Dad game review round-up

Games are for dads. Thanks to video games, dads can play golf, build birdhouses, mow the lawn, and go fishing... all without leaving the home office. But what do games like Powerwash Simulator, Train Sim World 2, and The Golf Club have to offer the childless urban-dwelling millennial? Pat Gill reviews a selection of powerful dad games to glean life lessons and fatherly insight into the world of dads ... and his own psyche.
0:00 About dad games
0:47 Train Sim World 2
3:03 Lawn Mowing Simulator
5:27 Powerwash Simulator
6:45 Bassmaster Fishing 2022
8:50 The Golf Club
11:20 What did we learn?
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[@polygon]

Dad games. Which ones did we miss, and what do you rate them for Fun and Fatherly Insight?

[@wellspokenrambler]

Is Octodad a dad game? it has dad in the title.

[@Michael_Lindell]

Rad Dad Redemption

[@pliable-head]

Flight Simulator is a game I will forever associate with my dad but I think the train segment broached that same niche 👍 lol

[@lunnefisk4344]

If you squint (and select a moustache at the start) I think you could frame Bloodborne as a fatherly game

[@lvmln7843]

can you drop the sources to the music you used in your video? i really enjoyed it

[@cybersneak4108]

i like that in the thumbnail you can see he tried to write “dad games” on the garage door but inevitably realized that the layout wouldn’t work and resorted to the side of the house

[@cadepeppley9430]

Thank you for pointing that out, I needed that

[@melbapeach162]

And made zero effort to hide this failed attempt

[@voidify3]

“We’ve all made a happy birthday sign”

[@Clairembify]

From each dad according to his ability, to each dad according to his needs. 😌

[@polygon]

words to live by

[@daftodil589]

not mine, not yours, but our dad

[@KidMoxie]

In Soviet Russia Dad game YOU!

[@leeeorama]

Infinite Dads in Infinite Combinations

[@BenjaminStaver]

"I took my eyes off of the situation for 10 seconds and now there is disaster" is pretty prime toddler dad.

[@polygon]

Metaphors all around

[@chickenskink1]

This reminds me of the time my dad took his eyes off me for a second when I was 2. My auntie spotted me in the process of walking into traffic. She just told him: "Run". He had to sprint down that road of 200 yards and scoop me up right before I left that curb. That day my dad became a hero and a different man.

[@baeregard]

"the dadification of games.... what about the dadification of patrick?" god i love pat videos so much. i love these words

[@zixserro1]

"Why did I think that sharing my fears and insecurities were unbecoming of a father?" I feel this more than I should...

[@niteowl9491]

"If I share power and responsibility, there is also serenity." uh this is such an important lesson? thanks dad!

[@aubreymhill]

That one hit surprisingly hard...

[@sourwitch2340]

@@aubreymhill it's basically saying "it's okay to ask for help." which is indeed a very important life lesson that I find way too hard to learn. so that's why it hit hard for me at least.

[@spencykings3182]

we've all made a "happy birthday" sign

[@kazzolijake2651]

as a childless guy playing a dad in DnD, this gave me a lot of insights to take with me into the imaginary world as I try to be a good dad to my imaginary children

[@felixc543]

Tabletop Dads are great characters

[@kazzolijake2651]

@Jess Kaldwin I have heard of it but haven't tried it out yet, thank you for the rec

[@radekchrabota]

There is an adventure zone one shot in a dad based universe, dm'd by Brennan Lee Mulligan and its glorious

[@frnk8650]

‘trains make spiderman look like a little piece of shit’ we came into this one guns blazing huh

[@Infinite_Archive]

Water guns blazing, yeah.

[@TheTlminton]

Really thought there was going to be a Far From Home reference. Train really got the better of him there.

[@saulitix]

The REAL dad experience: falling asleep while watching the Tour de France Simulator. The serenity, the peace, the sportsmanship... and the naps.

[@polygon]

oh, this sounds like something my dad would do - Simone

[@saulitix]

@@polygon my dad woule get along with yours then!

[@cybarch]

and don't forget, waking up to say "I was watching that" if you change the channel

[@mory6572]

videos like this are the ones that make me say "oh Pat" in so many different tones, but its always a good time. thems the vibes we love from polygon videos

[@polygon]

"Oh Pat" supercut - 12 minutes

[@JohnSmith-gf6jt]

I knew Pat would pull through with anti-lawn TRUTH.

[@iceshadow42]

Yaaaaasss!

[@anna_freya]

One of my favourite stream moments is Pat, Simone and Clayton all fawning over a good power wash, while an exasperated Jenna yells “what is wrong with y’all?!” in the background

[@polygon]

We became daddified

[@JSON1C]

PAT you can't just say "anonymous hole action" this is a family

[@AM-ow3gn]

the thing about every Pat sentence is that he writes jokes in sparkling-stained-glass prose, and contemplative commentary on humanity in off-the-cuff-sounding throwaway puns. The barely restrained laughter while delivering both kinds of writing is very dadly, I'd say

[@BestgirlJordanfish]

The dadification of Patrick is such a beautiful concept I was not ready to hear.

