How To Handle A Narcissist - Dr. Phil

[@brisk9104]

I was 6 hours away from marrying this person. Calling it off - however late - was the best thing I've ever done. I had finally felt like myself again.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Wow that took a lot of courage

[@cyberninjasworld]

Awesome!!

[@bellaapple2166]

That's strength right there Yess bless you ❤️🙏🏻

[@myrnabryant7992]

Good for you 👍

[@tranquility9325]

Glad you did that.

[@SarcasticLampr4y]

No one gets more upset than a Narcissist being accused of something they said/did.

[@kimcissell1905]

Never challenge them.

[@bondjane007]

@@kimcissell1905 Yes U can't win with them. 1 Narc said to me when I said something different from something they might say would say to me almost every time we talked. He would say,"so in other words U R saying this!" Always trying to make me defend my position till I just say.,"You R right all the time." He would answer ,"Right, you should know I am always right." He actually believes I believe he is right when I don't.

[@Missssrooty]

Nobody falls in love faster than a narcissist that needs a place to live 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@SandraALGIERE-xb2us]

Not me

[@MarieJGann]

You can say that again! So glad i found this video.

[@katherinebruce500]

I've never known a narcissist that wasn't also a coward. They are too weak and fearful to look at themselves for what they really are. Treating others as peons so you can feel better about yourself is evil, and it's a choice.

[@Michael-en3yl]

Very well said.

[@katherinebruce500]

@@Michael-en3yl Thank you.

[@christar9527]

Best post here. They are weak and ugly. I have been through unimaginable hell and I’m not a narcissist. They take the easy way out and choose to drag good people down to feed their pathetic little egos. I’ve known so many and they absolutely disgust me.🤮 NO CONTACT is the only way to deal with the situation.

[@christar9527]

Oh and yes.... they are evil!

[@katherinebruce500]

@@christar9527 Amen to that! I'm old now but I wish I knew the truth when I was younger. Would have saved me from their venom. Finally figured them out and now I have intact shields and boundaries

[@Sweetpea-2023]

You don’t deal with these people. You escape them.

[@danoux0]

Exactly what I did!

[@TheSimba86]

@MisaMisaIsOnTop problem is they are masters at looking genuine when they need to

[@nilomartinezjr4108]

@MisaMisaIsOnTop Sorry to say, but I don´t buy this any longer. My ex as a book case for Covert Narcissistic Behavior, and she had therapy. Every week, for as long as it helped her keep the cover of "trying to get better". They do not get better, they get smarter. And you will always end up with the short end of the stick. There is no dealing with these people, only surviving or leaving.

[@nilomartinezjr4108]

@MisaMisaIsOnTop But they are. They will destroy you if given the chance. No questions asked. They have no empathy, no regret. They will use you until you have nothing left to give and then they will discard you as yesterday's trash. I will say one thing only about this issue, I do not wish this type of person on my very worst enemy ever, because NO ONE deserves to go thru what I did trying to help my former gf. God and I know what happened and what it has cost me.

[@mikegreen8014]

YOU are A Narcissist just judging by your name and comments​@MisaMisaIsOnTop

[@sammylhpate9382]

5 red flags NPD is likely: 1: Pathological liar (repetitive) 2: No Empathy 3: Uncontrollable anger 4: Superiority, entitlement 5: zero accountability : REPEAT.

[@pinkyrose6307]

Trump description. Lol

[@karenkaren244]

@@pinkyrose6307 oh so handsy, grabby Joe is Mr. Normal!

[@clare2002]

@@pinkyrose6307 you mean Biden

[@SK-dy2ie]

EXACTLY!!! And for those of you who think this is a political statement, it’s not. It’s based on Trumps behavior.

[@clare2002]

@@SK-dy2ie trump has a right to be himself. All he has ever done was HELP the American people. You Fools voted for Biden and look at the mess he has made! Border crisis, high fuel, high energy, shut down 3 pipelines with no replacement of energy, high taxes for the working class at 40%, covid vaccine mandates when the cov19 vaccine does not cure cov19!high inflation in cost of living, job losses, took benefits from seniors, higher insurance and he just got 2.3 trillion for an infrastructure plan that makes no sense....and u voted for him to destroy our lives? Fools....

[@dub1951]

Being with a narc is like doing time for a crime you didn't commit be your own judge and jury and set yourself free

[@Ladybird5426]

Ha! This is the perfect analogy! Ty!

[@tempestboomer5653]

This is the Best expression for what it’s like to be with a Narc that I have ever read!! 17 yrs married with Narc… I finally set myself free!!!

[@katiedixon9316]

Very well put

[@nelle9118]

26 years and I had no clue this was a thing until " I abandoned " him. Wasn't his fault he butt dialed my teen age daughter while with his 1 of many mistresses. This time I had proof! Been 7 years and I'm still trying to get back the old me.

[@Boertje247]

Soooo true!

[@iancraig6070]

Ignore them,have nothing to do with them. Life gets so much better and so much more relaxed.

[@BernhardSchwarz-xs8kp]

And never ever make the mistake of giving them "one more chance". They will that one more chance and stick it to you - guaranteed.

[@Fartfordaze]

Sometimes they are the parent of our child and we literally can’t ignore them…feeling stuck.

[@marymeager4513]

@@Fartfordazeor they are a daughter and mother of our grandkids .

[@NancyMoran-r3b]

That’s difficult when she keeps your grandchild away from you. I have to keep trying to see my only grandchild.

[@iancraig6070]

@@NancyMoran-r3b A terrible,tragic situation which I've experienced. All I can say is follow your heart,but even that can be used against you. Take care.

[@ElixirOfLife-mm7kn]

Ways to irritate a narc: 1. Being unpredictable 2. Talking highly of someone else 3. Being happy and the reason is not them 4. Talk only transactional aspects 5. Very importantly, not being jealous of them but show your happiness for their success (this irritates the narc as they expected jealous reaction from you) 6. Talk to them when you want and they do not have access to you when they want. 7. Genuinely not be interested in them! ✨

[@kjbkjhkjhjk7775]

yup, high self worth and self esteem confuses them. The minute you have those things, they don't have any power over you, because you realise they are full of lies.

[@jessieb7290]

Thanks. I think I like number 3 the best ❤

[@goatinmysoup]

Ignoring them does a good job

[@ShirleyShirley-t5f]

Wait, deal with it, raise your kids, support them emotionally, leave as soon as possible.

[@lesliebeckwith2483]

I TOLD MY NARC THAT HE WAS MAKING A MISTAKE GETTING MARRIED TO A WOMAN HE HARDLY KNEW, HE THOUGHT I WAS JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW HE HAS HIS HEAD IN A TOILET AND HE'S READY TO FLUSH IT!

[@jimmylipsjaymo]

I was married to a narcissist for 13 years and I finally found the strength to escape. During those 13 years I thought I was losing my mind. After being free from it all I am able to be myself again.

[@stevec3892]

I married the queen of narcissist . All the redflags were there and I still took a chance . After five months after the love bombing she totally devalued me . She’s still in love with her narcissist ex who she told me he’s in the past . She went away and got a separation agreement and told her she’s not back in the house . She went crazy and told me she will ruin my life . She blames me and says I abused her and did this and that lol . I have her on video going crazy , hitting me and bribing me . First thing she did was text her ex and he got her a lawyer

[@pamelarangel7104]

So glad for you!

[@elizabethlacky6068]

That's exactly right, the narcissistic wants you to believe you're nuts so they can control you.

[@jimdaniel4412]

13 must be magic number and I've been gone for 8 years with the kids. Still today I deal with abuse

[@brentschmoeckel1420]

Yup that’s exactly it

[@angelawheatley7111]

100 percent accurate. Don’t feel sorry for someone who is unable to acknowledge their disorder. They will try and break you. Over and over.

[@jackiecurtis8588]

I’ve just left a 13 year relationship, 2 weeks ago. I’ve done all that I could do! Your right, Dr. Phil. I could never do enough! Was there times where things between us were good? Of course there was! She was like a “normal” person for weeks, months, even years! She seemed to have respect for me, empathy for me, and I did believe that she Loved me. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, for no apparent reason, it seemed, she became evil ! The critical remarks, the entitled behavior, the expectations that I do everything for her, and the world revolved around her!! Nothing about ME mattered, it was all about her! One day, the switch would flip, and she would be back to the gentle, concerning, woman, I fell in love with! It was so confusing to me! When I brought up how she had hurt me, in many ways, when she was ‘evil’, she would profusely apologize, and say, she “didn’t know why she said or did the things she did”, she “Loved me, and would never treat me like that again!”.. Except, eventually, She would! I didn’t, and, still don’t understand that behavior 😢! I lived like that for 13 years with her!! I couldn’t take it anymore! I had to leave to save my sanity, and what little respect I had left for myself!!

[@youtubeuploads7208]

Dated one - and he also as I described had anti social disorder which is a sociopath - I worked for a psychiatrist and when I described him that’s the disorder and I bought a book the sociopath next door and it described this person to a T!

[@polpol1005]

@@jackiecurtis8588 who said that was a trait of narcissism and not something else?

[@donnacook0856]

​@@jackiecurtis8588 8

[@shuxiongbao2698]

Agree with Dr. Phil on this one. Narcissists, frauds, scams, pathological liars - they hide behind different front personalities. They swing from being a victim & blame you for everything. Acknowledge them & avoid them - even if they are your family members.

[@StephenGangi]

I don't even like Dr Phil, but he's absolutely right here. You don't change them. You don't fix them. You get away from them, as fast as possible, and permanently.

[@sharonanderson440]

Well then why are you listening to him? Lol

[@katlynhall69]

Yes he’s right he would know he is one

[@jerikropp6394]

Ignore them. Whenever they try to push your buttons, don't react, don't get mad, yell, scream, throw things, slam doors, etc., just IGNORE them, they can't stand it because they realize they have lost their control over you.

[@TheBobbymcd]

tried it, my sister is one and if i dont answer her she will say out loud 'are you ok' 'im worried about you, are you ok!!?' it affected her so much she told her daughter i was hitting her...she is now banned from the house, i have not spoken to her in about a year and if i see her i will cross the street.

[@magicimaginations]

But you then get into trouble for ignoring them, to get them off your back you have to agree with them even if they are wrong.

[@DC-su4eg]

Yeah, go "gray rock " on them. Show no emotion at all if you can't go no contact. They absolutely hate it!

