Podcast #89: How to NOT let toxic people, words, or situations affect your mental health

[@yirujiwang]

1. Breath; 2. Recognize and name your emotions: e.g. I feel hurt because of xxx, and ask yourself why you are feeling this way; 3. Intentionally separating the logic behind the word with the emotion, which offers insight to what to do next; 4. Look at the words/situations, you will have some clarity of situations; 5. Work out a solution

[@vilmamunozdebadenhorst7941]

So glad to realise that this video is much slower than others, because I struggle to understand when someone speaks too fast

[@karenelaine1345]

AWESOME!!! THANK YOU, I LOVE THIS PODCAST!!! I LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT THE BREATHING!!! AMAZING HOW THIS WORKS!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP!!!

[@GennieceSledge]

Vilma, she is a VERY fast speaker! lol I have to slow the podcast to 1/2% when I listen on Apple Podcasts... maybe that can help you, too?

[@BK-qz8cm]

You can change the speed. Ask someone how to do so

[@makaylahollywood3677]

You can change the speed of speaking. Go into Settings(little machine wheel under video), change Playback Speed from normal slow, slower, .75, .05, etc. Hope that helps!

[@goddessella9056]

Agreed👍

[@garrettmeadows2273]

I have discovered just within the past two years how toxic co-workers were impacting my mental health, to the point I found myself disliking people I didn't even know. I still struggle to resist allowing toxic cow-workers to influence my thoughts, viewpoints, and relationships.

[@ruthmathibelaijustlovethis93]

Dr Leaf you are wonderful. You rescued me from slavery of wanting to please people.

[@andzani2296]

Dr. Leaf we are so proud of you here in South Africa keel shining and being a light to more people around the world.

[@douglasdecicco-vetdad]

God bless you Dr Caroline Leaf. You are a gifted doctor that has fought the system to truly help others. You are one of a kind

[@qmydee1481]

Thank you ♡ I praise God for you and your family. Such a great thing to have a neuro scientist on God's team. You truly are a wonderful healer and I bless you with all my heart. Slowly but surely I'm getting friends and family to slow down and listen to your teachings...we as people all need your knowledge to be apart of us...good soldier ma'am. Thank you for your hard work, your developed sense of understanding and sharing. Jesus saves and we help ♡ Thank you

[@Crymsie]

This was a very good podcast! I took notes and plan on focusing on changing my thought patterns to minimize the toxicity in my life. Thank you for your insight on this topic!

[@christelle1982ful]

Love the EQ in this. Naming the emotions and stripping the branches. Forgiveness has a huge power in this as well to let things go when we can't interact with the person again. To bless a person and forgive them as fast as we can. We all know how bitterness can have a toxic impact.

[@nonameno2696]

I watched this literally this morning when I woke up and then applied it to a situation that just happened last night and now i dont feel anxious and upset, I feel calm and in control. Especially after worshiping for a while.

[@majalisaavery6635]

This is the first pod cast of yours I've truly listened to, and it has given me structured steps to handle tough situations and people so I can grow, learn, and be a better person by controlling my reactions. Thank you, I'll be tuning in more often!

[@YKL-y36]

no

[@GennieceSledge]

So, did you binge? Isn't she remarkable?

[@pl-tq9py]

Thank you dr leaf for all you do.This is a really good one for me. I suffer with ptsd and when some one says or do something.Because I don’t say anything back I internalise it all then I feel guilt,Shame etc..Then when the trigger hits I self sabotage to make the trigger stop. Thank you for this has I hold onto it all and thrash around with it. Couldn’t of come at a better time...I try my best to observe but I seem to collapse in my self. Thank you for all you do ❤️

[@UrbanNoizeMusic]

Your podcasts continue to be timely and speaking to our current moments more than you realize. The Lord is truly working and I am grateful. Have learned and applied so much

[@andrewhillis2269]

Thank You Doctor Leaf You Are A Life Saver ! ! !