[@Fopenplop]

if he's trying to get dadified he has my number

[@Bo-kq8tn]

as someone who works close to the wastewater/drinking water industry, I want you to know I was CHEERING at the mention of nitrogen runoff from lawns causing ecosystem-wrecking algae blooms, thank u for bringing this knowledge to the broader gaming audience :D (I also enjoyed the existential glimpse into becoming a dad)

[@Dollightful]

Thank you for demystifying why so many men love trains. I found that genuinely insightful haha

[@courtjester42069]

**popular doll customizer KZbin dollightful???!?!?**

[@dandeliondew]

@@courtjester42069 :000 I didn't even know until you pointed it out. *popular doll customizer KZbin dollightful??*

[@melonysnicket]

("BEYONCÉ????" meme voice) DOLLIGHTFUL????

[@comettale9203]

Katherine Dollightful???

[@jouxlskaard]

hi dollightful :)

[@lhoravn2481]

My entire job revolves around booking moorage for dads who want to fish. I interact with hundreds of fishing dads each month. The line about spending 40k on something you can do with a stick and some string made me lose my mind laughing. Thank you.

[@baeregard]

"golf is a bit like backwards fishing" pat you can't just say this shit

[@somerandomgoblin2583]

But he's right though!!!

[@BlindErephon]

Some people call it Ball Chess.

[@ShadowsFallOnWings]

No, no. Let him speak

[@mintjaan]

My dad is a gamer, and he plays MMORPGs. I'm the one who plays the dad simulators in the family.

[@somerandomgoblin2583]

Same here! My dad loves strategy games and some MMOs, and I'm out here also playing dad simulators

[@rachelrachel9152]

Grass is greener and all that

[@mechanicalmonk2020]

Time to have a kid

[@somerandomgoblin2583]

@@mechanicalmonk2020 See you in approximately 192 business days, in that case

[@svenbtb]

Lol same, my dad has beef playing WoW for years

[@Boozlenoodle]

As a dad, I appreciate this well-crafted dad content. Good job, sport!

[@polygon]

Gee, thanks!

[@Jimmytwofifty]

"like a powerwash yojimbo" had me. well played patrick, well played.

[@mirabelwindsor9424]

I don't wanna break the 69 likes but good comment pal pls accept my alternate form of fake internet points

[@kendromeda42]

"A computer display shows me where the fish lives." I'm always excited to see MST3K references out in the wild

[@sydposting]

Shout-out to the Original Dad Game, those handheld electronic card games that were sorta like a Game and Watch for Poker or Texas Hold 'Em. My grandpa had at least five of them.

[@charlotteeo7803]

"Special thanks: Dads" Man's out here addressing toxic masculinity and environmentalism whilst goofing on video games and still manages to be as kind as ever. That's our Pat.

[@bucca2]

I watched this immediately after waking up from a nap. It gave me serenity I have never felt, and shall never feel again, I fear.

[@cornus7721]

Everytime Pat describes anything I’m inclined to employ the timeless phrase “Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about” in an affectionate tone.

[@rachelrachel9152]

Lol so true like i DO get what pat is talking about but it certainly deserves that meme regardless

[@xersys2556]

The golf insights are too real. As a father, it is hard to find other peers to bond with.

[@wellspokenrambler]

The lawnmower experience is true to life, in my experience of mowing the lawn. Am… I the dad?

[@polygon]

you might be the dad

[@chekovsgunman]

Hi Dad

[@sanityisrelative]

The true dad was the lawns we mowed along the way.

[@NoodleDoobles]

I think I need a Dad beard simulator game. To enjoy the facial hair I'll never have.

[@polygon]

i want this dream for you

[@aubreymhill]

This is why my little brother got me a Wooly Willy keychain as a child. Retrospectively the name is suspect but the dad beard simulator of it all still holds up.

[@speedracer2please]

May I suggest Witcher 3 and Red Dead Redemption 2, for their realtime beard growth features!

[@kraziiXIII]

@@speedracer2please excellent suggestions!

[@dylanh1647]

"Dad game review round-up" - Review Entertaining 5/5 Thoughtful 5/5

[@karmaslogan]

The Dadification of Patrick will not be televised.

[@iceshadow42]

Can we just take a minute to acknowledge how well this is written?

[@keenywah6349]

Wait. A. Minute. Are you really gonna say “anonymous hole action” with “partner after partner” with a completely deadpan intonation and expect me not to notice?? I like it. Good new wave dad joke. A+

[@mabcap124]

As a fellow Patrick, "...what about the dadification of Patrick?" may just be the best thing I've ever heard on this platform.

