Phrases to Learn for Caregivers

Dementia Care and Training Specialist Teepa Snow joins Senior Helpers to teach you important phrases to learn when caring for someone with Alzheimer's and dementia.

[@superlady2960]

I am in tears❤️❤️ beautiful beautiful message. I actually said "I'm sorry this is hard" to my mom the other day and she did say the exact thing back "I'm sorry it's hard for me too" It helps me so much because I sometimes feel guilty for saying this is hard thinking it's an insult.. but it's not. I'm being honest and real. Thank you❤️❤️❤️

[@brendanwalsh681]

For anyone who has a recently diagnosed loved one, watch everything this woman uploads. There is more useful information here than you would get years of asking medics. Thanks so much to Teepa for making the complicated accessible and for understanding.

[@chellegriggs]

She is incredible...my husband was diagnosed in May, my grandmother had in so I was a little more educated...but I wish this amazing woman had been around 25 years ago...I practice everything and teaches now...it's made me a much better person for my husband..

[@ruaboshoff6850]

Its the best

[@virginiawilliams7282]

My mother just had an MRI that showed issues. It took the Dr 6 texts to say the word... Dementia. Has anyone purchased the class or DVD's this lady has?

[@susanreaves4762]

I agree.

[@Lucailey]

I work with residents that have Dementia. I am an activities assistant but, really I do much more than that. I think the best phrase in this video is "Im sorry, this is hard" another phrase I use is something I learned from another of Teepa's videos. I try to instantly be on their side. I see the looks on their faces when a bunch of well intentioned nurses and CNAs are trying to sit them down and they might not be super gentle or explain everything they are doing....and I understand that. But me going over to the frazzled elder and sitting near them, holding their hand and going. "Wow, that was so scary wasn't it!? You look scared! Do you think a hug will help?" If they don't speak or indicated that they do want a hug i got them and just do some little touches, play with their hair, put an arm around them, squeeze their hand....that kind of thing. If they keep going on about how angry they are I take their side. "Wow, you are so right! I think they were trying to help you but you weren't ready yet were you? Or, you didn't expect that to happen huh?" I try to make to make it so that the resident isn't at fault. If I have a bunch of angry coworkers I don't care. I have not had them get mad when I try to calm the resident and just agree with them. Another I do is I try to mention my own name a few time and ask them if we are friends. Most of the time someone who isn't really really will agree that yes we are friends and they tend to go along with me much more easily than me trying to act like I am their boss. I guess i try to phrase it a little more like a peer than someone telling them what to do. Ive heard some of my very high functioning residents say "who does she think we are...children!?" and i try hard not to treat them like I would my students. (i taught preschool/daycare for 11 years so some times the teacher comes out lol.) But I try very hard to treat them like a friend and not someone making demands.

[@salauerman7082]

Live Laugh Lesbian 🥰

[@KACHUKHA]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@suzannedevreugd]

Live laug finely not som1 who is doing the sort route foor themselfs and the harder route foor the person finely

[@carenallen5841]

Teepa Snow...a brilliant dementia educator...the best I’ve ever seen..and working in this field I’ve seen many Varieties of teachers / educators..this woman puts her heart and soul into finding a correct technique for every situation working with a dementia patient in home or in a nursing facility...she actually gets into skits with people showing the opposite side of the coin...she makes you the patient..see the mindset a dementia patient is dealing with....it’s coming from her heart ...she will make you understand 100% what is going on in a dementia mind and how to converse with your loved ones...Teepa Snow is my champion......please do yourself a big favor and start watching her videos also...

[@echase416]

Value the relationship (e.g. saying sorry, even if it's not our 'fault') VS winning a logical disagreement is such an important lesson. In another video, Teepa mentions that "reality orientation" is no longer used in dementia care. And how can it, if a person has 'brain failure' and brain shrinkage, etc. Better to 'go along to get along', and keep the stress down.

[@patandersen4271]

I gave all the comments a thumbs up we all need to support and love one another and know that we matter as well and that we are " NOT ALONE" these videos are helping thousands if not millions of people.

[@dawncloninger1798]

This is one of the most used lines still for me, to this day, to say... Mom help me, this is hard for me too and she will then help with pulling diaper (pull up) and help to guide her feet into Jammies and put her arms in the shirt holes...your videos totally helped me in so many ways...I love to learn... thank you so much

[@renoia3067]

These are such wonderful skills to learn, not just for treating people suffering from dementia but for every relationship otherwise. Learning to say sorry, to prioritize love and friendship over being right, to acknowledge your part in a conflict, and try to deescalate. There's no skill more crucial than that

[@biondna7984]

This woman is saving my sanity. Also, remembering the hallucinations I had from head injuries in my youth, that taught me to speak to my loved one with compassion and respect about what he's seeing, hearing and feeling.

