Police Officers Share The Smartest Criminal They've Encountered (r/AskReddit)

[@Justin-kz9ov]

Some of these cops stories are probably the actual criminals telling the story in 3rd person to see people’s responses on their work

[@matrixarsmusicworkshop561]

Lol! Nice one

[@18aplateindoors]

Justin has to be..kinda like “JIM” 🤣🤣

[@romania-n6q]

cop phobia

[@mozartmozi7776]

Maybe

[@ThePeacePlant]

Most are people making up stories and or pretending to be cops.

[@satuhlight9945]

*The smartest criminals are the ones that you don’t know about*

[@nadurokorte9917]

@Bob Marly but we know about them

[@justanotherwhitegirla7093]

@@Redrocket120 It's called civil asset forfeiture.

[@deltapoint2610]

@Bob Marly nonono. The north Korean

[@jkm7983]

The Nigerian princess

[@AlexFlockhart]

@@justanotherwhitegirla7093 A lot of them don't even bother with that, they just spend tax dollars on things they profit from.

[@emo_rratt]

The one at walmart and dropping items in the trash is so fucking smart

[@bulldoggmailcom]

I was about to post that. That cunning as a serpent type stuff.

[@katierutter2863]

Between us, I might try it 😂 I’m so pissed I didn’t think of it myself

[@PrincessAshley972]

Is it though? Walmart doesnt keep big ticket items out in the open anymore. If they do, there's what they call spider wrap on it. These things have a big ass alarm on them and go off if its taken out of the store or tampered with

[@emo_rratt]

@@PrincessAshley972 maybe in other stores?

[@its_rns]

Yea imma try

[@connormckee3495]

Officer: So you’re from Costco Guy: Yes Officer: This doesn’t have an address, where do you live? Guy: Aisle 3

[@melmazing3993]

Officer: "Suburb?" Guy: "Cleaning Products"

[@vDorgengoa]

@@melmazing3993 Hotel? Trivago *gets arrested*

[@5000subsnovideo]

vDorgengoa lol

[@TaylorKing-wu2sr]

Just like the movie The Terminal 😂🤣

[@davepression624]

I live in old-Zealand

[@henrysegal754]

My grandpa worked at prison and once a prisoner escaped , jumped into a lake with a type of plant with a hole in it and floated down stream while breathing through the plant but he forgot about waterfalls

[@Ahayrksv123]

Niagra falls gone wrong

[@lonelyboi2560]

Drop it like it's hot

[@rrrigbyyy]

I want to reply something funny to keep the chain of funny replies going but I’m retarted af and can’t think of anything

[@maximumforce8275]

My jaw really DROPED when i read the end. I did have a FALL when laughing tho.

[@RonPaul42069]

How did your grandpa know about the plant?

[@Ryan-jl5fs]

“I’m not a cop but i am my brothers wife’s sisters boyfriends cats microwave”

[@evanislost]

What's the deal with your guys' popcorn button? Burns the fuck out of popcorn, doesn't seem useful for anything else? I've always wondered about it, but never had a chance to ask a microwave.

[@josieclarke8197]

Seems legit. 👍

[@itnearsme2156]

r/iamveryrandom

[@aidangreen6376]

@@itnearsme2156 r/iamcoolbecauseireferencesubredditswheninrealityitbarelyfitswiththecomment

[@typical_angel1210]

i literally snorted my water lmaoo

[@Sealdeam]

Dang the last one is a goddamn genius, but I have a hard time believing that someone so bold and reckless will just piss off to the Bahamas and retire quietly.

[@deepface7758]

That's where most criminals retire to

[@Sealdeam]

@@deepface7758 If the story is true that is one of the more likely places this mastermind went to for sure; more than doubting the end of the story I just think a person that gets into that kind of situation and decides to pull such high risk gamble as a solution probably will once again get into hot water rather than just live quietly of the dividends of the scam.

[@deepface7758]

@@Sealdeam agreed, probably resort to internet scams

[@CircusMush]

Reminds me of Le Casa De Papel

[@josedasilva273]

Who said he was retiring?

[@kbto]

Imagine that one cop is at a dinner party and telling everyone about reversed traffic lights and everyone there just stares at him

[@virn756]

He would be like *Well Fck*

[@cocomunga]

It probably happened

[@sensam6155]

if it's a dinner party in Texas, all the guests would have just thought they learned some culture said ''hot dog! those darn upside Australians sure are HEE-LARIOUS''

[@CreepersNeedHugs]

@@sensam6155 True. Same thing would have happened if it was in Florida, probably.

[@thecatfather857]

@@sensam6155 😐😐😐😐

[@josieclarke8197]

This video should be titled: “How to commit a crime”.

[@Philweasel]

Most of these have been figured out by now. Stores in particular have measures to stop all the schemes listed. The Bavarian Fire Drill will never die however. It's just human nature.

[@loljay3281]

*How to advise security*

[@kyself4100]

Josie Clarke Lol all these methods are burnt out bro

[@kush7138]

*in style*

[@craigtaylor2520]

@@kyself4100 except for the going into school to sell, if coronavirus didnt fuck everything over i wouldve re enrolled inti school and sold for my bros sister

[@horriblebadwolf]

You can say he was a smooth criminal...

[@harristengku7153]

Annie are you walking?

[@anthonytrashboat]

@@harristengku7153 it's annie are you ok

[@pablomena5343]

Sly Criminal

[@bookapillar]

@@harristengku7153 😂

[@ro-droidmemesandstuff8616]

YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY

[@brandonclarke436]

Video: "smartest criminals" Everyone: *taking notes*

[@yokito0496]

Me Jkjk

[@sdsign4229]

Shut up! You don't know me! This is for....my novel!.....

