Understanding Dorsal Vagal Shutdown: Numbness and Trauma (SNB192)

[@triawillow1972]

This is the best way I've ever heard of describing my trauma due to a childhood of sexual abuse by an uncle that started at birth and went on with daily death threats until I was 13. He admitted to it but I received no help, mother fell apart and threw me out. At 13. I am now 50 and just was my mother's main nurse while she died of lung cancer for two years and all the childhood trauma has been reactivated physically. Constant disassociation. I thought helping her through her cancer and death would help me find closure yet I've been left with more unanswered questions then ever. This description has helped me quite a bit thank you

[@JustinLMFT]

You're welcome. I'm glad this was a helpful resource.

[@nathaliecontal6487]

Internal family system therapy...

[@fatuusdottore]

I am so sorry. I hope that you are ok.

[@KA-bw3wf]

Your goodness won't go to vain. I'm sure it will find a way back to you🥺

[@QarleyQuark]

Wow, this is quite a lot to live through. No wonder your body went partially offline just to survive it all! I'm hoping you're able to find relief and healing in life cuz no GP has been able to orchestrate a suitable recovery plan for my childhood abuse and chronic pain either. Best of luck and much self-love to you!

[@kahtnipp]

This happened to me after being repeatedly discarded by an emotionally terroristic covert narcissist. It took a long time to feel anything close to normal. Years later I'm still not right but I can recognize how far I've come. Remember to keep breathing and that you're worth loving. No love will ever compare to the love you can provide and offer yourself.

[@battlehymnoftheempath3610]

Been there. Look into psychedelic medicine through mindbloom and the SGB procedure - Stellate Ganglion Block. I am the daughter of a covert narcissist so I know the feeling well.

[@fatuusdottore]

@@battlehymnoftheempath3610I'm doing Spravato therapy though it has been paused for a while due to my hip surgery.

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

Sam Vaknin is a fantastic source of information on this matter. He himself has been diagnosed three different times with NPD and is the author of most of the language of the disorder. Just be aware that he has a rather "grounded" approach to things and can come off as insensitive, but he is nothing if not a narcissist of substance, so 100% give his vids a look-see.

[@kahtnipp]

@@AlastorTheNPDemon Oh I've been studying him and his research for awhile now. It absolutely blows my mind how he was able to articulate so many details about my relationship with my ex, especially with me being more BPD and her being more NPD. Thank you for the suggestion though and I highly agree that he's worth checking out and knows this subject to a mindboggling level.

[@ruthristow4584]

I'm going thru this right now. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm totally stuck in shut down mode and have been for years. I barely feel anything. I have no impulse to even move. But you're comment at least got me to write a response. So that's something.

[@jasonbest6818]

After my wife's multiple affairs, I couldn't figure out why my body kept shutting down. This explains so much. Thank you!

[@JustinLMFT]

You're extremely welcome.

[@samyy9226]

I'm going thru the same thing. I've just spent the entire day crying my eyes out uncontrollably. I don't know what to do. How can I help myself? Please share

[@ephesians6ten185]

@samyy9226 hey. I've been trying for 14 years to hold my marriage together with a woman who has had multiple affairs, spiritually, physically (she hit me in my face 2x), and emotionally abused me. I've been trying to keep "normal" for my son's sake, but there has to be an end to it. Step 1: Find a therapist that can help you deal with all your trauma and break the trauma bonds. Step 2: You will know when you get there. Just take 1 small step, find a therapist who can help you.

[@luckystone2293]

Jeeez.. I'm saying this as a woman. You should have been gone immediately after the first time it happened.

[@fatuusdottore]

I'm so sorry, bro.

[@velvetindigonight]

As I sit here in shutdown for many hours I finally understand what has been heppening for most of my life………. And it has a name. Thank you

[@JustinLMFT]

You're very welcome.

[@wolowl]

My counselor was talking to me about this yesterday. I fall into the dorsal state and have a hard time coming out because I don't feel the world or life is safe. I have a bipolar2 child who I worked to keep alive until he passed by suicide last year at 16. There were 3 years before he passed that were extra hard. I was in constant fight or flight for him. the whole world is scary. Getting out of bed is scary.

[@sharoncravenor2226]

I'm sorry you've had to carry so much pain. Please keep on this track for staying safe and becoming healthy!

[@auroraciobanu68]

@@wolowl bless your heart, very sorry for all you have been going through🙏

[@marisamartin3664]

God have mercy on you and comfort you. How awful that he chose that. God knows it is nothing you wanted or had control over..

[@katyh2599]

I’m in this state constantly, if not having meltdowns from reactions, and now I’m scared of triggers happening or any more stress/bad news, life events. I try to function, very limited, can’t hardly sleep, and it’s a horrible existence. I’m forever doing vagus nerve exercises. I’m healing from prescription medication damage and it’s so hard and traumatic. Yes being around others, even family is too much, so alone all the time. Not who I am. Thank you for talking about this and offering advice

[@JustinLMFT]

You're welcome. Honestly, I don't know what "vagal nerve exercises" are, despite all the time I spend on this stuff. I tend to recommend mindfulness-based approaches that focus on safety and connecting to the present moment. If you're interested in that angle, I often talk about it on my podcast.

[@katyh2599]

@@JustinLMFT yes it’s just gently stimulating certain areas, ears etc also that exercise that came I think from Stephen Porgrs?? I don’t know, I just try anything to calm my poor nervous system/brain that is trying y o heal but gets overwhelmed by everything….. long story why. I’m interested in anything that might promote this as feeling safe is furthest from me right now, the present moment is awful, but I do understand mindfulness is supposed to help. Thank you for reading and responding to my comment.

