90 Day Fiancé - (Jorge & Anfisa #32) - No One Cares - Therapist Reacts

[@kasimmorathi]

What I love about what Shawn did was to reassure her first "others here talked, but what they said wasn't negative - they understood you". I feel like that was the trigger that finally got Anfisa to break down. Almost like she finally got support and it was an immediate crumble.

[@katella]

If someone is nice to me I cry too.

[@agamamama1351]

The transformation in Anfisa in that vulnerable moment is really interesting and utterly heartbreaking.

[@nanablooms]

Finally, someone says something loving to Anfisa.

[@girlnettles]

5:12 “who cares they’re not even gonna show nothing” She’s saying it doesn’t matter what she says because it will be edited to make her look like a bish. So she answers the questions like a bish because that’s what the producers want.

[@DM-nw5lu]

Yup. I think as a Russian speaker it's easier to understand what she is saying. "Not gonna even show nothing" is her mixing up translating directly from Russian and her English knowledge. But what she meant (I think) is likely "They won't show anything anyway". Which is referring to both editing as well as TLC just straight up leaving out entire dates/evenings/etc that were filmed.

[@melomankapl8756]

I think in all Slavic languages we use double negation. Or even multiple negation, like "I never nowhere didn't meet noone like you."

[@katiearcher4475]

When Alla is talking, it looks like Jorge is helping to wipe Anfisa's tears. Which does help show that he does offer her comfort when the cameras arent on

[@lorraineweinstein1597]

Alla is one of the lovliest people ever to appear on this show, and yes, the tell alls were much better in the past. These days it's mostly people yelling or trying to score points.

[@juliette657]

I'm so glad Dr. Kirk is going back and watching the older tell-alls with this couple, I've been waiting for him to react to this interaction! It just seemed like such a vulnerable and human moment for both Anfisa and Alla. I know they're not a highly requested couple, but I really would love to see the doc react to Matt and Alla some day. It's fun to see him watch the more bombastic plotlines, but I feel like it would also be interesting to see him react to a lower-conflict couple.

[@DeanBeanSubmmarine]

4:08 I think she couldn't say why she was triggerd because what he was doing to piss her off was possibly illegal. I believe he got arrested not long after this.

[@Lynsey17]

Yeah, I think her tight-lippedness is a combo of not wanting to out Jorge's illegal activities and realizing TLC was going to edit her as an a**hole regardless.

[@thelucywho3983]

I feel like the host Shawn was given more control or leeway with the earlier seasons. But then they made it more like "Watch what happens next" with the Housewives franchise which is mainly all about needless drama.

[@Wc7823]

I agree. I miss the first 3 or 4 seasons.

[@Whatisthisstupidfinghandle]

Yeah. I quite watching 2 years ago

[@JudgeJeana]

The end was kinda wholesome. That the people tried to be understanding and not started to kick her when she was already lying on the ground, like they do today.

[@ashelliot8895]

damn these types of Tell-alls actually provide some content and value to the show, it's so much more interesting!

[@outoficecream2740]

Will make a suggestion if you allowed me Dr.Kirk!! We have so many dysfunctional couples on this show and I think our society at moment it's in so much lack of good and healthy relationships to mirror. So I think would be of massive value to have your review on Matt and Ola so we can perhaps reflect on how a stable and healthy relationship should look like!!

[@blankacct6421]

That's a brilliant point!! I agree 🖤

[@user-zm5gy3ux2k]

@@blankacct6421 I second that

[@w.m.8126]

I relate a lot to Anfisa in the moment she was silent when she was asked why she does some of the escalation/negative behavior she does and her response of "No one cares [if she tried to explain herself prior to that escalation point]". It's heartbreaking and painful to feel alone and misunderstood when prior you've likely tried multiple times to explain and poured your heart out into a relationship/person you love without the compassion shown that Allah (excuse my misspelling if I did) gave. I didn't understand Anfisa's underlining pain during the period Jorge and her season aired, but after this video it has definitely clicked. And I know when I'm in those silent moments that I wish the people I feel most unheard by would hear and respond to me like Shawn or Allah. I wish to be emotionally held and expressed to that my experience is not irrational, but the product of a long sequence of events where I felt abandoned or mischaracterized which does make sense and does deserve to be given care. I hope the absolute best for her and everyone involved or going through a similar experience

[@naylas3908]

I think she was silent about Jorge being a criminal, when the show portrayed HER as the villain. He’s the one who went to jail, she divorced him and is doing really well for herself.