[@stephensingh4588]

@@sdsign4229 sure buddy.. proceeds to copy ur work

[@stephensingh4588]

@@sdsign4229 sure buddy.. proceeds to copy ur work

[@ratoim]

That's very Abelist of you.

[@advancedraymondology2914]

Some of these are the criminals themselves lowkey bragging.

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

Darth Sidious. He managed to create multiple political crisis to he could systematically ammass more and more power. First he used a trade dispute to become leader of the Republic. Then he orchestrated a civil war so grant himself emergancy powers all while secretly calling the shots on both sides! Finally, he used tye war to isolate the Jedi and had almost all of us murdered by own own troops and he branded the entire thing as putting down an inssurection so the public was on his side! He even manipulated a gifted Jedi's emotions so he would join him further increasing his power and reavealing all the secrets of the Jedi! Sidious truly was a genius, and evil man but a genius none the less.

[@tonym2513]

Obi-Wan Kenobi by that logic, Putin also qualifies.

[@obinoscopekenobi9450]

LMAO all us Obi Wans have a great sense of humour

[@Snooper3987]

@@obinoscopekenobi9450 facts 😂

[@davyt3081]

Obi-Wan Kenobi why do I see you everywhere

[@andrewoberg]

Obi-Wan Kenobi thank you

[@adamb89]

Back in the 90's my friend's brother would routinely steal from K-Mart. He'd walk into the back "employees only" section all confident like a man on a mission, take whatever he wanted, and walk right out the front door. It was all in his confidence and attitude. His poise and demeanor shouted "I'm supposed to be here" and nobody ever questioned him. Stereos, BB guns, you name it. It worked every time, and he never got busted.

[@Mayhzon]

This speaks of poor management and unaware employees.

[@BNails]

@@Mayhzon When I was a kid, my first job was at a K-Mart. Poor management might be an issue, but the employees aren't unaware - they're just apathetic. I remember watching someone take something, hide it under their clothes, and walk out. I just went about doing my job so I could clock out and hang out with my friends.

[@nickthestampede2160]

A lot of employees when seeing something so obvious such as walking out the front door casually, mostly just figure noone would be so bold to do a crime openly like that lol

[@narrowstone5363]

@@nickthestampede2160 Lmao i went to a Lego store with some friends on a whim, walked in & saw a set I've been looking months for. I immediately grabbed it off the shelf & went walked to the counter. Most of the store was staring at me, some employees went to block to the door, everyone chilled when my friend asked if i was really gonna drop all that money at once. Same friend held the set for me cause he was worried security would think I'm stealing it

[@Studio_Luvin]

Was he white? Lol

[@robpolaris7272]

I'm certainly wasn't proud of my daughter for this, but I respect her thinking. I had gotten divorced and my daughter was living with me. After 7 months I get a call from the school. I expect she was late, ditched class, talking in class, ect. Apparently she had been sending students into the target across the street. One would cause a distraction (screaming, panicking, fake a seizure, spill liquid and fake a fall) the 2nd person would steal while the 3rd would stand where the camera couldn't see the theft. She made sure they never took anything of large value to avoid security tags. She began selling these items at school. She gave the theives a cut of the money. As if this wasn't enough she began extending credit. When people started defaulting she started hiring "muscle" to enforce collections. I was speechless. She was 12. She got caught because a student who had not paid her back was the son of a scool district employee and they noticed a bruise on his abdomen. She made sure not to have anyone injured on the face, arms or legs so they wouldn't be visable. Thankfully she ended her criminal career there. She is finishing college and plans to go to law school.

[@cactus8643]

Holy shit

[@Detective_depther]

I'm proud of her

[@trollithink7197]

😂she is not done my friend, she wants to know the law so she doesn't get caught...

[@Detective_depther]

@@trollithink7197 "you shall know the rules if you wish to break them" -some criminal

[@draglorr5578]

That is incredibly genius. Like Holt shit. Even down to making the injuries not obvious.

[@ricekrispy4909]

Me an intellectual: Places bucket over vendors head and takes everything

[@biohazard7101]

I knew what you were talking about even before i read your name

[@hk-ex4gw]

I used to be a memer just like you but then i took an arrow in my knee

[@beastmutata]

@@biohazard7101 pss. i know who you are. hail sithus

[@susa.k.a.pinkguy2036]

😂😂😂

[@DanielBrownRS200]

So you finaly awake.

[@chickencurry420]

I heard about this one guy who used to work at Walmart and kept his vest and nametag. He would then walk into different Walmarts and go to one of the checkout lanes. He would tell the person that the supervisors wanted to see them and that he'll take over. He would finish ringing up all the customers' purchases and by the time the supervisors say "We didn't call for you, what are you talking about?" The guy had already finished the customers in line and pulled the money box out of the register and walked away

[@kevray]

What a mad lad

[@andrewlemay2491]

Genius

[@huh968]

surely they would have to have the supervisors name ready for every store to make it more believable right? and then the store that just got robbed calls the other stores and they're on the lookout for the guy that matches the description. just seems like something that would be hard to pull off believably and even if you do cant really work on multiple stores and there wouldnt be all that much cash in the register anyway

[@cunningsmile4166]

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

[@nil981]

That's honestly brilliant.

[@zackstokes508]

I knew this KZbinr once. He had been stealing reddit stories for quite some time now. He would have continued to get away with it were it not for the obscene amount of ads.