[@somerandomgoblin2583]

I love that for you

[@patrickistruck]

patrick gang

[@theresadettloff6196]

Patrick, you're really, really fucking good at what you do. Really enjoying all your explorations of masculinity, it's underdone and I enjoy your perspectives as well as how they are delivered.

[@killpy12]

The Polygon video crew has been on a roll for a while now with videos that are each 100% them and I love it every time. This video is another beautiful and Dadly example of that

[@kakao-katze]

the fatherly insight for the golf game actually took me off guard because it was in no way a joke. Well, there is good insight in all of the segments, but the goddamn golf one struck gold. So much so that, immediately after I was going to make this comment, I noticed my own dad struggling to accept his shortcomings and be vulnerable around his family and wanted to help him with recognising that. Thanks Pat and his dissection of a golf game!

[@Eryncerise]

Shoutout to whoever did the closed captions on this video. I love the little descriptions of the music. That IS a rollicking little acoustic guitar loop over the credits. That WAS so nice, you're so right. 😊

[@Archibaldh1pp0]

This is a beautiful review. I can feel my scruffy beard growing in, that my kids that I don't have shall comment on saying "you look funny" only for them to not recognize me when I shave it.

[@polygon]

THIS HAPPENED TO ME - Simone

[@Archibaldh1pp0]

@@polygon you have my daddest sympathies.

[@roxxram9151]

As someone with no children but extreme levels of dad energy, I appreciate this video. Say sport, how'd you like to go play catch in the yard? I'll bring my old beat-up glove!

[@TheAsexualJellyBean]

Pat videos are always the best, he just has this energy of "I love doing this, but I don't really want to be here"

[@bwagner23]

Each game brings another insight that just levels me. Pat's out here being the Werner Herzog of video game review.

[@medulasa1]

"My son wants to go to an art school" killed me lmao

[@gabsus8012]

called my dad to tell him i love him after this video

[@KiroWhitefin]

The downfall of most dad games is that almost all dads needs physical proof of whatever project they undertake. In that sense the most dad thing about this video is that it exists as a record of your exploration of dad games.

[@musterhere]

When I become a dad, hope one of these will help me cope with time waiting for children's swim class, especially the lawnmowing simulator (just to not use the lawnmower on my own yard nyah)

[@emmafitzmaurice499]

That fishing game seemed to be missing a crucial step, taking a photo of yourself with the fish for the tinder profile you’re using to cheat on your wife

[@IntrusiveThot]

I thought was going to be a review of games like Octodad or Dream Daddy but oh god this is so much better We are your collective children, Pat, and we love you

[@Arocks014]

I just realized that in the thumbnail, “Dad Games” was about to be power washed on the other side of the house, but turned out to be not enough space, so it was redone on the longer side, and that was too relatable for me to not call out

[@jodude711]

“The grass doesn’t forget… and neither do I.” Really needed that laugh today

[@clairevanrooy1887]

7:45 "shows me where the fish live" either that's a solid mystery science theatre 3000/touch of satan deepcut or i have officially lost my mind

[@strangeduckling]

Hey Pat, whatever happened to Pat's Pets? The two volumes we got, in addition to the non-Pat spiritual predecessor, Far Cry Primal: Every Predator Petted and Reviewed, were sweet sweet morsals that I would love to once again have grace my feed. Nothing says Dad more than claiming they don't want or like a pet, only to accept said pet as their favourite child.

[@TheAkiliDaniels]

Me, coming into this: Definitely read that as D&D game reviews, but eh, whatever I'm here for it. Me, 10 seconds in: I wonder if they'll go over Railroad Tycoon, the game my dad played for literal HOURS on end as I was growing up (including AFTER we upgraded from an early 90s Mac to a fancier early 2000s PC) Me, after hearing the words Train Sim: Ah, yeah that's close enough. Dad=Dad confirmed.

[@Limonenmixgetraenk]

I was mowing my grandfather's lawn last year and he still has a lawnmower with a power chord. It was agonising. You really had to plan your path so as to a) get the grass and b) not cut the power chord. The worst task I have ever had to do, I was so afraid the entire time.

[@beem2528]

Every single sentence in this 12 minute videos is perfect. (Pats you firmly, yet kindly, on the back) "Good job champ"

[@Ancusohm]

I have never before pondered the existential terror of dad games.

[@shaunspark8036]

Finally, we get to lean around the metaphorical doorframe and ask right back, "are ya winning, Dad?"

[@kristianjohn663]

Dad/dad would father again

[@pliable-head]

Thank you for this gentle fatherly insight, KZbin man who is only a year and a half older than me. It’s soothing and I will cherish it henceforth

[@Meromorphic]

Video in one sentence: Maybe the real dads were the lawns we mowed along the way.