[@Tcab96]

@@naylas3908 she physically abused him. The only person portraying her as a villain is herself with her own actions. Goddamn. People really don’t want this woman to take accountability for anything

[@krista5540]

The part with everyone sitting quietly got me laughing. :D

[@kellyhorvatin]

I just came here to say that 😂

[@Wc7823]

I rewound to make sure my sound was working.

[@mtgsk5180]

I thought it was on pause lol!!! I wasn't looking at the screen

[@brianag1175]

Same loool

[@naylas3908]

Well, the show portrayed Anfisa as the villain, but Jorge ended up in jail. He’s the one who turned out to be a criminal, and Anfisa became a badass, in charge of her own life, and doing really well. Getting divorced was the best decision she ever made. I think the reason she didn’t talk here, was because she knew Jorge was a criminal. Anfisa has recently graduated with magna cum laude from UC Irvine without debt. She now has a Bachelor’s degree in Business Management. She’s a famous Instagram influencer with close to a million followers, the brand ambassador for a sportswear brand, a certified personal trainer, a competitive bodybuilder, and an OnlyFans model.

[@ilserpente]

Jorge ended up in jail for selling weed. Anfisa destroyed his property and was physical abusive towards him. I'm going to go ahead and say that Anfisa's behavior was worse.

[@Tcab96]

@@ilserpente thank you. I feel like I’m crazy reading these comments

[@kaymiller2441]

Matt and Ola a great couple, one of my favourites. Follow them on SM for years.

[@Wc7823]

That’s good to know. I liked them a lot. Just like Amy from South Africa and Danny from PA. ❤

[@rubyflipper]

Dr. Honda, because of your suggestions, I thought much about my own actions. It helped much to talk with my son and I expressed gratitude for many things. Thank you.

[@chocolatecat198]

It's interesting to re-watch this couple and tell-all scene from 90 Day, because I remember being so confused by Jorge and Anfisa, and I also remember Alla being remarkably kind and communicative throughout the show. People seemed to hate Anfisa so much that it was surprising that Alla comforted her, but also helpful to get this more compassionate perspective. And now to hear your thoughts on them, Dr Honda.

[@nicoler5511]

I wasn’t sure about your conceptualization of Anfisa throughout these videos, but dang Dr. Honda, you were spot on! 🤯

[@hannahtennisfit6159]

Keep being you Kirk! I love your insight and it really makes me reflect on myself

[@GroovyFeminist]

This was before the tell-alls were engineered for maximum drama.

[@zilkylamb6488]

I dont like how reality show 90 day fiance has gotten. I liked how it used to be where it seemed more real.

[@irairod5160]

Yes! I used to love the show because it was about navigating the challenges of long-distance relationships, cultural differences, cross-linguistic communication, religious diversity, age gaps, race, gender norms and expectations...but now it's all about fabricated conflict. There's too much meanness.

[@PoloBoyPrince]

TV in general is very contrived. Even game shows!

[@AliciaMcIntire]

I know we all like to watch the dumpster fire couples, but it would be nice to watch him react to some of the nice couples like Alla and Matt or Lauren and Alexei every so often so we know what healthy interaction can look like

[@laursouth52]

All was definitely a sweetheart. Nothing too bad happened with her storyline. I don’t imagine she got much hate online.