[@stayhigh66]

get adblock and stop crying

[@danvgaard5628]

@@stayhigh66 alternatively if you're a mobile user get a pi hole

[@eoinsweetman9263]

Or download the Brave browser for your phone and forget ads exist.

[@alenjameson2522]

@@eoinsweetman9263 and make a few bucks

[@oreo7259]

@@eoinsweetman9263 you sponsored?

[@Puppy_Brat]

First human to ever enter Heaven be like: "I'm early!"

[@notjudgementalsoldier5135]

L the first guy to enter hell was probably confused

[@angelaphsiao]

Abel, entering Heaven: FIRST!!

[@deepface7758]

Lol

[@jerryryans2235]

Angela Hsiao 😂hello fellow christian !!

[@eddie8990]

Judgemental Soldier Cain: Yo wtf where am I?

[@ThornMu]

Friend of mine, from his old criminal days when there were far fewer cameras: There was a major catalog box store in town that was going out of business, my friend's minion worked at the store but did not have the code to disable the alarm. They would sneak up on the roof several times a night and drip water down one of the vents until enough moved along the ceiling to set off the alarm (much like the guy in the flat next to a jewelry store in the video). Police would come, see nothing wrong. The owner would come, see nothing wrong. A couple times the cops came by during the day to check up on things. My friend dripped the water from the roof while his minion pointed out the 'leak' he spotted to the cops and his boss. They waited over a week until the owner finally turned off the alarm and called to have the 'leak' repaired. That night the minion unlocked the doors and my friend rolled up with a moving truck. They loaded it up with products. A cop came by and asked what they were doing, he'd been stationed to stay in the area and keep an eye out since the alarm was out of order. The cop saw and recognized the minion who explained that since the alarm wasn't working his boss wanted them to take some of the more valuable items up to another store that wasn't closing. They almost got away with it until the cop saw my friend who was well known for running the local grand theft auto scene (for a chopshop in Nevada). My friend was very intelligent and never got caught 'doing his business' only ever got caught on his 'for fun' crimes. My friend has served his time and turned around his life. Now my bf works in his garage and sometimes I take care of his lovely daughter. He's learned how to cope with the psychoses that had driven him to a life of crime before. It certainly wasn't for lack of money, most of the crime he committed when he was already wealthy from family. His life of crime drove him to poverty and he has built a legit life. I'm very proud of the wonderful man he has become.

[@antonkemperjr4128]

no credibility in this story

[@vegavictoria6768]

CJ prof (cop for 27 years) told me about a few cases he worked. 1: an accountant became a drug dealer in our town. He only sold to a few select people, left no evidence, and was never arrested. They all knew about him, but they could never get enough evidence or even probably cause to make an arrest, or even obtain a search warrant. They estimated that he made well over $20,000,000 in the two years that he was active, then he left town and retired. 2: a series of professional hits in a large city south of ours. Multiple high ranking businessmen went missing, and were all found in the desert, with their hands and heads removed. Only a few could be positively identified by DNA testing, but the bodies were all wearing the same clothes the businessmen had when they disappeared. No arrests were ever made, and they never even found a suspect. 3: police officer retired early, and sent my prof and every other cop from his precinct a letter saying “I am becoming a drug dealer. I have a list of each of your family members’ names, aliases, pictures, and addresses. Don’t try to find me.” Needless to say, they didn’t try very hard to find him.

[@DoomguyIsGrinningAtYou.]

All these people are saying they're here early while I'm just sitting here remembering that Epstein didn't kill himself.

[@deepface7758]

Like how you threw that in there. Should be a trend

[@ImTheBluestBird]

You are fucking funny.

[@PumpkinHoard]

The technical term is "involuntary suicide." Or "Clintoned" for short.

[@nilli111]

@@PumpkinHoard lmao yeah totally the clintons fucking idiot

[@uss-dh7909]

@@nilli111 it's always Halloween at their place. Spooky skeletons everywhere!!

[@77luchris]

my aunt was 26 and she worked in a dollar tree. these 2 dudes drilled a hole into the wall and they didnt wear gloves and tore down the store. they opened the safe and took out 5 dollars worth of pennies.

[@BackupPlans1]

That's a lot of effort for $5

[@something5550]

I feel bad for the guy who got his bike stolen must have broke his heart (Time stamp 11:31)

[@siberianstuntman3344]

Insurance payed for it tho

[@cattysplat]

Most likely rich, most likely had insurance, most likely got an upgrade, most likely happens all the time.

[@siberianstuntman3344]

@@cattysplat three way expensive where I live everyone had to have at least 1 way insurance. If its insured there is no victims. The thief gets a bike, the owner gets a new bike and the insurance pays a fraction of what it gets from you every year. 1000 dollars to a million is like a penny to a dollar.

[@tvtitlechampion3238]

@@siberianstuntman3344 and insurance jacks the rates of its clients. Somebody always pays for the crimes you express admiration for, somebody that gets nothing but a larger bill.

[@ianhall3795]

Criminal was such a great class until they added the technology patches Edit: didn't expect this comment to blow up, but thanks for the likes and replies guys!

[@marwinout]

You don't know underpowered cops until you've played on a third world country server.

[@narrenitsuwaru8052]

marwinout Yeah, but aren’t most players on those servers pretty underpowered? They don’t get very high stat growths, and they usually don’t have much money. That’s why I want to send a complaint to whoever decided a player run economy would work.

[@E2Gtube]

The cop class gets a skill called "Recklessness" in which they get to kill, and hurt anything without any backlash to them. Not many other classes get that.

