power phrases for toxic people | take back your power

[@TheWizardOfWords]

HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!

[@TT-zo6px]

I'm so glad I came across your channel for a reason SUBSCRIBED

[@nothingworksworks3511]

From someone who walks out of parties, jobs & friendships at the slightest hint of RUDE---I've been changing my life one video at a time. THANK YOU & HAPPY HOLIDAYS

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are welcome, nww :)

[@RachelLWolfe]

"I just put it in God's hands." "Why? He put it in your hands. Don't be rude!" 😂😂😂😂😂

[@kathryncainmadsen5850]

That both validated the inner outrage I feel when people behave like that AND gave me loving tactics that will help! What a fine line to walk. Nice.

[@tbrowntracyj]

Omg the approach to challenging conversations IS AMAZING

[@tbrowntracyj]

Don't miss this one the man knows his stuff

[@kamenmusic7614]

You bring humor to the messiness of dealing with toxic family. It's very good medicine!💖

[@StillGamingTM]

My own communication style leans more towards de-escalation n stuff but listening to these videos and fantasising about conversations actually going down like this sure as hell is hilarious 🤣

[@anthonymays9287]

He sounds like one of those people that makes those types of comments lol. Just kidding man ,lighten up

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Ya got me, Anthony. Don't tell.

[@anthonymays9287]

@@TheWizardOfWords 😜 jk

[@juneelle370]

Yes! Definitely good medicine! Communication is spiritual 🙌 and it requires loving, truthful craft

[@amberklein1560]

❤Fantastic examples of, "No one can offend you without your consent."

[@mamaw9634]

Where have you been all my life?? I am grateful for your honest straightforward communication-

[@Xianne027]

💯%!!

[@jayc6159]

I wasn’t allowed to attend last year’s family gathering over my medical choice. This year I’m “allowed” to come. The older I get the more I realize my time is better spent in healthy relationships over trying to force dysfunctional ones out of guilt of family obligations. On the bright side I will be spending holidays this year with friends instead who accept me the way that I am and there won’t be a need practice “power phrases”.

[@KW-onceuponatime]

@Jay C That is wonderful that you will be spending the holidays with friends instead of family who excluded you last year. They showed you who they were/are, and they made their choice, and it must be very sweet to refuse their offer of being "allowed" again. How arrogant some people have been and still are over those who don't see things the way they think we should. Blessings to you, and I hope it's the best holiday season ever for you!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

KW said it perfectly.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

KW--perfect response.

[@KW-onceuponatime]

@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you so much! ❤️

[@sarah9044]

Gotta laugh at the "pandemic amnesty" crap they're spewing now...

[@theclaybeartravels3596]

This is the most eye-opening vid I've seen. At 3:11, you perfectly explain what has been ailing me in my relationships with abusive employers. For example, in my last job, I quit because I couldn't stand that the boss frequently called me slow and he frequently called me a child or made disparaging remarks ("are you lost"). I tried to ignore him because if I did, he would see that his comments don't affect me, and he would stop. No, he never stopped. I tried asking a lawyer about what I should do, and the lawyer said, unfortunately, as long as he doesn't violate harassment laws, then he is free to treat you in any way he sees fit. I asked a psychiatrist what I should do, and his dumb reply was to read a book by a guy that talks with puppets in his hands, and I need to learn how to turn on my giraffe ears and reply with love. I eventually just quit, but it has bothered me to this day why other people can get along with that guy and why I couldn't. I can't help but think every day about what I was doing wrong. How can I get him to treat me with respect like the other people he treats? This video helps me a lot! So now that I think about it this. Here's where I could have handled this situation differently. My boss sees that I'm looking for the plastic wrap. He says, "are you lost." Just as you said, I need to be grateful, "Thank you for pointing that out, I am lost," I said. Then I need to say my intent, "I am looking for the wrap." Then I can add on the F and the T. "I fail to see how pointing out how lost I am helps me find something in this unorganized back room, could you help me, and while we're at it, do you have any ideas on how to organize this back room any better." How does that sound?