[@wdfinbllngsly]

That was extremely well written, holy shit. A work of ART

[@TwoPairSA]

1:12 "(Spider-Man grunting and yelling as he is overwhelmed by the power of Train)" might be one of my favorite captions on a KZbin video ever.

[@jessical4866]

I can never be the same after the Fatherly Insight gleaned from lawnmowing. Thank you, Patrick.

[@Dunika]

There is, at least on my dad’s case, a genre missing. Dads love simulators yes, but some of the also love history. My dad would spend hours navigating on a historic ship, hoping to find an enemy ship to spend HOURS in a ship battle. So, accurate historic simulators.

[@rionsanura]

This is among my favorite polygon videos ever made. Good job, champ.

[@Sagalink]

Hey, dadly content aside, the writing quality on this video is superb!

[@ChadGeidel]

Just about spit my drink out at the "unlimited fish glitch" joke. Kudos sir. :D

[@jeremylakey680]

I love how wholesome in fatherly way the comments are in this video, even though I can't imagine the target demographic is dad's.

[@dukerayburn]

I was really hoping we'd get a D.A.D. scoring rubric, like the H.O.R.S.E. one from the Red Dead video. Incredible work, Pat. I scream-laughed at the Spider-Man riff. It doesn't exist, but a Talk To Your Dad For More Than 15 Minutes Simulator built like a visual novel would be a lot of fun.

[@jpconley5618]

Pat is both the dad we want and the dad we need.

[@josephstone4842]

I loved the existentialism during the fishing review, the impeccable comparison between fishing and golfing, and Pat’s face when he looked up to see he had run into a train after ten seconds of looking away.

[@milenacosta8299]

Dads!

[@polygon]

finally, games for dads!

[@CanadAce]

You forgot the mechanic sim games! Surely they are "dadworthy"! Also, plane mechanic, tank mechanic and car mechanic 2018 are the only "Dad games" I've ever played so there's that lol

[@bircharbor9042]

Ive missed Pat sooooo much. I haven’t watched a polygon video in forever! What a nice treat! :D

[@tylersasaki2935]

For not being a dad, pat got so many dad-isms spot on. I say this not as a dad, but one who spends a lot of time with dads through work.

[@baeregard]

well that was a surreal 12 minutes. 10/10!

[@oOKidKeyOo]

I did not know i needed content like this. But i really like the Skript, the words, the mood. Thank you

[@krell.1415]

This video made me feel things I haven't felt since my last bout of playing dad games. Perfect vibes right here.

[@josegeeklml]

I love the way you write your scripts Patt, please never change.

[@nightlark]

the way that Pat, when confronted with all the trappings of uniform, commerical, artificial "dadly" things in the fishing simulator, slowly rejects them and in doing so uncovers the core of Dadhood... that cut deep

[@sylghouls]

baffling yet flawlessly executed video concept as usual! thank you for this! :)

[@colaburken]

Thanks, Pat! This was a great video. I laughed. I marveled at your insight. I laughed again at the characters that "looked just like you".

[@alholz7836]

We got my dad an oculus over quarantine because all his friends had one as well, now they play vr golf all the time.

[@spekkio101]

Pat, your videos are real oases in the desert of the internet! Thanks!

[@nvrndingsmmr]

What a relaxing video. Thank you for letting us spend time with you Pat! Maybe we all have an inner dad that we ought to be more in tune with!

[@shadowflame68]

I grew up playing games with my dad this actually made me weirdly emotional XD Thanks Pat

[@xRockLobster75x]

love your work, Pat 👍

[@andreweddy7278]

this video got some good chuckles out of me. thanks pat & polygon, good video

[@Jetplain]

Love the “fuck lawns” sentiment

[@bambiettabasterbineetheexp1209]

So insightful. I really learnt a lot from this. Thank you Pat

[@ElkiLG]

Loved it, thanks Patrick!

[@ampersand2001]

Hey Pat, pulling from my experience as a Dad and Pop Pop, I'm here to tell you that you need to go over the lawn twice to take away those spots you missed. Thanks buddy!

[@kai-72]

Why is this video my new favorite thing on the planet. thank you pat

[@KrisTheNinth]

It's just.... such wholesome, and powerful video game journalism :'-) There's just no one else out there doing it with the love and sincerity of Polygon Video

[@ethanbanman]

The thing about Pat videos is that I never know quite what to expect

[@hyperfixatedd]

always looking forward to your next video, they never disappoint

[@Fenrisaconite]

Man, I was just thinking about the tough guy poster games video, and here's another fantastic video from Pat. Excellent. Also, House Flipper is great. I feel very accomplished afterwards, although I wish I had more options for decorating the houses after I clean and repaint them.

[@gwenthompson9984]

babe wake up new patrick video just dropped!!