[@ferrisdonoso4556]

My problem is that the possible narcissist is a 12 year old child in a family for whom I do a lot of childcare. Sort of a grandmother role. Can't ignore him. When you don't let him have his way or try to get him to do something he doesn't want to do, there are tantrums. Arguing and screaming, and if you insist on boundaries or behavior he escalates to destroying things and hurting his siblings. I once tried to shut him in his room and he climbed out the second story window to prove I could not control him. If you and everyone else leave the house to stop the confrontation, he considers it a win - he has forced you out and then acts like nothing happened when you come back. He loves to annoy, provoke and make others miserable, but explodes if you look at him cross-eyed by accident. Never takes responsibility, never apologizes. Keeps you engaged with periods of calm and cooperation that give you hope that there can be improvement. He is very smart, very original and I really enjoy him at times. Tantrums happen only at home. Seems to have self- control in public. Some asperger-ish behaviors. Hard to tell struggles with over stimulation from manipulation. No clue how to respond in the moment or help him in the long run. Is he doomed? Is there any way to get through to him?

[@jerikropp6394]

@@ferrisdonoso4556 sounds like he may also be bipolar?

[@toneman335]

The only way to deal with a narcissist is to avoid them and keep distance from them.

[@liliabenavides4052]

It is my own mother.

[@robk9685]

This sets them into high gear. I have proof.

[@heikekershaw8990]

That’s hard to do when your own child is like this.

[@50farrell]

Sad when your president is one. How come so many in the repub party have allowed him to remain in control. Is this an indication of their mental illness, immaturity, or greed?

[@rubio9478]

Oh God, sorry to hear that. They never change. Ever. You're better off giving them up for adoption if they're still young enough.

[@doristserkezis998]

I lived the nightmare for 22 years. Dr Phil nailed it. Avoid them at all costs. RUN

[@jefferybrown8062]

That’s a long time. I’m glad you found peace.

[@marymuwowo9599]

Glad you walked away alive after living with a narcissist for so long. You must have a very strong personality.

[@johnholmes6741]

Oh Doris - you loved it and you know it! Best years of your life!

[@K1ngq4t]

@@johnholmes6741why would you expose your evil self publicly like this ? Genuinely curious about how tortured one has to be to type such a despicable comment towards a npd survivor.

[@dorothycherino-duran6251]

It's to late for me.. I've lived with one 48 year's....Now he stays downstairs and I upstairs so it works out fine....

[@Stephchang-d3l]

Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.

[@Leannot35]

He even seemed to find pleasure to make up some lie about his ex that had her intestine problem in the hospital because she ate too much ham that he kept bringing her isn't that weird??? Creepy?? I'm thinking that it was just one of his fear tactics or gaslighting or just causing grief because it's funny my stomach's been bothering me this whole year after 10 years and still room and eating over things I never could make sense of and people that do that are so cool but I have noticed there is quite a few people that do these things summon worse ways than others those that get pleasure and others pain I don't really want any kind of relationship in any way

[@davidpaar4318]

Speechless but impressed. I don't what to say apart from you understand.

[@goatinmysoup]

Appreciate everything you said in that comment. Thank you very much.

[@raamyasharahla535]

You nailed it! Wow!

[@bestkatunzi-q3s]

Simply awesome 🙌🏽😊

[@mscharita]

The best thing to deal with a narcissistic person is to walk away and cut them out completely 🙌🏾

[@d.benders2413]

EXACTLY! ..and NEVER let them back in..NEVER!

[@mscharita]

@@d.benders2413 NEVER 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🔥

[@lauralawrence2029]

@@mscharita EVER !

[@joanklein6463]

Had to do that with my Dad.

[@garrylafferty100]

sound good but what if you have a child with them but not together anymore that dad has rights

[@6kids3cats]

I always told my kids that if someone hast to make you look bad to make themselves look better , they are definitely someone to avoid

[@danaolsen9488]

I'm currently married to a narcissist, I've been aware of this for the most part of our 5yrs together, and it's as bad as Phil has described. I'm losing in every way possible, and I'm not very proud of myself. I need some help. I'm not writing this as a desperate plea to have anyone come to rescue me, I'm simply making a step by writing it down, which as I'm doin at this moment, actually helps.

[@misshoneynevercame4832]

Curious to know if you have gotten any help by now. The first step could be to start speaking to a therapist if you don't want to take drastical steps right away.

[@missmiraink]

You have to rescue yourself 🙏 .. the only way to win with a narcissist is to stop playing the game!

[@misshoneynevercame4832]

@@missmiraink The best thing to do is to leave and get out as fast as possible.

[@HopeinJesus1987]

I pray God will set you free and protect you 🙏 😢

[@Nigelsmom2136]

Leave. Life is too short to put up with the toxicity. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

[@brito50]

My wife has a couple of narcissistic sisters. Let’s just say they now play a very minimal role in our lives. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

[@DeborahPierce-pu1et]

A narcissist is trying to control me and my partner. We have tried over the years to get them out of our l8ves. I walked away recently. My partner is still in her sway. Even Dr Phil couldn't fix this one. But I've changed my banking information, blocked her and her partner and sent a cease and desist letter to them jointly demanding that they cease all untrue statements that are damaging to my reputation. Blocked all Private and unknown calls from my phone. Things couldn't be quieter.

[@jennifer7648]

My husband has some of them. We stay away from them too.

[@GailMcl-t2n]

My older sister was like this. She died I walked away from her five years before that. Never went to funeral. She will never hurt anyone again.

[@forty_two42]

My grandmother was a Narcissist. My father spent 50 years trying to change her. She died recently and it's the first time I've ever seen my dad at peace.

[@imbrakingthrough2152]

So happy for him . Fuck the narcissists

[@DA-jw4lx]

My mom is one, she's 83 and I don't think she has that much longer to live. I really love her, I realize that's only by God's grace, but I sometimes wonder if after she passes if I will have peace and relief from her, or....if I will miss her just because she's my mother.

[@picilocarnal]

@@DA-jw4lx I guarantee you won’t miss her, but you’ll remember ver with a tinge of sadness bec she could never stop being a narcissist

[@Luna_and_Miles]

It's horrifying how they ruin lives. I am 60 years old and I have four narcisissts in my family, two not blood relatives, only related by marriage. I'm hoping I can finally be free of the control one of them has had over my entire life, I hope I get to enjoy a life free of it, if I live long enough.

[@yourbeautybff]

@@DA-jw4lx you will probably feel both.

[@timewoundsallheels4ever]

Don’t handle them, RUN ! Life’s too short and challenging enough.

[@goldilocks3593]

When you know, you go. As quickly and quietly as possible.

[@kimberleeberry2039]

What if it's your own child?

[@WhiteAngelLovesEarth]

it's hard to run when you're in love, or when the narcs are your parents or siblings

[@memfis3858]

It is impossible when your mother is a narcisist. Before u learn anything about narcisists, like when u are 15 oraz 20, they will destroy u and make u their little toy... By the time u grow up, u will be sucked all in in their game and groomed by a narc mother... So if u are raized by a nar mother, u will never have self worth your whole life... u will have guilt to have it, u will be acared to have it... So... ya, good advice fot narcs at work, but real arcs in the family = u are screwed for life.

[@annekerotterdam7499]

@@kimberleeberry2039 believe me.....it's hard but a person, mother son or whaterver, suffering from NPD will abuse you, hurt you over and over again. It's a disorder!!

[@busbystandup1337]

It's especially shocking how easily and often a narcissist will call someone else a narcissist

[@rosiemackenzie5976]

I agree, I've noticed that.

[@icu3869]

And EVERYTHING bad they do, they accuse YOU of, and convince everyone else THEY are the victim.

[@Sim-po1mc]

Usually narcissists dont even know the meaning of it

[@singingforthelordjesusviviane]

Yes. Indeed! It came out of his mouth! This called Projection. They will project everything they are on you, to make you confuse.

[@RaggamuffinGirl420]

Omiiiigod! Yesss. So true.😂😂😂 💯💯💯

[@304sg]

“It is not your job to fix them; and you couldn’t fix them if it WAS your job.” Thank you Dr. Phil

[@keithmccaslyn2527]

I swear, he nailed it !! When I was a young Lion into Middle age, Lord know I tried and tired this, to very little if any avail. Im done with their bullshit now and have grown by leaps and bounds. Live your Life, inspire yourself, your LIFE IS YOURS it FITS YOU LIKE YOU SKIN!!

[@theodorerobert6774]

I don’t care what anyone says, Dr Phil is a good man. He’s also very knowledgeable and I might add, quite sexy. I wish he was gay, I mean jeez… hubba hubba

[@AA-cb7dz]

The argument itself is their reward.

[@MichaelGilgallon]

Dr Phil has this completely nailed. The biggest mistake I made was thinking that their cup could ever be filled. There is no such thing as "enough" for a narcissit. They are fundamentally incapable of being satisfied. The key to surviving an encounter with a narcissit is to not even try with them in the first place.

[@rubymccaslin6841]

Thank You Thank You

[@AlexCass1515]

I can understand why people would wanna stay away from us lol, it’s probably good advice but I just can’t help myself 🤷🏾

[@tammychadwick8468]

I want my friend to listen to you Dr.Phil because she lives with a lady that is definitely a narcissist .She has a very hard time trying to live with her .but cares alot for this woman .and I think she thinks she will help some change her .thank you Dr.Phil very interesting

[@keylablacc561]

💯💯🤣 I promise you to stay away 🙅🏾‍♀️ they are sick

[@gracenembhard4733]

Michael... When I read your comment, I remembered a passage in Proverbs (in the Bible) that talks about 4 things that never say "It is enough". Since I've been learning about narcissists, I have added them to the list!! (The passage is Proverbs 30:15-16, for the enquiring minds.) Update: Looking at the passage again, I wonder... I don't think I need to add anything, because they are ALREADY there in the passage!! You see that word - "horseleach"?? What is that, you ask? It is a blood-sucking leech that lives in the nasal passages of horses. What do you think happens to horses once a horse leech takes up residence in their nasal passages?? You follow my drift?

[@jeankind9245]

I once heard a comment about how to leave a narcissist....and it made me feel better because I realized I did exactly that when I left. At least I did one thing right for myself. That quote goes as follows: When leaving a narcissist....RUN AWAY rather than walk away, BUT do it quietly.

[@janenarducci1650]

S

[@carinfelska5774]

Appsoulutly

[@rosaviolillo9564]

💯

[@paularubin4711]

Tell Harry

[@albertonkoba4646]

RUN AWAY rather than walk away, BUT do it quietly.

[@kittiescorner222]

Also, don't feel obligated to have a relationship with a narcissist. They are abusing you and they literally are incapable of loving you. You shouldn't have to live with abuse. You are not trash. You are worth more then that.