[@TheWizardOfWords]

It sounds great!

[@sandymakesplans]

i clutch my pearls at dan's professionally eloquent clapbacks everytime

[@Xianne027]

You and me both! 👍

[@elizabethfree5294]

This needs to be sung from the rooftops! This is one of the most emotionally intelligent and healthy videos I've watched in a long time. Most of these battles are not with other people, but with ourselves....between our ears.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks, Elizabeth, and you may feel free to share from the rooftop! Or from your computer, whichever works best.

[@rockjockchick]

@@Loyaltyaboveallelse sometimes that is best. Especially if they are narcissist.

[@learnSelf-honor]

Well said. I agree.

[@jenshark4]

@@Loyaltyaboveallelse I completely understand. To leave family is like leaving a cult. They try to guilt trip you into staying around them even when they’re toxic. it’s really their loss. Not yours. Just because they want to have things the way they’ve always been doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

[@bindwsaruraw]

@@TheWizardOfWords pp

[@jaywellington6504]

KZbin has hundreds of good channels to watch. Not enough time in the day to get to them all. This channel tops my list of "MUST WATCH" every day. If I can improve my life, state of mind, and help me get through the day, well, I can’t think of anything more important than that.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Wow, that's quite a testimonial, Jay--and thank you.

[@Xianne027]

Spot on! Like where has this guy been hiding all my life? Geez, Dan! I'm old enough to be your mom and you're turning my life around!

[@LinYouToo]

This is brilliant. I can’t wait to try this out. I know someone who is social circles likes to monopolize a conversation by talking at a group of people. Then he will abruptly stop and look at one of us and say something like you’re being awfully quiet, and then direct the person to talk as if he’s in control. Next time this happens to me I’m gonna practice the GIFT: G express gratefulness I: i’m sure you’re intention isn’t to focus on people not speaking F instead of directing me to talk now, what would be helpful is if we all took turns expressing what we’re grateful for as we begin 2024. T thank you for participating in this conversation, I’d be happy to go first.

[@carbonfootprint3635]

I just love this man's expertise, his delivery, sense of humour and dignity. One in a million!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

This man thanks you, big time Carbon.

[@drea4195]

People don't always challenge you from a place of honesty, or from a place of concern for your best interests. Not by a long shot. Some people really do try to stir the pot so to speak. Source: learned the hard way. ETA: the visual cues tip is brilliant!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Drea, you may well be correct. However, sometimes when you give them the benefit of the doubt, they switch canoes midstream and paddle your way :)

[@rockjockchick]

That’s the truth.

[@kathryncainmadsen5850]

You know, I learned this when I was studying acting: NO villain thinks they are the bad guy. ALL villains justify themselves. So it seems as if validating their positive self-image, maybe it pulls them toward the light, but even if that is hopeless, what this would do is deflect their attack and defend yourself without getting defensive.

[@donnalazza8429]

Dan, you’re so funny! You know the part where you were telling your sister how proud you are of her, tears came to my eyes.. Dan, you are a talented writer. How many people can make someone laugh and cry all in a range of a few minutes.. I also have to say, this post has such a substantial message. Five stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you, Donna :) :)

[@WorkingProgress17]

I wish I had found you years ago. I'm already using so many techniques at home. I have always had trouble communicating and just hearing proper advice is so helpful.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Most of the advice I give and mentoring I do is applicable to home as well as the workplace.

[@user-wj3yr7xr2f]

I LOVE your approach to this. I think people say rise above it because they are afraid of conflict. But then they are stuck there. I DO deal with my battles and people get stressed out from just watching me stand up for my self.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Kudos, S--for standing up for yourself.

[@cristinaevans139]

Me too 😂

[@rs5570]

Guess you don’t need these videos then.

[@suzannedawson6330]

I love it! Gratitude for all interactions. Horrible people can be the best teachers in life. Even if all they do is show us how to never be.

