Playing Greedfall: An Unadventurous Spirit

[@hiddenshadow2105]

"I didn't want Spiders to be next Bioware. I want them to be the first and most fascinating Spiders." If this is not an anguished declaration of love, I don't know what is.

[@JustSkram]

The sad thing is I'm pretty sure this sold way better than any of their other games so we'll probably lose the spiders we know

[@marcosdheleno]

@@JustSkram if only they had done anything that was actually worth playing before, we would have something to be sad about. they lack identity and it shows. this reminds me of this series of games i loved in the gba, called swordcraft story. its for all intents and purpose a tales of clone, but it had so much charm that you could play and not make the connection. spiders is the opposite, you can clearly see what they wanted to do, but all we can do is laugh at how bad they tried to do it...

[@CaptainPerfect]

I really want them try again in the world of Mars and technomancer. The world is just great. And keep honing their combat.

[@hiddenshadow2105]

@@CaptainPerfect I second these feelings. And they left the mystery of shattered Earth unresolved at the end, and it could be a something to touch in the next game, for example.

[@CaptainPerfect]

@@hiddenshadow2105 I think they might return, they did make 2 games in that universe, they must be proud of it at least a little bit.

[@SDNimm543]

Imagine if after that shit happened to Constantine, and he started looking all evil, he just stayed good. Total bait and switch, he's still a good guy, he just got his face fucked up.

[@chaosinc.382]

That's the kinda shit I want.

[@gerg21345]

"you fucked up my face" is now the motivation of 2 characters in games this guy has reviewed

[@logicaloverdrive8197]

I want it to go even further, "I fucked up my face, and am now motivated to be an even better person."

[@Mikeanglo]

"Looks like prince charming from Shrek." Oddly enough if you look at Greedfall as an unofficial grim-dark prequel to the Shrek films this game is a whole lot more entertaining.

[@Never_heart]

..... that actually checks out so much and explains a lot of this games thin storytelling

[@grosezero8834]

watching a 2 hour movie: zzzz watching a 2 hour essay about a game i never played and never will play : 👀

[@SpaghettiGod34]

grosezero this is the one sir, give him the medal

[@sean8102]

@@SpaghettiGod34 nailed it

[@Electroporcupine]

I've seen this exact sentence before, I can't tell if it's a meme or people copying someone else to try and look funny.

[@grosezero8834]

@@Electroporcupine This is my every day reality Brother

[@Exigentable]

@@Electroporcupine it's literally copy pasted lol. It's unoriginal and boring, but enough people see it for the first time each time to make it a top rated one. It happens on reddit too, it's even easier cuz reposts are so easily dug up, so you just copy paste the top rated comments at the right time and voila.

[@rileyschatz001]

During the entire game De Sardet is lied to, backstabbed, shamed, manipulated, and spoken down to by EVERYONE. Even when stricken with insanity, their cousin is the only one that feels like they give a fuck. I chose to become a God with him because why the fuck would I not. I didnt give a damn about anyone else.

[@kuronanestimare]

The irony of Greedfall is the Bad Ending is bad because they have to slap that title on something. Frankly, that world's inhabitants deserve to burn.

[@supereldinho]

Nothing says bad writing quite like choosing the bad ending purely to spite the writer's inability to engage the player.

[@TowkayCC]

De Sardet: "We did not come here to desecrate this holy place." *proceeds to annihilate every moving creature that can be found*

[@kuronanestimare]

To be fair, it's that creature's fault for approaching us... Nevermind the fact we were clearly going to take everything not nailed down to the floor including the roof (and take two hours doing it because Area Loot was not a feature in this game)

[@patrik3482]

That's what diplomacy is.

[@lootlord8995]

The Coin Guard are an analogue to the historical “Landsknecht” mercenaries of Germany in the 15th and 16th century, who operated independently from nations and often served on both sides in a conflict. Kingdoms had coin, but not many troops.

[@VampireNewl]

The Italian city states also made heavy use of mercenaries known as "Condottieri" I don't know if one comes from the other due to the HRE.

[@Mr.Mosquito89]

Ah, the 1500s Soldaten ohne Grenzen. Big Boss has some explaining to do.

[@daedalus6433]

Ah, the only reason Gustav Vasa could dissolve the Kalmar Union.

[@TheThingInMySink]

You have to remember the Landsknecht weren't in any way a unified organization though, it's not like say a company like Blackwater selling it's services to two different sides of a conflict, but rather individual mercenary companies, usually made up mostly of German and mercenaries hiring themselves out to the highest bidder, they were just all generally all referred to as 'Landsknecht' so think of the word more as a period term for a specific kind of mercenary, rather than a specific organization. Technically anyone with enough wealth and influence could raise a company of Landsknecht, like the Black Band, established by George the Bearded, Duke of Saxony. There are also the Swiss Reisläufers who are often mistaken as Landsknecht, they were contemporary and in the iconographic evidence we have from the period dressed much like the landsknecht did, and employed the pike as their primary weapon, although the Swiss are still seen as having fought in a distinct style in the period, most often referred to as the 'Swiss charge'.

[@Songbearer]

Hey, it's not easy for Spiders to make games, you know. They're only tiny and pressing the keys is hard for them They also spend too much time just browsing the web rather than working

[@sometwithtoomuchfreetim3842]

Songbearer Pure genius.

[@aquila4690]

you clever devil

[@alexanderthemagnifcent2573]

Best comment I read in a long time

[@gonzo3915]

Very good.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

This is my headcanon for this company now.

[@DirkBrickAction]

I know it's a birthmark, but I can't see that splotch on De Sardet's face as anything other than a remarkably ugly patch of facial hair.

[@FumblsTheSniper]

DirkBrickAction A for the thought, D for execution kind of situation.