[@amazingjane2703]

@@katyh2599 try medical cbd for ADD/trauma/nerves. My flatmate just started on it and she said she feels better.

[@MelModica]

I totally relate, I can barely socialize and it’s just exhausting. I

[@HS-1828]

@@katyh2599 benzodiazepine or antidepressant withdrawal is horrific and protracted I hope you are better.

[@tulinbeyduz920]

i feel like i’m just moving through life and can’t feel a lot . life feels like a lot of hard work

[@TheDiligentSoul]

@@tulinbeyduz920 I'm so sorry. I hear you...

[@jackieconnolly328]

I’ve never heard of this before I just happened upon it Would explain my dreamlike existence…slow mo ,cut off from everyone,no appetite,closed curtains,need to sleep,sleep and sleep some more.can’t be bothered to speak anymore….no desire or energy to do anything,just float through the day if not sleeping,feeling physically unwell and weak …..I’m glad people are leaving me alone.

[@soniaprovard8259]

I feel all of the symptoms you have described. I also just found this site & feel a sense of relief that I can learn different tools to help me pull out of this low mode of living. Sending my thoughts of health & wellness to everyone here! Thank you, Justin!

[@LVAngelradio]

Yes I feel like I'm in a dream!! I can't access my memories or thoughts. It's all so hazy and impossible

[@briannalee174]

I've been in shutdown for almost four years, barely coming out of it now, it is so bizarre. Don't fully understand how I'm still alive, but our bodies are incredible that's for sure

[@HeartOfTheSource]

Thank you!!! My doctors called this" psychosis" as they proceeded to lock me up on a psych ward for a week... multiple times! 👀 I was disociated for valid causes, survival mode....NOT crazy but now I think I am. Systematically and insidiously ABUSED!!! Where was/IS the real help for people like us?#IAMASurvivor

[@Robertsmith-un5cu]

Psychedelics are your best bet for healing. Look into it.

[@ThimbleFox350]

@@Robertsmith-un5cu My ex was involved in that research and he did a lot of that type of "healing". Now he has no sense of identity and dresses very strangely. He got *angry* with me when I just said to him that I didn't want to do LSD on that night and I wasn't ready for that kind of experience. After the MDMA research organization he was working with realized the drugs had taken a heavy toll and changed him, they kicked him to the curb! Needless to say I don't believe in that bullshite.

[@RustyShakleford1]

How did they somehow tell you were in a psychosis instead of a trauma response? Were you catatonic or self harming I wish you healing and love I care about you

[@RustyShakleford1]

I was diagnosed as delusional because I was treating myself for a tooth infection with my own antibiotics because I was too afraid to ask for help because of my childhood trauma

[@maddi628]

You're not alone...

[@Melissa-iv9ix]

I was shunned by my community after realizing I no longer believed in Jehovah’s Witness teachings-especially disfellowshipping and shunning. My friends and spouse viewed me as an apostate and a threat to their spirituality. I changed my mind because both of my parents had committed suicide and I felt that shunning and disfellowshipping played a major role in their situation as well. Losing all of my friends at once and my marriage has been so debilitating. I have major abandonment issues and I can barely function

[@larsonanne]

Have you joined any of the Facebook pages or KZbin channels about leaving the jw's? I have never been one, but have been interested in following the departure process and the KZbin comment sections are full of supportive people who have gone through the same thing and suggest resources to help heal. Reddit is another resource for support.

[@lindam4259]

Bryan Johnson, the longevity guy whose videos are here on KZbin, said he experienced similar losses afer he left his religion (I think Mormon). Good luck!

[@missj2045]

Shunning is abuse. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[@tulinbeyduz920]

happy to chat to you i’m a single mom to a 9 year old and live in australia .. please reach out .. don’t give up

[@zippagraphics]

Wow! It’s them, not you. I hope you can heal and find a way to speak out against this practice. You are needed!!!

[@lisawanderess]

Yep that’s where I’m at right now 😢 At first I cried and cried and cried when my truck broke down as I am already homeless and can’t afford to fix it and then the other day when my caravan home was badly damaged while being towed by the tow truck, I couldn’t even process the grief anymore and have no more energy to even cry anymore and just feel nothing anymore, completely numb and just want to sleep constantly.

[@JustinLMFT]

Sounds awwful. I think anyone would be in shutdown after all that.

[@genatackett2437]

Bless you. Hope things are getting better. Will say a prayer for you.

[@rebeccamartin2399]

I am so sorry. I have been there. Did nothing but sleep and eat for 18 months. Not even sure how I got out of it. Saying healing prayer for you. I'm not really religious but seriously may God bless you.💜

[@lisawanderess]

@@rebeccamartin2399 thank you! 🙏

[@lisawanderess]

@genatackett2437 thank you 😊

[@charlenewallmark1187]

I can’t even begin to thank you and your patients for helping elaborate my life experience. I’m 58..in this last 5 months I have had multiple acute episodes of grief, on top of chronic emotional stress. I feel like I’m drowning right now…I can’t get to the surface and get a breath. I’m exhausted.

[@JustinLMFT]

You're welcome. I hope my other content is helpful for you as well.

[@VienasNuoKito]

this comment section is so validating and at the same time makes me feel a lot less alone with my years long struggles. sending love to everyone here ❤

[@oreas1372]

♥️

[@martinsapsitis4292]

If I'm about to be eaten, a shutdown state is less traumatic than being witness to being devoured. This state can be correlated with being predated upon by a pathological parent, where shutdown is useful.

[@kimberlysteph3877]

At 5 years old I experienced a supernatural trauma, something not of this world, realm, I was so terrified my soul left my body, i could see myself from above in the tree line. Then my soul shot back down inro my body, and I found myself fighting for my life. Terrified, fozen, untill i got up enough courage to run, and hide from it. I never recovered. No one till this day can seem to help me.