[@Born2Legit]

@@E2Gtube lmao "Recklessness" I like that

[@slightlyamusedblackkidfrom9153]

@@narrenitsuwaru8052 don't forget about people playing as criminals using drugs like stimulants to gain buffs in departments like strength, reaction time, and speed..

[@thomas-rs1vb]

The crime where the guy simply goes into the garden Department and throw something away then wait for it to be put in the trash is a tactic that still being used at Walmart, Lowe's, Home Depot and so many more places. We used to do this scam at many different places especially Home Depot and Lowe's. We would use a credit card and by like a really expensive lawn mower. After you would get your receipt they would instruct you to take it to one of the loading areas so it can be loaded into your vehicle. So you would pet stores with two loading areas. You go to one loading are you show them your receipt. Right when you show them the receipt you hand it off to someone else who goes to the other loading dock or some other employee and shows them the same receipt. So now you have 2 brand new riding mowers. So after you leave having to mowers. You come back the next day and bring the mower you bought on the credit card back so your credit card is reimbursed. We would go up and down I-5 in Washington and Oregon and hit every Home Depot and every Lowe's all the way up, turn around in Oregon and do the same thing all the way back. By this time we would have about 15 riding lawn mowers that were free of charge. This would also work with any big item like air compressors, generators, anything big that you had to go to the Loading area to pick up. Also this works by just going in and buying something like a TV. You would go in by your TV and soon as you were out the door give somebody your receipt. They would go back in and grab the TV again but ask an employee to help them bring it out to their car. So the employee helps you push your TV in a cart or carry it right through the doors for you so if something were to actually happen and they caught you. It wasn't you stealing it was the employee that you had Carey the TV out. If they try to give you the shoplifting charge anyway just take it to court and even though the judge knows you're pulling a con, he has to go by the law and dismiss the charges because you had no possession of an item. it doesn't matter if you deceived an employee. that's not part of the law and you will be found not guilty. I'm not sure how well this works anymore because I stopped shooting heroin 20 years ago. but I have heard of people pulling this scam and the person who taught me this scammed hold it not more than 10 years ago.

[@zuhayrnoorally7937]

give me some advice on how u stopped heroin n plz dont give me the usual u need strong will n motivation thing

[@bmxscape]

@@zuhayrnoorally7937 stop being a pussy

[@hoodrixhbeats]

Zuhayr Noorally LMAOOO 😂😂😂😂

[@rebinregi1990]

@@zuhayrnoorally7937 are u fo real

[@zuhayrnoorally7937]

thanks for the support guys :)

[@morganman592]

I’m so smart of a criminal I haven’t even committed a crime Edit: *Yet.*

[@Nitsua_Atayha]

Hmm smart 👍

[@cheeeef]

then ur not a criminal

[@cheeeef]

dont r/wooosh

[@8r58r5]

@@cheeeef r/iamverysmart

[@theboxofficeman2710]

memester r/whooshhhh

[@therealslimshady7783]

I used to unpack toys from Walmart and then say I found them to the staff, they usually let me keep it, i was like 7-9😂

[@hk-ex4gw]

Seriously what is wrong with you

[@therealslimshady7783]

Harun Kilicer I..I was like 7

[@matrixarsmusicworkshop561]

Lol!

[@matrixarsmusicworkshop561]

Tried it with a sweet bar for 25 cents, they saw it on camera

[@therealslimshady7783]

Mateusz Franiczek oh 😂

[@rickyroughton8098]

Regarding the one who used student loans to get into a college where he proceeded to just sell drugs, that was a bad life decision but not a bad fiscal decision since that was $142k of profit. You can get a good, reliable car for ~$25k, leaving him with $117k and whatever he got for his old car (assuming he had one). If you live modestly (not getting the cheapest everything but not buying things they don't have a notable need for either) you can live on $2k/month (at least in my general area). That means that the $117k would last up to 58 months - just shy of 5 years - during which time cost of living would be covered, giving him plenty of time to kick back and figure out what direction he wanted life to go in. At the cost of 1-2 months' worth each quarter they could then go to a community college (in a different location) and get a 2-year degree with total expenditures (life and college) of 40 months or less, 20 months if he really buckled down and devoted himself to it, leaving 18-26 months - minus however long it took them to figure out their direction in life - of leeway at worst to find an entry-level job for their preferred industry that is willing to overlook what he clearly already knew how to convince others was a mistake of the past.

[@evanislost]

I did something very similar, and used the money to start a business which became successful enough to fund my actual attempt at a college education, all the way through to getting my masters. Now I have a lucrative business that does not require very much oversight at this point, while I get to persue my actual passion which is helping families who have children with moderate to extreme behavior challenges.

[@revenger211]

Or just restock and grow it the 100k into a million

[@evanislost]

@@revenger211 problem with that plan is if you want to be able to really do anything worthwhile with that money you need to obfuscate the origin of it, aka launder it, and it becomes exponentially more difficult to do that the more that you make. Making a modest sum, then ducking out of the game and using the funds to do something to make legitimate money is the smart way to go. Not that I know about any of this from personal experience, this is all just a hypothetical thought experiment. 😬

[@revenger211]

@@evanislost meh I'm just messing with ya, I don't think making money out of broken teenagers is ethical anyways. There's many ways to get rich quick, but that's not the way to go, at least for me.

[@carlosandleon]

@@evanislost what's your business?