[@planescaped]

I had no idea it was a birthmark... I thought it was a graphical glitch or something. XD

[@degeneratemale5386]

That’s a birthmark? I thought it was the malichor

[@jaredfrancis5062]

Technically not a birth mark. Yes in that he's had it since birth but there are those who recieve that mark who aren't born with. It is those that are bonded with the Island. He has it because his mother was one of those healer types or whatever they're called

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

Yeah I thought it was facial hair as well

[@Firepowerx31]

Really trying to hit that 10 min mark for that ad revenue

[@Firepowerx31]

In all honesty thanks tehsnakerer I love the content that you post and will hope to always see more of your brilliant work

[@Tehsnakerer]

Thank you

[@0va.exdee_335]

P Murphy everything today is so unoriginal this remark itself is unoriginal

[@beantowncrocodile8327]

@@0va.exdee_335 "no u"

[@disguisedpeanutbutter8334]

@@0va.exdee_335 Maybe it's my autism but I really don't get these 'wow, u are so original' arguments. 99.9% of all things you could ever say or think has already been said or thought about. I kinda get that repetition is bad, but still-

[@jbc00per]

"wait a minute I romanced her?" Made me laugh way to much

[@BetterThanNothing123]

I had that same experience in dragon's dogma 😅

[@Grandmastergav86]

@Code Turtle Technomancer is just schizophrenic but I love it for that 🤣

[@biostar4]

Same happened with me in Mass Effect I

[@Tyronejizz]

too*

[@BloodyAltima]

@@biostar4 In DA:O, Zevran's romance can be started by picking a response where you note that you don't mind him being flirty. In context, its absolutely supposed to be "oh, I *really* don't mind ;)," but autistic teenage me did not realize that until another ten hours or so in after confirming a relationship with Liliana later. Cue awkwardness.

[@Gantann]

"It turns out that Sardet was conceived at the Shore of Tall Bones and really, weren't we all?" I appreciate this joke and admire your strength of will for plopping it in the middle of a section where it wouldn't even have time to sink in for effect.

[@OfficialReckM8]

I still don't get it lol

[@Mr.Mosquito89]

@@OfficialReckM8 You'll get it when you're older.

[@SkigBiggler]

@@OfficialReckM8 Tall BONES. Is referring to an erect dick, and presumably shore could be interpreted as referring to a vagina.

[@JayTohab]

MicroTransactionsMatterToo Wow. Crushing innocence as soon as possible, huh?

[@tempestvenator9809]

@@SkigBiggler So basically it's a euphemism for Sardet being a bastard child?

[@PenumbranWolf]

On a historical note, during the Renaissance Italy made ubiquitous use of mercenary armies for it's internal fighting and it's external ones. So much so that the fighting was excessively indecisive and the mercs would frequently just take the field and the commanders would fence with their formations, refusing to commit to any real maneuver and never having their forces engage in any real combat. This was because the mercs all knew each other and didn't want to kill their friends or risk each other's paydays. Thus there is something to be said for the existence of The Coin Guard.

[@tassadarc8069]

"The fact that she never does that in game is why I never upgrade anyone's equipment." This is truly the supreme form of pettiness. I approve!

[@TheRoach.]

english man reads you a bed time story ASMR

[@TheRoach.]

just wanted to say i dont exclusively watch you to go to sleep, longform reviews are my secret kink

[@Corrupted]

@@TheRoach. Let me assure you, all of us are like you, I cant fall asleep without one of these anymore hahaha

[@troublesome3379]

I remember having similar problems with ME: Andromeda, we're supposed to be explorers yet everything has been named, there are built up and prepared settlements everywhere and even ruins but despite all that it pretends like the player is a pioneer, super irritating for such an interesting idea to be lost so quickly in the game.

[@MegaRazorback]

Well to be fair to ME: Andromeda, you're told VERY early on that the Nexus has already been there for about a year and that several attempts have already been made to colonize area but that's as far as your told and it doesn't as you say explain how everything is already named in your map...

[@thesilverblueman]

​@@MegaRazorback even then that's thrown out when you go to the exile settlement, and they act like they've been there for a decade or so

[@MegaRazorback]

@@thesilverblueman Yeah there's that but i think the angle they were trying to go for there was the utter hell the exiles are in...Doesn't really feel like that though.

[@megamike15]

andromeda atlest sticks to it's theme with alot of it's chracters and side content. greeddfall is just a bunch of ideas that start blending togther.

[@frosty7292]

If you listen in game youre re exploring old places

[@BlargleWargle]

A shopkeeper being present every kilometer or so in the wilderness rather does make the "adventure" here feel like when Spongebob and Patrick camped out five feet from their houses. Except they at least had to deal with the danger of sea bears.

[@Never_heart]

Now I want Sar Dea to be mauled be a sea bear

[@maxwellsterling]

That voice tone is sadly familiar to me. That tone when you disappointedly talk about how much you wanted to like a game that does so little to captivate you as it progresses; that tone when you start to hopefully talk about what it could be, spouting idea after idea and sort of living in a short moment of bliss because you're imagining it all becoming the real thing; a tone which might sound like it comes out of pure spite to those who don't know it, but those who have felt the same about any game can't help but sympathize and even be captivated by the ranting. Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, but between any movie and these movie-length game reviews, I will always be more than glad to pick the angry British man. Awesome back in those 2013 videos, still awesome now.

[@mishatarkus]

I often call it the Dragon Age Inquisition tone.

[@utisti4976]

@@mishatarkus I call it The Witcher 3 tone.

[@catsquidcatoverlord9842]

JoJos bizarre adventure Part 3 for me.

[@Keyfur91]

"A bit of poison on my blade, and let's go!"

[@Mr.Mosquito89]

Move away, things are about to get dicey!

[@webbmerriam6984]

"*whatever the fuck Siora says"

[@gamer65688]

@@webbmerriam6984 "radagana rigisigana" I think

[@Mike_Hawk_Is_Hugh_Mungus]

"May the EnLiGhTeNeD help me in this battle!" - Old mormon daddy

[@budzas]

"Here's to my health, AND DEATH TO THE ENEMY"

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

"Good night, sweet prince..." - Was that MEANT to be comedic? There's no good answer to this question. As an aside, that bad ending where everything's gone pear-shaped and two mortals have achieved an unstable godhood, perpetuating some sort of spirit-plague on the world, and all of the different factions are fighting each other in a never-ending Orwellian-style free-for-all - that sounds like an infinitely better setting for a video game.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Now you say it, if there ever is a Greedfall 2 somehow, I hope it canonises the bad ending, that's an opening for a setting

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

@@Tehsnakerer Even thematically it works as a sequel, from the optimism of traveling to a new "land of opportunity" as presented in the prologue to the cynical reality of exploitation and mutual dysfunction such a radical change brings to both involved parties - like Spain hitting a boom period post-discovery but then getting mired in an inevitable decline as the other powers scramble to consume the carcass of the Spanish empire. Make that soul-plague shit an analog for Syphilis and you'll actually be carving up a message with all that edge. They get to have their cake, and eat it, and then choke on it. With no milk in sight. Same with the mortals-turned-deities. It's like pottery, it rhymes.

