POV: Na-TRAUMA ka sa PALO

[@ronnelpaulobaldueza9816]

naiingit ako sa mga batang pinalaki sa GENTLE PARENTING because i was raised in a household were PALO is the answer not just PALO trashtalk din sabi ni Atty. sabay sabay yan siguro yan din ang reason kung bakit takot akong mag take ng risk sa mga bagay na gusto ko, siguro kung bakit din ako sobrang triggered sa mga bagay na hindi naman kailangan magalit or mapikon. This ep made me cry and reflect na kung bakit ako takot sa failure and bakit din ako takot magka-anak kasi baka maulit sa magiging anak ko yung nangyari sakin and another point din is yung hindi ma express yung sarili ko sa ibang tao takot akong magsalita for myself. thank you sa episode na ito madami akong na realize.

[@skyjapanessspitz3125]

Me too..as in sobrang pamamalo.kaya never ko ginawa sa anak ko.

[@lorenzerosales338]

I feel you, Physical is really painful different level din kapag verbally abuse like it affects everything lalo na yung behavior and mental side, ako maliit palang nun when I experience it from my Father, hanggang sa dumating sa point na nasa wastong pag Iisip ako and eventually I detached my self from him, as time goes by madame akong natutunan like God permited me to experience but He made away also for me to Heal on my deep wounds and scars kaya while watching this content Im at the point na while reflecting to it hindi na ganun kabigat at kasakit, I hope that you heal too, take time on that.👍

[@ronnelpaulobaldueza9816]

@@lorenzerosales338 thank you :)

[@arvin24ph]

Palo sa bata. Kasi hindi pa naman maiintindihan. Kung I explain mo sa bata kung ano Mali Niya. kailangan ma instilled yung authority mo as a parent habang bata pa Pag hindi pinapalo ang bata wala na engrained sa kanilang authority. Lalaking entitled ang bata dahil yung parents nila pinalaki Silang walang kinikilalang authority. Parang barkada lang parents nila dahil sa "GENTLE PARENTING"

[@ronnelpaulobaldueza9816]

@@arvin24ph that is your perspective i respect that pero in my experience i would rather raise my child in GENTLE PARENTING over sa PALO. kasi hanggang ngayon 30yrs old na ako pero hirap pa din ako iexpress ang sarili ko takot sa failure. pde mo naman maging barkada ang anak mo at the same time alam nila ang boundaries between barkada and parents.

[@deeLucas1612]

I can’t help but comment while listening. I was raised by a Narcissistic mom, I carried the trauma of being humiliated in public, hit really bad that I would get bruises on my legs and arms. I am not a difficult child. She would always brag to her friends that I’m a mabait na bata. My mom did it because I can’t swallow my a capsule of antibiotics because I had tonsillitis at that time. This topic hits to the core. I can’t discredit all the good things they’ve done for me. I’m an RN now holding 3 licenses from different countries. I have accepted that it happened and now that I have a son, the abuse ends with me. The generational trauma is not going to be passed down to him.

[@muentertainmentph]

Happy to hear this happy ending! 💜

[@deniseamelipurisima]

I really admire the emotional intelligence of miss inka, miss aryn and atty anselmo. Growing up in a household na ang disiplina is by palo, pina paluhod sa monggo or the worse was pina luhod sa broken cement(yung binakbak na road, binili kasi ng fam ko for a house project) and lastly pinalo ng arnis on Christmas day. But I have forgiven them. I have learned to accept that they were first time parents too. I was the eldest child. They were different namn na sa youngest namin. I wouldn’t say it didnt traumatize me, but ive moved passed it already and have fully accepted that it’s all of it is a perfect recipe for who I become right now. I jhope those that are a victim of these kind of parenting will find the courage to forgive their parents and also yourselves and be more gentle to yourself. Im not gonna say it’s going to be an easy journey, but it will be worth it. I am rooting for all of you. Sending some healing energy to all of you. Kaya natin to! Mahigpit na yakap para sa bawat isa.

[@benjaysonbabatio3656]

I think you should invite Kris Uy by this topic, because the start of her pregnancy is what she want to her child but that was tested when they got 2 child and another one. What I mean is that, sa ngayon wala pa tayo dun sa posisyon ng parent era that's the ideal that we want gentle parenting but in reality gentle parenting / rough parenting / discipline parenting should work hand and hand. Naaalala ko sabi ni papa "sa mga anak mo kahit palakihin mo ng pareho at pakainin mo ng pareho, magkakaiba pa rin ugali ng mga yan, kaya base sa mga ugali na un dun ka mag-aadjust kung panu mo sila ma-didiseplina". Magandang punto rin na naipapaliwanag muna sa mga bata anu ang mga tama at mali nilang ginagawa, bago natin sila disiplenahin or paluin.

[@muentertainmentph]

This is an interesting POV. Thank you for sharing. 🎙

[@DrewFariolen-sf9dn]

After watching this, I've come to understand the importance of forgiveness and the need to support my mom as she undergoes change.

[@gemboy16]

I agree sa sinabi na parent that adjusts and listen is the key. Inka shared that her friend that came from a childhood trauma na naging parent din and she is a gentle parent, which is very hard, ganon ang wife ko and I am so proud of her. Also to add I think na pwedeng next good topic would be the "generational curse", there is a chance that parents that "abused" their children where abused too then nag kapasa pasa na, so tayo na nasa sandwich generation as parents na trying to be a good parent pero nahihirapan san ihuhugot yung pagiging good parent. Good episode. Kudos to the team.

[@muentertainmentph]

We'll take note of this. Thank you for sharing your POV to us. 🎙

[@francesbirco64]

Opinions of this trio and the engagement is strong and totally balance!The chemistry is giving! Suggestion pwede nga po magkaroon kayo ng guest who shares their pov to share to their experiences. To know better. Educate is the key on this session. Very healthy conversations to accept and understand where everyone is coming from. Must watch talaga kayo there's always something to look forward to from you guys❤ more power sa prod team and host

[@AlmaTrinidad-q8f]

totally agree. it is very informative and a good guide especially to a start up family

[@muentertainmentph]

👀

[@sanjosesanjose4984]

It will be nice to do this episode again with the guest from Gen X parents and how they handle or practice gentle parenting to gen Z and alphas.