[@sarahdechalus4431]

Thank you Dr. Carol Leaf, find that in ones way in thought is helpful to grow in a healthy way vs the opposite … this is learning process found to use along with other help tools.

[@andzani2296]

Mama Leaf we love you so much thank you for being practical and real. You have inspired me to be become a psychologist I want to help people like you through your podcasts I was able to quite watching porn and masturbat. Thank you please make more podcasts on dealing with anger, addiction, depression and anxiety ..

[@sonial.angeles1407]

Thank you Dr Leaf. Your an awesome teacher. I shared this video with everyone in my family. Thanks once again. Let the healing begin.

[@rcz2023]

Thank You Dr. Leaf for Your teachings, everyday is an opportunity for Me to put into practice what I am learning from Your materials. I am currently reading Your book Think Learn Succeed and I go back and replay Your You Tube videos for the book club on that book. I have always struggled with mental issues and I have to say that this year I have seen improvement, I already finished Your book The Perfect You and I went through the book club You Tube videos. It takes work and discipline but it is so worth it. I just wanted to say Thank You for all Your hard work, it is helping Me get My mind healthy. God bless You and Your family always!

[@lindastanfill7522]

Dr Caroline Leaf I have been so blessed by you. And your words ❤️

[@shemekadawson6051]

Dr. Leaf this podcast and some of your other videos has really been helpful in recovery of sex trafficking we say thank you.

[@hilenisamuel8128]

This is powerful simply and easy to apply to my life, thank you Dr Leaf💖 I really needed to hear this right now🤗

[@neversaynever5366]

This is the answer to my question explained in just few minutes. There are great directions for the sensitive types battling with functional neurological symptoms. Thank you for your great work .

[@cindymurray12]

Thank you for your wisdom and sharing Warren Buffet quote. The steps are helpful. I noticed it was a tough pill to swallow and putting myself in this one “particular” person’s shoes. We have a lot of history so to humble myself and say I see how I didn’t show understanding, compassion and words of affirmation during our talk. Thanks for helping me to move forward.

[@amalokko7823]

Thank you very much for this vital information. I am grateful.

[@tcastillian9133]

Dr Caroline, I accidentally went through this process yesterday and then listened to this episode today. Wow that was pretty cool to see the play by play from the outside looking in. Im Definitely not taking credit for that one. Thank you Dr Caroline..

[@rutakilgallon4111]

Tank you very much for hope

[@Metanoia_712]

I needed these steps, and even had the opportunity to practice them today! Thank you, Dr Leaf!! 🙌🙌🙌

[@evelynmcmorran2703]

This is SO good! I’m saving this and will be sending this to others. Thank you!!

[@KJC4321]

My mother is very toxic. I'm going thru a divorce and she keeps telling me to stuck it up and deal with the abuse. She keeps telling me I am NO one without my ex !! Daily she tells me this... it really hurts

[@qmydee1481]

I pray God will bless you. My parents stuck it out (was rough some years) they made it 43 years and the blessing are too much to share. God has to be in the marriage. Three makes a stronger team....sharing with love...♡ God knows you and your husband and what's best. Can't be hurt because Mom is still teaching you and saying how she feels....my Mom was right about so many things. Knowing now only makes me understand her more back then. Pray and ask God until shows you the good path and way to go. No one knows better than God ♡

[@billion86]

God didn't call any of His children to be abused in any way, shape or form. Jesus died on the cross for that. Don't give up- Keep praaaaying!!! FOR your mother, even For your husband. God can turn things an people around. do NOT stay in am environment where your life may be in danger. God gives too many common sense but we'll ignore it. You have a team of people praying and fighting for your good- God's best. For you.

[@pottersclay77]

I am sorry you are going through this and that your mom is speaking untruths over you. You are not defined by your ex, your mom or anyone else....only by God! You are fearfully and wonderfully made 🙌

[@gabriellavictory3080]

Only you understand what you are going through. It is not Gods will that you tolerate abuse. Please seek professional counseling so you can be heard and understand what you are going through. Secondly, find a support system that is positive.