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

Actually, it just hit me that what I proposed was basically just the goddamn premise of Morrowind.

[@greybayles7955]

@@Tehsnakerer Honestly id respect that move. I dont think ive ever played a sequel that was like "remember that good ending you got last game? Yeah, that didnt happen"

[@hital937]

​@@greybayles7955 Xcom 2 kinda pulled it off. "You beat the aliens, sike, you losing is now canon". Its not exactly the same, but its the closest i can think of.

[@АйдоралСмертестойкий]

Even tho I completed EVERY single side quest and maxxed out all relationships I chose the "bad" ending. Why would i believe a talking treetrunk over the man I grew up with? Bros before trees!

[@kasadeya3754]

you Too?

[@Alanenemyofgod0]

The only reason why I chose to save Teer Fradee from Constantin has a name: Siora.

[@KPWSinister1]

"Oi, That's Sarde!" is a running gag that should have happened more of. Great vid.

[@kingoftropes922]

"Man, Tehsnakerer hasn't uploaded another essay in a while, let me check his channel real quick" *2 hour video essay about some random game I have never heard of that dropped 30 minutes ago* "O H B A B Y"

[@Tehsnakerer]

Say hello to the monster

[@Hanskleineroms]

Your voice helps me sleep and I don’t know why but that’s not a negative honestly thank you I have insomnia and you always help me sleep thank you man love your vids

[@torylva]

"FIGHT WITH HONOUR!" And gets immidietly shot in the face. I love you, Snakerer

[@andrewgrace3418]

It Caught me so off guard

[@catsquidcatoverlord9842]

@@andrewgrace3418 it also caught the guy off guard too.

[@zzxp1]

Why give character collars so big if they are going to clip their chins through them constantly lol

[@arsenkurmangali2997]

Witcher 3 bear armor flashbacks

[@Eshtian]

It's not really an issue though Then again I'm a dark souls player so maybe I'm just used to it

[@SpicyChickenGodAJ]

If there isn't a montage set to "I need a hero" I will be disappointed.

[@Tehsnakerer]

You will be disappointed

[@SpicyChickenGodAJ]

@@Tehsnakerer well now I know how you felt playing Greedfall.

[@RawbeardX]

ah, Spiders. I will never forget Bound by Flame, where if you actually play the selling point of the game... you get an "and then the demon kills the world - drop to main menu" non-ending

[@alalvarez7301]

Please elaborate Because this sounds like thr kind of idiocy Spiders would come up with

[@thespanishinquisition4078]

Bound By Flame present a world ravaged by 7 Ice Lords. You are a soldier possessed by a flame demon. The selling point is you get to use cool fire magic to melt the bastards like a walking natural disaster. But if you do that the flame demon eats the world. No, instead you have to tell the genie to fuck off and beat the game using nothing but your sword. This would be ok if rejecting the demon actually gave you SOMETHING to do, like use traps or different weapons, you know, human ingenuity. But no. It just makes you sword do more and more damage without giving you any cool new toys. So your choice is either have fun and get the bad ending, or beat the game by repeatedly pressing the attack button without any nuance so you can see the good ending. Yay...

[@RawbeardX]

@@thespanishinquisition4078 I guess rejecting the demon allows you to equip a helmet late in the game. it's something, right?

[@TheBonkleFox]

@@thespanishinquisition4078 So it's like if the Snowgrave route in Deltarune was the main selling point of Chapter 2?

[@dragonforks93]

@@thespanishinquisition4078 Dishonored had that problem too, most of the game's cool powers were strictly lethal which in turn gave you the high chaos (bad) ending

[@griffca4814]

As someone who played and loved the game I can say that all the criticisms he made are 100% true.

[@thinkingmachine354]

Griffca I feel the same way

[@juniorjunior5884]

Hobos: "There's the prince, being a war criminal."

[@aurelionight]

>2 hour long tehsnakerer video thank you father this is an excellent christmas gift

[@Nionivek]

When I think about how the plot could have been set up I think: The two major factions want a cure, they are desperate for a cure, in fact their Zealotry and Callousness was far more understated before the outbreak (It wasn't "not" a thing... but it wasn't all encompassing. Obviously anyone who had religious tolerance or scientific ethics would have been swept away in desperation). Both factions believe the new land has a cure but are worried that any sort of conflict might end up destroying the island. So they ask, essentially, the Merchants Guild because they only want money... But they aren't stupid to ways you could betray them... You need to maintain impartiality because if one side believes you favor the other, they fear you might sell the cure to their enemy... Thus they will take their chances and attack the island. . This even allows you to leverage the natives since, obviously, a cure would be easier to find with their co-operation. As well keeping them happy might also be important, because if they need to be quelled, the same issue ends up occurring (It could be said that altogether the natives are stronger than the CURRENT forces, but that the individual tribes haven't united. Thus you cannot overly favor or disfavor them either)

[@ZukoPrince]

*raises the sword* «FIGHT WITH HONOUR!» *immediately gets shot in the face* Definitely one of my favorite bits 👌

[@cyberninjazero5659]

"Presentation over nuanced decision making" Oof I felt that

[@marcosdheleno]

to make thigns worse, the presentation isnt even that high to begin with...

[@spehizle]

The first two hours were great. Lots of ways to approach an objective, the idea that there was a clash between your moral duty as an individual would clash with your civic duty as an official of your nation (which has its morally dubious moments), the backdrop of plague and desperation against advances in technology, magic, and exploration, I was so fucking excited. 10 hours later, and quests are just "Run to person x and click. Now run to person y and click. Now run back to person x and click. Now put on a sailor's uniform." It became so nakedly apparent that the story was invariant. Nothing I did actually had any sort of social impact. I never felt morally challenged to put my own morality against my duty to my country. And the combat devolved into dodge and shoot. I started this game with such high excitement, and 20 hours later I uninstalled it without any intention of ever finishing it. And your companions are so BORING!

[@nmvidro]

These are my exact feelings on this game. Old Serene really was such a neat concept for exploring, as well as how your station fit into how the factions work (or don't work). I got to Teer Fradee and couldn't keep interested. A shame.