[@ralphaguilardizon3441]

As someone who just reached my 30s, and having a parent who had me at a young age, I’ve learned to accept that they are also growing and developing as we do. I had to remind my parents that being older doesn’t necessarily make them wiser. I learned to teach them that certain “norms” in our household need to change, if they don’t, we’ll all suffer the consequences. I appreciate that they are willing to compromise and learn from younger generations about how things should be done, rather than simply following what they consider the “norm.” Love this episode!

[@misstatsu]

As someone who grew up being spanked and physically abused, it definitely made me more cautious about my actions. However, it also led me to question my self worth at times as a kid. It's one of those experiences you look back on with a mix of understanding and a bit of resentment. It has shaped me into who I am today, but not without its emotional baggage. Growing up with the belief that physical punishment equates to love is a complex issue. They always quoted the Bible to justify it.

[@ayraperalta]

Another content creator (local) who shows gentle parenting is Kryz Uy (and Slater, of course). In her vlogs you can see how well she tries to communicate with her kids. It’s refreshing to watch.

[@KissesLutao]

Please do not used abused as disciplinary..it ruin my childhood life and affect my personality and naning addict and nag layas² physical and mental abuse is never okay 😢 buti nalang ngayun malinis nako and healing from all that....I'm happy that I came across this podcast thank you it helps a lot❤ kudos to this 3❤️

[@nicoleramos2040]

sana meron din sa spotify!

[@mikio3222]

This is the reason why i grew up with low confidence or siguro sensitive lang ako?diko alam pero ever since maliit pa ako puro negative naririnig ko sa kanila.umiiwas din ako sa marming tao gusto ko palaging mapag isa feeling ko kase lahat sila naka tingin saken at huhusgahan ako.

[@DANICAHANNAHLUNA]

same HAHAHA, kay mama ko yan danas, kasi si daddy ko mas gentle sya compare kay mama

[@deeLucas1612]

@@DANICAHANNAHLUNA coincidentally we have the same name and the same experience. Si Papa napoprovoke lang ni mama na saktan ako. I was humiliated in front of many people.

[@elakhid]

As someone na lumaki sa palo at pagbubunga, ang hirap ipratice ang gentle parenting.. but my hubby and I.. we are doing our best para maiba ung parenting style ng previous generation.. nice topic to.. pero tama si Inka, sana may guest na naka experience ng palo.. or someone with child psychology background.

[@mm_03398]

The more I listen to this the more narerealize ko na ung corporal punishment na nadaanan ko ang dahilan kung bakit hinayaan ko lng na ikeep in ung emotions ko nung pinahiya ako ng teacher ko sa buong klase noong bata pa ko. I let it happen. Hindi ako nagsumbong, EVER, nagpakatatag lang ako. Feeling proud pa ko na hindi ako umiyak kahit nasaktan ako ng sobra noon. After nalagpasan ko ung grade na yon, nagdasal lang ako na sana hindi ko na siya maging teacher (thank god, hindi). At that time, walang kumapi sa akin. Alam kong walang kakampi sakin kase deserve ko yon, pano pa kaya parents ko who would do the same thing. What I think happened to me is that everytime I try to do something, I will only have the confidence to do it if I have preemptive measures for failure. Bisyo ko rin na idownplay ung mga nagagawa ko ba. I rarely ask everyone else for help kase naranasan ko nga yung hindi pinagtatanggol. Hindi rin ako outwardly ambisyoso kase kasanayan ng pamilya ko na isumbat nila ung failure sa simula lalo na sa huli. Hahaha ang lungkot ng ganito lol. I've only experienced positive validation online, kaya online lng ako nageexpress sarili ko. Not to my siblings who made fun of me or my parent na sumbatero.

[@glennjaysolidor9984]

With great intention in watching and listening, I am a proud father of three wonderful girls, the eldest being 11 years old.

[@glennjaysolidor9984]

On the topic of 'Raising your child to become an investment plan,' I assured my child that when they are ready to start their own family and prefer not to take on the responsibility of my care, they have my permission to place me in an elderly care facility.

[@glennjaysolidor9984]

Thank you for this episode guys, it really imparted a new perspective esp about parenting. It's time that I change my old ways for the better. Thanks guys.

[@rica7946]

I was the pinapalo kid growing up. I was a very makulit kid, and i feel like my parents didnt know any better that time. they were so shocked ata na the palo they did to my sister worked bcos she followed agad but to me hindi nag work. no matter how hard they palo me, di ako nakikinig. nakikinig lang ako when we have a sit down conversation na what i did wrong. But when my parents realize that havinga conversation after ako mapalo, asking me if i know what I did wrong, what are the consequences of my actions worked yun na ginagawa nila. again they didnt know any better. after yrs, nagka kapatid ako, im a bit older, my brother didnt get any palo bcos i did told them, nakinig ako sakanila bcos of the sit down conversation not bcos pinapalo ako. i must say my brother grew up in a way na mas understanding siya sa mga bagay bagay kasi na explain sa kanya na there will be consequences of his actions.

[@mjessaliproductions6720]

Kaya ayun, may mga estudyante akong hindi rin confident mag express ng sarili nila sa klase dahil sa parenting style ng mga magulang na pinapalo or nirereprimand ng mga magulang.. -from a POV of a teacher..

[@muentertainmentph]

Thank you for sharing your POV, teacher! We appreciate all of you!

[@rinsab4951]

yung mga nahuli ko nagcheat, 100% umamin na "pressure ng magulang".

[@TheProblemItsMe]

Thank you for making me cry! This is so triggering ☹️Growing up in an abusive family. I wasn’t born yet, and my father denied me as his child because he’s addicted to drugs at that time. He was jailed for a year but came back after, and I had a younger brother. Since then, he always hits me almost every day. From 2004 to 2014. Belt, dos por dos, hammer, hit my head to the wall, pushed me on kanin-baboy and many more! It was stopped when I lived independently when I was 13 years old. I’m 23 now, and everything is still clear on my mind. Everything seems to have happened yesterday.

