Apology Research (2016 Rerun)

[@venglundify]

The worst part is that once you admit you did something wrong, the offended person refuses to let it go, making you not want to apologize for minor offences in the future. I don't mind apologizing and admitting when I did something wrong, but what really gets under my skin is when they repeatedly use it as a weapon when another conflict arises.

[@saloni9006]

I listen to the podcast on Spotify but I thought I should start coming back here to comment 1. Berto is so funny 2. Not that you need the confirmation but I agree Dr. Kirk is amazing at apologies 3. What constitutes a good apology in western psychology is so funny from the perspective of a culture of family systems where people will constantly abuse each other (lots of untreated generational trauma) and then like, cut a fruit for you with NO explanation as an apology and you’re expected to eat it and that’s you accepting and then you never talk about it again lol. The amount of times I’ve waited for someone to calm down and attempted to say things like “I acknowledge my part and I’m not blaming you, I would just like to discuss how what happened hurt my feelings so we can avoid hurting each other again” only to be met with violent reactions and complete shut downs of communication lol, when I was like 8 and shouldn’t have had to be the emotionally regulated, mature and communicative one and still failed Great episode as always! And I appreciate reruns, both because you produce such an extraordinary amount of content that I miss things sometimes and because I also like re-listening to older gems :)

[@Amber306-qa]

Interesting information on apologies, trusting that a friend doesn't mean harm after big fight, intiating apology, resisting the "but" after apologizing despite the temptation, and glad Berto was relieved to receive your text and immediately reconciled despite the initial fear that immediate communication might further damage the relationship due to just the heat of the moment..

[@marga7507]

Same here. My adult daughters just don’t talk to me. I’m shunned. Yet I’m supposed to apologize for something I don’t know if I know what it might be. Truly psychological abuse to old mom.

[@fran4636]

I very much appreciate the in-season peach standard roses in the thumbnail. Yes I'm a florist deep in wedding season.

[@ddw8787]

Very interesting, thanks for the content! Just curious: do you provide lists of articles where you derive the info from? Would like to read them!