[@utisti4976]

Same. The first couple hours were honestly pretty good. Teer Fradee was boring as hell. :(

[@Alanenemyofgod0]

To be honest, I felt the very opposite. I couldn't stand Old Serene and the only reason why I kept playing was because the next month the game will be out of Gamepass. But after I arrived to Teer Fradee, things became more interesting, and after I met Siora, I was completely hooked.

[@PantsuAficionado]

"I hope 2020 is good" It sure is Snakey boi, it sure is

[@sneezebiscuits7239]

Ouch

[@timothymclean]

If only the plague the real world had to deal with could be solved by killing one crazy cousin.

[@calebjones4952]

I *loved* how the main antagonist of the game, the final obstacle, the big baddie, is a schmuck who happened to get the plague, rubbed some dirt on his cysts, and did a full 180 on what little a character he had developed. *Absolutely awesome.* Edit: Apparently there is *some* foreshadowing that said schmuck does become the rotfiend he inevitably does, because reasons. That being the damned tavern song he's introduced with. *A single, throw-away line.* That's it. Unless I missed something in the ocean of meaningless sidequests I refused to complete on principle, which is entirely possible. Edit the Second: Considering there is indeed a mechanic involving time, said timer could've been used for finding Schmuck a healer. For example, you would have a few days, give or take, to follow any and all leads to find anyone with medical skills, and if the player fails, they can instead use and kill Catasach to take the path the game's plot "requires", in a frightened or furious attempt to prevent anymore deaths caused by the affliction. But no, I guess that would've been too taxing on resources better used for the Courcillon Laps. Edit the Third: Seeing as this joke comment has already garnered enough attention, I may as well mention how poorly the Coin Guard's prominence was explained or even thought through. Hell, Spiders already *had* a reason and failed to capitalize on it as a story element, that being the fact that Thélème and the Bridge are at war. They could easily have written the events of the coup to take place after, at the very least, a ceasefire between the factions is negotiated. They could also have written that, seeing as they *are* the biggest collection of ancaps in the Gacanese political climate, the Congregation had not only formed the Coin Guard, but also funded the coup personally to take full control of Tir Fradi. But again, they thought the resources were better used on other things, such as copy-pasted palace interiors, residence interiors, and bosses. This bloody game.

[@Cyborgs7]

OH GOD IS THAT A "GOOD ENDING BAD ENDING" BUTTON? I'm sick of this.

[@manboy4720]

do you want rainbows gumdrops schnookums bookums? or ultra murder death pain agony 9000 argh?

[@JayTohab]

2:02:58

[@deeznoots6241]

Love meaningful choices between genocide and not genocide

[@planescaped]

Would've been even better if he was holding out both of his hands as metaphorical buttons.

[@Trumpeter.Pratt2]

Nice an 2 hour video from the best anime girl

[@saltyshrimppasta]

So I’d like to start off by saying 100% of your criticisms are valid, but I feel that you and I see the game completely different, likely because I went into it with astronomically low expectations. The lack of choice didn’t really bother me because I guess I didn’t view this game as a “true RPG,” it’s more like an RPG-Lite. I think De Sardet being a pre-determined character helped me with that, and it feels more like The Witcher 3 without the far-reaching unforeseen consequences that game offers. As far as moment to moment choice is concerned, both of these games are about the same imo. I also noticed something interesting with the factions that made me love the “bad” ending. You learn early on that everybody are bastards and that they’re basically only out for themselves, and then you continuously see that in every side quest in the game. Even if the leadership wasn’t aware of what was going on, I still felt they were responsible. I subconsciously started getting more and more confrontational in the later half of the game and started solving problems by killing the people causing them. I started thinking “Maybe Derdre should run these fuckers off the island by this point,” and I think that more than anything makes Constantin’s offer at the end have weight. I actually had to stop and consider it, because in some ways he is right. Why should you save everybody? Why should you stop the Malichor from killing the people who brought it upon themselves? This recontextualized almost everything that I had done before, and I think that’s what Spiders was going for with this ending. I agree that they failed to stick the landing in almost every area, but that last one stuck out for me, and I actually enjoyed this game a lot.

[@elitereptilian200]

Yeah I enjoyed it a lot too for much of the same reasons, ai absolutely loathed technomancer and had 0 expectations of greedfall and at the time it was like 7€ in xbox store, it sure has issues and flaws but I ended up liking it a lot 100% it couple of times..

[@TheAlmightyAss]

To be fair, lots of games are probably good if you go in with extremely low expectations.

[@PANCAKEMINEZZ]

"why should I save people from the Malichor when they brought it up on themselves" Maybe don't throw the commoners in with the people who actually let it loose on them? That's such a broad and sweeping statement that is insanely psychopathic when you stop to think about it. That's like saying you have the option to save a country from a war but stopping to think about it because they (the politicians) brought the war in themselves. I don't see your point at all.

[@saltyshrimppasta]

@@PANCAKEMINEZZ Tbh the world building in this game is a flaccid that it’s impossible for me to even use that train of thought. The developers don’t display the people of this world any better than their governments. With Theleme, the citizens actually seem to be just as bad as the Ordo Luminus, specifically because the game refuses to show anybody in a positive light. So, yeah, fuck em. It’s not real life.

[@retrogamelover2012]

I guess. Though, at the same time, I feel like the "bad ending" choice sort of has that kind of blanket statement type of thing, that discourse surrounding the world prior to the Great War in Fallout had, with people like Oxhorn pretty much making some valid counter-points to the claim that "everybody deserved it". Sure, it might be argued that my own idealism and such might be showing in this perspective, but at the same time, we're not exactly 100% certain of how everything turns out (we're not clairvoyant, after all), so there is a possiblity for events that transpire to defy that sort of cynical to pessimistic expectation, regarding things at large. So, I guess there's possibly some nuance to the final choice at the end, even if it is kind of speculative.

[@Kaneland2014]

Even on a rewatch, I still end up in stitches at Part 8: The Anatomy of a Quest. The way you make progressively more annoyed remarks every time you go back to Courcillion is always hilarious!

[@g0lgrim1]

I realy love how every quest you do for the Coin Guard... even this very first one... is allready tied into their main story later. YOU helped them smuggle more weapons for their betrayal onto the island... YOU enabled their uprising.

[@axios4702]

"The worst type of boredom, is the one on the very verge of being entertaining."

