Post-Chemo Update #12: Why do I feel sad when I think of my younger self?

Share your experiences in the comments below and I will do my best to respond.

[@whoami331]

Omg you are so flufy.I want to hug you so muchhhh

[@fraxinus_ash]

I'm 32 and I can say wholeheartedly that my life, outlook, and general togetherness have only improved since I left behind my 20s. I did have to get over this dumb idea that the best bit of my life was over, because it wasn't! Things change like priorities and responsibilities but if you embrace it and try not to pine for the past, you'll be good 😊

[@isendathinks7588]

Thanks for sharing, Ash. :) I've heard many people share similar sentiments and it makes sense. I look forward to my 30s!

[@petesmith2650]

You are so eloquent! I had cancer in my 20s too - melanoma...(...thanks Townsville childhood!) For me it was good as I was in a rut and it jolted me out of it. I remember thinking, "If I survive, I'm going to have a great life", and so I have - living alone, doing simple jobs, appreciating the profoundness of my existence. I'm 59 now. Isn't ambition over-rated? It's a type of self-expansion, but happiness, transcendence, is when the sense of selfhood is absent. A strong sense of selfhood is just a by-product of an over-active thought process, so a simple life is necessary, I think. (I was told I was smart too - top of my class most of my school days, went to uni, but it was such a relief to give up the academic life. (I'm not saying you should give up on your dreams, but don't lose your transcendence)) On a separate note - have you heard of Brian Peskin's book, "The Hidden Story of Cancer"? He suggests that the epidemic of modern cancer is largely attributable to the invention of processed vegetable oil. It sounds implausible, but he makes a surprisingly strong case... brianpeskin.com/

[@isendathinks7588]

Thanks Pete. I don't always feel eloquent so I really appreciate your comment! It's so interesting that you shared this experience with me because right after this video I made another video (which I posted today) and in it I talk about some of the topics you mentioned. I hope that if anything, my experience with cancer will keep me aware and actively engaged in appreciating the profoundness of my existence and prioritising my happiness. While I think we need keep our ambition in check if our ambition is fuelled by social desirability or ego, I know most of my ambition is connected to my desire to create and make positives changes in the world (even if they're small). I haven't heard of Brian Peskin. But I've heard that there is a lot of research against trans fats. Cancer research is complicated! Thankfully we are getting a better understanding for lifestyle-based cancers, like ones created by unhealthy foods or engaging in smoking etc. And I know that we are also building our understanding about how to tackle non-lifestyle-based cancers like those that most affect children and youth... but progress is too slow. I'm just profoundly grateful that my cancer was the focus of researchers/doctors long enough to create an effective treatment. I'd be dead without their efforts.

[@annabellemorton6719]

Relate to every single thing you mentioned in this video. Listening to you explain how you feel helps me break down my thoughts and makes them actually make sense in my mind rather than it just being a jumbled mess!

[@isendathinks7588]

I'm so glad to hear that Annabelle. Take care. :)

[@mago82]

I started watching your videos 2,5 years ago when my best friend was ill with breast cancer. I wanted to understand her more, and you helped me a lot. My best friend died, and I still watch your videos. I hope you will find that peace of mind and you will get your confidence back. I wish you lots of health.

[@isendathinks7588]

Sorry to hear about your best friend. That's really, really heartbreaking... I'm glad my videos helped you then and that you still watch them. These kinds of comments remind me to keep making videos. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing the memory of your best friend. I wish you lots of health as well.

[@mago82]

Isenda Thinks thanks 😊

[@whataboutbob6588]

I wish you the best

[@isendathinks7588]

Thank you.

[@emonetwothree]

100% relate!

[@isendathinks7588]

I want to say 'yay' because I'm happy that someone relates but at the same time I want to say 'noo' because it's a sad thing to relate to. :P Haha.

[@emonetwothree]

Hahaha totally get it, I was kinda like 'yay' too to hear that it wasn't just me :P

[@emonetwothree]

Really hoping you get through it though, you seem to be managing it so well! Keep being strong!

[@isendathinks7588]

Thanks and I hope life has been treating you well. :) Take care!