[@asadzeethree2726]

You're The Best!!! Hope you're okay, and doing well.👍💯🌟💚✨

[@Kazzas73]

Feeling like a piece of trash is exactly how they make you feel. So glad I walked away from it.

[@homegown1234]

Unfortunately, I learned that when I started to try to get my self-confidence back and started to read up on narcissism in relationships. Coming from one that felt obligated to support my mother, despite her marriage, I should have left but felt an overwhelming need to help my older sister because she had nothing. So I stayed until I turned 28 years old and moved out and never came back to my mother's dismay. If I had stayed I had already bad depression worse than anyone and thought about suicide. That's why I left after 12 years living with my mother's family. I had enough.

[@kittiescorner222]

@@homegown1234 Well at least you finally got out. Now you are free and can recover and hopefully know that you are not this terrible person you were made out to be.

[@homegown1234]

@@kittiescorner222 - I did get away but not far enough - since whenever money was needed she would come to my apartment or my job. I had to tell her to stop this because I was living independently and had bills to pay. She would never give up but hounded me. Unfortunately, after I got married too and was raising my children. She seems to be the type of person that felt she deserved every possible free hand in life but never wanted to work for what she was given. That makes my situation bad - since her husband refused to work and the only dependence was our father's Social Security of $300 per month plus - whatever my sister would provide from her income too. It was such a difficult situation when she died, I paid for her funeral but also my sister's because she gave so much. As a sister I was devoted to her for all she did for our mother. What I learned children should not be leaned on by selfish parents to their children throughout their entire life to pay bills that our parents acquired. I learned valuable lessons not to repeat my parents irresponsibility ways. I thank God for his gifts to become an adult and work hard to provide for myself and those I was responsible to be as a parent.

[@lynngemmel7842]

The narcissist can/will make a person think they are going crazy.

[@d3vilz_lair666]

It worked...lost my mind several times and here it was her the time tearing me down to build back her way in what she wanted but I kept resisting by seeing through the BS and she'd come at me another way saying she was pregnant (she had a partial hysterectomy)

[@jetpilot3714]

@@d3vilz_lair666 Mine had her tubes tied and not just tied, but burned for lack of medical terminology. And she pulled that with me calling me up one day telling me she thought she was pregnant. The most manipulative unsympathetic individual I’ve ever met. I thank God every day to be free from that monster.

[@d3vilz_lair666]

Dr Phil should have the entire Kardashian and Jenner family on his show for this...now that's DRAMA

[@mmelero951]

Living it currently! 23 years of being hopeful and believing they want to change because they cry a river and you have kids that get sad at the thought separation. Feeling like your inside a box and can’t get out like your trapped and stuck. Everything Dr. Phil says is 100% correct. And boy do they lie! And yes always always someone else’s fault no accountability. But can they victimize themselves in front of others and people will believe it so frustrating and sad.

[@FlappyBelly]

What if the person is actually going crazy?

[@kamelmicheal6462]

A narcissist is one of the most INSECURE persons. The best option is LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

[@laurabernard2094]

Absolutely 💯percent! Only way to save yourself!!

[@prizvinyam8356]

@@P55999spot on. That’s exactly described my ex . He still and does hurt me psychologically and emotionally together with our children.

[@sylviaparker9010]

I agree, my sister is a narcissist, she's always been jealous,and very insecure, after an altercation with her when my husband died, i called her out and said that you are insecure, offered to go to therapy with her, she said they can't tell me anything. Its taken me years to realise she won't change as there's nothing wrong g with her. So I finished with her. Friends says, but its your sister, but for my sanity ive had to do this. In my eighties I want a bit of peace.

[@rustamanda]

It scares me to do that.

[@kamelmicheal6462]

@@rustamanda you need to conquer your fear for once. Narcissists do NOT have prognosis and almost never change their narcissistic behaviours. There will be some suffering as you keep thinking about the few good moments but it’s much less than the CONTINUOUS 24/7 suffering being with a narcissist Yiur little suffering without a narcissist is CONTROLLED BY YOU, however the immense suffering being with a narcissist is controlled by them

[@nicolegarib]

“I don’t have a problem; you have a problem.” So True…how often did I hear this?!

[@anamariazorraquin218]

Often

[@patriciakenealy9201]

ALMOST DAILY 😮

[@bondjane007]

Once I said I think U R a Naracissit because U failed a narc test & it concluded U were a narc. He yelled back at me, "no you R the narcissist!" This I understand is typical as to what narcs say when U call them on being a narc. I yelled back,"no am your source. I am an Empath." I doubt he even knows what that means.. But I now see how he can B a narc. Likes to B stage center, doing all the talking & entertaining everyone, always being right & once I heard him say his wife was the most beautiful woman in the whole world! Yikes! That was a bit off the charts. She is o.k. pretty, but no knock out for sure even when she was younger.She was slightly above average in the looks department, but no drop dead hot. Well to him she is the hottest & that is a good thing so he won't wonder off to other woman. He is very nice looking, but over weight & lacking tenderness & empathy I believe.. So not to many woman would go for him I doubt.. He also is overweight, very religious & a Trump guy I think or at least very high winged & living in Florida! He is funny & entertaining, but seems to think he knows it all when it comes to religion & politics..

[@neridaduncan2710]

​@@bondjane007i dont need to go to therapy, there is nothing wrong with me! Its everyone else.

[@UshaM-ov2qy]

Ya. They stalk u and say we have a problem for reacting to their abuse. He knew he was gonna hurt. That's why he was saying I think I might gonna hurt u. I wanted to block u so that u will be happy with someone else. Now that I m allowing him to live his life without bothering him, he can't stand that. He wants to sit in my devices like a parasite and obsess abt me because I m his prey

[@kathleenjimenez8394]

Ten years ago, my daughter marrried a man and over time it became obvious he was a narcissist. Two kids later and one physical abuse episode, she finally left him. He threw her across the room and slammed her head into the wall. The police officer did what my husband and I weren’t able to do, he talked her into leaving. Going on three months and I’m so proud of her.

[@boltholemuse.2735]

She should never look back, because he will not change. No matter what he says.

[@roserkk]

Continue talking with your daughter and encouraging her to stay strong, many narcs will try to pull them back into the relationship, whether it’s 6 months or 6 years… proud of your daughter for getting out, and proud of you for being there for her

[@freespeech4023]

Why is he still alive or mashed up, I tried to kill a man who touched my son, he ended up in hospital for 3 weeks, if it had been my daughter I would have taken him away and chopped his body up and sunk him out to sea

[@lisaskaggs6357]

My daughter, I fear is in the same situation. After 12 years and not seeing my grandkids because of her husband I pray she gets out. I see all these comments and now I know I'm not the only one experiencing this. This was so spot on and he's right you can't win. When I figured that out my blood pressure went way down.

[@Nan-hj8on]

Praise God for that awesome police officer and she listened 🥰

[@Jesusfirstlovedus]

I have noticed they often harbor unforgiveness toward someone else

[@nicholasnyanzi2309]

True

[@melmac7674]

The narc I know loves the word revenge. She thinks she is doing GOD's work (out of her own mouth)

[@margarethollis5620]

I was married to one for too many years! He so cleverly love bombed and manipulated me so gradually that after a few years I was his puppet! As he aged his behaviour worsened to the point where I had to leave, go no contact and divorce him.

[@wendyelliott6828]

Me too Margaret. I managed till he began to fall apart. I divorced him to save my own life.

[@Lisabug2659]

You are absolutely spot on. Their life is a delusion and they cleverly use people to fast track their own goals. When you wise up, they could care less. It has cost me financially, emotionally and psychologically to learn that these people are destructive soulless meat suits walking the earth. I have wasted years in a marriage that was only transactional. His life is dismal without “supply” there is zero self-awareness on his part. There is no fixing these people. And getting rid of them is like dirty chewing gum that sticks to your shoes....

[@margarethollis5620]

@@Lisabug2659 you are so right, and they poison the people dearest to you with their lies and manipulations. He has caused me to lose the relationship with my son and my grandchildren. These people are pure evil!

[@sheryl7837]

My story exactly! God bless you. I am now married to the man of my dreams, a complete 180 degrees from my ex. I never knew marriage could be so wonderful. 🥰

[@pritis4362]

I wish it was that simple for me 😥

[@chrisbyrne5358]

Go no contact and run.Don’t ever go back. You cannot win.

[@jengable4888]

If you can afford to !!

[@rue258]

I have been on no contact with my narcissist husband. I separated from him after 5 months of marriage. He was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. I couldn't take it anymore.

[@brendakrause5639]

@@rue258 so glad you saw it early you were spared so much pain. I was in for 22 years before I understood I was not the crazy one

[@smoothandchunky1]

@@jengable4888 can you afford not to? What's your sanity and peace worth?

[@Mrs.Longley]

You win by leaving, you win at rock bottom. You win when you feel like you lost. Because you lost nothing, you gained everything. I’m financially at rock bottom, I’m emotionally at rock bottom, I’m mentally at rock bottom… I can gain it all back without continuously being kicked when I’m down. I have reality I have freedom, I can change, I can rebuild, I have power over myself. No contact = no control .

[@crazygrandma]

The best way to handle a narcissist is to keep away from them or they'll suck your soul. Even if you're related to them, keep away.

[@seetsamolapo5600]

What if they hold financial sway on you?

[@seetsamolapo5600]

@@realhet I'm well aware that self sufficiency resolves all but it's a work in progress. Choosing between hunger with peace of mind and needs met with surrounding toxicity. How do you make a choice there?

[@Gemmarose9012]

@@seetsamolapo5600You start taking steps to become financially independent. If you’re hurting enough that’s what you’ll do.

[@seetsamolapo5600]

@@Gemmarose9012 of course that goes without saying. It's the only solution (I can think of) but like all valuable things it takes time meanwhile one's situation is barely bearable

[@seetsamolapo5600]

@@realhet I'm glad you got out. I think I should find out more about this grey rocking thing I've only heard about it recently because it seems it's the only solution when coexistence with a narcissist has to happen

[@dannafreespirit6831]

Narcissists don't want to change.

[@BarbaraMarrs-xy7rc]

They get what they want by manipulating people.

[@junecoleman9030]

They are in love with themselves first and foremost …..and that is forever

[@junecoleman9030]

They are on a pedestal …and they don’t come off ….ever !!

[@junecoleman9030]

If you want to be continuously sick and perpetually miserable ….live with a Narcissist…I stayed for 20 years ….and finally told him this is madness ..I am gone 🎉

[@kathyschwartz6009]

@@junecoleman9030 I think I should write a book. It’s been 52 years for me, hell and back. Be glad you left.