[@dereklupsiewcz4862]

Oh yeah. This is exactly the shit I needed today. A good snakerer vid and one chock full of emotion at that! You're a god DAMN treat to watch man, get some nice rest and I'll be happy whenever the next vid comes.

[@legateelizabeth]

I think that's the angriest I've ever heard you. You sound so... disappointed, pissed off that you can't have a game you really want and enjoy. Damn, this struck a chord.

[@rjnash2610]

Sure about that? I mean, he rated it a 7.5/10 on his other channel...

[@theprotagonist2025]

@@looinrims wow Finally a smart person on the internet

[@foxt.5043]

@@looinrims I would say stupid people are the most vocal

[@afarce4172]

It really sets a decently high bar early; I lost interest once I got to the island, but the opening was good for what I expected of Spiders (still not a fan of their combat). They really should go with the Witcher 1 approach. Stick to a few locations flesh them out and use the characters whenever needed instead of having throwaways.

[@nolanburke3669]

​@rjnash2610 a bit late, but what other channel

[@klynk5107]

The arse shattering power of your argumentative skills in action

[@ASloppyJoe]

Merry Christmas to us! And have a happy holiday should you celebrate, Snaker!

[@scroom1202]

They perfectly matched Bioware. They even got the at launch lip syncing right. The difference is that the Spiders team has a small studio and budget, and Bioware is just incompetent.

[@paulunga]

You can be a small studio AND incompetent...

[@scroom1202]

@@paulunga True, but a studio that was small and incompetent would have failed to even release the game.

[@paulunga]

@@scroom1202 I suppose so. At least Spiders is good at shipping finished products in a timely manner. There's something to be said for that.

[@Meatball996]

Bioware are incompetent but they succeeded at one thing spiders didn't, entertainment. i'd rather a horrible game that i love playing than a boring one. Also they didn't pussy out on alien sex.

[@scroom1202]

@@Meatball996 First, I would like to thank you for your opinion. Second, nobody brought up sex scenes or "pussy" prior to you. Intercourse is only gameplay in porn games. Finally, both companies only give half messures with there sex scenes and they end up being pretty hollow as a result.

[@peppermillers8361]

You know it's disappointing when the title of the game is more entertaining than the game itself. This review makes me want to rewatch the War Logs video because it's amazing.

[@kakazi2170]

6:53 Kurt: "Fight with Honor!" De Sardet: *"Parry this you fuckin casual"*

[@Racob12]

When I do complete the game I’ll listen to the whole review. But, at least for the moment, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the 28 hours I’ve currently invested into the gameplay. So far I’d rate it an 8/10 in general, but there are a few parts that do break immersion or aren’t scripted right. It is an interesting and fun game for myself, but we’ve all got different opinions on what makes a fun game. Not disappointed so far, but I’ll hear the full take at the end of the game. Thank you still for going very in depth into your reasoning and explanation, even if I don’t agree.

[@laurencampbell3320]

I did the same, I came back to this video after I finished my playthrough. I honestly still enjoy the game quite a bit.

[@dannypistilli4864]

Its a really good game. And the fact that 40 people put it together is quite impressive

[@rokkfel4999]

@@dannypistilli4864 wait only 40 people don’t like....most games even from smaller developers have around a hundred or so on a single title? Damn they did quite decently

[@rafterman5072]

@@rokkfel4999 I think there were like forty full time developers. They had about another 40 that they contracted I believe.

[@rokkfel4999]

@@rafterman5072 I mean still that’s impressive and if they can improve the game play and the map a bit I can see the next game being huge

[@brandonmorel2658]

Your critique about how natives speak perfect English is one I share. It really kills the world building when characters that are supposed to be isolated from the outer world speak English without faults. Writers dont need to create new languages in fantasy settings , they can use other languages that are not English, that way they can be way more consistent and not break the immersion of the players each time a character opens their mouth.

[@alexispalangeo8643]

Well, it has been said that The congregation of merchants has been sending expeditions to tir fradi since more than a hundred years ago. It's not a totally secluded world. It was, in fact, the very same place where Saint Matheus, the great idol of Theleme, spent his last years.

[@brandonmorel2658]

@@alexispalangeo8643 thank you

[@frostsoul4199]

honestly, i think that if we were to go along with Snake's proposition for how the game's decisions should be handled, i think Constantin should also be influenced by our choices. imagine if while he was sick, he had spies watching over our actions, so he could study what we do and how we handle politics. it would make sense that a dying man would want to know the progress of the one person that is working tirelessly to save him. and this studious and intelligent nature of his could make him a far more capable than ourselves if he weren't deathly sick. so if we were suave but also evil and incredibly selfish to the point of where we screw over others for personal or political gain, Constantin would take that to heart as to how a leader should be. which would make his transformation into potential villainy actually threatening, giving us another reason to take selfless actions to prevent him from being influenced by our misdeeds. and if we were to take a path of understanding, and utmost peaceful resolutions possible, it could even allow us to not have to fight him, since he would know better.

[@CatBitchNami]

Yeah, to make it easy on the writers, he could still be the final villain either way, but depending on our choices, maybe in the good path we could have a Fallout-esk scenario where we convince him to give up on his plans of villainy.

[@nickd1978]

You are a fantastic writer dude. I started with your Hunt Down The Freeman video as a Half-Life fan and have now watched a handful of your other vids, covering games I have basically no interest in. Just absolutely blown away by the quality of work here.

[@AsymptoteInverse]

Hear hear! I very much appreciate the detailed, considered, long-form analyses.

[@kthxbaiz]

Just a random thing I think I figured out: when the game warps you back to Courcillon at 45:00, I think the reason is because Morange is with you. The developers may have not wanted to program a friendly AI for her for just one bit where she follows you from her house to the palace. So, instead of having to do that, the game just warps her and your party straight there. I suppose that could explain why this is, like, the only time you are warped directly to a NPC for a conversation.

[@Schlachtoros]

2:08:47 "I hope 2020 is good." Oh boy, let me tell you something

[@Tehsnakerer]

He was so naive

[@rubix5293]

We got hit with the malichor.

[@raven75257]

Every year it gets worse

[@FumblsTheSniper]

The “inner thoughts of the peasant” joke was way funnier than it should have been. Probably the silly Monty Python voice.