[@SD-mo4io]

Dan: checking in to say: this is the video that started my Dan O'Connor journey. I have been singing your praises on the regular. I become a supervisor this past fall in an office that has had systemic conflict issues for years that were never addressed. They are significant and entrenched but I am committed to making the environment better. YOUR videos have helped me remember who I am when dealing with the biggest of my challenges. I have been applying the tips from other videos: The broken record has saved my sanity; making it a point to say sincere compliments about others has contributed to me the most popular at work than I have been before; our Executive's front office stopped me in the hall after a particularly tense email exchange with a series of difficult people and thanked me for "being so diplomatic." (not a compliment I commonly received before). I find myself generally better able to not get riled up to begin with and recover quicker when that happens. I tell anyone who I can get to listen: Dan O'Connor. He gives you the words!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well thank you so much, SD. I'll do my best going forward to give you the words, so you can continue to spread the words and together we'll raise the global dialogue one conversation at a time :)

[@DEAH-01]

I have been a psych RN for years , I work in management. I've been praying for some guidance somehow to deal with very toxic coworkers ( just started a new job ) ... 🙏, Thank you . All I can think of is that episode of Seinfeld that has festivus for the rest of us ... Absolutely the best " training " I've had 🙏

[@AmandaPufpaff]

Brilliant BRILLIANT!!! I’ve always been so meek and quiet trained since a child to be proper respectful yada yada yada, but one thing that really gets under my skin is the passive aggressive comments from certain people within my own family and the in-laws. I’m going to have to start practicing my responses in the mirror

[@edgreen8140]

Love the acronym. I definitly am not greatful for their verbal abuse. But it can show us our unhealed wounds thats the only positive thing. Never defend just observe; make a mental note. Inner child work can reduce your wounds. Gift. Narrate the scene. Fail " i can't see how this behavior will result in anything constructive- I know your not trying to embarrass me. Oh boy that ending of i probably don't mention how wonderful your successes are.

[@janiced.hatcher1272]

Your voice is free of stress, sarcasm, attitude, tone changes, and that gab we often speak with, that says, I don't mean what your hearing. It takes restraint, smooth speaking, quick thinking and the ability to transition like a gymnast on the parallel bars. It's like interllectual dominance, wits without attitude, and a slap in the face with words designed to be the hand.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

And like that gymnast--it takes PRACTICE. BTW--pretty colorful imagery there, Janice!

[@sharondoan1447]

I am impressed, Janice. Skillfully worded!

[@jillmtaylor9229]

Dan, I admire your communication skills. Thankful you share them! Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a blessed and prosperous New Year❣️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Jillmtaylor, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and blessed and prosperous New Year as well!

[@kta0702]

Sometimes I end up going over old conversations and arguments in my head defending myself from people who I felt was trying to target me so I lashed out and now as I’m getting more info on how to speak it’s insane how things can go so differently when you articulate better . Because honestly in the past I just wanted people to see how great a human being I am and when my character got attacked then my ego felt bruised and hurt

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You always feel better when you can set your ego aside, don't you?

[@77Tadams]

I see that in myself. I wish I could get to more tolerance of people. I am an isolator. I think I communicate best writing because I can sit awhile and think about how I feel before I open my mouth. A delay and pause helps me compose myself. When people hit hot buttons-my family does it on purpose in a passive aggressive way usually-I open my mouth and deliver some of the most stupidest regretful responses. Dans channel helps though. Seeing a therapist has also helped me figure out the drama triangulation too in my family of origin dynamic. I have grown, but sometimes my anger gets the best of me still with certain people.

[@rockjockchick]

@@77Tadams maybe do the conversation imagining you are writing your response?

[@LaFemmeNkechi]

Yes, go back over the scenario and apply the technique in your head. Imagination is a powerful tool and your body does not know the difference between real life and imagined life.... so do a Re-do and release it.... but with love and watch reality follow suit and notice the changes and be grateful....

[@JojoSails]

I got more out of this, than I have in 7 months of therapy! Thank you 👏🏻 ❤

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I am both flattered and gratified. Thanks, Payana.