[@beejoy6153]

The first 30 seconds are golden!!! "Don't try to change a narcissist....I tried to do it.... it's above your pay grade...". Thanks Dr. Phil!😁

[@SweetChicagoGator]

DON'T TRY TO CHANGE ANYONE, not just a narcissist ! That should be a golden rule !! Hard for people to think, that's why most people judge ! So many people criticize, but very few support & nurture their partner. 🤪

[@abiabiola4778]

Same here ! For 13 years , I almost lost my life . He abused me in every way and made sure I filed for bankruptcy. It didn’t stop me from leaving as I knew I would always get myself together again . Best thing that happened to me was leaving , these people are demons . They never want to see you succeed and everything you do to help them is always used against you . For anyone still hanging on, please take that move and don’t look back . ❤️

[@chynadoll77cyn59]

Yep you’re lose yourself trying to change them type ppl.

[@SweetChicagoGator]

@@chynadoll77cyn59 LOL !! I was Lost in Lust in Love with a Libra narcissist. 🥰🥴🤪

[@Virvepaulina]

For some reason we don't believe when told, or we just don't see it going in, and have to learn the hard way. But. At least we can learn 🙈

[@mantia39]

My mother is one. Haven't spoken to her in almost 11 years. Finally figured it out,and my life has been much better since.

[@kerrystone7375]

I understand what you are saying. My mother is also one too. I haven't spoken to mine in 15 years. She was terrible to me for years and the last time it was the night before my father's funeral. It was devastating as I lost both parents that day. But I've been free of her sarcastic hurtful personality for a long time now and although it's sad we have to preserve some sanity for ourselves. 😊

[@stevecoleman1180]

My mother is one too. 12 years without the pain and drama and lies and destruction and stealing. Such a relief!

[@lindaknight5]

I am only now beginning to realize following my mother's passing eight years ago that she also was a narcissist. It's a very painful journey.

[@johnholmes6741]

Haven’t spoke to mine in that amt time either. Congrats!

[@marilynmoney2771]

Bless your heart 💞 It's an added heartache when it's your mom, me too 20 years no Contact since I was a. Little Girl, I realized early in life That she wAs unlike Any Of the moms I .met when I attended kindergarten So I found a way for a Couple to help me

[@karenwellington8569]

Don't "deal" with them, LEAVE them alone. Best thing you can do, no matter who it is in your life.

[@FirstLast-oz6rs]

You are 100% correct, there is no safe way to coexist with a narcissist. They are manipulative and dangerous. Often times they know how to put up a front, fake being sincere and caring, but have no illusions, they only care for themselves. It's very difficult to see things clearly when you are on the inside, but giving yourself distance, cut the other people off, seek multiple professional opinions, and then come to realize the danger in the situation you left. People who spend time around narcissists will discover that their lives were stolen from them.

[@suburbankaren5137]

I agree. Distance.

[@gumshoe7237]

@@suburbankaren5137 a lot of distance .. broke up with my ex went nc on her , and three years later she's married , and still texting me insulting me and telling me how much better her new husband is then I was .. I just don't respond.. Married and still thinking about the ex because he told her no and went nc .. smh..

[@philcarty]

@@gumshoe7237 Best you can do is get a quickie from crazy then leave her again LOL

[@mavrick6499]

Even if it's your mother? That's so tough for me.

[@kristinemorley4337]

They never let you finish a sentence , they’ll interrupt you & finish with something that they think you were saying and argue about it , …totally crazy.

[@BarbaraMarrs-xy7rc]

You have conversation about a topic they know nothing about, or they are not interested in and will the topic of conversation to what interests them.

[@kristinemorley4337]

@@BarbaraMarrs-xy7rc what ??? 😂😂😂😂

[@jennifermaxwell98]

So true ...if I ever want to say something during a convo, I literally have to interrupt because they just won't pause for me to speak....then of course, I become, in their eyes, an irritating person who talks too much and interrupts ....so frustrating !!!!

[@the1aquarius1]

It's not considered a conversation if they only want to talk about themselves. And you have to talk loud and interrupt just to get a word in. Then they pretend they didn't hear you. I've had enough of that!

[@ARS-fn6px]

Tell them no and have boundaries, they will go crazy.

[@annahrankho7634]

They murder your spirit,they murder you inside and gives you an inner wound forever.Run away!

[@kimberleyannedemong5621]

Amen to that

[@michaelbergeron1554]

They are already crazy

[@onelove7551]

They will also punish you

[@rustymullins6623]

Lord have mercy..I’m learning stuff I wish I would’ve learned 2 years ago…this girl has broken me..financially..spiritually…and physically

[@allisonnovak500]

Q: Why did the narcissist cross the road? A: They thought it was a boundary! 👉🏼Narcissists don’t respect boundaries👈🏼

[@sueznann8927]

😂

[@sparklypoet1454]

Allison Novak .... How many Narissists does it take to change a light bulb? None they all use gasslighting!!

[@sueznann8927]

@@sparklypoet1454 hahahaha

[@allisonnovak500]

@@sparklypoet1454 That’s a fantastic joke! I love it. 👍🏽

[@sparklypoet1454]

@@allisonnovak500 😁😁😁😁

[@corrieannfletcher5780]

With a Narc for 14 yrs. I remember bumping into a friend who said “how are you?” I honestly did not know what to say as my Narc wasn’t back from work so I didn’t know how I felt until he decided what kind of evening I was going to have. I went home and made a list of everything I needed to do in order to get out. Nearly 10 years out now it’s heaven

[@corrieannfletcher5780]

@@ArchangelAuriel-1968 I couldn’t tell you, haven’t thought about how he is doing in 10 beautiful years 🤣

[@poindexterrrrr]

@Corrieann Fletcher Excellent.

[@amwil4980]

Agreed I'm 17 years in 2 kids And I've had it

[@alexisgonzales2958]

Congratulations!! I completely understand the response you would give when people would ask how you are. I think I wore the irritation & anxiety on my face.

[@alexisgonzales2958]

​@@amwil4980 While you are deciding when & how, remember this: It's sort of like waiting too long for a joint replacement surgery because it's scary & inconvenient. You are right that it is, but afterward, you will wonder why you put it off because you feel amazingly better.

[@hjtres7261]

They think they're absolutely right. No flaws.

[@deborahhoffman7394]

They are everywhere. Stay calm. Create boundaries. Blow them off. Don't react.

[@paulcooper5748]

👌

[@kristenmarie9248]

👍❤😊

[@rockstarofredondo]

Exactly. Your reaction is their fuel for existence. Be stoic and inaccessible to them.

[@carolalexander1429]

Easy to decide to do. Hard to pull off, though. Especially if they are a close family member and they ‘know’ their power and our buttons. Their needs are important and everyone else’s needs are not necessary or acknowledged. Sigh. Actually, I’m rebellious where demonic influence is concerned. Jesus died for all of us, so there IS a way to pull them out. We just have to move out of the way, I’m guessing. We’re too weak. Is narcissism pride?

[@penelopelopez8296]

Don’t date them an definitely do not marry them. They have no worth to keep around.

[@Linward]

After graduation I got a job working for a narcissist. At the time, I had never heard of the term. I just thought it was odd that above her desk there was a shelf with no less than 5 framed photos of herself in various poses. But lets get to the boundary setting worst day there: I had been working my ass off for her and she was in the middle of telling me that I was incompetent. It was intense because I was feeling it. As hard as I tried to hold it back... a tear fell down my face. And at that very moment I saw the edges of her mouth lift up to a smile. It was demonic. She knew she had me, but I knew then I had to go. I excused myself, walked over to the next pc and typed up in one paragraph a two weeks notice. I handed it to her and we never spoke again. Happy ending: I found a job supervising a department twice the size, making twice the money (even more than she was making) and a state pension plan. Gaslight me b****. Looks like she was the one incompetent and I ain't crying no mo.

[@betterstill100]

Congratulations

[@RachelSemeson]

You’re profile pic on your channel is creepy 😖

[@djdoolittle1315]

@@RachelSemeson your the creep. Save it Narc

[@EastCoastGal66]

I love it ! You are a strong person. Good for you! I’ve done the same thing myself. We are nobody’s doormat!

[@RachelSemeson]

@@djdoolittle1315 have you not clicked on her channel?! The freaks are out tonight

[@hollypurcell5971]

Going on 17 years. It took me a very long time to realize that I was dealing with a narcissist. Started standing up for myself finally.

[@blossom6473]

I'm in the same boat it took my father's passing to realise 😢

[@molebohengkolisang3405]

I'm realizing that just this year after 12 good year 😢, and he feels so sad that I'm no longer giving in to his reckless treatment towards me

[@tenningale]

Same, took me a long time to connect the dots. With my covert narc mom, I knew she was moody, stubborn, gossipy, controlling, superficial (e.g., obsession with money and people's finances), and missing something upstairs by making sweeping assumptions and being a know-it-all. It wasn't until she manipulatively lied to my face and made hideous accusations that I realized that there's something very wrong with her. Now I completely Grey Rock so she can't weaponize any personal information.

[@anastaciaparker9956]

Good job

[@giveitback2me]

My sister’s husband is also a sociopathic narc. They’ve been married for almost 20 years. He’s completely turned my sister against her own parents and family. I am holding onto hope that one day she will see the truth and have the courage to stand up for herself and walk away.

[@AnnaLove-os7kj]

Holy crap, if Dr. Phil says don't waste your time with "THESE PEOPLE," better pay attention to him. Thanks and God bless you, Dr. Phil!

[@joannetier3044]

My ex Narc was 12 years old when he witnessed his 3 year old brother’s horrific death, that was 47 years ago and he never received support, his family never spoke about it. I suffered 18 years of craziness and abuse with this man and I always accepted his behaviour was because of his childhood trauma but it should not be an excuse to treat the people he should love so badly. When I woke up and finally left he was shocked, he put me and our son through a year of hell before we sold our house. He’s still causing hurt to people around him, destroying every relationship. If I stayed any longer he would of driven me insane, I saved myself.

[@ginahats8736]

Good for you!

[@tigeress3718]

Staying that long you were enabling with his behaviour......when you get stronger they get weaker.....you need to go NO CONTACT with that PARASITE.....

[@melbel1990]

I totally understand! I was married to a narcissist for 20 years! He was very abusive physically and mentally. Once he completely broke me and made me weak, he had complete control. I could not go to the bathroom by myself, i could not leave the house by myself. Ive been shot at, had my bones broken. The evil words that he would say. I raised 5 children with this man. All of them have phobias and have gone through hell. It has been 10 years since i divorced him. My children and i were left with PTSD and trauma. He would of killed me if i didn't have the strength to leave. The dear lord was by my side and gave me the strength!