[@dootmarine1140]

I really had high hopes for this game but decided to check this review out first. You've killed my interest and hearing your pure, unbridled emotion makes me honestly say... Thank you very much!

[@dieyng]

Maybe don't give too much weight to a single reviewer, who definitely has a skewed perspective on what constitutes a good game. I like Snakerer, he's smart and funny, but unless you constantly find yourself agreeing with him on titles that aren't already known as complete rubbish from the start, you might consider his biases.

[@jimjam7928]

I played through Technomancer this year, and while I can say that I enjoyed its setting and characters a lot, I don't think I want to ever play another Spiders game again.

[@newironside]

Mars: War Logs and Bound By Flame were far better than technomancer. Mainly because they are a 10th of the length

[@lurighashandarei1318]

I still feel bound by flame is their best game

[@dohnjoe1545]

I just finished this game after weeks of starting and stopping and starting it again. 40ish hours of "playing". And as usual after finishing a game I know he reviewed I came to watch his essay to see what crazy shit he could rant about since there's a lot to unpack here. Turns out I had more fun with this 2 hours video than from the actual 40 hours game. A lot more food for thought too. And for free. "Greedfall you can't stick a f+++ing landing when it has people waving you in !" said the Snake to the Spider. Good times.

[@olo9127]

Thank you for shouting out Ludo Lense at 33:00 ! He has a pretty low subscriber count and hasn't put anything out in a while, so I doubt I ever would have discovered him on my own, but his videos are great! Been watching through his catalogue in between constantly rewatching your and Mandalore's videos.

[@nikital.6523]

"What a shame." "Good night, sweet prince." Are you sure it isn't secretly a parody RPG? Also this review had as much backtracking as Technomancer (still less than Greedfall). Anyhow, cheers, I hope all the work you put into this one was worth it.

[@mdd4296]

Dont forget "That battle was... EPIC"

[@nikital.6523]

@@mdd4296 Oh, I forgot about that one alright. I'm honestly not sure if it is clulesness or self-awareness that's dripping from that line.

[@mdd4296]

@@nikital.6523 It's some French edgelord so... Yes.

[@DasLPEis]

So, I wanna say this. I've been watching your videos for like 2 years now and I keep rewatching them over and over (especially Hunt Down To Fuck and Dead Rising 4) but I hadn't watched this video until very recently. I started watching in segments about 3 or 4 days ago whenever I had the time and whenever I open KZbin I see this at the top of my recommended tab. The vibes I get when I watch this are unforgettable. It feels like you and I have gone on this adventure that is ripping this game apart. It feels like we're friends, it gives me such a feeling of comfort and company (in a time like this it is very much appreciated) I'll add this to my list of my all time favorite KZbin videos to rewatch it very soon. Stay healthy and stay safe!

[@Tehsnakerer]

You stay safe as well

[@Thevarg]

"I hope 2020 is good". Oh, brother... Nice and witty as always Snake, i'm trying to forcefeed your vids to my friends in every possible situation.

[@That_Montage_Nerd]

*Looks at phone’s battery percentage* *Looks at video length* Time to live life on the edge.

[@sean8102]

This was a nice surprise to enjoy during holiday break. Hope you have a great Christmas and happy new year. Thanks for all the great content.

[@shademidnight6007]

I normally don't comment but this video deserves an acknowledgment; thank your for putting in the effort to evaluate a game I myself will never play. I saw it on the steam store back during a sale and got the same feeling as from HDTF and while it is nowhere near as unpolished it oozed many of the same warnings... lots of attention and many promises that would look presumptuous even from the likes of Bethesda, Bioware, and Valve during their heydays. Your teaser on the stealth mechanics only cemented my assumptions and with many companies taking nosedives into silly genre tropes that would put the Cod and Doom clone days to shame I didn't hold out much hope for this one, and that was long before I had any clue who Spiders were (even after watching your Mars series). This has been thoroughly enjoyable to watch and listen too and your half praising sarcastic voice made even this game (which looked painful to play if I'm being honest) genuinely entertaining. Contentedly awaiting more videos of scathing praise and humor... Shade E. Midnight P.S. I forgot I was on KZbin and wrote this comment like a FF.net review.... cheers!

[@michaelweaver9360]

He always finds the strangest little games that will otherwise be forgotten.

[@anonymoose1121]

hey man, ever played Kenshi? I think it might be up your alley based on your grievances with this game. it embodies unforgiving game design and charming jank

[@GreenEyedDazzler]

Neptune Break YES

[@kphizzle9569]

Also YES

[@boogiewooggie6724]

Y E S !

[@Exigentable]

Snake, please Kenshi

[@OrdericNeustry]

I remember feeling excited in the beginning, but at the end I mostly felt "Meh."

[@wisdomfox857]

Yes i felt they really cheaped out on the ending

[@stonefreesia6930]

This video has been teased so much and I'm so excited it's finally here

[@vetreas366]