[@yaniverse2549]

Teary eyed reading this. Bless you🙏

[@rosejano]

Hi!! I think Aryn was referring to Authoritarian parenting on 11:00. Because autoritative is the ideal kind of parenting with enough permissiveness, presence, and discipline while authoritarian refers to establishing blunt authority. Minor correction hehe and love your podcast !!

[@InkaMagnaye]

Correct!!

[@dinaluvw]

I watched this because its one of our assignment in Creative Non-fiction for our next topic about reflection essay and watching these gives me a clear understanding how my parents raise me and this is actually a big thumbs up. Thank you, it's actually nice seeing my favorite people being in one frame hehe.

[@muentertainmentph]

💜💜💜

[@dixiemaed2022]

I have listened to two talks including this one so far and I subscribed right away. You found balance on each topic. I knew it from the first talk that I felt the vibe of having a deeper yet light discussion and finding the right balance on each topic. I like people who sees the other side of people's perspective. You pretty much dove to most of the points about parenting tho' there are some sidetracks but I find it entertaining and relatable, too.😃👍🏼

[@apriljohnperez5230]

It’s also great if they considered the socio-economic status of a family as a factor when it comes to parenting. Because I think and its evident that physical parenting happens in a low to mid family while gentle parenting usually happens to high-income families. Any thoughts?

[@muentertainmentph]

Hmmmm...

[@nelle1001]

This is such an interesting point! In families with higher socio-economic status, the parents are not burdened with lack of resources (i.e. finances). Meaning they have more time with their kids, and more likely in a better headspace to be more patient and gentle in disciplining the kids.

[@stoic_0815]

Agree

[@buchang-oq7cs]

This is what I thought when Inka said something about "that is not normal" about your parents telling you to wake up early ang "tamad Tamad mo". This is because maybe they are rich and have their yayas. Not like the low income earner families where children actually need to help around the house to lessen the burden of parents. They have some help from their helpers.

[@doyoungkim8436]

@@buchang-oq7cs tbh that's not her point, kasi nga even if you were raised on a not so well-off family, there's still a choice to talk to your child in a kind manner instead of berating them, do we think ba na kapag sinabihan ang bata na "anak prinsesa, mayaman ka ba? Ang tamad tamad mo" makakatulong sakanya? Well yes maybe kikilos yung bata but it doesn't mean na yung reinforcement sakanya is maganda at tama.

[@irenegalvan6166]

Myghaaaad….apaka dami kng natutunan plus yung mga thoughts and principles na di ko ma explain na i felt valid e na eexplain ninyo for me…thank you very much…🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤

[@jdgfsullivan]

Part of my healing is to forgive the people who have caused me pain, and at the same time, I am forgiving myself for all the poor decisions I have made in the past and will continue to forgive. We are all a work in progress. As we go through life, we experience and learn, life has a magic way of throwing you the same problem unless you learn from it. Our parents are human too, they didn't know better, but they did their best to raise us. We are all operating based on our current knowledge and upbringing. Forgiving people who have caused us pain will free us from our past and will stop the victim mentality. I know that it is hard to forgive, it's a process, take your time, and be gentle with yourself.

[@markjosephaguirrecielo6651]

Aryn and Inka in one show, FINALLYYYYY!!!!!!!

[@dhezhee]

True story. When my parents were still together, they always fight really bad and pag mainit ulo ng Nanay ko, sakin nabubuhos ang galit. Dont get me wrong, I love my parents pero I wish things were different. The physical pain that I experienced was just as bad as the emotional pain. And the saddest part siguro for me was I never got the sorry from them.

[@WeTheTZN]

I have a 4yr old now, and I want to be a gentle parent but it’s really challenging 😅 To be bonest natry ko na ang palo sa kamay, and face the wall, but I don’t think it’s an effective way to discipline my child. Hindi maganda ang naging effect sakanya. So ang ginagawa ko ngayon ay mas habaan pa ang pasensya ko 😅 and I try to be reaaaaallly gentle and talk to him in the most gentle way I can 😅 I was raised by authoritative parents, with minimal palo, and I don’t want to do that to my child. I grew up na mababa ang self confidence, takot mag risk, and always anxious about what other people would think of me. Yun siguro naging effect sakin ng parenting style ng parents ko. Parenting is really challenging, and it’s a learning process.❤ I pray for all the parents so they will have guidance to raise their child well. ❤ Thanks for this episode, it made me think and realize about a lot of things 😊

[@henryponcecalzita628]

As a teacher sobrang accurate nito. Pero putcha sobrang lala na talaga ng mga ibang kabatan ngayon parang di na pwede yung gentle parenting hahaha

[@gelomolina6681]

Sa bahay po kasi talaga nagsisimula ang discipline. At ang paaralan ay pangalawang bahay lamang para sa kaalaman at hindi para gawin pa ang trabaho na dapat ginagawa sa bahay. Hindi na po trabaho ng teacher ang magdisiplina.

[@jobertguerta5849]

​@@gelomolina6681but sadly, here in the Philippines trabaho parin ni teacher ang magdisiplina ng students aside from teaching ☺ Hindi lang taga turo ang guro tbh dito sa Pinas.

[@jhoiyful6643]

Feeling ko ung iba, dahil s gentle parenting wla ng kinakatakutan. Although, not all. Depende pdin s bata, pero karamihan tlaga ngaun mtitigas ulo may sarili silang mundo.