[@AJManol]

GEEZ! 😨

[@natalielockwood5840]

Have you heard of soul retrieval shamanic healing? One session is not necessarily enough, but it can be depending on the person. I do not know a lot about it but it has helped friends of mine to heal parts of their soul that fragmented due to traumatic experiences.

[@mgn1621]

Somatic Experiencing with a trauma therapist could help.

[@orchidflower177]

God can help you. I believe you. Pray for healing 🙏

[@sandtx4913]

I had a similar experience the past few years. First time was during sleep I had sleep paralysis and could see myself lying in bed asleep with something hovering above me. It scared the s**t out of me (I've had more of those since). The second time was at a therapy session and the therapist triggered me and my soul just left my body and I was watching myself sitting in the chair. It freaked me out. I can't imagine what it must be like to experience it at such a young age. I do hope that at that time someone was there to at least comfort you. I've been doing somatic excercises (Laban/Bartenief, Feldenkrais and such) lately to help me (re)connect with my body. Hope you find what helps you in your healing.

[@mindy1230]

I would also call it a catatonic state, where you are staring into space but not seeing. You are moving through a fog. Like automatically one foot in front of the other, like putting on pants one leg at a time. I have been in this state in the past.

[@muzikelektronik]

Hi! Yes, me too. From 2017 till 2023 it was bad especially till 2020, then it started to get better here and there and now I have more 'good' days than bad but it does still happen and lasts about a good week of pure apathy. I used to think it was severe depression, but my dépression was over. I am diagnosed with trauma and chronic stress since 2012/2013 and try to medicate it away... I thought it was one stage before being catatonic, that's what it felt like. I have been put on psychostimulants and they do help I must say but it's a drastic measure. Although I am just happy that something got me out of that state... like years have past in a blink and all I remember is being inside, lying down, sleeping, staring and worrying what the h was wrong with me...

[@muzikelektronik]

I recall having to think about in what order I needed to go the bathroom or brush my teeth, I couldn't even get dressed myself anymore. Luckily I have a very close friend who took care of me, like grocery's and meals and some cleaning ... I do not have a steady routine yet but I can do everything myself again like cleaning and administration etc. I do have my sense for order and arrangement back, my social life will be a biggie to rebuild as well as work, in future 🤞🙏👍

[@CandanceIsMyName]

I love the suggestion of creating a happy safe room with optimized ambience. I've needed to paint my bedroom for a while. This idea can help me take it to another level. As a child I ended up right on the edge between freeze and shutdown. I've been there every day since for 35 years. After decades of uselessly fighting my body to be more active, my healing journey finally improved when I let myself stop. Resting and meditating in an optimized spa-like bedroom sounds amazing. Thank you!

[@DickyGreenleaf1978]

Thank for your comment. Very helpful

[@michelemurphy3541]

Try putting a red light in a small lamp with a timer to turn on in evenings along with a strand of the tiny twinkle lights in a glass dome for ambient lighting. The lighting can be very healing for our brains. ❤

[@znowicotton5176]

Five years of memories gone from this

[@sincerefaithfulness]

Thank you so much, Justin. This video makes me feel truly validated. Childhood attachment trauma is a real thing. For those who experience secure attachment during their childhood, they don’t have a single clue how traumatizing it was. They think we who suffer shutdown are making this up. But your video explains it all. Thank you so much for what you contribute to this world. You and Sarah Baldwin are the light in the tunnel for me.

[@JustinLMFT]

You're very welcome. Thanks for the lovely comment, I needed some positivity right now!

[@SarahElise-so3sy]

I was in dorsal vagal shutdown earlier this year. I couldnt figure out why or what the heck was wrong with me. It wasnt until a good friend told me that what i was experiencing was abuse from my family. I couldnt recognise it, as i had been raised in an abusive family dynamic. Soon enough, i left and cut all ties. Im out of dorsal vagal shutdown, but currently stuck in mostly freeze/fawn mode

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad to hear you're working your way up your Polyvagal ladder. Thanks for leaving a comment!

[@melaniekehaya2868]

Thank you. Just randomly saw this on KZbin. Been like this since December when mum died who I used to care for full time for years with no help or break. She had complex needs . She had an awful death that it traumatised me. I’m 58 and my siblings have been brutal even when mums body was still laying there to be collected. They want me out of the house which is my home also so they can sell it and get their share of the proceeds asap. I will get my share but it’s nowhere near enough for me to buy even a tiny studio once it’s split. I’ve been traumatised about mums death, how she died, losing my home soon and how awful my siblings have been and being to me. I went from having a dangerous heartbeat for 3 weeks after she died I thought I was going to have a heart attack or stroke and called the GP. This then turned to depression and me completely shutting the world out and not being able to deal being around anyone. Luckily the benefit place has okayed I’m not well enough able to work at least. I’m now in a rush to come out of it as am going to be homeless soon one way or another and the thought of being around people still scares me. Not sure where to go from here but it’s good to hear that this is a pretty normal reaction. I feel as though I’m dealing with multiple traumas. My siblings really have no sympathy or compassion and just makes things worse for me thinking I’m just being lazy not working the last few months but I’ve been traumatised and still am with everything. At least this has a name and I can go about how to try improving my mental health now.

[@marisamartin3664]

Caring for a dying or disabled person is horrifically hard work 24/7! Your siblings didn't do it because they know in their hearts how hard you worked. Blessings.

[@truerosie]

Thank you so much for this Justin. I too have spent much of my life in shutdown, and not knowing what it was, have spent a small fortune trying to get unstuck. I'm so glad science has caught up with trauma at last. Thank you for clarifying shades of grey, and your very helpful suggestions. New subscriber, appreciate you.

