when really your playing into there hand.

[@principalitycharlie5820]

Can we please get a new series: Sseth explains mythology?

[@FurArmoredBear]

this would be an arrsome spin of series XD we need this know Sseths History channel

[@chiekokurokumo]

The Seth History Channel: the show we didn't know we needed

[@thefool8224]

imagine him on the internet historian discussions about topics like art, mythology and etiquette

[@chiekokurokumo]

@@thefool8224 [vibrating with excitement gif] THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN

[@FurArmoredBear]

@@chiekokurokumo Sseth discussing etiquettes while sipping high quality tea Sseth if you see this make your history channel now it wil be golden!

[@OrataKopata]

Sir! Siiiir! Where have you been all my life! Jesus! What a brilliant, wonderful gem of a channel you have! Bravo, Sir, bravo! 8 out of 8, I would recommend!

[@incap6038]

I played this game when I was 12. 20 long years ago. Thank you Seth.

[@sskyy-fff3667]

"caves of qud was 2 months ago, where is him?" OH BOY HERE IT IS

[@hmmmooops]

holy shit it was two months ago

[@feorge33]

Finally, someone stopped feeding Mandalore his sped meds.

[@jonlee2553]

@@TheVerinen2 that's why he talks to the coyotes.