[@maccelis]

Agree, parang bawal na pagalitan😂

[@fruitfulberry1901]

​@@jhoiyful6643 That's the thing tho. It's not parenting anymore if the kid didn't really learn their lessons. I think that's just spoiling the child. Gentle parenting is not just avoiding physical and verbal abuse, remember that it's still 'parenting'. Those kids na sobrang coddled na hindi na pwedeng pagsabihan were not raised by gentle parenting. They're just not parented, at all or at least not properly. There's a difference between gentle parenting and just not hitting the child

[@phecomERP]

I realized bakit di pa ako nagsesettle down ngayon, because I don't want to pass on the abuse/trauma I had growing up and the abuse I still have right now as an adult. I believe God wants me to heal and God even sent me pets which I did not ask for, for me to understand myself and how I see myself as a parent

[@nechtuazon]

As someone who was a product of tough love and physical discipline. I could agree that I am still thankful for how our parents were so strict with us. All 5 of us siblings grew up and got our degree. We're not perfect, we're just successful enough to have individual careers and income. And since we were taught with "tough love", most of my siblings can endure hardships better in comparison to others. We're tough enough to defend ourselves but compasionate enough to be helping others as well. It's complicated. When we grew older and chose each individual paths in our lives, our parents supported us and are not so strict anymore. As someone who came from a VERY big set of families on both parent's sides, I could say my parents raised us well compared to those who were not properly disciplined at home. We were all accounted for despite our individually different strong personalities. For me, I think my parents did the best they could to discipline us in their own way. But if I were to become a parent in the future, I would like to raise them with positive communication. It was something I wished my parents would have done to me. Like I wish they would've explained to me why things are the way they are rather than saying "you do as I say because I'm your mom" or whatever.. I was a very smart kid and I know that if they would've explained properly, I would understand. And this came from someone who was the most obedient one among the siblings. Meaning, I wasn't even hit as much as my other siblings.. In short I became a people pleaser and a very gullible one before.. I would say those are one of the negative effects their parenting had. Btw, my mom didn't enjoy hitting us as well.. she would always cry after reflecting.

[@radiusoxide]

I can relate on this. 5 siblings (3 males, 2 females). We were disciplined differently, iba displin samin lalaki, iban din sa girls. Ako (m, 2nd child) been hit multiples times growing up. We were made to understand that it's discipline. It's not traumatic for me. Idk, we never resented our parents. After the cry, we were then made to understand why we were hit, why they are mad. I think iba din culture of discipline sa province vs main cities. all those disciplines are more of a laughing matter na lng for us. Pero yeah, i think the effect lng nito for me are more on low self esteem, fear of failure and i cant stand on my own decision.

[@EncounterswithNarsMish]

I am a product of gen x parents and I realised how they have been abused physically and emotionally when they were young but unfortunately they were unaware of that and they have passed it on to us. Consequently, the trauma has caused me to be afraid of raising up my own child, and I knew I needed healing from this.

[@jacknica12]

Sometimes mahirap ang gentle parenting…lalo na pag ang anak mo parang ibon wait ng wait ang sagot..hehehe but really, you don’t need to discipline them by hurting them physically. You just have to stand your ground and let them know that there are boundaries. You have to be somebody who they can talk to and also know that they can’t disrespect you.

[@MariaYamane-n8l]

hello. i recently discover this.. and watching your videos. i had been in a very hindi maintindihang paglaki i think i am blessed to explore and experience both world. good and bad environment filipino chinese spanish culture and family .. sa pagpapalaki nurturing father and hindi maintindihan na mother. in my life experience i am a survivor of different situation of abuse.. don'twant to go on details here in public. gentle parenting and palo depends on the kids. for now the 3 of u wala pang anak.. attrny soon to be... being a parent of 3kids with different father the approach differs too depends on the kids character. for me open minded communication and mutual individuality respect is a must for me and for my children. gen z now are more open to express their selves because most of them are children of millenials which they found from their experienced from tgeir childhood things they don't want to imposed in their kids. Good that they are changes for betterment.

[@GamesMaester]

I now have more self compassion after hearing you all three. Thank you. Realized I grew up in a black and white situation and so Ive had episodes in my life wherein i did really stupid things to myself with so much fear.

[@paultingson8854]

while gentle parenting has a good points in it, it also has a down sides. i personally believe that disciplining a child in our modern age is still acceptable, but i also believe that disciplining our kids must always be in the context of love, not just to say your disciplining our kids, it must always be in the context of love.. You explain to your kids why she got spank, coz in a way i believe in that manner we teach our kids to be accountable for their actions and know their boundaries as a kid..

[@mitchocochip]

MY BRAIN IS ENGAGING SO MANY THOUGHTS!!!!!

[@PaigeGarcia-n1l]

I come from a military family and a millenial. Personally, i believe balance is key when it comes to discipline.

[@eemjayh]

Lumaki ako sa gentle parenting style na family. Of course hindi naman sila perfect but never ako nashame infront of other people but when I got married yung person na noon masaya, jolly became quiet and reserved. I experienced being shame and once physically hurt by my mother in law. Now, my marriage is suffering and yung husband ko di nya ako maintindihan na it is not easy to forget. Yes, I can forgive but I cannot forget and nagmark talaga sa mind ko yun and because of that nagsuffer ako mentally because I felt na di pala ako 100% kakampihan ng asawa ko.

[@mn_rnd]

ang daming points na agree ako sa discussion na to... kahit na dun sa point na hindi invalid ang opinions nyo on parenting just because you don't have your own kids yet. I get a lot of that too, kahit ngayon na nag adopt ako. naedit lang yung pag invalidate nila kasi teenager na yung anak ko nung naging nanay nya ko. hindi ba mauubos yung mga reasons nila to invalidate why I believe in gentle parenting? to add on the same general topic kasi ako naman ang batang pinalaki sa palo, dakdak at sangkatutak na panakot.... OMG. I honestly envy you guys. kasi kahit naman totoo at tanggap kong may mabuting outcome ang parenting ng parents ko, it cost us our relationship. I have a "fake" good relationship with them. I said "fake" because I chitchat with my mom every now and then, but it's always a very shallow small talk. not to mention, sobrang bihira pa. It's a sad fact that I can now live without them. Wala akong eksenang I ask for their advice on adulting and parenting, and they don't get to see me or my family regularly. Hindi kami part ng current lives ng isa't isa. But anyway, I'm glad about how my relationship with my Gen Alpha kid is going. Apart from the serious responsibilities as a parent, she's open to share a lot of what's going on with her outside the house, receptive sya sa mga advice ko, AND we have fun with having the same kind of fashion. She's flourishing as a happy kid despite of having a lot of generational traumas passed on to her from her biological mom. Sure, I have some init-ulo moments na napagsasabihan ko sya, but that's all it is. No hitting of any kind, usap lang talaga. May times na paulit ulit pero ganun talaga, natututo pa sya.