[@YFDB669]

7:51 nah that shits easy af to catch I couldn’t count the number of times I peeled stickers off of shit and rescanned items for people in the self check out. Sometimes they’d try to throw a fit and say that the sticker was the real barcode for a power drill even though it scanned as pvc piping, but they all walked away saying they didn’t want it anymore.

[@pointless132]

That first story fell apart when he ate the "release to police" papers. How would there be only 1 copy of the damn document, especially if this already happened once?

[@Nezuk0._]

EH HEH HEH *_DEY STOOPID_*

[@trentbell8276]

He probably ate them all.

[@pointless132]

​@@trentbell8276 Yeah, thats not gonna happen. Even if the guy eats a bunch of papers, they would have protocols for such unlikely event

[@trentbell8276]

@@pointless132 True, it was the only thing that I could think of. That's excluding how there would be some computer backup (if they had one depending on the time.)

[@slightlyamusedblackkidfrom9153]

you never know humans are lazy and maybe the staff upon realizing there's no paper saying released to police maybe they just assume alright guess we just let him go

[@mylesgundgovi3789]

I’ve edited this comment and now no one will ever know why it got so many likes and comments.

[@yaboi1288]

Agreed

[@Nada-ux4we]

I think the second one counts bc they were never caught by the cops

[@blanco7726]

Read the title again

[@donglong8688]

@@blanco7726 You obviously don't get the joke. The smartest ones are those who aren't even on here, because nobody ever knew of them. Is that explanation enough for your small squirrel brain?

[@fengmainbigbrain2291]

What about Jim

[@supahhotnoodledapx1602]

*A thread made for cops* Everybody else on the thread: I’m not a cop BUUUUUTT

[@beep6010]

You’ve been hit by You’ve been struck by A smooth criminal

[@Messerschmitt_BF_109G_10]

You've been hit by You've been struck by Truck

[@fartmaster69420]

ow

[@xfuriousapex]

Back in the 80's there were 2 comic book stores in Dayton OH. I was a regular customer at both so I knew the employees. One night 2 guys broke into one of the stores through the roof. They dropped down on ropes like Tom Cruise I guess. The very next day they tried to sell the rare comics they had stolen at the only other store in the city. They got caught of course.

[@thatplanetjupiter5119]

To be honest, When Ned Kelly robbed a bank back in the day. He was pretty dang smart, he had it all planned out with his gang. Fucking smart boy, Wish he lived longer to tell his story instead of others telling it for him. But.. yet again that's what makes him interesting and the true hero he is. Rip Ned. I love you, And you were a amazing man.

[@CheeseShady]

Just remember people, the smartest of all criminals never get caught, and will never have stories about them.

[@PolishBehemoth]

Not true at all. Some people just love telling stories of what they see. Most criminals have friends at some point. Most of these stories were telling about someone else they knew.

[@ahmadanime5622]

Kira is the smartest criminal lol

[@kylegriffiths4824]

Super sage Ahmad not really because L was able to figure out it was him almost immediately, it was only because of the supernatural aspect that he wasn’t able to prove it was him immediately

[@daymi7300]

@krispy kreme you're just as weeby for recognizing that

[@daymi7300]

@krispy kreme who cares what you post. you're just as weeby for recognizing that reference. end of discussion

[@Enthuzastic]

He can fucking bomb a person lol

[@i8ted503]

Ill take a potato chip.. AND EAT IT

[@marcuccig]

“more loan then somebody should have in a life time.” me: So you haven’t played animal crossing?

[@goldenstorm1483]

Tom Nook is extremely kind with loans though, there’s no interest and you don’t have to pay it off unless if you want another loan

[@golddropper2747]

3:06 I didnt knew Lucifer uses Reddit

[@deepface7758]

Lol

[@zoemoore9401]

Who’s Lucifer?

[@eddie8990]

Zolo Nightcore the devil

[@iitsToasted]

lucifer is a show about Lucifer Morningstar, aka, the devil, its actually a really good show, its available on netflix

[@nilli111]

@@iitsToasted ... bruh Idiot

[@jodiewinnett2863]

7:51 I’m from Australia and find this really funny. You have know idea how much fun you can have in other countries like this

[@huh968]

im listening

[@cantthinkheadempty5846]

*why is no one talking about this persons name at **4:08* 😂

[@Alejandro-vn1kz]

Mr Magpie bruh that’s what I’m saying!! I’m over here looking for comments about it

[@schwammy5007]

I noticed it and got to this comment 😂

[@TannerGarcia]

Hahahahahahah

[@alexanderthegreat6682]

That has to be the bet pirate I've ever seen!

[@Seahorsie_]

Dude in the story about the jewelry store robbery at 5:40 is a great definition of someone who isn’t smart but isn’t dumb at the same time

[@deineroehre]

So some sort of part-time smart?

[@almilk1]

Me and my classmates stole a cola for no reason when we were like, 9 lol Also we weren't caught

[@PolishBehemoth]

Super smart criminals

[@ghosty8187]

Today I was sitting in the car alone playing on my phone while my mom and her boyfriend went to shop in RiteAid. when they came back they asked me “Did you see that guy?” I replied “No? What happened?” And my mom said how he had swiped everything off the shelf and put it in his bag and walked out, and said “That’s how you do it.” No one was paying attention cause they were too busy talking. Wish I saw that though.

[@schulzhardy8342]

Everyone loves slippin' Jimmy

[@whitewolfgaming5277]

S’all goodman

[@reubenkriegel7639]

I worked at Target. They had someone who would go into stores, hide behind merchandise until the store closed, then stack a bunch of boxes by the emergency exit, and someone would drive up, then they'd quickly load up the merch and drive away.