[@djondjon]

... and a lot of the elderly fall and have concussions. I have taken care of hundreds, if not thousands of head injury patients, so I know when a person suffers a concussion. My parents went to the ER subsequent to falls, and the ER discharge papers talked about their other injuries, but did not speak of resulting concussions, much less give instructions about the care, or follow-up. When the patient suffered vomiting, nausea and headache for a few days, wasn't thinking clearly and even started having hallucinations, I know they suffered a concussion.

[@ms.pirate]

This isn't just for care givers, but for people in general

[@bluefluke7585]

Teepa, you are awesome. That visual of putting palms up to the other person's palm and moving them away to the side is a wonderful way of seeing that the problem is other than either of you. Neither of you is the problem. One of you may have a problem, but you are not the problem.

[@Marsh5392jan]

These are phrases we all should learn for relationships even without dementia.

[@beverlylamon]

When my daughter died in 2009, It was very difficult. When I came back to work all my residents were there to support me even tho I never talked about my personal life. They held me and let me know how much they wanted to help me!! Even tho some of them could not use lang ect. I will always remember them.

[@patandersen4271]

God bless you Beverly Lamon I'm sending you a hug too and happy New Year.

[@billswifejo]

Beverly Lamon I’m sorry to hear that You lost your daughter Beverly. I’m glad you found solace working with the elderly. People with dementia see your body language first, and are so quick to give love where it is needed. So easy to forget this.

[@sublimesamoyed]

I’m so sorry for your loss, Beverly. I’m grateful that your residents were comforting for you. Working with the dementia community is a wonderful experience on a personal level if we learn to speak and receive their unique communication and comfort. It’s a really special thing that I treasure too. God Bless you!

[@gerriwetherhold6369]

I had the privilege to see Teepa in person. She is masterful.

[@debraseiling455]

I am so very impressed with this training session. Thank you so much for teaching these liberating phrases to open up communication between the care giver and the patient, child and the parent, etc.

[@gailgamble6558]

Wow! I have learned so much from this lady! Thank you Teepa. My mother in law has dementia and from what I have learned from you I think she is in the fifth stage of this horrible disease! I hate it. I care about her and want to be her caregiver. Thank you for giving me the tools to help her.

[@olddocman]

Benn watching these videos with teepa doing the instruction. I have been aware of my spouse's psych dx for some time but never had anyone counsel me on it or what to do. This is some usable material Miss Teepa. thank You.

[@Socratease1]

Wonderful! I attempted to do this with my Father and eventually with my Mother-in-law to whom I was the primary carer for some years.

[@debrad.3835]

This videos with care and training specialist Teepa Snow are incredibly insightful and have been tremendously helpful to me in dealing with my situation.

[@memorymatters2161]

Thank you for ALL you do, Teepa!

[@echase416]

DEFUSING is such a great skill. Good video!

[@seniorhelpers]

Thank you, Emma!

[@junenatasha552]

Senior Helpers National.Hello,How Can i apply for the job?

[@ms.pirate]

Okay that little speech at the end made me feel emotional. Thank you

[@patandersen4271]

Love Miss Teepa and her videos.

[@degunver7672]

Amazing 😔I am trying to be a better care giver to my Mom. This IS hard and I am sorry. Feels good to hear Teepa acknowledge the struggles.

[@glasshousefuture6836]

I'm sure these phrases can really help even spousal relationships

[@teresakohrs8037]

This is very good to show you what to do I would sing all day when I was cleaning, setting the table

[@ms.pirate]

Thanks for this, i always apologize for everything because I don't know what I did wrong, and people block me and ghost me for things idk what I did wrong. Thank you

[@judymatthews7277]

Thank you so much, just that little bit of incite helped.

[@dkimble9711]

🙏❣️🙏 God's Mercy...

[@ivantovar1988]

She's very patient with her clients

[@grannybooster9188]

This is so poignant and so important in establishing and maintaining a caring, effective relationship.

[@ameliamyers5871]

Teepa should do a video of taking care of 12 people on a hall with only one aid caring for them " dementia unit"..

[@lafierechienne6921]

Ikr? But she can't,she won't be able to,that's a totally different deal. I take care of 18 and it's hard.

[@keithrussold5971]

I do feel for you this is a systems and budget issue.Eventually society has to deal with

[@judyhorstmann6332]

I try to transfer what she teaches to my position as a companion home caregiver. I have not heard anyone speak about this situation.

[@mimilin6752]

Thank you 🙏

[@schellebell757]

This is amazing

[@ivantovar1988]

Because I know I'm a kind person!

[@ivantovar1988]

I might do that one day as a job

[@bethmeadows2828]

You are amazing.