[@lloydcantal6157]

SHARE KO LANG, i had red a line that i cant forget "dont let your child to be confused, set that boundaries Consistently" hindi pwede minsan pwede tapus minsan magagalit ka na lang, nalilito ang mga bata kung gagawin pa ba nila or ititigil di ba, like yung pagmumura, minsan sasabihin ng magulang sa kamarites nila, alam mo yang anak ko abay ang galing na magmura, e naiintindihan na ng bata yun, di ba? di nila alam kung tama ba o mali.

[@eztelrosales]

I am a product of physical discipline now as a parent I would love to and my goal is to gentle parent pero there are circumstances talaga and factors na pwede ka mag snap. (I can’t really own and manifest na gentle parent ako) Pero siguro yung silver lining don is yung willingness to learn and acceptance. both the child and yun parent is a work in progress. Yung iniisip ko na lang dapat whatever i do it should always come from a place of love. I make bawi nlng at when I’m cool headed na i try to communicate my feelings na lang.

[@lorenzerosales338]

Mukhang magiging suki ako ng Tatlong ito when it comes to Content, I love it the way they get along very Flavorful and Organic, more episodes to come.💕💯👍

[@sleepyme1325]

I was physically and emotionally abused by my parents, bruises here and there, scar on my face as well, I think I've already experienced almost all the types of traditional discipline. I never heard apologies from them, even a simple apology, none. I'm 25 now, and I can see that parents are still talking to me as if I'm a kid, even if I'm just simply asking them something, they always respond in a harsh way like literally pasigaw or irritated and I'm not allowed to talk back and tell my feelings about it. Now I can see that there's a lot of negative impact on my character and on who I am today. I'm lacking communication skills, I don't know how to respond well or most of the time I don't know what to say. I'm a nonconfrontational person and I tend to do the silent treatment to my partner. I get irritated easily even if I don't want to be that way, I think I'm lacking of emotional control as well. I am a perfectionist and I always fear failure and rejection. Someone told me that I'm really good and I do have a lot potential to be on top but I'm lacking of self confidence. I'm aware of that but it's hard to explain how I am feeling when I try to do something even if I know how to overcome it, it's just hard. Anyway, thank you, I learned a lot.

[@bikerjaer]

before I was really complaining about being physically punished but I understand things happened to me before time i grow up. but i admit that sometimes it is too much the way how parents discipline their children right now. again it all boils down on how to teach how to do good parenting.

[@catherineagustin7716]

napakaganda ng podcast na ito❤️ kailangan lang din talaga natin iopen ang mga isip natin🫰🫰 i love this❤️ napakarami kong natutunan.

[@audreyk214]

I was born with parents who got married young ,like 19 yo , they were so cool , they were so nice , I didnt get to exp being hit or being shouted at or being told nasty things . I was so grateful to them for not making me feel unloved .I feel secure cuz I know that they'd always support me .My parents' parenting style is the gentle parenting today but now that I am a parent I try to balance it because for me gentle parenting has its disadvantages too like you cant handle too much pressure , you cant stand or get too much affected if conflict arises.... or if you encounter someone who's tactless , etc. For me , I agree with Atty. one should do the gentle parenting and the other one should be the disciplinarian.

[@jaze_ph]

I wish they tackled more the topic about Gen Z being weak. Medyo mababaw yung pag discuss about fashion lang and generalizing Gen Z's strongness/weakness based on their fashion. I wish nadiscuss kung nagkaroon ng effect ang gentle/palo parenting sa genz, social media effect (in relation to parenting), like allowing iPad, tech at an early age, etc.

[@louellalanan8386]

Do yourself a favor, please don't be a parent to a child if you are not ready to take care and discipline a child. Please think deeper many times before establishing a family.

[@cyrilcabral3709]

I was raised by my aunt, then my biological parents and they were not perfect. My parents were verbally abusive and sometimes physically abusive as well. My aunt naman was super strict to the point na it's suffocating (na hindi ko alam that time kasi nga bata pa ako) But, please cut them a little slack for them to learn and adjust. As Inka said, our parents raised us in a way that they only know how and how they were raised by their parents. Kasi, ngayon pa lang naman nagiging mas fluid ang flow ng information sa mga bagay-bagay like how to raise a child. As a parent na din to an eight year old girl, I was able to get additional info on other people, mentors and believe me, if used right, the internet as well. Eh noon wala namang ganyan yung mga parents ko, yung info na nakukuha nila is from their parents din na malamang old fasioned and outdated.

[@dmi5696]

U three in one place is perfect!!! Humor, technicalities, different perspectives, great minds, great and right words to say. Dayummm. All in one, magic sarap! HAHAHAHA

[@arynkingking]

Thank you! And we all really like each other too!

[@dmi5696]

@@arynkingking omg!!! miss Aryn! em a SPIT fan. huhu.🥰

[@jambajurs]

Yung nagsamasama lahat ng mga pinapanuod ko. ❤❤❤ Omggg

[@xinrivera]

yan din reaction ko nung episode 1. hahah

[@mkqtkat]

I am envious of all of you bec you sounded like you had angels for parents. You mentioned that people will say you guys are privileged, I guess I would have to say that as well. 😂 Because you most probably are. While there are parents who physically punish their kids,and there are also gentle parents, you forgot about absentee parents and present parents who are neglectful and emotionally absent. I have parents who I believe were present but not emotionally present, then became absentee in a way. May mga laki sa grandparents, sa mga tito/tita and their parents weren't even there to discipline them. That's why I am so envious of you guys. I grew up with my relatives, my titos and titas... Boomer titos and titas... So I grew up feeling distant to people in general and not knowing how to express my disappointment, my anger, bc I never felt comfortable speaking my mind. I have tendencies to bottle up my feelings, etc, I am super introverted, etc then when I blow up and I become so angry I use physical punishment ...mostly during my early years of being a first time mom but through learning and implementing it, over time I cannot say that it is the best kind of motivation for anything. I also notice that when I am more stressed and not able to take care of myself more is when I cannot practice being a gentle parent, when I am overly stimulated as an introvert trying to survive each day, working plus having 4 kids who have varying physical, mental, emotional, social needs. Parenting is very hard. It's more like a marathon rather than a sprint. You need endurance, patience and willingness. I learned a lot from this podcast. I am a mom of 4 and have been learning and relearning about parenting for 15 yrs. Now that gentle parenting is being highlighted in society, I am absorbing as much information as I can. I also agree to let kids speak their minds as long as they know their boundaries as well. I teach my kids to express themselves but be respectful in doing so and I always remind them of the golden rule. I appreciate that the younger generations are promoting gentle parenting. Tbh, many parents confuse gentle parenting with permsissive parenting a lot which is also not good. This parenting thing is a life long journey. Learning how to communicate with my kids and be the best mom for them is really what I am working on so hard rn. More please! ❤

[@SergiiMoiselleCLana]

new podcast ep to listen to!! isang upuan ko lang yung 3 episodes and i really learned a lot!! thanks for making this. Looking forward for more episodes!!