[@jennyanderson4796]

like a scene out of a Christmas special , almost had me well up with tears , very moving-the what are we grateful for part .

[@gentlej8865]

You are the doctor of communication defects and deficiencies. Thank you very very much for shedding light on this overlooked area which have an important role in determining the quality of our life. We really appreciate your work👍👍👍

[@sebastiangeorge2711]

Aqw

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are very welcome, Gentle J.

[@SydMountaineer]

Oh yes, he is. He’s also a sage, a guru, who, besides giving us knowledge about communication, he helps us to be seekers & practitioners of love.

[@kathhollandful]

“Words that are in you, but not of you”. If I remember nothing else, I’ll be searching for those words. Thank you so much for this.

[@MeganMingler]

Dan O’Connor is the best! Thank you for your hard work, time, wisdom and guidance Dan. I am immensely grateful for you and your channel. I feel as if you are speaking directly to me. 👍 🥰 🙏 🏆

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks, Megan. I hope you consider becoming a channel member :)

[@pelletier4432]

Less than 30 seconds and I'm already cracking up. This is gold!

[@daylight1440]

This video is so hilarious and very informative. I love the commentary and subtle Christmas music in the background while you’re seamlessly putting people in their place. Lol 😂

[@LynnSandler-j9k]

Love your humor--keep it going

[@dottyp137]

What a refreshing philosophy you have. ‘Don’t put it in God’s hands, he just put it in yours’. I’m taking that to the bank 😊

[@alenacombs3658]

Thank you Dan for another great communication training video. I have a hard time finding words to say as a rebuttal especially with family, so I find myself staying quiet to keep the peace. These were great tips.❤️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to help, Alena.

[@reneedesrosiers7447]

Me too. Child of divorce...trying to keep peace my whole life

[@iawarenow658]

why keep the peace with maybe ''evil people''' that is how family cycles of abuse is allowed to happen.. remove the BPDs in your life and go no contact is best..

[@mariankeller5852]

Sometimes being silent is a blessing..it gives your foe time to destroy themselves

[@nicolecarnevale3226]

Given the benefit of the doubt while acknowledging a kernel of truth while staying assertive! Beautiful!!

[@Supershark83]

You are the master of the snappy comeback, well- aimed, clever and to the point 👏 👏👏👏👏👏

[@lydiar.parsley1677]

What a gift you’re giving! Thank youuuu

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to help!

[@VickyLynn3]

Dang, this is spot on!!! I have been shrinking away from these gatherings due to all of the disconnections in our family. Going to do this! I am grateful for this GIFT.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to share it with you, Vicky.

[@ritalawson7020]

Keep away you don't have be with weird people

[@sharisimonehampton5434]

I am moved from this lesson here today...a few tears even. Thank you. I'm showered in love from your shared blessings. I pray that love continues to rain upon you so you will continue to be able to teach so many the value the gift of love holds. We were created with this very intention! And the joys it will bring to all. So hard to be human. Kindred in spirit❤ ✌&❤2U!!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many many thanks, Shari, and I hope you're still sharing :) :)

[@Delgado-ot4lq]

The holiday music in the background while narrating the scene is gold :) Bonus points if you can have that in such situations!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well, if you go to KZbin on your phone and just play these videos during your holiday gatherings . . . .

[@carbonfootprint3635]

The background music made me laugh! Classic.

[@ginaroberts2964]

I just came across this video, it's amazing how simple we can turn a situation around - the hard part is stopping, breathing and remembering GIFT! I love the tip on having a visual cue. New subscriber!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks and welcome, Gina.

[@christycessna2821]

I absolutely love this episode; it is amazing and you are amazing! I have learned so much from you!!! Thank you for putting out such great content and all that you do!

[@The_Little_Red_Fox]

Thank you Dan 🧡

[@Giselle-jx3xr]

Oh my God I love your sense of humour..