[@JustinLMFT]

You're very welcome, thanks for the comment and the sub!

[@000-l3g]

Dude, i feel like i spent decades in shut down mode, its so sad..

[@TherapyinaNutshell]

Hey Justin! Great video! So helpful! time to invest in a teleprompter, (I built my first one for $10) but you just use an ipad, promptsmart pro, and a a teleprompter), then you can make eye contact with your audience. I write out all my videos and read them off the prompter.

[@JustinLMFT]

Thanks for the recommendation. I recorded this back when I considered my podcast audio first, but that's changed. I now look at the camera :)

[@emmahank]

@@JustinLMFT awesome, sorry to pile on in the comments- I should have read through them first. Great videos!

[@Wayfarer889]

This really helps me understand why i stayed with a man who raped me 6 months into our relationship when we had just moved in together. I froze in the midst of it, but then i ended up in a shutdown state that made it impossible to get out. Growing up in an abusive home laid the groundwork. I am finally preparing to leave after years of repressing my trauma and enduring repeated sexual coercion for way too long. I am trying to get therapy. On a 3 month wait list. But i am going to get to a place where i feel safe. I will not give up.

[@TheDiligentSoul]

Unfortunately, you're the only one who can... it's the position victims end up in. Ask me how I know... but there are safe people on the outside. You deserve the chance to heal.

[@Empressjen]

I don’t want to affect my 5 year old with my trauma responses. I’m starting therapy one on one. I’m a healer but I need healing professionally. My d daughter deserves a childhood I never had and I deserve to be happy and free

[@JKThom-59]

As a child of cptsd, I spent every summer sitting in the dark watching TV. I still do, to this day, and have wondered what it's about. Was I paralyzed with trauma (yes), and was that why I was stuck on the couch with this dorsal vagal response?😮

[@Pukeyray]

I think this is something I deal with but never heard of it. Thing is I run into lots of bullying and when I go to some emotionally immature family for help, I get attacked and blamed. I recently went through something bad and when I went to my family, they really brought back lots of behavior that have caused me tons of damage. I was attacked while in college and had to drop out being I couldn't get myself to function. I think a big part is that those I go to for help cause more harm being their own issues. I think I'm in shutdown now and am trying to get myself out before I slide too far. I was even thinking about making this a part of my studies, thanks. Brilliant work

[@JustinLMFT]

You're welcome, I hope you find what you're looking for.

[@lesleymcmillan1893]

Thank you algorithm for bringing me here ❤

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad it brought you here too!

[@AyniArkana-st6bk]

One safety environment f.i. is a clean room.

[@klanderkal]

I made a foolish mistake and retired from my career job I really loved. I couldn't handle what i did. Stress was SO bad, i got insomnia!, anxiety... and depression. I don't do or go anywhere. I fear this condition now,.. im stuck with no interests.

[@klanderkal]

@danskdna8550 Yes.... I haven't been the same. I feel very regretful, and upset. I had changed my mind... and wasn't going to retire. But, the company said, ... If I wanted to---- I could burn my sick leave. I took advantage of what I thought was a free vacation. I was accidentally giving the wrong return date.,... and was retired. I went to return... and found out. I totally lost it.... I wanted to return SO badly. I went into a panic mode. I got insomnia. Couldn't sleep for 5 days... then the panic attacks led to depression. Not enjoying life anymore.

[@jackiegilbert5824]

Just listening to your calm voice brings a feeling of safety.

[@rebeccablankenship4710]

You explained this so well, thank you. It perfectly describes what I’ve experienced but didn’t quite understand. I’ve been doing jiu jitsu for several months and it has been incredibly healing for me. It feels like I’m beginning to take back ownership of my body after being in a shutdown/dissociated state due to trauma for a very long time. Jiu jitsu forces me to go into fight or flight mode in a safe and controlled environment.

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad you enjoyed it. Good luck on your journey!

[@Monipenny1000]

That reminded me of the one time I attended a ju-jitsu class years ago. I didn't realize at the time the impact it was making to my nervous system. Though I did feel a sense of empowerment having learned a few strategic maneuvers to escape being pinned down. Afterwards, feeling a strong sense that girls, boys and women, all should learn this self defense style to effectively prevent rape and protect themselves. Unfortunately incest takes on a whole different form where no black belt protects children from it. It's boundaries and parental protection at all cost, no matter what, and the sense of safety and protection from them when/if it arises. I hate what parents do to their children when we run to them for shelter and protection. Those parents are a whole different breed, I can't wrap my head around. Though I had a positive experience with the one-time class, I haven't persued it, and my husband teaches it. lol In 2014 he was the coach for the US team to the Championships in Paris.

[@danielstock6639]

Thank you, maybe learning English was the best investment in myself ever. I think you just started my healing process through your calm explanation of my misery.

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad you enjoyed it, best of luck!

[@FunLifeTransform]

I’m going through it now. I have so many things to do. I’m on the verge of losing my house. I haven’t worked since February. And all I can do is cry and I’m in a freeze state

[@michaelk622]

Great video…I really relate to the trauma of lack of attachment due to incompetent parenting.

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad you liked it. Thanks for leaving a comment!

[@butchncasey]

Interesting, thanks for sharing. I'm a shamanic practitioner and this reminds me of some of the work we do in shamanism too.

[@AussieTruthSeeker]

Thank you. This explained exactly what I've been experiencing for over 10years. My new therapist has insight into the Dorsal Vagal Shutdown, and mentioned that she thinks that's what I'm experiencing. Which is why I'm here watching your video. I feel hopeful.