[@muentertainmentph]

Thank you for the love and support! 💜

[@JoanneBataanon]

More episodes like this pls!!! Btw, I miss u Miss Aryn❤ Laging nalabas sa FYP ko siAtty. And Miss Inka but Ikaw DNA 😢

[@darkcrozz]

I think it's normal lang Naman yang ganyan method, Tska discipline Kasi ang unang pinapahiwatig kapag napapalalo ka, Kaya ok lang sakin, Kasi nowadays right now, Kids are very spoiled and too soft anything... Lalo pat kapag technology gadgets. Miss ko ung old days Just watch regular TV and play out door with friends.

[@AlainBundalian]

Paglumaki ang batang napalo mas may disiplina pero di lahat. Nanay ko napapalo ako kasi bago matulog maghugas magsipilyo. Natutong gumawa ng gawaing bahay. Lahat natikman ko. Pero lumaki akong kaya kung mag-isa. Organize mga gamit ko kasi yun ang natutunan ko dahil napapalo ako pag di ko nagagawa o makalat ako

[@michaeljollymacabalitao9989]

solid ng episode nato, more power papo sir and mga madam.

[@thecatlady2341]

Im learning a lot about things that happened to me growing up and i just cant help it to be teary eyed in this episode.. i dont want to have kids because of the broken home and abuse from my mother, brother and aunt, taking care of a family i didnt made and i have a lot of genetics that i dont want to pass on. i am not healed and the abuse is ongoing so maybe in the future but not anytime soon.

[@RonCHICHA]

nakakatuwa magbasa ng comments from all walks of life. nkakarelate tayo lahat from all across generations. KEEP IT UP GUYS! NEW SUB HERE.

[@otepgruspe9199]

Was born '74! Lumaki s palo. Pinalaki ko din mga anak ko s Palo. Now my kids are 30 and 25yr/o and they're are more better kids than any other kids at their age especially where we are living now.

[@InkaMagnaye]

Ok but they also could have been good if they weren’t hit. There are kids raised on palo who did not become good. Palo is not the reason a kid becomes good or bad, but it is a reason for trauma. You will see evidence of this in this comment section.

[@doyoungkim8436]

Define "they're more better kids than any other kids at their age", obviously hindi palo ang nagpabuti sakanila and even if what you say is true, there's a lot of ppl out there like these three that are very well-off and successful now and hindi naman sila product ng "palo" so if you were given the chance na pwede pala maging successful at better ang anak mo without "palo" bakit kailangan gawin? Right?

[@deeLucas1612]

I would like the parenting style of Lorelie in Gilmore Girls. Sometimes you have to raise the Mom card in situation where you have to go out of your way to”friendship”.

[@ma.gabcreleeraldo9404]

I cant explain how much i love listening to these 3❤. Sana may podcast din and more episodes please

[@sunheepark4881]

I think me and my siblings are a good example of different parenting styles. We were 5 siblings, yun eldest namin, I saw how my parents disciplined her abusively through palo( as in kung saan sya tamaan ng pamalo) and verbally. so she grew up rebellious and jealous with us na mga kapatid nya. My Ate's life became miserable which was passed on to her kids. Then kami na 4 is hindi naman ganun maybe because lumaki na sa takot mga kapatid ko. I was the youngest and the favorite. I grew up na nasa abroad ang father ko. My memory of my Mom din is mabait, matulungin, generous to the point na nawalan kmi ng mga ari arian s pagka gullible nya.

[@sunheepark4881]

Cont...I remember I was in 5th or 6th grade in elementary. I was playing with my friends then a bully came. Sinapak ko sya kahit lalaki and super laki sya. Tapos nalaman ng Mom ko pinagsabihan ako na wag ako mananakit. Then nung ng eexplain ako sabi ng Mom ko i need to be kind and patient. 😂 So, I grew up na mahina di lumalaban kahit imanipulate. Then I realized that my Mom and Dad didn't raise me well. Yes, my friends and relatives will say i'm kind, generous mabait nakuha ko traits ng Mom ko. Pero kapag inaaubuso i don't fight, i gave the impression to others na wala ako capability na lumaban.

[@sunheepark4881]

You know what I mean, we grew up without backbones. Dati our neighbors view us as a perfect family pero di nila alam how broken we were inside. I learned how to talk to people when I was already in HS.

[@sunheepark4881]

Now i have kids of my own, i discipline and teach them kabaligtaran ng mga nakalakihan ko. It's like eating fish, throw the bones eat the meat. because I want to break the cycle ayoko na maging katulad sila ng Mom ko and ako na traumatized and I don't want them to be diagnosed of depression and anxiety like me. So I teach them to be kind, generous and patient but use their taekwondo skills when they encounter bullies and bad people. 😂

[@sunheepark4881]

Gentle parenting is the best. A child needs reason, they were created to be full of why's so that the adults can give them answers and reasons why they(kids) need to be disciplined. And yes the rod which the Bible is talking about is guidance If you spoil and don't guide your kids they will go astray.

[@muentertainmentph]

Thank you so much for your POV! 🎙

[@aryastark3244]

Tawang tawa ako sa trashtalk hahaha pero kiddin' aside, may epekto sa bata ang physical discipline. Sometimes it goes to cycle then pasa-pasa na in the next generations. The only way to heal the trauma and to cut the cycle really depends on the kid as they mature. As soon as they learned the cause-and-effect of physical discipline, gentle parenting comes along. Love this trio! Looking forward to more episodes. 🙂

[@muentertainmentph]

Thank you! Episode 3 has just been released a couple of hours ago, we'd appreciate it if you give it a watch!