[@LynnSandler-j9k]

Thank you for sharing

[@vlw4165]

Man, I need to watch this video ten times a day for about a solid month to get this thoroughly learned. So helpful, especially for a life-long wimp and occasional verbal punching bag. Thanks!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad it was helpful! And if you're a punching bag--PLEASE GO OVER IT UNTIL YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR COMMUNICATION ARSENAL :)

[@sc4112]

This is the single most important communication video I’ve ever seen and I can’t imagine needing another after having seen this. Thank you for your expertise and insight. You’re changing the way I consider and respond to the monsters…eh…teachers in my life.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you, SC.

[@bambina3148]

Oh Dan, you’re amazing!! Thank you so much for helping me to make my point without going in all guns blazing!! Something I have struggled with my whole life.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Something most of us struggle with our entire lives, Bambina.

[@gsantini8518]

Wow, you're tips are wonderful. I just smile when family or friends do this. Since I won't engage my silence makes them uncomfortable and they stop, but I like your way better. Love always wins. You ROCK!

[@Pipsterz]

Thank you Dan. Your observations to navigate communications are appreciated always. I love your sense of humor too. ♡

[@dclarke1896]

Thank you for sharing your knowledge! You make the best communication videos on KZbin! You have helped me so many times since I chock up easily when someone is being vicious. I'm surrounded by toxic people in my life so I get many opportunities to practice my communication skills. I have no words on how good it feels to transform negative energy into positive energy. Thanks again! Can you please make a video on how to handle a smear campaign? I got involved with someone romantically at work and when it didn't work out he chose to spread vicious lies and half truths about me for well over a year!

[@theantiquelittlegirl5891]

I just found you, liked & subscribed! I’m up there in years, but it’s never too late to learn something new, and get better at being a human!❤️

[@TheWizardOfWords]

My mother is 76 years old and claims to learn something new every day. However, I'm sure she makes most of it up. :) :). Hi Mom, if you're reading . . . . :) :)

[@jamiereife5581]

Your advice is epic. Thank you. It’ll take some practice but I’m into the GIFT.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome!

[@carolsully1093]

You're incredible. I still learning English and I think that these phrases are really helpful to deal with toxic people around me. Thank you so much.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are welcome, Carol.

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

The 1st few seconds got my attention - go on - lovin it so far lol - I want to thank you personally for this video! I naturally have comebacks but these are very helpful & I will definitely put some into action in the future!

[@childlikeinnocence09]

Thank you so much. I love your content. I am an operating room nurse. I would like to know what to say to physicians who are nasty, condescending, and demeaning. I believe wholeheartedly that we should speak lovingly to everyone, even people who are not showing love or respect in return but I do struggle on how to communicate love when dealing with difficult people. Thank you so much

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Childlike Innocent, this is a tough one. The best advice I can give you, in this tricky healthcare situation involving doctors and nurses is--remember that what they say and the way they treat people is about them, whereas your response is about you. You might consider speaking privately to the worst offenders--and if you do, remember to BE SPECIFIC with something such as "Dr. Porphyris, are you aware that when you call me names as you did this morning, it is demeaning and demoralizing to me? It makes it more difficult for me to do my job. I treat you with respect and ask that you treat me with respect as well." A. It might work and he/she may treat you differently going forward. B. He/she might become defensive and even worse going forward. You run a risk. HAVING SAID THAT, i would like to remind you that not all doctors and not all hospital atmospheres are alike. You might consider looking for a healthier working environment--no pun intended. My grandmother and sister-in-law were both nurses. My grandmother once told me that she knew my sister-in-law was an excellent nurse because when necessary, she had no fear about telling off the doctors. I DON'T RECOMMEND THAT, but I know my SIL was fearless, and she was a good nurse from all reports. My grandmother also informed me that it was nurses who save patient lives by their care and attention to details--LONG AFTER THE DOCTORS HAVE DONE THEIR THING. :) :)

[@heidimartin5070]