[@prometheuspredator7971]

@@melbel1990, It sounds like you were married to a Malignant Narcissist. They are the worst as they are capeable of murder.

[@melianelson9036]

I can relate Joanne, I was married 33yrs to a man who I realized was the golden child in his Family, even in our teens when we met. His Mother seemed a pain in his ass, but we were teens so .....Anyway he went Military. 24 yrs. I loved him very much, but around his retirement time he started having problem with alcohol. If he wasn’t Malignant before, he certainly became that. I endured another 7 yrs, but divorced. He drud our divorce out for two yrs, and literally was absent from it. His Mother is whom I was divorcing. Shortly after it was final, he took part in a class action against the Catholic Church. Absolutely no one knew, not even his parents. But the creepiest part? He had allowed the same monster who had raped him as a child to baptize our 8yr old son.

[@MarielaStarr]

This is one of the most accurate descriptions of what a Narcissist is. I was married to one for 8 1/2 years. We had 5 children together. It was the most horrific, mentally and emotionally draining experience of my entire life. Unfortunately for me, we have 5 children together that love him very much. It has been a nightmare and a twilight zone. It wasn't until I started doing research in 2017 on his personality and behaviors that I came across this disorder that gave me light on everything I had been through with this individual the entire marriage. Through understanding, in 2018 I mustered enough courage to walk away 3 1/2 years ago and never looked back. Rest assure, he put up a fight. It took me a bit of a sacrifice, he took my children from me for 13 months while I lived in a womans shelter for 1 year and he spread rumors to everyone we knew of how I abandoned my children. But with the support of therapists, case managers and attorneys, i was able to make it through that devastating time in my life. I was reunited with my children in 2019 and realized, had I not made this painful sacrifice, I would have stayed depending on him the way he wanted me to. Best decision I ever made in my entire life. I will say, Co parenting with these individuals is almost impossible. Be prepared to go through some ups and downs and the children will face a lot of disappointment. ** One key of advice** Master the behavior of NOT reacting. This will help beyond measure in dealing with them if you are like myself who is forced to deal with them due to a family dynamic. Sorry for being a little long winded, I may be a little bit of hope for someone who is contemplating an escape from a Narcissistic partner.

[@kb1759]

God Bless you FreeSpirit! Same!

[@richardwalker1405]

Thank you! You are so right. Go no contact when possible, set boundaries, and don’t react. Keep working on you. BTW, God bless you! You are awesome!

[@ChildrenofthelivingGod]

Congratulations Queen! Keep growing!

[@hazztv6317]

You should write a book or make videos.

[@MarielaStarr]

@@ChildrenofthelivingGod Thank you so much, I appreciate that.

[@MA-lb8dq]

The scary part is that narcissists refuse to get help. This illness has destroyed families and even countries.

[@elainehoward9577]

@@killadjango6995 I’m my narc uses Jesus. He is right because he tells my daughter she has to follow what Jesus says about marriage. Of course he is not a Christian but no one will say anything. 🐒

[@elainehoward9577]

Help🐒

[@bodyandmindhealing24-76]

Yes, this illness has put my family apart and the more we deal with her the worse it get.

[@martyvirtue4051]

You mean like, Canada, US, Brazil, UK, France, the Netherlands, Germany... etc?

[@monnieholmes7113]

I'm going through this right now. I'm the target, always. Don't engage is my answer.

[@Laineycares]

The information that Your series on Narcissism has changed my life. My son recently tore into me( again) with caustic , hurtful, crushing accusations that had put me in the bed. I am 83. I've lost my identity, self esteem, confidence and purpose as a mother. Trying to stop wishing that he's going to change, and to let go of him to save my own sanity, is a monumental task. His poison is literally affecting my whole family. If it wasn't for my walk with the Lord, I would stop wanting to go on at all. This letting go is like a funeral. I am devastated. He has not ability to love anyone in the true sense of love. His father is exactly like this. All of this is totally life altering. Thank you Dr. Phil for your coveted information. It shows me how to take the blame off from me and put it where it belongs. I pray fervently for him daily. God CAN change hearts if the person is willing.

[@sarojashepherdson-t1k]

I am in this exact same position. He is the only child. Father whom I divorced is a narcissist too. I feel by cutting him off I am abandoning him but he is cruel and disrespect to me. I feel for you.

[@lisabrown6280]

I was with a narcissist boyfriend for a few years. You can never fix them. Let them go. Don't let them come back.

[@barbaraannhenderson9049]

You can not fix them demons.

[@lisabrown6280]

@@barbaraannhenderson9049 so true. they don't want to be fixed.

[@beccareynolds4625]

Exactly that. Walk away and don’t look back. You will never get back what you hoped was once real. Leave and live.

[@kathyschwartz6009]

Lord are you lucky it was a boyfriend and not a husband. Just leave they never will change, you are right.

[@leoniea138]

That is very true . They can not handle the person who is at peace with himself or spiritually connected but they will hurt you wherever they see an opportunity especially in the workplace

[@cm1663]

You are so right, my boss punished me for nothing other than talking to a staff member but he can talk to him not me.

[@theresagardner7547]

Dr Phil THIS was an excellent video...I've been reading about them for YEARS...it was great listening to you...I delt with a covert narcissist...not an easy one to detect...but the light FINALLY went on thank you 😀

[@theresagardner7547]

The sad part about it..is that it was a FIVE year off and on process..

[@chrysalis72]

Hence no contact.

[@alexbaird2670]

I've experienced workplace narc abuse repeatedly, not to mention familial narc abuse.

[@debfletcherwins6488]

Exactly! The narcissist love to stamp out your happiness! If you're feeling good about yourself, they will try to destroy your sense of self-worth.These people are destructive! Stay away from them!!

[@kellilord3256]

Omg yes! I can feel so happy and in my own power and self! I don’t need ego boosts from anyone! Then, a narc comes along and tries to shame and belittle me and snuff my light out😂 epic fail😂😂 I don’t even care! I see u lol

[@klb6453]

What if you have to work with a coworker who is one???

[@pingechelon9389]

They are cowards. They will draw you into an argument and then try to provoke your anger, gaslight, etc and then claim they are the victim. Once you see it play out a few times their pattern emerges.

[@HK-pp9ig]

yes... but staying away from them is not always possible...

[@jud____eerobinson4595]

Absolutely..my mum fitted that glove....stamp out my happiness...even to the nth on my wedding day...she didnt win that one though!

[@janjbowman]

I walked away from one of them . I haven’t had any contact with them in seven years . This person still keeps trying to contact but I ignore them . This person came close to destroying my life . This person has had every family member and every relative cut them off . They did this to themselves .

[@spinnettdesigns]

I’m on the other end, my family of malignant and covert narcissistic people and also in the extended family, and their flying monkeys, have all cut me off. I’ve always been the scapegoat but I learned and they didn’t want to. The worst part is, they KNOW it and hate themselves for it. The irony is that they all like and admire me (SO sick!) Their fantasy is that, as Dr Phil said, they make their own reality by convincing themselves that the problem is outside of them…It’s been horrifically difficult (pretty much no contact) but I can attest that my life has calmed way down and though it’s still destabilizing from time to time, I have peace. I got to stand up to “one” last weekend. In short, they smiled and said “I said I was sorry…do we have peace now?” (In front of everyone) (and the beginning of the usual gaslighting) and I said firmly what I felt and he said “wellllll….” And I said “No, it was rude and disrespectful and I expect someone to ask me a question rather than making an assumption…” there was more, but I said this all kindly and from self respect. This was for me, not for them. Later, he kept smiling and waving from a distance and I didn’t acknowledge it at all (for my own boundaries and not to “punish” him) and it felt so good. I’m out of the way of the stampede👌 “These folks don’t have a to-do list” If anyone says that “I used to be one…” I hesitate to ever believe them. They are so insecure and therefore terrified to get well since their lies and insecurity will be exposed. Too bad for them that they won’t ever get better until they ever begin to reflect on what needs to change in their heart and mind. I continue to live an authentic life and find joy every day. Doing Somatic Experiencing,(Dr Peter Levine) tapping, (Brad Yates, The Ortner’s) Block Therapy (Deanna Hansen) and other things, helps to keep my body much more stable. I like this article for parents, so that they can help to form their young ones away from narcissism: www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/awake-no6-2017-december/teaching-children-humility/

[@tammyfetter8812]

I’m ready to leave my narc, and he says to me tonight. “Please give me one more chance. I don’t see a problem with me or my behaviour. But I’ll change for you. If that’s what you want. I’ll change for you.” REALLY??? Of course he doesn’t see a problem with himself. I told him that’s completely illogical. You don’t think that you have a problem, but you’re willing to change for me? That doesn’t even make sense! And I’m not falling for that crap ever again. He’s emotionally and verbally abusive, and a chronic gaslighter. I’m so done with this crap. I deserve better. Thanks for your insight Dr. Phil. 🙏

[@petermarshall9708]

Tammy they don't change.. for yr own sake and sanity run for the hills go no contact

[@tammyfetter8812]

@@petermarshall9708 Thank you Peter. You’re so right! I realize that now. It’s all just a sick and twisted game to them. I don’t understand their demented way of thinking, and I hope I never do. Take good care! 🙏

[@nftbandit9645]

I’m so sorry that he has such a lack of insight. The fact that he’s even saying that he will change even though he sees no problem with his current behavior means he will literally not change. My mother is a narcissist and I spent 23 years living in her house being manipulated by her, being gaslit by her etc. You need to do what’s best for you! These people don’t change.

[@tammyfetter8812]

@@nftbandit9645 I’m sorry that you had to go through that as well with your mother. It’s heartbreaking and exhausting to be continuously caught in this cycle of push and pull with them. Please take good care. 🙏

[@raccuia1]

Yes, they never change. You are probably aware of all the YT videos on narcissism (including H.G. Tudor - pseudonym) which show the evil the narcissist is. Great to see yet another survivor of narcissistic abuse going no contact.

[@ericlondon2663]

Ignoring them seems to drive them up the wall. It's hilarious.

[@Kcourt1996]

THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️Dealing with this currently…it backfires because ignoring them isn’t what they want…they want the battle that they came looking for!!! 🤬🤬🤬

[@yorkiem0m]

ya, I refused to answer and my tv went flying

[@clydebarrow2.023]

Lol this guy is dealing with a level 1 narc. If you ignore a real narcissist you're going out the window..