[@JustinLMFT]

You're very welcome.

[@ianmacrae5696]

Very helpful Justin. I had your video passed on to me by my counsellor. I was doing some amends and realized my clinical depression of 2016 had not been fully processed, and I still had fear over this event. So with you putting it into evolutionary terms I found this quite helpful. I was interested in your ‘coming out’ suggestions too. For me, aside from a safe environment, rest, diet, and natural light, I found full body scan meditations provided me with relief. Thanks again, great video and presentation.

[@JustinLMFT]

You’re welcome. Thank your counselor for me if you don’t mind. 😊🙏

[@ianmacrae5696]

@@JustinLMFT I have done that, thanks again!

[@jeanetteschauerman908]

This happened to me earlier this year when l was in hospital seriously ill with covid pneumonia.l nearly died,and my suffering was so great that l deliberately and instinctively knew what to do.Somehow,l knew that to escape the stress for a while ,l had to remove myself to another place.l did this by slowing everything down,my breathing,heart rate,thinking,until l actually went somewhere else.When this happened,apparently the nursing staff thought l had taken a turn for the worse and was possibly dying.l was moved into a single room to be looked after,during this time l was not aware of what was going on,and a few hours later l gradually returned to awareness,realising that l was in a different room.The nurse told me that l had been wide awake,my eyes wide open, but completely out of it.l have absolutely no memory of what happened while l was elsewhere,but this was deliberate on my part,because l had thought that if l didn't do this,then l would likely die. I have never heard of this before,but had sometimes practiced disassociation,or disconnection,in times of stress.l told my family and doctor about this,the power of the mind is incredible,and l am glad that l now have a scientific explanation to back up what happened to me.

[@angel101025]

A friend of mine has not left her bed in over a year, doesn’t socialise with anyone ,only talks over the phone ,and not that often… Her family member,was arrested and her home raided by armed police ,just before all this started.. she says, she just can’t get out of the bed ,every day she says, she tries… I’m just wondering could she be dealing with shut down.. I honestly don’t know how to help and it’s over a year now🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Saritabanana]

You have a very warm calming voice. So glad I found your channel

[@JustinLMFT]

That means so much, thank you for the kind words!

[@miss.understood1]

Well, this explains and me to myself a bit more.. meditation does do the job.. with my state i can relt on guided mediations or relaxations..but if your super sensitive like me fussy on voice choice and sounds and levels of soundtrack to voiceover .. it can ve hell. Lighting and sound can change everything for me! Amazing dimmable lighting.. colour changing portable lights keep me calm sane and safe.. I've been looking into NLP techniques more and more and this is all coming together and i think that this year i will fix and sharp myslef up more than i realise - thanks to people like You - grateful and glad to find you today. 💙🌎💜

[@CLJlovesmal]

I only found this term a fww days ago. This has been an issue for 5 years now, its why i was let go from my job and put on disability. After a lifetime of constant traumas, chronic illnesses and never being allowed to heal brought me to the point of any trigger causing me to collapse. Very thankful for this video and i am trying to learn more about this so i can get better. One of my last therapists had just said "let's just ackthat this happens" when i asked how we could try getting me to a state of a less intense response to any little trigger.

[@ldmatheson]

Try Irene Lyon

[@emma-om4uf]

@@CLJlovesmal may i ask what happened since then? did you find anything that helped you calm down?

[@CLJlovesmal]

@@emma-om4uf a lot more shit and trauma. But exploring neuroscience on my own, finding KZbin channels that discuss trauma and the nervous system (I have an incomplete nervous system due to prematurity so my system is already taxed). Looking into ADHD/autism/trauma response tricks to help what I now understand is dysregulation. I now have fidget bags i take with me to soothe my system more than just music through headphones. I still have "episodes", but I also.... finally... after more trauma...think I'm getting providers....to actually *listen*. They have to look at my whole medical picture, not just their specialty. I'm attempting to create music playlists to help me get re-regulated as dance and music have always helped me feel better. Allowing myself transition time and pushing to get an actual timeframe from people so I can plan my day and get other things done.

[@lizpym5326]

Amazing! I've had no idea about this 'state'. This explains the effects my work colleagues have had on me! Counsellors misusing their power! Who would have thought! Good to know there is recovery and empowerment with knowledge in spotting it if it happens again and to know what to do. Thank you 🌸

[@JustinLMFT]

You’re welcome!

[@lifidilin]

Stuck not broken - I need this my t-shirt, haha! 😅 Thank you Justin. I can't put to words how many times I've heard I'm lazy. Well... Now I know what I now and I'm so thankful for that knowledge. One tiny step at a time, we are safe, we can regulate our bodies 💖

[@JustinLMFT]

You got it. (Shirts will come some day!)

[@MollyMcBooter]

Been feeling this for years now. Tried to raise a severely autistic child with an emotionally abusive spouse, put me in the mental ward 8 days, diagnosed MDD and PTSD. I don’t have the heart palpitations every day since I left child’s dad but raising him on my own with very little help is pretty much killing me. Been going to docs thinking I have cancer but its just stress literally ripping my nerves apart.

[@lindam4259]

I hope you can find some resources to help you with your son. AND I hope you can get some much needed rest and relaxation at times.

[@drsandhyathumsikumar4479]

Very helpful that clarified freeze with sympathetic activity vs dorsal vagal shutdown

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad it was helpful!

[@TrentGoss-f3h]

You explained it way better than I could.

[@snic5805]

Can you have a lot of physical sensations too? I am disconnected to myself and the world but also have extreme fatigue, heaviness in my body, headaches. If I push myself to do anything it all gets worse and I have an immense instinct to go back to my bed and shut the door. Is this shutdown?