[@vilclintonferrer8778]

Learning so much from this podcast. Very entertaining pa. Concern lag ako na parang di sila comfortable na nakaupo to speak sa mic. If pwede sna na more laidback chill ang likod 😁

[@margauxdom6960]

I had a teacher back in elementary school who would pick on this one underprivileged kid. We never understood but he would always get mad at him for the smallest reasons. I remember one time, the kid went to school & forgot his assignment- mind you, we were YEAR 5. This teacher got very mad, got the kid’s back, flipped it upside down, trashed his things, & threw his bag out the window. I’m about to graduate now in college & I will never forget that moment.

[@muentertainmentph]

Noooooooo, this is so sad. 😞

[@cristhinemae]

I like them sobrang informative at ang tapang ng opinion and entertaining pa❤

[@ralphrodriguez0215]

love the 3 of you guys, sana consistent sa weekly contents. Love you guysss

[@annemarizdelacruz2838]

Mine was no gentle parenting, instead, a silent distant parenting hahaha which made me this way lol when I'm in pain/hurting I just go silent and distance myself especially to my partner. Happy to have a partner who's very gentle and understanding when I go like that. My partner was the one doing the gentle parenting to me now lol

[@muentertainmentph]

Cuteeeee!

[@jonathandelapunta9149]

Lumaki ako sa palo and agree ako na depende talaga sa bata kung magrerebelde or magttanda sa palo. Tho iba din yung bugbog, pagpalo kaso more on 1 to 2 hits 😅, also I got a 2yr old daughter na kapag naglilikot or may nagawa(ex. Throwing her bottle or toy etc) pinagsasabihan ko lang not with a gentle voice but with my normal voice. Wala din ksi effect yung pagalit na tono sa ganung edad.

[@Liyag0322]

I love this episode. This is timely. I love your opinions about parenting. Lucky children who have gentle parents. I'm almost 50 years old and grew up with corporal punishment at home, super strict father, you'll get hit even with small mistake. It's Traumatic. I am raising my kids and trying my best to be a gentle parent but it's hard to be gentle when you grow up in an ungentle family atmosphere. I always read self help books in raising my children. And I always pray 🙏 to be a good mother to my children.

[@kenbelieverfayth]

Naisip ko tuloy yung trauma ng "PALO" to humans and even animals. Dahil mas open na ito pagusapan ngayon kesa noong araw, i feel bad that I have done this. I'm not a parent talaga pero sa pamangkin ko namalo ako and sa mga pets. Pero I hope yung mga taong nakakulong pa sa trauma na ito sana maintindihan nila bakit nangyari ito and sa taong namamalo sana may kalakip na paliwanag ito.

[@snow2480]

I wonder how it feels like to be raised in such an ideal environment to never been hit or verbal abuse to be raised through gentle parenting, open communication. 39:31 this is my mindset I’ve experienced the other side of the spectrum and experienced/gone through things that I would not rather other people experience/go through esp my own child (if ever) it’s like I have this mindset that this is wrong and this cycle has to stop in me.

[@stephysano7446]

This podcast made me realize many things 😅 especially sa work environment and the parenting. Growing up napakatraditional ng parents ko kapag pasaway ka palo or suntok ang kapalit na ang naging result naging inferior ako sa mga kawork ko nga kasi ako ang pinakabata samin. Di nakakatuwa ung nararanasan ko ngayon na hirap sa trabahong di ako masaya. Papasok ka for the sake na need mo ng pera for your parents at para sa sarili ko. Tangina lang hahahahh Pinipilit mong maging maayos na katrabaho meron at meron pa rim talagang kukupal sayo. 😂

[@worldwidechubbyguy2.018]

actually when people say gen z is weak, that talks more about their mental health - meaning that someone they are now more sensitive and is very prone to mental health issues. Hope this was further discussed - especially after the pandemic where some gen z tend to isolate themselves. Another perspective is that because of the way millenials are treated (with palo), they are "stronger." Gen zs tend to use social media a lot which impacts their mental health. Very nuanced conversation that we need to tackle the future.

[@Leonoravmb]

This is actualy one of the reason why at the age of 29, I still don't want to have a child. I grew up without any good adult surrounding us. Every single one of them seems doesn't know what they were doing in life but had and was having kids at the same time. I had acquired a lot of bad habits growing up, especially when both my parents died. Until now, I can't still foresee myself being a good parent just because I never had the chance of having one. Kahit sino, mapa parents ko pa or older relatives, wala talaga eh hahahaha. So if someone ask me why I still don't have one, the answer will always be that I didn't grow up having a good parent so I still don't know how to become one yet. I can do all the physical, financial and being a present parent, easy peasy. However, I feel like, having a child is so precious that I would want to do it right the first time. I feel like I have to be mentaly and emotionally prepared when having one. Another thing is that, I can't give up the freedom I have rn (which was taken to me earlier in childhood) for another person's sake yet. Growing up in a dysfunctional family realy fucks up someone's future. Although we have the power to choose now, our choices are still being affected by how we were brought up and it instills fear that we might smh repeat the toxic cycle to our future family. Relearning this aspect in my life takes a toll because I had to reopen old wounds just to overcome this shit. lol. I still have a looong journey to take before I can finally say I can now be an "adult" to parent a child. It may or may not happen, who knows? For now, I'm just living my life how I want it rn.

[@cosecant2860]

Currently the best trio in podcast rn.

[@muentertainmentph]

We couldn't agree more!

[@IchieMae]

I experienced dragon parenting instead. I was a total prankster and pasaway back then. Cutting classes, telling lies just to bathe in the sea, skipping lunch to save up for magazines, smoking and drinking, name it. But my mom never gave up on me until I became this prim and proper woman. Now, I'm easily irked by unwritten etiquette breakers to which I'm totally proud.

[@EmDelaCruz-b6n]

Probably the best way to discuss this is having a guest who is practicing gentle parenting.