[@tillyhg1302]

That one where they tried to return something without the receipt trick was also used in oceans 8

[@nickelpasta]

I know a guy who was hiding money from the IRS, would FedEx himself packages of stacks of cash from his business. Eventually the feds found out about this and started weighing his packages full of money. Once they charged him with tax evasion, his lawyers argued that even though the feds knew the weight of the money, they couldn't prove that the packages were full of anything more than $1 bills. So he was ordered to pay his taxes, but only on 1/100th of the cash he hid from the IRS.

[@antonkemperjr4128]

stupid if you think this is plausible?

[@HighlyRegardted]

“Not a police officer but an RA in college” 😂 clearly comparable professions

[@TheButchersApron]

@4:02 friend did this a long time ago; it’s called “the razor exchange”. He did the same thing only he picked out the most expensive electric razor and returned it without the receipt - the gave him store credit for the value of the item, he bought gift cards to several restaurants and took us out to drink on Walmart’s dime. We were having fun...until the state troopers tracked us down and we were all arrested. Friend manned up and took the wrap, he didn’t get into too much trouble.

[@antonkemperjr4128]

lie because Walmart was this stupid but improve when more exposed, and how did troopers find you guys?

[@mangjyz6336]

You know when somebody does something really bad so you should feel angry at them? But then the way they did it was sort of smart

[@MrEdrftgyuji]

One I heard about - the supermarket I used to work for had these pneumatic tubes that would suck pods containing the money from the checkouts to the cash office. Idea being that no money would need to be carried by hand across the shop floor. It turned out that the pneumatic tubes traveled through the ceiling above the customer toilet. So one guy went to the toilet with a hacksaw and cut a hole in the tube. Then came back and took all of the pods that fell out into the ceiling cavity.

[@antonkemperjr4128]

science says you are wrong

[@Julesb2183]

The lady stealing the alcohol is genius.

[@MrPatrickDunn]

7:12 This isn't even possible. They run your ID in their system to be ABLE to write the ticket.

[@virn756]

I loved the Jim story The dude was a legend

[@mattt.4395]

BUT HE FORGOT TO CALL HIM JIM! Didn't he?

[@alexandrevolokhov3725]

1:50 literally the smartest guy i ever heard of

[@claraashdown2107]

Me: *Reads Title * Also Me: *_L I G H T Y A G A M I_*

[@avshockey6633]

I don't know if they still do it, but back in the 80's, When Target would get in shipments of larger items like furniture, the truck drivers would just drive around to the back of the store, disconnect the trailer portion of the truck, and leave it there. Target used the trailers as extra storage so the larger items wouldn't take up too much space in the stockroom. One of the employees who had access to the keys to the padlocks on the trailers had one of their friends come in while they were working, and they gave them the keys. The friend went to a hardware store and made copies. They would go back late at night and using the keys, they would take a few items from each of the trailers, then lock them back up and leave. They would sell the stuff at the flea market and repeat the process. Since they were only taking a few items from each trailer, and they were using they keys, Target never even noticed the missing items. or if they did, they probably assumed they were stolen from inside the store by shoplifters.

[@antonkemperjr4128]

that's not even thing truckers never leave trailers at dept stores

[@cactus8643]

@@antonkemperjr4128 Your right but this was going on in the 80's so it might've been different

[@milliedodd5278]

I robbed a glue stick from my school when I was 14 but I felt really bad so I gave them the money the next day lol

[@nicke.8622]

What a Maniacal crimininal, YOU MAKE ME SICK

[@otakon17]

12:54 damn, now that was smart. Plus no one was hurt and the owners were reimbursed.

[@greatsword6365]

It says "who you have ever *encountered* " you geniuses

[@TrulyMorningstar]

1:35 Holy Shit that man is a legend for figuring that out.

[@Bobas__2]

Back in my day, my mom would give me one penny, just one, and I would pop down to the local grocery store and come back with 3 gallons of milk, several packets of candy, and some bags of chips. We can't do that now. Too many damned cameras.

[@tvtitlechampion3238]

Is that store still open?

[@msdm83]

Great one a security guard told me. They come in with a shopping bag, drop shopping into bag, walk out. In Ireland a security guard can only detain you if they accuse you of stealing. A false alegantion is grounds for defamation. Bottom of bag is cut out, 'stolen' item falls through and it's kicked under the tail. Another one is training young kids to throw stuff into a buggy. Same kid comes back with different adults during the day.

[@belugah8238]

Back when I was 10 I would wear shoes then go to the store with the same shoes the switch and walk out like nothing happend

[@FloridaManRacer]

I was night security at an insurance company in Upstate NY. We had a cleaning service (contracted) that would come in nightly to clean the facility. One of the guys on the cleaning crew gained access to a room where old computers had been stored waiting to be removed by the company as they had installed a bunch of new ones. He stripped them of their serial numbers and avoided the not too many cameras in the building at the time He got about 3-5 computers in whole out of the building but then decided to change his tactics. He would rip a motherboard, ram, cpu or any other components out a little at a time and hide them under his jacket then go out for a 'smoke break' to his truck, place them in the footwell under his bench seat and go back to work. He did it to about 5-7 machines before I literally caught him red handed. He tried to attack me and I knocked him out cold with a TOTALLY lucky punch (I'm no 'Billy bad ass', I just got really lucky to be totally honest) detained him and had his co-workers call the police. He went to jail for about 18 months. Not necessarily smart as he was caught and detained by a 19 yr old unarmed guard, but it was interesting to be directly involved with something like that at 19 yrs old while my friends were worrying about algebra as freshmen in college lol...