Hi fellow nurse! I understand your concerns and feel your pain. Retired RN here. I’ve experienced these incidents too many times, too many to remember. But now, looking back in my calm and quiet retirement I want to ask you to maintain your dignity and respect for yourself. Every time these incidents took place I took the bait and was defensive. Inevitably this turned into a back and forth that left me feeling even more hurt and diminished. It wasn’t worth it! Management turns a blind eye because the doctors bring in the revenue and profits. They’ll trade you in a moment for a doctor and you’ll be out the door. So be respectful of yourself first of all, don’t respond. That’s what they want! Maintain your professional conduct and courtesy at all times. You are helping the patients through a very difficult time and that’s your purpose. You are not there to be a whipping dog for some insecure surgeon. When you don’t respond eventually they’ll leave you alone and find some other poor subject to shame and harass. Stay strong! Much love for a fellow nurse!

[@sharondoan1447]

When I began working as a registered nurse in 1972, the doctor nurse relationship was 1000% different than it is today.We wore stiffly starched white uniform dresses and proudly wore our school nursing cap. Doctors functioned in a elevated status of authority and entitlement that simply wouldn’t be expected or condoned in 2022. I am extremely happy to relate that my career , spent exclusively in teaching/ research hospitals, concluded on a very high note. The relationships between doctors and nurses evolved into a partnership of United patient centered care that did not leave room for rudeness and arrogance that went unchallenged. “ May I speak to you privately? “ became a two way street of working out workplace entitled and arrogant verbal attacks. Makes the whole team better for it! Nurses have a huge advantage, because they can quit. If the work environment is toxic, leave. At our university based facility, we had group conferences with certain doctors who seemed to be effective communication challenged. 😂

[@pdxoregon1]

BRILLIANT! I think I can face the holidays with my family now. We already had one yelling session yesterday, and it's not even Thanksgiving yet. I am hopeful now.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Wonderful! Happy to help, pd.

[@jenshark4]

If there’s already yelling going on maybe you could have alternate plans on the day of the family event and go do some thing for yourself instead. later you can connect with the family members that you want to connect with.

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

If you are sincere when you say these things, you can repare a relationship. And if you aren't sincere, you can still win by making the mean person feel really bad for having such a negative intention towards you.

[@nvaranavage]

And I have a suggestion for a video. This has been a conversation that has cropped up at every holiday dinner for the past two years. How should someone respond to demands from other family members (demands being made that are not done very kindly also) that definitely bring up the feeling the demand is being made to guilt you into doing it. For example: trying to guilt someone into hosting the holiday meal in their home when said person does not have the room to host 15 people nor be able to choose who get the pull out couch and everyone else has to get a hotel room. Even after these reasons have been given. This could also apply to solutions for situations or people that try to guilt others into volunteer work.

[@aliciatorres91]

Thank you for sharing your fantastic skills of communication! You’re so eloquent and cool! 🙏🌟

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome, Alicia, and thanks for writing :)

[@e2ndcomingsoon655]

I must truly thank you. My life has been so hard always finding these fast mean talkers. Never thought I could kind of put a shield of protection and yes I always returned the battle now I see it was always on my hands and for me! Wow! Thanks!!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're so welcome E. (I hope I can call you E :). It is such a relief to realize that WE are in charge of every relationship in our lives.

[@lisakukla459]

This is so good. I'm not quick on my feet like this, but I do think, with practice, I could be. Thank you so very much for making the downloads available to everyone. Things like flash cards and other pneumonic devices can truly make all the difference.

[@chanelfarchione2816]

I needed this, thank you

[@juneelle370]

So good!!! 💖 Loving communication like this should be taught in schools! 🏫

[@CherryBerryFashion]

That’s what I’m gonna start calling myself - “a savvy communicator” 😁 right onto my New Year’s resolution list, thanks! ❤️

[@e2ndcomingsoon655]

Thanks!

[@bryanholland6987]

I'm thankful my family gets together to have a good time. I can't imagine having anxiety over seeing my loved ones. I need to knock on wood now and hope that this is one lesson I don't have to receive from you. But at least I had the ammo one day if I'm wrong. I got your teachings if I need it.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Bryan, I'm glad you said you're thankful that your family is the way it is, because that is truly something for which to be grateful.