[@ivantovar1988]

I feel like I could take care of people 😊

[@javed1134]

Amazing experience

[@ivantovar1988]

I watch what she does for people who are in need

[@ivantovar1988]

I just need to find the right clients to take care of and I'll do it

[@ivantovar1988]

I might be a caregiver one day😮

[@ivantovar1988]

It's a tough job that I feel that I'm able to do

[@anitabunting7277]

What is this woman's name? I should know it as my manager did her Dementia training program in person

[@dilee2086]

What is this lovely ladie's name ?

[@wandastatton7781]

Di Lee Her name is Teepa snow : I am a certified trainer though her : eveyrhing she teaches works , I know first hand ,

[@janr.1077]

It really does. I'm blessed to have found Teepa on KZbin when I was researching dementia and Alzheimer's. I will always be grateful.

[@ivantovar1988]

I understand 😊 people with disabilities or that just need help in general

[@ivantovar1988]

My girlfriend has been a caregiver for 15 years already 😮!!¡!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@garyclark9807]

What do you do when they choose not to send a card to their grandchildren’s birthday and say, well they never did anything for me. Or refuse to pay for a meal out when we do everything for them, and they have lots of money in the bank. They tell you, I expect you to do this and that for me and don’t need to help at all financially etc. they know how much money they have, and tell you this to your face. How do we deal with that. They are in just the first stages of dementia.

[@salauerman7082]

Gary Clark , first start with prayer. I’ve seen prayers answered. Second, trust God to provide. I’ve seen that also. Third, Keep records of expenses with receipts, if possible, for future potential reimbursement. Most all of mine are in ziplock baggies with a date written on them... Fourth, Consider using advanced directives/medical power of attorney (apparently same thing, worded differently) plus financial power of attorney... conservatorship if necessary. I’m exploring what is involved, how quickly I must assert authority or if I can gently step in gradually until necessity shows more is required. I hope my experience helps!

[@1950Archangel]

Because in your world, you REQUIRE them to send a card?! Because you feel they SHOULD do this? Wise educator I know says: "Don't should on me!" Are you 'doing everything" for them in the expectation that they will pay you back? Do you do that with your friends? (Are you an employee/hired caregiver or a relative?) Do you see these are conflicting EXPECTATIONS? You "expect" this or that; THEY expect this or that -- and you (no doubt, both) REFUSE to negotiate a solution. You stand on "You OWE me" and -- wanna bet? -- so do they? If your children are their grandchildren -- then you "expect," as your parents, they should give you money for what you do for them today? Do you ever think about what they did for you; and that perhaps you therefore/also owe them (did they change your diapers? Work so you had a house and food and electricity? Dja ever think, to "buy them dinner" in recompense for THOSE things?) "they have lots of money in the bank." And they owe it to you? And you want it NOW, before they die? Yes, I know, many-maybe-most boomers ARE selfish and not thoughtful of their kids... Negotiating with them may not provide any solution. But you have seemingly decided that you know what they owe you and are pointing it out. They "refuse to pay for a meal" ... how many of your meals when you were a child did they pay for and yet not (until now?) expect you to pay them back? How about the next time you and they are planning to go out for a meal, you negotiate ahead of time who will pay? Or suggest that the two parties will need to pay for their own meals. The requisite question is: can you withhold your anger and sense of injustice ("because they OWE me!" ) and negotiate as if it were a business deal? And if they are unwilling to work out a compromise, then - as in ANY business deal -- you gently and sorrowfully turn down the deal. Not storm from the negotiating table; but gently and kindly, refuse to participate.

[@1950Archangel]

I love love love what Teepa teaches. My heart is sometimes sore that I did not find her till after my mother died... I 'had' mom for her last six months -- went to the home every evening to feed her, potty her, and put her to bed. Never had children; but I now understand the agony of your 'dear one' NEEDING something -- and you can't figure out what it was...

[@ivantovar1988]

My girlfriend is a great caregiver

[@lafierechienne6921]

Why the need to repeat everything? I completely understand the phrases without parroting the same words. I've been 20 yrs in this field,i know all the tricks and words but this lady tmakes everyone feel like idiots.

[@Star-il3zf]

La Fière Chienne of course after 20 years you know all tricks in your field. Why are you watching the videos if you don’t need to? She is an educator, she’s here to educate people who don’t know or to give extra skills. She’s here to help family members and carers of people with dementia. This video isn’t specifically aimed at you. Watch something else if you’re already an expert.

[@keithrussold5971]

Exactly, that's why we're here.And you're speaking for everyone and yourself.She's only using words to help us understand.Oh I'm so sorry does that offend we were only trying to help here. No one can make you feel offended unless you let them. Are you listing to your own emotions about whats being said. maybe pay closer attention to that after all are you working in this field

[@keithrussold5971]

I'm sorry where are your educational videos on this highly sensitive subject I can't wait

[@djondjon]

She doesn't make me feel like an idiot. Our feelings are ours to own.

[@judymatthews7277]

Thank you so much, just that little bit of incite helped.