[@theeyepatch1219]

Light yagami... Scribbling the names it deathnote while laughing eerily

[@ARayV]

I hope he gets caught

[@Lucky-il7pb]

The BestBuy story is actually a legend, when I use to work there everyone was told about it and we actually had to change the entire companies closing routine because of this robbery.

[@its._.august._.7078]

They done goofed lupin should have been the thumbnail

[@m4z805]

There's a video of British police chasing a criminal down into a dead end with a large building beside a fence. The criminal actually hid himself by using a metal painted collapsible tube and standing beside the building, looking almost like a ventilation duct of some sorts. He got caught because an officer went to lean on the duct and it gave way.

[@amanimango]

Title: *Police Officers* share the smartest criminal they've encountered Stories: I'm not a cop but..

[@Redditbedstories69]

Professor: Hold my beer

[@ToxicSocks24]

Me who hid the DS under the pillow after bedtime and never got caught: AMATUERS

[@NekoYuki]

The first one is actually legitimately insane. Because only someone who has some degree of psychopathy would do what he did.

[@muckamuckamojo1822]

“I think I’m bout to STEAL”

[@nell4477]

So this guy who had escaped from prison was caught on my road but anyway what he did was he starved himself till they had too take him to hospital or something like that anyway when he was being taken to hospital his gang members intervened and kidnapped him .

[@blueenderman3322]

"I'm not a cop but my mom's cousin's little brother son's dad are friends with my dad and my dad's mom was a cop though"

[@GoldenUnlimited]

I love how the next video after this is criminal masterminds sharing their crimes!

[@chrisalbert12]

Well this was very interesting especially the barcode thingy I would love to try that out

[@deepface7758]

Let's us know how it goes

[@juanitoalcachofa1183]

dont be a little shit and dont steal

[@datpurplestuff7482]

Juanito Alcachofa ok Juanito

[@chrisalbert12]

Juanito Alcachofa well I never thought of doing it until this video I might order some cause there are people who do barcodes that can be made for their own personal use

[@kyleweaver1930]

Used to do this before I got too ballsy and got caught. And just so you know it is illegal to switch barcodes. We would go to the candle section in Walmart and take the cheap $1 candles since the barcode would slide off really easily. Then go to self checkout and do your best to not weigh the shit so the attendant doesn't ha e to come over and see $10 of candles but not a single one in your bag. The one Walmart we went to had no pressure sensors in the self checkout for a long time so worst comes to worst have someone who is buying shit ask the attendant for help while you get two or three items super cheap. I don't steal anymore but Walmart made it so fucking easy. Black Friday they'd leave games out since there was too many people to constantly lock and unlock the display case. Just open the box and put the disks in our pants. But the barcode thing will get you caught if you aren't quick about it.

[@DrChris1]

Last one is a criminal mastermind. Sounds like something from GTA

[@Samurai_1010]

Water, Earth, Fire, Air. Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony, then everything changed when Fire nation attacked

[@thepope2412]

Okay zoomer

[@deviljho4260]

Shadow M avatar is overrated

[@koroanime2091]

@Shadow M and games, too, maybe some people genuinely like hating popular things

[@m.c.martin]

Shadow M although he has a lot to learn*

[@emmabingham8545]

@@deviljho4260 piss off!

[@joebaumgart1146]

Well, considering I was a hacker for 8 years and was never caught...... (The Statute of Limitations already expired on everything anyway.) I didn't go after people, mostly large companies that could afford it. I only took what I needed, never got greedy, and always worked alone.

[@cattysplat]

I played Uplink too.

[@roozavelt]

4:13 what a name 😂💀

[@sydneyngo3102]

The one about constantly setting off the alarm until they finally turned it off is exactly how Simon Dermott (played by Peter O’Toole) stole the “Cellini Venus” statue from the Kléber-Lafayette Museum with Nicole Bonnet (played by Audrey Hepburn) in the movie How to Steal a Million. I bet the thief got that idea from the friggin’ movie.

[@frostz1100]

I'm smarter than those criminals, I still didn't get caught

[@fedjtfsq]

But u just exposed yourself so ur not that smart

[@fedjtfsq]

@Evening Commenter but at the same time people could figure out eventually who he is because he admitted that hes a robber or criminal

[@frostz1100]

@@fedjtfsq As you watch a video, you start questioning other people, in the comments. You see someone who's making a joke about being a criminal. You read it, and you don't get it. You type out those words. Hhm? What's that sound? A rocket? A plane? No. It's the sound of the joke going over your head. You have been wooshed. r/woosh.

[@oatseawong6664]

Jim who stole the superbike is so genius.

[@bennycostello2472]

Id say the smartest they've never encountered.