[@bryanholland6987]

@@TheWizardOfWords I'm lucky to have a good family. My parents were also my best friends. I was lucky enough to have a very happy childhood thanks to my parents and extended family. They say time flies by when you're having fun. My childhood went by in a flash. I wish it lasted longer.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Believe me, I hear you and feel the same way about my own family. I joke about my mother, but I treasure her--and she knows it. I felt the same way about my father who has moved along, but is still with us in one form or another :)

[@aikidoRick]

This is the best video ever. I am changing my thinking, and gaining respect because of this battle that God gave me! Thanks

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks so much for letting me know, Rick!

[@camfrancisco]

Great advice, thx so much

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome!

[@chimbob67]

This was your best video yet. So practical! Right to the point!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad you think so, K D and thank you for writing. Please share these videos. :)

[@celestehogan5907]

Your many voices are hysterical. Oh my .. you’re brilliant. You’re also an angel to remind us about our spirits of love and reconciliation !! Funnee angelllll

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thank you Celeste!

[@anneplowman9034]

Dan. Your content is as brilliant as it is hilarious. Love from MN!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Love right back at you from MN and from Mexico :)

[@Xianne027]

This guy is just brilliant! He just spews out helpful tips faster than I can think! 👍

[@kenyathefrugalDMV]

Love this! I strongly believe in the power of emotional intelligence. Your video is golden!

[@DaughterofDiogenes]

Omg I am so happy I found this channel. I wish I’d had it years ago. I can’t wait to use all of this.

[@NikkiSoFar]

Thank you! This is the best advice I’ve seen so I’m sharing it with everyone, plus I’m adding it to the “watch later” list because I plan on rewatching again & again! Plus I’m going to subscribe so I don’t miss any good advice. 😊

[@TheWizardOfWords]

WELL ALL RIGHT, NIKKI! You go! And thank you :)

[@kierstenh9225]

I am beyond grateful to you and you REALLY ARE A LIVING WIZARD! Thankyou from the Swiss ALPS!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are so welcome :)

[@VirgoKat]

Love your delivery !!! 🤗Started watching for the 1st time....30 seconds in..Liked ✅ 1 minute in Subscribed 🎊 Thank you KZbin Algorithm! 🤩

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Welcome aboard, Kathleen.

[@LonjeMarie7]

Thank you so many of us like myself need these coping skills and strategies because the holiday season its usually at least one person that you can’t stand at the holiday gathering and how do you deal with them ? Wow thank you we can shut them down and like you said witness a miracle it’s all about the comeback! Take back your power is what I was actually thinking and after the comment I saw it in the title of the video you are so correct take back your power!

[@pakpukik]

Simply superb

[@heidimartin5070]

Just stumbled into this video this morning! I’m grateful and eager to learn these skills. I’ll be back but you’ve set the bar very high. Thanks.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

I shall tread lightly across that bar because if I fall, I'll land hard. I KNOW I KNOW, I'm supposed to be raising it, not walking on it. COME BACK and check out other videos, Heidi. Subscribe already.

[@heidimartin5070]

@@TheWizardOfWords Subscribed! And I expect a lot!

[@tenacioustonya9639]

I appreciate this information and I love your wisdom and candor! Keep up the great work.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Many thanks, Tenacious.

[@stephaniepittaluga5057]

This is so great! Thank you ♥️

[@karnachristophercoldwellbanker]

I am dealing w a very condescending and nasty person in business right now and in searching for some help for how to deal w that super ego bully personality stumbled across you rvideo. Omg you are hilarious and I love this so much. I love the strategies but equally your sassy humor. Thank you!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You are welcome, and please feel free to share these videos.

[@miketurany2082]

So much to learn!!! So much to unpack in just seventeen minutes!!! Wow! I'm going to have to watch this a few times. AWESOME!!👍

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks, Mike. I hope you're a subscriber.

[@tarajoyce3598]

This channel popped up at a perfect time for me. Thanks!

