Primitive Human Tribe vs Alien Fleet | Best HFY Stories

[@StarboundHFY]

What do you think about the sound effects in the story?

[@Immortal-Headcase]

Sound effects are very good, it adds to the ambience. The fact that you took your time to do so shows your dedication to the story. Thank you 👍👍.

[@grogvaughan5649]

A very welcomed addition to the story. Helps with the ambience

[@badbaud]

Nice addition, I love it

[@labelledamedumanor4876]

ACE!!!! 👍🏻

[@vulcancannon281]

Don't forget what attracted people... The voice, tone and quality stories...

[@MrsCaranAmy]

This was an amazing story tonight. Excellent narration. Thank you 🤗 🌟 🌌

[@StarboundHFY]

Thanks for listening!

[@cody-zy8zg]

Sounding good!

[@drcovell]

Good premise, but Wit-wandering and inconsistent.

[@vanguard9067]

Why did the Others make a cage of twisted branches and bone?

[@Serahpin]

The air seemed tangible? Well I hope so, otherwise how do you breath?

[@shadowpoet4398]

It was emphasizing the thickness of the air... You can't really "touch" air, it's always on us. Usually we ignore it, but we always feel it. When it's a cloud or super dense fog you CAN almost touch the air, it feels.

[@labelledamedumanor4876]

Meanwhile, in a different era, on a planet far from this one, a group of cowboys & native americans team up against demons from the sky.

[@diGritz1]

Sound effects were alright. Though, personally I think if your going to add effects like that you might as well make it something similar to a dramatized adaptation. Didn't really care too much for this one. It sounded as if someone watched Battlefield Earth and thought it's terrible, (and it is), but it's fixable, (no it isn't), The plot itself has too many inconsistencies. The aliens arrived in ships but what's the point of having ships if they have a warp gate planet side. If they are looking for some "thing" not someone then what's the point of keeping his people after they prob their minds? After they were done with them. Calling them "inheritors" makes no sense either. The ending that describes the interaction with Tela and him is a bit off. It made it sound as if she was left behind, "he" sprinted to the exit. There are also too many scene descriptions that cause story to drag on. I don't think the mcguffin worked well in the story either. It's not terrible maybe a 5 out of 10. There are certainly ways to fix some of the flaws but even if they were fixed, it would still only be a 6 or 7 out of ten. The short story form just doesn't suite so many variables that beg investigation.

[@Reh8111]

I would take a bet that the story was originally longer but has been chopped to shorten it. Shame it screws with the continuity. Spoiled the whole timeline of the story. Sad.

[@OldToughDW]

Whoever wrote this wrote from a perspective that has nothing to do with human nature or psychology, but from an idealistic and unrealistic perspective. They too k a story that could have been a tale of human triumph and turned it into a propaganda piece for women.

[@richardrejmer8721]

Stupid continuity mistakes in the story ALL OVER THE PLACE. . AI generated crap

[@KeyClavis]

Writer here. It's probably _not_ AI, just amateur. AI is new, so yes, you see a lot of it, but that doesn't mean that everything is AI. Sometimes (often (okay, REALLY often)) it's just amateur writing, especially when you see issues like this. Inconsistencies are incredibly common in early & amateur writing. It takes time and experience to write without inconsistencies and other errors, and that assumes that those issues are ever even pointed out to the writer. Often, they aren't, so the writer never learns. Even professional writers make mistakes like that. That's why editors, as a profession, exist. It usually takes longer to properly edit a story than it took to write it and it goes through multiple editing passes before it's ready for publishing. Public fan writing like you find on Reddit is rarely edited properly. They may proofread it and deal with grammar, spelling, and punctuation, but proofreading does nothing for the deeper issues like characterization errors, dialog problems, weak language, clarity issues, and structural issues like continuity errors, bad flow, concept/logic issues, and plot holes. That's a LOT of stuff that most writers on Reddit never touch so don't expect professional level writing from them. That said, amateur writers should be enjoyed and encouraged. Every writer out there started somewhere, and only stuck with it because someone told them they enjoyed their story. This story has flaws, but it was still enjoyable. I hope the author keeps going.

[@johnking8789]

Should ask for your money back!