So the main plot essentially becomes: Constantin: Oh no, I'm dying and losing my mind while I do so. The pain is unbearable! Catasach: That calls for my special homemade beer with a dash of tainted blood and a magic ritual that will bind you to the land! You... weren't planning on leaving anytime soon, right? Constantin: Nah, my dad's an asshole. Cool shit you got here, you sure it won't turn me evil or something? Catasach: Naaaaaaaaaaaaah High-King: Monster! Demon! Evil! Destroyer! Despoiler! I am Harvey Birdman, High-King at law! I will build an igloo made of rocks and trap you in it! Constantin: What. Catasach: Wh--- **dies** Sardet: Unhand that handsome cousin at once! High-King: Never! I am the hero and will save everyone through the means of kidnapping and murder! CAAAAAW!! Sardet: Siora! Hand me my duck-hunting rifle! High-King: Caaaw?! **dies as well** Doctor: Welp, your brother looks like an environmentalist zombie with tree branches coming out of his skull... but he's physically fit to rule! All hail zombie Constantin! Constantin: Hey coz! I'm doing great! Feels like I could even... take over the world! **winks in the general direction of the player's POV** Sardet: Ah that's cool and also not evil, happy you're fine coz! Many hours later Tree God: Your coz is not fine! Sardet: Whaaaaaaaaaaa? Tree God: Dude went crazy with fear after almost dying, can't you see? I mean, really, can't you see? Dude has tree branches coming out of his head, shit's weird! Sardet: You're a tree! Tree God: Exactly my point! Do you see any tree branches coming out of MY head? Sardet: Not having this conversation, "Dad" now what do about my cousin who I don't believe is actually evil. Tree God: Follow him for 5 damned minutes and see what happens. A bit later Constantin: **does evil** Sardet: Le Gacaine gasp! We must stop him! Fucker's evil! A bit more later but not much more Sardet: Welp, my allies have chosen the most effective team ups that will allow them to fight better without any unnecessary friction that a writer may need to actually resolve if this was a narrative of some sort so that's cool. Friends left me as well... You'd think that the expedition to attack the enemy mastermind would warrant a few bodyguards... But whatevs, maybe they wanted to give us some space so I could be murdered or corrupted in peace... Sardet: ... Sardet: I have no friends and hope they all die. Let's storm the castle! Sardet: Wait, actually why *are* they all hanging back? I thought the whole point was stopping Const---- Constantin: COUSIN! How nice to see you! You know I always loved you, right? How about a homemade refreshing corruption beer? It's made of tainted blood and whatever else I had lying around! It will grow some evil on your chest... or something! Sardet: ... Well, I guess it's good I'm alone so I can make this decision, otherwise I may have had to argue with someone and as an official Legate and diplomat, arguing is just not my strong suit. Now what to do here? I know he's evil, I've made that point and ran my ass around to unite people against him instead of just letting him do what he wanted... But he is a nice chap all around when he's not murdering people or bringing the Apocalypse to the whole planet... DRINK THE BEER ENDING! Sardet: Yeah, fuck it. I hate everyone in this world, my blind dying mother included, I hope she suffered as she withered away knowing she would never lay eyes on me again or ever hear my voice! Not my real mom anyway! As for my "friends" the fuckers let me storm a castle alone so I might as well give them a surprise when I come out! Constantin: Cool de Courcillon: World's dying and I suck lol STAB THE DEER COUSIN ENDING! Sardet: Yeah, sure, that sounds cool but you wanna know what would be cooler? Constantin: Ah... well, sure, cousin! I'd love to see what you had that was cooler! You know how we always played as children and you... Sardet: It's MY KNIFE! **stabs** Constantin: Awww come on! **falls down dead** Sardet: You know, for a man who really feared death and then took what was essentially poison to maybe avoid it and then went insane out of the fear of dying later on, you seem rather blasé about this. Constantin: **dead** Sardet: I mean I'm just saying if you were this uninterested you could've just... stopped at some point before you grew deer antlers made of tree branches Constantin: **still dead** Sardet: I mean it was outright character assassination-- Constantin: **it's bad writing, okay?** Sardet: Ah! Well, then, I should contribute to the atmosphere. **cradles the deer cousin's body** "Goodnight, sweet prince!" Constantin: **if I still had bodily functions I would cringe so hard I'd die again** de Courcillon: All's good and I still suck lol In retrospect, the "bad" ending makes a lot of sense if we look at things in context and just assume Sardet is done with the bullshit of having to mediate between 5 cultures with factions ran by idiots, populated by morally bankrupt monsters and the "now the world is ending too so better get on it, Sardet" situation. I mean, he's supposed to be an important ambassador and all he did was run around the swamp killing animals and doing errands for most of the game. They have a mercenary army at their disposal and one of the higher ups is still doing errands for everyone else, including said mercenaries. To be fair, I actually enjoyed the game when I played it. Not because it was good but I felt it was promising and that a follow-up could possibly iron out most of the issues and hollow aspects of it. But then I again, I had not played either of the Technomancer games at that time. So for someone who only played this one game from Spiders, it's a pretty interesting thing with good potential whereas for Spiders games veterans, it's just indicative that they haven't really improved the key aspects of their story telling and gameplay mechanics. It's an expected dichotomy, for sure, but it does tell me that Spiders seem content to just... be good enough so that it's not outright repulsive to new players. That's not the Bioware way! The Bioware way is that you make some decent games and build a reputation, get bought out by EA and then have your soul removed slowly withering into a husk of your former self that EA can put on over their face and pretend like everything is fine! With that said, I do hope EA one day puts spiders over its face before remembering it's highly arachnophobic.

[@GantXP]

Nice. Wasn't expecting all that when I hit "Read more".

[@rsk-1337]

This was great

[@ravenknight4876]

Would you consider doing a Kingdome come:deliverance critique at some point ? There doesn't seem to be a long form one anywhere so far.

[@caladamson7281]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/aJikkGCZaNalirc This one by NeverKnowsBest is good

[@ravenknight4876]

@@caladamson7281 It's too short for my liking

[@nataljajurisa4679]

All of these voice actors I recognise from the Witcher, means I keep getting distracted.

[@maples9096]

i always make it a priority to watch your videos as soon as i can when i see them drop! thank you for all the time you spend putting them together and sharing them with us.

[@aeroga2383]

It's super eerie how this video perfectly points out every single problem I had with the game

[@Vernatio]

Hell yeah, new video. I really appreciate you following through with the developers/series you cover (Media Mobsters, Xenus, and now Spiders). Makes for an engaging ride from start to finish

[@spacedout1395]

Snaker, you beautiful bastard. Merry Christmas and never stop making videos, and please, make more videos on VR games, one I’d recommend is Boneworks. And remember, madness combat is one of the BEST graphic animated series.

[@Tehsnakerer]

Trust me I'm in on Boneworks, it's a very likely future vid

[@spacedout1395]

Tehsnakerer Yes, YES

[@assvibes3866]

that madness combat flash game on newgrounds back in the day ran at about 4 FPS on the school library computers but it was sick

[@cpt.straginski]

@@assvibes3866 and game still is sick, they made like non flash sequel and its look nice, check out

[@bosseyedboo1450]

@@cpt.straginski massively overrated only idiots rate the game good. play Real games not games made for idiots or kids.

[@Milkbutter]

You snapped at the two-hour mark lol.

[@LumosX]

Wow, sounds like the ending actually pissed you off. Great work as always, snake-man, and a wonderfully detailed look at something I had no intention of playing. Thanks.

[@jadewedge6082]

"But he does not look like he was a fight..." *Petrus, streaking through the air at mach 5, hits the floor with nary a scratch on him.* "That is unlikely..." God. That was perfect, Snake.