[@JustinLMFT]

Shutdown does often have a numbness of sensations. And I can't tell you what state you are in. My shutdown clients often describe not having energy, and wanting to be alone in bed.

[@stephaniew4168]

I feel like I'm in between freeze and shutdown...I have a chronically ill child and since 2024 arrived, I've just lost the ability to cope with her illness and my worries about it. Now the stress of my business is hitting me and dealing with all of her various issues...and worrying about how she'll live in this world when she can barely get out of bed for 6 years now.

[@vanessas2363]

That sounds horrendous, the amount of pressure. Too much. I cannot imagine how helpless you must feel with your child being so unwell. Life can be so cruel. It's so unfair.

[@stephaniew4168]

@@vanessas2363 thank you - yes life is very hard!

[@marisamartin3664]

God heal her and give you peace

[@vanessas2363]

Is my phone reading my mind? I was just thinking about this an hour ago, but i didn’t know the term. The word 'catatonic' was going around in my mind. I haven't left the house since December. I am very mentally ill. Great video. Thank you 🇬🇧

[@JustinLMFT]

you're welcome :)

[@marisamartin3664]

Force yourself to go for a walk or sit out on porch or deck. A little at a time.

[@energybengt]

My whole life it seems, I’ve been in DV shutdown. I was a forcepped baby, does make me wonder.

[@Lyrielonwind]

I was told I was suctioned out of my mother's womb but I suspect I had a twin (don't know if it was male or female) and maybe that caused my twin evisceration (me being born first and the baby having the umbilical cord pulled out). I say it because my father was an eye doctor and I found pictures of a newborn baby eviscerated. I asked my mother many times if I had a dead twin. Every time I asked that simple question which only requires a yes or not answer she said I was crazy (my mother is a malignant narcissist) and I always answered her: "forget about if I'm crazy or not, I'm just asking a question you can answer with a yes or a no". Then, she would shut her thin lips as if she was afraid some truth can come out from her mouth...I never had an answer but I know I am pointing to a truth she doesn't want to admit. Besides that picture (which doesn't fit into my father's medical speciality) I had other trace from one of my elder sisters mocking me calling me "the aborted baby" and when I asked my mother she said she had a natural abortion before and after getting pregnant of me which added to my stigmatization since birth. Maybe she promised my father never say a word but seems strange to me a malignant narcissist being loyal to anyone, even if my father was her primary source of supply.

[@energybengt]

@@Lyrielonwind 🙏♥️🙏

[@collateral7925]

Recovery from this is possible although it may not feel like it at first

[@michelemurphy3541]

I am clocking this with myself. I just went through another take down the beginning of this last week and am having a very difficult time functioning-it takes weeks for me to get out of this phase of neuro hit. *it used to take months People who are abusive want us to be in this state so they can feed on our emotions/energy. Often they will take our reaction and present it as THEIR state of emotion/emotional state which is super gross and predatory. Just my observations. I have lost everything and am filled with dread and despair. Cognitively I know this will pass and that it is a normal neuro response to the abuse. I cannot leave.

[@stardavies6202]

Namaste & Thank You very clearly emplained You are a Gift to the world Bless You and all who read this and watch your videos

[@JustinLMFT]

thanks for the kindness :)

[@brasidas33]

I’m shutdown and it’s a long road out. Appreciate the video - very helpful

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad it was helpful!

[@2rythm797]

I really like the sound of your voice and how you speak, it's soothing. I'm watching this as I got triggered and I find it easy and calming to just listen.

[@JustinLMFT]

Wow, thank you! Really glad my voice helps. :)

[@tnflutist]

I’ve experienced this many times.

[@HealthyThinkingsubstack]

I did this today at the bank while waiting for a solution to another bs problem. For me it’s all about energy conservation.

[@ligerleaf5426]

Thank you. Was miserable today

[@JustinLMFT]

You're welcome.

[@betsyc6055]

Great job on this from a fellow coach. Your website is also so well done.

[@JustinLMFT]

Thank you! I'm overhauling the site now and about to relaunch it. :)

[@nfinitedestiny1111]

This sounds like what I went through during a dark night of the Soul.

[@LT2471]

Thank you This message was very helpful 💜🙏

[@JustinLMFT]

You are so welcome

[@jamesmcdow945]

Very Good info, I've had this response since I was 7 yrs. Old Balled into a fetal position for days. I'm 58 now, I've done ok but I am very severe. Your info about experiences and your knowledge was very helpful. Says alot since the subject is so misuderstood, and undiagnosed.

[@JustinLMFT]

Really glad you like the video, thanks for watching and for the comment.

[@TrentGoss-f3h]

lol planning on getting a stellate ganglion block procedure. I will need CBT afterwards. Thanks for the education.

[@tiadobi6932]

Thank you for this superbly produced caring video. The pacing and insights are terrific. I've been studying trauma for years especially freeze state. I look forward to learning more from you as this is my first episode on your channel. Your gentle style is appreciated as is the turtle and shell analogy. I'm starting to glimpse a flicker of light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for that Justin. 💕🎶😉⛱️

[@JustinLMFT]

You're so welcome, thank you for leaving a comment and sharing your thoughts!

[@tikster67]

Yes! When my daughter cut me off contact to my grandchildren. I kept feeling like i want sure if i was here or if i was dreaming. I was afraid to go to the toilet because i thought i might wet the bed!!!

[@dmgsoultogetherness6667]

sounds like i went through something similar last week,just some shock news type thing,couled with my underlying mdd/anxiety disorder,felt like an instant depressive episode,so i went to basic living,sat in low light room next to heater,comfort ate,all sensory minimal levels,mindfulness,reached out for help,cried,the low mood,lethargy mixed with the high anxiety catastrophising panic is hard to shift.but im trying to self soothe,take back what i can control,and think in a minimal straight line.