[@laurivaltter]

​@@clydebarrow2.023mine stopped talking with her 35 boyfriends and about 20 of them + the girl tries to get me back with her or something (?) exhausting as hell

[@margadam6358]

That's when they bait you into a response

[@piobmhor8529]

My father-in-law was a textbook narcissist. My mother-in-law on the other hand was an angel who put up with him for most of her adult life. He passed away twenty years ago now, and we watched my mother-in-law come out of her shell and start living her life once again. He was constantly putting her down, and keeping her down. How she stayed with him all those years is beyond me. The damage these people do to others is one of the saddest things I have witnessed. I’m just glad that my mother-in-law had a few decades in her twilight years free from him; I know it sounds heartless and cruel to say that, but it’s true.

[@thisjourneycalledlife4417]

Not at all, he was a monster who stole all that time from that she can never get back, happy for her!

[@Coleman77]

Truth is what it is. Share this truth.

[@shabreidavis7790]

Doesn't sound heartless and cruel to me!!.... Good for her!! 👍

[@Stormy1984]

I really hope my dear mother has a few good years without my dad. Same situation you're describing is my real parents to a T. 51 years of abuse my mother's endured and I swear I don't understand how God could allow such an evil man to exist this long just to torture her and lead a double life free of consequences... Really rattles my faith, honestly...She is so meek, gentle and mild after all the abuse still and now says she's just too old to leave....just once I wanna see that man suffer the way he's made everyone else suffer (especially her).

[@shabreidavis7790]

@@Stormy1984 woooooow!! ☹️

[@dhd-00]

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,

[@sarahwallace4116]

Thank you! I was married to a narcissist for 20 years. I felt about a half inch tall when he left for another woman. I had a mission that saved me. I had my two sons to raise. I did that, and I fought to get myself back. Now, 25+ years later, I have recovered my 'self' and he is still blaming me for everything. I find that notion amusing. My being happy just eats him alive. And I couldn't care less.

[@shelleyg218]

Sarahwallace me too! 24 yrs married to one and 2 sons. It wasn’t until a year after we separated that I realized (from stumbling upon info on the internet) that he was a narcissist (I didn’t know what narcissism was before). Since then I’ve educated myself and it sure helps in the healing process. Wishing you and your sons the best 🙏

[@MrDogonjon]

Happiness is the best revenge... it makes narcissists crazy. Never think of them except to appreciate the blessing of not having them in your life.

[@lienbijs1205]

The extremely narcissistic ex husband of a friend of mine has a new girlfriend since 4 years. She seems happy with him. Just wonder how long it took you to see the first signs? Was your husband also very sweet and caring the first years?

[@sonialopez4645]

Luv this story

[@BonitaHighley-el4ed]

22years

[@sage9836]

Great quote on changing a narc: "It's above your pay grade." When the narc would pity trip me by proxy to get me to save them from themselves, I said "That's a job for Jesus."

[@alexisgonzales2958]

Borrowing

[@natliekla]

😂 😂 😂 😂 Thank you for putting a smile on my face with that last line 🙌

[@ennasusthomas4598]

Oh my god… I am stealing for this. My narc will be back around and I am done. I have never felt more free, but he always comes back. I am staying strong and this will be my phrase!

[@TeresaO82]

I just said that today. But here I am feeling guilty for not helping. 😔

[@Butterfly_486]

@@TeresaO82 You are way more worth than a being punching bag.. You are a beautiful, loving human being that deserves the same love that you give to others. The only way to make the narc feel better about himself is to let him beat you down. And it will never be enough.. Give yourself the love and the boundaries you deserve! Don't give your life trying to save people who can't be saved. Your life is too valuable. It's not easy, but you are not alone. Stay strong and be true to yourself ❤️

[@mikefragomeni8908]

Thanks Dr. Phil, I was dating a narcissist and didn’t even know it until it was too late. I took the bait, I delt with the gaslighting, I experienced how it was all my fault, I experienced how they were never wrong and it was all me, I let this person put me down to feel better about themselves. After watching this video it was a real eye opener. I’m out of the relationship now and healing from the damage. Thank you.

[@lindawilliams8075]

I hear you. I was married to my narcissist and dealt with all the gaslighting, thought it was my fault for everything. I was so miserable for 6 years. Thank you Dr Phil, this helped me understand what was going on. I left him because I was on the verge of hurting myself.

[@MrNikhilgherwar]

Get out!!

[@lolawilliams9977]

Me too!!!! It’s been a year and I’m still working on me.

[@frankculaga5169]

Yeah gold diggers are narcissists.

[@bkasmr6996]

I am dealing with this right now… it’s awful

[@MissMonotheist]

When a narcissist abuses alcohol it becomes even more volatile. You will be berated and walk on eggshells. You have to get away and cut all contact. I developed intense anxiety after my experience. I began to question my every action bc I was so afraid I would upset people. Took me 2 years to recover from that constant state of fear and stress. I still get a stomach ache when I think of the person and I moved to a different city.

[@joannajohnson696]

You are right, I can't change my husband who is a narcissist. After 10 years, I agree, it is above my paygrade. The psycho dynamics are so complicated that I have concluded the only way to set boundries with the narcissist is to leave. He can't love bcs he thinks people are tools to give him what he wants in life "to be used." It is a psychopathic mantra. You are right, he has been tearing me down in an artisan way. Publicly he shows the opposite persona. Behind closed doors he tramples all over my personal morals. I have made the decision to leave for self preservation.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Leaving him and going N🚫 CONTACT is a super power💥 to freedom and peace.

[@MandyAliens]

You deserve happiness

[@surayalalloo8667]

Congratulations- you are brave. All the best 💕

[@walinga70]

I could have told your story, I lived it as well. My simple version is also in the comments. Sending you strength, determination, finding yourself after so many yrs is a whole new chapter. One day at a time and don't be afraid. Soon you will start to feel AMAZING ! 💪🤍

[@cyberninjasworld]

You can do this :)

[@Leo-fk9ch]

After 11 years with a narcissist I’m just now learning and understanding her dysfunction. I got out, took the damage and rolled with it. I can’t tell you how many times over 11 years I thought I was going mad, losing my memory and questioning myself. Thanks Dr Phil for your lecture.

[@iwriteforme78]

Leaving saved your life! Never look back!

[@kevinowens6010]

A Narc is capable of doing anything. Congratulations you bailed.

[@stevec3892]

Been married four months and she’s the worst . From love bombing to discard .

[@munterboy9298]

Did you have any children?

[@ronfox5519]

Yup. The memory tricks are maddening. Totally distorted my sense of reality.

[@clinttorres2508]

I've had 3 relationships with narcissists, one my 2nd wife.. its a terrible experience, worst of it is that these people do a very good job of hiding who they really are, hiding their narcissistic traits until you're deep in the relationship.. the abuse is real

[@alexisgonzales2958]

Absolutely! And they have conned everyone outside of your home into thinking they hung the moon.... It makes the smear campaign that much more cringy.

[@penelopelopez8296]

@Clint….you should have been able to see the red flags since you have the prior experience with one. It’s know they can hide their true self but that’s why you must give a relationship time before you invest your life. I know they can hide it but they can only hide it for so long. You should try doing the opposite of what you’ve done in the past when starting a relationship. Be like George Costanza……do the opposite of what you have always done when choosing a partner. Or do what I do…..stay single and just date. If you’re lonely at home….get a dog or cat. They’ll love you more and will never gaslight you. I promise you that.

[@carolynsirianni1251]

My own Mother ruined my life& hurt my heart over& over. I’m healing now, 60 years later. ( No info in the 70’s) We were screwed. I thank God for letting me find out the truth, he was surely& still watching over me, as I cried and isolated for years. Still do. I trust practically no one. My dogs I trust. ✌️

[@CrimsonRaven51]

This was the absolute best explanation of narcissistic personality I’ve heard yet. Best lesson learned. You can’t change a Narcissist and don’t take the “gas lighting “ bait. There is nothing wrong with you.

[@archnaverma9105]

"There's nothing wrong with you" should be the first step towards freedom from a narcissist....

[@Everydayheros]

There is Nothing wrong with you

[@sammicopor]

That's very true. A narcissist hates even God who is the pure expression of love.

[@SeansModelBuilds]

I loved telling the psychiatrists everything the narcissists said and did. Fascinating insights.

[@bondjane007]

@@sammicopor Well I have to disagree with this because one of the narcissist I know a fact two of them one I know is a fairly Jewish and believes his religion and the other one is a Christian and he believes in God and froze Christianity crap at me all the time so they believe in religion and God and Jesus and all that nonsense. They use it as ammunition against you.

[@laurioakes9249]

Being in a relationship with a narcissist has forever changed my life.

[@foreveryoung999]

Leave.

[@sashahazenberg4107]

A negative life or a positive life? Love wins every time. Love for yourself and who you are, you are strong enough to live, to be alive in this moment. Only you can change your perception of what your reality is.

[@WHaAteVaA]

the faster you leave the faster you'd change this "forever" to "heal"

[@FEARISLIAR]

Yes it Mosr certainly does…the narcissist is actually here to teach us about us. It’s much deeper than this however, understand YOU CAN HEAL, you can become a Warrior and I so hope your heart today is not in pain❤️

[@WHaAteVaA]

@@FEARISLIAR444 just sensed the blessed Warrior in your reply , May god bless you and always keep you happy

[@thegodblogger3812]

When I told the narc I was dealing with she had crossed a boundary, without a hint of irony she replied, "You mean, we have boundaries?" When I replied in the affirmative, she continued, "But there shouldn't be boundaries." That's when I pulled the plug on the relationship, and I don't think I've ever had this much peace in my 60 year old life.

[@skoolie_life3261]

Mine said the exact same thing.

[@jessicaprah8886]

Mine has said that to me too!!

[@johnsonjohnson4725]

I need to hear this often. Deaths of loved ones and health issues can weaken us so we don’t have the stamina to deal with narcissistic people.

[@rc9272]

Don't take them seriously. Tell them "I don't care what you think"; it worked for me with my sister. Then I never talked to her again, and life's been great. A narcissist's power lies in the fact that you put value in what they say.

[@tanyabartley2010]

EXACTLY

[@djdoolittle1315]

Well said

[@annmuse5718]

Excellent advice.

[@batamie2379]

Absolutely

[@CWdudeyo]

100%!!!

[@andreanicole8487]

Don’t deal with narcissist …… run for your life! Love yourself and respect yourself more.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Run is right. Implementing a N🚫 CONTACT method is using good logic and self-respect.

[@haliec4713]

I didn’t know about narcissism until I left one, I was mentally, physically and emotionally abused. It has taken me 2 years to get back to myself. The most hurtful thing is that everyone knew he was except me but they protected him. It was extremely upsetting not to have any support. I believed I was the unstable one. If they protect him then it must be me. So grateful today for finding the strength to leave.