[@maplenook]

carla jeronimo go no contact. Life is short.

[@staceydelbucchia2576]

Thank you...awesome message💛🙏🤗💐

[@LeFinesseGod]

I'm late but this is perfect. Glad I found it.

[@LETMECHARMU1]

Thanks for this podcast, it was great. I really enjoy your work.

[@rcz2023]

My morning video, just what I needed, great video.

[@jacquilloyd3489]

Thank you for this wonderful and insightful podcast. How should I deal with my neighbours who gossip, mock and say mean things to their friends about me and laughing about it? I know that going to talk about the situation will only make it worse. It has been going on for 8 years

[@ponzee22]

Thank you doctor that was very helpful.

[@ellenmargrethelarsen80]

Thank you for helping me❤️

[@anonymoustiper185]

thank you Dr Leaf

[@colevandais]

Tank you for your great podcasts

[@oopssugar]

Thank you and I haven't even listened to it yet.!

[@movewithnathalie]

Thank you. Very valuable again dr Leaf

[@chrisg2163]

Brilliant...xxxx still waiting on your new book...x

[@michellekahn157]

Thank you !!! I loved this I’m meditating on this .

[@ruthmathibelaijustlovethis93]

Phenomenal. Praise the LORD.

[@AndyQ8]

Loved it I saw it twice wow

[@TiaJoy1372]

Wow this is a very amazing video... Thank you😊❤️💯

[@kathirosemazzorana377]

Much appreciated message! Can you dumb it down for kids?

[@ingenueee]

What if a friend is so toxic that against your best efforts of trying to be compassionate towards them that you just cannot take the toxicity anymore?

[@Shaunandmabelsmom]

What if you try to solve the problem and speak to the person that you need to continue a professional relationship with? And then they continue to show up in a toxic way?

[@beatricetei]

Hi Dr.Leaf could you do a podcast on ego and self esteem ?

[@TiaJoy1372]

Yes this a good one

[@kent7173]

Amazing Dr Leaf! thank you

[@nataliasolakian6717]

Thank you, Caroline!!!

[@christinebrimson7732]

How can this work on what you have spoken about? When one is married to someone with aspherges/ narcissum? Look forward to your answer

[@jobyrd8526]

Is there a written transcript of this?

[@ahfcff]

So helpful. Thank you!

[@marcanton9083]

The power of choice. I’m gonna try to visualize applying weed killer on my toxic thoughts.

[@mmoniemangodora4702]

❤️❤️❤️ This is awesome 👍

[@cardoone6091]

Thats the libra ♎ for you ;) good info

[@lisabergstromlifecoachandt3579]

Funny I happened to watch this episode because yesterday Reddit messed up my mood after I posted a promotion of your research because it changed my life. I wanted to share with others that they can have hope too because I was at such a low point so if I can heal anybody can that was my intention. However I got down voted, thrown off a subreddit and attacked. Later that evening, I did a podcast with a bunch of people who share a positive mind frame and we discussed it, some people just do not want to get better they don’t wanna hear it they want to stay sick I think you mentioned it’s an addiction. I find readdit to be very toxic because of the negativity every time I try to share something helpful I got attacked. They told me I was self promoting. I said Caroline leaf doesn’t even know I exist how am I promoting? Yep they still banned me from the site. Sorry for the grammatical errors I’m speaking into my mind.

[@happyandhealthy888]

what about food and other supplements?

[@perfectfitalterationssewin4324]

This was great information.

[@nhelcabuenas1923]

It' a good reminder to everyone..!!

[@markwallen6570]

Brilliant, thank you!

[@preeti480]

Does this mean we should be ok with taking insult. We should be ok someone keep telling us we are not doing our job. Even though you are giving days and nights to get something done.

[@deepakarya3085]

Thanks 🙏🙏

[@ComorbidityCity7]

Is it ok for Christians to practice halotropic and other types of breathing exercises?