[@fifiearthwanderer]

Is this the same as when you try to keep the emotions down because they are too scary or not the right time for them to come up? I feel like it became a maladaptive coping skill for me to manage anxiety and fears and now i unconsciously just tighten up when the fight flight energy comes. So its like the foot on the brake and the pedal. It gives me so much anxiety because i feel so dysfunctional and dysregulated. And the freeze is so tight and doesnt let the fight flight go out. Takes me hours or days to regulate.

[@JustinLMFT]

"Freeze" and "shutdown" are different. Freeze is the brake and the gas on at the same time. Shutdown is like the car isn't even starting.

[@fifiearthwanderer]

@@JustinLMFT any tips for changing the freeze behavior?

[@sarajhonson9963]

⁠@@JustinLMFT Is it common to go from Freeze to Shutdown?

[@marcushuffman5262]

So this crazy… now I know why I have depersonalization/Derealizaton not just from anxiety and panic attacks but THIS! I just looked it up and it literally said this was the main cause! Now on how to treat it idk. But everyone and I mean everyone is telling me to do acupuncture is this correct? Thank you very much! ❤

[@JustinLMFT]

I really can't speak to the efficacy of accupunture and shutdown. I did create this though - kzbin.info/www/bejne/gp2oeYiCesuMntU

[@tabithashayla]

Wow now i know what im going through.😢

[@System.error84]

Now i know is the name of this. My psiquiatrist never talked to me about this.

[@tinaramos6913]

Can chronic fatigue actually be a form of dorsal vagal shutdown? Secondly, can you get a diagnosis for dorsal vagal shutdown? Thank you

[@JustinLMFT]

Through the Polyvagal Theory lens, chronic fatigue could be a result of shutdown. And no, dorsal vagal shutdown is not a diagnosis, but it may result in medical issues.

[@sankarN84]

Great question. Based on the numerous recovery stories of people recovering from chronic fatigue syndrome via meditation, breathing etc I strongly think that CFS is a dorsal shut down/freeze. @JustinLMFT: would be great to hear what you think. Thanks.

[@mattie7965]

What about Caregiver burnout doing Palliative care then going through Grief

[@olivermakower2479]

I think I was potentially in Dorsal vagal shutdown for 17 years. I can assure you, If I am right, eating and phone scrolling is not the most of my concerns when I may be regaining my fight/flight energy. How to respect peoples boundaries with this seemingly enormous wave is my biggest concern. The last time it happened, it probably developed a bout of psychosis leading to my hospitalisation and resignation from work. I lost a character reference, which means difficulty rejoining the work place, I am now volunteering and am managing slowly to get into reading and gym, but as I make concious decisions to improve my mental state, I am not met with favourable outcomes. I am met, by what feels like a deep anger. If I do not get it under control, I will lose the volunteer position, and really be up shits creak without a paddle. There seems to be a disjunction between potential severity of the outcomes of the Dorsal Vagal shutdown (DVS), I would assume I am at a more severe stage of it than that which leads to what sounds to me like a nice way to relax, If I am right that what I have experienced is DVS. Any tips?

[@creativeeditschar558]

My parents never understand about my life and reason. The more discussions about how bad performance and no improvement I am, that's what she said. The more not perfectly manage the house chores, and I always scolded and warned not to talk back. Neighborhood, people, friends who heard about how bad I am. I'm having this symptom until now. I'm being bullied, being laugh. I'm sorry.

[@Zayna2025]

I just heard an other Video of the dorsal state. Its saying its also possible to go directly to safety again.

[@JustinLMFT]

There's more nuance than this. Yes, it's possible to access the safety state from shutdown, but to relieve a stuck shutdown state, one needs to climb the entire Polyvagal ladder. We can have moments of safety, but the baseline of shutdown persists until the entire process of self-regulation unfolds. After fuller self-regulation, one will have an even deeper safety baseline, not just moments.

[@venuvenkatesh9595]

Thank you so much, I'm loving the content, it's very helpful. The world I perceive needs this,😍

[@JustinLMFT]

You're so welcome!

[@mariandavies9487]

Thank you so much for this information. I now understand more of what is going on for me and, more importantly, I have hope of resolving it. thank you.

[@JustinLMFT]

Excellent! Thank for watching and leaving a comment. :)

[@twylitegotbannedtwice3411]

Interesting. Thank you.

[@JustinLMFT]

Welcome!

[@froandcara]

I get disassociated in traumatic events like after a car accident when I was pregnant (not injured at all but worried about baby) and my blood pressure went so low the EMT’s said I should be dead- kept rechecking and rushed me to hospital. I think it Happened again during c section in two pregnancies after days of labor. I know it’s nothing compared to super traumatic occurrences. But clearly my body didn’t differentiate. So it’s a physiological process for sure. Would love to know ways to mitigate. ❤ *not sure if it’s the same but I’ve also had a NDE almost drowning at 2 years old and remember watching myself from above and feeling like I could breathe then cut to being rescued and coughing water like don’t remember the in between. I was scared in the bath and pools on and off for a while- just mildly but frightened something could get me. And I dissociate / panic attack when public speaking - also not sure if it’s the same

[@tinieblasabismos9859]

_18:56__ thanks Justin I will update my therapists about it, you know they got me messed up around here._

[@bluestar.8938]

Thank you : )

[@JustinLMFT]

You are welcome!

[@Rodmic-hd9pn]

I had it 2 summers ago and my daughter will never forgive me for not being around. She will never accept this as an excuse.I feel I had it for sure. U wish she look it up😢

[@a_d_s5361]

Thanks for explaining the difference between freeze and dorsal vagal. I thought they were the same thing and they are often displayed that way by many other KZbinrs, so thanks for clarifying. Is there one standout element that one could use to determine whether they are in just dorsal or the mixed freeze state?