[@tb.7788]

that garden section in walmart is a huge oversight. i’m not saying that i did anything like that but it was something small and i just opened it out there cuz they didn’t have cameras and left the packaging outside and had whatever it was in my pocket. only did it once and was pretty young. they should definitely put cameras out there and not let you take items out there that you havent paid for yet. cuz they have like a gate around the area but it’s just bars so you could have someone come up and grab shit from you and take it to your car and then you just leave

[@oliviadrinkwine1411]

Not a cop but I heard a story about a bank robber from one of my old teachers back in high school. (We could opt out of assemblies as I have sensory processing issues I usually did.) Told this story So one night a random person throws a rock into a bank steps in and then out again. The day after the bank tellers noticed the window broken so they board it up and call in a repair man to fix it and then the repair man fixes the window. The night the repair man fixes the window the same person throws a rock at the same window and breaks it. Steps in and then out again The day after the bank tellers noticed the window broken so they board it up and call in a repair man to fix it and then the repair man fixes the window. The night the repair man fixes the window the same person throws a rock at the same window and breaks it. Steps in and then out again. Then the next day the same person comes and robs the bank with a gun as per most robbers I've seen and he also has a duffle bag. And then he takes 2 tellers to the vault (because no one person knows everything) and then after that he heads up stairs and while the tellers are being held at gun point there pressing the silent alarm buttons but nothings happening. So after the person goes to the back they call the cops and tell them that they're being robbed. So cops come and the person is no where to be seen. A few months later a person walks out with a duffle and no one is the wiser. Later cops found bags of pee and poo in the collapsible ceiling the bank had up stairs. So the guy did eventually get caught. Otherwise I wouldn't be telling you this story.

[@oliviadrinkwine1411]

How he did it The first night they break the window they are checking for security cameras. The second night they is waving his arms around checking for motion censors So the third night he brought some super glue from the hardware store and super glued the silent alarm buttons. So that's why they where not working the day the bank got robbed. And after they get up stairs they hid for about a month in the collapsible ceiling. And walked out with a different duffle bag. As they hid one inside of another one. and also they grew a beard and looked different then when they walked in.

[@oliviadrinkwine1411]

and the dumbest criminal story So a guy was holding bus drivers up with a gun and broke the glass jar fair was held in at the time. So one day they where waiting at a bus stop and the bus just passed them by so they start running and jump in front of it. And of course the bus driver stopped and then opened the door and did his usual thing holding the bus driver up at gun point. But they where confused at why there was no fair jar then they look back and see other convicts. He got on the wrong bus as that one was going to walla walla prison. So ya he got sent to there for trying to rob a prison bus at gun point :facepalm:

[@antonkemperjr4128]

@@oliviadrinkwine1411 lie, lie, lies

[@Amberscion]

I had a co-worker who would reschedule a court date for a speeding ticket 3 times, which was the limit. He said that when he'd go to the fourth court date he'd claim that he had been passed by another speeding car and then pulled over, claiming "I thought it must have been that car that was going to be pulled over, and I was so surprised when I got pulled over!" He said the judge would ask the cop, who would say something like "Um, that was 4 months ago, I can't remember" and then the charges would be dropped. Genius! I also had a friend who had a sports car with t-tops. He'd park them in his garage, claim them as stolen to his insurance company (they were fairly commonly stolen), get the check for ~2k, and then park his t-tops back on his car. I think he did this at least three times.

[@МюмюнЕргин]

Still Jack the Ripper is the worlds most genius murderer in the world hes dead but still

[@MatanuskaHIGH]

Shi no Tamashi he wasn’t a genius. It was 100 years ago and investigations weren’t shit back then. DNA etc wasn’t even a thought and they didn’t have mugshots cameras etc etc. would have been real easy to be a serial killer back then. Also it most likely was a cop anyway because nobody would question a cop walking around in London late at night.

[@МюмюнЕргин]

@@MatanuskaHIGH he was a genius for hes time + you can ignore cameras with a mask and you wont get shot by a cop if you use the shadows like a ninja (basically be quick and silent)

[@GaryRichards813]

@@МюмюнЕргин Jack wasn't a genius. The dude probably didn't even have to break a sweat to get away with his murders. In the late 19 century Forensic science was only in its infancy. And the only ways to get caught was by either having a strong eyewitness against you, or get caught in the act.

[@brendans7256]

The zodiac killer is still alive too and he never got caught

[@gallahad711yea8]

@@brendans7256 nah. They are like 95% sure about who the zodiac was, but he had a heart attack before his trial I think?

[@vinnymadelynelamata4833]

Smartest criminal I know got away of killing other criminals while studying/scribbling on his notebook and eating a bag of chips despite having police surveillance cameras all over his room. Later, he managed to join the police to investigate his own crime cases without the police knowing he was the serial killer all along. But he died in a heart attack tho.

[@madskillz1o1]

I'll give you some attention for the effort. I never liked the tv-in-a-bag-of-chips method though. Seems too clumsy to execute.

[@vinnymadelynelamata4833]

@@madskillz1o1 but it worked 😂

[@Sp00kq]

Damn that was a smart guy with the superbike theft.

[@absolute_whimsical5102]

Pretending to be mental is a roocky mistake, they can either tell your faking it or either way you’ll be sentenced to a prison/mental institution for the sentence you need to serve

[@buddermonger2000]

The barcode swindling is the best one in my opinion, because even when they were caught, couldn't even really be charged. It's such a smart crime it's not even a crime at all.

[@SpoonDiceMusic]

big brain time

[@drosera88]

Also in Australia: Yes means no, over means under, plus means minus, and Emu means Ostrich.

[@flames1752]

I feel like I had some one at my work trying one of these. I went to dump trash and this one trash can at first glance looked totally normal, a bunch of trash stacked up high. But the thing was, this bin was in a weird spot and never had that much trash so I investigated to see what was filling the space. The whole bottom was filled with various electronics. Took that right to the manager.

[@keithelliott2296]

snitch

[@antonioalcantar2373]

Snitch

[@WildBluntHickok]

Manager: "Uh, well gee, I wonder who could've put that there? (shit)"

[@nickthestampede2160]

Good slave. Now go scrub the toilets.

[@R4c3r_10]

**furiously takes notes**