[@dvegule920]

feeling exactly the same right now. thank you for sharing.

[@mombasham]

Thank God you're out . Keep your chin up. It gets better.

[@killadjango6995]

stay strong and become stronger!💪🏾💪🏾💜

[@c.wilson6723]

After 21 years together, I was finally “fired” by my husband with a written termination read to me in front of his witness. I had been ‘saved’ by my BFF taking me to a spa retreat because she saw that my physical and mental health were declining. After a full physical, blood work, and doctor’s assessment … I returned home to my firing. Narcissist husband could not take that he had seemingly lost control of me. My saving grace was that at this retreat, I had learned how to meditate, did deep breathing exercises and had these in place for the 3.5 year court battle ahead. It took me at least 3 more years after court to reclaim myself spiritually but, I DID. My freedom now is fantastic. I learned a lot about narcissism and gaslighting = found a terrific informative therapist. Now, reclaiming my artistic career. ✅

[@sammicopor]

I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way but now you know how manipulative they can attempt being. Those other people who believed & protected him are mindless shills that would likely sell their own mothers for a penny. Just be glad that you are free of that wacko. Learn from this experience because when we all pass on, the only one there for us is God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit & the angels of The Holy Father.

[@TheMsjagfan]

My GOODNESS my sister is one and I knew she was not a nice person and it took me 57 years to learn how not to talk about me or my family. I had to learn to protect my family with a shield. My sister is an extreme case. I can give you so many examples, but I know you have heard you fill. This was needed to be heard from me ten times over. I appreciate your help and your support with the delivery of this topic.

[@loriann7117]

I’d love to hear some of the examples! 😆 my cousin just might be a similarly extreme case

[@akm038]

The best way to deal with a Narcissist is to NOT deal with them. Run away as fast as you can. I grew up with a sociopathic Narcissist, so I'm speaking from experience. The minute I got away from him, the freer I feel and happier I am.

[@saintfreezy6914]

NO. DEAL. with it like a MAN.

[@UncleJunior1999]

​@@saintfreezy6914 hah that sounds kinda like my neighbor lol

[@just.j5302]

A "sociopathic narcissist' is a Psychopath. It's a spectrum...all psychopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths.

[@jamaf4114]

First Christmas away from my narc in-laws and ex-husband....I didn't have to be the family punching bag for the first time in years. The holiday didn't put me into a state of panic or extreme anxiety. I didn't have to explain myself, watch adults tantrum, or walk on eggshells. Its been a long time coming, but this year I finally said NO! 🙏🏼

[@krisquigley4497]

Yes!!!

[@thisjourneycalledlife4417]

Good for you my fellow narc survive!

[@cleo6797]

I feel you. I did the same 😊 best christmas ever

[@guadalupe3331]

Omg! I have been with a narc 1 & 1/2 years . I want to leave but our names are on the lease together. I am TIRED of ruined holidays

[@nikkidodd2305]

Good for you!!

[@garycordle5295]

There's people in this world you just can't fix and the narcissist is one of them, once you know you go you get out and you stay out 🙏

[@autumnbarfield2178]

I was married to a narcissist for 14 years! He utterly and completely destroyed my life and robbed me of all my peace and happiness. We also have a child together! But thank god its over now and im trying to get full custody of my daughter!!! So he can be 100 percent out of our lives for good!

[@gas8823]

Mine too :( complete destruction.

[@soundsgood12]

Good for you I also understand. I do understand NPD. Dr Phil's right that he's not going to heal a person with NPD it’s over his head and he will run as fast as he can. However he spoke with Trump and tried to convince Trump to not seek revenge (a strong NPD trait) and concluded he thinks he may have moved Trump a tiny bit to reconsider taking revenge. Dr Phil understands Trump needs healing needs to reverse the destructive path he's been on, has anyone been watching how Trump is just not capable of reversing, that's NPD!?

[@agneshouessou9765]

*G

[@kat71580]

50 year marriage, im still trying to leave..door is almost open..

[@agneshouessou9765]

​@@kat71580😢Why bother? Hand it all to Jesus for your sanctification and his.✝️

[@alanpryor9118]

I read a FB post years ago that said you know you’re in a relationship with a narcissist when it starts out and you can’t do anything wrong but by the end you can’t do anything right and they walk away with all your stuff. I was amazed at how perfectly that described my 30 year marriage.

[@saltycat662]

I'm always amazed at people who have such long marriages with a narcissist. How did you survive that for so long? I started lashing out at my narc in laws within a few years and I haven't spoken to them in over ten yrs. I couldn't deal with it. My narc brother in law has been with his wife for 23 yrs and I am in amazment over what she tolerates from him. He can do anything and she will allow it and even lie for him. It's very bizarre to witness.

[@garrykennedy5484]

Same thing happened to me but in only 3 months. I lost EVERYTHING!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!! Learned a LOT from that one.

[@damonhajduch1727]

I am going through this now after 32 years and I was always wrong. It got really bad when I started pushing back. She filed for divorce and thinks everything in the house is hers now. I can't even say hello now without it being a problem. Unfortunately we are stuck in the same house until it sells since we have no money

[@inbetweenmeetings]

Perfect description. People always say “it could never be me” but you don’t know it’s you until it is. Abusers aren’t abusive all the time and especially not in the beginning. I was in a state of despair bc of his narcissistic abuse and especially when he would cheat on me and go to another woman until I realized….he will do her the same way and then I realized HE was the problem and not the other women. I feel bad for them but you can’t tell them what kind of monster they are talking to bc they come across as the ideal and perfect person in the beginning 😢

[@bobbysilver272]

Sweet Jesus. This is happening to me right now. For over 30 years she was the love of my life. I thought she felt the same. In 4 months she changed before my eyes, met a new guy and is destroying me. I have been in love with my own creation of her. I have woken up and now see that more many years she has been loveless and has constantly belittled me, criticised me and blamed me for everything. Now she is trying to crush my soul. Our children even see this. I was heartbroken for months trying to save our marriage. Now I see that I have my head in a monsters jaws and I am trying to stop them clamping shut.

[@jlz3599]

My mother was a narcissist. I was raised with an abundance of criticism and very little, if any, nurturing. We were life long enemies right through to the end. Listening to this video has made me realize that most of my failed relationships through my life, were also with narcissists. Kind of explains a lot. Thanks Dr. Phil.

[@andrewsmith3257]

This is exactly what happened to me but I was male

[@93Jubilee]

I've wondered if my own mother was a narcissist, but if she was, she also could conceal it with sweetness. Interesting combinbination of toxiicity.

[@jlz3599]

@@andrewsmith3257 You have my sympathy. Not a great way to live. ones life.

[@jlz3599]

@@93Jubilee OH well, my mother could put on the sweetness too. I witnessed that many, many, many times throughout my life. Never with me though because I think she knew that I could see through her. In mother dearest's defense though, she did'nt have a great child hood either so......

[@katiehunt3083]

Because we keep meeting our mother over and over and over and over. Mine is too.

[@silentcyn2023]

Who's watching this in April 2024? Congratulations to Dr. Phil on the beginning of the new channel Merit Street Media. God bless all

[@SquishyGrayMatter]

God bless you too

[@Ama_Goi]

I'm watching it

[@Mohan27041968]

Me...😂

[@veronicakiwanuka247]

Me

[@knowinglyapproved]

me

[@longsnapper5381]

Phil hits the nail on the head. They don't think that they have a problem. The rest of the world is the problem. My dad was the poster boy. Very tough when it's your parent.....

[@KristinAndre1717]

This is my mom and ex husband Ugh

[@longsnapper5381]

@@KristinAndre1717 I'd love to know how they get this way. My dad's brother, my uncle, wasn't a narcissist. Neither was his sister....

[@ritakatona4299]

I have been the brunt of a narcissist all my life. I didn’t realize this until I looked up what a narcissist does and thinks. When I met with them recently I was ready for the gaslighting . I recognized every ploy that was being used on me. They tried everything from screaming in my face to crying about how they have lost me as the person they once knew. It was very upsetting but I stood my ground and didn’t let them affect me. Boy was that an eye opener! Their reaction was like that of a 9 year old who couldn’t get their way. I left but the old me had to fight off the urge to apologize for not being who they wanted me to be . I now know that their anger was not of losing me but losing a life long punching bag.

[@amrita4500]

The problem is when they turn other people against you, people you actually care about.

[@mohddalibinzali1165]

Your words is very very true100%. I through this so much in my whole life for 42years. Until i damage enough. I wish i can escape from it😭😭

[@jeanetteatkins7660]

🙏🏽❤️

[@sandragill9916]

My Dad , my brother is isolating him

[@karenwillis6680]

Remember, if a person minds, then they don’t matter. If they matter, then they won’t mind.

[@louisepalm4792]

I lost a 28 year friendship because of my ex.

[@NeeCee1966]

Living with a narcissist is miserable. They will not allow you to be you. You can’t be yourself because they never want you to be better than them. They demean you. I’ve been in this type of relationship for 38 years and I’m doing my best to get out. I am disabled and have limited funds. If I had the money I would be gone today!!! I am working on it! I am so beat down. If you are in this type of relationship……get out. I used to be so happy go lucky and now I do good to get out of bed and face the day. I want to be me again but it’s going to take some time. I want happiness back in my life. Please hear Dr. Phil these type of people will NEVER change! I am living proof!

[@yuliaimmajati]

I am sending all my best wishes for you to gain back your happiness...being able to have a perspective is the strongest foundation that none can steal and stop you from building back the "me" in you. Keep up the faith Denise and stay strong...

[@NeeCee1966]

@@yuliaimmajati thank you! I really appreciate your kind words!

[@kristinkbcr]

You realize the narcissist has made sure that you’re in a position to not have enough money to leave them that is absolutely by design. Figure something out, drive Uber behind their back and earn the money to leave

[@melissasoto2785]

I understand completely what you are going through i got on of one two months i cut him off

[@ericaboisvert]

Stay strong and message me if you ever need support. 💛

[@denisehelton7488]

I finally, after 10 years of marriage had to walk away, and get a divorce. You absolutely cannot change a narcissist. Now I need counseling because of everything he put me through mentally. I am so much better off now, and I do know that my life will get better!

[@flippgoofman1868]

Absolutely nailed it Dr. Phil. Narcissists can never be wrong. There is no sense in arguing with them because the thing they did which was morally wrong becomes your fault. The only way I found is to disengage. They see nothing wrong in what they do, & arguing with them only makes them more adamant that you're wrong and they're right.