[@JustinLMFT]

You're welcome! One element to easily determine is to look at the level/flavor of mobility and immobility. Shutdown is a collapsed immobilization. Freeze is a tense immobilization. In freeze, the muscles are tensed, heart rate is high and breathing is rapid, like a panic attack. Thanks for the comment and the question!

[@Lyrielonwind]

​@@JustinLMFT I guess I'm in dorsal vagal because sometimes I feel like I am barely breathing. I surprise myself not breathing or breathing superficially although my muscles are rigid. Thanks

[@PenelopePitstop0078]

@@Lyrielonwinddealing with same; just learned about “central sleep apnea.”

[@ashman167]

oh bloody hell, that is so me, not from sexual abuse, its from childhood stuff. Looking for how to move through it.

[@TrentGoss-f3h]

Thank you. ❤

[@ephesians6ten185]

The siituation got so bad for me that I could not even stay awake during the day. All I did was wanting to sleep. These Energy Vampires are dangerous, but not as dangerous as a person who has survived the trauma they caused us. I am in psychotherapy now, yes on pills to help eith the anxiety and depression, but they are merely crutches to help me while I am growing stronger. There is hope, just take the first step and find a therapist who specialises in trauma healing. Thats all, just start there.

[@enoch4499]

I have a strange cycle of nervous agitation/excitement (mania) which amps up until I crash, which is when I hace a mwlt down, then shut down. Hysterical, ctatonic, eventually devolving into cataplexy (limp)

[@Skyflower44]

It feels like locked in syndrom. Powerless.

[@DG-xg2zq]

Thank you so much for explaining this in a calm and easy way 😊 do you have any information regarding vagus nerve and adhd? 😊

[@JustinLMFT]

I did an episode on ADHD and PVT, but only as an audio podcast. I think it was around number 75 or so? You'll have to check the "Stuck Not Broken" podcast and hunt it down - www.justinlmft.com/podcast

[@sharon-o7v]

Very helpful, thank you

[@JustinLMFT]

Glad it was helpful!

[@ThimbleFox350]

I'm only familiar with the vagus shutdown that causes me to fall unconscious. It's happened 3 times and it usually starts with a bad stomach ache - one time it was after I hite my funny bone and then I wake up on the floor with some wicked bruises. It's too expensive to get studies done so I just deal with whatever it is. It happens so rarely anyways.

[@Lilybet1316]

Just finding this video after finding out my partner of 10 years has been having 2 affairs outside our relationship and he then left to go live in an apartment with one of the women. I feel numb then emotional pain that keeps me sobbing in bed and it’s after that where I shut down. I lay perfectly still in bed and barely breathe but I can’t sleep. I feel like my skin is trying to lift off my body - it’s been three days since I found out and I don’t want to be conscious because there are no other thoughts except for him and what happened.

[@katydid6920]

Nobody cares about my condition. When I reach out I get beat up. I dont even want to wake anymore because I cant cope with this much meanness and apathy everyday.

[@lauralauze9137]

Thank you for what you do ❤

[@JustinLMFT]

You are so welcome!

[@kristenlangdon4229]

How do you get out this??! I have dpdr from one bad drug experience a year ago, I am unable to panic, numb, losing emotions, basically everything that makes me human

[@kristenlangdon4229]

@Michelleck29 happy they worked for you but just one low dose made my life a living hell. I had an amazing life until I took weed. It is not a soft drug and I wish more people would research dpdr before trying it, because all it could take is one time and you literally loose everything about you it's insane

[@klanderkal]

​@kristenlangdon4229 hi, wanted to ask. Was it just taking a couple hits.? .... hiw long after did you realize the symptoms.?

[@kristenlangdon4229]

@@klanderkal I didn't smoke it, it was dispensary edibles, 10 mg (technically I had 2.5 one night, nothing happened, and then two nights later I had 7.5 mg). The next day after taking them, I had this horrible altered feeling inside me, like my inner perception and normal feeling of myself had shifted, it's hard to explain. I was told it would go away, so I waited two weeks and it was still there, and it was then I started realizing that I was slowly losing all the things I mentioned above. Basically since that night I have still felt high like I haven't come down, plus my brain stings the way it did when I was high, like electric currents, and there's been a few times I've gotten somatically high again, despite not touching anything again since that one time and I know the weed can't still be in my system. All I know is I was fine and having a great life before this, and now I'm suicidal everyday because of how I feel inside. It's been a year straight of this

[@klanderkal]

@@kristenlangdon4229 Wow, Thanks for replying. I'm sorry for your suffering!... that's horrible! I'm feeling similar to you..😪 It too is a long story. But, I made a big foolish mistake and was pending dismissal. My decades long career job was everything to me. My stress was unbearable. It caused insomnia... not sleeping for many day's. I lost my job,.. and had a mental breakdown. The anxiety was chronic. I ended up with Depression. So much regret and guilt.. and wishing for my life back. Anhedonia takes all feelings of pleasure, and desires. Im like a numb, emotionless zombie. Unable to do anything. I've called psychologist, VA crisis center, 988, Distress lines, Grief lines... no one can help me to snap out. Existing like this is so unbearable.. I understand the S.I. The pain is only felt by us... 🙏💔✨️

[@kacythomas1327]

Understanding Kacy cutt off I'm not shutting down and I haven't forgotten anything

[@lizmallette5189]

What happens when in shutdown the mix of ascension symptoms gets thrown into the pile? Feels like the brink of spontaneous combustion to me.🤯