[@InkaMagnaye]

The three of us are products of gentle parenting :)

[@YoursTruly-h1u]

I cackled on the last part where miss Inka said “imagine you’re always putting your kid down, tapos pag laki nya ‘oh bag di ka confiden’”. I feel like one common narrative that a lot of Filipino parents believe in is the idea that belittling and comparing their kids to other kids (close friends, relatives, etc.) will somehow make their child develop a sense of determination to do better. Although for some cases it might work, but I feel like it’s such a cruel way of motivating someone, especially a kid who at such a young age is trying so hard to receive validation. I feel like most kids who grew up being compared to others or just generally grew up with such negative enforcement, take such a longer time developing a sense of self. Parents should be more mindful about the comparisons that they make. Most of the time those comparisons aren’t taken as words of encouragement, but rather words that inflict self-doubt. I remember my dad once told me “I’m discouraging you to encourage you” what kind of fucked up shit is that. Apparently, that was him challenging me to “prove him wrong”. First of all, the reversed psychology is not reversing. Second, thanks for listening to my Ted Talk :) !! Cheers!

[@muentertainmentph]

Thank you for sharing! Cheeers! 🍻

[@ayraperalta]

Just watched episode 1 and 2 and I think this is the best podcast ever. I agree to what Aryn said that there are people who really are resistant to any form of correction and all you can do for them is share your POV and it’s up to them to take action or not. Also to add, I grew up in a catholic environment and up to now, I have a church community that I actively participate in, but I don’t necessarily agree with every religious view we have like regarding divorce, homosexuality, abortion, etc. It also irritates me when someone weaponizes the church or uses the bible to justify the things they do (like the “honor your mother and father” issue with Carlos Yulo). On the other hand, I also don’t like it when people generalize catholics as people who are uptight or self-righteous because there are many of us who also think rationally and are very open minded when it comes to these things. And I don’t think that the church is perfect. It’s not and it will never be. Because the church is not a museum of saints, it’s a hospital for sinners. I obviously have a lot of things to say lol. And I do think it would be a great idea to guest people who have first hand experience regarding your topics.

[@Amorette777]

I agree, those who have children and share their parenting experiences.

[@laurenivyhiquiana9261]

love the show ❤ I am a mom borderline Gen X -Millennial ; 2 sons; Genz and Gen A. 🤪

[@akosiregorr]

I am gay and grew up with an abusive father -- verbal and physical. He's an ex-convict -- commando pa, so you can imagine kung ganon grabe gulpi inaabot namin. Akala ko 'non okay lang lahat, then itong 30+ na ako nagmamanifest lahat psychologically. If not on medication, I always dream of him na ginugulpi ako or I am someone na takot sa kanya. I was diagnosed with Bipolar and PTSD because of all the traumas he gave me and my siblings.

[@trixziee_zoreta]

I just wish sometimes that they would rather leave me physical bruises that can fade away after a week, than mental bruises that I have no choice but to carry until my very last breath.

[@samanthacristinarodrigo7658]

Kakapalo sa akin despite my reasons and facts provided are true and correct, lumaki ako matigas ulo at matapang, because I know what is right and my parents are weak. Unfortunate to grow up with the wrong parents for me.

[@jennyannpacardo368]

Thank you guys! Just keep it coming. This is starting to be my therapyyyyy 😂❤

[@muentertainmentph]

Aweee! We love to hear this! Thank you so much! 🎙💜

[@darleneflores2862]

I think meron talagang bata na kaya sa gentle parenting. And my mga bata na hindi nadadala sa pakiusap. My tita have 5kids. I raised 3 with her and yung 1 sobrang pasaway (3rd child) and di nacocontrol hanggat di pinapalo. Yung isa never napalo kasi nakakausap ng maayos (she's the fourth child). Tapos yung bunso both sya. Pero di ko alam. Parehas naman lumalaki na ng maayos.

[@deeLucas1612]

I want and pray to be like Inca’s parents 06:30. Effective communication and emotional bonding talaga ang foundation ng discipline.

[@blessieloreto7395]

I feel like parenting also differs to each of economic status of a family. May factor yung mindset ng parents on how they grew up and what they want for their child. I think it would be best if there will be guests on this podcast na pwedeng makabigay ng input from other perspective na wala sila. Seems like all of the hosts didnt gone through other life difficulties na magiging relatable sa ibang estado ang buhay. Just my POV 😅

[@primapauline7897]

I grew up with all kinds of punishment… I understand that these are products of anger… in hindsight, that’s why i grew up trying to make my parents happy, kasi mahirap pag galit sila 😂 Now, I don’t believe physical punishments are a good disciplinary tool. It was fine with me before and i ended up ok and still love my parents. Pero ngayon? I don’t think so. Better to reward good behaviours than to punish stupidity.

[@MrRalphshih]

Different people, different beliefs, for me discipline your children accordingly.

[@gopiceat5052]

I love this show sooooo much!!😭😭😭

[@winstonnavarro3819]

More episodes with 3 of you please ❤

[@kaonel3626]

Sana soon ma topic din nila yung pregnancy and postpartum phase

[@jubelea6468]

I had a childhood friend na pinapalo siya ng parents niya to the point na hindi na siya makalakad. Because of the trauma, nagkaroon siya ng rheumatic heart disease. Pinatawag na rin sila sa barangay for child abuse, pero she doesnt want to defend herself so walang naging repercussion sa parents.

[@Benefitofthedaw]

A new show to look forward to. Aylavet!!!

[@Gamjat08]

Kainis yung mga ibang 90’s kids glorifying the tough love parenting style.

[@alexism4852]

Can't wait for their next episode on POV..

[@watusi19yt20]

i am a product of parents who are very batas militar ang way of parenting. And that made me not want to have a child just because they always tell me "pag nagkaanak ka na maiintindihan mo ako" pag katapos ako bugbugin :) hahaha well sorry to my parents i wont have one. Isa pa its really a scary world for a child for me even rn. I also got sexually abused by some kamaganak too. Those people take my innocence away even up to now my parents dont know about it maybe until in my grave. Made me hate myself. But gladly i am a little better now. :))) just to people who want to have their own child please protect them. be their person to run to not the one who they will be afraid of.

[@muentertainmentph]

🥺🥺🥺 Hoping and praying for your continous HEALING! Thank you for sharing your story with us; we hope our show brings you some comfort. 💜