[@acetrigger1337]

"FIGHT WITH HONOR!" **gets point-blanked by a flintlock pistol** this game is inconsistent already. lol

[@hiddenshadow2105]

You pinpointed very precisely about the nature of Spiders' games - the worlds are interesting, the stories have a lot of potential, and each world has a few quirky details (such as virtue names, Earth being shattered, etc) but games never use anything they have to even half potential and end up, tantalizingly, being on an edge of interesting, but never able to reach it. Also thank you for remembering Mr BTongue's videos.

[@silleylilley7423]

I wrote a fairly negative review for this game a few days after it came out and I got a lot of people telling me how I'm wrong, it's really nice to see a video like this highlighting the same issues I had with it in a much more structured way.

[@caprikoziol4150]

Barely played past the prologue myself, and my experience neatly aligns with your expose here. I see I didn't miss much after all... Really enjoyed and appreciate this video for your insights, sharp humor and, frankly, compelling storytelling while dumping all over the canyons of squandered potential. You've got yourself a new sub!

[@thatbrowncoatedwhovian4564]

The coin guard seem to me based on Italian mercenary companies but it’s weird that they’re employed by both sides, historically mercenary companies like that would accept bribes from both sides in a conflict to NOT fight, seems like the coin guard is taking both 100% of the risk and 100% of the profit when it would be easier to just join one side, demand payment from the other to not fight, and then just taking the money from both.

[@dragonforks93]

I enjoyed my time with Greedfall, I liked the setting and the ideas, but I can't deny that the game had issues and this video opened my eyes to a lot of issues I didn't notice while playing. Here's hoping they learn their lesson for the sequel.

[@justincarnes1656]

I really liked the game, up till I tried to get to know my companions. They were flat. A lot of interesting lore, mythology, and internal and external conflict that would make a great story should they ever really try. Fun game-play loop. Nice looking environments. (possible spoilers) One faction got on my bad side early in because a dude straight up murdered a native in the middle of the street because 'religion'. I took every chance I got for the rest of the game to dismantle that religion. Another faction used me to kill a rival. I saved the rival (not sure if he could have even died) and made a mental note to poison the dude's food later. In the late game, I found out that yet another faction was doing human experimentation, so I killed everyone there and put a bullet in the lead researcher's brain. I will never claim to play good people. I will play moral people. Felt like they were shoving environmentalism in my face and playing on the "noble savage" trope the entire time.

[@ClaireAgincourt]

Seriously, i replay that line of, "There goes our aspiring legate, wearing the robes of that man he just killed." over and over, and it just cracks me up. xD

[@planescaped]

The "lore" in Greedfall does a lot of things right, but it also failed on the very basics of being believable and making logical sense. It's the type of world building I'd expect out of an amateur writer. There's raw talent on display, but a lack of experience or perhaps just focus to properly implement it.

[@lukevankleef4245]

1:36:36 So wait, if you take your time and do the bonus objectives first, you're still in time to catch him. But if you skip the bonus objectives and rush straight for him, you're too late and he has fled? That makes no god damn sense!

[@japkoslav]

29:50 I just realized she it the same vioce actress that voiced half of the frikin Skyrim :D

[@XyTeRx]

it is unfortunate that people like you, AesirAesthetics, and Whitelight don't get the recognition y'all deserve. Effort like this should be acknowledge, unlike those 10 min videos that doesn't say much about a game or the mechanics of em.

[@ZCid47]

Super late commentary but i didn't read a answer in the comments. The reason of why the coin guard is so prominent is almost sure to make reference to the fact that during the Renaissance (the time period that clearly influence a lot of the art style and word of the game) the Italian states and cities would fight using mercenaries (usually where private army's)

[@morningnapalm9963]

"Fight with honor!" *Immediately follows with a gunshot to the face Beautiful

[@timothymclean]

1:34:10: To be fair to Greedfall, something like half a dozen Roman emperors ascended to the throne that way. It's probably the most common way for one to be crowned after ordinary succession. To be fair to Greedfall in the other direction, this is because of specific Roman traditions. The Coinguard might resort to Klingon promotions in times of crisis, but this isn't a Coinguard colony, it's a _Congregation of Merchants_ colony, and they _definitely_ aren't as war-loving as the Romans.

[@Tehsnakerer]

I am well aware nowadays that my comments on the coin guard were fairly naive.

[@Perzyn]

I enjoyed Greedfall well enough, while acknowledging that it is a deeply flawed game. Lots of complaints raised up in the video I shared, even if perhaps to a slightly lesser degree, during my single play through. The big thing that helped me bear with the pacing and tedium of some side quests (the logging camp/mining one given as an example is possibly the most ridiculous) is that I am a sucker for flintlock fantasy settings as well as colonial imperialism. And the veener of those offset some of the problems with the game that the video mentions. I also appreciate the potential some of ideas displayed had, even if they lacked followthrough - making Talens meaningful for getting alternative solutions and more use of the whole faction uniform mechanic could have improved greatly upon the game. In the end I still like Greedfall, but that does not mean it is a great game or even a good one. Just a one that I find enjoyable despite its many problems (the honor it shares with Dragon Age 2). I just wish we could have the "flight of fancy" version you envisioned.

[@scottgrey3337]

I clicked on this video by accident and now I’m thirty minutes in. Good work, great video

[@lcmiracle]

Maybe the Coin Guard (or whatever they are called) is kinda like the Landsknecht? They started out as an attempt to form a professional army unit in the veins of the Swiss Pikemen, raised by Maximillian I of the HRE because he couldn't hire the Swiss. However these mercenaries were unruly and often disobey orders to sack towns against orders when payment was not met. For example, the Landsknecht in Maximillian's invasion of Hungary famously refused to advance on Buda because they weren't satisfied with their pay. 6000 spaniards and 14000 Landsknecht under Emperor Charles V also mutinied to sack Rome in 1572. Due to the fact the imperial system was incapable of paying a permanent large body of professional soldiers, the Landsknecht hired themselves out to other European powers. The Black Band fought under the French King for ten years, and the Spanish and the Danes too hired their services, other monarchs of the continent likely did the same also.

[@iainball8450]

Bruh 2020 is gonna be great for you; I promise

[@bizzapandare1209]

It didn't aged well, eh?

[@iainball8450]

Marta Gilewska definitely not

[@traumatizedgermansoldier3856]

Oh boy it did not

[@weftin5721]

Time for my yearly rewatch of one of my favorite Tehsnakerer videos