[@sheronevans835]

Dr. Leaf I need some advice. I have a son (age 50) with cerebral palsy (brain damage at birth) and for many years now he has been showing signs of paranoia and occationally having panic attacks. For a long time I though the paranoia was just result of mean things that have been said and done to him in the past by others. But it is clear that it is more than that. And its is driving me crazy !!! I am not dealing with it well. I need to get a handle on what to do when he is having an episode. He refuses to see anyone about it and I am not all that sure I want him to myself. I don't want him being put on psych drugs. They have such bad side affects. Further more, I recently read where you reported the Pychiatric community has decided that this is the wrong thing to do anyway. That it does more damage. We just had a big argument this morning because he is thinking that someone is putting stuff on the internet about him or writing emails about him (this is usually the case but he comes up with other things as well). He wanted me to take him some place and talk about it. That is a new one. When I try to explain that I have no way of finding something like that out and it isn't happening, he gets mad and thinks I am lying to him. And then he starts accusing me of doing things...........talking about him behind his back or under my breath. I rarely say anything about what is going on with him and when I do its with my sister (who has a son of her own with problems) or a close friend. And even then I don't get into details. I really thought he was doing so much better for some time and then my daughter came to stay with us for a brief while after years of being alienated from her because of her drug addiction. And while she was here he was convinced she was doing these things to him and that she was taking or breaking his stuff.........like his computer. I am at my wits end and I can't afford counseling nor am I certain I would get the quality of counseling that is needed. I have read in articles on the subject that when they are having an episode...........don't discuss the reality of what they think is going on. Just the emotions and to be gentle with them. That if you tell them that nothing is happening it will just make it worse and then they will feel alone with their problem. I am not sure I can pull this off because he doesn't just want to talk about it, he wants me to check the internet and tell him what is going on. I can't do that? I tell him as far as I can know...........my emails or facebook page, but that is it. He doesn't believe me and accuses me of lying to him. At that point I just get angry or walk away. Nothing I say helps. Am I wrong about not putting him on medications? And does counseling even help?

[@maplenook]

Sheron Evans try Alpha-Stim.

[@samanthasmith6172]

Thanks for that one!!

[@jossettesolang1720]

❤️❤️❤️

[@happygay8240]

So good

[@YKL-y36]

no

[@YKL-y36]

i agree

[@shinydeez]

​@@YKL-y36 C

[@cherylgermaine6980]

While the content is true and powerful, that quote was not from Warren Buffett. It’s also been attributed to Bruce Lee, but both men deny having said it. The words however are still very meaningful.

[@luminousvox29]

This is some serious bs. Yes you shouldn’t let everything people say in too deep or react negatively to them. However, there’s no excuse for this bad behavior from others, and you’re basically victim blaming here. Of course it’s normal to have an internal reaction when someone crosses your boundaries. That is your alert system telling you that this person is not safe. Cut these people out of your life and never look back. And if they’re not super close to you then who cares what they say? React with kindness if you can. But don’t put up with this behavior as if it’s normal. It’s not. And you have every right to be upset when someone crosses your boundaries. It’s an internal gps, telling you to stay away.

[@YourOwnPersonalJordan]

She is not victim blaming, she is providing a way to not have a victim mentality, and to free yourself from it. Remember she has scientific evidence for ALL that she says which proves her as correct. Victim Mentality is not good for yourself or others. Telling someone to do inner reflection does NOT equal blaming a victim.

[@paimonspie8913]

She’s helping our reaction to toxic situations, not all of us are in situations where we can directly react (POC family etc) and this is just one of her methods and it has helped me the most. She never justified toxicity she just said that u are not in control of others, not that u should accept their actions

[@evanlagace2788]

Dr. Leaf, I saw you speak at a Christian conference and I’m noticing your approach to solving issues are new age and not using the Way to serve the Kingdom with your gifts. Are you aware that you have uncovered some deep layers of the enemy?