[@aroh0816]

You should watch Matt and Ola Dr. Kirk, just to get a break from all the toxicity and negativity of other couples 😂

[@andra9601]

6:06 I teared up when Anfisa revealed her vulnerable self 😭

[@Zwantceeto]

This series was so interesting and gives me so much hope. Thank you for having such empathy for us and for these amazing videos ❤

[@ACFraire]

The couples, and the tell alls used to be more authentic then today’s and less sensational than the shows of today. I wish they’d go back to REAL couples we can relate to and less made up scenarios.

[@pcs82]

does anyone know if Dr Kirk has any in depth videos on humiliation trauma? would love to hear more about that

[@carina0081]

Alla is the nicest person!

[@bw7482]

It sounds like she got a really bad edit. She did what she did but I can’t imagine if someone filmed and televised my worst moments in a difficult relationship and then asked me to share my heart.

[@jalm6868]

Dr. Kirk, I would not mind you reacting to healthy couples.

[@lalalarose1371]

Not sure , have you watched Paola and Russ?

[@bonkosimasolo5844]

Kirk is just not gonna watch Angela or Big Ed is🤣

[@KJ-ut4rw]

I think he’s avoiding it as well lol and Andrei going foul mouth on Libby as well.

[@katerinazwyrtkova4653]

I am actually very sad for Anfisa here.

[@caisearbhan4738]

There’s just no excuse here. Way too destructive and detached, zero accountability. I’d have no patience.

[@naylas3908]

Well, Jorge turned out to be a criminal. That’s a pretty good excuse, I’d say. He ended up in prison, and she divorced him.

[@chrissmithz314]

​@@naylas3908 That's a good excuse for some of the things she did, seriously? The physical and verbal abuse, keying of his car, etc. There is no excuse for that stuff.

[@Camila-lv7lb]

Yeah, I dont like Libby's family but its odd that they're all bad, and one awfully ignorant, xenophobic, insensitive comment is psychopathic, yet everyone including Dr H believes Anfisa is all good inside and her abuse is just a front she puts up. I feel like she's granted far too much understanding.

[@Tcab96]

@@naylas3908 Huh? Him going to jail for crossing state lines with weed possession, which people are currently getting pardoned for, is a good excuse for taking no accountability when keying someone’s car? This is what I mean when people excuse her shitty behavior. I don’t want to see anymore, “No one’s excusing it.” People clearly are. All under the guise of “jOrGE WaS A CrIMInAL” for weed possession. 🙄🙄

[@StarryGoodbyes]

I am anxiously awaiting your video on Angela's latest...😬

[@sarah3796]

Amazing work, as always 🥰🥰🥰🥰✨✨✨

[@Kwd123]

I would love for you to react to Matt and Alla, she is very healthy which I think would be a nice change 🤷

[@goodknightmoon7733]

I hate to be that guy... but will you be covering the amouranth phone call with her husband?

[@joywebster2678]

Pedro and Chantal are on this tell all?

[@y0k0b0ng0]

Let’s just chill here for a second. 😐

[@LisaMarieB]

but she did do these terrible things. everyone has a reason. why do we excuse it?

[@BecBec295]

I don't think anyone is excusing it. In the episode where it was first shown DKH made it clear that it was abuse and that regardless of what she's going through it's not okay. For this episode however everyone is reacting to her finally showing vulnerability. Everyone deserves compassion, but that doesn't make abuse okay, and compassion or not, nobody should feel like they need to stay with an abusive partner regardless of why they are abusive. DKH is always pretty clear on that.

[@tammieafoley3691]

That pause Dr. H has at 2:35 is straight up poor editing. The way the actors (yes, I call them actors) eyes and heads are moving, they're CLEARLY listening to someone else talk. What dirty editing.

[@hodgekim]

I’d be out so fast

[@lyndonbailey3965]

Can they please let the spanish speaking and russian speaking people just speak in their mother tongue :(

[@tulip5210]

I’ve not seen it but you should watch allahs bc I think you should get a break from the difficult relationships. I want you to feel joy. I’ve just never heard of it or seen anything of it that is the only reason I’ve personally not said anything. But I would watch it if you did it.