[@killadjango6995]

bingo!💯💯🎯

[@dontpanic15]

and they just continue to gas light further and spiral spit falsehoods til your head explodes

[@ninjanogood505]

​@@dontpanic15 you said it !

[@veronikawilliams3530]

How do you disengage? ( I need some tips lol )

[@maralfniqle5092]

​@@veronikawilliams3530walk away, nothing else works. Find a good knowledgeable therapist who knows about this condition and get support.

[@elainelee8374]

So spot on! You have to remember HALF of what you SEE,and nothing of what you HEAR. A narcissist will lie when the truth would serve them better.

[@breezeh1127]

No truer words "a narcissist will lie when the truth would serve them better"

[@panthera50]

@@breezeh1127 Ⓐ 👊👍

[@amidstheroses]

they love to demean and slander their victims!

[@kiraharlamor391]

I’ve had to deal with these types at work and I quit my job and removed myself from all of them and it was the best day of my life! Amen!

[@wisdomdantecourt8179]

Good for you! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

[@sunnydays2178]

Good for you…I’ve been in the same situation and I should have left a lot sooner than I did. It just starts affecting your health….

[@qazplmm632]

After my relationship with a narcissist ended I finally started feeling like I’m my own person. Before it felt like the whole purpose of my life is to be with him and I have nothing in life other than that. Going through this breakup was the toughest moment in my life but once I’ve gotten over it I’ve reached a level of happiness I never though was possible for me

[@jenniferharrell77]

I am so glad this topic is being talked about in the mainstream now. Education about this subject is a must. I am going through a divorce with a covert narcissist who turned everyone against me, including my own family and children. It has been the worst nightmare I’ve ever been through yet not one person ever came to me to get my side of the story. Not one. They all just believed him because they are such master manipulators. So convincing. They portray themselves as the victim. They lie, twist, scheme, it is a sick game they play to destroy you when you escape them because they don’t want to look bad and let you blow their cover. I didn’t chase anyone. I let them all go. At least I have freedom from the hell he put me through every day and peace with God. He sustains me and gives me strength, hope, peace and joy, despite what he’s done to me. I know it will come back on him eventually. We reap what we sow. Always.

[@aishab282]

I hope you find peace ❤

[@goku-pops7918]

That the other thing about narcissism italso showsyou how disappointing most people are. How they sidewiththe narcissist so often

[@jenniferharrell77]

@@goku-pops7918 exactly. It only proves they were never a true friend or family to begin with. Sometimes trials like this only expose people’s hearts, and that’s a good thing. You learn who the true and fake people are. ❤️

[@jenniferharrell77]

@@aishab282 yes, I found peace in Christ alone. ❤️🙏🏻

[@carmenmartinez2359]

I'm also with a covert narcissist he tried doing the same thing with my family and my kids but thank God I finally spoke about the abuse and a lot of people are aware of his sick and twisted self

[@illssolution5720]

1. They are RELENTLESS! 2. They are NEVER WRONG (hence the spinning out when they are accused of being wrong!) Which leads to 3. They INTEND to dominate/control/annhilate your esteem/cause FEAR because THEN YOU WILL do what they want, when they want, as they want....and they don't FEEL there's anything wrong with doing that to you. YOU DON'T MATTER! What you do FOR THEM DOES....

[@rama7000]

This is one of the best I have read. Thanks you for penning these words.

[@misslovedee1688]

Right on point

[@dianaaiello588]

Tell them !! Bye Felicia !!!

[@pollynunnally5863]

I never would conform. My soul couldn't allow it..I grew up in one and married into one..to this day, the effects of the abuse has changed my brain...what's joy, what's normal, who am I, why me, and then blamed for all they said and did to me. I'm a HSP and empath and I was never mirrored or ever asked how I was ever..no self esteem, but educated. Ruined me...I have few friends because Idk how to feel or communicate in a confident normal manner. Idk my emotions..they definitely have no compassion. They dont care about your health or happiness. It's all about you giving up who you are, to satisfy their wants and needs...that stops intimacy and then you get accused of being unfaithful when you cant give yourself to them. His mother behaved like an elite...criticizing me from the get go and said he criticizes you because you dont make him happy..I never felt so lost and confused..I was beaten down, accused of embarrassing their family.. 25 years...he never was sweet..his behavior was abusive but I didnt understand why...

[@hollyp9811]

I’ve been divorcing my narc for three years, forced to live abandoned in a foreign country, while he turns my older children all against me. The court just ruled that I can leave with my younger children, but he’s told my older children he will try and stop me. They are relentless and horrible people, and the judges don’t understand this. I was told to let the past be the past and get along. The judge ignored all the current offenses and the fact that there is no getting along with a narc. They will always try to control you and make you pay.

[@mandymarshall9220]

How I see it Dr Phil, if you can't fix a narcissist, no one can! The only way to deal with a narcissist is to walk away......the only way to keep your sanity with a narcissist is, to walk away......I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH, IF YOU GET ONE RED FLAG OF NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR, PLEASE WALK AWAY! Sending hugs to anyone that's suffered at the hands of a narcissist. ❤

[@Dani-ie9tj]

Yes so True!! And they Will take your kids from you . And when you report them to The Police they Will tell The kids And force The kids to talk bad about you , of Course The kids is not to blame this pyko is to blame They are so manupulating And so bad People, they Will get what they deserve Karma Will hunting them , that i' m sure of . Love and Light for our kids And for everyone Who get with this psyko my God help you out from them ❤

[@lilydauber3147]

Only God can change when the hard-hearted narcissist repents!

[@coolblondii]

Can't always leave, when you have young babies. You're stuck 😔

[@ninjanogood505]

I have a place already set to go . I just don't want to leave my son . He's 4 months now . I'm literally Cinderella around the home . I been trying to be supportive and let her recover from child birth . I feel like she just gonna take advantage til I get triggered. It's annoying as hell . I been toughing it out for my son .

[@gods_warrior_princessquinn3729]

Even when you walk away - there are threats, character assignation, exclude you from things you both happen to be involved in ? Leave that which is your passion that is you?? Have threats, etc! What then??

[@christinebachor6663]

my three siblings and my mother were severe narcissist! The reason why I did not become one is because at 17 I moved to Philadelphia to attend pharmacy school and never went back. All three of my siblings were sucked into the family teat! I am the exact opposite of my entire family. You would not believe what I have endure my life through BS from these people. My sister told me quite plainly that she was better than me and that she was better than our cousins that were around the table! she’s better than me! She has been planted since 1999. She told me she was an expert on everything! Her husband and I went to the same pharmacy school in Philadelphia. She told people she was a pharmacist. And I said to her, ‘ did you gain education and a degree by osmosis?’ her response was simple, what is osmosis! Point earned

[@jaygauld85]

Being a narcissist should be against the law! They damage people so badly it should be on the same level as attempted murder! My ex narc got me to the point of attempting suicide.

[@ejwis1]

I agree

[@michelecarlson6262]

I am really glad you didn’t!!

[@ihaveautism666]

Lmao

[@griseldaarzola8720]

I totally agree with you because they suck the life out of people and pretend to be normal human beings, they need to be locked up and put away in their own narcissistic planet!

[@anitaknight3915]

So true!!! Narcissists and sociopaths do unspeakable damage!!! We should be able to sue them for pain and suffering as well as damages.

[@blessed7927]

“You’re too sensitive” is the quintessential line- when they insult you, attack you, argue unfairly (because that’s the only way they discuss differences). Never confide in them and have FIRM BOUNDARIES or NO CONTACT. Do not seek validation from them even if a family member. God can validate you or a healthy friend pastor counselor. I liked this episode - thanks Dr. Phil Don’t forget that they switch on and off. Nice lasts as long as your morning coffee. They can be nice to your face and they will be smearing you behind your back. And folks- they feel no remorse. That emotion isn’t there. Its like getting mad at a shoelace- pointless and only affects YOU. Run… don’t walk…

[@RachelTScott]

Both my Mother abd Sister. 59 yrs old and learning. Scared of them. Alone.

[@katheryngaskin6411]

Thanks for all texts,this confirms what I've seen,went thru.My boyfriend of 6 yrs just made plans moved out ,not know Lie after lie.Used of excuse blamed me ,now I'm trying to figure out help to cope with cheating, lies all above

[@jwm4ever]

Blessed ... You are 💯🎯 correct on everything you said and much more. They are just evil. Evil because they are Soo Deceitful and can put on a nice sweet kind act for over a year if need be, to get what they want. They KNOW how to be kind, respectful and giving around certain people, but are evil disrespectful abusive and cruel around the ones they love to destroy. Pure Evil

[@ThePossumone]

@@RachelTScott sigh

[@hangryturtle9006]

@@RachelTScott seek Jesus! Find a good church with small groups!

[@joannefryer9418]

I was married to a narcissist for fourteen years. What Dr. Phil says is so on target. He put into words what I went through that I couldn't explain. Just listening to what he says made me cry. It brought back feelings of despair I had forgotten. I am blessed to be out of that relationship for over forty years.

[@julesbalfe8053]

Yes, me too!

[@sunflowerhippy5280]

I can't wait to get to that place. Right now even though I know I don't need him in my life I crave to having in my life and I can't even stand to look at him

[@AngelicaNightingale]

Your reaction, crying after 40y of freeing yourself from a 14y relationship with one, clearly shows how damaging it can be to stay in a relationship with these characters. I grew up in a narcissist environment. Went no contact for a couple of years, now, after 4+ decades of trying to have a relationship with my narcs ... and I'm still healing. It's hard to realize that your family members or loved ones never really loved you, that they only used you - but it's necessary to come to terms with that realization before being able to move on. Thank you for sharing your experience. Much healing to you ❤❤❤

[@joannefryer9418]

@@AngelicaNightingale Much healing to you too. I am blessed to have wonderful family and friends and have surrounded myself only with loving people since getting out of that relationship. There are so many great people that you can have fantastic fulfilling relationships with. And once we have gone through this, we can spot the narcs a mile away. Have a lovely life 💕💕💕

[@s.s.6593]

I am getting out now after 8.5 years.

[@Yukajoseph]

Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 5 years ended, but i couldn't just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.

[@Yukajoseph]

Intriguing! I'm curious, how did you find a spiritual counselor, and what's the most effective way for me to reach him?

[@Nancy2551-g6i]

Meet father obah eze, a renowned spiritual counselor acclaimed for his talent in bringing back ex-partners.

[@Yukajoseph]

Thank you for this valuable information. I just checked father obah eze out, he’s really legit thanks for the recommendation