[@lynettamurdoch5443]

Perfectly timed for me! God brought your video to me, as I’ve been in a quandary as to how to respond to a public text. Thank you!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Glad it was helpful!

[@guyincognito9698]

This is such a great formula! I feel much more confident dealing with this kind of situation now.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Happy to have helped, Guy.

[@nadiabeccaria1782]

Oh Lord, I wish I could get this stuff into my head so that I could definitively stop toxic female aggression. Give my brain the strength. I am so sick of the implicite rules required by certain prima donnas, that when they can’t control you, they begin to attempt to control how others see you.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Well said, Nadia--your last sentence--well said.

[@FairnessIsTheAnswer]

It's not all mental learning or the strength of your brain. We all get triggered to respond, and then emotions kick in. If we feel enough self-worth, that self-worth provides the strength. So, the strength you need will come from the value you give yourself. If we value ourselves, then that protects against being emotionally hurt. If we don't feel hurt, then we don't feel the need to flee or fight. There are various approaches to achieving a sense of self-worth. So, when we value and respect ourselves, that gives us strength, and then our mind is freed up to make better choices. More brain power is good if we have control over that power, so it's also an issue of control. Subconscious triggers that cause mindless responses are what get us out of control.

[@BczimHappy]

Thanks!

[@TheWizardOfWords]

And now I am happy too. Thank you so much, BCZ.im. Happy. I appreciate your generosity. You might want to check out the deep-dive training on my website danoconnortraining.com.

[@blackcat13xo]

I am so grateful for you, Dan! Thank you for another informative amazing video ❤

[@TheWizardOfWords]

Thanks for watching, Jessica.

[@cherylbarnes919]

Hi, Thank you so much for all your help. I love your content and delivery. I've watched this video 3xs. So very helpful!!! Game changer!!! One thing: You said, "They're there to help you. No one just makes that up." Perhaps you've never had to deal with a gaslighting narcissist. Sadly, I must tell you, they make things up, very mean things. They want to win and control at all costs. Grey rock works best for me in this scenario.

[@rockjockchick]

Ya. There is one of those in our family. He flat out told me he was perfect and believed it! Lol Thanks for the resource.

[@PeachesLemons]

“I’ll just put it in gods hands” WHY, he put it in your hands. Love this!

[@YvonneKawirammm]

Always looking forward to your uploads. This is very helpful. Thank you Dan !

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You're welcome and thanks for writing, Yvonne.

[@MissMelissa0007]

You are so on POINT! I need your help! Thank you! Thank you! I love your advice! :)

[@donnakennedy430]

Can you do a bit about how to deal with not having anything fun or positive to talk about with family at the holidays? How do I make sure the conversations stay focused on them and not get pressed into talking about all the medical drama? They aren't toxic or bragging. They have no concept of what it's like to have long-term medical drama. How it eats up all your time, energy, strength, and stamina. Every fun thing I've done this year has been with them. I have nothing left to talk about that is interesting/fun. I want this winter visit to be about their news/fun/etc.

[@TheWizardOfWords]

You can always talk about ideas, Donna. God knows there is enough going on in the world to hash over. How about the kids in the family--what are they doing, what are their goals, what are THEIR THOUGHTS on things?

[@FairnessIsTheAnswer]

Search for support groups with people who are in the same or similar situation as you. If you are able to share with your experience and struggles with the support group, that can help with the feeling that your family doesn't understand. It's normal to want our family to give us support and help, but unfortunately, that often doesn't happen.

[@jenshark4]

This is a tough one. I feel like people are always asking me about me. And I have no interest in telling them anything about my personal life. Sometimes when I see the barrage of questions coming I start asking them questions about their life and turn the conversation around.

[@donnakennedy430]

@@jenshark4 I can do this for an evening. Five days of being with them though. We'll be together pretty much from breakfast until after dinner. They can be put off/subject changed only so much before they become insistent.

[@annamay2152]

❤ ❤ love this video...best one you have done that I have seen ...thank you❤❤